What went so fricking wrong with the Galactic Starcruiser hotel?

What went so fricking wrong with the Galactic Starcruiser hotel?

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  1. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    star wars in the hands of disney

  2. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    price, and hotel regulations

  3. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >hey kids wanna watch mom and dad frick?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      maybe its for four siblings, two kids and two teens

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >hey kids wanna watch two teens frick?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >me in the kids bunk watching my wife getting railed by a rebel fighter while drinking blue vodka with dry ice

          What would Walt Disney have done with this hotel to make it a success?

          prostitutes

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >prostitutes
            Literally the only thing I would pay $3,000/night for.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Disney made it canon that the Galactic Starcruiser™ is where Han Solo and Leia consummated their marriage.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Strange claim given that there is no honeymoon suite. They must have been poor or trashy.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      This place was for manchildren who don't have families. Kids don't even like SW now.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      You do know that kids share hotel rooms with their parents, right?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I know they do for those prices

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, but in general. Have you never been to a hotel with your family, before?

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Of course I have hence the joke and I wasn't even the anon you were initially replying to

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              >I w-was j-j-just PRETENDING TO BE DUMB! I was JUST KIDDING!!1!!1

              Okie dokie.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                OK moron

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      JUST LIKE IN JAPAN!

  4. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >too expensive
    >no windows
    >aesthetics of the worst parts of the franchise

  5. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >sequel trilogy
    There's a reason why Galaxy's Edge is the only currently active ST product.

  6. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    What would Walt Disney have done with this hotel to make it a success?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Based it on the prequels and not israeliteed customers while cutting every corner possible, but there are so many manchildren, influencers, and actual rich people who will continue paying $3000 per head for 3 days of millenial cosplayers and food brought over from Avatarland

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Walt Disney would go full Hitler 2.0 if he saw what became of his empire

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        id love to watch a fictional TV show about this

        imagine the keks

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        serves him right he hired a ton of ((them)) for their finance department so it was only a matter of time until ((they)) took over.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      He would have based a hotel on one of the castles of a Disney princess so all the single wine aunts who who are keeping Disney afloat because they are still basically a child would have somewhere to go to larp as the princess they are convinced they are

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Walt would never have something that expensive, period.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      he already tried coming up with a whole city

  7. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    got 4 hours?

    ?feature=shared

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >gets fricked over like 5 times over the course of her stay
      >Disney tells her to go frick herself every time until she uses her social media pull and then they instantly help her
      >every other customer is a peon who just has to eat shit
      best part of the video.
      Manchildren deserve to suffer, especially ones willing to blow that kind of money on this cancer.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        That's probably the most damning part of the video. Imagine if you went for Father of the Year and took your kids, experienced half of that shit. You'd get fricked for thousands of dollars. Even famous Jenny could barely get decent treatment by going on her twitter. Tons of people definitely got fricked. Disney wouldn't allow that a decade ago

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >manchildren deserve to suffer
        Manchildren are exactly the type of people to watch 4 hour video essays of some “le star wars girl teehee”

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          i dont even like star wars i just watched it because i needed some background noise while i played videogames

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >men don't watch videos detailing the failure of massive corporate investments
          Go back to your video games kiddo

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Men do not watch Jenny Black folkon videos, this is not up for debate.

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Y-yes it is!

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            I don’t play video games and I don’t watch 4 hour yt videos by your troony waifu. Now what?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Got a video like this, but without a woman?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        You think any men are out there reviewing theme parks and fanfiction?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Yes

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        To be fair that video has a woman who isn't actually one, so does that count?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Huh? Is Jenny Nicholson a troony?

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Her brother wears his sisters panties, and likely jerks off in them

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      My dad is a Star Wars nerd who hates nu wars. He actually watched this entire video and said he’d “be proud to have this young woman as my daughter”

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      frick this slop, here's a summary

