>quiet poignant moment
>*crinkle of chip bag*
>*crunch crunch crunch*
>*ACHOO*
>*whisper whisper*
>*SLURRRRRRP*
>*giggle*
>*crinkling intensifies*
>*cough cough*
>*SLURRRRRRP*
ahhh yes, this is just how film was meant to be experienced.
>quiet poignant moment. >*crinkle of chip bag*. >*crunch crunch crunch*. >*ACHOO*. >*whisper whisper*
>teenagers sit beside you
>laugh and chat amongst each other like they're at home in the couch
When I was a precocious teen me and my girlfriend would only go to movies to violently dry frick, we didn't even choose empty theatres we would just go hard regardless. Once we went to a big movie and had neighbors on both sides and I spent the whole movie with my face shamelessly plunged into her cleavage sucking and licking on the tops of her breasts. When I looked up both sides were gone and we only got more vigorous. I would fricking cum hard in my pants every time and simply walk out of the theatre with a massive wet stain in the front of my light jeans. Otherwise I would go with the homies and throw candy at the back of people's heads. Funnily enough I couldn't stand it when other people were disruptive though. Once a guy and his crew were doing the typical giggle giggle disrupting the movie getting dirty looks shit, and he randomly would flick on his lighter and hold it up and they'd break out cackling. Nobody was saying anything but you'd best believe I was no b***h and stood up real quick and told him to knock it off. Immediately it was a scene and he actually pulled out a knife. My friends got nervous and were telling me "bro chill" trying not to die but I threw my hot nacho cheese right in his fricking face. At the same time the movie theatre guys came in to restore order and he wasn't actually hard enough to use the knife in front of witnesses so they simply got escorted out while he kept swearing he would catch me in the parking lot. But I'm no dumbass and simply left by a back door.
>go to watch Top Gun: Maverick
>sit at the back row because I'm afraid of people
>it's me and a teenage couple
>after about half the movie its glaringly obvious that the girl is giving the guy a handjob
I hated and envied them at the same time. Really ruined my experience.
last time I went to the cinema alone some teenagers made fun of me for being on my own and the whole theater joined in until I left in shame, only to be arrested on the way out for supposedly planning to shoot up the place
Calm down GPT-4 you are getting too creative.
fricking zoomers. You're supposed to go to empty showings or at least a shit movie.
and they still won’t let you smoke
You can have a nice day in your own home. Just don't take other people down with you.
frick off greta
I would never want to watch a movie in a theatre in its opening weekend
>*SHITTING AGGRESSIVELY*
>Almost everyone is fat
USA, right?
And yet not even the pandemic could kill the stranglehold they have on new releases.
You're forced into these shithouses if you want to watch a movie, instead of chilling at home.
I partly blame Disney for getting too greedy with the streaming option.
>you want to watch this new release at home?
>sure, just give us 30$ just to rent it
>in addition to the monthly charge you're already paying, of course
Just release that shit on disc b***hes. I bet they're only comparing current rates of physical sales vs. movie tickets, not even realising that's because people already watched the movie, and if audiences had that option from day one then physical sales would see a significant increase.
you could just wait for it to come out on disc
>You should wait 2-6 months for the home release, trying to avoid having the story spoiled for you the whole time, and then have all the fricking ADHD zombies you're forced to live with react with "oh that old film?" when you try to discuss it after you finally do get to see it, all to subsidise a business model that would fail without enforced monopoly, because I don't care if my experience is good or not I just want to consoom the thing asap.
Get bent. Remove the monopoly and then let cinemas charge what they actually need to charge to be a viable business, then if you're enough of a homosexual that you need the "cinema experience" you can bear the cost of it yourself.
>he doesn't just pirate everything
Literally as soon as anything is released on streaming, someone rips it and uploads it to a torrent tracker or DDL site.
Just look at this dood.
>tfw your life goal is to become a beachball.
>NOOOOOOO THERE CAN’T JUST BE SOUND IN A ROOM FILLED WITH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE NOOOOOOOOOLOLOLOL
How autistic do you have to be to be bothered by this
I rarely go anymore since I can see everything for free when it goes on streaming the day of release. When I do/did go, it was always the first showing of the day, during the a weekday. It was always just a handful of older people in their 40s and 50s there trying to enjoy time away. Pretty great actually.
>go to see Wall-e with a chick back in the day
>11 am on a Tuesday
>Nobody’s in the theatre
>Going to finger frick and watch kino >Movie starts
>Theater doors open
>thirty kids come in from a school or daycare or something
>do a 360 and leave
I've developed a technique over the years where I only eat or move during the commercials or during loud points in movies(fight scenes, explosions etc) I made the mistake of taking a woman to the kinoplex and she looked at me like I was deranged because I'd stop eating the second the noise dropped below a certain decibel
I went to a movie with multiple friends and one of them just wouldnt shut the frick up I kept whispering at them to shut the frick up and they just wouldnt. I asked him later why he wouldnt shut the frick up and he denied he was saying anything, why do people do this? Why are you fricking LYING?
this is why I don't buy any food or drink when I watch a kino
They should just ban food in cinemas and serve booze instead, it's quieter and people would enjoy the film more.
last movie i saw in theaters was Xmen days of future past. i will never go back
>some dude eatin' beans in front of me
Go a couple weeks after the movie comes out. Preferably in the afternoon or late in the evening. There, solved your problem
all me
i only go to movies on a very specific set of circumstances:
- late at night
- towards end of movies time in cinema
- alone
- no food or drink
only this way can a true connoisseur like myself enjoy the film
I just don't go on the weekends and don't watch teenagers goyslop and i'm fine
>some morrocans talking too loud trying to look for a fight
>that attention depraved guy that loudly pops open his beer bottle
>people coughing like the pandemic is still in full force
>women pointlessly scrolling through their apps
>that guy that brought food that smells through half the theatre
Ahh yes the dutch cinema experience.