What went wrong?
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
 DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
What went wrong?
What went wrong?
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Looks like kino is on the menu, but I've been wrong before.
Usually when the ~~*noses*~~ give it a bad review but the audience likes it it's good.
>79%
I fricking hate the verified rating. This is the worst Jurassic sequel thus far. Are people just dumber these days?
Yes. Audiences are worse.
It's much better than Fallen Kingdom. At least this one has Malcolm, Grant, and Sattler to redeem it a little bit.
idk man it felt like their roles were extremely forced and they were there for nostalgia and a big check - I sped watched the movie through a cam rip tho
Of course it's just for nostalgia. But I guess I'll take it though. Grant and Sattler finally get together, so that was Nice. At least they weren't ruined.
>Grant and Sattler finally get together
they were together in the first film you fricking zoomer homosexual
Their roles did feel forced as the other guy said but they were the only people actually
That's for the next series: Jurassic Universe: Dinosaurs in Space
~~*verified*~~
They are literally clapping because the characters from the first movie are doing the SAME EXACT SHIT they were doing back then
>Are people just dumber these days?
Yes. Because the moron above can't even tell that is a bad audience score. It's been 3 years since RT fricked with the audience score but the "free thinkers" of Cinemaphile who can't possibly be mislead by Hollywood tricks still think it's reliable
IMDB is more accurate.
The average American movie goer is a 280lbs mexican with a 95 IQ.
"Ohh I loav thees movie? Eet had the dinosa, eh the dinosa he go raaah, eh eet scare me, oh I loav joorasic parr, I weel get the jome VHS"
True kinotonian opinions aren't captured in movie rating aggregates
>The average American movie goer is a 280lbs mexican with a 95 IQ.
LA anon here
this guy theater-goes
Truthful poster
People rated it highly for this 10 second scene only. Buck and Doe showing up after 25 years is all the general audience cared about
ummmm sorry anon you're not allowed to have that opinion anymore, because after "What Is a Woman?" debuted, clearly audiences know best, at least at the current time
People like feeling as though they're a part of something and studios realized it's easy to achieve that feeling by constantly referencing past movies even if no one gave a frick about the moments being referenced until they became a reference. Seriously, WHO THE FRICK CARED ABOUT LEE3EEDEEEEEE SHAVING CREEAAAMMM XXXDDDD fricking Black folk and and and piiiiiiiiiiiisssss
It was the best in the World trilogy. Frick yourself redditor
>This smelly piece of shit is better than these other stinky running poos
Best in the world trilogy is the winner of the frickin special olympics you dumb queer
>I fricking hate the verified rating. This is the worst Jurassic sequel thus far. Are people just dumber these days?
Most people are NPCs, I heard people in the audience clapping and wooing. I walked out halfway through this.
>Are people just dumber these days?
Yes.
Is there a soijak version of this?
Not yet
Plot Contrivance: The Movie.
how big is his penis?
Why would you ask that baka
dude remember the characters from jurassic park
they're back
>they're back
a Dinosaur Movie
That crow evil dude terrified me as a kid.
>LOCUSTS
isn't this about dinosaurs? who cares about locusts.... just hearing about that makes me think it's gonna be awful wtf do bugs have to do with anything
dude the bible lmao
Yeah but this is Jurassic park. Why are bugs a threat in the film...
its so stupid. it couldnt be any more stupid if it was a boat stuck in the middle of the ocean and people kept getting helicopter rides off of it to go and do story stuff in other parts of the world but then they just come back to the boat because they needed to get a key in russia to unlock the door the button is behind to end the movie.
100 pts if you got the reference.
I don't understand how it got a lower score than Fallen Kingdom.
Critics were distracted by other things
Is this in the film? If I go to theaters will I see this?
No. This entire sequence (plus the prehistoric sequence) were cut from the final film.
Thank God.
>american film
Are they going to edit him out for the Chinese release?
Did Seth Rogan have a hand in this?
Cringe.
Is this another attack by the industry on Chris Pratt?
good point
is it worse then jurassic world 2 fallen kingdom?
not even dumb fun?
The dinosaur scenes are way better and they drop the mutant cosmetic Frankenstein dinosaur angle mostly.
Anyone with a brain didn't bother seeing it. Reviews are all 10/10 OMG so much fun
There's a scene where dinos escape an underground fighting pit and rampage through the streets. There's one shot of a guy in the town square on a fricking scooter being absolutely clueless and unaware right before he's eaten. It was so fricking stupid I laughed out loud.
It's not even that the dinosaurs came out of nowhere they where kind of walking around roaring and shit and this guy was just rolling right between them.
