What went wrong?

What went wrong?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They decided to make movies after the first one

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      this but the third
      also spielberg forced crichton to write a sequel novel to adapt rather than simply have him write a screenplay

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Basica b***h casual conventinal wisdom wrong opinion homie

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      fpbp
      The only one that was close to acceptable was TLW and that was really only on a conceptual level. The legal fallout of the events of the first movie and corporations/poachers trying to get their hands on the remaining dinosaurs is a neat idea and a T-rex roaming around a city at least makes for a fun schlocky blockbuster sequence, but that's where the positive ended, the movie still shouldn't have been made. Everything after that has just been throwbacks and rehashing the high points of the original over and over again but with somehow increasingly worse special effects.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >with somehow increasingly worse special effects.
        Maybe once World came around, but TLW and JPIII has some of the best special effects in the series.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        lost world had good action and the raptors in the fields is kino but spinosaurus was better and whoever decided to remove the spino from the JP3 logo and covers can forever burn in hell eating dicks every day

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Aw shit I forgot about the raptors in the field. I remember seeing that in the theater and getting Goosebumps because I was so freaked out. Fricking gold.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            lost world had good action and the raptors in the fields is kino but spinosaurus was better and whoever decided to remove the spino from the JP3 logo and covers can forever burn in hell eating dicks every day

            Shit, I also forgot
            >people hiding from t-rex in a cave behind a waterfall
            >snake slithers onto guy's shoulder
            >guy freaks out and runs out of the waterfall
            >waterfall just turns red
            Maybe I need to rewarch that movie

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              That was a cool effect, still laughably moronic how it happens, though.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I think you hear a crunchy sound too.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Anon I think you watched it on tv. Get it on dvd because you actually see him get eaten which has been cut out A LOT

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Lost World is just a bunch of “wouldn’t this be epic?” moments, but there is no attention given to the characters or story to make any of those epic moments make sense.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yes and no. Nick Van Owen's character is motivated through his ties to GreenPeace to disrupt any human interference with the islands animals and ecosystems. Sarah Harding is there because she out of everyone Hammond sends is the most qualified to bring back information that he wants to know about, InGen is there as antagonists to the heroes and threat to the dinosaurs showcasing the worst of human presence with the animals, and this is all before we even get to Rolan Tembo and why he's there and he's arguably probably the best part of that movie.

            Malcolm was there as a tie-in to the previous film, even more so than the cameo of Ellie and Tim. He was out of place with his girlfriend being there sure, but his adopted daughter who is black and does gymnastics shows up to. It threw off the needed family dynamic.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >that pic
              WTF Jurassic Park is real??????

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Always was.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      fpbp
      The only one that was close to acceptable was TLW and that was really only on a conceptual level. The legal fallout of the events of the first movie and corporations/poachers trying to get their hands on the remaining dinosaurs is a neat idea and a T-rex roaming around a city at least makes for a fun schlocky blockbuster sequence, but that's where the positive ended, the movie still shouldn't have been made. Everything after that has just been throwbacks and rehashing the high points of the original over and over again but with somehow increasingly worse special effects.

      Everything would've been fine if they just followed Crichton's sequel story. He basically wrote a screenplay in novel form. It was all island-based, too. Lush jungle shit, extremely adventerous, unhinged, and a bunch of the shit sequels still stole unused setpieces from it.

