Star Wars

You laughed at us.
We told you the ST was the dark timeline and you laughed at us.
Welcome to the new timeline motherfrickers. Ezra saved Ahsoka in this one and we're all going to be riding high because of it.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    fine let Mandalorian be the new timeline, at least we wont know where things end up. Will have to kill off Leia offscreen and Ford will never bother

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Mandalorian
      fetch quest: the show
      >i have to go here and get that
      >this will allow me to go there and do the other
      >which means i will then have to go.... and get... to do...
      >HEY LOOK IT'S CHI LUKE
      >EVVYBODY MEMBA LUKE?
      >DO THE TELL
      Fricking boring.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Fricking based Space Western
        Being such Low T, you wouldn't understand.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >watching Star Wars for an interesting plot

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I watch Mandalorian to see Din shoot people.
          But by the force do I hate Pedro.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The new timeline will also be shit, anon. It's made by the same people, why would the result be any different?

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If they retconned a whole trilogy that would be pretty epic.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >retcon
      No not 'retcon' just.. alternate timeline. Haha. See? Not retconned.
      >just barely acknowledged ever again
      I hope OT gays loved the ST. It was made for them after all.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I hope those OT gays got what they deserved for insulting my HECKING prequels!

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I loved the PT and the OT. Watched them in numerical order the same day when I was a kid. Feel free to seethe though about how Kid Vader ruined your heckin childhood or Jar Jar just made ya want to kys.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          why do they have a spoilers warning what the frick is there to spoil

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >posted 4 years ago

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        When JJ said he wanted to do a movie 'for the fans' he didn't mean 40 year old convention-goers. That was just bullshit to avoid saying 'George's ideas sucked & I didn't want to play second fiddle to that fat goy anyway' and 'we need to make zoomers buy our shit, can't make back $3B pandering to neckbeards'.

        I hope those OT gays got what they deserved for insulting my HECKING prequels!

        The prequels were ass.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wonder if Rey will crossover into this timeline.
    That could be good.. or bad.
    Depending on if she's actually written at all this time and not just.. there.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Time travel, different universes, shit like that all feel extremely un-Star Wars in ways I can't even articulate. They just do, like someone learning a magic spell in a Terminator movie.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Un Star Wars
      Has been a thing, was a thing in the EU zoomie. Do you even lore?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I'm 34, read Star Wars books all throughout school, was pretty into the lore before Disney blew it all up. I don't recall any time travel, alternate universe travel, etc. And honestly, I don't really care if you pull The Crystal Star out of your ass, it doesn't change anything about what I said. Someone releasing a Terminator tranime where John Connor starts shooting fireballs out of his dick and summons a pegasus doesn't make it feel any less like Terminator.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >alternate universe travel
          Did you forget about the higher dimension beings that Leia encounters in a moon she crash landed? Seriously, I'm not fricking with you

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That Alan Moore comic is kino, but I don't think it was canon.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >A shape! I've thrown a shape! I've invented form! I've invented mass! Oh, cleverest Tilotny!

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Frick the EU.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >t. Kathleen Kennedy

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Reminder all nu wars is homosexual shit

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That's because NuWars is just more EU homosexualry by another name.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          still better than Marvel...I mean Disney Star Wars.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            My favorite thing is how Kathleen Kennedy said they had no source material to draw from and then they literally pulled Clone Palpatine out of the EU story.
            Where did their failure bring them?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Time_travel/Legends

        >Only canon time travel is people travelling to the future through hyperspace

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >time travel Multiverse homosexualry
      It's inevitable because the same people own and work on every franchise. They'll run out of ideas.

