Only the funniest failures may be posted in this thread

Distinctly Black faces.

Stock in production hell probably

Will we ever get animated mocap kino again? did this kill the genre?

This movie is so funny to me because the takeaway of the studio was that it flopped because of "Mars" being in the title. Kids are just really not into Mars these days.
Definitely not "mom". Kids will always love watching movies about their mom.

At least we got some hot Martian booty

Everytime I see this title in my mind I change it to Mars Needs Mammies.

It amuses me.

>argonian family encountering the last dunmer in vvardenfell.jpg

Looks like a scene from the Star Wars prequels

I honestly almost like the aesthetic? Obviously the characters are horrid but I kinda dig the fantasy look, it reminds me of the backgrounds of Bejeweled 3

8 years and those are the character designs they stuck with?

>Val Kilmer
>Eric Idle

actually looks good, too bad the characters are ugly as frick. also Delgo is a stupid name

The funniest thing about this is that it wasn't even that big of a financial flop, tons of people still went to see it, but Ghostbusters Afterlife is considered a bigger success even though less people saw it, it cost way less money to make. They spent 144 MILLION dollars just filming hours of the actors just goofing around adlibbing lines, then created some shitty CGI effects and called it a day.

Eternally fricking funny. And the freakouts were even funnier.

Infinitely funnier than the movie itself

the funniest thing about the Ghostbusters reboot was the fact that the entire population of feminists on the internet defended it but they also forgot to buy a ticket to see it in theaters

Were those all couples looking to frick in an empty theater?

>>the film is infamous for leading to over 90 cancer diagnoses and 40+ deaths
>>it was filmed downwind of nuclear testing in the Mojave

The memes are real.

damn this must've been the last movie my dad took me to see

>le short-haired, pink/purple-highlighted asian girl love interest
Where did this meme start?

Funny but honestly kind of sad

>Animal issues
>Additionally, over 1,200 live animals were used in the film including dogs, pigs, birds, and even giraffes, all of which required understudies. There are anecdotes of a goat who ate Fleischer's script and a parrot that learned to yell "cut." In one instance, ducks for the film were placed on a lake, but had apparently forgotten how to swim and began to sink, and crew members had to jump into the water to save them. Animals also bit and defecated on the cast and crew, including Harrison.

>Location issues
>Because of the troublesome location shoots, the production sets were later reconstructed on the Fox studio lot in California. By then, the production budget had reached $17 million. Four months later, when filming had finished, Harrison insisted on re-recording his songs live on set. This infuriated conductor Lionel Newman, but he gave into Harrison's demands which proved to be tedious as the orchestral arrangements had to be added later. Filming was finished by April 1967

And the kicker

>The film faced strong competition from Disney's animated feature film The Jungle Book, which had opened to considerable critical and audience acclaim two months earlier and was still in wide release. Doctor Dolittle's appeal as family fare was undermined when the press drew attention to racist content in the books, prompting demands to have them removed from public schools.

>According to studio records, the film needed to earn $31,275,000 in rentals to break even, and by December 1970, the film had made $16.3 million. In September 1970, the studio estimated it had lost $11,141,000 on the movie.

Now this is hilarious. They should make a movie about making this film

>Animal issues
>Additionally, over 1,200 live animals were used in the film including dogs, pigs, birds, and even giraffes, all of which required understudies. There are anecdotes of a goat who ate Fleischer's script and a parrot that learned to yell "cut." In one instance, ducks for the film were placed on a lake, but had apparently forgotten how to swim and began to sink, and crew members had to jump into the water to save them. Animals also bit and defecated on the cast and crew, including Harrison.

>Location issues
>Because of the troublesome location shoots, the production sets were later reconstructed on the Fox studio lot in California. By then, the production budget had reached $17 million. Four months later, when filming had finished, Harrison insisted on re-recording his songs live on set. This infuriated conductor Lionel Newman, but he gave into Harrison's demands which proved to be tedious as the orchestral arrangements had to be added later. Filming was finished by April 1967

And the kicker

>The film faced strong competition from Disney's animated feature film The Jungle Book, which had opened to considerable critical and audience acclaim two months earlier and was still in wide release. Doctor Dolittle's appeal as family fare was undermined when the press drew attention to racist content in the books, prompting demands to have them removed from public schools.