Did he have his airpods in?
It felt like it was supposed to be comedic. I loved it, frick hipsters.
>frick hipsters
What is this, 2010?
They still exist, Anon. Look at West Coast America.
>Look at West Coast America
Wait, let me check my backyard.
Nope, only queers and homeless people here.
>queers and homeless people here
what do you think hipsters are?
You.
Pratt ran some kind of donation drive raffle and whoever won got to be eaten in Dominon. That was the guy. COVID kind of fricked him over because they refused to fly him out to film with the rest of the cast so he didn't get to meet them or anything, they just green screened in his death.
lol, I bet he spent like 14 hours on some roasting hot soundstage getting barked at by BIPOCs and israelites and did it all for free
>the twist is that the original Jurassic park characters are clones made by super advanced dinosaurs and the entire movie is set in the far future
/thread
There I saved you 2 hours of your life
The first 2 Jurassic World films are unwatchable garbage so this one must be REALLY shit.
JW1 was the best sequel so far, of course, that's not a high feat, Fallen Kingdom was garbage.
Does Chris Pratt spend the entirety of the film holding his hands up to dinosaurs to stop them eating him for some reason again?
unironically yes
Thanks for this screencap. No way I am watching a Black person.
This guy only appears in one scene, though.
Genuinely curious, do you r refuse to watch ANY movie with black people in it? Including Pulp Fiction, Apocalypse Now, EVERY Star Wars (Vader is voiced by a black man), etc.?
Lmao fricking knew it would, cracked me up in the first 2
>If only you knew how bad things really are
at the very least this scene was fine they were doing it to confuse and distract beta
What is this Star Wars force push looking move
Wtf would this accomplish .....?
He isn't even looking at the dinosaurs eyes this is extremely lazy
Actually he is standing behind the dinosaur. What the frick is this
I guess all them have the Force now
>these are not the human you're trying to eat
See, this shit at least makes some sense with Blue and the other TRAINED raptors in JW since he was their alpha, but do they really expect the audience is dumb enough to believe this works on every fricking dinosaur and that Owen is just some dino whisperer?
I know FFS. I could suspend my disbelief in the first one because the raptors were still extremely dangerous the whole time, but in 2 Blue was just like toothless the dragon.
He's trying to open the door, get on the floor everybody walk the dinosaur
Imagine being a black woman and being ass Mogged by a red head mick. It’s literally over for BLM
its not common for white women to have big brappers like Bryce without race mixing, tho, they say the Irish are the n words of yuropeans...
I watched it, my normie classmates absolutely loved it
I thought it was okay at times. Horrible otherwise. the first 40 minutes? terrible, Alan and Sattler scenes? good minus the one where theyre in lab coats sneaking aroud in the labs. it was nice that they finally got to be together. its fricking weird that spielberg decided to seperate them.
It was weird that they brought bag Dodgson as CEO of BioSyn, he was a corporate spy iirc. I thought theyd bring him back to let him die like in the book(which was kino) instead they did a callback to Nedry.
I liked the therizinosaurus. Im glad it got screentime as its unquestionably the most based dinosaur ever. But the teamup with the rex at the end was gay as frick, literally just the same scene from the first jurassic world.
the humans drama was absolutely garbage. And the scene in italy or w.e it was was really annoying. the entire chase sequence just had shit happening fricking constantly.
and the absolute worst part. The locusts and clonegirl, what the frick was the point in all that except forcing the characters to the dino-place. They couldve just done dinos allover the world kino. Instead they rehashed the worst part of jurassic world 2 and 1.
overall 3/10 they had some cool dinos.
Critics liked the Batman and that’s the most boring piece of shit I’ve ever seen
Stop being obsessed with capeshit you fricking freak
what happened to the prehistoric times scene? it wasn in the movie.
How much screentime does she have? That's all I care about
shes all over the movie. so is my waifu
Imagine her and Christina Hendricks in a buddy cop movie where they have to go undercover at a milk farm haha that would be crazy haha can you imagine
no milk angle, but BDH's character is named Angela Sylvia Seymore and Christina's character is named Terri Irene Tucker Smith so the force calls them...breasts and ASS
The girls from the T.H.I.C.C Squad
Also there's a scene where they have to strip down to prove they're not wearing a wire but have to be searched very thoroughly haha crazy
gotta go undercover in one scene as Escorts to get close to the villain that has a thing for "MILFs" (the villain is played by Asa Butterfield) they run into Jessica Chastain whos an actual Escort that doesnt like them hording in on her turf but Asa actually thinks Bryce is his regular Escort and it fools him
Jurassic Park should have just been a one-off film. None of the sequels came close to capturing what made the first one a good movie
Yeah, but it was the most successful movie ever when it came out. There was no way they'd just let it stand alone.
