Historical movies are now certified box office poison. This is most likely due to declining general historical knowledge. Once upon a time you could reliably set a movie in the Roman Empire, Biblical Israel, the Middle Ages, Viking era or whatever and you could rely on most people to have at least a passing familiarity with the time period and the characters before seeing the film. If not due to better schooling then at least due to things like literature or church. Nowadays your average person - including adults, not just children - is likely more familiar with the Marvel cinematic universe than they are with their own history. Who is interested in going to see a film they know nothing about and don't recognise anything from?
Cinema is practically dead today other than capeshit and franchise movies so it's no wonder it flopped. Might as well start making our own kino at this point.
Either he's delusional or a pawn of higher powers, either way I felt frustrated when he couldn't kill the usurper because he's not on the volcano yet.
There are long stretches where is accomplished, for example the protag becomes the slave overseer but he already had not no problem roaming around at night.
His lover was just there for romance and added nothing to the plot.
It seems the film was cut a lot, for example Bjork does nothing.
>protag becomes the slave overseer
Legitimizes his relationship with the witch. >His lover was just there for romance and added nothing to the plot
He's there so he can sacrifice himself for her and have off-spring. She gives him some humanity and at the end he's opened up to a degree. Too little too late but still. >It seems the film was cut a lot, for example Bjork does nothing
Sets him back on his path of vengeance.
what? she literally tells him to "remember for whom you shed your last teardrop," which is his father. he immediately resolves to leave the vikings and find Fjolnir
>Popular with female audience
This has been proven false half a dozen times. Tarzan, Disconnect, True Blood, Free Your Mind, Mute, etc. He shows up shirtless is nearly every movie and show that he's in, and yet never attracts females or gays to watch. His body is a novelty people post pictures of online, but don't bother paying for.
Most of them had some redeemable qualities. Amleth was relatively merciful, Fjolnir was a decent father and even Kidman's character seemed to have been a decent wife and mother to Fjolnir and her younger son. The witch wasn't entirely unkind either as you could see in both her scene in the Slavic village and on the boat after the raid.
You mean the same West that after WW2 decided to start wars to subjugate rebellious colonies? Like the Dutch in Indonesia, where they killed thousands with literal death squads and hundreds of thousands dead civilians? Or do you mean the British in India and Kenya, where they LITERALLY killed 100,000 Mau-Mau civilians in "work camps". Or do you mean the French in Indochina, where they waged a near total war, which set in motion the Vietnam war and basically ended with the deaths of over 5-10 million South East Asians? Or do you mean the Americans, who waged genocide against the native Americans up until 50 years ago, with forced sterilization of native women?
Whites are literally the ones who implemented concepts such as 'no slavery' and 'equality' due to their Christian culture. If any other culture was ascendant instead you wouldn't be sitting in a nice western house on a nice western computer talking on the nice western internet, you would be a slave in a field and billions would have died instead of millions.
lmao reddit tard totally missing the point as usual, the only reason your listed atrocities can even be considered atrocities is because the west is exceptionally peaceful and polite. If you had no peaceful, even-handed civilization to live in, you would refer to those genocides and atrocities as "war".
Lmao, Europe only had a 70 year respite without trying to destroy itself. And now there is war raging there, yet again.
Whites are the most violent race
>nooo the burning of the Library of Alexandria totally happened because.. I just know it okay? >also LE JOOS have meds
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Destroy what was left >Oh no it just so happens to not have anything inside what a coincidence oh well >Destroy other religions in Europe and do the same to them >But we'd never do it because we just wouldn't >Le joos while worshipping an actual Hebrew
Here's your order Mr
>This movie was straight garbage through and through. A revenge tale with whites acting like deviants and savages was a stupid fricking premise.
You are part of the problem. A brainlet population that doesn't have the capacity to objectively appreciate historicity.
these tismos that cant escape slave morality and yet somehow still gravitate around white nationalism are the absolute worst. Your conception of good is pure goy
it had a soft opening weekend, but made between $70 and $80 million at the box office globally, plus it was #1 in VOD on itunes for a couple of weeks. add in bluray sales and it brobably just about broke even if the $90 million post-reshoot final budget tally is accurate
i didn't like it very much (i don't like eggers or a24 in general, but i got dragged to it) and it was probably dumb to give a niche period piece such a big budget, but it wasn't exactly a disastrous loss for the studio imo
The theatre culture is just different now. People only see a movie in the theatres if it is part of a big franchise blockbuster.
Everything else is relegated to streaming now.
It flopped not because it was terrible or anything, but just because the entertainment culture doesn't allow it to make money.
It's a fantasy film pretending it's not a fantasy film. Also, it not comfy or cozy at all. Also, it's too weird like with the father and son going into a cave to yiff and fart.
For what it was trying to do it felt oddly feeble.
>king comes back and everyone talks epic shit but the "village" he is ruling is like 5-6 huts >raid on slavic village again feels small and cheap >big revenge plot is infiltrating a farm and working there for n+1 days in squalor
His previous movies were very minimalistic and it worked for the stories they were trying to tell. But this felt like it needed a grander scope and stage.
The second part in particular is tedious since the story and the main character's drive loses all momentum.
>king comes back and everyone talks epic shit but the "village" he is ruling is like 5-6 huts
you don't remember the guy telling amleth that harald fairhair ran fjolnir out of the orkneys and he was forced to become a shit-caked farmer in backwater iceland?
how big do you think kingdoms were in the 9th century? after the western roman empire fell there were dozens and dozens of kings in western europe. the word king comes from the proto-germanic "kuningaz" which means kin-protector. anybody who was in charge of the defense of their extended family was a king.
to be fair some of the deleted scenes make the extent of the town and the size of the mead hall more obvious, and the scope is a little lacking without them
it's probably a good thing in the long run. shouldn't have spend so much money. bet he could do it with a tenth of the budget if he had been given only that, and the movie would have been a major hit instead of a major flop.
