>Didn't she talk about molesting her little sister who she asked if she could talk about it beforehand and won't press charges, to attention prostitute
yes, and look, it worked, you're still talking about it.
>I have a masters degree in film
You know who doesn't? Literally EVERY good artist in ANY field. They're all naturals. They don't need school because they figured it out for themselves and they're often better anyways.
Good point. I wonder how many decent actor/directors actually have Masters degrees. In all reality, it's probably a detriment to getting a job
Plus these examples always ignore the obvious question: maybe your ideas just suck?
Obvious Lena nepotism aside. People do not want to have to read a fully realized Bible and some 7 season story arc to get a feel for your wholly nuanced idea.
If you can't distill what your show is going to be down into a few sentences, it will never be good.
Think about some of the best shows to ever air: >Show about the Mafia, but with a not-so-subtle backdrop of overlapping American family dynamics, the fall of empires, and modern psychology >show about the drug trade in Baltimore as seen through the lens of the hierarchy of the drug gangs, cops, detectives, politicians, journalists, and educational system >show about the lawlessness of the post-Civil War west taking place in a non-affiliated Dakota territory with recurring historical figures; written like a piece of Classical literature >a focus on the Rampart Police scandal and their direct effect on street crime, crime stats, and the rest of the police/detectives in their precinct both hating them but having to respect their work >a character study thriller of a group of people crash landing on a deserted island (or is it?) having to contend with faith, their past lives, and the intersecting nature of their beliefs, as well as their realities, being tested in realistic and supernatural ways >a deep dive into the wholly American religion of Mormonism centered on a man and his three wives and their larger-than-life, conjoined family as they deal with their seedier counterparts in the closed-off sect of polygamist relations, the growing hardware business he uses to prop up his lifestyle, and the interpersonal drama involved as seen through a cross-section of American religiosity, consumerism, morality, and faithfulness >When the patriarch of a family-owned funeral home, which is also literally their home, dies, his funeral reunites the black sheep older brother with the rest of his family as they contend with his death, and their business in helping others with their own loss, as they try to help each other cope
Did you guys ever read the Sony emails? By the time you're getting into a pitch meeting (whether merited or through connections) the people behind the table have met with a thousand people, heard a hundred pitches, read a dozen scripts, and have already decided on one potentially marketable show. You aren't competing with a thousand shows, you're competing with one that they've decided to greenlight. Your job is to make yours palatable in a pitch that they can tack onto a synopsis for their bosses.
The one-liner is how you describe the show to the people behind the table. You then give them, at most, 3 pages of one of your best written scenes involving the main character + 2-3 supporting characters. You then should have a separate page with a foil/antagonist/plot twist in their own set scene.
If at any point somebody is confused, just say something:
"When it comes to American exceptionalism, XYZ tends to do anything that it takes to make ends meet, achieve their goals, and as the sun is setting, make sure they can finish the day off with a bit of a buzz."
These people are not smart people. If you think writers or directors get where they are by nepotism, how the frick do you think the people that greenlight shows get hired? They want to think they just landed the next big thing.
If you happen to find a genuine person sitting across from you then drop the facade and unload your Bible on them.
But until you have a name for yourself or unless you're pitching to a new-in-the-woods production like Apple TV or Paramount+ you're just another random name quickly scrawled at the bottom of a sign in sheet.
Also I've co-written on 2 comedies and 1 serious drama. I'm working on my own show right now as I make ends meet and will be pitching by Fall.
This is an incredibly dishonest and ignorant argument.
Nowhere did Ahmed indicate that he didn't have an elevator pitch. From what he said, it sounds like they said him, "hey that sounds cool but where's the idea gonna go? Work on it a bit and come back to us" repeatedly.
And a cool-sounding one-line pitch isn't shit if you can't expand on it with everything ready when they take interest.
Already laid out in my other post. It's not about having an elevator pitch. It's about having an elevator pitch and having your best work in an easily digestible read.
Nobody in these pitch meetings expects you to have a compendium pre-written, if anything that shows you can't adapt to new ideas since you spent so much time fretting over a single story.
3-pages of scene-setting dialogue involving a main character and 2-3 characters that'll be spending a decent amount of time on screen, plus a separate sheet that shows a compelling Other involved in your storylines.
