Why did they even have Slytherin house if it was full of evil people and no one liked them?
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Why did they even have Slytherin house if it was full of evil people and no one liked them?
For the same reason that conservatives are allowed to exist.
Fpbp
dilate
Because you're too chickenshit to do anything?
Controlled opposition
OH SAY CAN YOU SNEED
Because you're a weak homosexual and cannot do anything about it? Imagine being such a weak ass pussy asshat that you actually brag about how fricking weak and undisciplined you are as if it was some sort of achievement.
holy shit
>444
>13/56
it's better to put all the future traitors and murderers in one place so you can keep an eye on them
Except when you don't and they suddenly control everything.
Containment.
Why bother having a smart guy house if the “smartest” student is in Gryffindor solely to get spitroasted by her friends
Same reason they had Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. So they can isolate the schlubby nobodies and """smart kids""" who never do or achieve anything of note, leaving all the cool protagonist kids to get filtered into Gryffindor.
>it was full of evil people
That's not true though. H. Slughorn for example was a Slytherin.
They certainly had MORE evil people than other houses, but that's due to a Slytherin's main character attribute, namely ambition. Jolly-do-gooders don't make it to the top.
Also, not every death eater was a Slytherin, Voldemort recruited his followers from all four houses.
So basically they have a higher percentage of evil people than other houses. Does that mean every non-evil Slytherin should be expelled too? Oh wait, I forgot where I am. Of course it does.
Now the reason why there's almost no good Slytherins in the books is because it's a childrens book and those need to be easy to understand and characters must not be too complex. Also because Rowling is a lazy hack, I guess.
This reads like Rowling herself seething
>rowling calling herself a lazy hack
uh-huh
Merlin was a slytherin too, apparently
To be fair, Merlin also went to Hogwarts despite it only being founded long after the Arthur myth So, he probably just went there to get a piece of paper.
>25% of the student body
>70% of death eaters
They just need more money for those programs right?
It is a shame that they don't just turn Slytherin into a gas chamber.
More like more money for those pogroms.
If they weren't all evil why did they all get locked in the dungeon in the last book dumbass? All of them got locked away
>why did they all get locked in the dungeon in the last book
Because Dumbledore's last will and testament had to be respected
slughorn is one of the only characters that shows there's nuance to slytherin besides being the house that all the evil people come from, and he's not introduced until the second to last book
like at the very least his main vices were his interests in getting the promising students/ the ones who come from families with high reputations so he could get favours and gifts
and also unknowingly causing one of the biggest wizarding world problems
>Does that mean every non-evil Slytherin should be expelled too? Oh wait, I forgot where I am. Of course it does.
SENDUM HOME
anuva bang on allegory by missis J . KKK raowling
*ahem*
DESPITE MAKING UP ONLY 25% OF THE ALUMNI...
its the no vaxx house for the purebloods
You ever hear about the so called state of Israel, anon?
Why do we have /misc/ if its full of evil people and no one likes them? Containment board. Containment house.
The only half decent main character in the books, Snape, was a Slytherin. And conversely you have psychopath Dumbledore, jock butthole James and serial backstabber Peter from Gryffindor
The Hogwarts houses are a representation of Bong politics. Gryffindor are Labour, Slytherin are Tories, Ravenclaw are Lib Dems, Hufflepuff are Greens.
>the smart house represents neoliberals
Yeah, no.
booksmart, moron
Shut up, dumb American. The analogue to your Democrats are Labour. The Lib Dems are some other weird formless shit altogether. They're not even libertarian, they're just nothing. A protest vote.