      >The Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser hotel was an ambitious and immersive experiential hotel concept that ultimately failed to live up to expectations and went out of business.
      >The hotel promised a highly interactive "choose your own adventure" storyline and gameplay that would allow guests to become the heroes of their own Star Wars stories, but this gameplay element was poorly executed and often did not work as intended.
      >The hotel's marketing and promotional materials, including an awkward pre-opening video advertisement, set unrealistic expectations and failed to effectively convey what the actual guest experience would be like.
      >While the hotel's theming, dining, and some interactive elements were well-executed, the overall value proposition was considered poor by many guests given the extremely high nightly rates.
      >The hotel faced significant logistical and operational challenges, including issues with the app-based gameplay, limited access to certain areas, and a rushed turnaround between guest stays.
      >Many guests felt the experience did not live up to the hype or justify the exorbitant costs, leading to poor word-of-mouth and the hotel's eventual closure.
      >The cast members and performers working at the hotel were generally praised for their efforts, but were ultimately let down by the hotel's failures.
      >The document provides a detailed, critical, and often humorous account of one guest's experience at the Galactic Starcruiser, highlighting both the hotel's strengths and its many shortcomings.
      >The failure of the Galactic Starcruiser serves as a cautionary tale about the risks of overpromising and underdelivering on a highly ambitious and expensive themed experience.
      >The document suggests that Disney may have overestimated the demand for such a niche and costly Star Wars-themed hotel experience, highlighting the challenges of creating truly immersive and interactive entertainment at that scale.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >kino nicholson
        >slop

        have a nice day immediately. She is literally /ourgirl/, the only person more autistically invested in this sort of shit than we are

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          the only way for her to stop being slop would be to get a pair of massive bolt on fake breasts, and show them off constantly

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Well we can dream
            But she's still /ourgirl/

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >ywn frick Jenny raw in your Galactic Starcruiser bed while watching The Clone Wars
          It isn't fair...

          She's too autistic and too vapid to be /ourgirl/. We need to keep looking

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >too autistic

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >eceleb shoved their face in the video instead of just using their voice to narrate
      No fricking thanks

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      This video gave me AIDS. I had never heard this Jenny Nicholson's voice before but it made me want to stab my ears with a hunting knife.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I prefer watching Jojo cause they act like idiots because disney-shill but it's so ridiculous.

  8. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    obviously its way too expensive, the attempts at giving it multiple semi-interactive storylines dont seem to work either, should just have focused on entertaining the guests with a couple of games and events and ditch the app thing

  9. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe start with not having the rooms be the size of Japanese business hotels

  10. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Lots.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      That's a hotdog?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Not much, hot dog with you?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous
      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I'll have one of each

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I hate the Doyers but they know how to make a hot dog. Ditto the Phillies. Worst hot dog in all of baseball goes to a minor league team called the Greenville Drive.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      let me guess, thats food is named Lightsaber dog or some shit

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Danger dog

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        As far as I know they didn't give the food stupid names, probably because they knew their targets were adult aged children and not regular children. The only custom name shit of theirs that I've seen is for what wienertails they mix at the bar and their beer they've commissioned.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >$3,000 a night and you had to pay for your own meals
          Top kek

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            All the food was free actually, you only had to pay for drinks, it's one of the things they did right. Some of the meals were buffet style where you could walk up and grab as many plates as you wanted and others you could just ask your server if you wanted more, or get the chef to make you something special on request.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Honestly I like the alien food. That's the Good Autism. "You're in space so the food has to be alien food. Yeah it's a purple hotdog between two sponges. It's an alien delicacy." It shows effort and an admirable determination to be authentic first. Good Autism. The rest of the hotel should have been similarly spergseigned.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Agreed.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous
        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          imagine if they had one named JIZZ

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >Canto Bight

          They keep trying to make this shit a thing. It's never going to be a thing. No-one is ever going to like Last Jedi.

        • 4 days ago
          THE_JEWS_KILLED_JESUS CHRIST

          >15 dollars for a gayged-up Martini

          Utterly insane.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >literally cut corners
          Symbolic.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >drinks menu doesn't have moronic space names

          They knew better than to frick with exhausted parents who are locked in a prison with their children and who need a god damn drink

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            read it again
            its dripping in moron names

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Sorry, I meant
              >doesn't have only moronic space names
              so emotionally exhausted parents needing to dull the pain of 24 hours confined with their hyperactive, likely bored offspring don't have to try to play Guess The Wacky Space Name for a glass of pinot or a double whiskey or whatever

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          3k per night and still having to pay for food? Frick that corporate greed shit

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >food
            >whiskey is food
            I like your style Anon

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          If alcohol and food were included the thing might have survived. You can't charge people $3,000 a night then make them pay $10 for a fricking martini.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            A martini is $15

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >A Martin Codax for 39$
          Grim

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >20 dollarydoos for a beer
          Holy shit

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          > American "wine".
          > 160 fricking dollars.

          lmao

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Like you've had wine that doesn't come from a box.