      I hate Spielberg to the bone for what he did to TLW. The OG outline would have easily rivaled the first movie, and like with Alien/Aliens could've been a near-perfect duology.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Everything would've been fine if they just followed Crichton's sequel story
        they could never have done that, in the original both ian malcolm and dr hammond died.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          You don't understand, The Lost World's novel was basically written as a sequel to the film, not the novel.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I mean not really, the only real retcon was Malcom not dying and even his death had only been a small bit at the end of the first novel so that wasn't huge, the big thing was that it just felt like Crichton wasn't really trying as hard as he normally did, which to be fair he probably wasn't since he only did it because the studio begged him too and he mostly used it to shore up plot holes in the first book

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I'm not talking about the consistencies with the first novel or even with the film, I'm explicitly stating that The Lost World novel itself was made (forced) with the first film in mind.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          t. hasn't read the story

          Hammond's role was irrelevant whether dead or alive and Ian Malcolm survived and was the lead. Crichton did a 'slight' retcon with him; he was on the brink of death, but didn't die.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The Lost World movie is no masterpiece, but the novel is trash, and I say that as the biggest Crichton mark on the planet. It's far and away the worst thing he ever wrote.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Get fricked, you're no fan.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I'm absolutely no fan of a generic adventure novel that feels like something written solely out of a contractual obligation. It's an extremely lazy rehash, and the evolutionary theory/triggers of extinction events stuff that takes the place of the ethics of genetic engineering and chaos theory of the first novel is very hollow in comparison. Clearly Crichton recognising he can't JUST write about dinosaurs chasing motorbikes and scrambling for something that sort of looks like the meatier content of the first novel if you really squint at it. I quite like a few individual scenes, the stuff in the rex nest is absolute gold, but a few great standalone moments don't make for a great novel.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I don't care if he was a moneybawd, because without fail, all the best scenes come straight out of the novel, and all the shit parts are Spielberg's own bullshit.
              The hunter, the two T-rexes, the trailer on the cliff, raptors in tall grass (and a motorcycle setpiece chase therein that makes sense, but unfilmed), NO ballerina bullshit, NO king kong-trash, just the leads vs in-gen corporates on a jungle island with dinos running in the wild. It would've been great for a movie.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I'd say there are enough good ideas in The Lost World to consider it a good book but it for sure was a shadow of Jurassic Park and definitely felt like the contractual obligation it was. It pretty much read like a screenplay in novel form.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >"Oh no the dinosaurs have escaped..... again!"

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They became family movies

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    First two were cool.
    Third one was trash kino.
    World trilogy is goyslop.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Over reliance on cgi and weaponising raptors. JP 3 is pretty crap but its short and the spino was cool.
    Oh yeah all the characters after the first are boring cardboard cutouts

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    wtf is memoral day

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Remembering all the good goy soldiers.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't even watch Dominion, Fallen Kingdom was so godawful.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    First 2 were big and fun for the whole familly
    3 was a cheap action flick.
    4,5 and 6 are for children and horny parents.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Thematically and tonally the whole series is a mess. Paradoxically the new ones are more consistent in that regard and actually deliver the idea of messing with nature in a bad way much better because everything happens because of genetic monsters they cook up from zero. Sure they also consistently suck, but thematically are what the series should have gone towards after the first one.
    I dunno, in hindsight it's a really weird series when you think about it. The first one is a milestone in cinema, but isn't perfect either (mainly the kids, they are fundamental for Alan's character but are incredibly obnoxious).

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >mainly the kids, they are fundamental for Alan's character
      >he warms up to children by the end
      >every subsequent movie shows Alan and Dr. Sadler separated and childless

      Why did they do this?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I think it's a bad case of the mindset that plagues modern Hollywood
        >make movie
        >characters go through a clear character arc and come out changed
        >movie is a success
        >producers/investors: "Nice! Now do the exact same thing again!"
        At this point Dr. Grant has been struggling with the possibility of having kids for 30 fricking years. They don't care about growth, they care about repeating the successful formula over and over again until it stops turning a profit.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Any idea, no matter how clever or creative gets something lost each time it is reused

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    SUPA DINOSAUUUURS *AIR HORN*
    THE GOOD DINOSAURS VS THE BAD DINOSAURS!!!
    GO RAPTOR-CHU!!! USE BITE ATTACK!!!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      The idea of raptors being intelligent or at least more intelligent than primates was established in 3 and training or at least measuring that level of intellect with them is a neat idea on paper, but to then have Chris frickin' Pratt show up with his StarLord tier acting playing with CG actors and geeks flopping around in bluescreen outfits in front of him and the smartest raptor is color coded, its like...

