>Smashing the other team by 100 points. >Some tard catches the golden snitch. >+150 points

>Smashing the other team by 100 points
>Some tard catches the golden snitch
>+150 points
>also ends the game
what kind of uckign SPORT Is this
Women CANNOT invent a sport oh my lord

  1. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    It should just be a double multipler of your current points.

    So if the opponents are more than 2x in the lead, you still lose.

  2. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    No seriously, why do Americans worship black people?

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Callings nigs criminals isn't worshipping them.

  3. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    IIRC Rowling wrote the rules to quidditch with the explicit intent to annoy dudes because her ex was a big divegrass fan.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I've heard that it was written to take the piss out of over sensationalised sports, but that could be apocryphal

      >it's nonsensical on purpose!
      The classic cope

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        It definitely sounds like an excuse some fan came up with and got accepted, so unless someone has a source I'm inclined to agree.
        Same thing happened with the supposed quote that a muggle with a gun would beat a wand, which turned out to have never existed but is still accepted as fact.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >LITERALLY haha I was just pretending to be retarded

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Dean had tacked up a poster of Viktor Krum over his bedside table. His old poster of the West Ham football team was pinned right next to it.
      >“Mental,” Ron sighed, shaking his head at the completely stationary soccer players.

      So this is why there are all those derisive comments about football in the books...

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        And you can be sure she added a transvestite in her last novel because trannies pissed her online.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >instead of writing something cohesive to the world I'm creating, I'm gonna create something spitiful to real life people and inject it in the fantasy world
      Seems womanly enough

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        iirc Rowling has done this a lot. There's at least one character modeled after some girl who was mean to her in middle- or high school

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          yes, the pajeet twins

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Snape was inspired by her chemistry teacher

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >being this salty about your ex

      I don't think I would write a book a dedicate half the book to trashing Say Yes to the Dress. Why do women hold grudges?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >divegrass
      Is that supposed to be football or rugby?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Neither, soccer.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Divegrass = soccer
        Buttfondle = rugby

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Luckswing = baseball
          N*****crash = football
          Apehoop = basketball
          Snowsoccer = hockey

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            >Apehoop
            what the fuck is wrong with this board
            >babboon bounce
            >monkey dunk
            >moronball
            all in circulation for years

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Rowling is a salty resentful cunt so am pretty sure this could be true.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Fake

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Interesting that the game ended up being a metaphor for the rest of the story then

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >I’ll ruin my own book to show my ex
      Woman logic so plausible.

  4. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >nuuuu buh buh Hawwy potta is supposed to be the chosen one that has skills far beyond most professionals.
    >proceeds to accident his way through every game.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Is he? I never got that

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >nuuuu buh buh Hawwy potta is supposed to be the chosen one that has skills far beyond most professionals.

      He's not

      He's just the kid Noseless Chose

  5. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    But flying on brooms is priceless.

  6. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    It should just end the game, or give like 20 points and end the game, no reason for it to be worth so much, makes the entire game pointless when in 90% of cases it's actually just down to 2 players

  7. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Lots of people show up excited for the match
    >Catches the snitch in one minute
    >Sorry folks, it's over, no refunds!

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Or worse, expelled!

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      its part of their game and they fully expect it, chud sodomite.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >buttmad harry potter fan
        >calling someone else a chud sodomite

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Isn't the snitch Released later on in the game?
      I haven't read the books in ages but I swear it was stated somewhere.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        No but it fucks off and hides for most of the early game.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        No, but most snitches are much, much faster than school issue ones

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        you are thinking of how somewhere in the middle of matches they start shouting that the snitch has been "spotted". not released. it gets released at the start with all the other balls.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      It's a world with instantaneous travel. It's like it's that big a time commitment to go to the stadium.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      That could happen in any fighting match as well, see Snatch

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      did you ever watch boxing?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      its almost like MMA!

  8. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Are you stupid or something OP? It’s hard as fuck to catch the golden sneed. You have to have eyes to see it and then arms to grab it! I bet you think every one is just so lucky to have both. What a racist incel. Jannies clean this shit up

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      What's more impressive, catching a snitch or a hole in one?

