Retire? From what? I already don't do anything now except surf the net, why should I pay for that? Besides, I really like the coffee here.
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Retire? From what? I already don't do anything now except surf the net, why should I pay for that? Besides, I really like the coffee here.
Wally had the right idea. Currently working a job that repeats in phases, so every four to five months I'm just restarting the process and doing it again. The amount of youtube I watch at work is disgusting, and I'm trying to figure out if people would kill for this job or kill themselves in this job.
I do little more then browse Cinemaphile and /k/ while listening to whatever new genre of music is my favorite for the week interspersed with audiobooks. I'm on Chillwave right now, last week was Barber Beats, before that was Psychedelic rock.
>Barber beats
Sounds like it is the cutting edge of hip hop
Please, don't insult me
>I'm trying to figure out if people would kill for this job or kill themselves in this job.
Both tbh. Office jobs pay way better compared to wagie work, but the sterile, grey environments, phony corporate culture and lack of agency all become depressing after a while
I've been work from home for 2 years. Maybe 3, they kind of blur together.
Some days there's 2 hours of work to do and then the rest is just replying to the odd teams message. I watch a lot of shows with my girlfriend during work hours.
Honestly, the 40 hour work week is a relic of the beast, at least with white collar jobs. You could probably cut the work week down to 20 or 25 hours tops and not lose anything.. A while back there was some paper published saying that the average office worker only does 3 hours of real work a day and the rest is just goofing off, lunch, "meetings" and reading emails
*relic of the past
I prefer relic of the beast lol.
YOu know, three hours does sound about right when it comes to "actual" work. There are some days where I have to bust ass and I'll go hard from 8AM to 5PM, but the majority of the time I'm rocking 3 hours or less depending on where I'm at in my job cycle.
I think the secret to reallly look like you're doing something when you're really doing nothing is to invent your own projects. If you have a significant amount of downtime and don't want to just surf the internet until somone notices, make a small independent work task. One, it shows "initiative" lol. And two, it's something that could theoretically keep you busy for as long as you're working on it. My favorite projects include:
>Writing protocol for others to follow to "stupid proof" a task.
>Write down stupid shit you had to learn on the job that wasn't written down anywhere else.
>Or one of my favorite things to do is just bust out a textbook and start refreshing myself with stuff (even if I don't end up doing anything with it).
THere's an art to it, but once you've found your style work can potentially become easy street.
>Writing protocol for others to follow to "stupid proof" a task.
>Write down stupid shit you had to learn on the job that wasn't written down anywhere else.
I did both of those, plus meddling with data that no one wanted to touch (various inventory). You can spend a lot of time looking for odd stuff, finding skeletons in the closet and marking them, writing a few queries. Every now and then I mention a skeleton and the bosses know I am looking to improve the data. When they want to know something, I run a query, wait for an hour or two, then hand it to them and they are impressed because the others would have done it by hand.
And when we got a newbie, I tasked him with stupid proofing processes as an educational tool, then would spend a long time checking it. You just look for the stuff he missed, correct some spellings, then pass it to the higher ups as "Asok and I reviewed these processes.
So the secret to getting away with doing nothing…is to do more work?
I am not doing nothing. I do easy work that allows me to look like a lot of hard work is getting done while watching youtube and kills the time.
It's about finding work that is simultaneously easy, mindless, and necessary. It may get a bad rap, but gruntwork is a fricking phenomenal way to look like you're busy while you marathon movies in the background. I actually sign up for busywork because I know no one else wants to do it and therefore I look like a huge teamplayer despite the fact I'm going to use it as a mini vacation.
True. There's very little work needed to sustain a company.
3 hours of actual work a day is generous
this is why remote working was such a blessing for a lot of people. Work for ~1 hour, then do frick all for the rest of the day, but at home instead of a shitty grey office.
There's no fricking reason we don't still all work from home. I have to drive almost 40 minutes to my office which is about $20 (and growing) in gas there and back, every single day.
LET ME FRICKING WORK FROM HOME. I'M TIRED OF GIVING THE SAME ROBOTIC GREETING TO EVERY FRICK I HAVE TO MEET IN PERSON. I'M TIRED OF SPENDING $400 A MONTH ON GAS. I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO USE THE SHITTY OFFICE BATHROOM TO JERK OFF
I still work at home and I shouldn't, I do frick all work.
>become depressing after a while
just don't be depressed lol. that just means you are taking your career seriously enough to care about the lack of agency. just do the bare minimum and then switch jobs when it becomes unbearable or they're on to you. this is assuming you make sure to have a fulfilling life outside of work which I know is hard for some people but that is a very personal failure and I don't have sympathy for them
This show was ahead of its time
I'm in semi-retirement at age 29 working from home for the government. Wally had the right idea, truely ahead of his time
How do I become a Wally?
Find a chill office job that you can streamline most of the moving parts. It helps when the people in charge have no fricking clue what your job actually entails so if they were to get rid of you, they'd be fricked until they train a new person which would take 3 months easy. Provide regular updates even if they're basic as frick. As long as you stay on their radar, deliver, and look presentable, you could probably coast by on 30% effort without anyone looking your way. I'm still capable of going 100%, but those situations are only when I need to look good.