      Its Chris Pratt.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I feel like I'm the only one that likes the concept of "trained" raptors and raptor handlers. World dropped the ball making it all about action but in a better movie I think the concept could have been very well handled. Imagine a whole area of the park where you get to see raptors run obstacle courses as an attraction and an educational display of their intellect.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, I mean they're not dinosaurs, they're theme park monsters. And so, its not uncommon to think of the idea of getting them to do stuff like seeing if say a triceratops can do what we can train an elephant to do, instead of just letting them go eat and shit in the safari paddock with the rest of the moronic pachyosaurs and duckbills.

          I personally liked the idea of the second one and exploring ruins of other installations Hammond had set up. 2 was fun for the thrill of seeing a dinosaur in a city, but there were five islands he purchased with Isla Sorna and Nublar being the major ones. I'm curious what else could be happening and what other junk was left behind on the other three islands. Moving into more populated areas for the films is a mistake. Keeping it in that jungle environment is what made those movies special cause it added to the idea we were back in the time of dinosaurs on a deeper psychological level.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I'd have liked trained raptors if it had been the sole focus of the movie as the theme park attraction. Think of orcas and their trainers. Or actual birds of prey and their handlers. I thought the nu trilogy's progression should have been
          >train in park
          >attempt at training military if you absolutely had to
          >seeing training hold up once they've gone back into the wild
          Maybe even film it in the style of a documentary District 9 style.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The color red I think

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    SOUL SOULLESS SOULLESS
    SOULLESS SOULLESS SOULLESS

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Since dinosaurs can't talk, the kino potential was always very low. Compare it to the Planet of the Apes movies which have some similarities, but since the monkeys can actually talk and engage with the human characters there's a lot more potential. Jurassic Park could only ever be a boring version of zombies.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      What kind of room temp IQ take is this?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        He's right though. It's why every JP movie plays out exactly the same.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Please, expand on that.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            You can't do a lot with dinosaurs which is why every JP movie is a rehash of the first one.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              You probably couldn't, I could though.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              It's ironic that he/you used zombies as positive comparison, the most overabused and ran to the ground horror trope ever.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Mammal hands typed this. Next you're going to meme about us actually being feathered, I bet.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Since dinosaurs can't talk
      Excuse you!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This. The Reeve's monkey movies were good. The new Jurassic shart movies were embarrassing.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Since dinosaurs can't talk
      JP3 was all about how the raptors could communicate with each other and it was how their pack attack tactics worked
      alan fricking 3d printed the bone that made it work

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        What a moronic movie.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Reminder that the original concept for JP3 was supposed to revolve around dinosaur-human hybrids that were supersoldiers firing laser guns or some shit, and was dropped because they realized that was just way too stupid.
      Also reminder that the original Planet of the Apes had like 10 sequels that all fricking sucked ass wayyyy beyond even the worst JP sequel. The whole appeal of Jurassic Park is humans surviving against a form of nature that we've simply never encountered before. Not zombies or aliens or mutants, but simple-minded apex predators from far beyond our time.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        No, it wasn't, that was JP4.
        The original concept for JPIII was Grant living on Sorna.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Also reminder that the original Planet of the Apes had like 10 sequels that all fricking sucked ass wayyyy beyond even the worst JP sequel.
        Conquest is better than any JP film.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The new Apes trilogy was legitimately good, wdym? Precisely because they could do more with the monkeys than just "grr monkey mad monkey wanna kill". The new Jurassic world movies are fricking garbage because there isn't much you can do with angry lizards.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        pota3 was fricking kino, they time traveled to the 70s and set it all up.

