What's the STRANGEST theatre experience you've ever had?

What's the STRANGEST theatre experience you've ever had?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    feet

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    pissed myself at dawn of the planet of the apes because i was so invested into the movie that i tried to hold it in but it just let loose

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You should have done an OOK OOK EEK EEK and continued pissing everywhere

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    k true story - the day in question went like this - i had bacon,, sausages , 2 fried eggs, fried breads, coffee and pancakes with mayple for breakfast

    lunch was McD - 2 quarter pounders ,fries, shake

    then dinner i had Pizza and coke..

    then on the way to the cinema i had a KFC...

    Then in the cinema i had a big hotdog...

    anyway about the 2 hr mark into TDK (joker visting dent in hospital) i really needed to crap...i felt a few farts erupt but i held them in..i didnt wanna stink up the place and i sure didnt wanna go to the toilet and miss about 5 or 10 minutes...so i held it...however i then heard/felt explosions going off in my gut...i grimmiced..'i..can...hold...it!' i thought....and then it happened...something thats never happened to me b4...i felt the fudge FORCE its way out...i gripped the seat handels..'no No NO!!' I thought..it came..there was no turning back..i was empting into my pants and there was nothing i could do about it...it came and came and came and just when i thought it was done it came some more...it started to fall down the pant leg.....then the smell started...it was obvious...the guy next to me (full house) said 'jesus christ'...i got up and squeezed past the line..people were going 'arrgggg..stinking bastard ...fing idiot..disgusting' etc

    i went to the toliets went in the cubical..took off my pants and threw my caked underwear away...cleaned my pant leg as best i could..then went out the theatre..got in my car and drove away crying.

    i missed the last half hour all because i couldnt stop eating...then pooping

    i failed myself.....i failed the theatre audience...i failed ledger...and i failed the dark knight

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nice

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >joker visiting dent in a hospital
      >thunderous farts begin erupting in the theatre
      >some guy screams "no!" and then runs out
      >whole theatre starts to reek
      lol

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      We've all been there man, happens to the best of us

      https://i.imgur.com/QXAGbGF.png

      What's the STRANGEST theatre experience you've ever had?

      No joking or memeing, an attractive couple once sat down, the chick next to me, and she had sandals on that she took off shortly into the movie, she shifted position multiple times throughout, feet on the chair in front of her, sitting indian style, etc. Then she shifted to lean towards the other arm rest, her feet tucked under her, soles pointed towards me, even touched my thigh a couple times, (she whispered "sorry").
      Very distracting, don't remember any of the movie, or even what movie, just the fact that her nails were painted lime green, I complained to the manager after and got my money back.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What's with the high incidents of Amerisharts pooping in cinemas? Is it because they sit in fear of another mass shooting?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          High fructose corn slop has a lot of oil, it just slides out. They can't help it.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I was being sarcastic about everyone having done it, I want to defend my country but sadly, yes, there's tons of fatasses with terrible diets. I've never witnessed the "sharting" phenomenon but I can believe it happens sometimes

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I fell asleep and pissed myself during X-Men Apocalypse. Never pooped myself though.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Were you drunk at least?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Just side effects from HRT, I'm not a drunkard.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >American cinemas full of troons and obesoids pissing and shidding themselves
                Truly a dystopian nightmare

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Excuse the homosexual obsessed with trannies. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours iirc. I didn't expect to fall asleep because I had a sleeping disorder that keeps me awake.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Does insomnia lead to one pissing one's self?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm European and I had a minor sharting accident whilst enjoying The Day the Earth Stood Still at the kinema, I was also on a date but I don't think she realised it.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      quintessential american cinema experience

      also frick me man, how do you have fast good more than once in a day?

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The worst experience I had was also the weirdest I think. During the last 20 minutes of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 5 morbidly obese women farted and laughed through the entire ending.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      seriously what is it with fat women and harry potter?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know but I literally could not hear Dumbledore talk to Harry in the end scene over the "it wasn't me, hahaha".

