I don't know about you, but those masks spooked me, hard. You can just feel the horrific tension on the set, it seems a lot like the behind the scenes on the Shining
It is common for films that are seeking funding to create posters and other marketing material beforehand. Usually they try to shoot some sort of footage as well, a fake trailer, proof of concept of a scene etc. This is common when you either try to get financing at movie festivals or when you're doing crowdfunding (which is the case with Stuckmann's movie).
I'm 'fat' but my body is proportional, for a man, look at his arms and upper body, all of his fat is in his ass and belly, thats what skinnyfat is
fucking disgusting
AVGN movie is worse than those because James seriously thought it would have mainstream appeal and took it all very seriously. Doug was more just shooting the shit with his stupid friends and having fun, and only expecting to release it to his existing fans
I have not seen all of them but I think AVGN movie was worse. It should have been easy - just appeal to your core audience. But instead he went on to make a movie for everyone and ended up making something nobody cared for.
why aren’t YouTube movie reviewers allowed to work out? and why are they forced to walk weird?
1 year ago
Anonymous
They're allowed to, they're just weak men that loath any type of hard, manly work. It's all about sitting on couches and eating shit.
1 year ago
Anonymous
TELL THAT TO ZOD'S SNAPPED NECK
1 year ago
Anonymous
1 year ago
Anonymous
I HOPE they review and shit on Shelby Oaks on Half in the Bag, where Stuckmann will either immediately kill himself or go up to Milwaukee and shoot up their warehouse.
He used Kickstarter for this fucking movie?
I thought he was hired as a serious director by a studio? Is he just pulling a Rolfe with this whole thing?
I don't like this meme where we pretend like there's a sliver of hope that this will be anything other than an embarrassing disaster. Even in the behind-the-scenes video linked the Stuck-man is saying that he's only hoping it comes out the way he envisioned, setting up for the future disaster and the excuse that it's not what he pictured in his head.
>silly lil zoom zoom doesn't know what inflation is
If you're a hack loser like Oren Peli who wants to make a movie that caters to subhumans you can make a Paranormal Activity. If you're a real man with a soul and passion, you'll need money to realize your vision. Stuckmann has ambition.
1 year ago
Anonymous
>putting Space Cop anywhere near Mad Max and Halloween
Because making movies is genuinely very fucking hard and talented hardworking people fail at it all the time. Just because you have the money, it doesn't guarantee anything.
I don't even like Cuckmann but the vast majority of people here are very, very out of touch/unknowleable about actually making films. Doesn't mean you can't criticize shit movies, doesn't mean you can't shitpost, doesn't mean you can't call him a terrible filmmaker, but the reality is that the average shitposter on /misc/ probably wouldn't be even hired as a production assistant or as an extra.
I'm happy for him. I hope it's a competent enough movie that people will figure out he's a better filmmaker than the RLM guys. That'll make them absolutely seethe, even though they'd think of themselves as too cool to even bring it up.
LOL this fight choreography! This is way more cringe than I even expected. Jesus Christ, why is the bouncer doing a jump-punch and then the Morpheus "come on" hand gesture?
GOD. I feel like I've worked hard enough and have enough knoledge to put a fairly competent product out. When I look at shit like this, or RLM or Ralph, I don't get angry, I just get sad. Because if they had me around, half of this shit would look so much better.
It's crazy how I've basically wasted my life learning. because contacts get you far in life, not actual talent.
Just give me the chance and I would make something great
i’ve tallied 35 black women and I didn’t find it funny at all, and then I imagined an audience that didn’t get the inside jokes and wasn’t already automatically going to laugh because they recognise the people in it and realised it’s actually even less funny objectively.
>Fury of the Film Fan and Chris Stuckmann had a friendship that was at the time, closer than the other content creators. This was largely due to the fact that they shared the same religion growing up and had faced similar situations in their personal life.
>Eventually, Fury of the Film Fan had invited Chris Stuckmann to stay with him and his family in his New York apartment. Soon after the trip is over is when things went awry.
