Unironically a great movie

Unironically a great movie

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I liked the bit with no CGI

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The intro is kino. The rest is just two unlikable homosexuals running around like its Looney Tunes. Then it turns into an Avatar knockoff

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah the loony tunes cut is quite kino. Such an ingenious idea to rescore the soundtrack and sound effects with loony tunes.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >every sci-fi made after 2009 is an Avatar knockoff

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I just marathoned the first 20 minutes and I dont think this semon slurping movie is for me. This anon is the most accurate

      Dane sucks and everything looks weird and fake. I'll keep it on for background for a while but to be honest it kinda makes me wanna put on xcom2 and dab on aliums.

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've watched this 3 times since it's come out and I have to agree. Furthermore, whereas I once thought the two leads were both terribly miscast, I now only think Cara was.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah the loony tunes cut is quite kino. Such an ingenious idea to rescore the soundtrack and sound effects with loony tunes.

      i agree. movie gets a ton of hate even though it's as good or better than the typical modern movie trash heap. i assume it must be something to do with muh source material bookhomosexuals.

      Peak scifi comfy
      Luc Besson kino
      Rihanna before getting blacked

      I saw this in theaters what 2017? and some pleb shouted worst movie ever

      I fell asleep during your movie, Besson. You really fell off after The Fifth Element.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        You say that like The Fifth Element was anything more than mildly serviceable with a few memorable moments.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          As oppose to Valerian, which wasn't even serviceable or memorable.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >he didn't enjoy Arthur and the Minimoys

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I actually like you and your movies, Dane but you’d have an easier time shilling A Cure For Wellness (Verbinski is an excellent director), or that Superman knockoff

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Honestly, a younger Bruce Willis would've been perfect for this role like in 5th element.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Rehashes 5th Element excessively, but it's nice to look at and you can tell he loved the source material.

      For not being an actress, Cara's okay.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >For not being an actress, Cara's okay.
        Kek, no she wasn't. She never was. Only simps would argue otherwise.

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    i agree. movie gets a ton of hate even though it's as good or better than the typical modern movie trash heap. i assume it must be something to do with muh source material bookhomosexuals.

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Its one of the few movies i can really think of where the main characters acting is just so fricking bad is brings everything down

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    completely miscast, and not just Dane and Cara. Every single role was wrong
    visually it's also a disaster once they get to the station

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >CARA'S CAREER IS DEAD!

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Peak scifi comfy
    Luc Besson kino
    Rihanna before getting blacked

    I saw this in theaters what 2017? and some pleb shouted worst movie ever

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >rihanna before getting blacked
      Imagine being this fricking moronic lmao

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Black person

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    this movie was cara delavigne or whatevers peak or something i heard.

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's not a terrible movie, but damn the simple plot doesn't live up to the grandeur of the setting.

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It has a lot of good parts if you throw out the lead actors, the writers, and the director.

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    For the first five minutes, of course.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Agree that

      The intro is kino. The rest is just two unlikable homosexuals running around like its Looney Tunes. Then it turns into an Avatar knockoff

      the intro is kino. I like the "loony toons" or whatever plotline at least it's original and has source material.

      Underrated kino was Valerian SMASHING through walls and levels. Y'all dont get it but in space there's no up or down or gravity but there's dimensions and he just juggernauts through it all.

      I've watched this 3 times since it's come out and I have to agree. Furthermore, whereas I once thought the two leads were both terribly miscast, I now only think Cara was.

      Cara was fine, the dude sucked but he's not irredeemable

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sadly the almost zero chemistry between the two leads kinda ruined the experience.
    Feel free to fax me if you disagree.

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did Luc Besson frick her?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      she look so stinky to me

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty sure everyone did.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I always thought that Cara was cute even though she’s the queen nepo baby and an absolutely abhorrent actress but that video of her talking about tounging butthole kinda turned me off even though I kinda knew it was happening.

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was legitimately awful and the acting was uniformly atrocious with horribly miscast leads who sleepwalked through the entire thing and had zero chemistry.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sleepwalked through the entire thing
      Wtf does this even mean

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The most miscast movie of all time.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      If we are talking just lead actors, it's rivalled by John Carter. A really solid sci-fantasy action movie happens around that sullen frick but he drags it all down completely misplaying John.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Thats 1 actor, riana is also terrible in it, there were so many roles that needed to change in valerian

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Good because Dane is on Cinemaphile, i like your move Dane

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Dane if you're reading this, please consider a different career

  19. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's down with LXG and Catwoman when it comes to bad comic book adaptations.

  20. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    No. It definitely is not.

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >trust me besson, I have just the actor to play your cool chad jock heartthrob character. this movie will be a big hit with him as your lead!

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >fifth element for zoomers

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Frig off Cara if you're going to post on here show us your flatties.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      haters gonna hate

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just put it on.
    >starts with Space Oddity
    Um yeah I'm thinking based.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lol so cute

      Enjoy the visuals and action it's gonna be a comfy ride don't take it too seriously

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