You fall asleep, uninterrupted for 8 hours. You wake up soaked in piss and diarrhea since you had a stomach ache in the middle of the night but was not interrupted with an urge to go to the toilet.
so what? I sleep sometimes and one of my my legs is real but with a wooden foot and the other leg is wooden but has a real foot, also one of the legs has a wheel coming out of it.
Not me. Simply sharing a bed with my wife is usually enough to prevent making it through the night without interruption.
Also depending on the child, the "new father" phase can last for quite awhile. Sure they aren't waking up every 2-3 hours for feeding but there's all kinds of shit that can go wrong overnight from bad dreams, to wetting the bed and so on. Pic related.
im been sleeping 2 hours in 3-4 different times of a day in the last 5 years, there are times where i ldont even know if im awake.
tinnitus is slowly killing me, but i wish it killed me long time ago.
>tfw average 5-6 hours a night during the week
I hate that my friends live two time zones away from me so we never start gaming until 9 at the earliest.
Frick I wish I didn’t have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning.
>mfw window looking down at the barrel of the megaphone some muzdog demoniac lunatic scream sings his guts out literally into hernias towards their pagan god 30 minutes before the crack of dawn every morning
i understand where you're coming from
This is the weird part of Christianity, that it kind of shatters wish fulfillment. We have nothing to ask for.
I'm not sure I'd go as far as Liebniz and say that we live in the best of all possible worlds, but sometimes theologically it seems that way, at least in the sense that we have nothing to ask for. All that we pray for will be granted (if it is good)...
Won't change the fact that the contract is null and void if they pull any funny business. Maybe I'll even throw in an arbitration agreement, with myself as arbiter
More like it was an excuse for gags and fanservice, with a hamfisted message thrown in. His character's problem was his entire personality, not just lack of confidence
Is it bad if I want to take her out on a date to a fine dining restaurant, start the evening with an apéritif, a glass of chardonnay, continue with an appetizer - bruschettas with all sorts of vegetable/oil pairings, order duck in double berry sauce, a chocolate mousse with vanilla ice cream and 18k gold sprinkles, and then end the meal with a glass of don perignon, just to go back to my place and frick her ass for half an hour, cumming 3 times without pulling out for a split second?
no that's how it's supposed to go, the date is for her and the butt banging is for you. Both of you have a nice time out that night and make each other feel good, her butt is what she brings to the table
Movie should have ended with Satan seeing the lengths Brendan Fraser was going to for some b***h who never liked him, and decided to just make him her hell-husband instead.
Anyone else think the “hell” scenes were actually pretty terrifying and existentially dreadful?
E.g. the super old people forced to dance in a nightclub for eternity. Basically “you like being a hedonist? Have it forever!” And it’s turned your pleasure into pain much like how his wishes backfire
I liked that aspect, Hell being the very thing you always wanted forever. I love this movie, although it has a different tone than the original I think it's the better of the two.
you cannot grant what i wish for. it is not in your authority. you are bound and limited in your share. your authority is only over those who have turned their backs to it and flee with those who flee.
to wish to life in a world where france and germany was always one kingdom with one government, one region, one language and one culture.
that would have prevented so many wars.
for Peter Cook to be going on about wiping out israelites on his bus ride through Golders Green by accident not be a joke, >before I knew it id wiped out 50000 of the frickers
>I wish that all my wishes, including this one, are granted in the exact spirit and manner in which I intend and imagine them. >I wish I could grant my own wishes without limitation or restriction. >I wish you would take your shoes and socks off.
It's typical genie wishing, you wish for something that seems good, but the genie twists it so you actually end up suffering more. Basically the world reminding you you are not allowed to be happy.
You are supposed to twist it in a clever way. You can't just add random bullshit. Otherwise every evil genie would simply add "and you are assraped in a dungeon for all eternity".
I still don't understand what was bad about the gay wish. It's not like he was magically obliged to keep sucking wieners, he could just ditch his boyfriend and live a rich life of success.
This is one of the nicest happy endings I can remember. Of course it's a bit sappy but it really fits with the theme of the movie about just accepting yourself. Once he does, things get better without much thought or effort. Plus Happy Brendan is best Brendan.
For her to be my unquestioning and utterly loyal slave, of course. Why would you wish for anything else? Once she's completely beholden to you, you can do whatever you want from there.
