this shit had no right being that kino
why did it flop? it was franchise material
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this shit had no right being that kino. why did it flop? it was franchise material
this shit had no right being that kino
why did it flop? it was franchise material
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Vampire pusy
Kate Beckinsale's pussy
The world was not yet ready for this level of kino yet
>had no right
why do people say this? what the frick is it even supposed to mean? just shut the frick up
what he means is this kino was bussin fr no cap
Sure, 6 years tracks better. Point being that it just came out at the wrong time. The mid 2000s (pre-MCU) were not a good time for big budget, high concept fantasy.
Not true, people just thought it was dumb at the time. Granted, we were much smarter back then.
it's just homosexualspeak, par for the course here
All three of you are fricking moronic. Get out of your house more instead of sperging at very common sayings that predates all 3 of yours combined age
>g-go outside
Epic rebuttal, anon.
How about you just stop writing like a total fricking homosexual.
First half was ultra kino, last half dragged and was kind of a mess in parts. Still a great fun movie with good characters and Hollywood should make more like this
Mousehunt, too.. That's a very good movie.. fricking excellent all the way through.
i may check that out
I think if it had come out a decade earlier or later it would have. The "dark, edgy supernatural thriller" was bigger in the 90s and VanHelsing was kinda campy. Also, the big franchise wasn't really fully fleshed out in 05 when this came out.
Basically, it was both ahead of the times and behind the times.
maybe more like 6 years earlier or later, but i get your point
>we never got the van helsing/mummy crossover
More like 7.2 years earlier would be best, but lets not labor the point
Best werewolf depiction in the history of cinema.
What about Dog Soldiers?
Kino af too
Needed better cgi
But it wasn't that bad for 2004, it was more than acceptable. A great movie with mediocre cgi is better than a shit movie with great cgi
The level of CGI is comparable to Blade which is from the late 90s
>Needed better cgi
It needed less CGI. Or none at all. Why was CGI even there?
Should have been rated R.
Sick of no balls pg13 shit.
The kids deserve action movies too anon.
It's a prequel to The Mummy 1999
>it needs blood and swearing and sex!!!!
None of that would have made it better
It was complete shit the moment the werewolves were introduced
it was literaly just an 'edgy' attempt at twilight
ok zoomer
Dude, I was born in 1985
>>'edgy' attempt at twilight
>2005 book and 2008 movie
>Van Helsing: 2004 film
more like edgy attempt at shitposting
I like the cut of his jib.
What did you think of the Dracula actor?
Frankenstein monsta for me, he really acted the shit of the role. Mofo was an opera singer.
>Mofo was an opera singer.
Just watched it last night, didnt know that, he was definitely overacting bigtime like he was on a theater stage, I guess the whole cast was overacting t b h
>he was definitely overacting bigtime like he was on a theater stage, I guess the whole cast was overacting t b h
and that's a good thing
no.
It was for Van Helsing. The ridiculous accents and screaming were kino.
well, if it had been taken slightly more seriously (which is easy to do without sacrificing quality), maybe it wouldn't have been a flop with no franchise. enjoy your "ironic" moronic kino
But if it were taken more seriously, it would not have been as fun or enjoyable as it was. It's supposed to be a wild humorous adventure flick, not some slow measured Dracula stage play
that's a meme and such a bullshit either-or fallacy
>HURR IF IT WEREN'T SUPREMELY SILLY AND IF IT WERE *SLIGHTLY* MORE SERIOUS, IT WOULDN'T BE KEEEEEENOOO
why?
You want an A24 version?
>if you think my ironically moronic film was not the best, you must love A24
[either-or fallacy intensifies]
will you actually justify your point or what?
yeah, you homosexual
if you're just a Pajeet who spunks over "le ridiculous over-the-top-based action", then I understand why you think Van Helsing is perfect. but for anyone else, Stephen Sommers showed he's capable of better and more financially successful work, so it's a shame to see him squander a cool concept
I can tell from your posts that you're an incel. It doesn't negate your opinion but I understand why you think that way
>hole detected
you know the drill
🙂
see:
>cut Hyde cold-open, have Van Helsing start in Transylvania
>have Carl be a regular assistant with some holy weapons, not fricking Vatican's version of MI-6 Q-branch.
>cut Kate Beckinsale superhuman parkour
>cut the dumb vampire ball acrobatics
>have a better way other than "lel magic mirror" to reach Dracula's castle
>cut VanHelsing werewolf vs Dracula-bat cgi fight
>save Van Helsing's origins as the angel Gabriel for later installments
>hire someone other than Silvestri if he can't come up with a better score
>better editing and pacing
ask yourselves why The Mummy and The Mummy Returns are different
Specify what changes you would make to make it "slightly" more serious and a big hit
The movie is kino, you are to blame if you take vampires and werewolves so seriously that you set "realistic" standards about them
I mean if I was a child I would sperg for these reasons you say but the genre is by definition corny and any attempt at elevating it to something mature is very cringy
Richard Roxburgh is great, and this role was no exception.
It was classic operatic dracula, lots of fun.
Frick the modern bullshit of gritty acting.
Movies are so fricking boring now.
kek he looks like a 45 year old goth guy at the goth club trying to relive the past. great performance though
female collegue of mine said he was hot in this
Uncanny mix of leathery Australian skin with the unnatural pallor of makeup. troonyesque
>What did you think of the Dracula actor?
Normally an excellent actor, but I thought he was a bit over the top slap sticky in this.