        What a moronic movie.

        t. doesn't understand animals are actually smarter than most people think and are capable of communication through mainly non-verbal means

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >kino
    >kino
    >comedy
    >cashgrab
    >crime against humanity
    >kys

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >What went wrong?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      based. although, for guilty fun entertainment i do enjoy 3 a lot but in all sincerity there should've only been one movie.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        How could anyone enjoy 3? Literally nothing fricking happens.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Dr. Grant goes to the other island and survives a bunch of new dinosaurs. It's not that hard to understand.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          it wasn't meant to advance the overarching plot, it was always a b movie side adventure starring dr grant

          I actually enjoy the first two of the nu-trilogy as decent popcorn flicks but the third is a badly made film. Completely unwatchable garbage. Reboots that bring back original cast members are invariably cringe

          god no. jurassic world is one of the worst fricking films i've ever seen, it's just a step below the star wars sequels. didn't even bother with fallen kingdom or dominion.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            You like 3 but hate World? Frick JWFK and JWD but World was good, 3 is about as good as JWFK/D

            Dr. Grant goes to the other island and survives a bunch of new dinosaurs. It's not that hard to understand.

            It embraces the whack scenario and is just an adventure flick. Much better than all of the other sequels being exactly that but still trying to pose as some deep reflection on humans and nature.

            JPIII is the RE3 to TLW's RE2.

            Jurassic Park 3 is a film about cuckolding. Remember the themes of the former films? Life finds a way, survival, hubris of man, etc. Well now...
            >entire premise of the movie is about a cuck (William H. Macey) saving his kid from his wife's frickbuddy
            >Grant is a cuck, his entire arc from the previous films retconned, he even has to have dinner with Ellie's new boyfriend and their kid and then desperately has to call Ellie for her military boyfriend to come save him
            >mercenaries jobbed and cucked, don't do anything but cry and get eaten
            >t-rex the franchise mascot cucked
            >raptors are all cucks with a female alpha
            >ceratosaurus mogged and cucked by piles of feces
            >even spino gets cucked, no climactic end sequence, just gets scared off by another cuck William H. Macey with a flare gun...
            And the audience are the biggest cucks for having to sit through all this only for the movie to abruptly stop without a climax or conclusion and the army just shows up and everyone bails. Was the final 40 minutes of film left on the cutting room floor for budget reasons or what? JW2gays are less cucked.
            But anyway, yeah. JP3 is one big pile of shit.

            Oh it's dogshit man, I'm not arguing with you. I just really like the design of the Spinosaurus. Also, as an isolated scene on it's own the pterodactyl cage scene was pretty dope. honestly too good for that movie.

            I liked the spinosaurus and all the toys/merch/games I just couldnt sit through the movie, after the spino/rex battle nothing else happens
            Idk why people circlejerk over the pteranodon scene, it was alright but ultimately kind of stupid, like Billy gets killed who gives a frick about him or any of these people I hope they all die, Udesky was probably the best character

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Grant is a cuck, his entire arc from the previous films retconned
              Grant and Ellie weren't romantically involved.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                TLDR homie
                And Grant wasn't in a relationship with that b***h, ever. Them getting together in the last movie was the writers finally giving in on all the gays shipping them together for the past thirty years.

                >Grant and Ellie weren't in talks about having children and taking it to the next level but Grant was afraid of commitment until he went on the harrowing journey with the children and realized the importance of life
                You troons are complete fricking schitzos.

                >Idk why people circlejerk over the pteranodon scene, it was alright but ultimately kind of stupid

                It's actually a really good scene, as far as tension and mood goes but I'm with you on the Billy thing. I couldn't have cared less about him and his safety.

                when he leapt with the parachute and it was playing this intense opera music I was like "......." that guy did not earn that at all, and Idek why he did that in the first place

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                and Ellie weren't in talks about having children and taking it to the next level but Grant was afraid of commitment until he went on the harrowing journey with the children and realized the importance of life
                Post a link to when this is actually stated or stfu

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Grant and Ellie weren't romantically involved, you can clearly tell in the first movie. They're close colleagues.
                Everything you just wrote is actually headcanon.

