>Once a jedi you become, celibate you must be.

>Once a jedi you become, celibate you must be.

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >so no change to my sex life, got it

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He didn't say that. Some Jedi have sex.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sex leads to the dark side, Yoda says so himself.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ki Adi Mundi's race was endangered and he gets to have all the sex he wants. I'm surprised his 100's of children haven't showed up as Jedi yet

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yoda and Yaddle banged too and had Yeed

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Not quite. Yoda and Minch Yaddle had sex and produced Minch Yoder as their offspring

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You can frick women as long as you don't get attached to them. Nut and go is the Jedi way.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          yes but you can't trust people to not get attached, so it's better to just blanket-ban sex.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Is that a hole in a sheet joke?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Padme and Anakin just had to frick once to release the sexual tension between them. They weren't in love, they were infatuated like two high school kids. When they eventually have sex, they have it once, she gets pregnant and dies and he becomes a deformed shell of a man. If Obi Wan had any wisdom he would have told Anakin to tap it a couple of times and move on.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No he didn't

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        at that point jedi rules were out the window
        he just wanted someone to kill vader

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yoda literally never says that.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You only get your wizard jedi powers if you remain a virgin until you’re 30. Just look at Luke if you don’t believe me. Annakin got some poussy so he had to go to the dark side.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Stupidest FRICKING thing Lucas said is that Jedi can have sex but can't form attachments. The man is a menace to good storytelling.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        now I may be wrong since I'm basing this on the current wookiepedia orthodoxy, which obviously is not always correct for many reasons, but the whole attachment debacle isn't even true in that the jedi are actually against the inability to let go from attachments rather than attachments per se, so in effect they're lazy pussies unwilling to actually deal with their emotional complexities especially given all the attachments between jedi that aren't romantic

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Jedi also don't really have a system for meaningful punishment of things like that. They don't throw you in Jedi jail. They might not promote you up the order or they might eject you entirely, but the Force is basically like God. It's bigger than the Jedi themselves and realistically if you aren't up to any Sith type shit, they'll most likely look the other way because it's better to have you in the order and banging a lot of alien bawds but still being able to be guided appropriately and sending you on missions than it is to boot you out and basically have some rogue force user out there with a chip on their shoulder against the Jedi order. It doesn't make sense to raise that issue.

      The bad story telling in the prequels was that this wasn't conveyed. Anakin was raised a slave so he was rigidly adherent to rules and hierarchy.So when the Jedi said "don't do this." All of the Jedi knew it meant "don't do this in a way that makes us have to address it" except Anakin who took it literally. We only see the Jedi Order through Anakin's eyes and it makes them seem a lot more draconian than they actually are and it's also what ends up leading Anakin to fall to the Dark Side. If he knocked up Padme, rich senator from Naboo, what would the Jedi REALLY have done? A normal person would be like "oh well, frick it," but Anakin's slave upbringing made him completely terrified of standing up to authority which made him ultimately a closet authoritarian that would become the right hand man of the Emperor.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can't blame Anakin for all that. Obi-Wan should've raised him better.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Some Jedi have sex.
      Unlike Star Wars fans.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Yoda and Windu - Once a jedi you become, celibate you must be.
    >Except my conehead alien homie, rules for thee but not for he.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Anakin you can't have sex or care about your mother
      >now go protect the senator while master mundi goes to visit his children

      What the frick did they mean by this?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ki Adi Mundi's race was endangered and he gets to have all the sex he wants. I'm surprised his 100's of children haven't showed up as Jedi yet

      Does it count when Master Mundi shows me where he hides his lightsaber?

      >Anakin you can't have sex or care about your mother
      >now go protect the senator while master mundi goes to visit his children

      What the frick did they mean by this?

      Reddit fanfiction.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yes, that’s what the prequels are, what was your point?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Mara is from pre-mousewar times.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You gotta understand. Filonitroons love Mouse Wars and don't want to lose what they have.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The lore is the Conehead species was endangered so he was allowed to reproduce to bring up the numbers.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sure would be a tragedy if we lost the fricking coneheads.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I find it hilarious that Mundi’s family got murdered by a Gossam death squad.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >A P90 with an MG-34 barrel
            >P90 magazine is still attached
            Oh kek

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              It’s a fricking abomination

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          To be fair, that old man conehead Jedi went toe to toe with General Grievous in his prime and survived. Had to be rescued, but he held out like a champ.
          Coneheads are durable as hell.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sex leads to the dark side, Yoda says so himself.

      mmmhmm tight bussy have you, young Skywalker

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can frick, you just can't form emotional attachments

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Obi-Wan never had sex
    >Luke never had sex
    >Rey never had sex
    >Palpatine had sex

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rey had force sex with Kylo

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Obi-Wan had an old flame he had very strong feelings for in The Clone Wars and its implied they've fricked.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He also had a Jedi GF and some other chick in the Gambit books. Dude got around.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I remember a prequel meme that that woman's "nephew" was the spitting image of Obi Wan...