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              My point is that I AM having a wine from a box, and it's a truckload better than whatever shit comes from the "Wagner Family". And it was 15 bucks for 6 liters.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Show breasts, woman.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >best I can do is 10 Calamari Flan

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Might as well post the culinary delights of Didney Warts.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous
        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >$3,000 a night and you had to pay for your own meals
          Top kek

          You get free goldish and trailmix.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Reminds you of Ahoska doesn't it Anon?

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              imagine if they had one named JIZZ

              Disney retconned Jizz into Jatz 🙁

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Bullshit

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Still not seeing any blue milk

                They have it on tap.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Not from the alien titty?

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                now id definitely buy that drink for a dollar if they did that

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                OT bros VS Sequel Trilogy homosexuals

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                which way white man?

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >The galaxy's rarest and valuable
                Disney is even outsourcing the 7 word descriptions of their menu items to Pajeets.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                let me guess, it has expensive ingredients AND THEN THEY PUT GOLD ON IT TO MAKE IT 5000 DOLLARS

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >you dont' even get to keep the ice cream machine

                frick off.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                This is misleading because it's attached to the Skywalker Ranch tickets or something like that. Basically you're paying 5 grand to go there and they celebrate with these drinks.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                The drink (technically three) very costs that much.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                i heard about you, gtfo my website

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                why not just serve curries
                they already look like random piles of slop

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                IM GONNA JATZ!!!!!!!

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Imagine the shits.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                They'd be green. Eating lots of blue food dye makes your shit bright green. Pic incredibly related.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Drinking tons of this crap and shitting vibrant bright neon blue/green the next day was alarming.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                They'd be green. Eating lots of blue food dye makes your shit bright green. Pic incredibly related.

                You two already have cancer, btw.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                [...]
                They also have carbonated version of blue milk.

                [...]
                Sadly, Disney missed that opportunity.

                [...]
                I think the base cost of the drink's ingredients is like 2-3 thousand buckaroos?

                >DUDE what if we put blue and green food coloring into food?
                >SCI-FI!
                Disney's imagineers are creatively bankrupt DEI hires.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >retconned Jizz into Jatz
                did not know this
                where has the heart gone? the soul? At least make it canon. Like, the Republic renamed it after an incident involving a famous Jizz-wailer and... some Gungans or something

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                Arnotts should sue them

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            All you can eat, tho

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Why the FRICK does it have that many ingredients

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            because its industrially made and they want you dead

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            and a very short expiration date

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >Americans can’t even have some cake without ingesting 50 cancer causing compounds

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            The USA and Canada exist as dumping grounds for petroleum company by-products since theyre legally allowed to be used in foods

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Why not just make them fresh? Cake is extremely cheap and make a cake bar out of them is quick action that no skilled labor can do with instructions.
          This is assuming this is just at that hotel. Obviously if they have them in like 20 places that makes sense.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous
    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Might as well post the culinary delights of Didney Warts.

      Disney doesn't know what to do with food in Star Wars because food is usually shown as being gross hyper processed astronaut slop. They keep trying to nail down what "star wars food" is because of Harry Potter and Game of Thrones, and nothing has stuck.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Those are just emergency rations. These disney fricks are too moronic to just cook a steak and call it "bantha steak"

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      They would have made a buttload of money just opening a Star Wars themed restaurant with these dishes. They looked like the best part of the whole two days.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        that dessert was taken straight from pandora land btw
        i was half expecting blue popcorn to be sold as well

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Ukrainian Sling-Ding

  11. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Heres your $3000 per night hotel room bro

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      unironically looks like the prison in Andor

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >look daughter who has zero interest in Star Wars, we're in "SPACE" and totally not in an overpriced prison cell
        Disneyland wasn't literally hell last time I was there

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >unironically looks like the prison in Andor
        oh my fricking god

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous
    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Black folk

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Would you do it with your SW girlfriend on a star cruiser bed?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        That's basically the only fun activity in the whole damn hotel. There's no pool, no weight room, no arcade, and the bar is obscenely overpriced to deter people from getting drunk.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          >ywn swim with a Resistance life guard and train with a Zabrak PT

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous
    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      It's the fricking futuristic prison experience.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Fortress prison would have have been way cooler.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      They didn’t even offset the starfield graphic from the window to create a convincing parallax illusion. Walt must be spinning in his grave.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >hey since this is just a concrete building and not actually a spaceship should we build it a little bit bigger, so the $4000 hotel rooms aren't the size of a maximum security cell in a federal penitentiary?
      >no