Easy. The ability to control people's minds. With that you can frick anyone you want. Ask rich people for money. Communicate in any country, etc. This is the ONE and only super power that is uniformily the best.
every dumb "wish" movie >"I cant grant like any wish but I cant make people love you" >"Oh. Hey, can you make me someone this girl I want to love me likes?" >"My Black person, I just said...... eughh, fine."
They're to appeal to normies so of course it's about some dope making dumb wishes and getting fricked over.
Nevermind that there's nothing mystical about love, it's just ingrained synaptic pathways releasing oxytocin like a drug addiction.
I would cancel all existence including the devil's. Beat that.
>Nevermind that there's nothing mystical about love
I think the rule is less about the mystical nature of love and more about the ethical implications of brainwashing someone into forcibly loving you.
That implies there's some universal arbiter of ethics, in which case I would ask to meet god almighty, the real creator of the universe, without dying. No devil can withstand his glory and power.
Every time someone sees my dick they fall into a trance where they will obey every order I give them. They will also lose all memory of what happened during the time starting from the 10 minutes before they saw my dick and ending 10 minutes after I snap my fingers and say 'sneed'
why in the frick would anyone want to be ruled over by a dictator? no matter who it is. I mean white ethnostate I get but why willfully put your freedoms under anyone's heel? that's a slave mentality.
probably just a bunch of money because that can be translated into the multiple things I actually want; a good piece of land and money to furnish it, a fertile wife, kids, the ability to help other people and invest in the community
I'd have just hooked up with her, no wishes needed it's clear she wanted me. Imagine having a cosmic level being as a waifu who isn't really evil since it's proven that you can't truly give up your own soul in the Bedazzled-verse.
8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
/thread
Such an underrated wish.
dad or what?
You fall asleep, uninterrupted for 8 hours. You wake up soaked in piss and diarrhea since you had a stomach ache in the middle of the night but was not interrupted with an urge to go to the toilet.
dammit, hate how every wish backfires.
still fricking worth it
I wake up needing to piss and then just go back to sleep without pissing, are you 60 years old?
Woosh.
8 hours are unhealthy. Sleep for only 7, homie.
Ok anonymous Cinemaphile poster
I feel like a sickly zombie if I only get 7 hours of sleep. I feel fine after 8. 9 hours gives me a headache and I feel bloated the rest of the day.
>9 hours gives me a headache and I feel bloated the rest of the day
are you me you? sleep drunkenness sucks
after 7 hours i function like a human if i get 8 hours though i grow and extra limb,and at 9 hours i crate a total solar eclipse,dont even ask about 6
can confirm what this annon says
I take 24 eight minute micro naps on the hour every hour. My car talks to me and I can walk through drywalls
so what? I sleep sometimes and one of my my legs is real but with a wooden foot and the other leg is wooden but has a real foot, also one of the legs has a wheel coming out of it.
I go with 4.5 a night except on weekends where I sleep 7
Whoa dude you're adulting.
Holy frick just imagine.
jeez, i wish to make your wish come true bro
WHAT A LIFE
got 12+ hrs today, don't know wtf happened I always get 1-3 hrs max
>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im soo busy guys look, i have soo much going on, people need me, help me fellow Cinemaphileners!
Checked. Now get a job.
You can be a neet and still suffer sleeping disorders dude.
I work normal hours but I can't remember the last time I slept through the night or felt rested when I woke up.
unless you're a brand new father, that's something you can get easily if you stop being an interntet addicted NEET
Neighbors
earplugs
earplugs don't stop vibration from people walking, car exhausts etc
>earplugs
dun like em
i can 'ear me 'eart beatin
What fantasy world do you live in that earplugs block loud noise? They just muffle it.
rough, buddy
Not me. Simply sharing a bed with my wife is usually enough to prevent making it through the night without interruption.
Also depending on the child, the "new father" phase can last for quite awhile. Sure they aren't waking up every 2-3 hours for feeding but there's all kinds of shit that can go wrong overnight from bad dreams, to wetting the bed and so on. Pic related.
im been sleeping 2 hours in 3-4 different times of a day in the last 5 years, there are times where i ldont even know if im awake.
tinnitus is slowly killing me, but i wish it killed me long time ago.
damn...
This but make it so I always feel well rested afterwards. Sometimes I don't.
what's with this boomer joke? just go to bed early
based snoozer
Same here since I am a father now.
dumb wagecuck
Frick that hit right in the feels.