Nobody cares about overarching plotlines in these meetings. Nobody gives a frick if you have 6 seasons and a movie ready to go. By the time you're on a set with producers stroking their lubed dicks in your face your story will not be the one you wrote. Maybe if you have a well-receive 1st season they'll give you a more hands off approach-- or, if like I said, you're pitching to a new studio they'll give you carte blanche, which is a writer's wet-and-pipe dream; otherwise, give a good pitch and show that you can be pithy.
The moment you say the words "and then" in your pitch, they're already looking at their phones.
Jesus fricking christ, nobody cares. You sperg like that muslim shithead on Midnights' Edge that made me stop watching their shows. All you are is talk.
>producers say he's not prepared enough as an obviously bullshit reason to not hire someone who isn't connected >"no no, what they MEAN is that he's too prepared"
Are you fricking moronic?
I watched a guy walk into a pitch meeting (he was the nephew of some borderline no-name producer) and he loudly proclaimed: "I can't sum this story up so I'm going to act out the first episode."
And he spent two+ hours playing every role of the """first episode""" with variously voiced intones and changing positions in a few chairs he borrowed from the waiting room.
I was a gopher getting coffees at the time so I got to sit in the corner and watch them as the producers stared at their phones merely listening to a moron with no merit recite lines like a one man stage play.
After he was done they stood up, cordially thanked him, shook his hand and said it was great, they loved it, he'll hear from them about a contract in a few weeks. They then took an hour lunch break and spent the entire time laughing about him while eating a quinoa salad covered in Newman's Own ranch dressing (I bought it for them).
He was passionate, good looking, and had /some/ connections. But unless your father can literally piss a Midas touch more than his already golden stream, your pitch needs to be pithy and readable and marketable. If you have to act out, sit in, or otherwise carry your work beyond what you've specifically stated in a one-liner or written on a few sheets of paper, your entire passion project will be crumbled up and forgotten by the time an overweight-at-30-with-no-kids woman finishes her high calorie salad doused in bacon bits.
Your spoken words will literally never matter in a pitch meeting, so your one-liner better be printed on the first page. And never, ever title your own work. It's tacky and they'll spend more time riffing better names than paying attention to your dialogue.
Wew lad. If that guy wasn't the spoiled son of a pedophillic producer i'd feel bad for him >And never, ever title your own work
Huh. Didn't know that. Kinda moronic but i guess it explains why the Lucas Star Wars movies have subtitles like old movie serials whereas nu-Wars just has generic shit
How is a statement that takes less than 30 seconds to recite convoluted? Have you ever taken a communications course, because the dissolution of enlarged ideas into shorthand commentary is the bread and butter of pitches. Using multisyllabic words does not make something convoluted unless you're a middle schooler finishing your homework the same minute the teacher is collecting it.
>a deep dive into the wholly American religion of Mormonism
Gotta stop you there champ, actual Mormonism/LDS doesn't do that shit and hasn't for over a hundred years.
>Sex and the City only the girls are ugly and hairy and still get their periods and won't shut up about it. Oh and all the leads have rich, famous parents IRL.
But she stretched it to a page and a half because she's a pretentious "writer."
>A comedy with no script you lead but are unfunny and ugly? You got yourself a deal young lady!
she's israeli https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/dunham-lena
How do you write a page and a half about a tv show without talking about the plot or characters? What did she write some kind of summery of viewer trends on premium cable?
It's called Cronyism
You go in and smooze with the execs and your friend vouches for you and puts you over not the project.
It's how movies got green lit with just napkin drawings at a lunch in the middle of LA.
Buddy has the wrong idea of how the business works. They don't give a shit about your writing skills and degree. If you're don't have a benefactor at the table you're not getting shit made.
Little Furniture was garbage that had no real plot or anything of substance. Only interesting scene is Lena getting rail from behind in a gutter and left like the slag she is
It was good Indie Shclock for the time. I truly think if it wasn't for woke ideology, Lena would have made some kino by now. She was really on to something for a min
>Many girls love the entire thing.
A bad indicator of success when women and girls like absolute dog shit TV and movies.