>not a pre-existing franchise >too morally and thematically ambiguous and complex for mass audiences >audiences demand a huge budget from this genre (historical "epic")
I thought it was pretty good but it was definitely too high budget, probably should have been filmed in some eastern euro place for cheap and not during covid and shouldn't have been released just after covid either.
I think in 10 years it will become a cult classic.
NOONE BEYOND THE ONLINE, NEOPAGANISTIC, ETHNOTRIBAL, SOCIAL CLUBS THAT POLLUTE THE WORLD WIDE WEB ACTUALLY THINKS THAT MEDIEVAL, NORDIC, MARITIME BARBARIANS WERE «C 0o L».
Too generic, no charisma or fun. Just looked dark and bloody and depressing. Coming off all the bullshit the country has just been through, not the best time for Eggers period gloom aesthetic.
Too generic, no charisma or fun. Just looked dark and bloody and depressing. Coming off all the bullshit the country has just been through, not the best time for Eggers period gloom aesthetic.
these
conan was someone you could root for/identify with
northbro literally just moped around for 2 hours
too niche, I liked it but I wouldn't take or recommend too many people to go see it
I went to see it with 3 buddies and one of their girls and was the only one who had seen an eggers movie, the lighthouse, and knew and told them before even seeing it >this is going to be a weird movie guys >like this dude is out there, this isn't going to be a normal movie
the girl and two of of buddys didn't care for it but me and my other friend were totally sucked in and loved it
I would never watch eggers at home, but going to see this and the lighthouse in the theater was a real treat
I've see all the standard quips and action sequences a dozen times before, they are so boring at this point.
I can enjoy a marvel movie, but when I see stuff like this its great because I've never seen anything like it before.
>having to pre-set up expectations for a film instead of trusting the director is capable of making a banger
the utter current state of pseuds
the film sucked, eggers sucks and you bud suck
I saw the middle act where the protag sports a bowl cut and mopes around for 70 minutes planning pranks
even the 'action' scenes were wack
and don't get me started on the overall writing
It flopped because people like me don’t bother with those overpriced Black person infested shitholes called theaters. I’ll see it when it comes out on streaming like all other movies I watch.
It was a very well researched film with excellent environments and aesthetic. I really respect historical flicks that understand that the ancients had a fundamentally different understanding of reality and values than we do.
>it's another I liked it because the filmmakers did homework post
maybe instead of research they should have spend there time writing an effective screenplay that didn't drag total ass
Not a single thing about it was deep.
It's as if people from the year 3000 made a movie about gangsta rappers and they researched accurate teeth platinum grill or something, it's pointless and worthless.
right andsince when is doing homework a valid component of whether a film is good or not
as if the effort involved behind the scenes makes it a good film
I'll never understand with bookworm homosexualry response
no dude you don't get it it's based off an obscure ancient tome that only 4 people have ever read and the director talks like a gay that means the film is good gawd why can't everyone be 2deep4me
The movie honestly just wasn't that good >Dumb shakespearen dialogue > Way too much unneeded character development > Run time was way too long/boring due to above issues
Not marketed as an IMAX movie in the major cities because Disney had to run Marvel's SpiderWars: Not Viewable At Home on every screen at every major theater on the eastern and western seaboard.
I sincerely hope this "tax disneyland" troony moral panic in florida metastasizes into a pogrom that ends with the public execution by guillotine of people like Kathlene Kennedy and all of the ~~*unnamed*~~ chairs, board members and executives responsible for Disney's longstanding monopolistic practices, which have deprived cinematic craftsman like Robert Eggers of meaningful access to the American filmgoing mass market for so, so long.*
*I hope, but do not encourage any of the aforementioned circumstances or scenarios. Everything posted on this site is for satirical purposes. Only a fool would take it seriously.
I honest would be willing to bet eggers makes this exact argument in his head and speaks to executives like this
he's literally just remaking short stories he read in advanced english lit
Eggers doesn't make crowd pleasing blockbusters. I liked it but the studio should have known it wouldn't make a ton at the box office. If the budget was $50M instead of $90M they would have been fine.
Are people really so ignorant of the content of the Norse Sagas or other Germanic works (the Eddas, Beowulf, the poems of the Exeter Book, etc.) that they have no framework through which to view this film?
Not trying to be a dick or belittle anyone. I'm an archaeologist with a particular interest in early medieval Western European grave goods (I've published on early Anglo-Saxon brooches and Danish gold bracteates). Because I'm very familiar with the subject matter,, and was super into Norse mythology from a young age, it's hard for me to imagine the layman's perspective. Is the idea of Amleth's perception of his fate dictating his actions really that frustrating?
but the imporatance of fate is emphasized by the opening voice-over, by willem dafoe's character, by the seeress played by bjork, and discussed by amleth and olga. i see a common complaint being "it was dumb that he couldn't use the sword whenever h wanted" or "it was dumb that he couldn't fight fjolnir until they were at the volcano" but as long as amleth believed he was predestined to wait, why is that so hard for modern audiences?
nah I'm just a normal midwestern office worker and even I've had exposure to a couple of the epics
it did a great job doing what it set out to do
no idea why this movie causes so many hateboners
The only gods Americans recognize are the Avengers pantheon and anything approved by the State. The CIA is the bipolar shadow of the American psyche, answering for its misgivings. Emerging out of necessity.
>answering for its misgivings.
the CIA doesn't "answer for America's misgivings". The American people do. The CIA does misdeeds with the consent of the American people, which it also manufactures.
