>OH NO THE STUDENT IS DEAD, WHAT A TRAGEDY!

>OH NO THE STUDENT IS DEAD, WHAT A TRAGEDY!
>ALTHOUGH HE COULD'VE EASILY BEEN KILLED BY A DRAGON, DROWNED IN THE MERMAID LAKE OR CHOKED TO DEATH BY WEEDS IN THE LABYRINTH IN ALL OF THE PREVIOUS COMPETITIONS
>BUT THIS DEATH IN PARTICULAR IS TRAGIC!!

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    the point was no one but an absolute shitter would die to gay ass vines
    they could not have predicted an actual wizard in their casting death magic

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      fricking dragons though.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Even the 14 year old malnourished orphan could handle a dragon

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i haven't read the book since it came out, but wasnt it explained that none of the students would have been in real danger had there not been interference? go look it up for me.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds dumb, so nobody had ever died before? Kind ruins the whole reputation of this "dangerous" tournament.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Absolutely not. Students have died before, that’s why it’s been a long time since the tournament was held. Also why you have to be 17 (age of adulthood in the magical society) to compete. The tournament Harry competed in was retooled to be safer, and this was a success because had Voldemort not interfered no student would have died.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Do Bongs really go apeshit when one kid gets killed at school? That happens daily here stop being pussies.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw you will never get to go to hogwarts

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      so this is the power of the 9gag screengrab

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Literally takes one to know one homosexual. If wiener gargling aids monkeys like you didn't keep sauntering on in screeching about 3rd party sites no one would mention them ever. They were never relevant, until mongoloids like you wouldn't shut the frick up about them.
        It's a basic b***h screen cap, get a grip.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I did not care for it

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Guns Akimbo was better than expected

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Most of his movies after Harry Potter have been better than expected, tbh

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    ?si=brjLSkRBgfN8cgCC

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This movie is so fricking dumb. So, the whole elaborate plot was to engineer Harry's success at the tournament for him to touch the portkey to teleport to the graveyard? Nevermind all the close shaves Harry had where he could've easily lost or died. They could've got Harry to touch a portkey without all this convoluted rigmarole. Luckily JKR has legions of moronic fans queueing up to defend her shitty writing
    >hurr durr if Harry went missing it would raise suspicion
    So, fricking what? By the time they find out where he is, it would be too late.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >They could've got Harry to touch a portkey without all this convoluted rigmarole.
      No they couldn't have, because normally they've got Hogwarts stitched up tighter than McGonagall's c**t with anti-teleportation spells of all kinds. Hence why even Dumbledore has to take a broom ride to Hogsmeade before he can teleport anywhere. They only lifted the anti-portkey charms for the cup and so that was the only chance they had.

      Rowling has lots of bad writing but that isn't an example.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >They only lifted the anti-portkey charms for the cup and so that was the only chance they had.
        Okay, so take that chance?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          They did? Are you suggesting Not-Moody should have just taken the portkey cup and hid it under his coat after the officials set it up, then walked over to Harry and asked him if he wanted to hold it? Just to save Harry a trip through the maze?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Almost any inanimate object can be turned into a Portkey. Do that to something while the Hogwarts defenses are down, get Harry to touch it, profit.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            How about a plan that doesn't hinge on Harry winning the event?
            He was literally neck and neck with Robert Pattinson until the last second, it's not like it's a foregone conclusion that he wins.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              This can be read as an extension of Voldemort’s personal failings. Harry was prophesied to be the one who could challenge Voldemort. Therefore, he’d obviously win the tournament, right? That’s how Voldemort sees it anyway.

              In reality, he only did as well as he did because Barty Crouch Junior was doing everything he could to ensure Harry won, but Voldemort wouldn’t think that way.

              He’s a very black and white thinker, and he thinks in terms of power scaling. Given he’s one of the most powerful wizards in existence, he assumes the only way he can be beaten is by someone with even more overwhelming power. This is why he avoids Dumbledore at all costs, and why he wants to kill Harry early. He’s afraid of him ending up even more powerful than Dumbledore.

              This is made more clear in the books to be fair. In their duel in book five, Voldemort fights to kill, and Dumbledore to capture. Voldemort cannot kill Dumbledore, but even with the Elder Wand Dumbledore cannot capture Voldemort.