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      For reference, you can stay at the Home Alone 2 hotel in a room like this for $2000 per night

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        You can get on a 7 day cruise with food and booze included for about that much for the whole thing.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        how did the mcallisters afford dat house tho

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          It’s all on the American Express card. Peter McCallister was debtmaxxed

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          The dad was mobbed up.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      This looks like IKEA had a Star Wars themed inventory season and some 10 year old got his parents to decorate his room with it

  12. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Be honest Cinemaphile, how many nights could you afford to stay at the Galactic Starcruiser™ at $3000 a night

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I could stay for a solid 30 minutes

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        They should turn it into a love hotel

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I could stay there 20 days before I went absolutely broke

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      10 days and it is over for me

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I could stay for the weekend (plus a day before or after).

      >ywn frick Jenny raw in your Galactic Starcruiser bed while watching The Clone Wars
      It isn't fair...

      Possibly the greatest tragedy in all of this...

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      6 hours

  13. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    jfc

  14. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Still not seeing any blue milk

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      They have it on tap.

      They also have carbonated version of blue milk.

      Not from the alien titty?

      Sadly, Disney missed that opportunity.

      let me guess, it has expensive ingredients AND THEN THEY PUT GOLD ON IT TO MAKE IT 5000 DOLLARS

      I think the base cost of the drink's ingredients is like 2-3 thousand buckaroos?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous
        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          A metaphor for what they did to the SW franchise.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous
          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Granola bar served with a splash of sweet potato soup. I will never get this.

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              its a smart way to charge alot for a 1 dollar bar of granola and some slop poured on top

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Their portion size for mac and cheese with nuggets is hilariously small.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                jenny said that the food on the galactic cruiser was one of the few good things

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                She's an autistic moron, of course she likes the things with the bright colours.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >3 dumplings
                >4 sauces

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                jawa size

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            yodas butthole
            yodas foot dust

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              It's a transition through the various states/conditions of yoda's butthole. Green pubic hair galore when he was young, lots of goopy shit in his middle years, and prolapsed in his elder years.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Are those coffee beans? Wtf were even trying to do?

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          yes that's correct I said serve it to me in a mop bucket

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >base cost of the drink's ingredients is like 2-3 thousand buckaroos?
        Is it poured out of Scarjo's vegana?

  15. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    They should've just had an Ethiopian restaurant handle catering. Injera looks pretty alien, and it would be Disney's subtle way of calling paying customers starving Black folk who eat poopoo.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      The Ethiopian restaurant in Animal Kingdom Lodge is fricking fire though

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Frick I didn’t even know they had food in Ethiopia.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        if you can call it food
        its fricking disgusting

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      The meal so sloppy that it started #slopgate.

  16. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Too bad they didn't have Kessel Run Porg Cutlets.

  17. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    no twilek hookers

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Now that would be something worth going for. Live singing Twilik pop star who moonlights as a ho on a pole after the kids have gone to bed.

  18. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    I cannot wait for Skibidi World in like 15 years

  19. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >ywn frick Jenny raw in your Galactic Starcruiser bed while watching The Clone Wars
    It isn't fair...

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        is that... is that a slave leia costume

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          It's Huttslayer Leia, you fricking chud

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            kek it almost sounds like Leia The Hutt Layer

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Leia The Hutt Fricker

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              More like Nuttslayer

              Leia The Hutt Fricker

              she looks like a bawd to me

              you lost

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                i dont even like star wars so this means nothing to me

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                5 movies set in the most popular franchise ever and you didn't even break half your investment cost, and now everyone hates you and the brand.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                in the next decades they will start studying this shit in business schools

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >that titcow on the left
                sauce?

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            More like Nuttslayer

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            she looks like a bawd to me

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            First they came for the Jizz, now they came for the Slave Leia Bikini. Star Wars has fallen.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      will her fas transmit to our children?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I wouldn't even care

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          She brought her Disney Store exclusive Gammorean Guard sandals.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          literally built to bear my Aryan sons

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Disgusting feet

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I'm going to listen to her talk for the next 4 hours to pretend that anyone could ever love me

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      i wanna lick her armpits, she has nice pits

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      is jenny's sister a troony or her voice just sounds like that?

