What medical problem did Hank have where he had time to read while on the shitter?

What medical problem did Hank have where he had time to read while on the shitter?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The plot convenience condition

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You mean to tell me you've never once felt inclined to have some reading material handy when you're on the shitter?
      Like, you never thought to reach for a copy of Field & Stream or Esquire in there?

      No, I get in, do my business in 5 minutes or less, and get out. Fricking Americans, I swear.

      I took a 3 hour shit once and came out at the end of my shift. Nobody noticed

      Americans are so fat they have to wait for the shit to squeeze through their cheeks. It takes at least 5 minutes and a full tub of vaseline.

      >American house
      >Made out of wood
      >Guests have to walk through the parents bedroom to visit the bathroom
      >Toilet is in the same room as shower and sink

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Guests have to walk through the parents bedroom to visit the bathroom
        >Toilet is in the same room as shower and sink
        Never understood this shit. Why do Americans build their houses like this?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          probably because the man of the house is very fat and has to be closest to toilet for emergencies

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It's called a master bedroom. In America we have 3+ bathrooms instead of 1 because we arent poor. Our pipes also allow us to flush paper, a luxury Europoors will never understand

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah and your toilet bowl could comfortably accomodate a fricking hippo. We truly are too poor for that much porcelain

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              You sound a tad envious there m8

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Why go through all that trouble when you're all just going to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain anyways?

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Ew gross

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              You’re supposed to make it go down the drain?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          So long as you keep the lid down when you flush there's no problem. Plus I figure Hank was just using the master bedroom bathroom because he's a dick.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I have 3 bathrooms

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >while
          And they're all located where someone can hear you shitting, it's a staple of American home construction.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            This. I had an uncle who rented a small house where the bathroom was literally a toilet in the kitchen with a shower curtain to pull around it. Fricking weird as all hell.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe if you're living with a pack of people due to being poor.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Guests have to walk through the parents bedroom to visit the bathroom
        >Toilet is in the same room as shower and sink
        Never understood this shit. Why do Americans build their houses like this?

        There's 2+ bathrooms lmfao

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        is in the same room as shower and sink
        where else would it be

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          They probably still use an outhouse

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          There's 2+ bathrooms lmfao

          So why is he shitting in the master?

          It's called a guest day head or powderroom you fricking 3rd worlder

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >noooo I don't wash my hands after I shit you are third worlder!!!
            what?

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              If you don’t have a dirty butt you don’t have to wash after you nasty burger.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          This is insanity. Are Americans really like this? You just shit where you shower? Do you shit where you eat and sleep to?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            it's not an american thing we have that in russia too but it depends on what type of commiblock you live in, I've seen both with a wc+bathroom and with a separate shitter

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Euros poop in the closet

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Toilet is in the same room as shower and sink
        ummm I guess I live in McMansion

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You mean to tell me you've never once felt inclined to have some reading material handy when you're on the shitter?
    Like, you never thought to reach for a copy of Field & Stream or Esquire in there?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      No, I get in, do my business in 5 minutes or less, and get out. Fricking Americans, I swear.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Americans are so fat they have to wait for the shit to squeeze through their cheeks. It takes at least 5 minutes and a full tub of vaseline.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >No you fricking american guy I do my bloody basterd business and beat it
        >It is loo not loo-brary

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Because you're a tiny weak homosexual microdick manlet who shits tiny little turds because you only eat homosexual food because meat is murder amirite?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Underrated response.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I shit in about 30 seconds, wipe a few times due to my kratom intake and wash my hands. Takes about 2 minutes total. Youre a disgrace shitting for 5 minutes like a hippo

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >wipe a few times due to my kratom intake
          Can you elaborate? I regularly use kratom and I've read it can cause constipation but I've never read anything like this? I'm not even sure what you're hinting at.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Your shit will become like a rock that wont leave any residue behind. You literally no longer have to wipe 90 percent of the time

            Dude I had like 4 grams of kratom the other day and I didn't shit for two days, what am I doing wrong

            You have to take less. Youre going to shit eventually and clog your toilet. Take it in the morning with coffee and lay off the rest of the day

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Dude I had like 4 grams of kratom the other day and I didn't shit for two days, what am I doing wrong

