Oh yes, Harry and these are the house elves

They are our slaves. They are actually the ones making all the food at Hogwarts we only magic it from the basement where they slave all day.
Also they are actually more powerful than any wizard and can disapporrate anywhere in the world where wizards can't and are also able to beat Voldermort. We just forgot to think about that.
Anyway...

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They like being slaves so its ok. They turn into alcoholics when not enslaved.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      is this an anti irish joke. fuck off man.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Its literally what happens in the books. Crouch's elf gets freed and gots to work at hogwarts where she just cries and drinks all day because she isnt a slave anymore.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Doesn't even mention the Irish
        >Irishman gets pissed off, feels insulted and starts lashing out against a perceived slight
        You're a walking stereotype

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Seethe ya tinker bastard.
        Submit to the crown.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I would love to be a high class servant.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        unironically one of my fantasies is retiring as a fancy butler for a rich friend

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah sometimes I wish I were Archer.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Except Dobby. This always pissed me off. Dobby sees no issue in bending the rules to help Harry. I was fucking angry that Malfoy didnt zap him in the end. Not to mention that bullshit sock thing that Harry pulled to free him.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >They like being slaves so its ok
      They're literally conditioned to not be able to function unless they are in servitude. It's Magical Stockholm Syndrome.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymouse

        you say that like it's a bad thing

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You interpret it as me thinking it's bad.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >woman writing

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I never noticed it before but he kind of looks like if Netanyahu played Benjamin Button.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why do wizards even need slaves when they could just conjure up anything they need?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      There are rules stupid!

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    idk harry potter lore
    are the elves really stronger?
    do you have to say the words to a spell? if not wouldnt masks that block the mouth stop all magic?
    who is tom riddle?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I think the elves are supposed to really powerful with magic, but there's some fine print in their contract where they can't actually do anything unless you give them permission in the form of clothes. From what I understand saying the words of a spell is sort of like training wheels at first to help you learn it, and then later on you can just cast it by thinking it, but if you wanna be really dramatic you can still say it out loud. Tom Riddle is Moldyworts name when he was a real boy.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Elves are not really stronger. Wands are a very powerful tool and only wizards have them.
      You don't, but some spells (curses) are weakened when you don't speak the words.
      A mask (or silencing spell) does stop some magic.
      Tom Riddle is a megalomaniac who started a rivalry with a baby.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Tom Riddle is a megalomaniac who started a rivalry with a baby.
        >tfw you're the most powerful dark wizard in history and try to murder a baby, but he hits you with the Uno Reverse Card because his mommy loves him

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >this nigga got beat like a My Little Pony villain

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Tom Riddle is Voldermort?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Yes.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I will say it's based they made it work in multiple languages.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        kill yourself

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. They can do raw magic and it's much stronger than Wizards. JK just didn't know what to do with that fact so it's an asspull in the later books

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They are stronger than wizards. Dobby not only knocked out Lucius Malfoy, he also subdued Fletcher and brought him to Grimmauld Place, and was able to break in Malfoy Manor.
      They have a lot of power, they just don't want to use it against wizards.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >>are the elves really stronger?
      Their magic is stronger, they can perform spells that wizards normally can't and they don't need wands. But they're also docile creatures and actually like to be ordered about.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Not stronger per se, but consistently underestimated. Dobby couldn't take on Dumbledore.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Tom riddle is the friends we made along the way

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >are the elves really stronger?
      than the average wizard maybe, but not stronger than a s-tier one like dumbledore or voldemort
      >do you have to say the words to a spell? if not wouldnt masks that block the mouth stop all magic?
      ordinarily yes but strong wizards can do nonverbal magic
      >who is tom riddle
      lord voldemort's real name

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        it's like saying that a monkey or chimp is stronger than a human
        i don't know how people are confused by this

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >>who is tom riddle
        >lord voldemort's real name
        thanks im a retard. why doesnt anyone call him Tom then

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Elves can do magic without wands, which is hard for a human to do. But humans invented wands to channel their magic and banned other races (elves, goblins, etc.) from using them. So elves are passively better at magic but a wizard with a wand is theoretically just as good.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      No, their magic is just different and thus can bypass anti-wizard charms.
      It's like centaurs with divination and goblins with enchanting, or giants/trolls being magically resistant.