>"What happened here?
>Fury - "It's very simple what happened. My wife invited Chris to stay with us in New York thinking that this is what I wanted. Instead of saying no on the spot I let it go thinking it was one of those maybe one day kind of things. Soon enough Chris was making plans and I didn't have the heart to say no at that point. It did lead to me and my wife having a conversation about communication. We both should have stopped and thought about this. I decided to make the best of it and take a few days off. A few days were needed because this wasn't a two day thing, Chris ended up planning a 4 day 5 night retreat at my place. I wasn't up for that but he already booked it. I sighed and just thought I'd make the best of it.
>During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. Later I would walk in on my wife and him in our bed completely naked. He claims they were just reenacting "Gladiator" but I'm not sure I believe him. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.
Jay Bauman is seething in these thread as we speak. Thinks so highly of himself, has always taken jabs at Chris Stuckmann for being "beneath" him and not as knowledgeable in cinema as him. Now he's absolutely fucking livid that Stuckmann is getting to make a REAL movie that's gonna be absolute pure kino.
>haha its supposed to be silly and goofy
Typical, Bauman knows how untalented he is, that's why he's never tried to make anything in earnest, to shield himself from the criticism he knows he would receive. Stuckmann is honest. Stuckmann has a soul. Bauman is an empty, hollow, pathetic charade of a "man".
Unless you’re located in cali, no idea why you’d film there, needing permits is a shit show and expensive, you may have more equipment and actors there but it’s not like the old days where l.a was the only place for it.
Even lLucas would make films outside of cali with Star Wars, he filmed 2 and 3 In Australia because of tax benefits and the talent pool over there. You have to be really really smart with budgets if it’s not funded from a large production house/studio.
The Avon film is a disaster on all levels. It could and should have used elements of the east coast, which is plentiful in amazing places. L.A and the desert is alway a shit show if that’s not your area.
Mike and Jay have no real movie ideas. They don't have actual thoughts on a movie to make. They'll never make a solid picture. Stuckman is just a fat autistic gay that contrived his own movie idea out of the horror genre which is the laziest thing to do nowadays.
Chris Stuckmann can't decide if he wants to be a fanboy or if he wants to be an actual film director. Nobody who wears pop culture graphic tees, collects manchild garbage and gets anime and video game tattoos could ever have the vision to direct something that isn't a total pile of shit. James Rolfe has the exact same issue.
It’s the same as people who view porn as sex and love. All surface, no education or nutrition in the area they claim they’re experts in. They don’t understand film because they don’t understand paintings, which is the root to pure kino.
If you want to be good at motion, you need to be amazing at stills.
we arent pretending, his autism translates to a genuinely unique and odd experience. have you fucking seen the one where he waits outside the door? tism'd out refn shit, genuinely fascinating
If I can't do a better job then I can't make fun of this idiot for being an endless cringefest? Dude has devoted his life to movies, I hope he can make a slightly better film than I can with zero experience filming anything.
>Be a movie critic for years >Seen a bazzillion movies and know enough technical stuff to become a director >Finally you cash out on your fame and you pull enough funds to make your own small movie >Instead of making something original and experimental in order to attract attention as a movie creator, you go ahead and decide to make the most boring, most typical horror b movie out there >You also decide to make boring and lukewarm reviews in order to be as inoffensive as possible
I bet my nuts that the average /misc/ anon can make a better movie with those funds than stuckmann or avgn will ever do. Stuckmann chose cheap horror because cheap horror movies attract retards and could fare better at box office despite its quality
>average /misc/ anon
lmao. That gay in OPs picture may be an idiot, but none of you retards have any talent. You are not better than the average loser in Youtube that thinks criticism and sperging about stupid shit is "quality". You are not filmmakers. None of you will ever be. Your only talent will always be seething about shit other people with talent (or will enough to make attempt to make a movie, even if it sucks), make. Even Tommy Wiseau is more of a man with more talent with you gays, because at least he tried to do something. All you will ever do is just complain about retarded political garbage or nitpick "plotholes". You are not special. At best the closest thing you will ever get to "do something" related to cinema is starting a shitty Youtube channel like those Red Letter Media losers, watching as cinema goes on and forgets about you.
