This summer
This summer
This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8
— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
This summer
This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8
— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
GAY SEX
>Baba O Riley starts playing
>IN A WORLD
Ha holy fuck
*Teenage Wasteland
WHERE moronS
FUCK MY ASS
FROM OSCAR-WINNING DIRECTOR ALFONSO CUARÓN
I AM AUTISM
Remember when Mr. Enter made a video on this commercial, stating everything wrong with it?
That video was kino.
unbeatable
unstoppable
unmatched
>slow, downtuned cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley begins playing
CUMS, LITERALLY
>those who believe in god... Pray
>those who do not.... Start quoting nietzsche
*gunshots*
A Netflix adaptation
Of a Hideo Kojima game
In association with your spawn point (mum)
>deafening horn
>insertion begins
BWWAAAAAAAAAAA!
?t=198
yep
>vietnam era flashback
>fortunate son starts playing
*ear shredding fart noise*
>only available in select theaters
>ADAM SANDLER IS.... THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
>and in a wacky turn of events, after failing to get re-elected, he's now the new [record scatch noise] ... pope?! [Gregorian chants mixed with dubstep play]
>"I sentece you to kiss my holy ass"
>who let the dogs out starts playing over a montage of random people kneeling to kiss his bare ass
>*who let the dogs out starts playing*
>OW MY HOLY BALLS
Okay but this film sounds lowkey based
KEVIN JAMES IS
>*lightning flash as moving van pulls into a drive*
>*children slowly singing creepy nursery rhyme*
>”the Jeffersons thought they would find peace in their new home”
>*fade to wide-eyed mom slowly turning round in terror*
>”but some houses…”
>*cut to child holding raising finger to lips to shhh*
>”…come with character”
>*cut to black as child whispers “he’s hereee”*
>*violin screech as mom runs down stairs in terror*
>”but this family…”
>*mom runs out front door as music builds up to crescendo*
>”…bought a character…”
>*mom runs into yard past a dog house*
>”…of their own…”
>*record scratch*
>*who let the dogs out starts playing*
>*giant St. Bernard tackles mom in the yard and licks her face*
>”THIS SUMMER”
>”THIS POLTERGEIST”
>*st Bernard running into attic*
>”IS BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE”
>*music stops with whoosh sound*
>*footage of St. Bernard dancing on hind legs to monster mash*
>”MANS BEST FIEND”
>”COMING SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU”
He's big, he's slobbery, and he's the ultimate ghostbuster.
Write that down WRITE THAT DOWN
>BEELZEBEETHOVEN
>50 YEARS AFTER BEING LEFT FOR DEAD IN SAIGON, ARMY DOG RETURNS FROM THE DEAD, AND HE WANTS BLOOD
>and LOTS of belly rubs!
>The POPE?! But I don't even go to church! I barely know where the Vatican is!
>*cut to shot of cardinals slowly walking through the Vatican as part of mass*
>*Sandler comes running in through the front doors, causing everyone's heads to turn as he jogs along, holding up his robes so they don't get caught*
>Sorry. Sorry. I got caught up in traffic and couldn't find my exit... Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.
>*sees guy fashioning a Hitler moustache*
>Ble-... Actually don't bless you, the Hitler-moustache is definitely unholy and you should really shave that off
>*Dog cringing in the pews starts whimpering*
>but he's not alone
>*shot of nun holding down her flying habit while standing on an air vent in slo mo*
>"Pope Urkel the 1st, is that a crucifix under your robe or are you just happy to see me?"
>jock bishops pointing and laughing at Sandler's throbbing and comically large erection
>"could you give me a hand here, God?"
>lighting strikes the ground inches from Sandler
>"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, YOU PERV"
also, the nun has to be played by carmen electra, this is non-negociable
>...you will see a trailer that teases nudity and extreme violence but the R rating is entirely due to three F words
>President Coolidge (Calvin's great-great-great grandson) has just been impeached from office with both parties in unanimous agreement after they realised that a "cool" president who drinks beer and swears at football games isn't a good fit for the country.
>Meanwhile, in Italy, the Pope has just resigned after a scandal revealing that he had a harem of nuns who he was sleeping with.
>The head Vatican chief, Richie (played by Javier Bardem) is in hot water for not vetting him better. The assumed would-be new Pope, John-Paul (played by Kevin James), starts planning about the evil ways he'll change the church when he gets into office.
>Richie vows to make sure that doesn't happen and vetoes John-Paul. JP, in a bid to oust Richie, rigs the vote and makes President Coolidge the winner of the conclave to make Richie look incompetent. But in a twist, Richie follows through and wrangles Coolidge into becoming the new Pope anyway.
>JP and his bumbling sidekick (played by David Spade) plot to make sure that Coolidge's papacy is constantly undermined. However, when Coolidge realises that the Pope can't be voted out and has to voluntarily resign, he decides to embrace the role worrying Richie.
>Can Richie turn Coolidge into a well-respected Church Leader? Find out this summer in President Pope
>god is played by snoop dogg and is a massive stoner
>there's a meta joke where he comments on Morgan Freeman playing him in Bruce Almighty
>*whooooossshhup*
>MORGAN FREEMAN
>KEANU REEVES
>THEY KNEW TOO MUCH
>"WE KNOW TOO MUCH!"
>THEY WENT TOO FAR
>"WE WENT TOO FAR! HE SAID WE WENT TOO FAR MAN..."
>"WHY DID WE GO TOO FAR?"
>As far long as I remember, I always wanted to be a gangster
>"Hoh! Mikey, make soore dose schfuyadel ain't burnt to a crisp will ya?!"
>"Sure ting Uncle Frank"
>Where was I? Oh yeah, I always wanted to be a gangster, but since I'm a garden gnome, it was always going to be tough for me
>"Muthafuckin' cocksucka! Mikey - grab dis stupid fuckin' heeb's legs, Frankie, you grab his arms. Let's dump him in da river."
>*Record scratch* *freeze frame*
>Now you're probably wondering how I got to be head of the 5 families that quick
>The end
>Directed by Martin Scorsese
>This summer, see the rise of a king
>*Record Scratch*
>From his nap!?!
>*Cuts to a dog sleeping*
>What happens when King Charles is deposed by a King Charles Spaniel?
>*Who let the dog out starts playing*
>*Montage of a dog running around Buckingham palace*
>*Shot of the house of lords*
>"There's no law against a dog running the country!"
>"Actually there is, but only if his queen isn't a cat."
>*Year of the cat starts playing*
>This summer, watch opposites attract, in "Reigning Cats and Dogs".
>*Trailer ends with a shot of the cat licking the dog.*
reminds me of king babar.
>orchestral version of the battletoads theme tune plays
summer movies aren't rated R tho
>this summer, a whiny brat points out on an online forum that summer movies usually aren't rated R
>*farts to the melody of 'final countdown' start playing*
>and
>*explosion*
>no
>*explosion*
>one
>*explosion and sounds of glass shattering*
>cares
>DISCOVER.... THE MULTIVERSE!
>*pickle rick cameo*
>*protagonist breaks the 4th wall to tell the audience this movie is great*
>GET READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN IN IMAX 4K HDR 3D HFR
>*dubstep music over shitty CGI shaky cam explosions*
>COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU
>STARRING