I do not interact with network operatives, nice try glowie, enjoy your benefits now because you will writhe in hell for what you have done, I hate the anti-Christ
In Spirit, not the body. You are trapped in this realm, the Spirit is beyond male and female, beyond life and death. What shall a man profit if he is to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?
2 years ago
Anonymous
>posts flat earth
then you know there's nowhere you can hide, correct?
2 years ago
Anonymous
You are projecting, you know within that you cannot hide so you say that to me.
2 years ago
Anonymous
No need to hide when you offer obedient consent freely. Now, just like the other time. You remember.
>Too many white people?
Exactly, people don't like racist movies. It also didn't help that it was some kind of boring tragic drama, damn I was expecting a titanic adventure.
When they threw the story it was based on out of the window, they decided to go with a boring plot instead of something grand. No one cares about Hamlet killing a down on his luck farmer.
I liked it's style but the story really wasn't very compelling
Literally the plot of an average episode of Vikings or a spin off. Le evil uncle le murders le village, must get revenge
Spends waaaay too much time as a slave biding his time
Just nothing new or original or interesting with the story, super basic and slow
It sucks cause I was hoping this movie would be great, it's still ok, but just ok. Style is well done, just nothing of substance really there
I thought it was 9 minutes? And supposedly they will be in the israelite ray as deleted scenes. I hope we see some pre-Berserker scenes. The movie just cut from one scene to another with no connection, it was really jarring. >timeskip, main character is grown up and on a boat now >now he's dancing with berserkers and howling at the moon >now he's raiding a village
Like, where's the flow man? Where's the development? In my opinion, the movie would significantly improve if the first 30 minutes weren't so rushed.
I think those scenes were cut because they didn't add anything to the movie except more runtime. Does everything really need to be spelled out to the audience?
a lot of the scenes they left in didn't add anything either.
2 years ago
Anonymous
No, pretty much all of the scenes were important to the plot, except maybe some of the ritual scenes but these added a lot to the atmosphere and world building and were actually some of my favourite parts of the movie
2 years ago
Anonymous
No, pretty much all of the scenes were important to the plot, except maybe some of the ritual scenes but these added a lot to the atmosphere and world building and were actually some of my favourite parts of the movie
I enjoyed all the scenes of morons being moronic around fires. Handsome shots and goofy moods, 10/10
It's obvious what his character ended up becoming, that's not the issue. The issue is the pacing and lack of flow. It feels like individual scenes stitched together just for the sake of it. I also hate how jarring it was when it cut to the village raid. It's funny because the first 30 minutes felt like the movie doesn't have time to breathe, but the rest of the film is just fine and in fact moves even slower and has more time to breathe. So if the director was able to do that later on, why can't he do it early in the film as well?
The movie is a lot better if you know some of the mythology behind it. For instance, I was asked "why is that weird lady on the horse flying through the sky"?
My expectations were much higher because of the lighthouse and the vvitch, I thought it was entertaining on some level but the plot and character development were really shallow so at the end of the film I was like yeah ok cool, not a waste of time but I won’t be watching this movie again ever
I tried to watch it and it is kinda boring. First they shouldn't give that director this budget. His lighthouse was great. Maybe i should try to watch Northman again but it just didn't work for me.
i've seen a lot of people complain that the film wasn't "brutal" enough, which is odd because i recall:
>several decapitations >multipled disembowlings, with extended shots of exposed viscerae >multipled bloody throat slashings, including one that was self-inflicted >dudes being chopped up and nailed to a house in pieces >a guy getting his nose cut off >a guy getting a sword pushed through his face slowly >a guy getting stabbed like 30 times >women and children being killed cut down, and women and children being burned alive
What they mean by that is that they want over stylized over dramatic gore garbage that is completely unfitting along with some slow motion and vfx blood effects splashing everywhere on screen like their favorite action movie.
That one raid segment was great but everything else about the northman was a complete snoozefest.
I haven't paid for a movie since 2009, hollywood rabbi israelites seethe everytime i torrent their s o y s h i t starvenger wars and give it free to all my friends, life as a digital native sure is sweet
My last movie in the a theater was Avatar 3D. Entire theater memes have emerged, propagated, and faded into the archives and it all relates to as stale and distant a memory as sexual intercourse with a female.
I would consider myself a "film fan" aka a kinosseur and I rarely go to the cinema anymore. Last 6-7 years I saw: >Arrival >Blade Runner 2049 >Once Upon a Time in Hollywood >Joker >Druk >The Duel >Dune >Northman
Northman flopped, because most people who go to the cinema want to be entertained, not challenged or made to think. Nothing wrong with that, but most cinema-goers want their fan favorite characters have "witty" dialogue and win at the end. They definitely dont want a dark and brooding edda adaptation, where everyone gets brutally murdered by a morally questionable protagonist, only to chose death and Valhalla at the end over his loyal and cute wife and child. Films without happy endings are a thing of the past in the cinema.
>only to chose death and Valhalla at the end over his loyal and cute wife and child.
That's not what happened to. He went back to kill Fjolnr so his wife and child would be safe his vengeance (reminder he had already killed Fjolnr's eldest son by this point). He got to go to Valhalla as a bonus.
It's not the type of movie that would be enjoyable for normies. For example the homosexuals in this thread that call it "too dark and depressing". homosexuals. It's not especially action filled, it's pretty slow, it's dark and depressing, it's very confusing for many people, it's very focused on paganism and their rituals which would offend christians (biggest haters on /misc/ are christians), it really didn't have much that would appeal to your average movie goer. But I enjoyed it. Not extremely much but it wasn't bad.
Box office isn't everything. A studio needs prestige projects, and actors/directors can always use the cachet of a sleeper hit. Otherwise they'd have taken the budget and thrown it at capeshit.
