>There's only one God ma'am

>There's only one God ma'am

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >and his name is Bill Gates

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >"There's only one god, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that"
    >fat black woman yells "AMEN TO THAT, CAP!"
    >black guy on the other side of the theater shouts back "Preach it, sista!"
    >my entire row (apart from me, obviously) stands up and starts improvising a song about praising the lord and captain america
    >realise I managed to sit in the middle of a Gospel choir
    >once they finish they song (towards the end of the Thor/Iron Man fight), I sigh as loudly as possible and leave the theater, slamming the door behind me.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >on Holiday in America
    >go see Avengers
    >Thor and Loki have a fight, and Cap America goes after
    >"There's only one God Ma'am, and I'm sure he doesn't dress like that"
    >Standing ovation
    >Somebody shouts out "FRICK YEAH AMERICA"
    >people clapping for literally 15 minutes before it settles down
    >can't watch the film.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This homie literally works with Thor

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thor is an alien

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So is israelitegod

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He said God not god.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Those movies proved he's just a larper.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He’s talking about Thor

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's God and a god.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Summer 2012
    >Visiting cousin in the states
    >We decide to go see the Avengers
    >Theater is packed, I find this weird because the film had been out for two months by this point
    >We sit somewhere in the back, giggling as the front rows fill with overweight people barely able to fit in their seats and a few in fat people scooters
    >The film starts, things go relatively well until we get to that scene
    >The theater gets suspiciously quiet, I don't know what's about to happen but I can sense something coming
    >"They're basically gods", the pilot says
    >Our theater's audience is waiting with baited tuna breath
    >Captain America appears
    >"There's only one god, ma'am..."
    >Already a few people start hooting and hollering
    >"...and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."
    >Uproariously, the theater breaks out into applause and cheering. There are women weeping and men saluting, children dancing in the aisles.
    >Some douchebag wearing a fedora takes out a guitar, and begins to strum it along to the tune of "God Bless the USA"
    >The entire theater joins in unison, acting like it's Whoville at Christmas, waving flags and holding hands
    >The projector suddenly stops the film, and a few minutes later, some old patriotic film begins to play. It was one of those old sing-along reels, this one with the National Anthem
    >I suddenly realize, it's 4 July
    >We're trapped, in the back, no way to escape as they sing all the verses of the National Anthem for 9 minutes and 11 seconds
    >Some kid begins to shoot off fireworks in the middle of the theater and destroy the sprinklers
    >Entire place goes up in flames, we barely make it out alive

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >visit theatre in england
    >see the European Localized version of "Avengers"
    >Captain Manchester says: "There's only one queen, ma'am. and I'm pretty sure she doesn't dress like that."
    >whole audience roars while a bunch of fat people down front with bright colored scarfs, facepaint and flags start chanting
    >"CHEERIO CHEERIO CHEERIOOOO"
    >god save the queen starts playing
    >huge riot breaks out
    >blood and lager everywhere
    >didn't even get to see the ending
    >start to actually miss the clapping

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >watching avengers
    >capt america on the helicopter
    >"there's only one God, ma'am, an---"
    >BOOOOM, my ears start bleeding
    >the clapping and cheering goes supersonic
    >lose consciousness

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    saw the avengers in amerilard land with friends on vacation
    >"there's only one god ma'am, and he do"
    >never heard the end of the line because of clapping, some stood clapping
    >heard a yessiree
    >giant black woman seated in front of me loudly MMHHHMMM'd and mumbled something I now realise was u kno dats rite

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Went to see Avengers with some bros
    >Watching the film
    >Everything going well
    >Get to the infamous line
    >"There's only one god ma'am, and he doesn't dress like that"
    >One guy gets up and starts clapping
    >No one joins in
    >He sits down after a while

    It wasn't even in America, what the frick

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Watching Avengers in Austin
    >"There's only one God ma'am"
    >Some guy in the audience "Hell yeah"
    >Half of the audience start clapping
    >Another guy starts running in front of the screen with an American flag
    >USA USA USA USA

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Watching Avengers in Dubai
    >"There is only one Allah, ma'm. And he doesn't dress like that."
    >the theater erupts in a deafening "luhluhluhluh..."
    >everyone gets down on their knees and starts praying to Mecca
    >a woman with her angles showing gets doused in a bucket of acid
    >a man runs up in from the screen, screams "ALLAH AKBAR!", and explodes
    >structural damage too great to watch the rest of the movie

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nobody in my theater did anything funny

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >watching Avengers in theater
    >"There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."
    >the sound of hundreds of capes swishing simultaneously overpowers the soundtrack of the movie
    >entire auditorium breaks out in atheist rhetoric, shouting scientific facts about fossils and figures regarding the deaths caused by religious conflict
    >I squeeze through the hairy, red-faced mob, tripping over fedoras tipped so hard they fall to the floor and slipping in the angry virginal sweat of all these basement dwellers
    >I struggle to breathe as euphoria clouds the air
    >finally make it to the exit door and notice the sky has gone dark
    >look up to see God turning his back, realizing He could not refute their opinions or suppress their intelligence and wicked senses of humor
    >the world is left to the wise atheists who knew better than to ignore a line of dialogue in a Marvel movie

    Bravo Joss.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >see avengers in 2012 with my friends
    >only theatre open is downtown in brown town
    >whatever lets go anyways
    >walk into theatre, literally only whites in there
    >blacks are hooping and hollering about. Some are walking up and down the aisles trying to sell mix tapes and knock off Jordan's like ballpark peanut vendors, while others frick their side b***hes violently in the rows of seats, taking snapchats and Kiking their homies
    >i try my best to ignore the jibes and handfuls of popcorn being thrown at us by blacks as me and my friends make our way to the middle of the theatre
    >as we sit, a large black pokes me in the back and ask me if he can hold a dolla
    >prepared for this, me and my friends put on trench coats and sunglasses. The harassment stops as the blacks assume we are mass murder shooters. The man who ask for the dollar apologizes and begins to sweat profusely and sideways glances us until the film starts

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no cap when i watched this in the theaters people were clapping when cap said there's only one god mam

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      On god they clap when cap said one god no cap? fr?

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Based Cap. He's right, you know. There's only one God.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      And his name is Thor!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Thor's a homo

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Take that back, Brad! Or I'll tell Chris you beat off to her every morning.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bot thread?

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >And his name is Yahweh, the God of the israelites, his chosen people

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >and he supports gay marriage

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >NOOO YOU CAN’T SAY THAT!!!!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Cope christcuck. Turn another cheek when I'm slapping you

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >dyel b***h can’t even knock me down with a slap
        lmfao

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this thread isn't about trannies son, get help.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No that’s the hazbin thread

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Allah. PBUH

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