>"they will find the ring and kill the one who carries it"
>"Frodo!!"
>*first door closes*
>"Got me! you silly rascal I must go find my hobbit and the ring"
>*second door closes*
>"This is not the time for jokes my friend"
>*third door closes*
>"Now if I didn't know any better I would think you have betrayed us now please let me go before they reach the Shire"
>*fourth door closes*
>*grins malevolously at Gandalf*
>"Y-You? This can't be true! Please don't tell me you've been Sauron's man this whole time Sauronman!"
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Gandalf should have realized when sauronsman showed him his tor node
There is nothing strange with owning a palantir, especially for a grand wizard who knows how to use it.
Yeah but everyone assumes you're watching hobbit porn or buying illicit potions even if you assure us you definitely aren't
i saw tor icon on my friend's computer screen
does this mean...
Oooooh I just now got it lol, "Sauronman"
I'm dumber than Gandalf cuz I just now figured it out
>gundalf
>never uses a gun
who writes this shit
>grand elf
BRABO JACKSON
You’re thinking of lord of the firings
I think you're misremembering
That's from Lord of the Rangs.
Why wasn't Radagast the Brown in the original LOTR movies? He's in the books. He's the whole reason Gandalf goes to Isengard.
Probably the same reason the barrow downs or Tom Bombadil aren’t there
Why would they have an Istari that vanishes halfway through the story?
LEAVE SAURON TO ME, FOR I AM SAURONMAN
>Isengard
>sends guards to Mordor
>name is boromir
>gets killed by a bow in here
That's too much of a strech
>Borrowmir
>tries to borrow the ring
really?
>Schmegold
How did George R. R. Tolkien get away with this?
>Faramir
>his father sends him far away
>Borromere
>he merely wants to borrow the Ring
>Gandalf The White....
>GANDALF THE gayGGGGGGG
rekt
>Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth, WormTONGUE!
>You are a witless worm, WORMtongue!
Gandalf can drop some fire shade too
>Gandalf the Gay
>’For I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!'
>I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours, and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.
>’I liked white better,' I said.
Reddit dialogue, who writes this shit?
>who writes this shit?
John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was the author of the Lord of the Rings series.
>Gandalf the white?
>Gandalf the israelite!
>Villain's fortress of Bad-door in the land of Murder-door
What's with Tolkein's obsession with doors
Doors are cool. Fight me.
A famous linguist once said that the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellardoor". And his name? Donnie Tolkienstein.
it's pronounced Keller (brim) door
wait till I tell you about gone-door the city with a giant door that gets obliterated
"BILBO BAGGINS!!!! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!!"
>conjures cheap trick
just getting in to Fellowship @ https://bongstream.live/
Bong lost the stream wars
?t=228
Why didn't the Eagles just transport them to Minas Tirith?
Glenn frey refused to authorize usage of the eagles' likeness.
Because Sauron would have looked at them and shot a laser
>Hold your fire, there's no lifeforms aboard those eagles.
did you play warcraft 2? and send 6 eagle riders right into the dark portal and it gets fire bombed by death riders, arrow towers, and trolls with tomahawks
Why don't the eagle riders just fly higher?
So much for "strategy" games
anti aerial defenses
>The Eagles
I don't get why everybody always asks this. Tolkien didn't write them into his universe so it makes no sense that they would have been able to do anything, let alone fly people around.
The Eagles are a Boeing subsidiary. They couldn't be in more mortal danger.
>the town of hobbits is called Hobbiton
Memes aside, you can't defend this.
>The land of the Britons is called Britain
What the frick
>"my name? Its uhhh uhhh..."
>*think frodo, THINK! Ah yes I live under a hill... that should do!"
>"the name's Underhill"
Bravo Frodo
Gandalf literally tells him to use that name in the book.
Get a load of this homosexual nerd
You got a source for that claim?
That's generally how things were named in more celtic sort of areas of the british isles.