It's like saying toddlers like Cocomelon so it must have been amazing. No, it was bright loud and the babies has a log in their diapers while watching.
the whole show is really very good, plus she wrote an episode which perfectly anticipated #METOO. also the last season finishes extremely well. for a mostly plotless dramedy that managed to run for 6 seasons it was very good.
>I have a masters degree in film and teach film at a top tier university. An over twenty five year professional career and I walk into pitches with a fully realized bible pilot and seven season arc
yeah but jarjars "bible" pitch didnt include a one page synopsis which summarized >propagandize casual sex >propagandize drugs and alcohol >progagandize abortion >propagandize women to hate children
Probably helped that Lena Dunham's parents were both rich and famous artists. Ahmed has a right to be salty, there's statistically no way he's a worse writer than this fat product of nepotism.
>Tfw you look up the background of most famous people nowadays >Vast majority are israeli or called me from wealth
I just saw recently that daisy ridley comes for m.a wealthy connected British family. I always wondered how such an ugly, untalented woman got to be the face of the newwstar wars trilogy
Lena Dunham had already made Tiny Furniture which is exactly the same as Girls. so she'd already demonstrated she could make what she was promising to make and just brought in an outline for the season.
He's entirely right, but wrong to think that hollywood will give a shit. The only thing they'll care about is blacklisting him for trying to expose their unbelievable nepotism.
>masters degree in film >top tier university >twenty five year professional career
Dude just have a good idea that can sell and hang around in Hollywood for a while and shill your shit, the last 14 years money was free and this fricker couldnt pitch his script.
I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Girls may be the best series representing our millennial generation that was in their 20s during 2010s living in big US cities.
You could try and prove me wrong, but I doubt it. What else is there, fricking big bang theory? This is our Seinfeld or Friends. Again, not proud of it, but it's a fact.
>Girls may be the best series representing our millennial generation that was in their 20s during 2010s living in big US cities >This is our Seinfeld or Friends
unironically this
>simple marketable idea
vs >book-long pitch that nobody but his art-house colleagues wanna watch
Which one has a better chance at getting bought by a tv network trying to make profits?
Now THIS is truly a cross-section of American exceptionalism if I've ever witnessed one. The literal gorilla-man, the emphasis on the crotch grabbing. The Terminally Online NEET MGTOW (but not an incel since he fricks his body pillow) juxtaposed with Cleetus the Car Mechanic overlapped in a beautiful Venn diagram of My Little Pony Fascism.
This is art deserving of a frame. This should be laminated and hung behind 3 inches of bulletproof glass.
muh vegana
little nigcel thinks he can't taking the wind from out of our queen's wings
Lena dunham of course. But Ahmed is just ignorant on the affairs of Hollywood unfortunately
morons
israelite vs Black person
The Ahmed Best? He is a homie.
It's almost as if your degree is worthless and it all comes down to nepotism.
This. Between nepotism and woke diversity Hollywood is killing itself
Based Jar Jar naming the israelite israelite.
This. Nepotism. Without which Girls would have stayed unknown.
One on the right is textbook definition of ugly-cute
>One on the right is textbook definition of ugly-cute
looks like a lanky jenny nicholson
women just can't be ugly unless they are obese or acid attacked. it's one of their many privileges.
I used to be really into her.
I literally watched for shoshanna she was so cute
And op is the textbook definition of Black person sneed
Breaking news: Hollywood is all about nepotism and who you know or blow.
Lena Dunham for being the product of nepotism and sexual abuse.
I'm pretty sure Lena was the one doing the abuse. Didn't she molest her little sister?
>Didn't she talk about molesting her little sister who she asked if she could talk about it beforehand and won't press charges, to attention prostitute
yes, and look, it worked, you're still talking about it.
>it worked
Did it really? Lena Dunham hasn't been relevant in years. I only remembered that bombshell because of this thread.
>I have a masters degree in film
You know who doesn't? Literally EVERY good artist in ANY field. They're all naturals. They don't need school because they figured it out for themselves and they're often better anyways.
Good point. I wonder how many decent actor/directors actually have Masters degrees. In all reality, it's probably a detriment to getting a job
Plus these examples always ignore the obvious question: maybe your ideas just suck?
Obvious Lena nepotism aside. People do not want to have to read a fully realized Bible and some 7 season story arc to get a feel for your wholly nuanced idea.