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Drink more water and have fiber in your diet. I take anywhere from 6-8 grams of kratom throughout the day for my back and I get at least 2 good sized solid shits a day.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I take kratom and I never have to wipe.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >t. Indian

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        homie, isn't 5 minutes just enough to read at least something? Is your europoor micro-brain really so fricked-up from the leaking cum that Ahmed discharges up your ass and mouth that you can't even read a couple paragraphs in 5 minutes?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I am pretty certain this is an American phenomenon. Like, literally the food they eat causes them all to have what the rest of the world see as a bad runny shit. But they see it as normal

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        worker ant mentality. i take as long as i want to at a given time

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Most Americans eat like slaves (literally, the unhealthiest shit you could possibly imagine) so their digestive systems are all fricked up and they even walk around with shart stains on their underwear and pants in public and it's considered socially acceptable

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I am literally typing this post while taking a shit right now.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I took a 3 hour shit once and came out at the end of my shift. Nobody noticed

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I’m sorry, sir, this book can’t be used as evidence. It’s been flagged.
    >Flagged?
    >it’s been in the bathroom.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >a brown subhuman made a thread on Cinemaphile to "brag" about how he shits fast
    What possesses a cuckold incel to make such a thread?

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Boomers are all constipated

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If you're in there for longer than 3 minutes get your diet in check. A high fiber diet will make your shit fast and efficient. Literally wipe once and you're good.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You can tell everyone itt is a no life shut in incel, when you have a family and you’re constantly around people, it can be nice to use your shitting time to chill out and get away from it all. My dad would spend an hour plus most times he went for a shit with a newspaper

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >girlfriends yells and has conversations with me while i'm shitting

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Is this meant to be a burn or something
      >haha you no life losers, I take a shit and hide from people
      ????

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That's even worse because then your family thinks you either hate them or you have Crohns or some shit.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I’m a no life shut in incel with Crohns, so I still require reading material.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      One of the very few good things about having Crohns is nobody questions it if I sit on the toilet for long periods just to get away. I do this at work pretty much once a week at least.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >girlfriends yells and has conversations with me while i'm shitting

      gosh,if my life choices make me an incel,then I'm proudly so.
      Inagine not having peace and quietness even when taking a dump
      I feel sorry for both of you

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Your dad was jerking it to the funnies

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >*barges into thread*
      >HURF DURF MUH INCELS MUH INKELS MUH HINKLEDINKLES MUH R/INCEL HECKIN NO-GOOD 4CHINNERS DRUUUUUUUUUUUUMPFFFFFFFFFFBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTT

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    American diet

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    In my old job I used to sit 20 minutes in the shitter like 3 times a day just to kill time. That's when I would do most of my posting here. It was a shop so there wasn't any women so that's where everyone would go because it had a lock where you wouldn't be bothered

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The terlet is an oasis of calm in a world full of noise and chaos. In any other context if you locked yourself in a small room doing nothing people would worry, they would think you are depressed or jerking off or doing some other thing that you should not be doing, but when you go to the terlet everyone understands that you are going to shit, just like they have shitted and will shit, we all know it and accept is wordlessly without drawing attention. And thus you are free of the shackles of other peoples' company for a few precious minutes without having to justify or explain yourself.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He was a flagger

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why did Walt leave damning evidence in his bathroom?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      It was his turn to hold the Idiot Ball.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I used to read on the toilet before smart phones. Screwtape Letters feels like it was written as a toilet book.

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If I had the family he has I would spend hours on the shitter alone too.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Wait you mean you don't read anything while you are on a shitter? Hell I am on a shitter right now

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >no you see you have to be fast with your number 2 if you do it longer than 10 seconds then there is something wrong with your body or you are an american
    Really?

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why did Walt keep that book? Was he a moron?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      He wanted to be caught

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The problem with having a supergenius main character (who is supposed to get caught eventually) is that you will have to make him do very stupid things at a certain point

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The problem with having a supergenius main character (who is supposed to get caught eventually) is that you will have to make him do very stupid things at a certain point

      Ehhh. Even super geniuses can have a mental slip. There was literally only one person in the world who would have been able to understand the meaning behind the dedication in that book. Plus Walt had like a million more stressful things going on at the time.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >There was literally only one person in the world who would have been able to understand the meaning behind the dedication in that book.
        Yeah and that only person has made it his life's mission to expose Heisenberg and is in Heisenberg's house all the time

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Sometimes I like to buy Kratom capsules and I usually start by taking 25-30 of them and then 10-15 more later. I keep upping the dose until I feel funny and end up laying down. Anyway I haven't pooped in several years now

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Being married.