>real world nation builds a very big wall to keep out invaders
>they call it "the great wall"
who wrote this shit
>Kingdom of the West Saxons
>called Wessex
HACKS
>Italy
>Italians live there
Tolkien is a plagiarizing hack.
And here is my good friend, confidant and advisor Grimace Wormtongue
I though it was Grimy Slimy Snake Liar
>Legolas
>no legos in sight, indicating he did indeed lose them
Everyone came from a groin Gimli, you aren't special
>bag end
>baggins
>woman kills the bad guy
>says "hey I win"
what was her name again?
Iwin Noman
>leg of lass
We get it Tolkien, Elves are effeminate.
So what's with the staffs? Why would holding two make Saruman stronger? Why would destroying his staff make him weaker? Surely those powerful wizards could do magic without their sticks?
they put their magic in them, kind of like sauron put his magic into the ring. I guess it's just something that maiar can do.
It is what they use to exercise their Maiar authority in middle-earth. Without it they're just a bunch of old men bodies with relatively powerless angels living in them.
Admit it. A page-to-screen adaption of the book would be absolute shit to watch. Christopher Tolkien can suck it.
But also admit that you would watch it. I would.
>noooo think about the 200 year old boomer's opinions
This made me laugh too, how Gandalf doesn't even say anything, just keeps trying to walk to the next door kek
>m-maybe it was just the wind
>Maybe I can make it through this one before his casting cooldown ends.
As someone who recently marathoned the DVD special editions recently, i would just like to say that Two towers kinda sucks besides Gandalf's return and helm's deep, while Eomer's scenes are beyond boring as she just comes off as a cuckqueensl since Aragorn solely has elf pussy on his mind.
Fellowship remains the singular best movie ever yet.
There was literally no reason for Gandalf to leave Frodo and Sam in the movie version.
Why'd he dye his hair blue?
>Aragorn monologues about the ringwraiths and how they're drawn to the ring
>they're drawn to the wrong room though the hobbits and Aragorn were actually across the street
?
frodo accidentally dropped the ring when they switched hotels. it rolled into the corner so the ringwraiths couldn't see it and after they left frodo went back to get it again.
Why the ring wouldn't just roll on itself and get under the legs of someone else, offering itself to him?
Why doesn't the ring just roll itself back to mordor?
It's unironically even worse in the books where they spend decades searching in the wrong places, and so Sauron had them put on robes to be able to be seen and ask for directions because they were so bad at looking and even then they were about to frick off north if not for coming upon Grima who tipped them off to the Shire(which they also needed help finding). The only fricking use they have is not being able to die, and even that is hardly of use considering how often it means they have to walk back to Mordor
Idk. The concept that the ring is like a gps beacon that they can sense is a half baked movie invention. The wraiths talking is one of the weirdest things in the book for sure though
>the Wraith-King is extremely wienery and confident that no man can kill him
>flees in terror from Aragorn with a torch
?
Probably didnt want to fight the famous 6'8" dude with a chiseled jawline well known for murdering creatures of the dark and being the leader of the Rangers
but he's confident that no man can kill him so why would he give a shit about a ranger?
Technically the Numenorens arent fully men
That's what happens when you don't include either the original explanation for an event or make a new plausible one.
In the books Frodo swings a barrow dagger at him and speaks the name of the queen of the Valar, a name which Frodo knew from a previous wraith encounter could drive them away.
He also stabbed Frodo with his dagger and believes he would become a wraith himself and come to him later so no reason to hang around.
mfw bongstreamers streaming bongstream streams
and fren5 is gay.live
>Saurman! You are a liar and your pants...are on fire!
>farmer who rapes all the hobbit boys he finds on his farm is called "farmer homosexual"
Why didn't the ring just mind control Gollum to walk to Mordor and deliver the ring to Sauron?
it honestly was dumb of Saruman to reveal his intentions. He should have played along and manipulated Gandalf into bringing Frodo and the ring to Isengard.
>Tolkien
>lotr starts as a bedtime story he told kin
what the frick
>Smaug
>is smug
>spews smog
whoa