      Captcha - 0NGASM

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry, anon. I find it hard to give a shit. Gave up on the Mandalorian halfway through the first season.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    All of nu Wars is the "dark timeline" and the ST will always be a part of it. The ST will NEVER be retconned.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It will be and when it does I expect you to kneel and suck my wiener pretty bot.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        No, they will keep giving you false hope, but it will never happen. You deserve to be laughed at.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Still not watching

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Frick Disney. But people who act like the EU didn't have some extremely off-brand, moron moments can get fricked too.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >people who act like the EU didn't have some extremely off-brand, moron moments
      Good thing those strawmen you made don't exist.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I mean the anger youtubers act like that. I know they're pretending but pretending to be moronic doesn't make you less stupid

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    wheres my kyle katarn movie

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Kyle Katarn always was and always will be trash. His games are good, but the character himself is EU of the time personified.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      In 2022? Right here.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Rogue One (2016)

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't care about this shit unless I get to see her fat orange clam.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    There have only ever been 4 good star wars movies

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      3,4,5, and 6?

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    One of the benefits of casting Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka is that Rosario Dawson has done full frontal nudity, including a fully visible vegana. Because Rosario Dawson's body is now the canon body for Ahsoka in the milf stages of her life, we have now also seen Ahsoka's canonical vegana.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Her slit is longer than her head tails.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You should write a wookiepedia entry about it, because that's canon.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Has anyone shooped that Rosario Dawson nude with Ahsoka's head tentacles and orange skin?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I've seen a few attempts, but none that pass my quality requirements. I'll stick to art of Ahsoka sucking Barriss' toes and getting her lekku sucked in return, for now.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          ...link?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Not them but take a Ahsoka x Barriss pic from me friend.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I shooped her as a teenager from that one movie, just to show what CW Ahsoka would look like. I actually don't find mature Rosario all that hot, but she would have made a got teen/tween Ahsoka.

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >I know multiverse killed comics and is killing the Marvel franchise, so, what if we implement the same idea on the Star War franchise?

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Star Wars Multiverse

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Once again, Star Trek fans are malding.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a Trek and Wars fan, both sides are just beaten down and tired, a man hanging by his wrists in a torture chamber while the israelites approach with another hot poker.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Didn't read. .

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Lol its so creatively bankrupt they're blatantly stealing from other franchises.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >lorelet exposes themselves yet again
    lol every time.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >/wars/ you were right about me. Tell your sister you were right.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Blessed

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Heh.

    [...]

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This, it's a complete monkey's paw and Filoni will open the floodgates that will destroy Star Wars even more than he and Kathleen already have.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        how is this any different from canon tiers in the EU
        everyone sane just picked what they liked and discarded what they didn't to form their own preferred canon I don't see how this multiverse thing is any different

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Because the difference is when the EU was good it was really good.
          Nothing Disney has made has been good.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            there's plenty of good stuff in new-eu, the fact that you have a personal vendetta against all things disney doesn't make it impossible for them to occasionally make good content

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              There's plenty of mediocre stuff in Disney canon.
              Nothing has actually reached the level of being good.
              I don't have a vendetta, it's just the truth.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Its just popular to shit on Disney, the one time Cinemaphile follows the popular path. Ironic really.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >one time
                fricking please, this place is as hive minded as reddit ever was

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Did you ever stop to think that maybe they get shit on because nothing they make is good?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              have a nice day mouse shill

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Examples? Please, I'm being genuine. The closest I've come to liking the new shit is the Mandolorian. Things like Kenobi as a genuine embarrassment on the brand.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            When JJ said he wanted to do a movie 'for the fans' he didn't mean 40 year old convention-goers. That was just bullshit to avoid saying 'George's ideas sucked & I didn't want to play second fiddle to that fat goy anyway' and 'we need to make zoomers buy our shit, can't make back $3B pandering to neckbeards'.

            [...]
            The prequels were ass.

            You lost Rian, get over it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        ?t=4
        It was actually opened a while back Rebels has a whole arc about force gates that let you travel in time. The kid hero of the show saves Ahsoka's life the the last second by pulling her through one just as Vader canonically would have delivered the finishing blow.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          In fact, if they do go with OPs multiverse shit, this will likely be the 'moment' that created the Mandoverse/Filoniverse. The STverse would be where Ahsoka died, so Luke never met her, Mando never got Yeed to Luke, and any other changes her not being alive would cause.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Revan bros, we will have a true master of the force on screen!