              Their conversation also reveals some of Voldemort’s almost autistic viewpoints. He is confused why Dumbledore isn’t trying to kill him, because in his worldview you always fight to win and raise your own station, and the simplest way to win is absolutely.

              He literally couldn’t predict Harry offering Cedric the cup out of a sense of fairness. He also can’t predict, and is blindsided every time it happens, someone doing something for a higher moral purpose. It’s ironic both that his plan could have failed if Harry let Cedric take the cup, and it’s ironic that the things that killed Cedric were Cedric’s own sense if decency and that Harry wasn’t like Voldemort when it counted.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Voldemort would have been obsessively seeking updates on the tournament, and even after being told Harry had received a good score for failing the second task by doing the wrong thing for the right reason, he just flat out still would not have understood the significance of the way almost everyone else thinks.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >He also can’t predict, and is blindsided every time it happens, someone doing something for a higher moral purpose.
                I mean he uses Sirius as bait to lure Harry to the ministry so it's not like he doesn't understand it

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Harry had Sirius' permission slip to go to Hogsmeade.
            All Barty junior had to do was hang out at hogsmeade on a weekend that students went there and toss a port key at Harry before apparating away.
            He could even use his invisibility cloak and the imperious charm to force Harry into a bathroom and do it secretly.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              In that situation Harry’s disappearance is suspicious. After successfully resurrecting himself and murdering Harry, Voldemort planned to pass Harry’s death off as him dying to one of the hazards in the maze. Then he could begin rebuilding his army in secret.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Which is why he killed Cedric and was going to kill Harry with Avada Kedevra.
                To make it look like an accident.

                They had a blank slate to place blame on the kidnapping/murder of Harry. People would not immediately jump to "Voldemort is back and he killed Harry as part of the ritual to resurrect."

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They are based on children’s books for children you know. It was fun growing up reading them. Movies were water-downed nostalgia bait. Still more enjoyable then anything out the past few years

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Noooo the guy who fricked my crush has died. I'm so le sad ;_;

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Also where's Chang Chong?

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    So if you die at Hogwarts what do they tell your parents?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Yeah.

      >Yeah.

      >Who's this?

      >This is Snape

      >Snape, what happened?

      >Well we-...

      >You get it straightened out?

      >Nah we had a problem... and uh, we tried to do everything we could.

      >What d'you mean?

      >Well, you know what I mean. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it.

      [pause]

      >That's it.

      >What d'you mean? What d'you mean? Uh...

      >He's gone. Uh, he's gone.

      [pause]

      >And that's it.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Never mind dying, what do they do when your daughter dies and then continues haunting the fricking toilets? Do you get to come visit on the holidays when the school is empty? Do you get special visitation rights that allow you to come visit the girl's bathroom at any time? Or are you just meant to move on and grieve as if your daughter can't still be talked to?

      They should have had a scene where Moaning Myrtles parents visit, old as frick because they're Hagrid's parent's age, and try to talk her through moving on to the afterlife because they're afraid they'll die of old age and never see her again because she's stuck haunting a castle's bathroom for eternity like all the other loser ghosts at Hogwarts.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I have nothing to add but this was a sincerely great post

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'm fairly sure it's impossible for ghosts to move onto the afterlife. When you die you have a choice to stick around or 'go on', and there's no changing the path you choose.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Well that's fricking grim, isn't it? I wonder what would happen if they walked through that gate at the ministry.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Well that's fricking grim, isn't it?
            I think that's the point, in the moment immediately after death it's probably temping to stick around rather than leave your loved ones behind, but in the long run it's better to move on and know you'll be with them again eventually. Harry has a convo with Nearly Headless Nick about it, Nick seems full of regret about choosing to stick around

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        ghosts are usually taken to hogwarts after they become an issue in the outside world. ghosts who never were even a part of hogwarts can end up there. myrtle in particular was a muggle born witch tho. so no chance her parents were allowed to visit after claiming her body nor would she be allowed to haunt a muggles house

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >muggle born
          Yeah that explains it. The ministry/Hogwarts definitely didn't even tell the parents about her being a ghost. Hell, they probably just mindraped her from their memories entirely so they couldn't kick up a fuss about her dying, just like they mindrape muggles into alzheimer's all over the country just because they live next to some moron wizard who can't hide.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I've wondered about Myrtle's parents a lot, too. Imagine all the pain that they went through.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          TFW they learn the giant Lenny responsible for their daughter's death was not only not imprisoned, but given full time employment at the school where he would continue to be around children and dangerous creatures.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Kinda bothers me that Hagrid was never officially pardoned or allowed to continue his magical education. Would have been kino to see him get a massive wand custom made by Olivander (I believe the length is determined by your height).

