It was just kind of boring. It's a story everyone's seen a million times before, which isn't inherently a problem, but when you tackle something like that you need to really do it so well that it stands out. Nothing really stood out.
It's another "subverts your expectations" movie. >"Oh, you're rooting for protagonist? Well, he's a rape baby and actually the bad guy the movie." >"Hey wait! Where are you going? Did you really think this movie was going to be about a guy taking back his throne like we advertised?"
Yeah, it's a really perplexing why it flopped with audiences.
I love reading posts by capeshit morons. Shit makes me feel so good. Back to plebbit homosexuals.
The core revenge narrative is basic enough, but the excessive grittiness and solemnity alienated general audiences. You've gotta weave it in and out so you can set the tone but audiences have a basic relatable anchor for broad engagement
Here’s my non-bait answer >no marketing. Literally didn’t see a trailer until it hit streaming >wayyyy too late on the Viking fad. Probably would have destroyed the box office if it came out 3 months after Skyrim >really fricking bland and generic plot, especially for a viking film. Isnt the main plot of The Last Kingdom like identical to this? >Too long with bad pacing. It really loses you after it’s third cave prophecy scene. All the momentum built up with him torturing his uncle is blown when he runs away with the Ayyy
Didnt know that Hamlet was based on this (or that this was even based on real people). Obviously it was Hamlet but that’s about as tired as a plot as it gets
It's another "subverts your expectations" movie. >"Oh, you're rooting for protagonist? Well, he's a rape baby and actually the bad guy the movie." >"Hey wait! Where are you going? Did you really think this movie was going to be about a guy taking back his throne like we advertised?"
Yeah, it's a really perplexing why it flopped with audiences.
Amleth's whole goal is to avenge his father and save his mother. Turns out his father was a bad dude and his mother didn't need/want rescuing. In fact, she helped plot his father's death. His uncle already lost the throne. Amleth basically just ends up terrorizing a farmer. He kills his mother and half brother. He abandons ATJ and his twins because "they'll never be safe". From who? The whole world thinks your dead and the guy who would mainly care was already overthrown and lives life as a peasant. He kills his uncle, but gains absolutely nothing from it.
he had to kill his uncle, i think, becaue of the oath he made as a kid. i don't think he'd be able to live with himself (or perhaps in his mind be accepted into the afterlife) if he didn't avenge his father. I don't recall the "they'll never be safe" line, but that does sound stupid. His uncle is not particularly powerful
>He kills his uncle, but gains absolutely nothing from it.
The reveal that he's been clinging to a lie for his entire life, and finally realizing it is a sham leads him to just kill him out of rage and self-loathing more than anything else.
His mom was fricking gaslighting him anon. Sure she used to be a slave, but that doesn't mean his father was an irredeemable monster or that she didn't latch onto him to survive the way she did with Fjolnir. She's telling her own version of past events to justify her own decisions and how she wants to be seen.
Jesus, it's like none of the third world tards on this board watched The Lighthouse where this kind of psychological manipulation is a key fricking element.
The mom talks from a modern secular perspective, she is the israelited elements of modernity and played by a Hollywood monster. The other slav girl he had children with is the other side of modernity.
Revenge is a sacred duty, his uncle losing the kingdom and mother being in on the betrayal is irrelevant. >but gains absolutely nothing from it
It was never about gaining anything.
anon, said mother claimed to be a victim of his dad but then immediately turned around and said that if he killed his uncle and his half-brother/half-cousin, she would frick her own son and let him impregnate her, all while cackling maniacally like a cartoon villain
Amleth's dad was an butthole but Amleth was still clearly the hero
His mom was evil but his uncle wasnt. He seemed like an upstanding guy. If the movie followed him instead amleth would seem like a monster in a slasher movie.
audiences got "bored" because the action was actually pretty minimal. npc's want to see 300 over and over, with 90 minutes of stylized action sequences. this was slow burn and kind of contemplative with a lot of abstract scenes. they shoe-horned one fake dream sequence fight with the skeleton/suit of armor thing in the cave because without it, audiences would have legitimately left the theater en masse
story was meh pacing was bad. Good pacing can carry a bland script a long way. Everything else about the movie was too notch but a movie that’s 20 minutes too long is suffering. There’s so much shit in this movie that could have been cut
> story was fine
agreed. not every story needs to be super deep. a simple revenge plot is fine and they even fit a romance and a twist in there. > acting was great
no >pacing was fine
also no. this movie should not have been 2 + hours long. so much of the hijinks about the prophecy and pulling pranks on the vikings could have been cut down.
>also no. this movie should not have been 2 + hours long. so much of the hijinks about the prophecy and pulling pranks on the vikings could have been cut down.
I am a big proponent of cutting down runtimes. If I ever see anything with a runtime over 2 hours I'm immediately put off and may not even see the movie. But this didn't feel too long to me. I think you just weren't enjoying it so it felt like a slog.
Same reason Zodiac did, which is the same reason the director of Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory cut a scene where a guy says “life is a disappointment.” Generally normies don’t wanna be bummed out, even if it’s kino. At least not in the theaters. It seems to be doing better streaming.
Amleth means idiot, because in the original myth Amleth pretends to be a moron to trick his father's killer into sparing him. They sort of reference this in the movie where he adopts a moronic posture and never speaks while he's a slave.
It had two problems:
1. It was a straight-forward revenge plot. The only "twist" was that the mother was the most evil character and the mastermind behind everything bad that happened. Other than that, everyone in it was going to die because that's how these stories go. If you're going to go that route, then the mystical/weird elements should have been pushed a shitload harder. The trailer made this movie look like a Viking "Mandy". It was actually Shakespearian and dull because of it.
2. If you're not going to give us weird elements in your straight-forward revenge plot movie, then you have to give us some sort of action. Otherwise the movie is flatly boring. Eggers can't shoot action, so he gave us about two minutes of "things happening", and the rest of the movie is just dialog and actors looking at things.
It was a big budget movie with a small budget execution. Either give us something truly bizarre to revel in or give us excitement. Eggers gave us neither.
>The only "twist" was that the mother was the most evil character and the mastermind behind everything bad that happened
What about the twist of Anya being pregnant?
>It was a big budget movie with a small budget execution. Either give us something truly bizarre to revel in or give us excitement. Eggers gave us neither.
He didn't get final cut, probably would have been more abstract had it been made similarly to The Witch/Lighthouse. I assume going forward his films will ride the abstract line better as he doesn't want to work with production companies/big budget anymore.