That aside, Stuckmann "BvS" "fixed" script is enough proof to show film criticism is for losers that always tell themselves they can do better, but really can't. Just like /misc/
But how do you know you are speaking to someone that is accomplished in Hollywood or not and lurks here because he cant post his mind freely online? Hmm? I still stand by my opinion that the average /misc/tard can make a better movie than Cuckmann.
I've heard Macaulay Culkin will have a cameo in this. Literally "blink and you'll miss it".
I'll watch it just to see that if it turns out to be true.
And for the cringe, of course.
>I've heard Macaulay Culkin will have a cameo in this. Literally "blink and you'll miss it".
OH WOW THE GREAT ACTOR MACAULAY CULKIN! HE WAS SO HOT LIKE 40 YEARS AGO!
Remember when this guy had a big weepy coming out about his upbringing as a devout Jehovah Witness and how butthurt he is that they ostracized him for being a fag?
redpill me on this
Ever want to watch a guy humiliate himself in front of a group of people? watch him mope around set
>all those masks
lol
I don't know about you, but those masks spooked me, hard. You can just feel the horrific tension on the set, it seems a lot like the behind the scenes on the Shining
>Ashleigh Snead
holy shit he got fat
Wait.
Did he really designed the poster before even shooting the movie?
Other filmmakers (including Spielberg) have had someone design posters before shooting a movie. "Concept posters" are a thing y'know?
It is common for films that are seeking funding to create posters and other marketing material beforehand. Usually they try to shoot some sort of footage as well, a fake trailer, proof of concept of a scene etc. This is common when you either try to get financing at movie festivals or when you're doing crowdfunding (which is the case with Stuckmann's movie).
It's a teaser poster for the Kickstarter. Pretty normal stuff.
good lord so much cringe I cant even finish the video
he's bloated so much the beard is 100% useless at hiding it
Have you ever considered you might be autistic?
Have you ever considered you might be a massive braindead homosexual?
How fat is he going to get??
>inb4 it becomes the next 'The Thing'
>It's really exciting and fun and awesome and...
>flat voice, flat eyes
Oh Chris
what make him behave that way? are the producers the ones in charge?
bro is on xanax or something.
>it's going to be a clash of genres
>there will be comedy in there
Oh yeah, this is gonna be a diaster and I can't wait
Is Chris' wardrobe nothing but graphic t-shirts?
my god he's bloated and/or very fat when did this happen
You can see that he was really inspired by Orson Welles.
>MWAAAAAH THE... SHELBY OAKS...
>skinnyfat body
>soiboy face
>moron tattoos covering his arms
how fucking much do you have to hate yourself to end up like this?
>skinnyfat
no that's just fat, anon
I'm 'fat' but my body is proportional, for a man, look at his arms and upper body, all of his fat is in his ass and belly, thats what skinnyfat is
fucking disgusting
>dude it´s the cowboy bepop tatoooooo!!!!!!!!
stuckmann is turning into orson welles, he gaining so much weight so fast, look at his face jesus christ
He actually might out-cringe the AVGN movie.
what about the Channel Awesome films with the Nostalia Critic and assorted other characters
Nothing is worse than those. Nothing.
AVGN movie is worse than those because James seriously thought it would have mainstream appeal and took it all very seriously. Doug was more just shooting the shit with his stupid friends and having fun, and only expecting to release it to his existing fans
I have not seen all of them but I think AVGN movie was worse. It should have been easy - just appeal to your core audience. But instead he went on to make a movie for everyone and ended up making something nobody cared for.
>tryhard
STUCKMANNIZED
KINO
I
N
O
i can only hope we get scenes like this in the new movie
>ill fitting jeans
>legs don't load right
>awkward walking
ah yes, i'm feeling positively stuckmanized
>Why yes I did watch The Dark Knight a million times, how did you know?