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >(I believe the length is determined by your height).
              I think so. It's also determined by your character.
              e.g. Umridge's wand was very short because she's a government bureaucrat.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >that part in the books where the deatheaters flee Hogwarts after killing Dumbledore and spells are just bouncing off Hagrid as he rages because his giant's blood makes him slightly immune to lesser spells
              He would have made one hell of an auror in charge of magical animals.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >no buddycop movie with Hagrid and Kingsley Shacklebolt travelling up and down rural England capturing rampaging beasts and fighting dark wizards

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >oh you found the killer? When is the trial, so we can attend and see our daughter's murderer for ourselves and ask him why he did it?
            >Oh there'll be no need for a trial ma'am, a very respected pupil at the school found a moronic halfblood next to a spider egg so we hauled him off to Guantanamo Bay immediately, no need to thank us!

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Our daughter was killed by a spider bite?
              >No this was a previously unknown magic spider that killed her by looking at her just like a Basilisk. Don't worry about them though he's been exiled to the nearby forest where children sometimes serve detention, so there is almost no chance this will happen again.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >d-do you mean that the spider or the "halfblood" as you call him was exiled to the nearby forest?
                >yes

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Good point. That and the paintings. When Dumbledore died he showed up the next day in a painting, sleeping softly. As if the spirit transference or whatever was still in progress. Paintings were shown to be equally sentient and able to travel to other paintings in other countries. So why didn't Harry's parents end up in paintings? Do they have to be painted when they're alive? Harry's painting parents could have simply said
        >By the way my dear son, Severus Snape is a good man. He must behave this way to protect you and his cover. Trust Dumbledore no matter what. Stuffing you with the shittiest side of my family is also a cover. Also there's an absolute frick ton of money waiting for you, do not waste it. Also there are.items.called.horcruxes and they're the key to Voldemort's immortality. I love you.
        Yes I get it, no story, but the paintings were essentially the dead spirit and consciousness

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Paintings are just magic LLMs, not the real person, the more powerful the person the better the painting though.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            How good does my doodle of voldemort have to be to become conscious and have his exact personality, and presumably memories?
            Also hypothetically is there any moral or ethical concern regarding the torture of conscious drawn images of people for the purpose of extracting information (the location of horcruxes for instance)?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >draw and enchant a shitty mspaint doodle of Voldemort
              >he’s all fricking moronic
              Hours of fun could be had messing with him

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A Hogwarts alumni delivers a folded house banner to your doorstep.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Does heaven, hell, or an afterlife exist in the Harry Potter universe?

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been I killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      > tfw i wrote the original copypasta
      > slightly bothered by this weird butchered translation but it's pretty nuch replaced mine by now

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >LETS FRICKING GO GRYFFINDOR LETS WIN THIS SHIT
    >Participant's walk in the maze
    >... Shit now what we do

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Hagrid walks up
      >hello there gentlemen! Let me tell you all about the various wee beasties I've furnished for the maze! Oh if only you could see them! It would be such a sight to behold!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >first challenge you get to watch all the participants fight a fricking dragon
      >second you sit in the cold and watch the surface of the lake waiting for the champions to return
      >third you just watch them enter a maze
      They really didn't plan this out very well

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The worst part is that you'd logically assume they've got magic televisions to watch the contestants. But they obviously don't have it because the maze plan just doesn't work if they're being watched. It could so easily have been fixed if they'd just shown the air shimmering when they get near to the room with the cup and then a shot of Cedric's dad comically hitting the side of a giant glass ball to try and fix the image that's got lots of static so you can't see anything.