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Even Disney is so embarrassed by the new trilogy that they want to erase it and try again? Sounds fake.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Didn't read.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Can't wait for the Rick and Morty cross over

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      do you not understand that not all multiverses are the same universe

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There is literally no reason to not to expect the hack writers at Disney to cross over Guardians of the Galaxy, Rick and Morty, and Star Wars, and any number of other properties. The multiverse creates a carte blanche where they can do anything and everything, even if the most likely scenario is they keep retconning what happens between RoTS and ANH for the next two decades.

        Honestly, it would be stupid for them not to do it since it would easily rake in several billion dollars no matter how stupid the plot. It's not like what they're going to make will be any better or worse. Any possibility of artistic integrity and expression in the franchise left when Lucas sold it.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I want a Star Wars movie where Darth Vader ends up going through a wormhole when he spins out at the end of the first movie then winds up in the same universe 50 years later and just wrecks shit.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Can anyone explain why they are pushing the idea of a multiverse so hard in practically every form of media now?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It beats trying to attract fans to completely new characters living in completely new worlds; that's risky and hard work.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Because Rick and Morty is popular.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      1) They are out of ideas and unable to create anything original 2) They have successful multibillion dollar franchises they want to milk for everything it's worth and 3) They are following the source material since comic books already had mulitverses and crossover clusterfricks when they ran out of ideas and failed to generate anything original

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Trying to get the masses used to the idea before ~~*they*~~ reveal that we are living in a real life multiverse

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Don't care.
    Didn't ask.

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Literally who cares anymore? Star Wars is dead until they reboot the Disney era.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I swear I seen homies write better star wars stories on Fanfiction.net then Disney. You literally homosexuals defending them choke on a dick and die. Watching Disney destroy the show I loved turned me off on star wars I stopped giving a shit.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >That scene where she's completely nude.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      If only we could get Katee and Rosario to act this out

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've never seen a gimmick become old as fast as this multiverse/alternate timeline shit, it's fricking obnoxious how they want to force this garbage everywhere.

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Being more like Star Trek is the best thing Star Wars can do at this point honestly

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This was set up in Rebels (and to a lesser extent, TCW under George Lucas)

    The planet Mortis, which has a deep connection to the Force and where time runs differently.

    Dagobah was also retconned into a similar planet, but to be fair I don't mind it because the retcon was to explain why Luke seemingly got months of Jedi training over the course of ESB when it should have been days.

    Mortis in TCW establishes Anakin as the one true Chosen One and was the first place Qui-Gon was able to reconnect to the living realm. This was all under George Lucas.

    Then in Rebels, the addition was made that in the world between worlds, connected right to Mortis, there are gateways where you can see the past.

    Now the catch here, is that it was NOT presented as time travel in the traditional sense. In the episode, it's presented more like Prisoner of Azkaban rules - That whatever happened, happened - just some elements happened out of linear order. (IE; Ahsoka always survived her fight with Vader, as we see her at the end of Twilight of the Apprentice - we just didn't know she survived because Ezra fricked around outside of time and things happened out of order)

    So does it indicate a timeline split? No, but the door is always open for the easy retcon if they get desperate, and frankly I wouldn't blame them. I know Filoni has started to get a bad wrap here and some other places, a lot of the times seemingly in bad faith to taint Disney further, but his stuff is the only Star Wars that consistently feels like real Star Wars, warts and all. George wasn't perfect either. But TCW, Mandalorian, and even Rebels have felt like true Star Wars to me, and the further away from George and Filoni DIsney went, the worse it always got.

    So whatever he does with the Ahsoka show, I bet it'll be better than the ST and even the Kenobi mess.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't bother laughing at star wars movies, simply put every single one disney bullshit or not has put me to sleep.
    Grandparents have outlasted me on disney and otherwise boring ass star wars movies. You suck, deal with it.

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How could I laught as such bullshit when it put me to sleep in the first place?

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