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    For me the actual shitting takes like 10 seconds, but then I just sit there browsing Cinemaphile for some time before I wipe and wash

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Being old

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Oh so now we pretend that you don't sit in the shitter for 20 minutes while browsing Cinemaphile threads in the morning.

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    His wife was an awful cook.

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What medical condition do you have that makes you shit your stomach empty in just seconds?

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I am reading this thread on the toilet.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Remember to wash your hands and disinfect your device

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    probably a diet of sneed oils, man made vegetables and garbage slave food

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      sneed oils for feed? that's some city-slicker stuff. i prefer the chuck oils personally.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It can take me anywhere from 5-10 minutes to finish shitting and wiping. Sometimes I just sit on the toilet for an extra 10-15 minutes just reading.

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's why I shit in the shower now. Actually comes out easily. Toilets are a meme to sell toilet paper

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Ew.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        did you look in the mirror?

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Pro tip. If you shove a vibrating toothbrush up your butthole the poop will come out easier.

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be indian
    >wake up from bed and head to bathroom
    >greet the sirs walking and driving to work while taking morning poop

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >implying Indians use bathrooms

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >be indian
      >be trans port man, drive the milk trukk
      >it hard work, milk trukk is often waylaid by Naxalite bandits and receive death threats from sirs who want to seize the eponymous milk
      >but the milk must flow
      >be driving on road to Achala Village to collect Dalit breast milk
      >suddenly lose control over trukk, start sliding along a massive brown skidmark on side of road; bloody hell!
      >crash into a grotesquerie of pilgrims going to Varanasi to praying the needful to Lord Shiva's lingam to cured of the tumours growing all over their
      >all the breast milk in Chithatshitishitgarh is consumed on a flaming ball of steel and freakishly bloated elephant man limbs

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Average American diet.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm convinced this thread is just Americans larping because I cannot accept the rest of the world on Cinemaphile is this moronic.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      They aren't larping. They really are this moronic.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      They are completely serious. Then once they realize how moronic they are they try to pull the (lel i'm just trolling) bit. It's sad because europeans used to be a great people.

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I am American who oftens cooms to scat and have noticed how the stools of European and Japanese women are of a much firmer and lumpier consistency. Sometimes they're so dry the turds break apart into hard round pebbles before they even drop from the woman's butthole. While the American women's stools are more of the consistency of soft ice cream.

    What is the main cause of this? Is it because we eat more meat while other nations have to make do with more grains? As I understand it Europeans can barely afford red meat, and Asians even less so.

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I read a lot when I shit. Well first it started when I began jerking off and my semen is unusually strong smelling. Girls have mentioned it including my mother who said I have to spray the toilet with air freshener after I do the thing because people can smell it despite me catching it all and flushing the tissue. It's not just that but my balls have the scent within an hour or two after showering.
    Well I began shitting after I nut to cover up the smell
    >yh it's moronic but it works
    Either way I wait a few minutes for the last few drops to come out before pissing so I don't get any cum on my boxers. Whilst I wait I watch some tiktoks and see the latest threads, maybe post one reply. It's not a medical condition but there's a great many reasons why someone might read whilst taking a shit.

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Europeans usually share toilets, often a few toilets for a typical European tenement block, so it is considered bad manners to shit for more than a minute as there is usually a line of strangers outside the WC door.

    It is very noice when there's a cute grill who is shitting and you're waiting outside getting hard because you know you will get to walk in and inhale her aromas.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Can confirm

      My Romanian appartment building has only 12 floors and about 84 appartments but there is only bathroom every 2 floors

      when gets very busy big line so people usually are expected fast so bad manors if not

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I live in a Swedish apartment building and we only have a dry toilet in the same wooden shed we throw our trash in.

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    OP, i have no kedical problems, but shitter sometimes is the only peaceful place where one can have a 5-10 min break of their own

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    constipation from all the calcium channel blockers

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Amerishart syndrome

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