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        A hole in one

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Even if it is, the game only ends if you catch it. It's not a rare event, it has to happen once per match.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Then why not just train your whole team to chase the snitch?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Cause only one player is allowed to.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        then you get donkey dicked in points and it doesn't matter if you catch the snitch because when you catch it you will be 400 points down

  9. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Id love to be the guy whose role is to beat the shit out of the adversaries. What the fuck was Rowling thinking?

  10. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    The Snitch should be worth 150 points, but also end the game.
    There, fixed the game.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      it already does that

  11. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    That defeat made him rethink his life choices and improve. Thank you, Harry Potter!

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I prefer the seeker before Malfoy. That kid was a cutie

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >closed smile in the second pic

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >England vs Great Britain

  12. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >game ends immediately after the snitch is caught
    yeah awesome i love coming down to the quidditch grounds to watch a 3 minute game

  13. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    i feel like anyone looking at the game for more than 5 mins would change their team structure like so. teams would be more restructured into goalie formations and snitch chasing formations. since catching the snitch is both the buzzer and gives so many points that regular goals dont matter, snitch chasing should be the priority. defense would triple up to defend the goal and once they do get the ball, theyll just fucking run with it in circles to waste time.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Good point, why cant the goalie catch the snitch if it comes near him? If he let's a goal in who cares

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        its actually in the rules that only seekers can touch the snitch, but the point of snitch chasing formations is more to defend the seeker from attackers during their chase

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >since catching the snitch is both the buzzer and gives so many points that regular goals dont matter
      When games can canonically last days (as retarded as that is) I can easily see someone falling behind by 150 points if you're sending your Chasers off looking for the snitch

  14. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    According to Rowling you only hate the rules because you're a man.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Ah, the Ghostbusters 2016 defence.

  15. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    It symbolizes how pointless and petty competitive sport looks like to average woman.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      >how pointless and petty competitive sport looks like to average woman
      As it should be. Women shouldn't be seriously invested in sports and the ones who do have something wrong with them.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Women don't like sports they only pretend to be into it to either impress their bf/dad or fantasize about the players

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          >they only pretend to be into it
          Yeah, you are right. They pretend to be in a lot of stuff because of male attention or because they like a guy.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Women don't like sports they only pretend to be into it to either impress their bf/dad or fantasize about the players

        Women play sports. A woman is better at sports than you are.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Why do women get BTFO by trannies?

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            cause trannies are male athletes unlike you

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              >cause trannies are male athletes unlike you
              Wow. Reported to the twitter police. Have fun getting fired and ostracized for your clever little retort, hope it was worth it.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                wow I can be as based as Rowling herself?

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                Rowling avoided the axe because she has a horde of fans behind her, you aren't that lucky. We already found your social media accounts and through it your parents address, we will hound your parents and relatives until they completely disown you, everyone you know will know how much of a bigot PoS you are. Your life is over, chud.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                She deserved it all and more just for writing Harry Potter

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Dishwashing is a sport?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        *Nobody should be seriously invested in sports and the people that are have something wrong with them
        ftfy

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          gay, you shouldn't be invested in movies made for children, or movies at all

  16. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    How fucking hard is it to write a game that makes sense? Even if you're not a sportsball fan, all you really need is common sense. Quidditch seems almost intentionally bad. Anyone with any common sense should understand that TEAM sports need to be about competing TEAMS. Or else why would it be a team sport? Quidditch would be exactly the same game if it was just two seekers looking for the snitch.

  17. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I think one way these rules could make sense is if in professional quidditch you normally see big swings in the score multiple times in a game. This is hinted at in the video game Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup, where you can score multiple times in one possession. I imagine a normal chaser formation would be to have two chasers attacking the goal rings and the third chaser floating behind the goal rings ready to catch the quaffle as it flies through and either throw it back to their teammate in front of the goals or fly around themselves to score again. The problem is that in all cases but one we read about amateur quidditch played by children between 10 and 17 years of age, and in the one professional game we read about there is much more scoring than occurs at Hogwarts.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Remember Harry also has a super expensive professional quality broom.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Wasnt there some rule about not bringing your own broom but somehow Harry is allowed to circumvent it?

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          no, malfoys parents bought him and his whole team nimbus 2001's

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        So did the Slytherin team

        So did the pros

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      The explanation I heard is that Quidditch games used to last weeks, with scores going easily into the thousand. So the snitch +150 points was just a nice bonus but nowhere as determinant. But then brooms improved a lot and catching the snitch became easier and easier with game becoming shorter, and they never updated the rules to account for it.