      >hermione is the only one who actually cares about the elves being slaves and is treated like an uppity cunt by everyone else for doing so
      the wizarding world doesn't seem so nice and magical anymore....

      Doubt that, I imagine someone else did but what happened was
      >force elf into liberty
      >liberty is incompatible with elf physiology and commits suicide
      Dobby is mentally ill by elf standards.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Own a house elf servant
    >You can never make it do your laundry without accidentally freeing it

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >hermione is the only one who actually cares about the elves being slaves and is treated like an uppity cunt by everyone else for doing so
    the wizarding world doesn't seem so nice and magical anymore....

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >they are actually more powerful than any wizard and can disapporrate anywhere in the world where wizards can't and are also able to beat Voldermort. We just forgot to think about that.
    Nah they aren't, they just use magic more intuitively which means compared to inexperienced wizards they are more powerful, but compared to experienced wizards they are shit tier. There isn't a house elf in existence as powerful as Dumbledore, Voldemort or Grindlewald, and most of them are probably below any competent wizards working for the Ministry of Magic. But as for them being slaves and enjoying it, yeah that's sort of fucked up. I wonder if they are inherently subservient or whether they were bred that way.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This person didn't read or understand the books

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I read all the books nigga tell me how I am wrong.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I love the duality of people loving harry potter while hating JK Rowling

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Dean Thomas's dad didn't vanish. He was a wizard but never told his wife. He left to protect their family and got killed by Death Eaters. Dean doesn't know this through.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I don't think Rowling did any of that intentionally and just subconsciously shit all of that out.
      >those bankers I met were short and had long noses so let's design the bankers that way
      >I don't know Asian names so I'll just use the first generic one I find
      >that Irish friend of mine was a crazy pyromaniac so let's base the character on him

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >>that Irish friend of mine was a crazy pyromaniac so let's base the character on him
        To be fair, have you ever set something on fire? Shit's intoxicating

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Feels good to like both Harry Potter and JK Rowling. It really pisses off my brother who can't stand JK but loves the franchise.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I'm the opposite. I hated Harry Potter and feel totally validated now JK turns out to be a piece of shit as well.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          She's only a piece of shit if your mind has been rotted by alphabet politics. By all accounts she is a very sweet person

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            No, she's a piece of shit in general. At least, going by what she believes in. She could be sweet in person but still have totally warped believes.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Like what?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Mostly her "Not like other girls" feminism, her neoliberal centrist views, her obvious eurocentrism, and her weird relationship with authority.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >mulatto is offensive now
      Huh

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    why are there poor wizards?
    Couldnt they just magic repair their house? Add rooms? Fix their clothes? etc.
    And even if not for reasons, why are they poor? Their dad works for the state, which is like 80% of wizard jobs.
    The malfoys dont do any fucking work, they are jsut rich because.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I think it's mainly inherited generational wealth and a caste system. There was probably some Malfoy ancestor that was rich and they've been set ever since.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        yeah but its like the Weaslys are forced to LARP as poor people because its funny to the other wizards?
        Again, all the poor people propblems they have could be fixed by fucking casting Repario a bunch of times. they just dont.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You could make a case that they can't afford good wands and magical ingredients. But, frankly, I find that pretty questionable. Even with a bad wand they should easily be able to become mega millionaires.

          In general though Harry Potter is written more as a Isekai than a actual urban fantasy settings. The Wizards are so comedically distant from human society it borders on being genuinly hard to believe even if a lot of them weren't explicitly from muggle society.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >poor people
          Aren't they just bumpkins? The only problem was that ony Arthur was their source of wizard money, but they have ~8 kids and are shown to have feast sized meals often.

          >Again. 7 children.
          You can have twenty children and still have money. The question is what exactly poverty means in the context of people that can spawn anything they could possibly need using magic.

          They could literally become a millionaire overnight.

          >spawn anything they could
          I think permanently conjuring anything requires top tier skill, and if they try to sell stuff to muggas the Ministry will get them.