I still hope his Nosferatu remake gets made, if anyone were to remake it I think he'd be the most capable out of all the other modern directors. I don't really see anyone doing it justice other than him
>Eggers can't shoot action
I thought the Village raid by the Berserkers was really good. The fight with the Draugr and Fjolnir were both great as well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I thought it had plenty of mystical stuff which kept me very interested and the Shakespearean stuff was all great too.
wtf. cant shoot action? the raid scene was fricking epic with the continuous shot and everything. the draugr and final duel also had some nice coreography all around. for me at least the movie did really well in that department
it's shot more like an indie flick than crowd pleaser. Also, pacing was unusual. There is one thing that almost all box office hits have in common -they have a pretty standard structure. In Northman main guy meets the villain like 45 min in the movie and later has opportunity to kill him BUT and here comes another issue - he starts rambling to his sword that it will not taste blood today because prophecy told something about volcano lol. I personally liked that literal translation from legendary poetics (shit like that doesn't happen in real life because it's moronic) but you can understand how this can be jarring to a lot of people. Even those who liked the movie have a problem with those moments. I mean, in one scene he literally talks to the hot branding metal >worry not, when i meet your owner i will thank him for the warmth you gave me
COME ON
a lot of the dialogue is also spoken in that way, and again if you dig that, you will have fun - i had. But if you don't it will just sound horribly pretentious.
my only real complaint is about the fights or action scenes in general. They look too much choreographed to have a real tension but it didn't bother me that much. Overall, very good movie but Green Knight moggs it with ease tho.
>he starts rambling to his sword that it will not taste blood today because prophecy told something about volcano
i wish this movie was more explicit about the mythology. like i would have been able to accept that he literally could not use the sword (we're shown that he's physically unable to unsheathe it) if the boss battle he got into was also shown to be real. Except that i think it was shot in a way to make it ambiguous - if not just hallucinatory, so that he when he tries to pull the sword out and can't it's just frustrating to watch. like just try harder.
It's pretty telling when you are completely unable to actually defend the things you like. Very apparent why you "like" it
2 years ago
Anonymous
>to actually defend the things you like
they like it because it wasn't as bad as other awful things
or something
I honestly think they all have actual mental problems
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Very apparent why you "like" it
because of da jooz?
green knight is shit, marvlel is shit
get better taste homosexual, here's some better films from 2021 to help you out >licorice pizza >drive my car >titane >red rocket
2 years ago
Anonymous
>titane >red rocket
This is the guy calling others plebs. lmao. lol.
2 years ago
Anonymous
give me some better films from 2021 or frick off pajeet
It's shakespearean bruh. You said you liked this aspects so why are you complaining about the sword monologue? It's the end of the act.
I felt like I was watching an old scandinavian tale translated into a movie and that's exactly what got me hooked up. I knew in an instant that most zoomers wouldn't enjoy it but come on.
>shit like that doesn't happen in real life because it's moronic
He is justifying his hesitation, his intuition says just murdering the guy is wrong, that's not the story that's supposed to happen. There are multiple points where he has leeway to interpret the prophecy in different ways. The interesting point is he always chooses the path that makes the story echo through time, he's driven by the narrative of the revenge story, not revenge itself. That's what his father taught him and even his mom contributed to. People still do that, Frederik the Great said that's what he was doing.
the story was bad and cliche and it was pretty boring
should have shown him going around raiding as a viking way more, maybe a bit how he grew up
instead we get like 1,5h of fricking around on a desolate farm, boring as shit man
>should have shown him going around raiding as a viking way more, maybe a bit how he grew up
would that really have been a more interesting story anon?
>would that really have been a more interesting story anon?
no you're right it was way better seeing him as a depressed sheep farmer with a bowl cut for 2 hours
Boring movie. Made even more boring by pointless scenes centered around femoids who do nothing to actually advance the story >brooooo his children will become kings
Who gives a frick. That's such a shallow view of what it means to be a man, fatherhood etc. You do right by your kids cause they are your progeny not cause they have some epic destiny
Anya and Kidman, Kidman especially, ruined the movie.
I'll sum it up for you utter homosexuals
it was capeshit for pseuds who preten their above capeshit
you're all literally manchildren with zero aesthetic or artistic sense
My IQ is higher than yours. By a lot.y aesthetic values are much more desirable than yours. You're just an angry homosexual looking for attention online because you're scared of it in person
>because you're scared of it in person
to be fair I do get quite a bit of attention irl and I do generally try to avoid it
especially the low-cast ugly fat morons constantly eye fricking me because I'm everything they'll never be
2 years ago
Anonymous
Never happens. Discount right winger. >low cast
These are the people pretending to be right wing in 2022 very sad very pathetic lobotomize yourself
2 years ago
Anonymous
wtf was anything I said political?
relax dude holy shit
why are northmen fans all like this??
2 years ago
Anonymous
Please do not be coy. Only wannabe right wingers refer to people as "<quality>-caste
2 years ago
Anonymous
try reading a book
any book
maybe start with the picture kind and work your way up
2 years ago
Anonymous
I said stop being coy. It's okay you were found out just own up to it.
>the film was fine
it was mediocre in even the most generous critique >and Skarsgard did an excellent job
stop trolling bro it's not funny
he had to kill his uncle, i think, becaue of the oath he made as a kid. i don't think he'd be able to live with himself (or perhaps in his mind be accepted into the afterlife) if he didn't avenge his father. I don't recall the "they'll never be safe" line, but that does sound stupid. His uncle is not particularly powerful
this physically hurt to read
wtf is wrong with you people, honestly?
I think it needed a bit more of singing and dancing. Who doesn't want to see that in action films?
Please, I want a director's cut when we just see the singing and dancing parts, because the singing and dancing parts where really cool and totally necessary for the plot to continue
and more yelling
tough guys yell right
yeah that's totally how they act just yelling at top volume and sneaking around all the time
shit was made by and for soibois
you realize your entire vocabulary is just calling everything onions and chad and chud and virgin right? and no one actually knows what the frick you're going on about?
it's a viking story. no one was being like "wait how would a chad act? let's write him that way"
except that was what eggers was kinda going for? amleth one shots a horse rider and is constantly hunched and flexmaxxing 24/7 (because thats what viking heroes do right?). his lines are also written and delivered in a very inorganic and contrived way + his scenes jump from one act to another with minimal to no establishing shot almost as if eggers deliberately denies the modern audience of any chance to relate to and humanize the 10th century amleth. he wants amleth to remain as a vague mythical idealized viking figure archetype and i like that.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>he wants amleth to remain as a vague mythical idealized viking figure archetype and i like that.