>According to studio records, the film needed to earn $31,275,000 in rentals to break even, and by December 1970, the film had made $16.3 million. In September 1970, the studio estimated it had lost $11,141,000 on the movie.

How very fitting that the latest adaptation of Dr. Dolittle also ran into loads of filming and post-production problems with delays and eventually a big flop. Probably not as hilarious though.

I loved this series in elementary school tbqh

So let's buy a thing no one even remembers, then change it into something even the outliers who know what the frick it is wont recognize? Holy frick Hollywood execs are moronic.

Oof, just like Kingdoms of Amalur

Flowery language to basically say "he used unpaid/underpaid interns"

why has hollywood spent decades trying to convince me that hag is attractive?

It was actually good, but I also could understand why it flopped so hard, too. Especially for the time, I'm surprised a four-hour slow burn Western with no real stars in it was even greenlit.

>you are meant to support the aliens but everything the movie does makes you support the humand taking the planet.
Just like Avatar.

rick?

>Jiang's mismanagement of production was comparable to that of Tommy Wiseau. Hairstyles changed frequently, extras were used to play multiple background characters, Jiang insisted on wrinkly swimcaps for the actors playing mermen instead of proper makeup, actors were put into makeup "just in case" even on days when they weren't set to film, and when, during shooting on a beach with a very non-ancient hotel resort in clear view, director Jonathan Lawrence jokingly suggested building a wall to block the view of the resort and keep it out of the shot, Jiang took him seriously and actually built that wall — defeating the purpose of shooting on location instead of on a soundstage (because now they'd need to use CGI to cover up the wall).
>Lawrence was actually the second director hired for the film, which ultimately went through four of them. The first director hired for the project, Pitof, was best known in the West as the director of the infamous bomb Catwoman (2004). Pitof thought that the screenplay (which Jiang wrote himself) was so terrible that, upon reading it, he immediately hired Michael Ryan to do major rewrites, producing a screenplay that was more reminiscent of Clash of the Titans (2010). Jiang, unfortunately, hated Ryan's script, and after multiple fights over it, Pitof eventually quit before production began. Lawrence, who Jiang had initially passed over, was hired next, and held the same opinion of Jiang's script; he ultimately left the film due to both problems receiving his pay and concerns over conditions on set. Canadian director Michael French was next in the director's chair; due to a preexisting work commitment, he could only shoot for three months, and he decided to shoot the film as a comedy, owing to both his background in the genre and (again) the fact that he thought the script was incredibly campy. Scott Miller, the son of sports documentarian Warren Miller, was the one who finally finished it.

>Lawrence wasn't the only one whose paychecks came late or not at all. Foreign extras who grumbled about not getting paid were met with visits from the police to check their visas, while Maulion ultimately quit the film over $30,000 he was owed that failed to materialize.
>No OSHA Compliance was in full effect on set. Scenes were shot in caves with random falling rocks, in remote locations where access to a rescue helicopter could not be guaranteed if anything went wrong, and (for underwater scenes) in a diving tank with lights hanging just a few inches above the water that was kept clean simply by dumping more chlorine into it. Actors and crew worked in very non-union conditions; work days ran up to 22 hours straight at points, with no heaters, no water, and few breaks for food and rest. For the mermen, the glue used to hold their prosthetics to their bodies wound up being toxic and irritating their skin. When actress Irena Violette quit the production out of fear for her safety, not only was her character written out of the film, but the producers tried to stop her from leaving the country; she needed help from Lawrence and an American consulate to return home.
>The few people who have seen the finished film have described it as one of the most unintentionally hilarious things they'd ever witnessed, such that it could become a Cult Classic on the "bad movie" circuit if it were ever released. Jiang, for his part, still insists that Empires of the Deep will see the light of day.