Wow way to kill the thread, I’m sad now
>tfw average 5-6 hours a night during the week
I hate that my friends live two time zones away from me so we never start gaming until 9 at the earliest.
Frick I wish I didn’t have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning.
>tfw haven't slept for eight hours or more in over a decade
just take some melatonin and go to bed early
n
23 and feeling this
hahahahahaha
>mfw window looking down at the barrel of the megaphone some muzdog demoniac lunatic scream sings his guts out literally into hernias towards their pagan god 30 minutes before the crack of dawn every morning
i understand where you're coming from
To be her throne and toilet in hell for all eternity
Your wish is granted. Except, after 10 minutes, you decide you really really hate it and would like to take it back.
No dice.
Probably superior to hell tbh
good until you realize she has ibs.
even better
i would not wish for anything as the existence of satan, a human soul and hell infers the existence of god and heaven.
On your death bed they tell you they spiked your drink with DMT that night
This is the weird part of Christianity, that it kind of shatters wish fulfillment. We have nothing to ask for.
I'm not sure I'd go as far as Liebniz and say that we live in the best of all possible worlds, but sometimes theologically it seems that way, at least in the sense that we have nothing to ask for. All that we pray for will be granted (if it is good)...
I wish for a dictionary to give to this anon
To never go to hell
Granted. You die and your soul remains stuck in the coffin 6 feet under the earth for all eternity.
A little more baklavaaaaaaa
For her to be my loving, loyal, obedient and submissive wife.
>submissive
BOOOOOORING
found the butt pirate
>Not wanting a woman who will challenge you and can trade witty barbs
Nice deflection. You meant getting pegged by a dom woman, not a witty talkative girl
Nah I'm into facesitting and body worship but not pegging. Look up Femdom Ass Worship that's what I like not that CBT buttrape shit
I'm into Femdom Ass Worship too but that doesn't mean you can't try out sucking her wiener.
Beyond based poster.
Now THIS is projection lmao
Kys troon
>BOOOOOORING
Having a woman submit to you is fricking kino actually
truly a peak experience
Found the roastie. So tell me, how many fragrant ghatto kangs have busted their nuts inside your gash in the last couple of days?
Hispanic incel posting is becoming an epidemic
Shut the frick up you homosexual
make me
You must have a severely limited imagination.
For her to be my mom
dubs
Nothing. Every wish cucked him by giving him technically what he asked for but never actually what he wanted.
Put it in writing, have a lawyer go over it, problem solved
You really think Satan doesn't have a hells worth of the best most deceitful lawyers on retainer down there?
Won't change the fact that the contract is null and void if they pull any funny business. Maybe I'll even throw in an arbitration agreement, with myself as arbiter
They'll get out of that contract faster than you get out of social events anon.
Based lawyer. Although arbitral awards arnt enforceable in the UK and most of the US.
Nah Rudy Giuliani is still alive
Rudy is based
Hell retains the services of the law firm Dewey, Burnem, and Howe.
I assume Satan has the same lawyers as Disney
every wish was a lesson that he can already have what he wanted just by not being afraid to be himself and asking her out
More like it was an excuse for gags and fanservice, with a hamfisted message thrown in. His character's problem was his entire personality, not just lack of confidence
>upside down satan
Raaagh
Monkeys paw.
sex
sex
SEX
to be happy
A loving and faithful Anya Taylor Wife
You are now married to an obese Mexican woman who happens to be named Anya Taylor, not Anya Taylor Joy
your wish had been granted, you will live with her forever
Need to also wish her into eating some burgers.
could u imagine her gaining like 50-60 pounds? neeeed anya tummy and thighs
Is it bad if I want to take her out on a date to a fine dining restaurant, start the evening with an apéritif, a glass of chardonnay, continue with an appetizer - bruschettas with all sorts of vegetable/oil pairings, order duck in double berry sauce, a chocolate mousse with vanilla ice cream and 18k gold sprinkles, and then end the meal with a glass of don perignon, just to go back to my place and frick her ass for half an hour, cumming 3 times without pulling out for a split second?
no that's how it's supposed to go, the date is for her and the butt banging is for you. Both of you have a nice time out that night and make each other feel good, her butt is what she brings to the table
Movie should have ended with Satan seeing the lengths Brendan Fraser was going to for some b***h who never liked him, and decided to just make him her hell-husband instead.
How would this have not been a better ending?
For my wife to come back to me.
m60 machine gun
Mis establos.