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >go see IT:part 1
    >know its going to be another shitty horror movie but no friends and need to get out
    >cinema is probably 40% full
    >group of teenagers walk in
    >they start glancing back one by one
    >hear "is he by himself" or something
    >try to ignore
    >see a camera flash out the corner of my eye
    >group all gasps and giggles
    >"I can't believe you did that!"
    >decide to leave when the lights go off
    >kind of break into a sprint the longer I'm on two feet
    >attempt to throw my popcorn at the bin on the way out
    >miss and spill popcorn all over the floor

    last time I went to see a movie.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I’ve gone to the movies plenty by myself. Nobody has ever said anything. You did yourself a favor skipping that movie though.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >>go see IT:part 1
      >go by myself
      >no one bothers me
      >girl sits down a few seats away from me
      >has her phone in front of her face and peaks around it occasionally
      >group of gym rat dude bros in front of me
      >every scary scene and they scream and jump
      >girl has not put her phone down the whole time
      I just moved and the rest of the movie was chill.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My friend saw Garfield with his gtandma as a kid, some other kid behind them threw up in his grandma's hair right at the start of the movie. And his grandma was like
    >can we go?
    And he said
    >no I wanna watch Garfield
    So his grandma sat there for the whole movie with vomit in her hair KEK

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >went to watch this A24 horror movie
    >see this couple having fun
    >this twink frick and this really cute goth girl with orange hair
    >i sit next to them purposefully
    >i listen in on their conversations
    >i feel the warmth that they give to each other and they grew closer with each jumpscare
    >they pull out their phones to check on some instagram notifications
    >i peek their usernames, memorize them
    >after the movie was over, I got on the same bus as them and followed them home
    >i hid and pretended to live near by and check my phone as i watched the guy drop the girl off
    >they kiss
    >I watch
    >i write down her address and take pictures of her home
    >she actually lives barely 20 minutes away from me
    >i pass by there with my scooter and follow her sometimes
    >one time she was picked up by the twink
    >following her has been my greatest pleasure for over 2 months now
    >obsessed with her
    >go to the movie theater every saturday around the same time hoping to run into her again
    >she went to watch Abigail
    >i followed her home again
    >dream about her all day and every day alongside me killing the twink homosexual that she's with
    kinos for this feel?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      based anon

      what's your next move

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        based you should try framing the guy for cheating

        Very based if true.
        Frick him to assert dominance over her.

        getting the girl to be my girlfriend of course and getting the homosexual twink out of the way. killing him is out of the question if I can help it. I even followed the guy home so I know where he lives and how to deal with him. I will see about this. I have reported his instagram every day until they take it down. I have learned her address, name and other stuff from her boomer mother's facebook where she POSTS everything she does in life which has been a great help for me. I know she goes to an art school so I follow her there when I'm off work. (i work at a pizza place for my uncle's friend who lets me choose my hours because he thinks highly of me. i earn 700 dollars a month. not much but I don't need any more) plus I am thinking of just outright following her on social media but she'd just ignore me. I will think of more ways to get closer to her and get the twink out of the way. i should first lay the groundwork for her to know me. I'm thinking of setting pamphlets of the place i work delivery for on her doorstep, maybe she orders from there and I go and deliver her her food and I get to talk to her and make an impression. i am not a social sperg if it's for something i really want so I'd be able to make the most of it. The guy is a problem. he's a twink homosexual while i'm a manly guy with a good frame and who looks responsible so her female nature will lean towards me if i make a good first impression which I will, for sure. I am thinking of making a fake account and framing him but he'd have to bite first and he seems like a total weak limped homosexual but I'll have to try. I can even photoshop it. we'll see. i can even mistake an order to talk to her. we'll see. I have lots of ideas. she's so beautiful. she's like Sophia Lillis but goth.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          very based
          have you seen her feet? one thing ive noticed with goth girls is they dont take care of them