If you can't distill what your show is going to be down into a few sentences, it will never be good.
Think about some of the best shows to ever air:
>Show about the Mafia, but with a not-so-subtle backdrop of overlapping American family dynamics, the fall of empires, and modern psychology
>show about the drug trade in Baltimore as seen through the lens of the hierarchy of the drug gangs, cops, detectives, politicians, journalists, and educational system
>show about the lawlessness of the post-Civil War west taking place in a non-affiliated Dakota territory with recurring historical figures; written like a piece of Classical literature
>a focus on the Rampart Police scandal and their direct effect on street crime, crime stats, and the rest of the police/detectives in their precinct both hating them but having to respect their work
>a character study thriller of a group of people crash landing on a deserted island (or is it?) having to contend with faith, their past lives, and the intersecting nature of their beliefs, as well as their realities, being tested in realistic and supernatural ways
>a deep dive into the wholly American religion of Mormonism centered on a man and his three wives and their larger-than-life, conjoined family as they deal with their seedier counterparts in the closed-off sect of polygamist relations, the growing hardware business he uses to prop up his lifestyle, and the interpersonal drama involved as seen through a cross-section of American religiosity, consumerism, morality, and faithfulness
>When the patriarch of a family-owned funeral home, which is also literally their home, dies, his funeral reunites the black sheep older brother with the rest of his family as they contend with his death, and their business in helping others with their own loss, as they try to help each other cope
I got most of them but what show is the second to last one surrounding Mormonism?
Big Love. Definitely one of my top 3 favorite shows.
Did you watch Under The Banner of Heaven? It started out great but fizzled out at the end unfortunately
This. Lena Dunham could've just walked in and said "sex and the city in Brooklyn" and it would be a good pitch.
Dunham didn't get a multimillion dollar deal for a show based on her pitch. Judd Apatow got it for her. He's responsible for that pig.
>Implying that any of these one-liners amounts to an actual pitch
I'm sure it's that simple man, how many shows have you got on the air again?
Did you guys ever read the Sony emails? By the time you're getting into a pitch meeting (whether merited or through connections) the people behind the table have met with a thousand people, heard a hundred pitches, read a dozen scripts, and have already decided on one potentially marketable show. You aren't competing with a thousand shows, you're competing with one that they've decided to greenlight. Your job is to make yours palatable in a pitch that they can tack onto a synopsis for their bosses.
The one-liner is how you describe the show to the people behind the table. You then give them, at most, 3 pages of one of your best written scenes involving the main character + 2-3 supporting characters. You then should have a separate page with a foil/antagonist/plot twist in their own set scene.
If at any point somebody is confused, just say something:
"When it comes to American exceptionalism, XYZ tends to do anything that it takes to make ends meet, achieve their goals, and as the sun is setting, make sure they can finish the day off with a bit of a buzz."
These people are not smart people. If you think writers or directors get where they are by nepotism, how the frick do you think the people that greenlight shows get hired? They want to think they just landed the next big thing.
If you happen to find a genuine person sitting across from you then drop the facade and unload your Bible on them.
But until you have a name for yourself or unless you're pitching to a new-in-the-woods production like Apple TV or Paramount+ you're just another random name quickly scrawled at the bottom of a sign in sheet.
Also I've co-written on 2 comedies and 1 serious drama. I'm working on my own show right now as I make ends meet and will be pitching by Fall.
These are all terrible robotic pitches
This is an incredibly dishonest and ignorant argument.
Nowhere did Ahmed indicate that he didn't have an elevator pitch. From what he said, it sounds like they said him, "hey that sounds cool but where's the idea gonna go? Work on it a bit and come back to us" repeatedly.
And a cool-sounding one-line pitch isn't shit if you can't expand on it with everything ready when they take interest.
Already laid out in my other post. It's not about having an elevator pitch. It's about having an elevator pitch and having your best work in an easily digestible read.
Nobody in these pitch meetings expects you to have a compendium pre-written, if anything that shows you can't adapt to new ideas since you spent so much time fretting over a single story.
3-pages of scene-setting dialogue involving a main character and 2-3 characters that'll be spending a decent amount of time on screen, plus a separate sheet that shows a compelling Other involved in your storylines.