                WTF they were literally talking about whether they wanted to have kids together or not and Ellie refers to Grant with pet names like "honey" etc.
                Are you baiting me?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Trying to find the dialogue but it seems YouTube doesn't have that exact skit afaik. But honestly I think you are seeing too much into it. They were completely asexual towards eachother, if they were together they'd have kissed at least fricking once.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                No, you're not being baited. You simply put too much importance and read way too deep into Alan and Ellie's relationship like some shippergay.
                And no, they weren't talking about having kids together. This is also the same conversation where she addresses him as Dr. Grant.

                They were in the first movie. JPIII made the ex-couple which kind of ruins the development in the first movie and Dominion made them a couple again. Pandering that I can't be angry about.

                No, they were not.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Let me guess, you believe Rugratz was all Angelica's fever dream while she was being raped by Stu or some shit?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Grant and Ellie weren't romantically involved, you can clearly tell in the first movie. They're close colleagues.
                Everything you just wrote is actually headcanon.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                They were in the first movie. JPIII made the ex-couple which kind of ruins the development in the first movie and Dominion made them a couple again. Pandering that I can't be angry about.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Dominion made them a couple again. Pandering that I can't be angry about.
                That was the worst part. If they turned Grant into a cuck for no reason in 3 the least they could do is make him a bitter old man who doesn't care about Ellie and is just obsessed with his work, but instead they rewrote him as living a miserable life of daydreaming about the life he never had with ellie and they make fun of him for never having children the whole movie

                No, you're not being baited. You simply put too much importance and read way too deep into Alan and Ellie's relationship like some shippergay.
                And no, they weren't talking about having kids together. This is also the same conversation where she addresses him as Dr. Grant.

                [...]
                No, they were not.

                Men aren't women, you will never be a woman, etc. Grant even makes a joke about their sex life to Malcom. Fricking have a nice day, please.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Grant makes a joke about their sex life
                No, he fricking doesn't. All he does is say they're together when Malcolm asks, and even then Grant says it in a fashion that's protective of Ellie because he knows Malcolm is a sleazeball looking to pump and dump her.

                Let me guess, you believe Rugratz was all Angelica's fever dream while she was being raped by Stu or some shit?

                Is that the cartoon equivalent of thinking Alan and Ellie were an item?

                https://youtu.be/jsoQzBLkA1g?t=117

                clearly engaged

                >Ellie throwing in a quip to clearly tease Alan about his aversion to kids means they have the hots for each other

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                lots of mental gymnastics for this schitzo headcannon you have

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Very few words for this non rebuttal you have.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                there is no rebuttal, you're a schitzo and you're handwaving everything that has to do with their relationship because... (???) you're a schitzo just trying to shitpost? Idk

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                You ok?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not handwaving anything. I'm going off exactly what the movie presented me. I'm not the one who put unwarranted importance on their relationship in the first place (for whatever reason, when the movie didn't even do this) only to go into JPIII with some shipgay mentality and get butthurt because Alan-kun didn't confess his undying love to Ellie-chan.
                Unlike you I understand the nuances of a friendly but professional relationship between a man and a woman.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >shipgay mentality
                YWNBAW

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Good, because only a woman would get upset that their OTP didn't happen.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                no one knows what you're talking about, dilate, men aren't women, the holocaust didn't happen, Christ is King, etc.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Christ is King and you're a moron.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                ?t=117

                clearly engaged

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >gets close and makes a sex joke
                If you actually believe that that constitutes as rock solid evidence of them being an item even though they don't even accidentally kiss even once throughout the whole movie, I compel you to leave your house asap and seek sexual intercourse with a femal of your species. Now.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Grant makes a joke about their sex life
                No, he fricking doesn't. All he does is say they're together when Malcolm asks, and even then Grant says it in a fashion that's protective of Ellie because he knows Malcolm is a sleazeball looking to pump and dump her.