It was a fantasy film trying really hard to get you to take it seriously as a historical adventure. Figured this out the 16th time he tripped balls and went on a vision quest in order for something cool to happen no screen.
yet they're 1000x more fun, emotional and engaging than northmen was
I'm sure the execs are thrilled with eggers 'subversion on the normies'
he really showed them!
ruined his career to prove he's a total pseud
bravo!
Vikings fatigue
It's like being bombarded with whatever shithole representation in media to the level where you can't give a frick that anything relating to it is happening
Eggers got on the hype train too late
No, it's more like refusing to read means you're a mental moron
2 years ago
Anonymous
they think reading increases their iq or something
its pathetic
2 years ago
Anonymous
No, just that refusing to read is generally inherent of an already lower iq
2 years ago
Anonymous
who refuses to read?
this isnt 1907 dude do you realize how actually offputting and mentally ill you come across?
2 years ago
Anonymous
>movie sucked >no uh read the 97 books about it >no >omg you refuse to read points to me I win
I mean dude all that's missing is the asking for a peer reviewed source and you completel the reddit homosexual trifecta
Sad state where the modern youth have gone.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>movie sucked >no uh read the 97 books about it >no >omg you refuse to read points to me I win
I mean dude all that's missing is the asking for a peer reviewed source and you completel the reddit homosexual trifecta
2 years ago
Anonymous
>reading is reddit
No, being an illiterate homosexual like you is reddit
2 years ago
Anonymous
I refuse to read and I have the highest IQ in this thread
2 years ago
Anonymous
2 years ago
Anonymous
2 years ago
Anonymous
garbage
That's entirely your problem though mr illiterate moron.
>Eggers got on the hype train too late
maybe he should learn to write and direct before taking on another project
I can't be fricked to even care even if it was beautifully shot which it isn't and had great acting in it, which it doesn't. So sick of Vikings garbage. Do something else. Explore some other European culture that isn't as mainstream as the Vikings. Try something new, that alone would make it worth giving a shot rather than Vikings bullshit #89530
too soi to be conan
too normie-ized to be arthouse
iceman has no charisma, there's no story
if you dont have story or a good hook, you need high style or good action, it's middling at both
disney/marvel/capeshit has ruined cinema
zoomers and gay millenials don't understand kino, it's elusive to them. if it doesn't have quips every 3 minutes and trannies/diversity hires emasculating the male lead, their programming makes them seethe. i.e. see the homosexuals getting filtered by it in this thread
Basically the best movie ever made. >boring revenge story
Absolute plebs. The movie itself is part of the structure of Valhöll like the poets were before. The death of the norseman is the death of the ancient world that was driven by heroic narratives. Replaced with the instincts of eastern slave women.
I sold it to my gf saying "Lion King but with Vikings". That got her interested enough to watch it with me, and we got a kick trying to analyze whether the supernatural elements actually happened within the context of the film or if it was all shroom-induced hallucinations. For the record, we were able to attribute it all to drugs except for the ravens pecking at the rope shackles.
This is the reason plebs didn't like it, they're all mystery meat unable to relate to the Nordic racial memory. All the magic is historically accurate.
Historical movies, especially those set in middle ages Europe, simply aren't popular. Nowdays, people want to see superhero movies set in modern ages. Look up most succesful movies 2022, top ten are all cape flicks.
honestly it's a great movie with a very interesting direction and it deserved more respect even if has a simple, but functional, story. it wasn't boring at all if you understand and follow correctly the movie.
people are interested only in those capeshit or movies that are considered a "mass event" they are instructed to be part of for whatever reasons, but actually it's an illusion and they are like branded beasts moved around.
if you're not part of this mass and don't approve those movies you are wrong.
that's it and movies like the northman give the signal that commercially there's no place for them or something similar.
>all white
All white yes but everyone acts moronic. It is a recurring motif in this movie- "Hey that looks cool BUT doesn' t that also look kind of stupid?"
If anything, the director challenges the white paganlarpers to re-examine beyond the aesthetics of their belief and realize that it's actually stupid shit that does not belong in the modern era.
it's literally about how swedish people imagined an eternal hell consisting of an unbroken cycle of revenge for themselves to live in because they can't feel joy without knowing they're fated to be murdered
they really think that their entire lifestyle back then was nothing but savagery and they're completely enlightened and have progressed as a people
its arrogance
I liked it, but it could have been better. I think the childhood of the protagonist should've been shorter and shown through flashbacks. I liked the style of magic, but I wanted to see more of it.
It was okay. I know he complained about the studio and said he'll prob stick to india stuff from now on. Might have been better if the studio didn't frick with it.
Also I didn't like ... uhh.. plastic face b***h.
It "flopped" in the same sense Master and Commander flopped. It's not appealing to the masses. it'll still do well financially and be rated highly. It's just too esoteric for reality TV watching fat-asses.
You want mainstream millions look at TG Maverick. They paid for Applebees advertising ffs. Think about that shit. Fricking Applebees! That's what plebs want.
Standard audiences only like straightforward blockbuster films. I hate going to the theaters to see things like The Northman or Crimes of the Future because anything that deviates from the standard formula is just too much for these idiots. I swear like a third of the audience leaves every time or loudly complains after it’s over.
Why would you build up a frenzy the night before? Wouldn't you be tired if you had an all nighter or conversely wouldnt it kind of wear off and you're hung over the morning after?
Is henbane really dat good where I can catch spears and one-shot horsemen on it?
The first 30 minutes were pure dogshit. This movie was made to make white people look like feral hut dwelling Black folk. I can't believe I let this dogshit board trick me into watching this filth. You should apologize for having such pleb taste.
>The Last Duel
Decent >The Northman
Excellent, but I can see why people don't like it >King Arthur
Meh >Robert the Bruce
Meh >Ben-Hur
Oof >Black Panther
Ok, but MASSIVELY overrated by both normies and critics >Get Out
Really good, still Peele's best >Us
Decent >Hidden Figures
Mediocre >12 Years a Slave
Excellent, probably McQueen's best besides Shame
The hamlet (amleth) story has been told a billion times, the "twist" of the film is incredibly obvious for anyone familiar with it.
Eggers goes through all the effort to portray the time period, but then proceeds to base most of the film in a shitty little backwater village of no relevance. Its a complete waste. Look at something like apocalypto which features the full blown glory of a mayan temple city
>Look at something like apocalypto which features the full blown glory of a mayan temple city
or gladiator with massive non-stop visceral action
or braveheart with actual writting, emotion, competent gorgeous cinematography and massive visceral action
northman was a literal dud
The hamlet (amleth) story has been told a billion times, the "twist" of the film is incredibly obvious for anyone familiar with it.