Jurassic World is thematically the closest to JP anyway
The Lost World is the comfiest film in the series, but it suffers in the third act by taking the setting off the island.
Should've made a sequel about finding an ancient underground city/paradise where they find an ancient gateway that leads to a dinosaur planet on some farway galaxy.
Like Skull Island but in Space
Space dinosaurs would've been kino, instead we got Chris pratt running from giant mosquitos....bruh
There’s a space dinosaur movie coming out next year called 65
Let me guess, dinosaurs are shown to be a joke and easily dispatched by brave trans BIPOCs?
Dinosaurs are gay and most of them never existed in the first place.
Dinosaurs are objectively cool you contrarian moron
Dinos are a no-draw for me, brother. Their first main event in '93 is a classic, but the sequels were only passable and the World angle has sucked more with each match. Way past their prime after jobbing to Big Dimes Asteroid, and the current bookers are moronic. They're not a gimmick worth salvaging, except in video games
>most of them never existed in the first place
Anon, I...
They had an interesting premise with dinosaurs on the mainland.
And instead they decided to focus on locusts.
I hate the combination of nostalgia pandering while bringing wokeness along for the ride. Like they think they can break normies with this tactic
Disney paid off critics again.
I had never had hope for this one, the Jurassic World trilogy is just too glossy and blockbuster-y to be interesting. The first trilogy isn't good either; like Jaws, the franchise is carried by the magic of the first film.
IMO Jurassic Park is 1 trilogy.
>JP
>TLW
>JW1
Correct. JWFK could’ve been great, but they flipped the moronic switch with the clone girl and turned Bryce salad into a green peace nut.
The aviary scene in 3 is better than anything in JW honestly. JP3 needed a better director. I did like JW1 though.
Agree, but the rest of 3 was meh.
A lot of it was meh but it has some good moments. I've never read the script so I only know what made it into the theatrical cut. But I think it definitely could have turned out a lot better.
It kicks the shit out of the JW sequels at least.
JP3 is unironically better than JW1
Nah. I'll level with you and say JP3 has unreal CG and setpieces and Dr. Grant has a lot of kino dialogue, but
>cg doesn't match puppets (cg spino tear-assing through the plane like a raccoon, puppet spino just kind of slowly and ridgidly sways back and forth)
>ALAN/that's Cooper! dialogue that should have been on the cutting room floor
>raptors can't jump anymore and also can't climb
I hated it
>not a single good guy dies
>holding raptors back with the force
>the Giganotosaurus just popping on the screen to say look at my snout
>look at the Brontosaurus look at it walk
>pilot doesn't even feel like she's in the same movie as everyone else
>hollywood kids can only be little shitheads
>no mom I want to get raped and kidnapped frick you
>moms can only be fricking morons
>alright honey guess I have to let you learn the hard way
>blue just happens to be less than 50 feet away from their cabin
>the only fricking person she asks have you seen my kid HAS SEEN HER KID
the best part were the locusts I guess everything else is just lazy like as lazy as can be I feel bad like I just think even herbivores would be dangerous not like little cows and horses frick this movie makes dinosaurs look bad
>Implying horses and cows couldn't easily frick you up if they wanted to
that's exactly what I mean like a horse would kick the frick out of you but nah the dinosaur just chills out
>like a horse would kick the frick out of you
reminder the aryan kings of the steppe would ritually rape mares as a rite of passage
What was the horse wearing?
yeah there is definitely a lot to nitpick, like, was the Biosyn guy the sole head of the company? no other board members to tell him hes moronic?
Oh, so the locus have dino DNA? we're gonna need proof...THE GIGANTIC SIZE OF THEM IS NOT THE DEAD GIVE AWAY THO SORRY
>look guys, the laser pointer dino weapon isn stupid! see! look how not stupid it is! she could have just killed them but...BAM! DINO ATTACK INSTEAD!
nothing feels far away in this, everyone just teleports to where they need to be and find everyone easily. After they crash the plane in the frozen lak, then go down an elevator and one scene later they are at the tracking device location...IT EVEN TAKES QUEEN BRAPPER ALL DAY TO GET BACK TO THE LADDER!!!
also...THESE. ARE. NOT. DINOSAURS! (referring to pic related)
yeah characters teleporting was fricked
>dominion
Is this the thing they do where they use a keyword they don't want people googling like WW "1984" so that it clogs up search results?