        You can frick women as long as you don't get attached to them. Nut and go is the Jedi way.

        >Be Jedi
        >Frick and dump a hundred women across the galaxy
        >They are left to be single mothers
        >The force is genetically heritable
        >Mal-adjusted fatherless force-sensitive young men grow up to be sith
        >jobsecurity.rtf

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >yes my son is force sensitive
          >um... virgin birth!

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Obi-Wan
      Fricked Jedi Siri Tachi
      Fricked Duchess Satine of Mandalore while Whitney Houston's I will always love you played in the background

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Well now that Rey Palpatine struck down her grandpa so he could take over her just like he planned, she's (he's) going to get busy utilizing that pussy

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Luke had tons of sex. Even had a son.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Puppet yoga terrified me as a kid. The way he looked, talked and acted remind me of an old gay molester. Nightmare fuel

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    don't tell me what to do, old turtle homosexual

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >old turtle homosexual
      Yoda's a Goblin.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This game is extremely based.
      I love how it blatantly shits on the sequels lore.
      The Jedi books that Luke destroys in The Last Jedi were salvaged by Cal and his friends and basically cost the lives of 2 jedi masters. And Lukw basically destroys them as if their sacrifice didn't matter.
      You want real Star Wars? Play the new games. Not tv/movie slop

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Luke never destroyed the books, Rey took them with her. Yoda was just fricking with Luke when he blew up the tree.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >You want real Star Wars?
        Not really. I'm not nine years old any more.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's ridiculous that Disney decided all the main heroes should be deadbeat failures with broken families. The company used to be all about family. Their sequels could have been so much improved just by having Han and Leia still together with kids they cared about, and Luke with Mara loving each other. Instead they thought the best course was to have everyone be depressed worthless losers.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >wtt are those stakes and conflicts??? THIS IS LITERALLY WHITE MALE GENOCIDE

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You can have stakes without making everyone a fricking loser. Having to defend one’s family or deal with shit while you got a family ups the stakes

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The Disney bootlicker has arrived. Apparently asking for characters to not be out of character losers and the shill defaults to strawman talking points.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's ridiculous that Disney decided all the main heroes should be deadbeat failures with broken families. The company used to be all about family. Their sequels could have been so much improved just by having Han and Leia still together with kids they cared about, and Luke with Mara loving each other. Instead they thought the best course was to have everyone be depressed worthless losers.

      Not canon and Lucas hated Mara.
      Cope EU boys.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You cope, nobody acknowledges or cares about rat canon.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        George isn't the only authority on SW. He only directed the first movie and the prequels yet you people like to hone in on him and say he is the arbiter of truth. Even though the prequels sucked.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He wrote and produced all of them. If you don't know how film-making works, don't give an opinion about it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Should I give a shit about what George considers canon or not now that he sold his baby to white slavers and was involved in some of the worst pieces of Star Wars fiction ever put to cinema and tv? If so, why? What does anyone gain by this?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        by this logic disney canon isn’t canon either due to lack of Lucas involvement

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does it count when Master Mundi shows me where he hides his lightsaber?

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >*rapes Yoda*
    What now, homosexual frog?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He'd like it since he's clearly a flaming homosexual

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Totally

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Easy to say for a man whose species is dead below the waste, lol.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So the force is determined by biological factors like midichloreans but the Jedi are celibate? So they basically make sure their midichlorean genes aren't passed on and Jedi die out?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Midichlorians (as the source of force ability) got retconned

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Really? In which of the 6 movies did that happen?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Haha yeah

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There are nine Star Wars movies, anon.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Six? There is only three and that weird christmas special, anon

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Force users are like mutants from X-Men. Shit's a lottery.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Anakin was conceived through immaculate conception. The Force raped Smee.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No, it's canon that Sheev was his father.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Imagine if the Force took human form and he just looks like Hayden.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      there's probably enough force-sensitive people out there that they reproduce anyways and get discovered. Probably only a small fraction get discovered and get sent to jedi training. Probably lots don't want to either.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The force supersedes biological determinism, they physically don't pass their genes but the forces keeps spawning possible future genes

