>2023 AD
>STILL no cinematic experience of the over 4000-year-old Sumerian epic.
Something like a 3+ hour epic historic film like Troy would work, but more stylised and mythologic like 300 or something. I guess it's just too based for current society.
Gilgamesh is a chud so you can't make a movie about him
He's gay though, so the progressives would like that.
No he's not
He fricked many women and was based enough to turn down a goddess who was arrogant enough to think Gilgi wanted anything to do with her. His relationship with Enkidu only shows that, even since the beginning of time, men knew that it's bros before hos
Just make more Spider-Man and Batman movies
>makes them gay lovers
it's just the blueprint for what became the standard template for all modern storytelling ie the hero's journey. literally watch anything that involves a monomyth archetype (star wars, the matrix, dune, back the future) and you're immersing yourself in gilgamesh.
But it doesn’t have the kino Mesopotamian aesthetic.
a literal adaptation probably wouldn't work though so you gotta go the allegorical/metaphor route
Extremely stylized mythological 300-esque route would work as well I'm thinking, narrated by some guy who's not Gilgamesh.
what makes you say that?
There's no director alive that could even handle this kind of a film
i'd rather have a Big Short-style moneybro movie about this guy
"That guy" isn't Ea-Nasir, it's a statue of a random worshipper of Enlil
No one said anything about Ea-Nasir, maybe this guy just really wants to see what this random worshipper was doing financially.
very well
*blocks your path*
It's honestly worth adapting to film just to be the the first one to do it rather than necessarily being a financial success
>hero rapes a bunch of women
>refuses sex with a literal Goddess level women
>prefers the company of hairy men
>the secret or immortality is everyone else dying around you until you're the last one standing
Uh, yeah... Kino?
I haven't actually read it
>hero rapes a bunch of women
Unironically his right as king and being two-thirds god
>refuses sex with a literal Goddess level women
Ishtar's former lovers all befell ill fates. Also she's a dirty bawd
>prefers the company of hairy men
Enkidu pretty much becomes his brother, Gilgamesh's mother even adopts him.
>the secret or immortality is everyone else dying around you until you're the last one standing
The secret of immortality is that only the gods can grant it, but immortality can be achieved (of sorts) in other ways (your lasting legacy)
>>hero rapes a bunch of women
>Unironically his right as king and being two-thirds god
honestly the "lord's right of first night" legend is probably based on a misunderstanding of prostitution. the rich guys were fricking everyone's daughters first by paying the fathers off, then the girls had to get married in a hurry.
>hero refuses the advances of a literal Goddess of Thots making her eternally seethe
Yeah I’m thinking based
>refuses sex with a literal Goddess level women
It's an allegory of STDs
ILTAM ZUMRA RASHUPTI ELATIM
Herc became a full god upon his death
Gilgamesh? More like Bilgamesh LOL
that is the original sumerian name yeah
Americans probably think Sumerians were black
They'd just make it gay
This is good if you're into Sumerian anime:
UD REEEEEEEAAAAAAAA
UD SUUUURA REEEEEEEEEAAAAA
This already exists
though the visual novel was better
cringe.
Does real life Gilgamesh have Ea? Didn't think so. Get owned, troony.
looks gay, go back
>trannime
Fate franchise is the most gayest shit I ever seen
I'm trans btw, didn't mention in this post but felt I should bring it up
I know you are a troony anon no need to say it
Thanks, I really just hate the fate franchise and I think it's so gay, which is why I, a transexual, am torn
Good seethe more, fate will always be shit
are you also transexual? I would love to meet fellow transheroes who also hate the fate series. You love DBZ so you must be trans! wanna share discord links?
>fate homosexual still seething
Seem like acting like a gay is the only thing your good at lmao
cope, troony
Never you fate troony gay
This has got to be bait
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the tablet in OP appears cracked and missing tons of words. Seems like there was a lot of fan fiction for Gilgamesh.
It spans multiple tablets
the story of gilgamesh has a few different literary works the most known one is a later akkadian version. But it is believed to originate from earlier oral traditions iirc
you can thank the christcucks for that, they intentionally destroyed the missing tablets because they couldn't handle any literary work older than their israeli israelite book
Would Gilgamesh have punished that bloody basterd Ea-Nasir?
>Enkidu fricked the temple harlot Shamhat for two weeks (solid)
>Enkidu probably around ~15 feet tall
Imagine how fricking stretched her c**t would have been after than railing. It would have been like fricking a fairy for him
Did you know that Fate has trans characters? And they are all heckin valid!
Yes hello is this the Ea-nasir thread?
>the copper component in electronics comes from its original founder Electronic Arts (EA)-Nasir
>STILL no cinematic experience of the over 4000-year-old Sumerian epic
is that because it would illustrate Judeo religions and myths can all be traced to/all ripped off from it?
It's literally gay lol. Get a better translation.
you wish, troony
>It's literally gay lol.
but enough about Fate...
Take it back.
Impressive.
Enkidu was a real one RIP my hairy homie
I like the one where Enkidu goes to the Underworld
>Get told to not eat, drink, curse the gods and abuse your dead wife and child
>Proceeds to eat, drink, curse the gods and abuse his dead wife and child
We need more historical kino in general. Apocalypso tier stuff
Theres no real egyptian kino either
For me it's Ishtar aka Inanna
WHOOORE
for me, it's tranime weebs killing themselves
Ereshkigal is superior netherworld goth waifu
May her underwear always be dirty
Why doesn't Gilgamesh have an adoption?
Has there ever even been a project about it, or has it never been brought up?
don't tempt me
>yeah uhhh this gigachad king hears about this feral gigachad and tames him by making him have sex with a woman for a week
>then some other stuff happens I guess