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            there is a photo of her on this other girl's instagram that the app recommended me and that happened to be her friend. in her highlight reel. she is on a beach with some friends and she has shorts and her feet out with no socks. She has about average, normal feet. Lord knows I'd love to suck on them toes and i'm not even a foot gay but if you love a woman, every part of her body is bliss. even the feet. i'd love to lick them clean. i'd love to lick her eyeball and lips too. a lot of things. truth be told, I think of putting cherry juice on her body and then licking it or even tomato sauce. her skin is so soft and tasty. i'd love to tease her with a feather too. a lot of things i'd love to do to her. girls are great. so cute and fun to tease and obsess over. god's greatest gift. they make life worth living.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              im glad im not a virgin

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You have never done any of that with anyone.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You’re the only interesting person in this thread.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          every day you stall she gets fricked by that guy. every couple days she sucks him off. you need to accelerate your plan. you know what you have to do, right? if you're gonna google stuff, use tor.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This, time is of the essence and Jesus is the reason for the season.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Correction: she sucks it every day and we frick twice as much lol. Keep seething frogposter, and she trusts me as much as she thrusts my twink dick so good luck with your weird plan and shit

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Nooooooooooooooo

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          there is a photo of her on this other girl's instagram that the app recommended me and that happened to be her friend. in her highlight reel. she is on a beach with some friends and she has shorts and her feet out with no socks. She has about average, normal feet. Lord knows I'd love to suck on them toes and i'm not even a foot gay but if you love a woman, every part of her body is bliss. even the feet. i'd love to lick them clean. i'd love to lick her eyeball and lips too. a lot of things. truth be told, I think of putting cherry juice on her body and then licking it or even tomato sauce. her skin is so soft and tasty. i'd love to tease her with a feather too. a lot of things i'd love to do to her. girls are great. so cute and fun to tease and obsess over. god's greatest gift. they make life worth living.

          God I'm so happy I have zero social media and there are no online photos of me

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm happy about that too

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          allright oldgays, lets do the magic and doxx this tard

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Not your personal army.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          please seek help, just let them be. you are a fricking weirdo creep

          >he's a twink homosexual while i'm a manly guy with a good frame and who looks responsible so her female nature will lean towards me if i make a good first impression which I will, for sure

          you're delusional. for all you know he fricks like a champ

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      based you should try framing the guy for cheating

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Very based if true.
      Frick him to assert dominance over her.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      [...]

      getting the girl to be my girlfriend of course and getting the homosexual twink out of the way. killing him is out of the question if I can help it. I even followed the guy home so I know where he lives and how to deal with him. I will see about this. I have reported his instagram every day until they take it down. I have learned her address, name and other stuff from her boomer mother's facebook where she POSTS everything she does in life which has been a great help for me. I know she goes to an art school so I follow her there when I'm off work. (i work at a pizza place for my uncle's friend who lets me choose my hours because he thinks highly of me. i earn 700 dollars a month. not much but I don't need any more) plus I am thinking of just outright following her on social media but she'd just ignore me. I will think of more ways to get closer to her and get the twink out of the way. i should first lay the groundwork for her to know me. I'm thinking of setting pamphlets of the place i work delivery for on her doorstep, maybe she orders from there and I go and deliver her her food and I get to talk to her and make an impression. i am not a social sperg if it's for something i really want so I'd be able to make the most of it. The guy is a problem. he's a twink homosexual while i'm a manly guy with a good frame and who looks responsible so her female nature will lean towards me if i make a good first impression which I will, for sure. I am thinking of making a fake account and framing him but he'd have to bite first and he seems like a total weak limped homosexual but I'll have to try. I can even photoshop it. we'll see. i can even mistake an order to talk to her. we'll see. I have lots of ideas. she's so beautiful. she's like Sophia Lillis but goth.

      there is a photo of her on this other girl's instagram that the app recommended me and that happened to be her friend. in her highlight reel. she is on a beach with some friends and she has shorts and her feet out with no socks. She has about average, normal feet. Lord knows I'd love to suck on them toes and i'm not even a foot gay but if you love a woman, every part of her body is bliss. even the feet. i'd love to lick them clean. i'd love to lick her eyeball and lips too. a lot of things. truth be told, I think of putting cherry juice on her body and then licking it or even tomato sauce. her skin is so soft and tasty. i'd love to tease her with a feather too. a lot of things i'd love to do to her. girls are great. so cute and fun to tease and obsess over. god's greatest gift. they make life worth living.

