Peters body producing web is kind of nasty
It's like he is leaving bukake all over the city what is it even made of? At least if it is some chemical thing synthesized in a lab I don't have to worry about having it on my face
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better than a Tony Stark level genius only using one single gadget all the time rather than being more like Batman
thats why he invents other gadgets to help beat the bad guy of the week.
No reason to not carry them in his utility belt before getting his ass kicked again, he only fights the same 8 frickers over and over anyway
Eh.
Most of the time he will just throw some random object at the bad guy, he does not use inventions very often like Batman or Hank Pym or Reed Richards or Mr Terrific or Ozymandias or pretty much every character on his level. It feels like most writers don't even know he's one of the top 10 smartest scientists on earth.
>that one gadget does more than batman entire arsenal. I assume you're a fart level genius
That gadget does not even work on half of his villains.
Better than batmans track record.
Batman's arsenal are boomerangs and a hookshot most of the time.
It dissolves after an hour anyway.
I'd rather he just be a regular type of smart than a super genius. Smart enough to do well in school, but not smart enough to invent shit on the fly.
It being weird and nasty is part of the appeal
Why shouldn't he be able to produce web? He's fricking Spiderman.
Personally I want to see a version where the webs are coming from cybernetic implants that are underneath his skin
So you want him to be Kamen Rider?
Maybe, but I never thought of taking it to the full "give up humanity and become a full cyborg" direction
>run a DNA analysis on the web.
>track down Parker Peter
>kill him
It's kind of dumb though.
He's Spider-Man, but doesn't produce the web himself... so why is he Spider-Man?
Is it the super strength?
>Very common super power, no real association with spiders
Is it climbing on ceilings and walls?
>Many, many insects can do this
Is it the famous "Spider-Sense"?
>Spiders do not possess precognitive abilities
Night-vision?
>Most spiders cannot see well in the dark
Enhanced reflexes?
>Nothing particularly limited to or themed around spiders
Healing factor?
>Spiders don't possess noteworthy healing abilities
Super intellect?
>Spiders definitely don't have this and it's arguable that most Spider-people do
Camouflage?
>Some spiders use this, but it's hardly unique to spiders and they're not well-known for it
Hmm... So is the only thing that makes him "Spider-Man" that he got his abilities from a spider? Because... that's just really stupid. Whereas if he makes his own webs, while that's not 100% unique to spiders, it's something spiders are very well-known for, practically their signature, and would justify naming himself as a superhero after them.
And if the web-shooters don't require spider powers, doesn't that really mean anyone with enhanced strength and precognitive abilities could just put them on and be Spider-Man?
I don't know. The whole thing's just kind of stupid if you ask me.
>Spiders don't possess noteworthy healing abilities
They molt, but we don't see Peter doing that.
>He's Spider-Man, but doesn't produce the web himself... so why is he Spider-Man?
He got his powers from a spider. He would be Spider-Man even if his power was shooting lasers out of his dick.
Captain America got his powers from a serum. Should that make him "Vaxman?"
Maybe, but I imagine Vaxman wouldn't do great as 40s propaganda
>even if his power was shooting lasers out of his dick
Or becoming invisible
Or discharging electricity
Or creating energy weapons
Miles/Spin will never be the true Spider-Man.
>peter never notices the spider
>becomes shrugman
>Peter assumes that he was bitten by an ant instead
>Gets sued.
>What's your name, kid?
>Imissedthepartwherethatsmyproblem-Man
>Is it climbing on ceilings and walls?
>>Many, many insects can do this
You could simply point out Spider-Man "electrostatic" bullshit is very similar to Superman "tactical telekinesis"
>so why is he Spider-Man?
Because he was bitten by a radioactive spider
So Dr. Manhattan should be called Labaccident-Man?
You think you're being clever but this is a Kirkman-tier observation
He's an irrelevant dullard like you, one would think you'd respect him more.
Maybe make smarter observations if you don't want to be compared to Kirkman
Smart observations like "he calls himself Spider-Man because he got bitten by a spider and gained non-spider-themed powers as a result, then had to manually create the only spider-themed aspects of his hero persona so people would 'get it' ".
Do you not know what contrivance is? Or do you think it just doesn't apply because you like Spider-Man and thus can't accept any faults?
>he calls himself Spider-Man because he got bitten by a spider
That's just literally what happens. That's not a "smart observation" it's what happens in the book. By your logic the webs could also be attributed to a silk worm therefore they are not related to spiders at all and he has literally nothing to do with spiders.
I get that you grew up with the Raimi films but don't act like they're the only true version of the character
And by your logic, what I said wasn't an "observation", I was just applying the same naming scheme to another character that you argue fairly applies to this one, and you took offense to it and started throwing around the name of some buttlord you're obsessed with.
>silk worm
Thank you for contributing to my point, though I already talked about how spiders aren't the only critters to produce webs, but that they're best known for it.