At this point, they should just be making pic related.
>What went wrong?
Too many white people for the RT critics
Wait, I just realized something. Given the fact that the Giganotosaurus barely has screentime in the final product before he gets impaled by titanium clawed Therizinosaurus, why the frick did Colin make that comment about him being The Joker? Is there any part in the movie where it does a gamer moment??
Also asking now, did the Pyroraptor do anything that we didn't see in the trailers or was it basically just a cameo?
cameo
>Spoiler
Maybe fifteen seconds of a chase that the trailer doesn't show. That's all.
For me? It's the whole "dinosaurs in cities" thing. I don't give a shit about some dino let loose in Europe. The great thing about original JP was the dino island vibe. A few humans stuck on a jungle island populated by man-eating dinos, hunting them. No escape. Nowhere to go. No military, no help. It was adventure kino. "dinosaurs in cities" is what made JP3 flop. youd think they would have learned.
What do Claire and Maisie do when Owen is out hunting dinosaurs? Lesbian stuff?
Apologize.
For what? I love both of those movies.
JP > TLW > JP3 = JW > D > FK
I enjoy The Lost World. I find JP III boring though.
I always liked them fine
This movie was fricking terrible. Im just sick of this guys “humor” his dinosaur fetishism and his one dimensional characters. The whole jurassic park reboot was nihilistic cancer. Dinosaur worship: the movies.
chris pratt as shoehorned blockbuster action hero: 🙁
chris pratt as fat moron on reddit comedy show: 🙂
Never got into dinosaurs. Original is still good.
>No cool new dino
>Instead its just bugs
First 20 minutes were shit, poorly paced, and the spunky black lady was forced as expected, but overall I liked it a lot. The only thing I wanted to see was for that scene with the crabbing boat to be more than a 5 second clip to start the movie (I especially wanted them to pull up a crabbing pot and find it full of trilobytes).
When the locusts got out and we're burning everything down, the main bad guy (I forgot his name) started literally punching the air like a fricking 5 year old when the staff told him he had to evacuate and I actually couldn't believe it. I could write a book with all the dumb shit in this movie. The boring romance drama taking up like 70% of the movie also made me want to die from boredom.
>79% of bugmen clapped, cried and shit themselves at "things I remember" and have flooded the funko pop market for jokersaurus rex dolls
>he slid into my dm's
I nearly got up and left right then
How did we feel about our distant relative the Dimetrodon being in the movie?
I got jump scared by the one at the top of the ladder. Most memorable of the new "dinos". Weird choice to have them as cave dwellers when they used those sails for thermoregulation.
They were being punished.
Bad naughty little Dimetrodons! Into the caves you go!!
Synapsids are a nono!
normalhomosexuals see le old actors from the original movie and fork out the dough. universal should have had them in the first one and maybe the other two wouldn't have flopped
>and maybe the other two wouldn't have flopped
Colin Trevorrow is the type of tryhard who lacks real talent, insight and imagination.
>Wu turns into a good guy for no reason after being a bad guy for 2 movies in a row also for no reason
>The clone girl sub plot from Fallen Kingdom is back and even worse now
>Too many characters
>Too many dinos that never get a real chance to shine
>Blue somehow asexually reproducing just to have a marketable baby raptor
I could go on
>>Blue somehow asexually reproducing just to have a marketable baby raptor
Some Monitor Lizards can reproduce asexually. That's in her genome.
>>Blue somehow asexually reproducing just to have a marketable baby raptor
I've been on e621 enough to know how that baby raptor was made
Man that giga vs t rex fight was awful
Critics rating was closer to reality this time, this shit was trash. Every big franchise movie is marvel trash more concerned with lgbt and strong black woman who don't need no man representation than the main topic and themes. Nothing popular is worth watching.
critics are paid off, guys. listen to the audience.
Critics are paid off and audiences are moronic (this reboot trilogies would not exist if i didn't make money)
I'm the audience and this movie fricking blows green dinosaur diarrhea chunks.
watching this tmrw
how pozzed is it
Has anyone seen this yet? How much screen time does this character get? She was my favorite in the last film. I hope she's a major character in this one.
A good amount. Just keep it in your pants.
WHERE THE FRICK WAS SPINO
Why did they do giga instead of this... giga is literally discount t-rex...
I feel like a moronic tiny brained consoomer but I saw it in IMAX, loved it and I look forward to seeing it again. Hopefully my local 4DX is still showing it in a week, perfect kind of movie for it.
nothing, 170 million opening weekend is on the table
movies about planes are for old men, everyone loves dinosaurs