Modern men know that if they watch this movie they will cry regretting that they fricked themselves in the ass for nothing. They were fooled by promises of liberalism. And now there is no way back.
I want you to stop complaining about blacks in movies, and about how Hollywood"forces" them. Here is an all white movie about white history, where the characters have a Nietzschean morality. Hitler himself would be proud of it, and it was complete flop. Whites didn't go to see it. They didn't even stream it.
White nationalism doesn't sell, if Hollywood puts blacks in movies is not because of their commitment to black empowerment, it is because it sells. There is no conspiracy
Too bad island is so sterile and bland. Didn't help since the story itself is plain too. Together is was too much.
Some cool fights, especially as a berserker and vs the draugr. I rather liked the hero, but the witch wasn't necessary at all. Didn't like the final fight though. Loved the limbs centaur he made to frick with his uncle.
7.5/10 No great but not terrible either. Wish they turned up the fantasy to 11 and had more vibrant scenery.
I don't understand the reason why half the film took place in that silly little village on the side of a hill. Why couldn't they make it in an actual village or a city or something grander? I understand the uncle lost to some norwegian king but that's lame. It felt like an excuse to lower the budget. The movie felt cheap.
Most people only go to movies that are pre-existing franchises they recognize. Movie making has become brand marketing.
this
nobody goes to movies anymore, they stream recommendations and go to the theaters to watch the franchises
ironically this capeshit actor puts it perfectly
>you are now making movies for 16 year olds and China
holy fricking based alert
he's refreshingly jaded
James Cameron will save theatrical cinema
It's this some kinda cope?
meanwhile Top Gun is breaking records left and right by simply being an awesome fricking movie without any horseshit
You must be a zoomer.
Fpbp.
Historical movies are now certified box office poison. This is most likely due to declining general historical knowledge. Once upon a time you could reliably set a movie in the Roman Empire, Biblical Israel, the Middle Ages, Viking era or whatever and you could rely on most people to have at least a passing familiarity with the time period and the characters before seeing the film. If not due to better schooling then at least due to things like literature or church. Nowadays your average person - including adults, not just children - is likely more familiar with the Marvel cinematic universe than they are with their own history. Who is interested in going to see a film they know nothing about and don't recognise anything from?
>Biblical Israel
Do you mean Roman Judea, or do you mean the Levante?
more like shit casting, I'd watch a movie about paint drying if it had some big-name actors
Cinema is practically dead today other than capeshit and franchise movies so it's no wonder it flopped. Might as well start making our own kino at this point.
it wasn't very good
Explain or admit you didn't see it.
>Explain or admit you didn't see it.
Not him, but:
The protag is a friendless monosyllabic ape.
Either he's delusional or a pawn of higher powers, either way I felt frustrated when he couldn't kill the usurper because he's not on the volcano yet.
There are long stretches where is accomplished, for example the protag becomes the slave overseer but he already had not no problem roaming around at night.
His lover was just there for romance and added nothing to the plot.
It seems the film was cut a lot, for example Bjork does nothing.
>protag becomes the slave overseer
Legitimizes his relationship with the witch.
>His lover was just there for romance and added nothing to the plot
He's there so he can sacrifice himself for her and have off-spring. She gives him some humanity and at the end he's opened up to a degree. Too little too late but still.
>It seems the film was cut a lot, for example Bjork does nothing
Sets him back on his path of vengeance.
>Sets him back on his path of vengeance.
No she didn't. She decreed a sacrifice to stop "the troll" (him)
what? she literally tells him to "remember for whom you shed your last teardrop," which is his father. he immediately resolves to leave the vikings and find Fjolnir
>His lover was just there for romance and added nothing to the plot
She was breaking mens' minds with her period juice
has nothing to do with white people
eggers really thought that this autist was a good idea for a lead. this charisma vacuum box office sperg.
get john cena or tatum as the lead, I bet the box office numbers would have been really fricking different.
I want him to be the lead in my film.
Whats your film about?
Why did he do it?
>eggers really thought that this autist was a good idea for a lead. this charisma vacuum box office sperg.
>Why did he do it?
Popular with female audience
>Popular with female audience
who all rated the film 4.2/10 collectively
bravo eggman
Yeah. Not saying it was a smart decision, but it's probably partly why it was done.
>Not saying it was a smart decision
the basically summarizes the entire film yes
>Popular with female audience
This has been proven false half a dozen times. Tarzan, Disconnect, True Blood, Free Your Mind, Mute, etc. He shows up shirtless is nearly every movie and show that he's in, and yet never attracts females or gays to watch. His body is a novelty people post pictures of online, but don't bother paying for.
>His body is a novelty people post pictures of online,
Well, yeah. I said he was popular, not that his acting or movies were.
>get john cena
gay
>john cena or tatum
eggers is a hack
>hating on based iceman
extremely reddit moment
I like his acting et cetera...
But sorry! Looking at this picture I think about CAPTAIN_SWEDEN.jpg
it was terrible
It's a very uncomfortable movie. Good movie but tonally very grim and full of violence. Also, all the pagan rituals are probably too much for normies.
The dialogue was confusing
>White people acting like subhuman Black folk
>/misc/ loves it
This movie was straight garbage through and through. A revenge tale with whites acting like deviants and savages was a stupid fricking premise.
>whites acting like deviants and savages
That's pagans for you.
>Attack a settlement
>Sell adults to slavery
>Murder the children by trapping them in a hut and setting it on fire
Everything about this movie was shit. There weren't any good people and everyone was a piece of shit.
>There weren't any good people and everyone was a piece of shit.
exactly. i need to know who to root for or i can't enjoy a piece of entertainment
Pretty much. Otherwise you get a dogshit film with bad people doing bad things and the audience not giving a shit what happens.