  20. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    you already know anon because you already watched a youtube video about it

  21. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This room would have been fine if it was the same price as all the other disney hotels. Also remove all the larping stuff and just have darth vader walk around the breakfast room like mickey and donald at any other hotel. Kids would go nuts. The biggest mistake is how this dumb hotel has to be “canon” to the movies. Nobody cares if fantasyland is canon, they still want a picture of Gaston.

  22. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Price
    >Bad Advertising
    >Promised experiences didn't work for half of the guests who payed thousands

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      You forgot guests are literally stuck in a pod with no windows

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        What if your fat kids wouldn't stop farting and shidding from all the colored goyslop

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        That's an intended part of the experience people paid for and enjoyed tho

  23. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Jenny Nicholson and Giant Bomb's dead corpse just linked up, sneed it or feed it?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Forgot the fricking picture

  24. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    It was based on NuWars which no one likes nor wants. Also twi'lek sex slaves don't come with your room

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      If you play your cards right at the Captain's Table, you might get to bed Captain Queefvan.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Not impressive, I can paint my wife blue. For $5K a night my alien sex slaves better be young and firm with head tentacles that I can grab onto

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah for $5k I expect a first order clad hooker to appear in my bunk each night

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >sex with hot ayylmaos
      Not on Kathy's watch!

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Who did she frick to get where she is? She brings nothing to the table.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          she started as a secretary for Spielberg and then she married Frank Marshall

  25. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    nothing. for a beautiful moment in time a lot of value was created for the shareholders.

  26. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >want overpriced soda
    >it's a literal bomb
    Thanks, Disney.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      coke is stored in the ball

  27. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    It was expensive, and it was focused on sequel shit which nobody really liked. Thematically putting it on a space ship and not Naboo was kind of stupid, because it meant you were just in a concrete bunker. They could have done a Theed or Coruscant kind of theme and it would have improved things immensely.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      naboo is so fricking gay though

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        your fricking gay

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >he's a homosexual your highness
        >and too old

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          godamn what i wouldn't give to see them in an orgy

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous
        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          godamn what i wouldn't give to see them in an orgy

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            you covered up the best one

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous
        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Would

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Why was it so expensive? It was a bunch of shitty millenial actors and over priced food.
      and yeah it could have been a separate extension to the starwars park, just reserved for guests who pay to stay there.

      They could have done a lot of better shit.
      An amusement park designed by Cinemaphile would be kino.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >Why was it so expensive?
        They thought people would pay. If they hadn't based it around sequel shit and released it after really skewering the franchise and the fanbase, they very well might have.

        Star Wars will unironically go down in business history as the most squandered, wasted easy lay-up there ever was. They turned a golden goose into a nothing.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        that dagobah heat

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        this would be rad if star wars wasn't ruined by maoist feminists

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't even call them that, they're something even worse

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        If this came out in 2010 I would be there right now for the 5th time.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >star killer grafter on the deathstar like a tumor.

  28. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This may have worked better on a themed cruise ship

  29. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This thread reminds me that Walt Disney's exact last words where: "Whatever you do, don't let the israelites get the place"

  30. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Because modern hotels look way better and are actually comfy. It's the one thing that doesn't make sense about sci-fi future, it's all incredibly stiff and uncomfortable. When in reality, we know that humanity has always been striving for maximum comfort. Everything we invent is designed to make our lives more comfortable. But you have to suspend your disbelief and pretend like people 1000 years in the future will be using plastic furniture.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >it's all incredibly stiff and uncomfortable.
      It's because it's supposed to be a space ship, and space ships have to make use of as much space as possible.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I think it's more because sci-fi writers lack visual imagination and the sets are cheap. It's not just Star Trek. It's every sci-fi set in the future. Everything has to be stiff because that's the visual language we are used to in sci-fi.
        Sci-fi writers are foolish and lack vision.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          More likely that disney is just moronic. A "luxury starcruiser' wouldn't look like military or transport ship.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            I feel like you're purposefully missing my point that this encompasses all sci-fi. This is a sci-fi wide problem. Everything has that exact same visual language and the fact that this could easily pass as a Star Trek ship.

            It actually originates from 2001; A Space Odyssey. Sci-fi has not deviated from the visual language in 60 years. And again, it's because they are foolish and lack vision.

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Star wars had a different look to anything that came before it. Next gen also had lots of room and looked very comfy

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >Star wars had a different look to anything that came before it.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                You are forgetting the "dirty, lived in" look. The Falcon is a better example of this. You need to look at pre-SW films, and post SW films to see the line.
                The Fifth Element had a luxury spaceliner, and it was extremely cool.