      It's obviously a tentative to justify the nonsensical rules, but it makes a certain amount of sense.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Read the same in a fanfiction, so I made it my headcannon. Better than "it's retarded on purpose!"

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        JK rowling really think men just play sports forever until someone wins, somehow

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Cricket matches last 3 to 5 days with about 6 hours played per day

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          >JK rowling really think men just play sports forever until someone wins, somehow

          occasionally happens in baseball

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Read the same in a fanfiction, so I made it my headcannon. Better than "it's retarded on purpose!"

        The fanfic I read says that the sneed was obviously invented for some prince or other spoiled brat in the past who must've sucked at the game but wanted to be the winner

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        I think one way these rules could make sense is if in professional quidditch you normally see big swings in the score multiple times in a game. This is hinted at in the video game Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup, where you can score multiple times in one possession. I imagine a normal chaser formation would be to have two chasers attacking the goal rings and the third chaser floating behind the goal rings ready to catch the quaffle as it flies through and either throw it back to their teammate in front of the goals or fly around themselves to score again. The problem is that in all cases but one we read about amateur quidditch played by children between 10 and 17 years of age, and in the one professional game we read about there is much more scoring than occurs at Hogwarts.

        I think the quiddich apologists are even more retarded than Rowling
        She simply made it that way because she thought it made good twist in her story

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Basically the entire point of the sport is something the gary stu main character could be instantly good at and basically win the entire game by himself.

          She probably didnt know she was gonna have to keep writing about it.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      The explanation I heard is that Quidditch games used to last weeks, with scores going easily into the thousand. So the snitch +150 points was just a nice bonus but nowhere as determinant. But then brooms improved a lot and catching the snitch became easier and easier with game becoming shorter, and they never updated the rules to account for it.

      It's obviously a tentative to justify the nonsensical rules, but it makes a certain amount of sense.

      It also makes a lot more sense if you assume fouling is a much, much bigger part of a professional game that just isn't allowed at Hogwarts.

      The game stops for a free throw every time there's a foul, and you can use this to stop someone from chasing the snitch, because that happens in one of the matches in the books. So if you view it more as chasing the snitch=forcing a foul most of the time then the game becomes about the fitness and endurance of your players, the ability for players to keep an eye on the seeker and be prepared to foul when they go into a chase, and the seeker position is about baiting fouls by pretending to spot the snitch and being very sneaky about actually catching it.

  18. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I've heard that it was written to take the piss out of over sensationalised sports, but that could be apocryphal

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      IIRC Rowling wrote the rules to quidditch with the explicit intent to annoy dudes because her ex was a big divegrass fan.

      This is JK we're talking about here. There's no way she's that "clever". I bet she thought it would genuinely be a fun concept when she came up with the rules.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Its the kind of game that sounds clever until you look at how it works. Like its a game that only ends when someone does something to make it end, so theoretically it gets dramatic because one team could try and keep the game going until they've dug themselves out of a hole, pointwise. It just doesn't work that way because either the game ends super fucking quick like a shitty MMA fight, or some fucks just keep running up the score because the game never ends.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          The explanation I heard is that Quidditch games used to last weeks, with scores going easily into the thousand. So the snitch +150 points was just a nice bonus but nowhere as determinant. But then brooms improved a lot and catching the snitch became easier and easier with game becoming shorter, and they never updated the rules to account for it.

          It's obviously a tentative to justify the nonsensical rules, but it makes a certain amount of sense.

          So there's no fixed match time? You MUST catch the snitch to end the game? If so, that's even more retarded than the point system itself.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          iirc harry does do that, he has to wait until they've scored enough before he catches it

          [...]
          So there's no fixed match time? You MUST catch the snitch to end the game? If so, that's even more retarded than the point system itself.

          one of the books mentions a game going on for about a month

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      given the quality of the writing overall and just how much of it is derivative *without* any hint of satire or self-awareness, I think you're giving her an awful lot of credit.

  19. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    on a scale of 1-10, how cringe is this?

    ?t=257

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Even more cringe since they got cucked into changing the name, and now look like absolute retards without even having the IP to leech off

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Let me guess, they changed the name not because of copyright reasons (since it only happened fairly recently and irl quidditch has been a thing for like 20 years now) but because they hate Rowling now?