>The analogue to your Democrats are Labour
Only if your understanding of politics is limited to ‘one red one blue’. US Democrates are about as right wing as British Tories, they just use softer language. The US doesn’t have parallel parties to UK, they have two corporate parties with no real ideology beyond culture war and identity politics shit.
holy shit
Frankly, the whole house system is fricking stupid. I get that real British boarding schools have them, but kids there are distributed completely at random the same way you'd split kids into A, B, and C classes, they aren't segregated by personality type.
not entirely true. At exclsusive boarding schools like eton or westminster, your house likely reflects your social standing albeit everyone is at a high level. for example, it was a general rule that those of a higher standing could be more casual than those of a lesser background eg a commoner would wear an eton collar vs a standard collar worn by a duke. oxbridge is generally segregated too. someone who goes to king's college is seen as better than lets say homerton college etc. its mainly as a result of "my father went to this college or house so i will do" and it is only exacerbated due to Cambridge and this places having 800 years of history.
t. normal c**t that went to a posh uni and school
Because it was written for children and you need to have themes about evil vs good be extremely obvious and easy to understand for their intended audience. read books and watch movies meant for your age group gaylords
containment board
I always find it weird that he looks directly at the camera and winks at the viewer, what is the message he is trying to convey?
>yfw you realize Harry imagined the whole thing. This is why all the teachers have stupid names, and Harry never left his room under the stairs. Magic isn’t real.
i remeber seeing a video of some homeless guy complaining about the house system in hp. said its ridiculous kids are taken at (12?) and then sorted into four houses which signify their defining traits. the point was its silly to say people can only be brave, evil, smart or losers
Because Slytherin girls are superior and no one wanted to risk losing them to durmstrang.
Because Rowling wrote a children's book and then had to follow through with her audience rapidly outgrowing her intellectually.
>potter fans are smarter than jkr
fricking kek ok
Because Wizard society bad but Rowling's politics means it can't change.
They wanted to bully the Slytherins which is why their "house" is a damp basement.
A children's book series about whimsical wizards with names like Floopity Scrimblewinkles has something SILLY in it? Well that's worth discussing I'm sure.
>Why did they even have the Cinemaphile board if it was full of evil people and shitposts and no one liked them?
Because Harry Potter is a book series made for children
House based on power and ambition gets compromised by literal evil sect who cancel anyone who doesn't agree with their atrocities and has wrong think. Peak metaphor for Liberalism.
Um, when did Slytherin ever cancel anyone? Pretty sure they just straight-up murder them.
Same difference.
If we listed Harry Potter plotholes we'd be here all day.
probably more holes than emmental
Absolute filth
Does the parrot arouse him or what's going on here?
tfw polly lookin like she wants a cracker
In CoS, Hagrid is imprisoned without trial and or sentence — they could have locked him away forever if they wanted. Fudge even admits that he knows Hagrid is innocent, but they arrest him anyway just to make it seem like they're achieving something.
>blatant injustice, violation of human rights, misuse to power
In GoF, Arthur Weasley intervenes on Moody's behalf, to get him out of being prosecuted for his "enchanted dustbins."
>nepotism, corruption
Throughout the books, Luscious Malfoy donates money to receive favors from the Ministry. A good example is in GoF, when he used bribes to get tickets for him and his family next to the Minister of Magic a the Quidditch world cup. Also in OotP, when he's cozying up to the Minister before Harry's trial
>corruption, cronyism
The Government controls that media, and uses it to manipulate the public and push false narratives. See all the anti-Harry slander published in the Daily Prophet during OotP, and how the media didn't even report Cedric's death.
>misuse of power, massive misinformation campaign
The Ministry can write any laws it wants and enforce them without public oversight, like Umbridge did in OotP with her Educational Decrees.
>unhindered government power
The Ministry supports institutionalized discrimination against "half breeds" and magical creatures. Umbridge pushed through so much discriminatory legislation that Lupin couldn't get a job.
>unethical civil violations
There's also the fact that the Ministry employs literal soul sucking demons. Seriously, how could they possibly be the good guys when these are their minions?
The Ministry also orders the Demontors to eat the souls of people who haven't even been been charged with a crime, like Sirius Black, who was never actually sentenced in a court of law.
And this is ignoring the shit they do to muggles on a regular basis. Obliviate should be an unforgivable curse. Fricking wizard scum.