      Based unstable creep

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fake, A24 hasn't released a horror film within the last 2-3 months.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >i hid and pretended to live near by and check my phone as i watched the guy drop the girl off
      >they kiss
      >I watch

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you should murder her and her twink

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What's the STRANGEST theatre experience you've ever had?
    the floating glowing strings that stop me from stealing candy bars from the counter when the ticket seller isn't looking

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that exact pic

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i dont believe you

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        its true, i had to pretend i didnt care though which was kind of awkward.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i dont believe you

      different anon here
      I actually had this experience once as well but in a university lecture. Some girl behind me was aggressively rubbing her bare feet all over my ass and thighs the whole time (older theatre chairs with the gap between the backrest and seatrest). This is when I was like 18, and I was too much of an awkward idiot to ask her out for some freaky foot sex afterwards

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        God that's based, we used to have huge lecture halls at uni and the cute girls always would wear skimpy outfits and short shorts and flip flops and would rest their feet over the chairs.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I was watching TPM theatrical re-release a few weeks ago and a israelite shouted this when Watto appeared on the screen.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I was in the theater watching Tree of Life around 2010 or whenever it was in theaters. I was all by myself in the theater I'm pretty damn sure. It was to the part where Brad Pitt is going on a business trip and I had to piss so bad. I was real sneaky about it and unzipped a little and turned I my seat on my side and peed onto the ground next to me. The pee rolled down the center under the seats. Everything is fine and the it's the part where the kid is going out to party or something and BAM the lights come on. I just got up and ran out the exit, ran around the building, and drove the hell out of there as fast as o could and never went back.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    some assburger was sitting alone in front of me and talking to himself about shit happening in the movie so I kicked the back of his seat and he shut up for the rest of the movie

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      🙁

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I didn't do anything else, I just wanted him to shut up

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A woman farted in my face after avengers endgame when shuffling the aisle, luckily she was hot so didn’t mind as much

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me last year in HS
    >go watch Wonder Women with gf
    >we are both little bored, it's not kino
    >in the middle of the movie she starts touching my dick
    >ask her to give me a bj
    >she agrees
    >2 minutes into it, when staff member comes up and casually tells us to stop like this happens everyday
    >asks us to follow him out
    >both of ou faces are red from the shame
    >try to play it cool in front of my gf
    >go to the managers office
    >she starts to shout at us and threatens to call the cops
    >put up the most disinterested shit eating c**t face I could and sneer at her to act tough, but dying inside
    >she goes off about how disgusting we are and generally our whole generation
    >tears start to roll down her face as she's berating us
    >slowly the crying becomes uncontrollable
    >she's just mumbling half words while sobbing
    >don't even know what the frick is going on at this point
    >tell her that I'm sorry and we are leaving
    >she shouts after us that we are banned from the kinoplex forever
    >2 months later go back with my friends
    >they still remember me
    >mfw

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I was in the theater watching Tree of Life around 2010 or whenever it was in theaters. I was all by myself in the theater I'm pretty damn sure. It was to the part where Brad Pitt is going on a business trip and I had to piss so bad. I was real sneaky about it and unzipped a little and turned I my seat on my side and peed onto the ground next to me. The pee rolled down the center under the seats. Everything is fine and the it's the part where the kid is going out to party or something and BAM the lights come on. I just got up and ran out the exit, ran around the building, and drove the hell out of there as fast as o could and never went back.

      they might mount cameras by the projectors. at the theatre i worked at ocassionally a manager would be up there doing whatever, so someone might've saw you
      or the theatre gimp who hides under the seats got wet and he radioed the management

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >gf and I go to see first Holland Spiderman movie
    >sit middle back
    >theater slowly filling up
    >two teenage girls come and sit next to me
    >halfway through the movie, the one next to me curls up on her back in her seat and lays her feet across the arm of the seat next to me
    >didn't know she had taken her shoes off
    >now have some teen girl's bare feet basically in my lap for another hour or so
    Was kind awkward, but I was diamonds the entire time.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This happened to me but she stopped when my buttery popcorn hands started touching her soles

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you could have tickled her before the light went on

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, I'm sure me touching a probably underaged girl's feet with my gf sitting next to me would have been a great move, lol.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Underage girl feet > your ugly fat gf who was too busy stuffing her face

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you're such a fricking cuck man. have a nice day.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ah yes, I'm a cuck because I didn't want to go to jail.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              she was a cop?!