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >Star wars had a different look to anything that came before it.
                moron
                that pic is from 2001, which predates star wars by 9 years

              • 4 days ago
                Anonymous

                >that pic is from 2001, which predates star wars by 9 years

                But that doesn't look anything like Star Wars
                actually it probably was the main reason Lucas went for everything looking so used and worn as an aesthetic

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >it's supposed to be a space ship
        >Implying there is no luxury space ship made for comfort and amusement like those big cruise water ship

  31. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    disney has no idea what they are doing with star wars at all. management is completely politicized and crashing the company with no survivors.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >maybe non-white, queer, and trans folk have a right to exist
      >WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT POLITICAL YOU'RE GENOCIDING ME AND KILLING STAR WARS AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE

  32. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Read some things about other passengers breaking the immersion. Kids on ipads watching dumb videos so people couldn't hear the actors. Basically the same ignorant shit that goes on in the rest of the park that they wouldn't have let people get away with years ago.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Kids on ipads watching dumb videos
      Amazing how this manages to ruin every aspect of life, and the kids being raised by these tablets are going to create a troony horror that zoomers could only dream of

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Frick the actors, go to a Renaissance faire for for $10 if you want to larp that much. No one wants to pay thousands of dollars to vindicate some moron wannabe actor in a costume making minimum wage

  33. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >1000 years in the future
    Star Wars takes place a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I thought it was Star Trek because it looks like a Star Trek set. It's almost like sci-fi writers have zero visual imagination. It's all the same shit over and over for 60 years.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        It's almost like you're a fricking idiot.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >writers do set design
        This is who you share a board with.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          If writers aren't establishing setting and helping storyboard, then what the frick are they doing? Writing tumblr quips?

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >if writers aren't doing all this not-writing then what the frick are they doing, writing!?
            This is who you share a board with.

            • 4 days ago
              Anonymous

              Most actual writers are also directors. Kubrick was a visionary. He wrote and visualized. Writing snarky quips is not really writing. Sure, you get your gig that your union extorted for you, but you're not REALLY writing.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            >Writing tumblr quips?
            Well it is nu wars.

  34. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >be very talented makeup artist
    >stuck working for fricking Disney in a dumb hotel
    If that's their profession there has to be better career options

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >make-up artist
      Movies or TV, professional models, politicians, kids birthday parities how many options do you think they have?

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        If they're really good at what they do and have connections from working with Disney I'm sure they could find better work almost anywhere else

  35. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Cost to profit ratio'd, put simply. They sunk so much money into it, but the exorbitant prices coupled with the lack of interest just kept it from working out.

  36. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This shit should have been a goddamn slam dunk. EASY.

    Have any of you been to Medieval Times? It's basically:
    >Pre-show introduction, look at horses, characters talk to you in gathering area, a few intros, then guided to your seats
    >While you eat, There's theatrics, some story setup, and it goes through the whole show
    >afterwards, some characters stick around and you can hang out and drink a bit more

    It would be a bit contrived, but with the right tone and some silly droid narrating:
    >The audience is a bunch of tourists or some VIP rich folk traveling on a space ship that also has "MacGuffin" cargo idk
    >Pre show sets up a few characters and hints at some sides.
    > Guided into seating area, order food, room is styled like a spaceship with screens, windows, and some machinery in the seats
    > the show is live lightsaber shit, robots, flips, blasters and pyro, whatever the frick you want, taking hostages, heroic kids in audience, etc.
    >It ends, the ship lands, you can lounge around "on the ship" drinking areas or exit Directly into Star Wars Land where a celebration/parade is taking place and the characters are walking around..

    yes it's a live dinner show while your "plane is being hijacked by terrorists"

  37. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    You’re having a great time, eating food coloring…
    And then this homosexual shows up…

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >audience gets an ear full of jizz

  38. 4 days ago
    Anonymous
  39. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    they choose the most boring parts for the gimmick hotel, followed by making it fricking expensive, its strange how people who have been doing gimmick hotels for decades by this point seemed to have lost the plot this hard

  40. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    claustrophobia without the charms of being in the woods.

  41. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >What went so fricking wrong with the Galactic Starcruiser hotel?
    1. Management insisted it be set in the sequel era which everybody hates.

    2. The b***h in charge, Ann Morrow Johnson, is a DEI Yale architect who has absolutely no idea what actual fun is. She built a billion dollar stage for lame-o dinner theater involving settings and characters absolutely no one cares about.