That may be the directors fault, since he sometimes goes a bit too goofy and cartoonish (this, G.I. Joe )
>That may be the directors fault, since he sometimes goes a bit too goofy and cartoonish (this, G.I. Joe )
100%. I am disappoint. This film could have been GOAT and a linked franchise to The Mummy.
>That may be the directors fault
100%. This movie was directed by the same homosexual who ruined mummy turning it into shitty Indiana Jones clone. He downplayed mummys role in favor of pushing some plastic Ken-like moron. No wonder the same director turned Dracula into laughing stock too. Richard Roxburgh (Dracula actor) is cool but director fricked him up.
>pushing some plastic Ken-like moron.
y-you mean the cgi Rock who shows up for 3 minutes at the beginning and end?
No. I mean that moron Brandon from JUST meme. The movie wasted 70% of screentime on him for no reason. Mummy guy was reduced to mere background character in his own movie. The Mummy was my fav classic monsters movie for it's mysterious aura and amazing role of Boris Karloff. He was even better there than in Frankenstein movie. And guess what. That homosexual director completely downplayed mummy in a fricking Mummy movie. But instead we got 90 minutes of Brendan Fraiser JUST. No wonder the same director then completely fricked Dracula as well.
so you're upset the movie focused on the protagonist, and not the villain?
The mummy is THE protagonist. Universal Monsters turned everything upside down and made monsters protagonists. That was the key of their success. You rooted for these monsters. You follow them, you see events from their perspective. This director threw something so unique and turned into generic romp similar to Indiana Jones or King Salomon Mines or so. Van Helsing was even worse because on top of that the director turned it into straight up comedy. Frankenstein is so goofy its like from Disney cartoons.
No he isn't. That just isn't how it works in Sommers' film. Maybe you could make the argument for the originals, I don't know enough to dispute that on principle. But just because the title is based on them as villains and they're the main draw, doesn't mean they're the protagonist--any more than Jaws is, Sauron, Cujo, Chucky, The Terminator, etc
That's always been the Mummy's gimmick, he's just a protagonist of a different perspective. He just wants to find his dead gf.
>this homie thinks having motivation makes a character the protagonist
o i am laffin
>Absolute favorite kino
>love it since it had the most brutal werewolf designs I never saw in other Media
>Dracula being extremely dramatic and theatrical, it was a joy to watch.
>fast forward years later
>bought a new homekino station for several thousand euros
>already watched Tron Legacy on it. Subwoofer teared a hole in my couch
>with girlfriend in "insert electronic store" to buy some new blurays
>See Van Helsing for 2,99
>"Ayo we need to see this, its a steal" "This looks like trash anon wtf"
>bought it anyway, get home threw the disc in and we watched it again.
>finally I can show her the kino of my childhood after The Mummy
>It is the worst and cringiest shit we ever saw. I couldn't watch anymore so we stopped in the middle
Why do women do this?
I will always hold this film in a special place in my heart.
My Mom took me out of Highschool for the day to see it.
I was at a goth club called Slimelight in London maybe a decade ago and they were projecting this on the wall in a stairwell. It was nice to catch my breath and sit watching this for a bit.
>it was franchise material
no it wasn't.
Stephen Sommers unfortunately embraced the total camp, CGI action-humor style from the Mummy Returns leading to shit like Van Helsing and GI JOE.
He should have stuck to the more grounded, better paced action-horror (with occasional jokes and levity) style he had in Deep Rising and The Mummy.
>why did it flop?
It tried to do too much, and blew its load in 1 film. Dracula, lesser vampires, Frankenstein ('s monster), and werewolves? Plus Mr Hyde and Van Helsing is actually the angel Gabriel? It should have take only 2 of those elements in a much more limited setting, and Alan Silvestri should have emulated Jerry Goldsmith for a more iconic score.
now that I think about it. maybe they made Van Helsing immortal as an excuse to have him show up 50 years later in a Mummy tie-in like pic related tried
The only good part is the beginning with Mr. Hyde.
And Kate.
The rest is no good at all.
>The only good part is the beginning with Mr. Hyde
I like the cigar, voice, and final death, but it was hamfisted and out-of-place with the overall film
kino of the highest order
haha wouldn't it be terrible if kate beckinsale landed pusy first on your face
that would suck haha
it would suck if you were a flaming homosexual haha good thing Van Helsing was super straight
imagine the smell
what were they thinking
is this supposed to be funny or something
when will they stop making stupid "jokes" that appeal only for the 8yos
Unironically would have watched a full length film about this
You now remember the animated prequel they put out for this film.
wasn't this also on the DVD?
Also not gonna lie. A Van Helsing series like they did with castelvania would be dope
hot chick died
but she smiled in the clouds after her funeral, top kino
how would you frick a cloud?
For me it’s Stan Helsing
>why did it flop?
Because it was CGI shitfest parody. Too much silly comedy and too special effects heavy.
it was capeshit before normies were told they were supposed to like capeshit
It was capeshit tier but actually fun and enjoyable, unlike most capeshit
It's weird just how much people hate actually having fun. This movie had everything.
This movie has had more impact on pop culture and public perception of certain things than anyone will ever properly give it credit for.
give ONE example lmao
good for him. that's really cool actually
Overaturation at the time of similarly themed low effort schlock.
The village they built in Prague was absolutely beautiful design-wise. Too bad it was eventually tear down.
pure soul
>the extended version of the ballroom scene wit Aleera STILL hasn't been released
Frick them
>the Dracula actor actually married one of the brides irl
absolute basé
Set design kino
yeah
More underated kino incoming
It's a really good movie and if anyone in your life says they didn't like it you should legitimately disown them
It had EVERY right.. Passion.. Pure and simple.