Harry Potter is way more red pilled and libertarian than we realized when we read it as kids.
Umbridge is the scariest villain in the books, not Voldemort, because so many people like her exist in real life and hold institutional power.
>we
Apologies for assuming you're literate and smart enough to read books. I'll try to be more inclusive in the future.
>Harry Potter
>books
Getting more moronic with each post
also the fact that Caramel and the PM know eachother however the former never told shit that was happening like voldy's return until he resigned
>TIL that Cornelius Fudge was called Cornelius Caramel in some translations of the books
In the italian one for example
They were unironically in the right to discriminate against the magical creatures though
>Centaurs - violent rapists living in the woods near a school
>Mermaids - cannibalistic kidnappers also living near a school
>Trolls & Giants - violent morons
>Hagrid - irresponsible moron who constantly does illegal shit and endangers children's lives, only protected by Dumbledore's nepotism
>Goblins - corrupt, fickle in their allegiance except to other goblins, morally and philosophically incompatible with humans
The only one you'd have an argument for is the elves, and the only one of those who gets freedom frames and maims Harry.
it doesn't help that helps that they are masochistic wagies without any income
>SILENCE! Now, since there is a troll in the dungeon I want the prefects to lead their houses to their respective dormitory. Yes, I'm fully aware that Slytherin's dormitory is in the dungeons where the troll is and that all Slytherin's will most likely die. ONE THOUSAND MILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR
I’m starting to suspect there’s a reason Slytherins all become evil
Between Hermione and Luna, who had the smellier pussy?
Luna, obviously.
Luna pickles plums in her pussy.
If you'd read the books you'd know the answer is Luna. Hermione would have kept a full bush (talking later books, obvs) but kept it immaculately groomed and maintained, and followed every rule of hygiene in keeping her virgin vegana fresh as a daisy at all times.
Luna probably shaved it entirely (later books, obvs) but would have been very lax with bathing, not using soap because it interferes with the body's natural oils, etc.
Interesting question. Hermione is basically a STEM girl, Luna is a wicca hippie. Luna was definitely hairier, that usually means stinkier, but I could see Hermione skipping a few showers.
I know Dumbledore wasn't around but seriously McGonagall wasn't alarmed enough by Harry and the others telling her about the philosophers stone to even have a quick look with the other teachers if everything was alright? On a side note why didn't Snape tell Dumbledore about Quirell?
Same for Chamber of Secrets. Was Dumbledore conveniently away again? Can't remember. How about telling McGonagall again?
In Goblet of Fire was the easiest and least suspicious way to get Harry to touch a port key REALLY to have him enter a magical tournament he wasn't qualified for and give him hints along the way on the hope he'd be the first ti touch the cup? How about Crouch, as Mad-Eye, tells Harry he needs to show him something and he should meet him in Hogsmeade and have him touch any random object there in a back alley?
>In Goblet of Fire
That was the moment the series went full moron.
Why were the girls allowed in the boys dorm with no repercussions?
Orgies
A conclusion of contract done by someone else in your name without right of representation is null and void. Harry wasn't legally obliged to compete in the tournament.
He does in wizard law.
Seems like a bad law tbh. The three headmasters with their combined magical prowess should have been able to reverse trick the goblet, then.
You'd think so, but here's the thing.
Wizards are moronic. Generations of being able to solve problems with magic has left them collectively devoid of all logic, reason and common sense.
No it doesn't. There is no consideration. It's basic contract law.
Why did Harry need to be in the tournament anyway? Would the cup kill him if he said no?
I suppose. The question is how hard he was forced to try, though. Fleur gave up in the lake and was fine. Does the goblet sense if you are honestly not able to continue or if you are just winging it? It sure is pretty attentive. Except when it comes to juveniles entering the tournament for a nonexistent school against their will I suppose.
Slytherin are the Dicks. All the other houses are Pussies. Voldemort and his crew are the buttholes.
What would exactly happen if you could inject potions? Take wolfsbane for example. Would that hypothetically work?