Anyone else think the “hell” scenes were actually pretty terrifying and existentially dreadful?
E.g. the super old people forced to dance in a nightclub for eternity. Basically “you like being a hedonist? Have it forever!” And it’s turned your pleasure into pain much like how his wishes backfire
I liked that aspect, Hell being the very thing you always wanted forever. I love this movie, although it has a different tone than the original I think it's the better of the two.
Sex with Liz Hurley
im next maam
you cannot grant what i wish for. it is not in your authority. you are bound and limited in your share. your authority is only over those who have turned their backs to it and flee with those who flee.
to wish to life in a world where france and germany was always one kingdom with one government, one region, one language and one culture.
that would have prevented so many wars.
The power to materialize in my pockets any currency when I need it.
The IRS knocks on your door and you're jailed for tax evasion.
I bribe them.
Granted but since you bribed all of them the whole public knows and they want to kill you
>Granted
Granted what? I didn't wish for anything I stated my course of action.
You suck at monkeypawing, man.
It’s literally impossible to bribe the entirety of the IRS, so it can only be done through a wish
>It’s literally impossible to bribe the entirety of the IRS
You can't be this stupid
I make the rules here Nate
those who all themselves israelites but are not gone from this world
Win whichever lottery has the most money and never lose the money or get involved with crime, or whatever phrasing I need to avoid dumbass loopholes.
>never lose the money
Loophole detected. Your money stays with you forever, you won't get to spend it at all.
for no one else's wishes to come true
Loving non autistic parents
>What would you wish for?
For her to repent of her sins and become a follower of Jesus Christ.
She plays checkers with God, I think she'll be fine
that heaven is real and I get to see my dead relatives again after I die
I want to be her.
for Peter Cook to be going on about wiping out israelites on his bus ride through Golders Green by accident not be a joke,
>before I knew it id wiped out 50000 of the frickers
I’d wish away all the blacks and israelites
>I wish that all my wishes, including this one, are granted in the exact spirit and manner in which I intend and imagine them.
>I wish I could grant my own wishes without limitation or restriction.
>I wish you would take your shoes and socks off.
I wish this homosexuals wishes all backfire in increasingly lulzy ways
i wanna frick Liz so bad bros.
Being white and chad.
Sexo
>8 hours are unhealthy. Sleep for only 7, homie.
I wish reincarnation was real instead of binary judgemental afterlife realms, and everyone knew it.
It's already real
Can I just get a hug?
I'd ask her to shrink me to a few inches tall and let me massage and worship her feet
this but the opposite
Just finished watching Sharpe. She was in an episode. Genuinely one of the most attractive people I think I've ever seen.
I wish every lottery ticket I buy is guaranteed to be a jackpot winner.
Granted. You're now black, living in a ghetto and the cartel knows about your power.
What the frick kind of wish granting is this?
It's typical genie wishing, you wish for something that seems good, but the genie twists it so you actually end up suffering more. Basically the world reminding you you are not allowed to be happy.
But it wasn't even a clever twist or a cruel irony, just tryhard edgy bullshit.
I thought you were being sarcastic. But you're actually angry. Angry on 4chins. Wow. ok. LMAO
Redeem my wish you bloody b***h bastard.
Meh, I'm not the one writing them.
You are supposed to twist it in a clever way. You can't just add random bullshit. Otherwise every evil genie would simply add "and you are assraped in a dungeon for all eternity".
pet monkey
Granted, you become her pet monkey
I still don't understand what was bad about the gay wish. It's not like he was magically obliged to keep sucking wieners, he could just ditch his boyfriend and live a rich life of success.
Money. Money solves all of life's problems.
gives you all the money you want, but you die the next day
Isn't it ironic?
a daughter/wife
This is one of the nicest happy endings I can remember. Of course it's a bit sappy but it really fits with the theme of the movie about just accepting yourself. Once he does, things get better without much thought or effort. Plus Happy Brendan is best Brendan.
>Black God and sexy Satan have a chess match
To become my loving wife and mother of my children
Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!
For her to be my unquestioning and utterly loyal slave, of course. Why would you wish for anything else? Once she's completely beholden to you, you can do whatever you want from there.
sex with satan
>she turns into Barney and rapes you with his seven dicks
To be her throne and toilet in hell for all eternity and she has ibs
Easy. The ability to control people's minds. With that you can frick anyone you want. Ask rich people for money. Communicate in any country, etc. This is the ONE and only super power that is uniformily the best.