So fricking true. Kid me didn't get it. 33 year old me is floored by how much it relates.
>So fricking true. Kid me didn't get it. 33 year old me is floored by how much it relates.
King of the Hill is the same way, it's another show that gets better that older you get.
What did he mean by this?
You see, cheese pizza is code for cp and CP stands for child pornography.
He's telling him to download child pornography.
Why do I get the feeling people lie about browsing YouTube/listening to podcasts all day? You switch places with them and try and do it, and you find out someone is constantly on your ass.
Probably because you don't do it right. Also you can't start off doing that on your first day.
I work the overnight shift at an in home care facility
I only have 2 clients and they sleep the majority of my shift
The pay is just okay, but I literally get paid to play videogames and sleep
I think the trick is still getting work turned in at a reasonable time. Also ask questions that indicate you are thinking about your work in a meaningful way. It's all about appearance and why they think you do rather than what you actually do.
Correct, you do the work, but you finesse it so that they think you're working much harder than you are and that the work is much more difficult than it really is.
Also correct. You have a shitty boss and need to figure out how to work the system best.
Sounds like you have a bad manager tbh, I've been doing office work for 5 years and can confirm that there's a lot of downtime and none of my bosses ever cared
I work third shift stocking shelves and use headphones the entire night. Its great work if you can stand the strange hours.
speaking of time to go to bed
I've worked here for 5 years, and have a provable record of delivering good work when needed.
For two years now, since work from home started for the coof, my line manager hasn't had a clue what I do, so I just drift from project to project as I feel like it. No one questions when I say I'm busy on something else. Occasionally I'll pick up something high profile for a couple of weeks and do something to impress one of the execs.
You couldn't just walk into this position, but having established it work life is so easy.
The trick is to convince them you are absolutely on it, getting shit done and in the zone so they leave the room. Three days later you hit them with "unforseen difficulties" like client not picking up the phone or waiting for developer of something (anything) to fix a "potential security vulnerability".
i unironically did like 30 minutes worth of actual work today
the rest of the time i watched tv, cleaned the apartment, did laundry, cooked food
work from home, regular office job
It bugs me more when I find out some homosexual "automated" his job using his L33T programming skills even though he admits he works an unskilled pencil pushing job that any monkey can do. Then they usually gloat that they do more than their other coworkers and their bosses never ask questions and just let them do whatever. I've read this story 30 seperate times.
The only time I've ever gotten away with shitting around on the internet was when I was a security guard making barely above minimum wage and had to sit at a desk doing nothing. 70 hours a week of just sitting on my phone wedged between the keyboard and mouse because they had cameras pinned on me the whole time to make sure that *I* was watching the cameras.
I love to surf the net! Anybody else?
Literally me.
A show by a midwit for midwits
it was a cartoon on cable television. not exactly a high standard.
god I fricking love this show
Office jobs sucks if you're efficient or find a groove. Say I get paid 100usd a day to finish 50 widgets. Cool. But I'm efficient so I can do 75 widgets a day. Boss man says nice job and now expect 75 widgets a day at no extra pay. Say I "slack" off and do 50 widgets a day like my coworkers. Boss man mad says I'm lazy and now I got a warning. I'm not an automaton and neither are you if you're on this Yugoslavian Harmonica Repair Forum. I don't know how office workers don't an hero or go postal. And I didn't even go into the high school tier cliques every fricking office has.
That's why you never give them 100% starting out. You give them the minimum necessary to do an adequate job and you adjust from there. I t took me a while to figure that one out and only after it blew up in my face. My boss got too fricking comfortable with me being an efficient worker that they tried to saddle me with too many fricking projects that when I burnt out, "I" was the problem. Fricking c**t.
>And I didn't even go into the high school tier cliques every fricking office has.
I could seriously teach a full fricking course on office culture and the bullshit hive mentality and power heirachies you have to navigate. Fricking shit show.
I think you should have a nice day, Dilbert.
>all these office worker sissies ITT
Kek. Nobody "works" from home. Get a job where you actually create things.
>being proud of being a wagie
Nah, I'll take 80k in wage theft and concentrate on my personal life instead. By the way, I said no cheese so I'm going to need you to create me a new burger.
and yet you live with your parents
Actually I live with your mother.
Fricking gottem
My favorite bit is the free soda one
>boss say due to budget cuts, the company will no longer provide free soda
>Wally says there is no free soda
>the boss explains that everyday, he'd go into the break room, and every day there'd be a soda in the fridge, and every day he'd drink it, and by tomorrow, another one would appear
>but the company won't do that anymore due to budget constraints
>Wally says he'd brought a soda to work ever since he started, and he'd leave it in the fridge, and everyday, by lunchtime, someone had stolen his soda
>the boss pauses for a moment to digest this
>then he asks Wally why he just doesn't drink the free soda
i want to have sex with kristina! but you have to be a multimillionaire and it costs half your net worth!