Eggers goes through all the effort to portray the time period, but then proceeds to base most of the film in a shitty little backwater village of no relevance. Its a complete waste. Look at something like apocalypto which features the full blown glory of a mayan temple city
Comparing pseud magnet Robert eggers with Mel gibson and Ridley scott is a mistake
same
she normally just tolerates movies, but she wanted to talk about this one
part of the appeal for her besides the style was amleth's ambiguous status as a hero
Those who went to see it, loved it. But it couldn't compete with pig slop Marvel flick #176 so that's why is didn't break even financially. Also I don't understand how the budget for this film was so high.
This entire thread (after reading it for 15 minutes) is once again proof that Cinemaphile has no idea how to differentiate between the arts and entertainment.
Eggers needs to make modern liberal and diverse movies if he wants to be successful.
I like the Northman. It touches my soul. But white culture is dead. It is dead forever. Nobody will support it anymore.
Snowchimps were savage failures, indistinguishablee from Black folk until being civilized and converted. White excellence is that of the Cross, not of your weird viking larp lmao
Yes, israelites are evil because they rejected their divine heritage in favor of the selfish subversive tribalism that defines them today. Christ is the greatest good the word has ever seen. This is immediately evident when loooking at Europe's utter global dominance while guided by the Cross.
It's even present in Northmen when Amleth rejects his beautiful life of virtue in favor of the doomed cycle of selfish vengeance, and is dragged off screaming into hell because of it.
Its nice that you try to paint me as some nazi when all I do is appreciate an artistic take on the ancient myths of my people. Shows the good faith and brainpower you posses. and yes. Culture is alive as long as there are humans living it you moron. >I'm so happy I don't have to interact with creepy incels like you irl.
Again with the projection. Ad homs and ridicules is literally all you have. No substance.
>P-projection.
You and your beliefs are repulsive to 99% of white people.
>My people
You have infinitely more in common with the Black person living next door to you than you do with marauding savages from 1000 years ago. Please go back in time and tell the Saxons and Danes that they're all the white race and need to preserve racial unity lmao I would love to see how that goes over.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You and your beliefs are repulsive to 99% of white people.
And what are my beliefs exactly? >You have infinitely more in common with the Black person living next door to you than you do with marauding savages from 1000 years ago.
Yes. So what? I have not claimed otherwise. Again you have this figure in you mind but that is not me. You are terminally online and therefore think I have to be like all online anons you see. Im just a normal dude who appreciated the take on the sagas. >Please go back in time and tell the Saxons and Danes that they're all the white race and need to preserve racial unity lmao I would love to see how that goes over.
LMAO!!!!!!! The one who mentioned racial unity is you. No one talks like this irl and you try to call me incel. HAHAHAHAH
2 years ago
Anonymous
Evidently some type of putrid race cultist, this is proven by your implication that I somehow am a feral viking because of my magic skin color.
If you have more in common with people who share identical lifestyles to you, then you are not a viking by proxy of your magic skin color lol
Everyone sees right through you, maggot.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>this is proven by your implication that I somehow am a feral viking because of my magic skin color.
Where did I claim this? I don´t even know your skin colour? Wtf. >If you have more in common with people who share identical lifestyles to you
yes? >then you are not a viking by proxy of your magic skin color lol
Who the frick tried to be a viking? What are you even talking about? >Everyone sees right through you, maggot.
Yes, very observant of you. Such a colossal mind you have sir. HAHAHAHA. Go outside and talk to real people and youll realize not everyone is a nazi bro.
2 years ago
Anonymous
According to your logic, Thor: Love and Thunder is the rebirth of Christianity. Here is a new role model for all white men - a(n old) israeli woman. For Christ's sake! Just imagine the expression of the audience when that lovely israeli goddess will thunder right in their faces
>How will we save the white race?
How is this relevant to anything mentioned? >By pretending to be vikings on the internet.
Liking a mythical film is not larping. you have no coherent thoughts. >No wonder you're a friendless virgin.
lmao projecting hard
>White culture such as this hollywood film about vikings is not dead so long as theres one based aryan like me who likes vikings!
I'm so happy I don't have to interact with creepy incels like you irl.
Its nice that you try to paint me as some nazi when all I do is appreciate an artistic take on the ancient myths of my people. Shows the good faith and brainpower you posses. and yes. Culture is alive as long as there are humans living it you moron. >I'm so happy I don't have to interact with creepy incels like you irl.
Again with the projection. Ad homs and ridicules is literally all you have. No substance.
History repeats itself. >In a 2011 interview, Carpenter remarked that it was perhaps his favorite film from his own filmography. >He lamented that it took a long time for The Thing to find a wider audience, saying, "If The Thing had been a hit, my career would have been different. > I wouldn't have had to make the choices that I made >But I needed a job. I'm not saying I hate the movies I did. >I loved making Christine (1983) and Starman (1984) and Big Trouble in Little China (1986), all those films. >But my career would have been different.
Because general audience didn't appreciate the honest portrayal of norse age mindset, mythology etc. People have strongly skewed vision of what a viking movie "should" be like and it's quite different from that with no epic likeable heros, constant battles etc. Also it was just too weird like all Eggers flicks
I didn't like it.
I loved it. It's gorgeous. Masterfully done. Went in fully knowing the broad strokes and how it would end and was still captivated throughout. Exquisite, visceral, gorgeous. I was completely immersed and it felt like watching a norse legend unfold through the mind's eye of a skald. What an experience. If I were any more nordic myself, I'd be outside cavring out an idol to Odin right now.
It was just kind of boring. It's a story everyone's seen a million times before, which isn't inherently a problem, but when you tackle something like that you need to really do it so well that it stands out. Nothing really stood out.
Pretty boring to be honest
just like the witch
I love reading posts by capeshit morons. Shit makes me feel so good. Back to plebbit homosexuals.
Because it was actually good.
It was boring and one dimensional. So incredibly boring.
It was not good
too weird for normies
/thread
The core revenge narrative is basic enough, but the excessive grittiness and solemnity alienated general audiences. You've gotta weave it in and out so you can set the tone but audiences have a basic relatable anchor for broad engagement
Frick the audience, tbh.
ah yes the cornerstone of good storytelling and filmmaking
Holy Based!
People were turned off by the mysticism/abstract ritual scenes, your average consumer does not understand religion
Here’s my non-bait answer
>no marketing. Literally didn’t see a trailer until it hit streaming
>wayyyy too late on the Viking fad. Probably would have destroyed the box office if it came out 3 months after Skyrim
>really fricking bland and generic plot, especially for a viking film. Isnt the main plot of The Last Kingdom like identical to this?
>Too long with bad pacing. It really loses you after it’s third cave prophecy scene. All the momentum built up with him torturing his uncle is blown when he runs away with the Ayyy
fricking bland and generic plot, especially for a viking film. Isnt the main plot of The Last Kingdom like identical to this?