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I used to watch good movies in the theaters back in the 90s... hard to believe, I know!

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pissed on the seats in front me of while watching Dora in an empty theater

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >2004
    >friend and I go to watch Hidalgo
    >popcorn tastes a little funny
    >eat three buckets between us
    >leave theater to lobby
    >manager apologizes and tells us the oil was rancid
    >hurry home
    >walking upstairs to apartment
    >friend and I start shitting ourselves and letting out horrendous lingering farts
    >collapse on stairs with stomach cramps
    >finally make it upstairs
    >fight over toilet next 14 hours
    Hidalgo sucks

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    fricking your mom, and realizing when the lights go up that it was your dad

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Go to see The Dark Knight Rises
    >Have watched the opening scene multiple times in preparation
    >Film starts
    >Watching intently
    >Bane says 'For You...'
    >Gasp and shoot up
    >Shout 'What the hell did that mean?' I point a fat finger at the projectionist 'Reroll the scene.'
    >He complies
    >After a few replays, an attractive girl stands up and says 'Maybe he's big compared to the CIA guy?'
    >I snarl and say 'Shut up!'
    >The atmosphere is sour after that
    >Over the next three hours we rewatch the scene and analyse it piece by piece, the girl becomes an unlikely ally in my theories
    >Finally we figure it out Nolan's expert subtext and submit our findings to the committee before watching it one last time
    >On the way out I see the girl and her boyfriend
    >I walk up to the girl 'I must apologise for my earlier outburst.' I then turn to the boyfriend, smile and say 'You've got yourself a keeper there, good sir. She's a fine specimen' Before winking at him
    >I walk away and she shouts, stopping me in my tracks
    >'You're a big guy'
    >I smile and say 'For you, kid. Always for you.'

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    At med school. 1st year. Going horribly. Once semester ends, I'm leaving and never coming back. About 2 weeks away from throwing away my entire life plan. Got hammered drunk. Walked through a light snow at night to the theater, barely remember it. Theater is empty except for only me. Watched Melancholia.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      would probably just kill myself after the showing if this happened to me

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had to dump unholy ass in a popcorn bucket once, I was trying to get to the toilet but I couldn't make it. I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. Weeks later I was told by a friend that a CCTV image of me was on an ENTRY DISALLOWED board, had to tell him it was because I snuck in to a second movie or something.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >dump unholy ass
      Fricking kek, I'm using this.

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Giwtwm

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Saw Star Trek Beyond, before the trailers started an annoying group of kids in the front row were talking about taking edibles. Throughout the movie there were audible moron grunts and one of the kids was repeatedly walking up and down the aisle. Then like an hour into the movie he starts crying and repeatedly saying "I NEED HELP, I CANT MOVE"! Dude was standing in place crying like a pig. I was the one who had to explain to the ushers and people helping him out that he took an edible, since his friends went through the exit and tripped the alarm. Fricking pieces of shit.

    They stopped the movie and gave us tickets for another movie.

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Be me
    >5yo
    >Mom takes me to see James and the Giant Peach in theaters, first time she's taken me
    >Get horrific vertigo and motion sickness
    >Vomit all over the floor of the theater and had to be carried out because I couldn't walk
    >Fine as soon as we got outside
    Never had that experience before or since. I only remember it because it left such a powerful impression on me. Closest I've gotten since are when I first tried VR goggles and the first time I got really high from edibles.

    The funny thing is that I've started having inner ear problems in my 30s causing motion sickness and balance issues and I can't help but wonder if it's related.