do it Jiang release the cut

The frick

>Jiang's mismanagement of production was comparable to that of Tommy Wiseau. Hairstyles changed frequently, extras were used to play multiple background characters, Jiang insisted on wrinkly swimcaps for the actors playing mermen instead of proper makeup, actors were put into makeup "just in case" even on days when they weren't set to film, and when, during shooting on a beach with a very non-ancient hotel resort in clear view, director Jonathan Lawrence jokingly suggested building a wall to block the view of the resort and keep it out of the shot, Jiang took him seriously and actually built that wall — defeating the purpose of shooting on location instead of on a soundstage (because now they'd need to use CGI to cover up the wall).
>Lawrence was actually the second director hired for the film, which ultimately went through four of them. The first director hired for the project, Pitof, was best known in the West as the director of the infamous bomb Catwoman (2004). Pitof thought that the screenplay (which Jiang wrote himself) was so terrible that, upon reading it, he immediately hired Michael Ryan to do major rewrites, producing a screenplay that was more reminiscent of Clash of the Titans (2010). Jiang, unfortunately, hated Ryan's script, and after multiple fights over it, Pitof eventually quit before production began. Lawrence, who Jiang had initially passed over, was hired next, and held the same opinion of Jiang's script; he ultimately left the film due to both problems receiving his pay and concerns over conditions on set. Canadian director Michael French was next in the director's chair; due to a preexisting work commitment, he could only shoot for three months, and he decided to shoot the film as a comedy, owing to both his background in the genre and (again) the fact that he thought the script was incredibly campy. Scott Miller, the son of sports documentarian Warren Miller, was the one who finally finished it.

>Lawrence wasn't the only one whose paychecks came late or not at all. Foreign extras who grumbled about not getting paid were met with visits from the police to check their visas, while Maulion ultimately quit the film over $30,000 he was owed that failed to materialize.
>No OSHA Compliance was in full effect on set. Scenes were shot in caves with random falling rocks, in remote locations where access to a rescue helicopter could not be guaranteed if anything went wrong, and (for underwater scenes) in a diving tank with lights hanging just a few inches above the water that was kept clean simply by dumping more chlorine into it. Actors and crew worked in very non-union conditions; work days ran up to 22 hours straight at points, with no heaters, no water, and few breaks for food and rest. For the mermen, the glue used to hold their prosthetics to their bodies wound up being toxic and irritating their skin. When actress Irena Violette quit the production out of fear for her safety, not only was her character written out of the film, but the producers tried to stop her from leaving the country; she needed help from Lawrence and an American consulate to return home.
>The few people who have seen the finished film have described it as one of the most unintentionally hilarious things they'd ever witnessed, such that it could become a Cult Classic on the "bad movie" circuit if it were ever released. Jiang, for his part, still insists that Empires of the Deep will see the light of day.

>Jon Jiang had also described to Jonathan Lawrence his vision for the film as "Transformers meets Shakespeare"; in response Lawrence replied that the film would likely "alienate one of those audiences"

>Jiang's mismanagement of production was comparable to that of Tommy Wiseau. Hairstyles changed frequently, extras were used to play multiple background characters, Jiang insisted on wrinkly swimcaps for the actors playing mermen instead of proper makeup, actors were put into makeup "just in case" even on days when they weren't set to film, and when, during shooting on a beach with a very non-ancient hotel resort in clear view, director Jonathan Lawrence jokingly suggested building a wall to block the view of the resort and keep it out of the shot, Jiang took him seriously and actually built that wall — defeating the purpose of shooting on location instead of on a soundstage (because now they'd need to use CGI to cover up the wall).
>Lawrence was actually the second director hired for the film, which ultimately went through four of them. The first director hired for the project, Pitof, was best known in the West as the director of the infamous bomb Catwoman (2004). Pitof thought that the screenplay (which Jiang wrote himself) was so terrible that, upon reading it, he immediately hired Michael Ryan to do major rewrites, producing a screenplay that was more reminiscent of Clash of the Titans (2010). Jiang, unfortunately, hated Ryan's script, and after multiple fights over it, Pitof eventually quit before production began. Lawrence, who Jiang had initially passed over, was hired next, and held the same opinion of Jiang's script; he ultimately left the film due to both problems receiving his pay and concerns over conditions on set. Canadian director Michael French was next in the director's chair; due to a preexisting work commitment, he could only shoot for three months, and he decided to shoot the film as a comedy, owing to both his background in the genre and (again) the fact that he thought the script was incredibly campy. Scott Miller, the son of sports documentarian Warren Miller, was the one who finally finished it.