Kek it's based on the story that inspired Shakespear's Hamlet. Hamlet is an anagram for Amleth...
Didnt know that Hamlet was based on this (or that this was even based on real people). Obviously it was Hamlet but that’s about as tired as a plot as it gets
It's another "subverts your expectations" movie.
>"Oh, you're rooting for protagonist? Well, he's a rape baby and actually the bad guy the movie."
>"Hey wait! Where are you going? Did you really think this movie was going to be about a guy taking back his throne like we advertised?"
Yeah, it's a really perplexing why it flopped with audiences.
>>"Oh, you're rooting for protagonist? Well, he's a rape baby and actually the bad guy the movie."
How was he the bad guy?
Amleth's whole goal is to avenge his father and save his mother. Turns out his father was a bad dude and his mother didn't need/want rescuing. In fact, she helped plot his father's death. His uncle already lost the throne. Amleth basically just ends up terrorizing a farmer. He kills his mother and half brother. He abandons ATJ and his twins because "they'll never be safe". From who? The whole world thinks your dead and the guy who would mainly care was already overthrown and lives life as a peasant. He kills his uncle, but gains absolutely nothing from it.
>He kills his uncle, but gains absolutely nothing from it.
except the valhalla
he had to kill his uncle, i think, becaue of the oath he made as a kid. i don't think he'd be able to live with himself (or perhaps in his mind be accepted into the afterlife) if he didn't avenge his father. I don't recall the "they'll never be safe" line, but that does sound stupid. His uncle is not particularly powerful
>He kills his uncle, but gains absolutely nothing from it.
The reveal that he's been clinging to a lie for his entire life, and finally realizing it is a sham leads him to just kill him out of rage and self-loathing more than anything else.
His mom was fricking gaslighting him anon. Sure she used to be a slave, but that doesn't mean his father was an irredeemable monster or that she didn't latch onto him to survive the way she did with Fjolnir. She's telling her own version of past events to justify her own decisions and how she wants to be seen.
Jesus, it's like none of the third world tards on this board watched The Lighthouse where this kind of psychological manipulation is a key fricking element.
The mom talks from a modern secular perspective, she is the israelited elements of modernity and played by a Hollywood monster. The other slav girl he had children with is the other side of modernity.
Revenge is a sacred duty, his uncle losing the kingdom and mother being in on the betrayal is irrelevant.
>but gains absolutely nothing from it
It was never about gaining anything.
There is no subversion of expectations unless you expected the dad to not get killed. Its a straight forward revenge story.
>Well, he's a rape baby
how is he to blame for that?
t. rape babby no one wanted
my parents are literally 5m from in the other room
tell your dad danny says hi
anon, said mother claimed to be a victim of his dad but then immediately turned around and said that if he killed his uncle and his half-brother/half-cousin, she would frick her own son and let him impregnate her, all while cackling maniacally like a cartoon villain
Amleth's dad was an butthole but Amleth was still clearly the hero
His mom was evil but his uncle wasnt. He seemed like an upstanding guy. If the movie followed him instead amleth would seem like a monster in a slasher movie.
upstanding guy? he murdered northman's dad. he's a literal viking aka an rapist and raider. parasite of the medieval age
>murdered his brother
>cheats on his wife
>religious nut
>is fully prepared to sacrifice a girl to "appease" the gods
dude is a psycho
it has high RT score which means DA JOOOZ liked it
Too many dream/vision sequences for the normie.
story was fine
acting was great
pacing was fine
audiences got "bored" because the action was actually pretty minimal. npc's want to see 300 over and over, with 90 minutes of stylized action sequences. this was slow burn and kind of contemplative with a lot of abstract scenes. they shoe-horned one fake dream sequence fight with the skeleton/suit of armor thing in the cave because without it, audiences would have legitimately left the theater en masse
story was meh pacing was bad. Good pacing can carry a bland script a long way. Everything else about the movie was too notch but a movie that’s 20 minutes too long is suffering. There’s so much shit in this movie that could have been cut
> story was fine
agreed. not every story needs to be super deep. a simple revenge plot is fine and they even fit a romance and a twist in there.
> acting was great
no
>pacing was fine
also no. this movie should not have been 2 + hours long. so much of the hijinks about the prophecy and pulling pranks on the vikings could have been cut down.
>also no. this movie should not have been 2 + hours long. so much of the hijinks about the prophecy and pulling pranks on the vikings could have been cut down.
I am a big proponent of cutting down runtimes. If I ever see anything with a runtime over 2 hours I'm immediately put off and may not even see the movie. But this didn't feel too long to me. I think you just weren't enjoying it so it felt like a slog.
If anything, the movie was way too short. Should've been 4 hours long. This cut was too fast-paced.
Same reason Zodiac did, which is the same reason the director of Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory cut a scene where a guy says “life is a disappointment.” Generally normies don’t wanna be bummed out, even if it’s kino. At least not in the theaters. It seems to be doing better streaming.
>If you put the last letter in Amleth in the front it becomes Hamlet
holy kino bravo nolan
its the other way around, hamlet is based on a old norse story of a dude named amleth
but you already knew that
The word amlóði refers to a weak man. Literally it means someone that troubles Óðinn. In tests of strength the weakest result is amlóði.
Amleth means idiot, because in the original myth Amleth pretends to be a moron to trick his father's killer into sparing him. They sort of reference this in the movie where he adopts a moronic posture and never speaks while he's a slave.
It had two problems:
1. It was a straight-forward revenge plot. The only "twist" was that the mother was the most evil character and the mastermind behind everything bad that happened. Other than that, everyone in it was going to die because that's how these stories go. If you're going to go that route, then the mystical/weird elements should have been pushed a shitload harder. The trailer made this movie look like a Viking "Mandy". It was actually Shakespearian and dull because of it.
2. If you're not going to give us weird elements in your straight-forward revenge plot movie, then you have to give us some sort of action. Otherwise the movie is flatly boring. Eggers can't shoot action, so he gave us about two minutes of "things happening", and the rest of the movie is just dialog and actors looking at things.
It was a big budget movie with a small budget execution. Either give us something truly bizarre to revel in or give us excitement. Eggers gave us neither.
>The only "twist" was that the mother was the most evil character and the mastermind behind everything bad that happened
What about the twist of Anya being pregnant?
nobody cares
>It was a big budget movie with a small budget execution. Either give us something truly bizarre to revel in or give us excitement. Eggers gave us neither.
He didn't get final cut, probably would have been more abstract had it been made similarly to The Witch/Lighthouse. I assume going forward his films will ride the abstract line better as he doesn't want to work with production companies/big budget anymore.