  42. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    You did watch all 4 hours, right?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      single handedly

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I marathoned it over 5 days

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous
  43. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    can you imagine paying thousands to stay in a hotel room with no windows

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >hotel room
      IT'S AN IMMERSIVE INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE

  44. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Do you really think this food requires all sorts of special gadgets and techniques? These all use common cooking methods, just gussied up with weird colors and/or shapes.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Oh you'd be surprised. I am willing to be there are a handful of dishes that require very niche and proprietary commercial machines. What this is, is the very pinnacle of made to order industrial foods. Where it all went wrong, is the human element. Many of these things are like that fricking Mulan sauce, or those computer designed crisps in the 80s: you'll never see it again.

  45. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    anons watching from the cuck pods while i frick the hostess dressed up as a twilek

  46. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This scam HAS to be some sort of israelite Frickery colossal tax write off scam for their ~~*Chinese Commie*~~ investors.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      There are far cheaper ways to get far better write offs. This is just grotesque incompetency enabled by Blackrock funding.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        god draws in straight lines while the devil draws in puzzles and anagrams. never try to understand the decisions of business people; they aren't human

  47. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Jenny Nicholson videos might be good if they had an editor and someone other than Jenny Nicholson narrating them.

  48. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    So your kids get to watch you frick your wife?

  49. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >pay thousands of dollars for an immersive experience that's so tightly scripted you aren't allowed to deviate from it

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      ARE YOU KELVARN BANTHAPOODOO? HERE ARE SOME PLANS I STOLE FOR DEATH STAR #7!

      Soul crushingly lame

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I'm cringing already

  50. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    disney sould have just opened a star wars themed brothel if they wanted to charge people $6000

  51. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    If you did this same concept but with Star Trek and the ship was the TOS era Enterprise (NCC-1701 no bloody A, B, C, or D) people actually would pay $3000/night for it.

    I know I would if I got to sit in the Captain's chair of a 2267 Constitution class battlecruiser. Or even something from the 2280s.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      They did it in Vegas in the 90s. It closed.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        Vegas was a poor venue and nostalgia wasn't a big thing in the 1990s like it is now.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          It lasted for 10 years and only closed cause 08 was a shitshow in general. Licensing fell through and nobody knew who owned it anymore so it's rotting now.

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          I would argue Vegas is the only good venue for a Star Trek restaurant, everyone going there is looking for kitschy shit outside of the ordinary and it's THE destination for Trek conventions for decades

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe but the actual Enterprise should be in Iowa or San Francisco.

  52. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    It doesn't even look like star wars
    It's more like something from the 5th element

  53. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Nothing super elaborate, but you always have to put time into learning a new menu and presentation. This had all kinds of weird shit, done weirdly. Granted, none of it actually sophisticated or complicated.

  54. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Should have just ripped of the Fhloston Paradise concept from 5th Element and painted a Star Wars veneer on it

    Vacations should be relaxing

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      They did rip off the Phlogiston homosexualdice thing with the alien lounge singer b***h

  55. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Who even has the money for this shit now? Remember that ultimately this is still a "funpark". Who goes to funparks? Families. Can you think of families able to spend 8K+ per kid per night to stay in a glorified bunk bed? People with money aren't that stupid, and those who can't, won't.

  56. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    I got through 20 minutes of the Jenny Nicholson video. Literally all she does is whine about Disney wasn't israelitey and tricksy enough in their marketing.

    PLEASE israelite ME HARDER, BOB CHAPEK

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >Literally all she does is whine about Disney wasn't israelitey and tricksy enough in their marketing.
      She complains about Disney being too israelitey in literally every department. Marketing in particular she complains that they weren't at all transparent about what the frick you do, and the only way to know is to spoil at least some of the experience by looking up other people's videos who have already gone.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        She actually complains that Disney wasn't israelitey enough. She b***hes that their videos about the hotel looked lame. The looked lame BECAUSE THE HOTEL WAS LAME. The videos were honest.

        She b***hes that the promo videos didn't contain enough israeliteing so as to make the lame-ass hotel look cool even though it wasn't.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >Marketing in particular she complains that they weren't at all transparent about what the frick you do, and the only way to know is to spoil at least some of the experience by looking up other people's videos who have already gone.
        This is a moronic complaint. Disney was right not to spoil the storyline stuff.

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