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Bingo

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Bingo

        They should re-tool the sport to be less cringe now that they're not piggybacking off the HP franchise. Make it more dangerous and get rid of the snitch. Just turn it into cycle polo with lacrosse sticks or whatever.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      the sticks make it cringe

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      10. it's like the worst possible intersection between the intramural ultimate frisbee fags and harry potter fans.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Are they required to have a certain number of girls to compete?
      Even if its a dumb sport men would dominate women in it

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        they changed their name from quidditch to quadball because JK didnt love chuds enough.
        take a wild guess as so whether or not holes are required on teams

  20. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    In the early books, the entire wizarding world is portrayed as a whimsical goofy place where the rules and culture are supposed to seem "off" by normal standards. And the characters have names like Borkfaffer Mollycrimbles. Why do people single out quidditch? It's like complaining that Willy Wonka's factory doesn't make sense.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Millennials are incapable of not taking their childhood media seriously

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Because the silliness of most other shit gets toned down, but quidditch remains unchanged and relevant right up until book 6

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      The whimsical goofyness gets progressively more explained, but quidditch was so set in stone in book 1 that she couldn't backpedal and remained goofy even when the world was structured later on

  21. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >the equivalent of quidditch in a shitty russian PARODY series is better, more interesting, more fun, actually has coherent rules, takes a much bigger part of the story, very often story relevant, is exciting and tense, and gets more variety with every entry
    How would JK ever cope if she found out?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Tana Grotter and the magic contrabass
      How have I never heard of this?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Only 1,000 copies were translated from Russian and published in Europe due to copyright issues.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      how about you post them then you drunken rape monkey?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      The best part is Russia is FULL of these HP knockoffs (Tanya Grotter is just the most popular) and every single one of them is better than HP.

  22. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >try to slam your balls into 3 different holes but who gets the snatch wins
    good writing kojima

  23. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >do a nice deed
    >1000 pts to GRYFFINDOOOOOOOOOOR!
    WINS HOUSE CUP AFTER RIDING ROUGHSHOD OVER THE PRIOR SEMESTERS WORTH OF DEEDS, ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND EDUCATIONAL TRIUMPS

    >Catch a Golden Orb
    >150pts
    WINS THE QUIDDITCH GAME AFTER RIDING ROUGHSHOD OVER THE PRIOR 59MINS OF SCORING AND ATHLETICISM

    Im sensing a pattern in how JKR writes

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Remember that points in Quidditch matches gets directly translated into house cups points, so nothing stops two squads from agreeing to not end the game untill they are 10k to 10k remove the other two from House Cup competition

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        It's all arbitrary anyway. If they abused it too much the teachers of the other houses could just hand out a million points for a correct answer in their class or something.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >HOWEVER
        All fun and games until Dumbledore comes along to give Gryffindor 10K points, or subtract 10K points from the houses gaming Quidditch for cup points.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          It's all arbitrary anyway. If they abused it too much the teachers of the other houses could just hand out a million points for a correct answer in their class or something.

          Yes but at that point the House Cup becomes so evidently arbitrary even 11 years old will just stop caring.

  24. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    If your team is behind you don't catch the snitch and instead try to stop the other seeker from catching, duh.

  25. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Good game tho

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      how did the game handle the broken snitch mechanics?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Was a long time since I played it so might not remember correctly. Scoring for goals and the snitch are the same but scoring goals fills a meter that when they connect the snitch chase starts. The meter represents how much of a speed boost each seeker has in the chase. Snitch is still mostly the determining factor but scoring goals does have a purpose. If both fail to catch the snitch the game resumes.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          oh, so the team in the lead has a much better chance to catch the snitch so there won't be any upsets?

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. It's still 150 points but it's very hard to catch it without having the lead

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          DUDE i Used to play the fuck out of this game when I was a kid!!!!

          Good game tho

  26. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Game on a time limit
    >Snitch worth 50 points
    >if caught the timer gets cut in half
    there fixed the game

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >catch snitch
      >MULTIBALL MULTIBALL MULTIBALL!

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >BLEEEEEERRRRRRN

  27. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I remember reading it at the time and doing the math in my head over and over because I couldn't make it make sense.
    They were fun to read at the time though. If you read them at the time you have to admit that.