        Almost any inanimate object can be turned into a Portkey. Do that to something while the Hogwarts defenses are down, get Harry to touch it, profit.

        It's not a "open all the gates" type thing. They got permission to make one portkey and the defences had that one portkey allowed through it. Like allowing one program through your firewall. Even if it wasn't that case they still wouldn't have lifted the charms before the big night, so there's really no reason to rush things and get harry to touch one outside the maze. Voldy obviously wouldn't mind waiting ten more minutes when that gives him some plausible deniability of the ministry claiming the maze killed him.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Why didn't they kidnap harry at the train station and force him to touch it?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >why didn't the guy who's playing dead and afraid to let the world know he's alive because he doesn't have enough power yet just come out and make everyone think he's back by ordering some goons to do a daylight kidnapping
            yeah that's a real conundrum, what could voldemort have been thinking

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >just come out and make everyone think he's back by ordering some goons to do a daylight kidnapping
              Yeah it's not like his followers had just attacked the largest sporting event in the wizard world for literally no reason

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >It's not a "open all the gates" type thing. They got permission to make one portkey and the defences had that one portkey allowed through it. Like allowing one program through your firewall. Even if it wasn't that case they still wouldn't have lifted the charms before the big night, so there's really no reason to rush things and get harry to touch one outside the maze. Voldy obviously wouldn't mind waiting ten more minutes when that gives him some plausible deniability of the ministry claiming the maze killed him.
          See what I mean about moronic fans jumping through hoops to explain shitty writing? And like I said, Harry almost died trying to win the tournament. Why leave this to chance when you could just make a random portkey and trick him into touching it.
          >inb4 well ackshually McGonagall was using Norton anti-charmus to block any other portkeys

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >They got permission to make one portkey
          In Order of the Penis Dumbledore literally makes a portkey right in front of Fudge and gives him a look basically telling him to frick off when he starts to protest. At any point Moody/Crouch jr could have found Harry in Hogsmeade and said "Hey Harry check out this cool rock" after he'd turned the rock into a portkey and been done with it.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >no!

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >THAT'S MY WIFE'S SON
    >THAT'S MY SÖYBOY

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >hold blood sport/death tournament
    >act shocked and appalled when one of the contestants actually dies
    Everyone's IQ dipped 70 points in the 4th movie

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Malfoy stumbled down the street and the darkness followed. All he had left was the wand clutched in his cold, sweaty hand. *clack* the street lamp ahead of him was swallowed by the night. The light was captured by a strange apparatus while reflecting against a pair of crescent-shaped spectacles. He was coming. "Draco, Draco, Draco", a calm voice reverberated from the void. "I assure you this is quite futile." *clack* The darkness descended upon Malfoy. "L-lumos.", he stammered. "Expelliarmus.", Dumbledore stated drily as he stepped next to him, his wand pointing in no particular direction. Malfoy's magic wand dropped to the ground impotently. "My father will-" he started, cowering on the cold brick road, but the sound of his own voice startled him to silence. "But my dear Draco, the Aurors are wanderboarding him as we speak. Soon we'll have the location of every Slytherin alumni. Once we do, the Order shall pay them a little visit. Have their spawns try this on for size." Dumbledore pulled a brown piece of leather from his enormous, purple coat. It was the sorting hat. "You see Draco, it took me some years to calibrate this ugly rag, but finally it can sort children of all ages. Infants even." There was a cold expression in the wizard's old, watery eyes. "To get rid of a poisonous tree, it must be plugged out by the roots. You understand, don't you Draco? The Slytherin menace must be eradicated once and for all. It gives me no pleasure." But even as he said it, Dumbledore's other wand stood to attention. "Sir, please..." Tears were obscuring his vision. "Imperius." the Headmaster said and Malfoy diligently executed his order to kneel and bite down on the curb of the sidewalk. "Farewell, Draco. No death curse for you. Disposed of like a Muggle thug... if only Salazar could see you now." There was a pause - then his mind was taken by agony as the Headmaster of Hogwarts calmly stretched his leg against the back of Malfoy's head with tremendous force.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I forget. while snape was tapping 2 islands to play counterspell, did he know raghead was doing it, or that he was catdogging voldemort on his head?

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    bro it's a kids movie

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