why did it flop?

why did it flop?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Honest answer? Because elites don't like some of the messages in it. The revenge sacrifice, a mother being a sick evil, taking justice into your own hands, central authority being shown as being bad etc

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      maybe it's just a boring fricking piece of shit though?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Cringe. the real answer is normie audiences dont give a frick about gay viking shit. Only incels and racist care about that shit because white people are too pussy to do anything "based" now so incels have to look to white cultures of the past

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I like viking shit but I wouldn't mind movies based around other military forces throughout history. It's usually either this or samurai which are the usual suspects.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >around other military forces throughout history
          what are some good ones to do a movie/series on?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Spartans might be interesting, not the 300 route but going through the actual society, warts and all. I’d love to see a Roman style Full Metal Jacket—with training and then war, probably during one of the israeli Wars during the early empire. Rogers Rangers would be kino too, but I don’t think any director has the balls to do that now.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Unironically we haven't gotten a good Alamo movie in 50 years

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Seems like a tough sell for Hollywood, the Texas revolution isn't as morally unambiguous as something like WW2

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Pee Wee's Big Adventure is only 35 years old though.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I liked the 04 one well enough

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >the real answer is normie audiences dont give a frick about gay viking shit
        That isn’t true at all. The 2010s and early 2020s were filled with tons of Viking slop, like History’s Vikings and AC Valhalla. Northman came at the end and gave an actual look at old Norse society, which came a little late as Viking fatigue had already set in.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          AC Valhalla was trash that did not sell well and i dont give a shit about whatever history channel is doing. What you gonna tell me that people wanted 20 seasons of pawn stars too?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Vikings and AC Valhalla
            besides these I can't think of any others. definitely not an insanely notable trend

            Both were very popular. There was also Last Kingdom, the Thor movies, God of War 2018, Vinland saga just off the top of my head.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              thats why the film was so successful right?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                moron

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Vikings and AC Valhalla
          besides these I can't think of any others. definitely not an insanely notable trend

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Vikings and AC Valhalla
          besides these I can't think of any others. definitely not an insanely notable trend

          It's less vikings and more grimdark low fantasy/pseudo-history, which viking shit fits into. It started with GoT and Skyrim.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Honest answer? Because elites don't like some of the messages in it.
      Idiotic take.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Disagree. Anything that wasn’t a deconstruction of masculinity was going to be torn down

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I think you've built a culture war binary in your brain that you can't shake

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Go look at the way the New Yorker, the New York Times or even the Boston globe reviews movies.

            Richard Brody is a perfect example. Pic is review of one of his “top movies of the century”

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              But you haven't even given an example of this toxic masculinity feminist smear campaign or whatever the frick you think the northman went through.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Like this one?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >komon news
                You're literally doing it to yourself bro, digging for rage bait articles by literal who publications.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >No they weren't, they were touting it as anti-woke/pro-white.
                Wanna bet?

                The guardian and the daily mail.
                There are a whole series of these

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                article literally says "hijack" they aren't attributing any of this to the film. Is this really the best evidence you have of a smear campaign?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Whatever you say bro. Move the goalposts all you want. The media pushed it as a movie being celebrated by whites supremacists.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Trying to turn absolutely everything into some weirdo culture war shit is lame man. Hope you find peace

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Trying to turn absolutely everything into some weirdo culture war shit is lame man. Hope you find peace

                I think you might have reading comprehension issues if you don't get the subtext of those articles clearing to make associations and push baseless horseshit.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I think your evidence for a smear campaign being daily mail and komon news articles speaks for itself

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You mean all those example you were given and are ignoring? Okay gay. Also, wasn't me, I am also calling you gay.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I mean those examples he had to dig for by literal who publications yes. Quite the smear campaign

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >literal who publications
                So which publications would have had to join in along with the articles he already presented, for it to be an actual smear campaign, if this is not enough?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                NYT or some shit like that not the Times of Bangladesh

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >The New Yorker
          Only good thing about that rag is the crossword.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Spot on. All the kvetching in the responses you've already got proves you right. Odin be with (You).