>Lawrence wasn't the only one whose paychecks came late or not at all. Foreign extras who grumbled about not getting paid were met with visits from the police to check their visas, while Maulion ultimately quit the film over $30,000 he was owed that failed to materialize.
>No OSHA Compliance was in full effect on set. Scenes were shot in caves with random falling rocks, in remote locations where access to a rescue helicopter could not be guaranteed if anything went wrong, and (for underwater scenes) in a diving tank with lights hanging just a few inches above the water that was kept clean simply by dumping more chlorine into it. Actors and crew worked in very non-union conditions; work days ran up to 22 hours straight at points, with no heaters, no water, and few breaks for food and rest. For the mermen, the glue used to hold their prosthetics to their bodies wound up being toxic and irritating their skin. When actress Irena Violette quit the production out of fear for her safety, not only was her character written out of the film, but the producers tried to stop her from leaving the country; she needed help from Lawrence and an American consulate to return home.
>The few people who have seen the finished film have described it as one of the most unintentionally hilarious things they'd ever witnessed, such that it could become a Cult Classic on the "bad movie" circuit if it were ever released. Jiang, for his part, still insists that Empires of the Deep will see the light of day.

How hard would this have flopped, had it been released?

>Jiang's mismanagement of production was comparable to that of Tommy Wiseau. Hairstyles changed frequently, extras were used to play multiple background characters, Jiang insisted on wrinkly swimcaps for the actors playing mermen instead of proper makeup, actors were put into makeup "just in case" even on days when they weren't set to film, and when, during shooting on a beach with a very non-ancient hotel resort in clear view, director Jonathan Lawrence jokingly suggested building a wall to block the view of the resort and keep it out of the shot, Jiang took him seriously and actually built that wall — defeating the purpose of shooting on location instead of on a soundstage (because now they'd need to use CGI to cover up the wall).
>Lawrence was actually the second director hired for the film, which ultimately went through four of them. The first director hired for the project, Pitof, was best known in the West as the director of the infamous bomb Catwoman (2004). Pitof thought that the screenplay (which Jiang wrote himself) was so terrible that, upon reading it, he immediately hired Michael Ryan to do major rewrites, producing a screenplay that was more reminiscent of Clash of the Titans (2010). Jiang, unfortunately, hated Ryan's script, and after multiple fights over it, Pitof eventually quit before production began. Lawrence, who Jiang had initially passed over, was hired next, and held the same opinion of Jiang's script; he ultimately left the film due to both problems receiving his pay and concerns over conditions on set. Canadian director Michael French was next in the director's chair; due to a preexisting work commitment, he could only shoot for three months, and he decided to shoot the film as a comedy, owing to both his background in the genre and (again) the fact that he thought the script was incredibly campy. Scott Miller, the son of sports documentarian Warren Miller, was the one who finally finished it.

>Lawrence wasn't the only one whose paychecks came late or not at all. Foreign extras who grumbled about not getting paid were met with visits from the police to check their visas, while Maulion ultimately quit the film over $30,000 he was owed that failed to materialize.
>No OSHA Compliance was in full effect on set. Scenes were shot in caves with random falling rocks, in remote locations where access to a rescue helicopter could not be guaranteed if anything went wrong, and (for underwater scenes) in a diving tank with lights hanging just a few inches above the water that was kept clean simply by dumping more chlorine into it. Actors and crew worked in very non-union conditions; work days ran up to 22 hours straight at points, with no heaters, no water, and few breaks for food and rest. For the mermen, the glue used to hold their prosthetics to their bodies wound up being toxic and irritating their skin. When actress Irena Violette quit the production out of fear for her safety, not only was her character written out of the film, but the producers tried to stop her from leaving the country; she needed help from Lawrence and an American consulate to return home.
>The few people who have seen the finished film have described it as one of the most unintentionally hilarious things they'd ever witnessed, such that it could become a Cult Classic on the "bad movie" circuit if it were ever released. Jiang, for his part, still insists that Empires of the Deep will see the light of day.

This feels The Rings of Power, but with a chinese dude instead of Bezos.

>it has never been released despite being all but finished.

Frick this made me kek. I figured it at least got a Chinese release. The absolute fricking hubris.

>FOOOOOOD.......... FIIIIIIIGHT (2002)!
stopped watching there

Interestingly, Olga Kurylenko is mentioned just twice in this whole article despite being the only real celebrity involved and seemingly being pushed as the star, first to say she was cast for some name value and paid 1 million, second to say she arrived to shoot her scenes, was well liked on set and had no issues.