Someone outside the hollywood nepotistic garden gnome bubble is daring to direct a movie and OP is kiking out about it
>Stuckmann
>filmmaker
lol let me know if he makes over 500 films
then we can talk
james lost his soul the moment his shitty movie flopped
Stuckmann sacrificed his youtube career to make a shitty low tier horror movie that nobody will see
many such cases
Where have we seen this before?
I'll tell you where we haven't. Because he can dish it out but not take it.
why aren’t YouTube movie reviewers allowed to work out? and why are they forced to walk weird?
They're allowed to, they're just weak men that loath any type of hard, manly work. It's all about sitting on couches and eating shit.
TELL THAT TO ZOD'S SNAPPED NECK
I HOPE they review and shit on Shelby Oaks on Half in the Bag, where Stuckmann will either immediately kill himself or go up to Milwaukee and shoot up their warehouse.
Fat fag makes a moobie.
He used Kickstarter for this fucking movie?
I thought he was hired as a serious director by a studio? Is he just pulling a Rolfe with this whole thing?
>>raised 1.4 millies
how much have you raised to make an attempt at kino?
I don't like this meme where we pretend like there's a sliver of hope that this will be anything other than an embarrassing disaster. Even in the behind-the-scenes video linked the Stuck-man is saying that he's only hoping it comes out the way he envisioned, setting up for the future disaster and the excuse that it's not what he pictured in his head.
>Even in the behind-the-scenes video linked the Stuck-man is saying that he's only hoping it comes out the way he envisioned
how the fuck you can raise 1 million and not having your movie the way you envisioned? is stuckmann that incompetent?
>subhuman who doesn't understand how money movie costs can mount up
cope
RLM are a bunch of untalented, embarrassing gays
>silly lil zoom zoom doesn't know what inflation is
If you're a hack loser like Oren Peli who wants to make a movie that caters to subhumans you can make a Paranormal Activity. If you're a real man with a soul and passion, you'll need money to realize your vision. Stuckmann has ambition.
>putting Space Cop anywhere near Mad Max and Halloween
Because making movies is genuinely very fucking hard and talented hardworking people fail at it all the time. Just because you have the money, it doesn't guarantee anything.
I don't even like Cuckmann but the vast majority of people here are very, very out of touch/unknowleable about actually making films. Doesn't mean you can't criticize shit movies, doesn't mean you can't shitpost, doesn't mean you can't call him a terrible filmmaker, but the reality is that the average shitposter on /misc/ probably wouldn't be even hired as a production assistant or as an extra.
For the amount of subs he has that’s kinda bad
I use my own money for my projects, because I'm actually passionate about them.
anime waifu statues are not projects
Hes going to revolutionize the horror genre and there not a thing you can do about it.
Keep coping fag.
show your work then
I'm happy for him. I hope it's a competent enough movie that people will figure out he's a better filmmaker than the RLM guys. That'll make them absolutely seethe, even though they'd think of themselves as too cool to even bring it up.
>better than RLM
rlm are shit but cmon man
LOL this fight choreography! This is way more cringe than I even expected. Jesus Christ, why is the bouncer doing a jump-punch and then the Morpheus "come on" hand gesture?
GOD. I feel like I've worked hard enough and have enough knoledge to put a fairly competent product out. When I look at shit like this, or RLM or Ralph, I don't get angry, I just get sad. Because if they had me around, half of this shit would look so much better.
It's crazy how I've basically wasted my life learning. because contacts get you far in life, not actual talent.
Just give me the chance and I would make something great
lmao your shit would be just as bad
i dont get it...is this a pardoy sketch?
He made this because he watched drive once right
this is Ben and Arthur tier filmmaking
KINO alert
Even Doug's a better actor
why do all these hacks think its cool to have no dialogue in their shitty movies
the funniest part is that this will be higher quality than space cop by a large margin
not really a selling point lol
Have you seen slave cop? It’s funny as fuck. I’ve banged 14 black women.
i’ve tallied 35 black women and I didn’t find it funny at all, and then I imagined an audience that didn’t get the inside jokes and wasn’t already automatically going to laugh because they recognise the people in it and realised it’s actually even less funny objectively.