          >>who is tom riddle
          >lord voldemort's real name
          thanks im a retard. why doesnt anyone call him Tom then

          Voldy was an edgelord who hid it both out of shame and fear that someone will use it to discover his weakness. Like emperors taking up new names after ascending the throne.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Couldn't they just magic to repair their house?
      Minors can't use magic outside of school. So the only one who could would be Molly and that would mean doing it 24/7 since there are 7 teenagers in the family that love to destroy shit for fun.
      >Add rooms?
      You would need a lot of labor to do that even with magic
      >Fix their clothes?
      No need when every child has hand-me-downs from the previous
      >why are they poor?
      Again. 7 children. And the two of them that do work are wealthy and cut ties with their parents because they hated being poor.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Again. 7 children.
        You can have twenty children and still have money. The question is what exactly poverty means in the context of people that can spawn anything they could possibly need using magic.

        They could literally become a millionaire overnight.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    People on Reddit are LITERALLY excusing slavery thanks to these shitty books.

    It's fucking hilarious. They are using all the Southern talking points from 1860. What has Rowling done?!

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I honestly have no issue with the ideas of house elves I just love the way narratively Rowling wrote herself into a corner and made it worse.

    I'm all for mocking Rowling, but frankly most of the issues with Harry Potter are the result of her shit world building rather than bad politics.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Well she is making children books not dark fantasy.
      So when she puts in pro slavery propaganda aimed at young adults it is bound to get bad publicity.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I know. But in theory you can have slavery in a children story and not have it come across as too weird.

        I still don't get why she didn't just write everybody good as anti-slavery. She's about as subtle as a house of bricks in every other regard on every other issue.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Well she is making children books not dark fantasy.
          So when she puts in pro slavery propaganda aimed at young adults it is bound to get bad publicity.

          I honestly have no issue with the ideas of house elves I just love the way narratively Rowling wrote herself into a corner and made it worse.

          I'm all for mocking Rowling, but frankly most of the issues with Harry Potter are the result of her shit world building rather than bad politics.

          https://i.imgur.com/SCMSH8X.jpg

          They are our slaves. They are actually the ones making all the food at Hogwarts we only magic it from the basement where they slave all day.
          Also they are actually more powerful than any wizard and can disapporrate anywhere in the world where wizards can't and are also able to beat Voldermort. We just forgot to think about that.
          Anyway...

          >it's ok when Roald Dahl does slavery with Oompa Loompas
          Admit it, you're just fucking sexist pieces of shit

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I'm just a coomer who gets off on thoughts of what Wonka must get up to with all the female (c)oompa-loompas that we never see in the movie.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              No wonder he closed his factory, he didn't need the outside world once he had countless submissive shortstack slavegirls to play with everyday

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >OIG (156).jpg
                Seek help

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >reading angloslop

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >almost 3 hours
    >constant necro bumps
    >can't even hit 50 posts in that time
    >product from WB
    Confirmed shill thread

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      literally thread that isn't about a really old movie is a shill thread

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      its not much but it pays the bills

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Shill for what?

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >capeshit in the 2010s and 2020s is what Harry potter was in the 2000s
    Which one do you prefer?

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Welcome, welcome, welcome, one and all, to Hogwarts. *cough* Excuse me, I've been binge watching QI all night. What a nightmarish show. And speaking of nightmarish... Kitchen Nightmares. *claps* House elfs, assemble! *elfs apparate into the hall* I have just brokered a deal with Gordon Ramsay to produce a series of episodes at the Hogwarts kitchens and pantries. I expect every single one of you to be on your meekest most slave-y behaviour. Now, many of you might not now this, but Mr. Ramsay is a squib. That is why he is so angry all the time. I do not wish to fan the flames, so you will not be allowed to use any magic in front of him, or for the purposes of cooking, at all. No conjuring beef wellingtons or lamb chops! No self-braising scallops, and so on. For every spell you use, I will personally execute a Slytherin first year. So please, *winks*, do not use any magic.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Now, be gone! *elfs disapparate* Oh.. heavens! *Dumbledore smiles grimly* I just told you, no magic! With 6 million elfs, that's.. 6 million spells.... *turns to Slytherin table* My, oh my.. AVADA KEDAVRA!

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    THREADO PROTECTO IMPETUS

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Yoda
    >Gollum
    >Dobby

    Naked and covered in oil,who’s winning the twerkoff

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Isn’t it just a riff on the old Irish folktales where elves or fair folk would make the shoes for the cobbler in exchange for little bits and bobs he and his wife would leave out at night? And she sewed them little clothes and stuff?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I think so. They also didn't like praise and would leave the family if they were shown any appreciation or given gifts.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >2000s
    >get called a baby for enjoying HP
    >"don't you know its a franchise for kids?"