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Went to see a scary movie. Theater was all black people. They were quiet and respectful throughout the entire film

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this happened to me once as well so i decided to yell "AYO THIS homie FINNA BOUTA GET DABBED ON!!" to lighten the mood but i got kicked out of the kinoplex without a refund

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >bored as hell
    >go to theatre to watch wonka because I heard good reviews about it
    >halfway through the movie wonka says something like "a little orange man stole my chocolate"
    >someone in the audience yells "TRUMP?"
    >the theatre erupted in laughter
    I was very close to walking out

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >wait outside for 5 hours playing my gameboy
    >finally get to the ticket window
    >"One for The Dark Knight Rises, please!"
    >ticket servant asks "just one?"
    >"Yes! I am by myself. There is nothing wrong with that and many people do it according to my friends on Cinemaphile. May I please have my ticket now?"
    >"Your friends on tv? Like, actors?"
    >"No, Cinemaphile is an english-language imageboard based on Japan's popular 2chan, where..."
    >"Whatever, here's your ticket"
    >Find optimal seating in the theater and listen to the K-On soundtrack on my Zune to pass the time
    >half an hour before the movie begins I realize I forgot my can-opener in the car
    >text my mom and have her bring it back, meeting her outside
    >as I go to re-enter the theater I have to wait in line again
    >realize there are girls near me in line and start shaking uncontrollably
    >crack my spaghetti can open and start drinking from it to distract myself
    >they notice and start laughing at my food choice
    >one girl comes over and begins shaking her rear near me rhythmically
    >I stumble "B-b-back that ass up"
    >As I say this she giggles and bumps into me, knocking my spaghetti can into my face
    >the can gets stuck on my retainer and they laugh uproariously
    cont'd...

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I run outside and burst into treats, call my mom
    >"It happened again!"
    >as she says she'll come back I hear thunderous clapping coming from the theater, as is the local custom
    >realize that Christopher Nolan's: The Dark Knight Returns is starting and now is my only chance to see it
    >decide IDGAF, I am seeing this movie, and march in through the security exit into my theater with the spaghetti can still hanging from my braces
    >as I come through the door the credits are starting
    >a black gentleman in the first row shouts "YO DIS homie BE WEARIN A GAS MASK OR SOME SHIT"
    >entire theater starts pointing and laughing
    >start farting uncontrollably
    >the farts will not stop and smell like death
    >the front rows start coughing and tearing up from the smell of my farts
    >many people from the front rows rush out of the theater
    >as they run out a man drops his standard American issue assault rifle
    >pick it up for him, "y-y-you dropped th-this"
    >as I hand it to him the trigger gets stuck on my cape
    >the gun starts firing into the crowd, hitting e-girls and normalgays all over the place
    >everyone runs out of the theater
    >my farts keep coming and turns into diarrhea streaming down my leg
    >the local constable and his squad rush in screaming "PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND GET ON THE GROUND!"
    >"y-y-you t-too"

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what would you do?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      take a sniff and go "eww so stinky haha!" pretending to be grossed out while secretly being hard as a diamond

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      coom

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jokingly lick the soles to make her stop of course

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      any other pantyhose kino?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's a man

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Start massaging them.
      If you wanna touch me with your feet I’m gonna touch back.

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My friend convinced us to go see holmes and watson. We where down because step brother and that racing movie was good. We went to it and With six people, me included. After 1/4 the movie I told them I was going home and caught the bus since it was a mall movie theater. By the time I got home from the bus everyone was already there cause the movie was so shit.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >they leave after you and get home faster
      Did they have a teleportation device?

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be 2010
    >bored and decide to check out what is airing in local cinema
    >true grit with jeff bridges, matt damon and josh brolin
    >good enough
    >arrive and buy coke and popcorn
    >go inside
    >whole theater is empty
    >wtf
    >go in the middle at the last row
    >no one else was there except me
    best and strangest movie theater experience ive had

  35. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What is it with you people and feet? Feet stink.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The nice ones are small, soft and feminine.