Bane?
yeah that stuff like that. Would it be extremely painful?
You're a big wizard
for you
>Dear first graders, your punishment for being up late at night is not only an obscene amount of points being deducted from your houses but also being forced to enter the Forbidden Forest at night in the company of a cowardly dog and a half moronic half giant who legally isn't even allowed to use magic to investigate which horrible abomination dwelling there - besides the werewolves, giant spiders, hostile centaurs and whatnot - has been murdering unicorns lately.
This was actually pretty cool back then, the tone was pretty wild and grim in a fun way (unlike the try hard "adult" later books) at times.
>Why did they even have Slytherin house if it was full of evil people and no one liked them?
why do we have schools of finance?
why do we have drama clubs in high schools?
>POTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER YOU RACE TRAITOR FRICK GOBLIN ARSE c**t SMASHING SON OF A SNAPE-FRICKING WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE, DID YOU CONVINCE THE HUFFLEPUFF TRANSGENDER STUDENTS THAT THE SECTUMSEMPRA SPELL WAS AN INSTANT GENITALIA TRANSITION SPELL?
>YOU HAVE KILLED 41% OF OUR BRAVE TRANSFOLK BECAUSE OF THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU'VE PULLED. THE MINISTRY HAS A TRANSATLANTIC SEMEN PIPELINE LODGED RIGHT UP MY ARSEHOLE THAT'S PUMPING THE SEMEN OF MR. FILCH'S CAT RIGHT UP INTO MY FRICKING GALLBLADDER!
>NORMALLY, I'D AWARD YOU SIX MILLION POINTS, HOWEVER
>YOU.
>MY OFFICE.
>NOOOOOOOOOOW.
>HAND IN YOUR WAND AND YOUR INVISIBILITY CLOAK.
>AND YOUR OTHER WAND.
>AND ONLY FIVE AND A HALF MILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR.
>PUT ON THIS WHITE HOOD AND ROBE POTTER, WE'RE STRETCHING OUR LEGS ACROSS THE GREAT WIZARDING WORLD AND RECLAIMING SOCIETY IN THE NAME OF GODRIC GRYFFINDOR, THE GREATEST WIZARD OF THEM ALL, AND A GOOD FRIEND. HEIL! HEIL, I SAY!
he said calmly
lol epic!
HAHA LOL EPIC HAHA LOL EPIC HAHA LOL EPIC HAHA LOL EPIC IM SO QUIRKY AND CATTY
"He said calmly"
LOL I SAID THE THING.
Calmly.
LOL
HAHA CONTRARIAN TAKES ARE SO COOL AND FRESH OMG ON JAH I WISH I WAS YOU FR FR. ON FDR CUH
Erm Ms. Norris is female, chud.
>he thinks females can't produce semen
CHUD
The leg stretching bit always gets me
Because bad apples have to go somewhere, might as well hide them in the dungeon and pretend they don't exist.
Harry actually killed himself before his 11th birthday becauz he hated his life and imagined the whole thing in the split second before his death when the DMT in his brain was released. No one visited his grave (if they could even call it one as it didn't even have a gravestone).
He was buried under the shed in the Dursley's back yard
Why do conservatives go to leftie colleges
This is like asking why a vegan would go to a farmers market where they're likely to see meat, all colleges have been usurped and subverted by the communists.
Because Slytherin teaches valuable things society cannot do without no matter how much the homosexuals in Gryffindor want to pretend otherwise.
The right question would be why do they alienate the Slytherins into hating the rest of the school and the wizarding world, because the whole "Slytherin is for villains" thing is nothing but a self-fulfilling prophecy; like, we took all of these kids who are already inclined towards negative behavior, pariarized them, sent them to the dungeons and told the rest of the school to shun them because they're totes secretly evil, and now we're fricking surprised at their antisocial behavior?
Because snake house rules
> Let's get rid of Slytherin so evil people can go to three other options and nobody will know they are evil, that will help