                [...]
                Is that the cartoon equivalent of thinking Alan and Ellie were an item?

                [...]
                >Ellie throwing in a quip to clearly tease Alan about his aversion to kids means they have the hots for each other

                It more she called him honey

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                And? There are more times she addresses him formally.
                You think someone snarkily calling you sweetie means they're flirting with you?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Nowadays a literal chatbot has a better understanding of language and its usage than you.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              TLDR homie
              And Grant wasn't in a relationship with that b***h, ever. Them getting together in the last movie was the writers finally giving in on all the gays shipping them together for the past thirty years.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Idk why people circlejerk over the pteranodon scene, it was alright but ultimately kind of stupid

              It's actually a really good scene, as far as tension and mood goes but I'm with you on the Billy thing. I couldn't have cared less about him and his safety.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              There was a pteranodon scene in the first Jurassic Park book, it was nice to see it adapted

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It embraces the whack scenario and is just an adventure flick. Much better than all of the other sequels being exactly that but still trying to pose as some deep reflection on humans and nature.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          JPIII is the RE3 to TLW's RE2.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Oh it's dogshit man, I'm not arguing with you. I just really like the design of the Spinosaurus. Also, as an isolated scene on it's own the pterodactyl cage scene was pretty dope. honestly too good for that movie.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            meant this image. goddamn, i need to stop drinking an hour before work...

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >What went wrong?
    they turned the dinos into characters instead of keeping them acting like unpredictable wild animals.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Apologize.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I didnt realize people hated the sequel so much

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Apologize
      Uhh sorry for image related

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You can see from the change in the logos and the taglines the gradual decline of the series. Interesting.

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I actually enjoy the first two of the nu-trilogy as decent popcorn flicks but the third is a badly made film. Completely unwatchable garbage. Reboots that bring back original cast members are invariably cringe

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I honestly think FK got a lot of undeserved shit. It was a lot more refreshing than JW with what they did with the story and setting. People focused too much on its worst parts which are indeed bad but for what it is, I think it was fine. The third one was pure nostalgia wanking. A couple cool ideas but its a travesty that the final boss of this franchise are fricking grasshoppers.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Should have been a Dino Crisis movie.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        FK got the right amount of deserved shit.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Looking at them all lined up, those emblems are kind of a good indication of their movies.
    >Fleshed out original
    >Rough copy
    >oh shit, what are you doing
    >The first one again with less effort
    >even less effort and it's falling apart
    >frick it, burn the thing down, nobody cares

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Jurassic Park, much like Jaws, was a one and done, not everything has to be a franchise

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      no, it begged for a sequel and TLW was it, it just could have been better
      IMO JW was the most logical example of a third movie, finally see the park up and running but it all comes crashing down

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The Lost World was the worst one. Dunno why people think so highly of it. Spielberg himself admits it's shit.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      worst of the trilogy, third best of the saga.
      power rankings are JP>JP3>TLW>goyslop

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Piece of shit go frick off and die with your moronic tier lists.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          you can get mad all you want you know i'm right

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            JP > TLW > JW >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> JP3/JWFK/JWD

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Stop lying you worm.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >dede de de dede de de dede de de de

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Alan and Ellie weren't even together in the book, you frickheads.

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They didn't make JP4 even shorter runtime with an even more cool an crazy dinosaur

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      What dinosaur could they have done after Spino?
      Personally, I would have liked a film where the main dino stalking the group would be two Carnotaurus that can camouflage.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        they should have never done spino and just left t-rex as the big bad and have other medium dinos and had rex show up only once and awhile

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >they should have never done spino
          Wrong.
          >have other medium dinos and had rex show up only once and awhile
          Correct.

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    1, 2 and 4 were great.