You are mentally challenged
Most of them had some redeemable qualities. Amleth was relatively merciful, Fjolnir was a decent father and even Kidman's character seemed to have been a decent wife and mother to Fjolnir and her younger son. The witch wasn't entirely unkind either as you could see in both her scene in the Slavic village and on the boat after the raid.
you should go back to capeshit
welcome to the entire history of humanity until 200 years ago in the west only and soon to be that way again
You mean the same West that after WW2 decided to start wars to subjugate rebellious colonies? Like the Dutch in Indonesia, where they killed thousands with literal death squads and hundreds of thousands dead civilians? Or do you mean the British in India and Kenya, where they LITERALLY killed 100,000 Mau-Mau civilians in "work camps". Or do you mean the French in Indochina, where they waged a near total war, which set in motion the Vietnam war and basically ended with the deaths of over 5-10 million South East Asians? Or do you mean the Americans, who waged genocide against the native Americans up until 50 years ago, with forced sterilization of native women?
Read a fricking book.
Whites are literally the ones who implemented concepts such as 'no slavery' and 'equality' due to their Christian culture. If any other culture was ascendant instead you wouldn't be sitting in a nice western house on a nice western computer talking on the nice western internet, you would be a slave in a field and billions would have died instead of millions.
>Psst
>Hey kid
>If it wasn't for the Japanese Empire
>The SEA Colonies wouldn't have gained independence
>Pass it on
>LITERALLY
Seriously go back to r*ddit. You are letting down this side of the debate.
lmao reddit tard totally missing the point as usual, the only reason your listed atrocities can even be considered atrocities is because the west is exceptionally peaceful and polite. If you had no peaceful, even-handed civilization to live in, you would refer to those genocides and atrocities as "war".
Lmao, Europe only had a 70 year respite without trying to destroy itself. And now there is war raging there, yet again.
Whites are the most violent race
Slavs are not white
You mean like in the Library of Alexandria?
>he still believes in muh biggest library that was burnt down
Never happened
>Everything bad we did didn't happen because...it just didn't
I wonder what small hat tribe also claims this
>nooo the burning of the Library of Alexandria totally happened because.. I just know it okay?
>also LE JOOS
have meds
>Destroy what was left
>Oh no it just so happens to not have anything inside what a coincidence oh well
>Destroy other religions in Europe and do the same to them
>But we'd never do it because we just wouldn't
>Le joos while worshipping an actual Hebrew
Here's your order Mr
The story was basically Hamlet. Also, is it really surprising vikings were violent people?
>The story was basically Hamlet.
Stop repeating nonsense. It's not true.
It was a remake of the Lion King except Simba dies fighting Scar
It's actually the ancient Nord story Hamlet was based on.
>This movie was straight garbage through and through. A revenge tale with whites acting like deviants and savages was a stupid fricking premise.
You are part of the problem. A brainlet population that doesn't have the capacity to objectively appreciate historicity.
these tismos that cant escape slave morality and yet somehow still gravitate around white nationalism are the absolute worst. Your conception of good is pure goy
your concept of good was made by syphilitic weak cuck.
where did I say I adhere to master morality? dichotomous fool
just become a dog bro
embrace animality
this
It flopped because it was mid and people didn’t want to go watch boring Viking shit.
because it's frickin dumb
I liked it.
I liked it too. I thought it was really well done.
Is there a name for this kind of genre? Epics?
Not entirely sure but Conan and Excalibur are quite similar.
Sword & Sorcery
>flop
it had a soft opening weekend, but made between $70 and $80 million at the box office globally, plus it was #1 in VOD on itunes for a couple of weeks. add in bluray sales and it brobably just about broke even if the $90 million post-reshoot final budget tally is accurate
i didn't like it very much (i don't like eggers or a24 in general, but i got dragged to it) and it was probably dumb to give a niche period piece such a big budget, but it wasn't exactly a disastrous loss for the studio imo
The theatre culture is just different now. People only see a movie in the theatres if it is part of a big franchise blockbuster.
Everything else is relegated to streaming now.
It flopped not because it was terrible or anything, but just because the entertainment culture doesn't allow it to make money.
It's a fantasy film pretending it's not a fantasy film. Also, it not comfy or cozy at all. Also, it's too weird like with the father and son going into a cave to yiff and fart.
>Also, it not comfy or cozy at all
exactly. i need movies to make me feel safe or i can't enjoy them.
You jest, but I don't wanna rewatch "epic" "heroic" films that make me feel like shit.
don't call me shirley. im agreeing with you
my bad, coze bro
For what it was trying to do it felt oddly feeble.
>king comes back and everyone talks epic shit but the "village" he is ruling is like 5-6 huts
>raid on slavic village again feels small and cheap
>big revenge plot is infiltrating a farm and working there for n+1 days in squalor
His previous movies were very minimalistic and it worked for the stories they were trying to tell. But this felt like it needed a grander scope and stage.
The second part in particular is tedious since the story and the main character's drive loses all momentum.
>king comes back and everyone talks epic shit but the "village" he is ruling is like 5-6 huts
you don't remember the guy telling amleth that harald fairhair ran fjolnir out of the orkneys and he was forced to become a shit-caked farmer in backwater iceland?
I'm talking about the inital scene of Ethan "coming back" and ruling over a shithole village.
how big do you think kingdoms were in the 9th century? after the western roman empire fell there were dozens and dozens of kings in western europe. the word king comes from the proto-germanic "kuningaz" which means kin-protector. anybody who was in charge of the defense of their extended family was a king.
to be fair some of the deleted scenes make the extent of the town and the size of the mead hall more obvious, and the scope is a little lacking without them
This is a good point. I liked the movie, but it feels like it's missing something. I think you might have nailed at least part of it down.
it's probably a good thing in the long run. shouldn't have spend so much money. bet he could do it with a tenth of the budget if he had been given only that, and the movie would have been a major hit instead of a major flop.