  36. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    weirdest experience for me was watching the entire theatre clap when thanos was killed in avengers

  37. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Both worst and best experience

    >Go to kinoplex
    >Sit about halfway down
    >Some Chad and his gf in front of me
    >Get comfy while trailers come on
    >See errant pieces of popcorn coming near me
    >Some of it hits me
    >To turn to look
    >There's like 3 troublemakers a few rows back laughing and then they stare at me
    >Don't really want to say anything so I just turn back around
    >They keep doing it even when the movie starts
    >They throw them quite hard so it'll hurt me (they don't hurt)
    >But they have bad aim and miss most shots
    >It starts hitting Chad and his gf
    >Chad turns and glares at me
    >As he's looking at me he sees the troublemakers are still throwing popcorn
    >Gets out of his seat and approaches them
    >Listen to him tell them that if they do it again he'll kick their ass
    >As he walks past I say/whisper "thanks bro"
    >But I don't think he hears me
    >Troublemakers hear me because they start laughing and mocking me by saying "th-thanks b-bro"
    >They don't throw anymore popcorn though
    >Yet this isn't good enough for me
    >I sit furious for another 10-15 minutes
    >Then I start throwing popcorn at Chad and his gf
    >When he turns around I quickly turn around too to face the troublemakers and say "come on guys, can't we just watch the movie"
    >They ask me what I'm talking about
    >I look back at Chad, tsk and just shake my head
    >Chad gets up and drags the three of them out of the kinoplex because he's had it with their shit
    >Start clapping when he comes back
    >No one joins in, in fact one lady shushes me
    >Enjoy rest of movie
    >Afterwards in the lobby I tell Chad thanks again and try to shake his hand
    >Doesn't shake my hand, he just says he's not my "bro"
    >His gf smiles at me
    >See the troublemakers outside the building
    >One of them has a blackeye
    >Get same bus as Chad and his gf so the troublemakers will think we're all together and won't follow me
    >Takes me like 5 miles out of town so I don't get back until later than I wanted to

    You should have seen how scared they were tho lol

  38. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I saw this film at the cinema and when the credits rolled a girl behind me made fun of her male companion for supposedly shedding tears

  39. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >my gf embraces my foot fetish and enjoys having her feet sniffed and licked

    life is so good bros

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Happy for you, anon

  40. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When I was 14 I took my gf to see Matrix 2 and cum in my pants when she started rubbing my dick. She asked what the wet spot was and I said I spilled cola. Don't remember anything about the movie until it came out on DVD later and watched it on magic mushrooms with my friends. Still dont really remember much, I guess. Kinda shit movie tbh

  41. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why nothing cool like picrel never happen in real life? Why is real life so boring and predictable?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Have you tried leaving your Mom's basement? Things might start happening then.

  42. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Aquaman. A drunk abo guy sitting in the back started throwing pocket change randomly at the people in front of him. It hit some lady in the back of her head, she went and grabbed the manager. The manager came in with a flashlight and told the drunk abo he had to go or he was calling the police. The drunk abo went to leave but then started attacking the manager. Some random 7 foot tall guy jumped up to defend the manager, grabbed the kid and threw him out.

  43. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >theatre
    You mean Kinoplex.
    Here's mine:
    >take my seat nice and early
    >movie starts
    >attendant approaches me
    >he wants to clean out the birdcage above me
    >have to stand up while he cleans it out
    >guy behind can't see and starts swearing at me
    >bird gets pissed off and starts screeching and rattling the cage
    >spills water dish on the woman in front of me
    >everyone in the cinema has stopped watching the movie and is turning and glaring at me
    >attendant finally finishes up and lets me sit down again
    >have a sip of my drink
    >it's full of bird seed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you talk/post like the kind of embarrassing posts you see get screenshotted and posted on shitty instagram greentext pages

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're a newbie that doesn't know the difference between quality and total shite

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          cope/seethe/dilate etc

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have heard of some dedicated fans but actually bringing a birdcage to a showing of The Birdcage takes some real dedication.