Nobody cares about overarching plotlines in these meetings. Nobody gives a frick if you have 6 seasons and a movie ready to go. By the time you're on a set with producers stroking their lubed dicks in your face your story will not be the one you wrote. Maybe if you have a well-receive 1st season they'll give you a more hands off approach-- or, if like I said, you're pitching to a new studio they'll give you carte blanche, which is a writer's wet-and-pipe dream; otherwise, give a good pitch and show that you can be pithy.
The moment you say the words "and then" in your pitch, they're already looking at their phones.
Jesus fricking christ, nobody cares. You sperg like that muslim shithead on Midnights' Edge that made me stop watching their shows. All you are is talk.
>producers say he's not prepared enough as an obviously bullshit reason to not hire someone who isn't connected
>"no no, what they MEAN is that he's too prepared"
Are you fricking moronic?
are you implying that they do not have a quick synopsis written before the full-length descriptor?
I watched a guy walk into a pitch meeting (he was the nephew of some borderline no-name producer) and he loudly proclaimed: "I can't sum this story up so I'm going to act out the first episode."
And he spent two+ hours playing every role of the """first episode""" with variously voiced intones and changing positions in a few chairs he borrowed from the waiting room.
I was a gopher getting coffees at the time so I got to sit in the corner and watch them as the producers stared at their phones merely listening to a moron with no merit recite lines like a one man stage play.
After he was done they stood up, cordially thanked him, shook his hand and said it was great, they loved it, he'll hear from them about a contract in a few weeks. They then took an hour lunch break and spent the entire time laughing about him while eating a quinoa salad covered in Newman's Own ranch dressing (I bought it for them).
He was passionate, good looking, and had /some/ connections. But unless your father can literally piss a Midas touch more than his already golden stream, your pitch needs to be pithy and readable and marketable. If you have to act out, sit in, or otherwise carry your work beyond what you've specifically stated in a one-liner or written on a few sheets of paper, your entire passion project will be crumbled up and forgotten by the time an overweight-at-30-with-no-kids woman finishes her high calorie salad doused in bacon bits.
Your spoken words will literally never matter in a pitch meeting, so your one-liner better be printed on the first page. And never, ever title your own work. It's tacky and they'll spend more time riffing better names than paying attention to your dialogue.
You're too smart for this site, leave us morons alone
Wew lad. If that guy wasn't the spoiled son of a pedophillic producer i'd feel bad for him
>And never, ever title your own work
Huh. Didn't know that. Kinda moronic but i guess it explains why the Lucas Star Wars movies have subtitles like old movie serials whereas nu-Wars just has generic shit
so I'll repeat:
are you implying that they do not have a quick synopsis written before the full-length descriptor?
Is this a satire comment? Because every description gets increasingly convoluted for a pitch
How is a statement that takes less than 30 seconds to recite convoluted? Have you ever taken a communications course, because the dissolution of enlarged ideas into shorthand commentary is the bread and butter of pitches. Using multisyllabic words does not make something convoluted unless you're a middle schooler finishing your homework the same minute the teacher is collecting it.
>Big Love
based
Buzzword extravaganza!
>failed student uses the word buzzword
Living with your parents at 25 is financially smart, but socially moronic. And I bet you spend all your money.
Buzzword is a buzzword stupid
>a deep dive into the wholly American religion of Mormonism
Gotta stop you there champ, actual Mormonism/LDS doesn't do that shit and hasn't for over a hundred years.
t. LDS
the show itself clarified this point
meesa need to learn hebrew.
diversity hire vs nepotism
Girls season 1 was unironically a good show. There, I said it.
>Sex and the City only the girls are ugly and hairy and still get their periods and won't shut up about it. Oh and all the leads have rich, famous parents IRL.
But she stretched it to a page and a half because she's a pretentious "writer."
lmao she's in the tribe you're not
Lena used to put stones inside her little sister's pussy
>A comedy with no script you lead but are unfunny and ugly? You got yourself a deal young lady!
she's israeli https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/dunham-lena
She put rocks in her sister's vegana! And she gets to have a show? What a sick joke!
Just israelite things
Someone named Ahmed should already be privy to Judaism
How do you write a page and a half about a tv show without talking about the plot or characters? What did she write some kind of summery of viewer trends on premium cable?