Top Gun 2 is the #1 movie in the world right now and is nearly entirely White people.
>not a pre-existing franchise
>too morally and thematically ambiguous and complex for mass audiences
>audiences demand a huge budget from this genre (historical "epic")
I thought it was pretty good but it was definitely too high budget, probably should have been filmed in some eastern euro place for cheap and not during covid and shouldn't have been released just after covid either.
I think in 10 years it will become a cult classic.
NOONE BEYOND THE ONLINE, NEOPAGANISTIC, ETHNOTRIBAL, SOCIAL CLUBS THAT POLLUTE THE WORLD WIDE WEB ACTUALLY THINKS THAT MEDIEVAL, NORDIC, MARITIME BARBARIANS WERE «C 0o L».
True but I think this movie was cool for dunking on them this hard.
Swords wouldn't have fullers that narrow until several hundred years later
this was cringe as frick
it's boring anon, not race related. It was sold as an down to earth noth movie but it's full of hallucionations from this autistic protagonist
>Artsy slow film directed by Eggers
>In capeshit spew meta
Wonder why
Too generic, no charisma or fun. Just looked dark and bloody and depressing. Coming off all the bullshit the country has just been through, not the best time for Eggers period gloom aesthetic.
It was lame. Watch Conan the barbarian. It's better.
these
conan was someone you could root for/identify with
northbro literally just moped around for 2 hours
I agree, but that's an apples to oranges comparison. It's like comparing the first Star Trek movie to Star Wars.
too niche, I liked it but I wouldn't take or recommend too many people to go see it
I went to see it with 3 buddies and one of their girls and was the only one who had seen an eggers movie, the lighthouse, and knew and told them before even seeing it
>this is going to be a weird movie guys
>like this dude is out there, this isn't going to be a normal movie
the girl and two of of buddys didn't care for it but me and my other friend were totally sucked in and loved it
I would never watch eggers at home, but going to see this and the lighthouse in the theater was a real treat
I've see all the standard quips and action sequences a dozen times before, they are so boring at this point.
I can enjoy a marvel movie, but when I see stuff like this its great because I've never seen anything like it before.
>having to pre-set up expectations for a film instead of trusting the director is capable of making a banger
the utter current state of pseuds
the film sucked, eggers sucks and you bud suck
it was a total fricking banger, did you not see it?
I saw the middle act where the protag sports a bowl cut and mopes around for 70 minutes planning pranks
even the 'action' scenes were wack
and don't get me started on the overall writing
you didn't see it
total midwit
>it's another they're playing some medieval ball sport game instead of something not moronic and gay
>why didnt I go see generic revenge man, viking edition
It flopped because people like me don’t bother with those overpriced Black person infested shitholes called theaters. I’ll see it when it comes out on streaming like all other movies I watch.
I have watched it.
An anti-hero movie about a psychopath.
The people in the background lived like Black folk.
There's nothing of value to get from it.
People want to see spics, nigs and asiatics on screen, not boring ass cumskins
It was a very well researched film with excellent environments and aesthetic. I really respect historical flicks that understand that the ancients had a fundamentally different understanding of reality and values than we do.
>it's another I liked it because the filmmakers did homework post
maybe instead of research they should have spend there time writing an effective screenplay that didn't drag total ass
Not a single thing about it was deep.
It's as if people from the year 3000 made a movie about gangsta rappers and they researched accurate teeth platinum grill or something, it's pointless and worthless.
right andsince when is doing homework a valid component of whether a film is good or not
as if the effort involved behind the scenes makes it a good film
I'll never understand with bookworm homosexualry response
exactly, doing the homework and being accurate should be the basic stuff you do before you even begin to shot the movie, obligatory even
no dude you don't get it it's based off an obscure ancient tome that only 4 people have ever read and the director talks like a gay that means the film is good gawd why can't everyone be 2deep4me
The movie honestly just wasn't that good
>Dumb shakespearen dialogue
> Way too much unneeded character development
> Run time was way too long/boring due to above issues
Well the movie seems to literally follow hamlet and the lion king plots/words with a Viking overlay on top of it.
cool does that make it suck less?
It kind of sucks. Won't get the time spent on it back.
based
By being a piece of shit
Bad writing, bad visuals, bad fight choreography, bad actors
Because I can just play Valhiem. I don't need the movie version.
it was boring and bad
Not marketed as an IMAX movie in the major cities because Disney had to run Marvel's SpiderWars: Not Viewable At Home on every screen at every major theater on the eastern and western seaboard.
I sincerely hope this "tax disneyland" troony moral panic in florida metastasizes into a pogrom that ends with the public execution by guillotine of people like Kathlene Kennedy and all of the ~~*unnamed*~~ chairs, board members and executives responsible for Disney's longstanding monopolistic practices, which have deprived cinematic craftsman like Robert Eggers of meaningful access to the American filmgoing mass market for so, so long.*
*I hope, but do not encourage any of the aforementioned circumstances or scenarios. Everything posted on this site is for satirical purposes. Only a fool would take it seriously.
I honest would be willing to bet eggers makes this exact argument in his head and speaks to executives like this
he's literally just remaking short stories he read in advanced english lit
Why would I go see a movie?
I personally think it's got no hook
Eggers doesn't make crowd pleasing blockbusters. I liked it but the studio should have known it wouldn't make a ton at the box office. If the budget was $50M instead of $90M they would have been fine.