  44. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sin City 2.
    I snuck beer into the theater and kept pouring it into my soda cup to look like I was drinking soda. Had to piss really bad towards the end of the movie. Attempted to take a piss into the cup. It fell over and spilled onto the floor. Panicked. Quietly left the theater and the cup. Hands and pants covered in piss.

  45. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >go to movies with camp friend
    >The One starring Jet Li is playing
    >empty theatre for the most part
    >sit in back row
    >fat, NEET looking man slowly makes his way to the back row
    >sits right next to camp friend
    >after a few minutes, camp friend is looking freaked out
    >tell him we should move
    >move up some rows and finish movie

    Met up with said friend recently and he told me that dude was a pedo and grabbed my friend's underwear and started yanking it. Wish we would have called the cops but we were kids. Hope that dude is chewing on worms in the ground now

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What is a "camp friend"? Are you only friends while camping? And if so, why would you go to the movies tomorrow?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >what is a "camp friend"
        A friend...from camp
        >and if so, why would you go to the movies tomorrow
        Did you have a stroke or are you just slow? Assuming you meant "together," that's an equally dumb question. You go to movies with a friend

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Do they show movies at camp?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >be anon
          >go to movies yesterday with school friend
          >see camp friend
          >camp friend is with prison friend
          >prison friend dated my ex who is now known as grocery friend
          >i classify all my friends into categories based on where I met them because I'm a massive sperg

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Why did you need to specify that it was a friend from camp? Do you think all kids go to camp and just make friends there and call them their "camp friend"? How about "friend from camp." The only thing that even distinguished your age was that you said the guy was a pedophile. The way you worded it initially made it seem like you and your friend were adults and your friend knew the guy and knew that he was a pedophile until you specified that he started rubbing your friends leg.
          And it's obvious the other guy is a phone poster who meant to type "together" but got auto-corrected
          You're awfully hostile for someone who's moronic.

  46. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
    >the film stops after the opening David Bowie montage
    >after ten minutes it gets restarted from the beginning
    >entire montage plays again but now everything is tinted fluorescent orange
    >restarts again and finally fixed
    >genuinely fall asleep about halfway into the movie and have only brief hazy memories of what happens
    Fricking awful dull junk. The leads had such little chemistry I thought they were supposed to be siblings. Braindead acting from both. Didn't buy either of them as operatives. I was willing to give the filmmaker the benefit of the doubt after Fifth Element but Valerian sucked ass.

  47. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Master and commander, day of release
    >get in as film has started, long night-time sequence so no light to find a seat, place is very busy
    >able to discern an empty seat on the aisle and sit down
    >there's an old guy sitting in the next seat, except he's leaning into the aisle seat like I was meant to get the message and leave
    >I have no reason to so I don't, don't know what his problem is, genuinely bizarre behaviour and I expect him to just move. He doesn't
    >I simply sit normally in my seat while he tries to stay leaning into mine way over the arm rest. I'm considerably larger than him and was at the time an amateur strongman competitor, I drive my elbow into the crook of his arm and keep it there (I later measure the force I was expending and it was a constant pressure of almost 300lbs focused right in the crook of his arm)
    >This goes on for like an hour, the stupid bastard must have been in agony, eventually he gives up and just sits normally from which point he is able to just watch the film from the one seat he paid for
    I've encountered this bizarre behaviour in different places and it's always a small man or fat woman in their 50s. I have got no fricking idea what they expect to gain from it. I've taken to just pushing them out of the way and ignoring their squawks of outrage

  48. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had a girl do this to me once in college
    It was amazing

  49. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've given up going to horror clicks in the kinoplex, the audience is always full of moronic teenage girls who scroll their phones or scream at random moments

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Go on opening Thursday. No one goes to opening Thursday showings.

  50. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    so i was like 14 and we went to see the phantom menace, the picture suddenly freezes during the gungan/droid battle scene and they turn the lights back on after 20 seconds. cue angry dude leaving, yelling and hurling his large bucket of popcorn that hits pretty much everyone in the room

  51. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  52. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >First Omen
    >middle of back row
    >couple sits at the end
    >she sits in his lap and they make out
    >looks like they're having sex
    >they leave half way through to frick somewhere else

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