  2. 1 month ago
    sage

    it was boring. generic revenge story with a tiny twist nothing special.but at it had no Black folk, so i watched it anyway

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Nicole Kidman is box office poison

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It was alright, but kinda meh. His previous work was far superior. Also the name is bad. Makes it sound like some dumb 80s slop.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ebin trad chuds would rather stay at home and goon to hentai games than face going to the movies alone.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It performed adequately. Prestige films can run at a loss, if it attracts director and acting talent to the studio, which it did.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >which it did.
      such as?

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    soulless like all of his movies

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The Witch is peak SOVL tho

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The studio saw the early screenings and then made Eggers recut it significantly in an attempt to broaden it's mainstream appeal.

    As a result, it was too weird for the mainstream normies that were expecting to see a blockbuster historical popcorn action film like Gladiator or Braveheart, but it wasn't nearly weird enough for Robert Eggers fans who expected to see an art horror film like the Lighthouse or the Witch.

    It was just a bad idea to hand the guy mountain of cash and expect him to make a totally different movie than the studio wants.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How tf do you know? First time I heard about it. I think it's certified kino btw.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      real

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Non-meme answer is marketing. The film barely had any promotion, and in NYC they put up banners for it without even putting the film’s title. As said, the few who did see the trailers and weren’t familiar with Eggers’ previous work assumed it was generic Viking slop with bearded men drinking mead, getting fade cuts, and mindlessly killing (but not in a racist way) rather than an actual historically accurate, and rather mystical and trippy look into Norse mythology and society of the 10th century. (This can be blamed on the marketing focusing on the Village raid scene) Also, the lack of political content telling you how to feel, but immersing you in the values of the era was too strange for some. As a result it underperformed massively, but the silver lining is that it ended up doing well when it came to home video and has since gained a following, especially among Norse mythology and Viking age enthusiasts. It’s amazing to me that I remember talking to “I HECKIN LOVE VIKING” people back in 2022 and they hadn’t even heard of this film, even though it was in theaters then, that’s how bad marketing was

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >It’s amazing to me that I remember talking to “I HECKIN LOVE VIKING” people back in 2022
        there were NO viking people left in 2022, that gay viking tv show poisoned the well on that.
        it as like walking dead or sons of anarchy - it got so bad in quality and wokeness by the end that all the viking wannabes started cringing and abandoned ship.
        if the movie had come out 5 years earlier during viking craze would've done way better(it was likely greenlit during that era too)

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >wokeness
          You mean how the amerimutt version censored all the nudity?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            i didn't watch the show past season 1, i remember the women being given a bigger role every season and it being kinda pozzed with rainbow shit

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It was good and a breath of fresh air, it just needed to be more. Eggers is on record saying this is his version, no "director's cut" exists or will exist, which is a shame. It's what he's happy with, as much as can be.

      This is actually what happened

      it was boring. generic revenge story with a tiny twist nothing special.but at it had no Black folk, so i watched it anyway

      soulless like all of his movies

      These are gays

      Conan only really worked because of how charismatic Arnold is. Without that, it can't transcend the camp.

      This anon is quite possibly posting with a dick in his ass right now

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Personally I think it’s fine for what it is. What kind of “more” do you have in mind? I don’t mean that as a challenge, I’m just curious.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I actually agree, I really enjoyed it, but I do wish more of Eggers' autistic historical detail could have made it in, because what's there is really interesting. That's really all I mean.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I actually agree with you as a historical autist myself.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >an art horror film like the Lighthouse or the Witch

      I never got this. Both of those movies are quite straightforward and The Witch even did very well at the box office. Northman is way weirder than either of them

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The Witch is honestly terrible. Im glad i gave lighthouse a shot tho

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >The Witch is honestly terrible
          have a nice day

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Sorry it just is. It meanders for hours and the basic premise could have been done in a 50 minute short film. I have no idea what about it justifies its runtime.