No, the funniest part will be Mike and Jay from RLM seething during their review.
>Fury of the Film Fan and Chris Stuckmann had a friendship that was at the time, closer than the other content creators. This was largely due to the fact that they shared the same religion growing up and had faced similar situations in their personal life.
>Eventually, Fury of the Film Fan had invited Chris Stuckmann to stay with him and his family in his New York apartment. Soon after the trip is over is when things went awry.
>"What happened here?
>Fury - "It's very simple what happened. My wife invited Chris to stay with us in New York thinking that this is what I wanted. Instead of saying no on the spot I let it go thinking it was one of those maybe one day kind of things. Soon enough Chris was making plans and I didn't have the heart to say no at that point. It did lead to me and my wife having a conversation about communication. We both should have stopped and thought about this. I decided to make the best of it and take a few days off. A few days were needed because this wasn't a two day thing, Chris ended up planning a 4 day 5 night retreat at my place. I wasn't up for that but he already booked it. I sighed and just thought I'd make the best of it.
>During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. Later I would walk in on my wife and him in our bed completely naked. He claims they were just reenacting "Gladiator" but I'm not sure I believe him. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.
jej
Keith David will make it kino
>Sara Durn
Jay Bauman is seething in these thread as we speak. Thinks so highly of himself, has always taken jabs at Chris Stuckmann for being "beneath" him and not as knowledgeable in cinema as him. Now he's absolutely fucking livid that Stuckmann is getting to make a REAL movie that's gonna be absolute pure kino.
Jay Bauman has nothing to fear or be jealous of
?t=574
>haha its supposed to be silly and goofy
Typical, Bauman knows how untalented he is, that's why he's never tried to make anything in earnest, to shield himself from the criticism he knows he would receive. Stuckmann is honest. Stuckmann has a soul. Bauman is an empty, hollow, pathetic charade of a "man".
They're great entertainers but as filmmakers they're some of the worst. On par with Doug Walker and Linkara.
based
this. space cop humiliated RLM into submission so they’re just going to recede into never making anything again so they can never be criticised
Mike and Jay will pretend to not know about Shelby Oaks when it drops.
me, kino inc.
what if it ends up being unironic kino?
Is he going to perform an unsimulated blow job on camera for the movie?
Good for Chris, seems like nice dude.
Stuckmann himself is cringe but I hope this succeeds. It would be cool if it actually turns out well and embraced by audiences
Why don't you give me one million dollars and find out, gay?
Depends on what the scope is, a million can go nowhere if your scope is too big, which always happens, this is why creators need good producers.
If you have a million you’d still want to be making something insanely small scale that would cost 200-400k in scope.
I wonder if Chris has more money now and has expanded the idea more, which is rookie mistake 101
No sure why I responded to you but oh well.
>I wonder if Chris has more money now and has expanded the idea more, which is rookie mistake 101
Isn't that what AVGN did?
He decided to shoot in his own state, Ohio. Way smarter move than sodabrain James Rolfe. He blew his entire budget on permits in California.
Unless you’re located in cali, no idea why you’d film there, needing permits is a shit show and expensive, you may have more equipment and actors there but it’s not like the old days where l.a was the only place for it.
Even lLucas would make films outside of cali with Star Wars, he filmed 2 and 3 In Australia because of tax benefits and the talent pool over there. You have to be really really smart with budgets if it’s not funded from a large production house/studio.
The Avon film is a disaster on all levels. It could and should have used elements of the east coast, which is plentiful in amazing places. L.A and the desert is alway a shit show if that’s not your area.
Just dumb
He got fat.
If Stuckmann can get over 1 million in funding, imagine what Mike and Jay can get. It's pure laziness at this point.