>If the budget was $50M instead of $90M they would have been fine.
it didn't look a penny over 10
Haven't watched it because it just doesn't look interesting and I hate anya taylor joy
Are people really so ignorant of the content of the Norse Sagas or other Germanic works (the Eddas, Beowulf, the poems of the Exeter Book, etc.) that they have no framework through which to view this film?
Not trying to be a dick or belittle anyone. I'm an archaeologist with a particular interest in early medieval Western European grave goods (I've published on early Anglo-Saxon brooches and Danish gold bracteates). Because I'm very familiar with the subject matter,, and was super into Norse mythology from a young age, it's hard for me to imagine the layman's perspective. Is the idea of Amleth's perception of his fate dictating his actions really that frustrating?
good films don't require you have your PhD in their lore you total fricking literal textbook midwit
but the imporatance of fate is emphasized by the opening voice-over, by willem dafoe's character, by the seeress played by bjork, and discussed by amleth and olga. i see a common complaint being "it was dumb that he couldn't use the sword whenever h wanted" or "it was dumb that he couldn't fight fjolnir until they were at the volcano" but as long as amleth believed he was predestined to wait, why is that so hard for modern audiences?
nah I'm just a normal midwestern office worker and even I've had exposure to a couple of the epics
it did a great job doing what it set out to do
no idea why this movie causes so many hateboners
>I'm an archaeologist
I have a large bone that needs to be examined
Huh huh huhuhuh, you said bone huh huh
that was cool [spoiler/]
The only gods Americans recognize are the Avengers pantheon and anything approved by the State. The CIA is the bipolar shadow of the American psyche, answering for its misgivings. Emerging out of necessity.
>answering for its misgivings.
the CIA doesn't "answer for America's misgivings". The American people do. The CIA does misdeeds with the consent of the American people, which it also manufactures.
I do not interact with network operatives, nice try glowie, enjoy your benefits now because you will writhe in hell for what you have done, I hate the anti-Christ
>I do not interact with network operatives
Too late.
In Spirit, not the body. You are trapped in this realm, the Spirit is beyond male and female, beyond life and death. What shall a man profit if he is to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?
>posts flat earth
then you know there's nowhere you can hide, correct?
You are projecting, you know within that you cannot hide so you say that to me.
No need to hide when you offer obedient consent freely. Now, just like the other time. You remember.
Deny Deny Deny
because white people are going extinct and it's their own damn fault
It flopped because Americans are fricking braindead. If you're American you are a pig person.
Americans made the movie. What have euros made in recent years?
it wasn't even a smart or well told story bro wtf
>Too many white people?
Exactly, people don't like racist movies. It also didn't help that it was some kind of boring tragic drama, damn I was expecting a titanic adventure.
I could care less about the Thor-tier combat and such, how much cool pagan/Heilung shit is there?
When they threw the story it was based on out of the window, they decided to go with a boring plot instead of something grand. No one cares about Hamlet killing a down on his luck farmer.
The draugr fight was cool though
>game of thrones type plot twist but with vikings
gee i wonder why
COVID
Because viking is shit
Yet I'm sure you and the nu-libs think Shaka Zulu was amazing.
The real clue and reason is hidden in this picture.
Because white culture is dead.
No one cares about anti Christian films, anon.
I liked it's style but the story really wasn't very compelling
Literally the plot of an average episode of Vikings or a spin off. Le evil uncle le murders le village, must get revenge
Spends waaaay too much time as a slave biding his time
Just nothing new or original or interesting with the story, super basic and slow
It sucks cause I was hoping this movie would be great, it's still ok, but just ok. Style is well done, just nothing of substance really there
I wasn't expecting the murder scene to happen so early in the film. They barely developed the uncle character.
>I wasn't expecting the murder scene to happen so early in the film. They barely developed the uncle character.
the studio made them trim 30 minutes from the pre-viking phase of amleth's life
I thought it was 9 minutes? And supposedly they will be in the israelite ray as deleted scenes. I hope we see some pre-Berserker scenes. The movie just cut from one scene to another with no connection, it was really jarring.
>timeskip, main character is grown up and on a boat now
>now he's dancing with berserkers and howling at the moon
>now he's raiding a village
Like, where's the flow man? Where's the development? In my opinion, the movie would significantly improve if the first 30 minutes weren't so rushed.
I think those scenes were cut because they didn't add anything to the movie except more runtime. Does everything really need to be spelled out to the audience?
a lot of the scenes they left in didn't add anything either.
No, pretty much all of the scenes were important to the plot, except maybe some of the ritual scenes but these added a lot to the atmosphere and world building and were actually some of my favourite parts of the movie
I enjoyed all the scenes of morons being moronic around fires. Handsome shots and goofy moods, 10/10
It's obvious what his character ended up becoming, that's not the issue. The issue is the pacing and lack of flow. It feels like individual scenes stitched together just for the sake of it. I also hate how jarring it was when it cut to the village raid. It's funny because the first 30 minutes felt like the movie doesn't have time to breathe, but the rest of the film is just fine and in fact moves even slower and has more time to breathe. So if the director was able to do that later on, why can't he do it early in the film as well?
Viking shit is boring by now honestly.
The movie is a lot better if you know some of the mythology behind it. For instance, I was asked "why is that weird lady on the horse flying through the sky"?
My expectations were much higher because of the lighthouse and the vvitch, I thought it was entertaining on some level but the plot and character development were really shallow so at the end of the film I was like yeah ok cool, not a waste of time but I won’t be watching this movie again ever
because green knight came out first and did it better
Some friends suggested this movie and I let them fricking have it for recommending it, it fricking sucked so bad
lol, don't admit on here that you got filtered hard. You're the moron of your "group"
If you think green knight is a filter i’m lmaoing at your life
it would fail if the cast was all black too.
it's too weird for normal people
It was just Hamlet in a viking settting and Shakespeare is the most overrated banal shit boring writer there is.