    >present day
    >normalfriends discover all the interesting stuff
    >like house-elves wanting to be enslaved or dumbledore being a massive asshole
    >gets called "problematic" or some shit
    Potterbros we can't fucking win

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Hermione’s full lip quivered as she desperately tried to justify herself
    >”But Harry, you set Dobby free. So you see, deep down you agree with me and S.P.E.W.”
    >Harry smirked.
    >”Nah, I just don’t think the Malfoy’s deserve a house elf. I wish I could see Draco doing his own laundry.”
    >”But you said Mr Malfoy beat him.”
    >”Yeah well I think it’s crass to beat them, sure. Doesn’t mean I’m on board with your chunder club”.
    >”I don’t!” exclaimed Ron suddenly, looking up from his copy of Flying with the Cannons.
    >”keep em in line”
    >Hermione leapt out of her plush, cushy armchair and advanced on Ron, her mane of hair dancing dangerously.
    >”You know my family were kept as slaves right? You know my ancestors were beaten to ‘keep them in line’, right?”
    >Ron got up out of armchair too, and stood there awkwardly, his lanky ginger form cringing.
    >”That’s different,” he finally said, simply, “they were people”.
    >Reaching for another piece of treacle tart, Harry rolled his eyes at his friend’s sentimental nature.
    >But Hermione had thrown herself into Ron’s arms.
    >”Oh Ronald, I knew you weren’t into all that pureblood nonsense like Harry is.”
    >Ron held her tight to his chest, his pale fingers possessively stroking her dark, soft face, trailing through her mane of kinky hair.
    >Harry scoffed and pointedly looked away in disgust, rather than meet his friend’s eyes, enflamed as they were by bestial lust.
    >He thought of Ginny, and her pale skin, blazing eyes, flaming red hair and her pure Wizarding lineage.
    >At least he would be providing poor old Mrs Weasley with some pure children, both magically and ethnically speaking.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Suddenly the portrait door swung open, and Professor Dumbledore was in the common room, resplendent in velvet robes of violet patterned with golden moons and stars, his eyes twinkling behind his half moon glasses as he stretched his legs over towards the warmth of the fireplace.
      >Ron and Hermione awkwardly extricated themselves from each other.
      >”Yes, yes, never mind all that,” he mused gently “I was never one for the conventional myself.”
      >But then his voice lost some of it’s airy tone, and seemed to find it’s way back down to earth.
      >”However, Ms Granger, I have been led to believe that you are leaving out woollen hats for my catering and cleaning staff.”
      >”Professor, I thought you’d be on my side, seeing as you gave Dobby a pay rise when he came to work for you!”
      >”Ah, a reasonable misunderstanding. I will only be removing five points from Gryffindor today. But no, I will not tolerate such behaviour in the future, Hogwarts is running on a thin enough margin as it is. Next time, the consequences will be rather more dire.”
      >As he reached down and took Harry’s last piece of treacle Tart, his voice returned to his usual, eccentric quality.
      >”And yes, I did give Dobby a raise. I doubled his salary!”
      >Harry thought he saw a small smile twitch under the impressive snowy beard and moustache. But it happened so quickly he couldn’t be sure.
      >Dumbledore turned suddenly away from them, and as quickly as he came, he was gone, humming as he went.”

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Professor Dumbledore! Did you order the Slytherin Genocide?!

    >You don't have to answer that question!

    >I'll answer the question. You want answers?

    >I think I'm entitled to it!

    >You want answers?!

    >I want the truth!!

    >You can't handle the truth! Harry, we live in a world that has points, and those points have to be awarded to houses with students. Who's gonna do it? You? You're a wizard Harry? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Slytherin and you curse Professor Snape. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that genociding Slytherin wasn't tragic because they're probably all Voldermort loving shits. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that office. You need me manipulating your entire life. We use words like "house cups", "muggle-born", "did you put you name in the Goblet of Fire". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps because I saved his life when he was a baby, and then questions the manner in which I did it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a wand, and earn some fucking points for Griffindor. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
    He said calmly

    >Did you order the Slytherin Genocide?

    >I did the job that Godric sent me to do

    >Did you order the Slytherin Genocide?!

    >YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Turns out Rowling isn't a very good writer and the world is just full of barely literate retards who just wanted the self insert wish fulfillment anyway.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

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