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Villain becomes the good guy

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      All said and done, the rex destroying the cars was kind of a weak scene. I've seen webms of rhinos obliterating a jeep in seconds, a rex would shatter a car to tiny bits with a nudge.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I like to drive my Mercedes-Benz while listening to my Sony Walkman on my Beats By Dre headphones to the dinosaur park. When I get there I am very thirsty so enjoy a nice cold can of Coca Cola while calling my friend from my Sony Phone. I then head to the raptor enclosure but a big burly man wearing Timberland Boots rides past me on his Triumph Motorcycle which makes me drop my $20 Ben and Jerry's. An annoying zoomer is playing music from his Bose speaker while I wait in queue for the raptors, my feet hurt I wish I had a pair of timberlands. After the raptors I get hungry so check my Samsung smart watch and sure enough it's lunch time, I walk over to Yoshinoya and enjoy some over priced japanese food while watching movie trailers on the big Imax screen in the street. After all those carbs I start to feel sleepy so grab a Starbucks Iced Latte and do a little shopping at Pandora before heading back to my Hilton Hotel King-sized Suite. Phew what a day

    https://www.ranker.com/list/jurassic-world-product-placement/jtdesaulnier

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I mean, dinosaurs are always going to be cool to kids and they are always going to sell. Always. The problem with JP is that every other movie featuring dinosaurs that came before it was now obsolete and every other dinosaur movie that came after it had to live up to the standards that movie set. It was THAT big and it had within its production the literal best of the best the movie industry had. Editing, production, computer effects and animatronics; it was ALL there. And most importantly, it was all grounded in a very believable and realistic story. The second one came out and it built upon the previous film. The third one was good because it had the barebones of the previous two crews, giving props to Joe Johnston on his first director attempt, but by then the budget wasn't as big, the competition in theatres was huge and even though they had Sam Neill and Tea Leoni, she didn't have the right haircut. Regardless, that first run of those movies ensured that whatever dinosaur product you saw on the toy shelves had the Jurassic Park logo on it and every toy they had were real dinosaurs species with the distinct JP artstyle. Kids will always find dinosaurs to be cool, so you will always have toys sold.

    I didn't see the last two but I did see the reboot in theatres. Nothing against Bryce cause she is absolutely gorgeous and its great Vincent D'onofrio got a role as a bad guy he played flawlessly, but shooting it on digital ruined the feel of the environments and overusing CG where it was a treat for the original is a place to start. I saw it in 3D and when that scene of the sick dinosaur showed up for that callback to the first movie, I could see the edge of the digital element composite sticking out like sore thumb from the rest of the scene and background. Amateurish things like that would have never flown in the first, never mind other two movies. It had drifted so far from the original premise the novel set for the first movie while aping that film throughout,.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >she didn't have the right haircut
      You take that back. Pixie cut Leoni was sex.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        My god, man....come ON....

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Take it up with my erection, I don't make the rules.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Your erection and penis in general is in no way conducive to whether Tea Leoni's hairstyle in JPIII was suitable and fitting for her. The pixie cut could have firt for any other role but stood out like a sore thumb in Jurassic Park.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Have you considered that Tea Leoni is hot in all forms?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Indubitably.
                ....just not in Jurassic Park III.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                If not hot, then very cute.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Tea Leoni was only there because she sucked off Steven Spielberg for her role in Deep Impact. He gave her a role in JP3 to return the favor and to keep her mouth shut (while not around his wiener)

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Eeeeewww.....
            Imagine looking up to see googly eyed bespectacled Steven Spielberg rolling his head around and signing because his shrivelled cheesy smelling mutilated vinegar tasting schlong is in your mouth all for the privelege of sharing the screen with William H. Macy.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Wow, Tori Spelling is looking GOOD.

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Should have just went all the way in on the mutant dinosaurs as weapons instead of suddenly dropping it in dominion.

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I don't even remember anything from the first three movies, other then one being really good, one being meh, and one of them being really boring.