            You a24 morons just think slow boil = good

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              HOLY SHIT I GOOGLED IT AND ITS ONLY 90 MINS

              IT FEELS SO MUCH LONGER

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              My man here doesn't get atmosphere or how actually true to its tagline it is

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                i've seen better rural American atmosphere. hell i live in it, even the premise is simple. Nothing about the movie is complex or mind blowing

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                It's very specifically a Puritan folk tale about isolation and the Devil. It's not meant to be "complex" or anything, it's a faithful representation of this story as plain as can be. This filtered many people. It's about the historical detail, the stark visuals, and atmosphere, not what you think a witch movie should be.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >It's about the historical detail, the stark visuals, and atmosphere, not what you think a witch movie should be.
                its le boring on purpose excuse

                alright well at least we agree it's nothing

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You really got filtered by such a simple film? Couldn't meet it on its own terms? Not enough giant monsters for ya, buddy?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Not enough giant monsters for ya, buddy?
                You gonna run the gambit of reddit defenses?
                Nah the real issue was the lack of jump scares

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You're seething a little, he got you bro

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The Witch had a $4M budget and made $40M, and was made when Anya-Taylor Joy was a no-name, and the Lighthouse had an $11M budget and made $19M.

        The Northman cost $70-$90M.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          And?

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Northman boxoffice nerds! We're back with another why did this piece of cinema flop bros. Get in here!

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's a pretty straightforward sword and sorcery flick akin to Conan. Not bad, but not something that hasn't been done before.
    On the plus side, it doesn't really subvert anything which is good.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Conan only really worked because of how charismatic Arnold is. Without that, it can't transcend the camp.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Conan only really worked because of how charismatic Arnold is
        Are you serious? Conan was a plank of wood in that movie, he was only saved by top tier direction. Apart from being the perfect physical body for the role, Arnold was the worst part of the movie. Not that he was so bad that it ruined the film, but you could tell he wasn't an actor by that point.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    people were still theater shy from the pandemic, it was bad timing.

    if this had come out in like 2018 and rode the wave of post-"vikings/the last kingdom" hype it would have done much better

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Eggers was punching above his weight and it shows

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    A charismatic void playing the lead in a character driven movie, maybe that was "realistic" but ultimately boring.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Starts off strong but then devolves into crazy hijinks and pranks at a farm for like 2/3 duration.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >the past is ... LE BLUE TINT!
    That's literally why I didn't go see it

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    When I first watched it I thought it was awesome but having read the icelandic sagas since, I think the story is just way too dark and depressing
    There should have been more strange moments, digressions, epic battles and funny scenes

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I swear to god I thought this was called The Norseman

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    plot was kino for the average watcher, people didn't had a good fantasy story for a long time, but this public wants an epic with a happy ending like medieval romances
    basically too much Shakespeare and not enough Conan the Barbarian

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The film does have a happy ending, but an esoteric one. Amleth avenges his father, “saves” his mother, and kills Fjolnir, but on top of that he has endured the safety of his bloodline and ascends to Valhalla. An old Norse audience would have thought the film had a perfect ending.

      Disagree. Anything that wasn’t a deconstruction of masculinity was going to be torn down

      Yeah, remember critics saying that white supremacists on this board were posting threads being like “Heil Hitler this film looks good!” It was beset by a smear campaign from the start

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >remember critics saying that white supremacists on this board were posting threads being like “Heil Hitler this film looks good!”
        No they weren't, they were touting it as anti-woke/pro-white.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >No they weren't, they were touting it as anti-woke/pro-white.
          Wanna bet?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >critics saying that white supremacists on this board were posting threads being like “Heil Hitler this film looks good!”
        Good lord, I forgot about that. It got so bad that Eggers had to come out and condemn Nazis

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >An old Norse audience would have thought the film had a perfect ending.
        Finally someone gets it. Same deal as The Witch, it's just honest, unabashed historical storytelling FOR those eras that's still accessible.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I love that critique anon will use in real life if it ever comes up.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i fricking hate modern color grading

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe if it was named Hamlet the Viking or Hamlet the Conqueror it would have gotten a lot of anglophile Shakespeare nerds to actually check it out. Northman sounds like more Vikeslop, most of us already played God of War and Ass Creed and got the Viking thing out of our systems. But the "true story of Amleth" sounds dope to some people probably.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >the witch
      >the lighthouse
      >the northman
      He had to do, but he's fricking if Nosferatu isn't "The Vampire" or "The Undead"

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Oh good call I forgot about his little naming scheme he does as an auteur

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Russia already did it except better.