>tfw all I want is some dull, boring, braindead shit pay office job but even that I can't get
I definitely couldn't either normally. I was a full loser, 8th grade dropout, neet with no prospects, but my aunt got me into her office part time to do some infantile garbage, and I guess they're all moronic because they were impressed enough to hire me on full time.
You can make it too, anon. Just get really lucky.
Finally, a thread to relate to
>Show up an hour late
>Browse my boards and watch baseball videos
>Lunch
>Sign a form
>Browse my boards and watch baseball videos
>Go home 20 minutes early
I'm on my off Friday today since I "work" an extra hour all the other days. I actually need to figure out how to actually make more real working time, I can only stare at memes for so long.
Just pick up a language or something, studying it while there.
Looking for a job isn't about finding a passion, it's more like looking for the least annoying way to survive. If I could find a job that paid me just enough and left me alone and gave me to time off I'd take that.
I really wish high-skill high-paying part time jobs existed. My choices are between part time low wage, full time low wage, or full time high salary. I really only need $40k or so, including ebough for investing. Going into business for yourself or independent contracting would be the best way to do this I guess, but it's tough in my field.
Creating your own business really is the only way to go. There's no such thing as real raises, bonuses or even benefits anymore in the modern workplace.
they did such a good job casting the characters. I still read Dilbert comics in those voices.
Sometimes I wish I had an office job. It sounds almost like you're continuing school. Like the boss goes over a PA and announces birthdays.
Meetings are just assemblies where you frick around with your friends while your teacher/boss yells at you.
Parties, field trips, and free periods.
Every other job its the same from start to finish everyday regardless if it's christmas or not and you're basically beaten like a chinese sweatshop worker.
I'm at "work" right now. I have an infinite spreadsheet of numbers to call and contacts to confirm. It's the most repetitive, brain-dead job imaginable, probably no joke requires about 80 IQ to perform. But I can hit my call quota in like a third of the time they expect me to so I just bang out all my calls and spend the rest of the time "working" on cleaning the house, personal projects, napping, shitposting... it truly is the life.
My c**t prostitute boss switched my team from doing everything out of a shitty public excel to a Monday board, and now they can track exactly how many forms each employee sends out per month. Have to actually do work now, God dammit
What is the best "at home" job for people without business, accounting or marketing degrees?
Sick of the wage game. I want to go on disability for my (actually medically diagnosed) Autism, but I got rejected, last time. I'm tired of being laid off or threatened with termination because I am "too slow."
You could put on girl's clothes and stick a dildo-tail up your ass and become a camgirl(boy).
No degree or experience necessary.
Unironically, I have too much testosterone to pass off as a twink or trap, & I'm too old.
Oh yeah, that'd make it tough.
Why can't you just get a bachelor's then? Or even an associate's at least. You probably don't even need to major in business. Lot of places just want you to have any kind of degree.
I just graduated, I'm 25. Because of covid my class had the largest amount of graduates, something like 3x more than average.
My field isn't popular in my current city (Ottawa) and the city I'm expected to move to where all the jobs are (Toronto) is so fricking overpriced that everyone is moving out rather than in. I've had job offers for me to go there but I couldn't fricking afford 1 month of rent living in a basement with 5 other bachelor's, so that's just off the table.
The only thing I have going for me is the opportunity move to California for a seperate reason. Otherwise if I had to live here is kill myself.
Toronto is such a shitty place to live, but California wouldn't be much better. It's also very expensive in many ways. Rent is probably not quite as bad as Toronto, but only because they have some of the worst rents in the world. California definitely is up there, and right now gas prices are going through the roof there. Much more so than the rest of the US. And being that far removed from family/friends is usually more rough than you'd think.
The one bright side I'd have to say though, is it's a lot easier to get by hating the place you live if it's not your home than if it is. Much less depressing.
I'm actually marrying my long distance gf and moving in with her family with exceptionally low rent to the point I'm basically living there for free. Canada is not just stupidly expensive, you make frickall money. So it's compounded into barely getting by. But I hear you
Say what you will but you take for granted living in a warm climate. I can't fricking stand winter and if I never see snow again I'd truly be happy.
>the opportunity move to California
lol. lmao
The most wonderful words your boss can say to you on your first day are, "If you finish your work early, you can leave and still get paid for the full eight hours". If you find a job like that then you dig in your heels and never leave. It makes such a difference on your mental health to have a concrete goal every day instead of a clock to wait out.
My software engineering remote job is so easy that I am wracked with guilt whenever a friend talks about how they actually work. Also, it feels too good to be true and like the rug will be pulled out any second. But on the other hand I get my work done by 10:30am and have time to clean, cook, lift, play with my pets, and watch anime.
I got a cozy office job where you could put in maybe an hour of work every day and the boss would be happy. However, my c**t co-workers constantly tattles to our supervisor about "improving" the workflow which only increases our workload and benefits the management with nothing of value trickling down to us.
Why the frick are normies like this
You probably work with women.
Women ruin everything.
That's right. And one lanky feminist dude who is perhaps even worse than a female.
>"NOOOOO YOURE SUPPOSED TO HATE YOUR AIR CONDITIONED COMFY COMPUTER JOB YOU HAVE TO QUIT RIGHT NOW!"
Why are normies like this?