Yes. I wish that.
satan is cute, CUTE
To become a god, with all powers, abilities and privileges, so I can fix up this clusterfrick of a world or just frick off and start a new one.
Something to watch that isnt pozzed
i'd wish for my wishes to be granted by devil bunny
every dumb "wish" movie
>"I cant grant like any wish but I cant make people love you"
>"Oh. Hey, can you make me someone this girl I want to love me likes?"
>"My Black person, I just said...... eughh, fine."
They're to appeal to normies so of course it's about some dope making dumb wishes and getting fricked over.
Nevermind that there's nothing mystical about love, it's just ingrained synaptic pathways releasing oxytocin like a drug addiction.
I would cancel all existence including the devil's. Beat that.
>Nevermind that there's nothing mystical about love
I think the rule is less about the mystical nature of love and more about the ethical implications of brainwashing someone into forcibly loving you.
That implies there's some universal arbiter of ethics, in which case I would ask to meet god almighty, the real creator of the universe, without dying. No devil can withstand his glory and power.
unlimited chicken nuggets to eat out of Elizabeth hurleys ass
I wish I never have to be her personal toilet haha funny if that would backfire haha
Piss party
I wish that my following wishes wouldn't have any unexpected negative consequences.
but now you'll have the negative consequences. You'll just expect them now.
Well if I expect bad consequences I won't make any more wishes. Checkmate, Satan.
The movie to be re released and every outfit she's in she takes off and is naked before the new wish happens.
I wish my Visa debit card would work, but my only
Is the original movie good?
Every time someone sees my dick they fall into a trance where they will obey every order I give them. They will also lose all memory of what happened during the time starting from the 10 minutes before they saw my dick and ending 10 minutes after I snap my fingers and say 'sneed'
the evil genie will make 'everyone' include you yourself
6 shags and an act of altruism for someone else so I can go again
not to have a micropenis
>not to have a micropenis
Granted. You are still not a woman.
that my BBC wasn't so G*ddamned big
I wish for the ability to freely time travel.
You ONLY travel through time. So the instant you time travel you end up in the vacuum of space and die.
Frick.
Same thing I wish for everyday. Death.
to ber her nephew
For all the israelites to be gone
Good movie. Still waiting for a bluray to be released so I can see her gorgeous body in HD.
To have the full control over the power, knowledge and wisdom of the devil.
perfect health
the security of the white race
my face to be buried in her ass
Idk what this is
From the replies ITT, I'm guessing it's some kind of monkey's paw?
> :08
hnnnnggg
Its a movie called "Bedazzled" Liz Hurley is the devil and yeah its a monkeys paw situation. If you want to coom to Hurley ...there are better options
a clean bill of health ( no diseases, etc) and I am a 8/10 and to have a loving wife who is also 8/10 with a clean bill of health
The best answer
a cute gf... I know I'm asking too much
Get a big mac
A teen gf
bump
You're arrested for statutory rape and tried in front of an activist judge who gives you a life sentence.
m**t to have never made this site
Sex with turn of the millennium Liz Hurley.
A better movie.
I'll have a diet coke
she gives you a pepsi
It's flat and warm.
Death to all I dislike.
Anyone who would wish for this clearly dislikes themself
I messaged Disney about re-releasing this movie on Blu-ray. If it happens you know who to thank.
17 dollars
An american white ethnostate with trump as dictator.
why in the frick would anyone want to be ruled over by a dictator? no matter who it is. I mean white ethnostate I get but why willfully put your freedoms under anyone's heel? that's a slave mentality.
I would sign a deal with the D*vil.
Frick Hollywood
Frick you godless fricks
I wish I had a woman with a big butt in my life.
Granted. She's morbidly obese
vaporization of the mods and jannies and any new ones that ever take their places
An extra three inches
probably just a bunch of money because that can be translated into the multiple things I actually want; a good piece of land and money to furnish it, a fertile wife, kids, the ability to help other people and invest in the community
I'd have just hooked up with her, no wishes needed it's clear she wanted me. Imagine having a cosmic level being as a waifu who isn't really evil since it's proven that you can't truly give up your own soul in the Bedazzled-verse.
For her to be my faithful and loving wife for all eternity
The end of humanity as we know it
The fulfillment of my vision
A turkey sandwich on rye bread, and no weird tricks like the turkey is a zombie or I become the turkey, got it?