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >went in expecting to watch a Viking action movie a la 13th warrior
    >instead got a trippy ass slow burn pseudo historical drama about le revenge
    >also Anya used a shitty body double again
    Yeah it was fricking awful. Glad I went to a cinema that served booze

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >great first act showing how weird and violent everything is
    >let's spend the next hour and a half on this lame farm doing a bunch of boring bullshit before the movie finally gets good again in the last 10 minutes

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Will Anya ever actually go nude on camera? So tired of her faceless body doubles

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It Flipped Instead Of Flopped

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    lol i remember how Cinemaphile thought this film would save hollywood from Black folk and rejuvenate the white race. it's a hard 6/10.

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    for me it's that the women aren't hot enough.
    kidman is too old and the gal looks like a praying mantis.
    no desire to watch that shit.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      kidman is very obviously bogged in it too which was a bit distracting. they didn't have plastic surgery back then

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Fish face b***h was in it, making it unwatchable

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Bad advertising. They don't even put the name of the movie on posters/murals

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's a perfectly mediocre flick. Eggers really shit the bed with the writing, dialogue, and few action/combat sequences. Lead isn't compelling enough to make anyone give a shit. Production values and a few good visuals aren't enough to carry a dud like this.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Eggers really shit the bed with the writing, dialogue, and few action/combat sequences
      Gimme examples of "bad writing and dialogue"

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        A lot of the dialogue was just blatantly exposition, forced in clumsily. As were the lead's monologues, which didn't add anything otherwise. As far as the writing, it was all over the place. One glaring example was when the lead gets captured, then hallucinates that a valkyrie whisked him away. Then it's explained that Anya's character somehow rode away with him. First of all, she wouldn't even have known he'd be there, 2nd she would have been just as conspicuous as he was approaching the camp, and third she was tiny and feeble and wouldn't even have been able to lift him up onto the horse to escape with him. I get wanting to keep things mysterious or have that sense of myth, but he tried to make it actually plausible otherwise and fell flat on his face.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >you need to provide proof
    >proof provided
    >no not that proof

    fricking lol

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I loved the movie but there was absolutely no marketing for it.
    >anon down here crying bout the film spending time at the farm
    They are depicting life at a Northern European village in the Early Middle Ages. And there were plenty of cool and beautiful scenes during that. Whats wrong with that?
    >watched the film while high on chocolate edible magic mushrooms

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >a smear campaign was run
    >ok what's your evidence?
    >h-here's a daily male and komon news article
    you culture war geeks do it to yourself

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Moving the goalposts is an informal fallacy in which evidence presented in response to a specific claim is dismissed and some other (often greater) evidence is demanded. That is, after an attempt has been made to score a goal, the goalposts are moved to exclude the attempt.[4] The problem with changing the rules of the game is that the meaning of the result is changed, too.[5]

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        but the heckin fallacy 🙁

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You're wrong, everyone knows it, and you even have a boring dishonest argument with a fricking specific term. You're just sad at this point.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I'm correct and you're seething, it's ok let it out

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              No you're just very boring

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I'm very correct and I think it struck a nerve in your culture war brain

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >if you notice it you're le...obsessed with culture war!
                >but the people who write those articles are somehow not obsessed with culture war

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >but the people who write those articles are somehow not obsessed with culture war
                Literally never said that I think they're freaks just like you.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Why are you obsessed about me?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >ESL creature
                why do I waste my time

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                why waste your time indeed

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Because it's trash

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Because it had no big stars or other form of brand recognition. Normies do not care about who Robert Eggers or Alexander Skarsgård, and only know Nicole Kidman as Tom Cruise's ex.The only person with any real pull for normies was Anya Taylor-Joy, and the people who liked her from that shitty chess drama would take one look at the marketing and say "Not for me."

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i was expecting a viking epic, basically a viking perspective of path finder, instead i got a small squabble on a farm
    started to skip forward to all the action scenes after 30-40 minutes in

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    it filtered normalgays.
    in the movies story it was a mix of in universe fact/fiction, but none of this was explained outright so it was probably very confusing to normies

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The generic revenge story ruined the movie. It went all downhill once he went to Iceland.

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    too white

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Correct only israeli demoralization propaganda is praised by israeli journalists.

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