  28. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    What are some good fictional sports?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Podracing

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, that's a good one.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Kohlii

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Based

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Turd mass competitions

      Every man on the planet has had a turd he was proud of

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        pretty true NGL
        I made one last month and had to stand and admire it for few seconds

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      That one from the fucking bionicle movie.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Kohlii

        Based

  29. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    *destroys the /misc/ argument*

  30. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    It was supposed to be a parody. Rowling didn't expect retards to take quidditch seriously

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >puts something in a book
      >readers point out how stupid it is
      >lololol it's not meant to be taken seriously
      When authors do shit like that it completely undermines their entire story. What should be taken seriously then?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Rowling (and likewise many other people) doesn't take sports seriously.
        I mean think about it. Grown ass men running up and down the court to throw ball in a basket. Fucking retarded.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Yet it still has a set of rules that when explained don't immediately bring up a glaring problem about game play.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Quidditch was supposed to be a parody of real life sports. It's also a book for children.

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              >it's a book for children
              Nice cop-out.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                keep seething over children's book

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              I remember identifying the flaw in Quidditch when I was a child reading the books as they came out.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                it's almost as if it was explained in the book as well.

  31. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    It's a kids' book and I loved watching the broomstick riding scenes as a kid.

  32. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    i knew you fags were watching harry potter. hahah

  33. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    The golden snitch thing is only there so harry can be the most important guy on his team

  34. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I fucking hate every single sport that takes longer than 10 minutes for a match to conclude
    I mean why the fuck do so many people sit 90 minutes in front of a TV watching dudes kicking a ball?
    unless it's a long race to test people's endurance no sport should go for 90 minutes

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >I fucking hate every single sport that takes longer than 10 minutes for a match to conclude

      I bet your woman has the same opinion

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        not really, most women I know pretend to like sport because it gets them attention, one even once told me I am not masculine because I do not like football, yet it didn't even sting, I cannot think of anything more masculine than acknowledging I do not like gay sports, I will not pretend to enjoy something just to fit in, I can watch an entire kino in the span of one match.
        whenever anyone tries to talk about football to me I just come out clean and say I don't give a shit about it, it's like blasphemy to say this in my europoor shithole but whatever

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Indifference is fine. You can give zero fucks about it and still "get it". The issue here, that makes you womanly, is that you don't seem to be able to "get it". Might as well be a castrated male.

  35. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    How to fix Quidditch
    >Snitch is worth 50 points
    >Game is over after the Snitch is caught 3 times (any combination so could be 1 team getting it all 3 times or 2-1 split) or after 60 minutes of playing time, whichever comes first
    >Snitch is in play as soon as the game starts; after the Snitch is caught it's not released for another 10 minutes to prevent tunneling and force teams to try to score/prevent goals; while the Snitch is out of play Seekers can play any position they want

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      How to fix Quidditch I
      >Chasers don't exist
      >Keepers don't exist
      >Quaffle don't exist
      >Scoring don't exist
      >There are six Beaters
      >Beaters can hit other beaters and the seeker

      Done.

  36. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    the adults watch the sport to see kids injure themselves, a favorite passtime for wizards

  37. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Snitch is woth no points but Ends the game
    >the entire role of the seeker is to end the game when their team is winning/stop the rival seeker from catching it while behind.

    There I fixed the game.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      this is a pretty shitty addition, the snitch is very hard to catch, there's no way you can catch it all while keeping track of your team points so you don't end up catching it at the wrong moment, that constant hesitation makes this pointless

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >there's no way you can catch it all while keeping track of your team points so you don't end up catching it at the wrong moment

        They have an announcer that shouts out the score regularly to the entire stadium, It would be very easy to keep track of the score.
        And that would be part of the excitement, do you risk trying to catch the snitch while only a few goals up and loosing or wait for a bigger lead (and the chance that the opposition turns it around and starts winning instead).

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        This applies equally to the rules as they are currently.

  38. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    You guys are missing the point.

    The whole point of Quidditch is that it's stupid and has stupid rules because wizards are stupid. Not to defend Rowling because she's a hack but it's all about wizards being silly, nothing else.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >it's stupid and has stupid rules because wizards are stupid
      true. this is why I want a wizard/muggle war.

  39. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Quidditch?

    MORE LIKE QUITBITCH!

  40. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    If you think that's cringe, you should see the Quidditch chants from the books.