I tried to watch it and it is kinda boring. First they shouldn't give that director this budget. His lighthouse was great. Maybe i should try to watch Northman again but it just didn't work for me.
I wish there was more berserker footage
>I wish there was more berserker footage
i've seen a lot of people complain that the film wasn't "brutal" enough, which is odd because i recall:
>several decapitations
>multipled disembowlings, with extended shots of exposed viscerae
>multipled bloody throat slashings, including one that was self-inflicted
>dudes being chopped up and nailed to a house in pieces
>a guy getting his nose cut off
>a guy getting a sword pushed through his face slowly
>a guy getting stabbed like 30 times
>women and children being killed cut down, and women and children being burned alive
and plenty more
What they actually mean is that they wanted hyper stylised actions scenes like The King's Men
What they mean by that is that they want over stylized over dramatic gore garbage that is completely unfitting along with some slow motion and vfx blood effects splashing everywhere on screen like their favorite action movie.
That one raid segment was great but everything else about the northman was a complete snoozefest.
2 normie for hipsters, 2 weird for normies
I think that's the best way to put it.
people just don't give a shit about "historical epics" in current year. the last time one of those worked was 300 in 2006.
I haven't paid for a movie since 2009, hollywood rabbi israelites seethe everytime i torrent their s o y s h i t starvenger wars and give it free to all my friends, life as a digital native sure is sweet
My last movie in the a theater was Avatar 3D. Entire theater memes have emerged, propagated, and faded into the archives and it all relates to as stale and distant a memory as sexual intercourse with a female.
Ah yes, 3D, Avatar, I remember the hype. I might take the kiddos to go see Avatar 2, hopefully its not pozzed with lib/NWO shit
> we are making movie for whites!
> why you don't want to watch our movies~~*
The marketing wasn't there, and all most people heard about the movie was "it's racist there are no blacks in it they hate black people".
A mixture between Covid and viewer habits
I would consider myself a "film fan" aka a kinosseur and I rarely go to the cinema anymore. Last 6-7 years I saw:
>Arrival
>Blade Runner 2049
>Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
>Joker
>Druk
>The Duel
>Dune
>Northman
Northman flopped, because most people who go to the cinema want to be entertained, not challenged or made to think. Nothing wrong with that, but most cinema-goers want their fan favorite characters have "witty" dialogue and win at the end. They definitely dont want a dark and brooding edda adaptation, where everyone gets brutally murdered by a morally questionable protagonist, only to chose death and Valhalla at the end over his loyal and cute wife and child. Films without happy endings are a thing of the past in the cinema.
>Northman flopped because it was absolute shit
simple as
>only to chose death and Valhalla at the end over his loyal and cute wife and child.
That's not what happened to. He went back to kill Fjolnr so his wife and child would be safe his vengeance (reminder he had already killed Fjolnr's eldest son by this point). He got to go to Valhalla as a bonus.
Too artistic.
It's not the type of movie that would be enjoyable for normies. For example the homosexuals in this thread that call it "too dark and depressing". homosexuals. It's not especially action filled, it's pretty slow, it's dark and depressing, it's very confusing for many people, it's very focused on paganism and their rituals which would offend christians (biggest haters on /misc/ are christians), it really didn't have much that would appeal to your average movie goer. But I enjoyed it. Not extremely much but it wasn't bad.
>fart
>burp
>silly witchcraft
>latina with a flat ass
>pointless conclusion
i wonder
>latina
Why do you people keep saying that she is latina when she is obviously not?
The only ''Norse vibe'' picture the public are interested in is Marvel's Thor.
Maybe many understand that white culture is dead and a reminder of the culture is painful for them. Maybe they just want to forget...
You know what they never say? "Too-few black people."
Mostly because of women. While most of the men I’ve talked to who’ve seen this movie liked it I’ve yet to see a single woman who did.
Box office isn't everything. A studio needs prestige projects, and actors/directors can always use the cachet of a sleeper hit. Otherwise they'd have taken the budget and thrown it at capeshit.
>prestige projects
these tend to get good test screenings with the right audience, which didn't happen with Northman.
Modern men know that if they watch this movie they will cry regretting that they fricked themselves in the ass for nothing. They were fooled by promises of liberalism. And now there is no way back.
Liberalism seduced them like the devil.
I'm Slavic and I hate Nordic shit, I have zero interest in that shit.
Makes sense, Russia took its name from the Nordic peoples who conquered the slavs in that area
They raped your ancestors and lorded over them.
I want you to stop complaining about blacks in movies, and about how Hollywood"forces" them. Here is an all white movie about white history, where the characters have a Nietzschean morality. Hitler himself would be proud of it, and it was complete flop. Whites didn't go to see it. They didn't even stream it.
White nationalism doesn't sell, if Hollywood puts blacks in movies is not because of their commitment to black empowerment, it is because it sells. There is no conspiracy
Too bad island is so sterile and bland. Didn't help since the story itself is plain too. Together is was too much.
Some cool fights, especially as a berserker and vs the draugr. I rather liked the hero, but the witch wasn't necessary at all. Didn't like the final fight though. Loved the limbs centaur he made to frick with his uncle.
7.5/10 No great but not terrible either. Wish they turned up the fantasy to 11 and had more vibrant scenery.
Yes.
I wish I was ripped 2bh
I don't understand the reason why half the film took place in that silly little village on the side of a hill. Why couldn't they make it in an actual village or a city or something grander? I understand the uncle lost to some norwegian king but that's lame. It felt like an excuse to lower the budget. The movie felt cheap.