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why does Yoda talk the way he does while master Yaddle and Vandar (EU) talk normally?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe he was supposed to be this ancient alien that had been locked away form the world for so long he started to speak gibberish but then it turned out he was still in charge of the order and flying through the air doing spins at the ceiling 20 years before.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was supposed to be just something eccentric he was doing to fool Luke while he pretended to be a wacky kook living in a swamp. But then Lucas knew everyone would get pissed at him if he didn't make Yoda exactly the same decades prior when he was still at the top of the Jedi leadership

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Too bad it happened when they were almost 40. It didn't even need to be that way. The EU authors just kept on pushing the timeline forward and would not chill the frick out for a bit.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't like the Sequels, But I like the Idea of an wise old man Luke. In FOTJ, he still looks relatively the same.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >he still looks relatively the same.
          Because Hamill aged like crap.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            He got in great shape for the movies and they sqandered it.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Hamill never had the hero look. Dude never had the looks and presence of a leading man.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >He got in great shape for the movies
              Define great shape.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Too bad it happened when they were almost 40
        That's not exactly their death bed. People get married at 40 in real life too. They didn't meet until they were almost 30.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >People get married at 40 in real life too
          Waiting that long gives you moron babies. Only guys can marry that late.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Luke and Mara are both peak human health and conditioning though. I'm sure their kids would be fine.

            Hamill never had the hero look. Dude never had the looks and presence of a leading man.

            Yeah, yeah we get it, you hate hamill.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Yeah, yeah we get it, you hate hamill.
              I don't hate the guy. Dude's a great VA. He just doesn't have the stuff to be a leading man, not like Ford.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Thankfully Ben wasn't autistic like DU Ben.

        Luke had a new LI every other EU storyline, Mara was just the one who stuck. I always forget Ben wasn't born until the NJO books, makes Tahri groping him up as a replacement for Anakin very amusing.

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Younglings, not count they do

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Yeah you also said I had to kill my dad and I told you no on that one too. Didn't do shit about that one, did you?

    >Now just so long as the dumbest motherfricker ever to produce a movie doesn't somehow get an insane amount of control, we should be able to go on new and fresh adventures instead of rehashing A New Hope beat for beat but worse, then rehashing ESB and ROTJ beat for beat but way worse while still cribbing from ANH, and then rehashing ROTJ again, but also worse and cribbing from ESB.

    >So long as literally any other producer than the actual dumbest motherfricker who has dirt on execs gets a hold of it, we'll be fine!

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did you take your meds?

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ok. See. That part wasn't explained to me. And I wasn't about to assume that was the case, considering how my father was a jedi knight. But thanks for clarifying.

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This would indeed be dumb, if there weren't hundreds of Jedi and only two Sith.
    So reproduction doesn't appear to be a problem for Jedi.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    so no head

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    way ahead of you yodels

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yes. So?

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    prequels are not canon
    sequels are not canon

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >prequels are not canon
      Nerd.

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >cum not, you must!
    >waste your force gains on the sexy willing red-head, you cannot!
    >fat asses, matter not!
    >big booba, matter not!
    >your craving for b***hes, you must forsake, luke!
    >tempt you away from the force, they will!

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >delicious, tight, wet, horny honeys lure you from the force they will
    >Just as the lightsaber enjoys no sheath, so shall you

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jej

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Fricks a dark side user called MJ so hard she turns good and names his kid after his mentor
    In a better universe...

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I like how Luke doesn't dispute the fact they're gay, just the idea of asking them about it.

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Forcemaxxing jedcel.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I guess it's down to you and me, teach.

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    reminder that these two were definitely fricking throughout the clone wars

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No they weren't. Obi-Wan is a Jedincel

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    May the force guide your scrotum.

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He pretty much says this though. He tells Luke that to be a true Jedi he should let go of his friends.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >screw that, I'll make my own Jedi Order with pazaak and wookies

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that's why he lives as a hermit in that swamp so no one can see him jerk off

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    were the jedi's the bad guys?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it was pretty apparent when mace windu appeared on screen

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >the 4-parter published in the dark horse series that showed Ki-Adi-Mundi having five wives
    >Quinlan Vos and the blue twilek girl obviously having had an affair together
    >the part when twi-leks were revealed to be the perfect sex slaves due to their physiology
    >all came out before Episode 2
    >they just glaze over all that for the rest of the 83 issues

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Quinlan Vos and the blue twilek girl obviously having had an affair together
      Aayla was his Padawan and surrogate daughter. He literally raised her. She did have a thing with Kit Fisto though.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        he probably fricked her doe fr
        i would have

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >he probably fricked her doe fr
          No, freak.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            um but she's hot

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Name a single reason Luke shouldn't convert and impregnate a red headed hothead

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He isn't handsome enough.

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Really? No ones posted the no panties in space shit?

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