    You can just feel how embarrassed Stephen Fry is reading them in the audio books

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Post em

  41. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    In Goblet of Fire why did the seeker of the losing team grab the snitch, ending the game and securing his team's loss?

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      It was explained. He knew his team was out-fucking-skilled, so it made sense for him to end the game quickly before they got crushed even more.

  42. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    There's like a million things wrong with the Potter franchise. Everything is so inconsistent.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      If there's million things wrong, you won't have a problem naming seven of them, right?
      I'm not disagreeing, just curious which ones grind your gears the most

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        something as powerful as time travel being used only to attend classes

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          How can be closed loop time travel utilised better than that?

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Like saving buckbeak but not harrys parents. You could turn back time with 100 wizards to ambush voldemort outside harrys house but it's pointless to discus because closed loop time travel is paradoxical.

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              You can't change the past.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                Dumbledore with a time turner could have.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                He couldn't.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            The fact it's explained as a closed loop it's a hack move. What's the fucking point of them existing, then?

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        Voldemort killing Harry but still not becoming the owner of the Elder Wand

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          That just made me think about the deathly hallows in general, and it occurred to me that Dumbledore could easily have reunited all 3 of them in book 6
          >has the Elder Wand because it's his wand
          >has the Resurrection Stone because it was in the ring that turned his hand black
          >Harry has the Invisibility Cloak which Dumbledore gave him back in book 1
          Literally could have finished the series there and then.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        The Weasley being poor as fuck and needing hand me downs in a setting where people can conjure stuff by moving a stick

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          The Weasley’s were a pure blooded, centuries old wizarding dynasty who, despite dozens (if not hundreds) of members receiving the exact same elite private school education as every other witch and wizard in Britain, FOR FREE: had accumulated nothing and achieved nothing.
          Arthur also worked at an analogue to a government department of funko pops and was a joke even among his bureaucrat peers. Meanwhile Lucius "Chad-Blooded" Malfoy worked at a private firm and lived fabulously.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          how the fuck can their be poor wizards when you can literally transmute poop into a tuxedo? what does it really mean to be "poor" in the wizarding world? apparently you can transmute food, so that has to be provided for on your own or traded for, but surely there is magic to assist in growing food? living in a dingy, rickety house and wearing ugly garments that were knitted two generations ago is a choice in that world.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            >can transmute food
            can't*

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              You explicitly can trasmute food. The rule is that you can't create food from nothing. You can still do a Jesus and multiply what you have, or turn a log into a full course meal. Yes it's absolutely arbitrary and dumb as fuck.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                can you think of an example? my personal expert in HP pilpul has assured me multiple times food is off limits, or that it turns back into whatever it was in your body or something. I don't know either way, I've just been trolled over it.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                >"It's impossible to make good food out of nothing! You can Summon it if you know where it is, you can transform it, you can increase the quantity if you've already got some."

                It's literally a quote from Hermione.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                >that it turns back into whatever it was in your body

                That's just Fanfictions trying to fix plot holes. I think Hardy Potter and the Methods of Rationality did that. There is nothing of the sort in the actual books to my knowledge.

                interesting. I appreciate HP as fun books for kids in a wacky setting, so I don't get butthurt about the inconsistencies, but it's weird that Rowling would go to so much effort to get real world dates and historical weather correct, but not really write in more ways in which the wizarding world would be significantly different from the normal one. it just makes wizards all seem very stupid, backwards and lazy.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                >that it turns back into whatever it was in your body

                That's just Fanfictions trying to fix plot holes. I think Hardy Potter and the Methods of Rationality did that. There is nothing of the sort in the actual books to my knowledge.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                >turns back into whatever it was in your body
                Fanfiction and not on the books, by some nerds

                >"It's impossible to make good food out of nothing! You can Summon it if you know where it is, you can transform it, you can increase the quantity if you've already got some."

                It's literally a quote from Hermione.

                >You can Summon it if you know where it is, you can transform it, you can increase the quantity if you've already got some.
                In the books, by Hermione

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          I know I am headcanoning but I can only think that "poor" in the wizarding world is an entirely different concept. It doesn't mean not being able to eat or being homeless. Hell, the Weasley's have a big house and ample land, and enough food to feed a large brood of children. What they don't have is lots of guilions/wizard money, and as we see, that is not something that can be replicated with magic and it's even out of the hands of wizards, instead being controlled and regulated by goblins. Perhaps there are things that can simply not be created by magic, or rather can only be created by specialised magic. For example, maybe making a decent broom is difficult, which is why we see that there are shitty pleb brooms and then top tier ones like the firebolt. Sure, anyone can enchant a thing to fly, but it takes a specialist to make the real article, and the specialist will only accept gringots/goblin currency. Basically, expertise/craftmanship regulates the market entirely rather than physical resources and energy being the issue.