I still hope his Nosferatu remake gets made, if anyone were to remake it I think he'd be the most capable out of all the other modern directors. I don't really see anyone doing it justice other than him
>Eggers can't shoot action
I thought the Village raid by the Berserkers was really good. The fight with the Draugr and Fjolnir were both great as well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I thought it had plenty of mystical stuff which kept me very interested and the Shakespearean stuff was all great too.
They were fine, but I don't feel like it was good action.
>but I don't feel like it was good action.
you brain on marvel movies.
wtf. cant shoot action? the raid scene was fricking epic with the continuous shot and everything. the draugr and final duel also had some nice coreography all around. for me at least the movie did really well in that department
I watched which makes me part of the audience and I liked it. So why do you go arround spewing obvious(to me) lies?
Bad marketing, simple as
Eggers just doesn't get "it"
it's shot more like an indie flick than crowd pleaser. Also, pacing was unusual. There is one thing that almost all box office hits have in common -they have a pretty standard structure. In Northman main guy meets the villain like 45 min in the movie and later has opportunity to kill him BUT and here comes another issue - he starts rambling to his sword that it will not taste blood today because prophecy told something about volcano lol. I personally liked that literal translation from legendary poetics (shit like that doesn't happen in real life because it's moronic) but you can understand how this can be jarring to a lot of people. Even those who liked the movie have a problem with those moments. I mean, in one scene he literally talks to the hot branding metal
>worry not, when i meet your owner i will thank him for the warmth you gave me
COME ON
a lot of the dialogue is also spoken in that way, and again if you dig that, you will have fun - i had. But if you don't it will just sound horribly pretentious.
my only real complaint is about the fights or action scenes in general. They look too much choreographed to have a real tension but it didn't bother me that much. Overall, very good movie but Green Knight moggs it with ease tho.
>he starts rambling to his sword that it will not taste blood today because prophecy told something about volcano
i wish this movie was more explicit about the mythology. like i would have been able to accept that he literally could not use the sword (we're shown that he's physically unable to unsheathe it) if the boss battle he got into was also shown to be real. Except that i think it was shot in a way to make it ambiguous - if not just hallucinatory, so that he when he tries to pull the sword out and can't it's just frustrating to watch. like just try harder.
>Green Knight moggs it with ease tho.
Cringe
2016 tourist spotted
Green knight was dreadfully boring I turned it off 40 minutes in or so
we've already established who you are. We don't need more info.
It's pretty telling when you are completely unable to actually defend the things you like. Very apparent why you "like" it
>to actually defend the things you like
they like it because it wasn't as bad as other awful things
or something
I honestly think they all have actual mental problems
>Very apparent why you "like" it
because of da jooz?
Green Knight was best movie of 2021.
Try Marvel, it might be more in your taste.
green knight is shit, marvlel is shit
get better taste homosexual, here's some better films from 2021 to help you out
>licorice pizza
>drive my car
>titane
>red rocket
>titane
>red rocket
This is the guy calling others plebs. lmao. lol.
give me some better films from 2021 or frick off pajeet
It was pretty ok, but lost a lot of point with the fights scenes, too slow and lame choreography for the most part.
Nah, was ok, but very bland plus a decent chunk of it was pointless. The whole giants scene was a waste of time and terrible CGI.
It's shakespearean bruh. You said you liked this aspects so why are you complaining about the sword monologue? It's the end of the act.
I felt like I was watching an old scandinavian tale translated into a movie and that's exactly what got me hooked up. I knew in an instant that most zoomers wouldn't enjoy it but come on.
i'm not really complaining. I liked it even tho it's kinda ridiculous if you think about it.
>shit like that doesn't happen in real life because it's moronic
He is justifying his hesitation, his intuition says just murdering the guy is wrong, that's not the story that's supposed to happen. There are multiple points where he has leeway to interpret the prophecy in different ways. The interesting point is he always chooses the path that makes the story echo through time, he's driven by the narrative of the revenge story, not revenge itself. That's what his father taught him and even his mom contributed to. People still do that, Frederik the Great said that's what he was doing.
>Gawain
>Patel
gay
the story was bad and cliche and it was pretty boring
should have shown him going around raiding as a viking way more, maybe a bit how he grew up
instead we get like 1,5h of fricking around on a desolate farm, boring as shit man
>should have shown him going around raiding as a viking way more, maybe a bit how he grew up
would that really have been a more interesting story anon?
>would that really have been a more interesting story anon?
no you're right it was way better seeing him as a depressed sheep farmer with a bowl cut for 2 hours
Depressed?
Man was on a mission, terrorizing the farm each night
epic pranks bro hell yeah just like gladiator
it's the best movie that immerse you into paganism and tribalism as it was, i guess it was too ambtitious and weird for normies.
looked pretty but boring story
Boring movie. Made even more boring by pointless scenes centered around femoids who do nothing to actually advance the story
>brooooo his children will become kings
Who gives a frick. That's such a shallow view of what it means to be a man, fatherhood etc. You do right by your kids cause they are your progeny not cause they have some epic destiny
Anya and Kidman, Kidman especially, ruined the movie.
damn you made the effort to sound as much as an incel as you could huh
I think Skarsgard did an amazing job
Visuals were nice as was the music
Pretty solid movie all things considered
not one thing you said was accurate moron
2 of the things he said were correct. And I did not like the movie.
I'll sum it up for you utter homosexuals
it was capeshit for pseuds who preten their above capeshit
you're all literally manchildren with zero aesthetic or artistic sense
My IQ is higher than yours. By a lot.y aesthetic values are much more desirable than yours. You're just an angry homosexual looking for attention online because you're scared of it in person
>because you're scared of it in person
to be fair I do get quite a bit of attention irl and I do generally try to avoid it
especially the low-cast ugly fat morons constantly eye fricking me because I'm everything they'll never be
Never happens. Discount right winger.
>low cast
These are the people pretending to be right wing in 2022 very sad very pathetic lobotomize yourself
wtf was anything I said political?
relax dude holy shit
why are northmen fans all like this??
Please do not be coy. Only wannabe right wingers refer to people as "<quality>-caste
try reading a book
any book
maybe start with the picture kind and work your way up
I said stop being coy. It's okay you were found out just own up to it.
Frick off contrarian moron, the film was fine and Skarsgard did an excellent job
>the film was fine
it was mediocre in even the most generous critique
>and Skarsgard did an excellent job
stop trolling bro it's not funny
this physically hurt to read
wtf is wrong with you people, honestly?