It's called Cronyism
You go in and smooze with the execs and your friend vouches for you and puts you over not the project.
It's how movies got green lit with just napkin drawings at a lunch in the middle of LA.
Buddy has the wrong idea of how the business works. They don't give a shit about your writing skills and degree. If you're don't have a benefactor at the table you're not getting shit made.
The first page said, in very large font "I will frick and suck, uncle goldstein" the second page: "please let me be on tv"
Season 1 of Girls was actually genius.
Many girls love the entire thing.
Not sure what they saw in pudgey israelite Lena, but it was correct.
Pretty sure she did the movie Little Furniture first which was good
Little Furniture was garbage that had no real plot or anything of substance. Only interesting scene is Lena getting rail from behind in a gutter and left like the slag she is
It was good Indie Shclock for the time. I truly think if it wasn't for woke ideology, Lena would have made some kino by now. She was really on to something for a min
>Many girls love the entire thing.
A bad indicator of success when women and girls like absolute dog shit TV and movies.
It's like saying toddlers like Cocomelon so it must have been amazing. No, it was bright loud and the babies has a log in their diapers while watching.
the whole show is really very good, plus she wrote an episode which perfectly anticipated #METOO. also the last season finishes extremely well. for a mostly plotless dramedy that managed to run for 6 seasons it was very good.
I don't think this qualifies as teaching at university
>sees how Dunham got her show
>switches from teaching at a university to saying he works at a "temple"
Very clever.
>I have a masters degree in film and teach film at a top tier university. An over twenty five year professional career and I walk into pitches with a fully realized bible pilot and seven season arc
yeah but jarjars "bible" pitch didnt include a one page synopsis which summarized
>propagandize casual sex
>propagandize drugs and alcohol
>progagandize abortion
>propagandize women to hate children
if it said that he'd have his show
Redpilled.
Probably helped that Lena Dunham's parents were both rich and famous artists. Ahmed has a right to be salty, there's statistically no way he's a worse writer than this fat product of nepotism.
>Tfw you look up the background of most famous people nowadays
>Vast majority are israeli or called me from wealth
I just saw recently that daisy ridley comes for m.a wealthy connected British family. I always wondered how such an ugly, untalented woman got to be the face of the newwstar wars trilogy
Lena Dunham had already made Tiny Furniture which is exactly the same as Girls. so she'd already demonstrated she could make what she was promising to make and just brought in an outline for the season.
girls was wildly successful though
He's entirely right, but wrong to think that hollywood will give a shit. The only thing they'll care about is blacklisting him for trying to expose their unbelievable nepotism.
Hitler for not actually killing six million israelites
without girls we wouldn't have Adam driver so thanks Lena
>masters degree in film
>top tier university
>twenty five year professional career
Dude just have a good idea that can sell and hang around in Hollywood for a while and shill your shit, the last 14 years money was free and this fricker couldnt pitch his script.
I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Girls may be the best series representing our millennial generation that was in their 20s during 2010s living in big US cities.
You could try and prove me wrong, but I doubt it. What else is there, fricking big bang theory? This is our Seinfeld or Friends. Again, not proud of it, but it's a fact.
>Girls may be the best series representing our millennial generation that was in their 20s during 2010s living in big US cities
>This is our Seinfeld or Friends
unironically this
No one cares you talentless money has-been
He's not just some shitskin, he's been in some incredible works. Google the iconic role he played in the late
YOUSA frickin gay
Lena for molesting her sister
>Black person: I have a useless degree
>Gib job now yo
I will not watch a show named Girls no matter how good it may be because I hate women on principle
>simple marketable idea
vs
>book-long pitch that nobody but his art-house colleagues wanna watch
Which one has a better chance at getting bought by a tv network trying to make profits?
>>I have a masters degree in film
Just be israeli, bro
Now THIS is truly a cross-section of American exceptionalism if I've ever witnessed one. The literal gorilla-man, the emphasis on the crotch grabbing. The Terminally Online NEET MGTOW (but not an incel since he fricks his body pillow) juxtaposed with Cleetus the Car Mechanic overlapped in a beautiful Venn diagram of My Little Pony Fascism.
This is art deserving of a frame. This should be laminated and hung behind 3 inches of bulletproof glass.