Mike and Jay have no real movie ideas. They don't have actual thoughts on a movie to make. They'll never make a solid picture. Stuckman is just a fat autistic gay that contrived his own movie idea out of the horror genre which is the laziest thing to do nowadays.
>Chris Cuckmann
Guarantee there will be an interracial romance scene.
😉
>you that movie about the cabin in the woods?
Zod's snapped neck
Ive been following Chris for years unironically, but I can't handle this saga cringe I just cant. it started with tattoos....
Chris Stuckmann can't decide if he wants to be a fanboy or if he wants to be an actual film director. Nobody who wears pop culture graphic tees, collects manchild garbage and gets anime and video game tattoos could ever have the vision to direct something that isn't a total pile of shit. James Rolfe has the exact same issue.
It’s the same as people who view porn as sex and love. All surface, no education or nutrition in the area they claim they’re experts in. They don’t understand film because they don’t understand paintings, which is the root to pure kino.
If you want to be good at motion, you need to be amazing at stills.
He should direct Morbius 2. No kidding.
why is he so fat now?
It's for a role
roll*
he will roll alright
Poor guy. Couldn't imagine getting fat.
>If you want to be good at motion, you need to be amazing at stills.
Not really, they share some same aesthetic and technical principles but are also very different.
we arent pretending, his autism translates to a genuinely unique and odd experience. have you fucking seen the one where he waits outside the door? tism'd out refn shit, genuinely fascinating
who is this? what is this? im not clicking on your fucking links
Die gay
God damn he got FAT
If I can't do a better job then I can't make fun of this idiot for being an endless cringefest? Dude has devoted his life to movies, I hope he can make a slightly better film than I can with zero experience filming anything.
>Be a movie critic for years
>Seen a bazzillion movies and know enough technical stuff to become a director
>Finally you cash out on your fame and you pull enough funds to make your own small movie
>Instead of making something original and experimental in order to attract attention as a movie creator, you go ahead and decide to make the most boring, most typical horror b movie out there
>You also decide to make boring and lukewarm reviews in order to be as inoffensive as possible
I bet my nuts that the average /misc/ anon can make a better movie with those funds than stuckmann or avgn will ever do. Stuckmann chose cheap horror because cheap horror movies attract retards and could fare better at box office despite its quality
>average /misc/ anon
lmao. That gay in OPs picture may be an idiot, but none of you retards have any talent. You are not better than the average loser in Youtube that thinks criticism and sperging about stupid shit is "quality". You are not filmmakers. None of you will ever be. Your only talent will always be seething about shit other people with talent (or will enough to make attempt to make a movie, even if it sucks), make. Even Tommy Wiseau is more of a man with more talent with you gays, because at least he tried to do something. All you will ever do is just complain about retarded political garbage or nitpick "plotholes". You are not special. At best the closest thing you will ever get to "do something" related to cinema is starting a shitty Youtube channel like those Red Letter Media losers, watching as cinema goes on and forgets about you.
That aside, Stuckmann "BvS" "fixed" script is enough proof to show film criticism is for losers that always tell themselves they can do better, but really can't. Just like /misc/
But how do you know you are speaking to someone that is accomplished in Hollywood or not and lurks here because he cant post his mind freely online? Hmm? I still stand by my opinion that the average /misc/tard can make a better movie than Cuckmann.
I already have. Won an award at a festival.
I've heard Macaulay Culkin will have a cameo in this. Literally "blink and you'll miss it".
I'll watch it just to see that if it turns out to be true.
And for the cringe, of course.
>I've heard Macaulay Culkin will have a cameo in this. Literally "blink and you'll miss it".
OH WOW THE GREAT ACTOR MACAULAY CULKIN! HE WAS SO HOT LIKE 40 YEARS AGO!
If it was Kieran i'd be impressed.
a cameo from a good actor would consume the entire budget
Remember when this guy had a big weepy coming out about his upbringing as a devout Jehovah Witness and how butthurt he is that they ostracized him for being a fag?