>this physically hurt to read
what part did i get wrong? i feel like i gave a pretty fair reading of the movie. but it was just from memory.
oh no anon you just literally talk like an absolute total homosexual who's likely also esl
Not him, but man you are a fricking dick.
Not him, but do you know where you are you homosexual Redditor?
he's wrong, but calling someone a dick here?
topkek
>he's wrong, but calling someone a dick here?
it doesn't usually happen because most of you are uncharismatic mush mouthed dipshits
You gotta be at least 18 to post here my dude
>my dude
classic autistic behavior
there's that gay talk again
that's right cupcake
you're moron
I think it needed a bit more of singing and dancing. Who doesn't want to see that in action films?
Please, I want a director's cut when we just see the singing and dancing parts, because the singing and dancing parts where really cool and totally necessary for the plot to continue
and more yelling
tough guys yell right
yeah that's totally how they act just yelling at top volume and sneaking around all the time
shit was made by and for soibois
what the frick are you talking about lol
did I stutter
its a soi's take on how they think real chads act
you realize your entire vocabulary is just calling everything onions and chad and chud and virgin right? and no one actually knows what the frick you're going on about?
it's a viking story. no one was being like "wait how would a chad act? let's write him that way"
log off for awhile moron
>no one was being like "wait how would a chad act? let's write him that way"
that... perfectly illustrates my point
except that was what eggers was kinda going for? amleth one shots a horse rider and is constantly hunched and flexmaxxing 24/7 (because thats what viking heroes do right?). his lines are also written and delivered in a very inorganic and contrived way + his scenes jump from one act to another with minimal to no establishing shot almost as if eggers deliberately denies the modern audience of any chance to relate to and humanize the 10th century amleth. he wants amleth to remain as a vague mythical idealized viking figure archetype and i like that.
>he wants amleth to remain as a vague mythical idealized viking figure archetype and i like that.
It was a fantasy film trying really hard to get you to take it seriously as a historical adventure. Figured this out the 16th time he tripped balls and went on a vision quest in order for something cool to happen no screen.
It's like you missed the entire Berserker ritual at the start of the movie
it's like it didn't matter enough for me to care
Because the masses are moronic and have shit taste. This should be known.
This.
Big Normie is a fricking idiot
>meanwhile braveheart is a beloved classic
>meanwhile gladiator is a beloved classic
maybe it just sucked and youre trying too hard
Those movies are so fricking normie friendly. Basically halfway made by the studio execs who's only goal is mass appeal
yet they're 1000x more fun, emotional and engaging than northmen was
I'm sure the execs are thrilled with eggers 'subversion on the normies'
he really showed them!
ruined his career to prove he's a total pseud
bravo!
>more fun and emotional
You're a gigantic homosexual
do you just watch movies to feel smarter than everyone else?
heaven forbid people connect with a film's emotional core and enjoy themselves
starting to see the pattern here
Both of those movies are schmaltzy garbage for midwits
still better than northman
I have not even seen it yet, might watch it.
Normies can't deal with magical realism
The movie that keeps on filtering plebs. Audiences did like it. Hence the high tomato/imdb sores. Better luck next time sport.
oh now we suddenly care about rotten tomato/IMDB scores
People have always cared about audience score. No one cares what a bunch of homosexual critics say
because it wasn't very good?
I liked it.
>I WILL AVENGE YOU FATHER
>I WILL SAVE YOU MOTHER
>I WILL KILL YOU FJOLNIR
bump for trannies tears
Vikings fatigue
It's like being bombarded with whatever shithole representation in media to the level where you can't give a frick that anything relating to it is happening
Eggers got on the hype train too late
>Eggers got on the hype train too late
maybe he should learn to write and direct before taking on another project
Barely anybody speaks maya
Based take, I immediately pirated it it after seeing it so it can take its place un my permanent collection
READ THE SAGAS YOU FRICKING moronS
does that make the shitty poorly written and acted movie less bad?
It makes you less of a low-brained dumbass
ah yes the reading makes you smart ploy
definitely not a midwit
>reading is for midwits!
The absolute state
>reading garbage means I'm smart!
No, it's more like refusing to read means you're a mental moron
they think reading increases their iq or something
its pathetic
No, just that refusing to read is generally inherent of an already lower iq
who refuses to read?
this isnt 1907 dude do you realize how actually offputting and mentally ill you come across?
Sad state where the modern youth have gone.
>movie sucked
>no uh read the 97 books about it
>no
>omg you refuse to read points to me I win
I mean dude all that's missing is the asking for a peer reviewed source and you completel the reddit homosexual trifecta
>reading is reddit
No, being an illiterate homosexual like you is reddit
I refuse to read and I have the highest IQ in this thread
garbage
That's entirely your problem though mr illiterate moron.
>READ
Stopped reading right then and there.
Bro... you're reading something right now
You wouldn't get it..
I can't be fricked to even care even if it was beautifully shot which it isn't and had great acting in it, which it doesn't. So sick of Vikings garbage. Do something else. Explore some other European culture that isn't as mainstream as the Vikings. Try something new, that alone would make it worth giving a shot rather than Vikings bullshit #89530
Which ones? I have read poetic Edda and kalevala and still did not like this movie
Saga of Gisli and Saga of Grettir seem to be main inspirations.
too soi to be conan
too normie-ized to be arthouse
iceman has no charisma, there's no story
if you dont have story or a good hook, you need high style or good action, it's middling at both
if normies saw arthouse they’d get shitty audience scores too
>to soi
>our MC doesn't bat an eye as he burns down an entire village worth of children
I don't see it
it's not the mc, it's inherent to eggers and his filmmaking
call it meditative if you want but its low test and low energy
Not enough actual viking shit. Most guys wanted more of the berserker bros. Sucks that they didn't have a naval battle scene.
>having to read a couple books to properly understand something is considered unrealistically insane
disney/marvel/capeshit has ruined cinema
zoomers and gay millenials don't understand kino, it's elusive to them. if it doesn't have quips every 3 minutes and trannies/diversity hires emasculating the male lead, their programming makes them seethe. i.e. see the homosexuals getting filtered by it in this thread
The only superhero movie I've ever liked is Unbreakable.
keep seething
Being just a bit better than capeshit doesn't make it a good movie
Basically the best movie ever made.
>boring revenge story
Absolute plebs. The movie itself is part of the structure of Valhöll like the poets were before. The death of the norseman is the death of the ancient world that was driven by heroic narratives. Replaced with the instincts of eastern slave women.
I sold it to my gf saying "Lion King but with Vikings". That got her interested enough to watch it with me, and we got a kick trying to analyze whether the supernatural elements actually happened within the context of the film or if it was all shroom-induced hallucinations. For the record, we were able to attribute it all to drugs except for the ravens pecking at the rope shackles.