Seems like she basically got paid, got in, got out, end of story.
By the looks of that trailer above she was playing some kind of queen character, so I'm guessing she was not in the film nearly as much as the posters with just her on them implied.

>The merman costumes were full-body rubber outfits with nubs meant to look like coral. The actors’ faces would be painted green, with fins affixed to their heads. The suits were too loose and needed to be glued to the actors’ skin. (With actual glue. In a blog post, one merman extra recalled that his skin became irritated; when he checked the adhesive bottle, he noticed a warning label that read “AVOID CONTACT WITH SKIN” in large print.)
kek

>A few days after the cave scene, Lawrence, Polites, Maulion, Violette, and Berg, along with some of the Chinese crew members and translators, hiked out to scout a shooting location situated on a rocky riverbed. It had been raining for days, and the rocks were covered with wet, slimy moss.

>As a safety measure, the crew had laid carpet over the rocks and hired carpenters to build a handrail along a particularly difficult section. Still, there were spots so precarious that the group needed to get down on all fours and crawl.

>The hike took an hour, and once they arrived the Americans debated with their translators and a few Chinese crew members about whether it was possible to shoot there at all: The costume and makeup tents had to be set up at a distance from the shooting location, and Irena Violette and the mermaid actors would need to walk over slippery rocks with fins attached to their legs.

>Violette was particularly concerned that she might get hurt. Nobody even knew how long it would take to get to the closest hospital.
>“If I slip and fall, is there a helicopter?” Violette said.
>Lawrence asked one of the translators if the movie had medical insurance. The translator said that it did but that there was no evacuation plan.
>“If somebody falls and breaks their neck or their skull, what’s the backup?” Lawrence asked.
>“They say they will take the fastest measure,” the translator said.

>Back at the hotel, Lawrence fought to scrap the location, and Rao agreed that it was unshootable. But Jiang, who was not on set, was unwavering; the rumor was that his girlfriend, Shi Yanfei, insisted on the spot.

>Lawrence appealed to Hai Tao, the assistant director. Could he explain to Jiang that Lawrence didn’t want to shoot under such dangerous conditions? Jiang asked Hai Tao to tell Lawrence that if he didn’t do his job, he’d be fired. He took back his threat, but Lawrence reluctantly went ahead with the shoot anyway.

>Rejoice friends because all these flops will pale in comparison of the billion dollar show: Lawd dem Ringz
Is this why my Prime membership keeps getting more expensive?
Can't wait for it to flop and in 3 years the service will be nothing but The Boys and Invincible spinoffs.

Lone Ranger didn't deserve the hate it got. I assumed it was a big stinker and never saw it until years and years later and by then the frenzy of people shitting all over it had faded. Some plot threads were neglected but in general is was an alright movie. Fintchner as a hammy evil antagonist was great as usual and the big stupid literal trainwreck finale was fun. My favorite part of all though was Hans Zimmer letting it all hang out writing that musical shitpost that is the finale. Variations on a Theme of the William Tell Overture with 500 horns that just never ends. Obviously the superior western costarring Johnny Depp is Rango but to be disappointed by a reboot of the fricking Lone Ranger in 2013 because it's too silly is baffling to me. It's a good time if you pull your head out of your ass.

>armie hammer
That guy was in a lot of duds. That fentanyl one was a fricking stinker.

I found it funny that Depp was portraying the Comanches in a sympathetic note when in reality they were known as the fricking Mongols of the American plains and were utterly rapacious bastards even by plain indian standards.

Wow that's what that frickin movie looks like? All I ever knew about it was the title and that it grossed 30 dollars from like one cinema for a week. I assumed it was some indie drama, that cast and cover looks more like a thriller.

Wew lads. We're definitely not all gonna make it off of that.

I don't understand how the mechanic so the monster truck works at all. The truck drives like a normal truck, but the monster takes up all the space where the engine would be. How does the monster propell the truck? It's some shark creature.

It's also too horifying looking for a kid's movie.

trailer voice
>this came out in 2008?

Delgo? LOL. It's likely they recorded the trailer very early in production, like maybe 1999 or 2000. It got delayed and took forever so it was 2008.

really wish this got released, it would have been schlock kino

Given the whole text about this movie, I wonder if that fella was threatened to just smile and feign gladness.