          I also expect that there is just a lot of class snobbery, with people being born into high class wizard estates compared to those who are lower born. That is a similar thing to how one can win the lottery but never buy themselves into the upper class. It's simply an inherited thing. The Malfoys are nobility, the Weasley's are plebs, and thus even if they are both equally materially well off, the former will regard the latter as poor people.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            >anyone can enchant a thing to fly
            As proven by Mr Weasley that enchanted the Ford Anglia and made it 10x times better than flying in a broom for long distances

            • 6 days ago
              Anonymous

              Better for flying long distances because it is a car with a roof and comfy seats, but in terms of speed and agility I think the artisan crafted brooms are still better, or I would guess at least.

              Weasley still don't have basic clothes

              Yeah it doesn't really make sense but once again if I had to explain it away I would say that this refers mainly to the school uniforms and if so it is kind of like irl Britain where you can buy a generic uniform for pennies but most schools require you to buy the official/approved uniform for that school, which can be exorbitantly expensive. Maybe Hogwarts robes simply can't be replicated and are expensive so that the Weasleys are forced to make their children wear hand-me-downs.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                Ron didn't have the clothes for the Yule ball and had to resort to old as fuck hands me down. It's not limited to magic school uniform (and even if it was it would be still dumb, the uniforms are never shown to be magic and Hogwarts has literally hordes of Elves with magic that can make them).

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not saying the uniforms have to have magical properties other than being official, I'm just saying that if wizard society is that snobby maybe there is some sort of magic seal of authenticity like how irl official uniforms have the school badge on them, and maybe this cannot be replicated. There might not be any practice or real reason for it, but then neither is there irl.
                >Ron didn't have the clothes for the Yule ball and had to resort to old as fuck hands me down
                But yeah... I can't explain that one. Why they can't just magic up a suit I have no idea. Like I say I've basically been headcanoning explanations to make things less retarded. Once again the only explanation I can give is snobbery and that maybe suits made from magic, or not by specialised magic tailors, are seen as tacky and therefore even a hand-me-down is better? But like you say, there is no indication of the clothes having magical properties so unlike the uniforms maybe required to have a seal of authenticity, I doubt even snobby wizard school would make it law for other clothing to be similarly authentic.

                At the end of the day, Rowling is not a good worldbuilder.

              • 6 days ago
                Anonymous

                How conjuration of items works is mostly unknown, my headcannon is that conjured item will always be like a cheap chinese knockoff.
                But the quality of them would depend on wizards skill, like Dumbledore can conjure a full cushioned armchair while ordinary wizard barely manages a regular wooden chair

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Weasley still don't have basic clothes

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        The Weasleys having the Marauder's map and never addressing Peter Pettigrew sleeping with Percy for a couple years (Untill he got an owl), and then in Ron's bed for 3 more years.

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          Peter just living as a boys rat is a weird thing in itself.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            This. There was absolutely no reason for him to do that. Just leave fucking England if he was really scared about getting found.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            How did he end up with the Weaslys anyway?

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Peter living is a boy's rat.. on Hogwarts that has a fucking OWLERY, and also OWLS ARE OK TO HAVE FOR STUDENTS
            And also CATS
            Literally 2 of the 3 animals allowed to have on Hogwarts eat rats

  43. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    it's just a plot device to make mary sue potter look even better

  44. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I just watched a Quiddich match from the first movie to refresh my memory and Snitch is far from the most retarded thing about the game, there are pretty much no rules for foul play as Slytherins are literally attempting to murder their opponents and no one says anything, basically you can just focus on physically taking out your opponents until your team is the last one standing.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >there are pretty much no rules for foul play as Slytherins are literally attempting to murder their opponents and no one says anything
      Wizard world is brutal, brah. Don't forget we are talking about a school that has a tree that flattens kids to death, holds a tournament in which kids are fed to dragons and repeatedly put in life threatening situations, and is bordered by a forest full of deadly creatures that could easily kill any student that wanders into it, with no physical barrier to prevent them doing so. They aren't in the same mind as muggles- mortal threats and injury are not taken as seriously.