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I don't think I've ever cringed harder at anything than when the clone girl jumped forward with no buildup to do the hand thing like it was some heroic passing the torch thing.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        that hand shit is so goddamn stupid. in dominion he uses it on two huge untrained dinos and it works

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I wonder how many morons are going to go to a national park and try doing that to the wild life.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >only one guy ever was eaten trying the same thing the point being he didn't have a bond
      >it just werks on every single other dino for anyone in the protag role no matter what
      Fricking How to Train Your Dragon did the same thing and I hated it.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Turning the dinos into pokemon was the worst thing about these stupid movies.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    they completely dropped the horror element

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >What went wrong?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There was nothing wrong with this.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There was nothing wrong with this.

      why was this in the film

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        To reinforce how Eric managed to survive on a dinosaur island for 2 whole months.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          they said the piss attracted the spinosaur
          why the frick would he keep that piss around

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            The Spinosaurus was probably attracted to large amounts of it, not a small vial-full he probably sprinkled around the perimeter of his tanker to keep other prying dinosaurs away at the faintest scent of an apex.

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I used to visit lost-world.com on my old Pentium II machine. I was really bummed when the website finally went down in 2020. I need to get around to downloading it off the waybackmachine and host it locally.

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Irks my autism that they couldn't be assed to make proper variations of the raptors from each film.

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The first was written by a medical doctor passionate about the subject matter
    The rest were written by studios

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Michael Crichton also wrote the Lost World, but like the Jurassic Park it was a very different book from the movie.

      Also, tfw you will never see a movie adaptation of Muldoon fighting a t-rex with an rpg-7.

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    First movie: Thriller with tech-dystopia-horror elements
    Everything else: Action-Adventure dinoshit

    They completely missed the point. The first movie had a sense of dread and terror.

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >What went wrong?
    Not enough 'Push to Close'.

  40. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    1>2>3>4>5>6

    Are there any other series where no film ever manages to be better than its predecessor?

  41. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Boomer risk aversion = IP churn unto death. With 3 they had something to play with.
    >oh god, rapid evolution what the frick is going on: dino zombies? oh god oh frick we have to kill them all before they become sentient
    >eco-terrorist bleeding hearts and nihilistic end times cultists working against this
    >Militaries want to control and use it against their better judgement, or initiate premptive MAD contingency plans because it's all going off the rails
    >weather modification technology has to go public to freeze out the lizard c**ts
    >sorry folks, but everyone's going to get hairier, especially women
    Incapability to read the fear in the air and the trajectory of current trends in the public's mind, or how that would play juggling archetypes. Dinos will never be not cool, and it's a testament to their lack of imagination and storycraft that they've driven the franchise into such mid depths.

  42. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >*click!* *click!*
    >FLIP! FLIP!

  43. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No Spino

    The third one is just as good as the first one and I'm tired of hearing people say it's not.

  44. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Jurassic Park felt like we were seeing the demise of the greatest iteration of DisneyLand to never exist, the greatest theme park that COULD ever exist. 'Live real dinosaurs' is a tagline for a product you can sell to the entire human race. Its very idea would become something of a cultural milestone in someones life whether or not they went to Jurassic Park at some point. Literally on the cusp of opening and world wide acclaim, we just so happened to took the pre-opening tour with the other visitors and watched it all go to hell.

    I really dig all the fan art that's come out since conceptualizing what the park could have been like.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I am so mad that we don't have a video game or something similar that lets you explore the islands. Parks, abandoned architecture, all of it.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know the name of it off by heart, but a fan made game covering just that is on its way. It looks like a chill stroll through the setting and adds a few places we didn't see. It will be on Steam soon.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          You mean that game coming out on Dreams? You gotta have a PS4/5, unfortunately.

          Really excited for it, though.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, that looks like it.

  45. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    1>3

    [...]

    >>>new trilogy

    [...]

    shit>>>lost world

  46. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    probably women or something

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