>I get that you grew up with the Raimi films
Half-correct. They were around when I grew up. I watched them. Wasn't a big fan. The Spider-Man I grew up with was pic related.
>and by your logic, what I said wasn't an "observation"
It was. You thought that you were being clever by saying that all heroes should be named after their power source. That's you trying to make commentary on the nature of Spider-Man's name relative to his origin.
Meanwhile his name actually does come from his source of powers, which is my point
>Thank you for contributing to my point
Your point is that his other powers "don't count as spider powers" because they can be attributed to other animals. And by that logic web shooters do nothing to fix that. Spiders don't shoot webs out of their arms either, or is that where we arbitrarily draw the line on what does and doesn't make sense
>It was. You thought that you were being clever by saying that all heroes should be named after their power source.
If that was your interpretation of the point, you were mistaken. The point isn't that other characters should be named this way, it's that Peter shouldn't be. He named himself Spider-Man but his primary spider-related ability is artificial and was developed after the fact. It's contrivance. Deal with it.
>And by that logic web shooters do nothing to fix that.
Right, which is why I'm arguing that the webs should be organic. Glad we can be on the same page for this one.
>Spiders don't shoot webs out of their arms either, or is that where we arbitrarily draw the line on what does and doesn't make sense
If you're arguing that Spider-man should have spinnerets... then yes. If Spidey's web was organic, and produced by spinnerets in the abdomen, THEN harvested to use in his web shooters, I'd have less of a problem with it, because then at least the webs would be his power, and the shooters would just be a conduit for that ability.
>The point isn't that other characters should be named this way, it's that Peter shouldn't be
The point is that you think it's a clever thing to point out, just like Kirkman
>It's contrivance
You don't know what that word means. Peter named himself, and he did so because a spider gave him his powers. None of that is contrived
>which is why I'm arguing that the webs should be organic
But that wouldn't fix anything. Spiders aren't the only creatures that produce silk. What if they mistake him for a silk moth?
Here's the real contrivance: You've made up a problem in your head about Spider-Man being spider themed, made up a bunch of reasons why his current powers arbitrarily don't count, then again completely arbitrarily decided that organic webs fixes this imaginary problem
Miguel's literally half-spider so he has every right to call himself Spider-Man.
But he picked it to emulate Pete
I think it makes more sense for a SPIDER BITE that FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGES HIS BIOLOGY to make him be able to shoot out webs from his own body. If he has super strength and the ability to climb, what sense is it that he needs machinery to do what spiders can do with their own bodies?
>But the comics–
I don't care, it doesn't make sense, the comic industry is dead. Most modern Spiderman fans can't even name five things from the comics. It's over.
Exactly. It's just nonsensical and frankly dumb for his webs to not be a part of his natural powers.
It's a bit confusing yeah, just like how people assume his spider-sense is a 360 vision similar to a spider having eight eyes rather than a vague psychic ability with several different powers such as being able to predict any kind of future threat or shoot the weeb in the right place without even looking at the target
>just like how people assume his spider-sense is a 360 vision similar to a spider having eight eyes
Like Toph from Avatar?
>At least if it is some chemical thing synthesized in a lab I don't have to worry about having it on my face
If Peter is smart enough to invent an entirely new, totally untraceable chemical compound that can be stored in compressed canisters smaller than a AAA battery yet expands into literal square miles of hyper-resilient ultra-strong microfilament, then how the holy frick is this homie still poor? He sat down one day, invented web fluid, invented web shooters, invented tiny tracking devices, invented all kind of other wacky spider-themed shit, and he can't invent like a fricking flavoring additive or something to patent? Why the frick is he taking freelance pictures for a living? If he's so smart, how can he not figure out that there are thousands of companies out there that would pay him an insane salary to make use of his skills in chemistry?
Maybe he's just awful with business
But again, you can say "Tony Stark or Reed Richards could hire him" and yeah, I don't see any reason why either of them wouldn't want Peter to be on their companies.
On top of that, both Tony and Reed know he's Spidey so they'd definitely give him shitloads of flex time to go punch Vulture in the face or whatever. Everybody wins.
Unironically because he was a dumb kid who didn't know dick about business and the Scientists he pitched it to had little vision for a short lasting adhesive. Eventually Pete does go on to actually make his inventions lucrative but....status quo is a b***h.
>The only scientist that ever insisted on Peter joining their company was fricking Norman Osborn
>The only person to ever point out how it makes no sense that Peter is not massively rich is fricking Norman Osborn
>The only person to ever say that Peter is the most underrated genius in the world was fricking Norman fricking Osborn
Frickin' affirmative action, man.
>Spider-Man threads up
>The shitposting one is the one that gets traction
You fricks deserve every shitty thread you get
No one ever gives Miggy or the symbiote hosts or Ultimate Jessica any shit for this
I can understand disliking organic webs because they detract from Peter's intellect, but this just stupid.
Symbiotes are gross
Miguel's organic webs are gross
I really enjoyed The Other storyline and hated what Spider-Verse (the comic) did with it. There, I said it.