      Also it's worth remembering that they can literally regrow bones and shit, so anything bar death is on the table for a sports game. I'd also add that irl, rugby is pretty much as brutal as Quidditch and the UK has a long history of extremely violent sports where basically anything goes. I've talked to rugby lads that openly tout how they aim to gouge out the eyes of opposing players.

  45. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Smashing the other player, up a queen, two bishops and a knight
    >Some rook moves and checkmates my king
    >I lose and the game ends
    What kind of game is this where the person with the least numbers of pieces can win?

  46. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    It's just a mechanic to give the protagonist a special role

  47. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    To be fair, there's some strategic options added by this. If you end the game early by catching the snitch you can win the game but lose the tournament. So in a way it's not just about getting those points, it's about ending the game at a strategic point in terms of the overall tournament. Yes I know I am clutching at straws

  48. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    The point is for the 10 year old children who are the target audience and self insert as Harry to feel like they're the center of the universe. And adults too. In fact all of HP makes sense if you're familiar with bongoloid private school culture. It's the only time in bongs' lives when they're remotely relevant or have anything to live for, so they cling to that time in their lives with a pitbull grip.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >It's the only time in bongs' lives
      Just to hol you up for a second, it's only a very small minority of rich toffs that go to boarding schools anymore. Most kids here probably don't even know they are a thing outside of Harry Potter.

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        private=/=boarding muhammed

        • 6 days ago
          Anonymous

          ok but even so private school is still only for a few rich kids, most kids still cannot relate. You act like this is common to British kids but most British kids go to schools that are more like madhouses.

          • 6 days ago
            Anonymous

            Those kids are the ones who read HP so they can fantasize about being there

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Understanding bongs adds a lot to the overall understanding of Harry Potter
      >Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the world, works for the government as Headmaster of Hogwarts (it's funded by the Ministry)
      >Harry, the most famous wizard in the world who is talented and famous and rich enough to do whatever he wants, chooses to work as a wizard glowie for the wizard FBI despite the Ministry's long history of incompetence and fucking him over
      >as an American think it's odd the best and brightest in the wizarding world aspire to government wagecucking because here government work is for lazy incompetent fucks and midwits and worthless diversity hires with a handful of power hungry reptilians and ~~*fellow whites*~~ at the top
      >eventually realize it's because the British prison island dream is working a government desk job

  49. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    I read somewhere that Warner Bros is planning more movies as well as tv shows for HBO max. Rupert Grint said he's been in talks to return in one of them even, perhaps a sequel where the original cast plays their older selves now that they're around the age the characters are in the epilogue.
    Do you think there's gonna be an extended universe similar to what's happening with GoT? Would Rowling agree to that? Do they even still need her permission? What would you like to see?

  50. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Harry Potter is absolute dross, but quidditch is fucking kino.
    The 'one catch and it's yours' rule is what makes it based. It's basically 9-ball pool but for men

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >quidditch
      >for men

  51. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    >YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE HARRY
    >AND THERE ARE FOUR HOUSE FACTIONS YOU GET TO GO TO THE HERO PROTAGONIST HOUSE
    >AND YOU GET TO BE THE SPECIAL POSITION ON THE SPORTS TEAM THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE REST OF THE TEAM COMBINED
    >AND YOU WON THE BIG GAME AGAINST THE EVIL VILLAIN HOUSE
    When you step back it is pretty dumb.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      >children's book

      • 6 days ago
        Anonymous

        >It's okay if the writing is shit, it's a children's book
        This argument doesn't work no matter how many times you say it.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      Doesn't he lose some years? Get's raped by dementors during a game.

  52. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    Quidditch may be an unbalanced sport, but you certainly don't need a play-by-play to recognize its precisely balanced teamwork in catching the proverbial snitch, that is, creating the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

    Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

    >a-at least the books were good though
    "No!"
    The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

    I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

    • 6 days ago
      Anonymous

      I was waiting for this
      >Great Gatsby
      >God Tier
      You are an ignorant and a retard

  53. 6 days ago
    Anonymous

    So. Why isnt Obliviate, the forgetting spell, spammed in everyone? Like,
    >forget youre a death eater.

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