>and we got a kick trying to analyze
jesus christ the state of Cinemaphile
just watch it homosexual wtf
I wish I could be this moronic again. Makes enjoying films easier
its called not being a homosexual you midwitted piece of shit
Nah, it's actually just called being moronic, like I already said
That is how we watch movies together. We will often pause a film to discuss plot points, character development, and filmmaking decisions
This movie was made for teenage boys and manchildren right? I was cringing the whole way through
>Here's your culture, tradbros
>*yiff*
>*fart*
>[incest intensifies]
No thanks
incest is hot though
FantasyCHAD here. Downloading it right now.
Expecting kino like Lighthouse
Wait till they makes movies about Abraham and Moise if you want to see what a real movie looks like.
It's capeshit for weird racists
lol
>thought it was a historical movie
>suddenly this mf is seeing witches and having gay visions
dropped
This is the reason plebs didn't like it, they're all mystery meat unable to relate to the Nordic racial memory. All the magic is historically accurate.
Magic is real.
Historical movies, especially those set in middle ages Europe, simply aren't popular. Nowdays, people want to see superhero movies set in modern ages. Look up most succesful movies 2022, top ten are all cape flicks.
No Black folk and trannies made the israeli audience hate it
Not enough action.
White culture is covering yourself in mud and dancing around fire? Wow
>white culture
>acting exactly like Black folk + incest
uhhhhh whitebros??
honestly it's a great movie with a very interesting direction and it deserved more respect even if has a simple, but functional, story. it wasn't boring at all if you understand and follow correctly the movie.
people are interested only in those capeshit or movies that are considered a "mass event" they are instructed to be part of for whatever reasons, but actually it's an illusion and they are like branded beasts moved around.
if you're not part of this mass and don't approve those movies you are wrong.
that's it and movies like the northman give the signal that commercially there's no place for them or something similar.
>people don't like movie I like therefore they only watch capeshit
the fact I liked it is completely irrelevant. people pay for watching capeshit at the cinema, ignoring the rest, and that's a fact.
maybe they should start making better movies then?
better compared to what?
moron. critics liked it. plebs didnt. simple as. stop being a sperg. you sound like a Black person talking about black panther
it was shit
So, now Cinemaphile pretends to dislike Northman just to be contrarian?
Emotion....
I can see most people tuning out when they're in the cave howling and farting like dogs
Haven't watched it is it good or do you autists just like it because the cast is all white?
It’s shit
>all white
All white yes but everyone acts moronic. It is a recurring motif in this movie- "Hey that looks cool BUT doesn' t that also look kind of stupid?"
If anything, the director challenges the white paganlarpers to re-examine beyond the aesthetics of their belief and realize that it's actually stupid shit that does not belong in the modern era.
Rent free
it's literally about how swedish people imagined an eternal hell consisting of an unbroken cycle of revenge for themselves to live in because they can't feel joy without knowing they're fated to be murdered
they really think that their entire lifestyle back then was nothing but savagery and they're completely enlightened and have progressed as a people
its arrogance
Your nations have crosses on their flags. Seethe and cope.
I liked it, but it could have been better. I think the childhood of the protagonist should've been shorter and shown through flashbacks. I liked the style of magic, but I wanted to see more of it.
It was okay. I know he complained about the studio and said he'll prob stick to india stuff from now on. Might have been better if the studio didn't frick with it.
Also I didn't like ... uhh.. plastic face b***h.
>Also I didn't like ... uhh.. plastic face b***h.
but Anya was cute!
Checked
Hail Odin
the audience did like it, but that audience was small.
It "flopped" in the same sense Master and Commander flopped. It's not appealing to the masses. it'll still do well financially and be rated highly. It's just too esoteric for reality TV watching fat-asses.
You want mainstream millions look at TG Maverick. They paid for Applebees advertising ffs. Think about that shit. Fricking Applebees! That's what plebs want.
le spooky tripps again! i'm out of this cursed thread!
It was FRICKING BORING. Go watch 13th warrior if you want cool viking shit.
>BORING
filtered zoomer
I said FRICKING BORING which is even worse than plain BORING. It presents nothing of value and watching it is a waste of time.
>13th warrior
ngl. this was good. could do for a remake in the Northman cinematic style.
LO THERE DO I SEE MY FATHER
Standard audiences only like straightforward blockbuster films. I hate going to the theaters to see things like The Northman or Crimes of the Future because anything that deviates from the standard formula is just too much for these idiots. I swear like a third of the audience leaves every time or loudly complains after it’s over.
Are you morons baiting or did Cinemaphile unironically get filtered?
>he probably thinks it’s kino
babbys first arthouse flick?
plot wise it kinda sucked.
Viking fatigue and the story is not original
Why would you build up a frenzy the night before? Wouldn't you be tired if you had an all nighter or conversely wouldnt it kind of wear off and you're hung over the morning after?
Is henbane really dat good where I can catch spears and one-shot horsemen on it?
The first 30 minutes were pure dogshit. This movie was made to make white people look like feral hut dwelling Black folk. I can't believe I let this dogshit board trick me into watching this filth. You should apologize for having such pleb taste.
History denier
you are also comparing good (with exceptions) movies to bad movies
Not a single movie on there is actually good.
get out, hidden figures and 12 years a slave are all good. the last duel was also alright
This wtf
now i see...
>movies with no advertisement
>movies with advertisement
>The Last Duel
Decent
>The Northman
Excellent, but I can see why people don't like it
>King Arthur
Meh
>Robert the Bruce
Meh
>Ben-Hur
Oof
>Black Panther
Ok, but MASSIVELY overrated by both normies and critics
>Get Out
Really good, still Peele's best
>Us
Decent
>Hidden Figures
Mediocre
>12 Years a Slave
Excellent, probably McQueen's best besides Shame
All bad movies
>movie has an israeli producer
okay schizo
I watched it last night
the only thing I learned from this movie is that northern europeans are freaks and savages and Christianity was the best thing to ever happen to them
someone post a webm of the dude doing the 360 spear throw when they raid that village
No u
predictable story and small scale
The hamlet (amleth) story has been told a billion times, the "twist" of the film is incredibly obvious for anyone familiar with it.
Eggers goes through all the effort to portray the time period, but then proceeds to base most of the film in a shitty little backwater village of no relevance. Its a complete waste. Look at something like apocalypto which features the full blown glory of a mayan temple city
>Look at something like apocalypto which features the full blown glory of a mayan temple city
or gladiator with massive non-stop visceral action
or braveheart with actual writting, emotion, competent gorgeous cinematography and massive visceral action
northman was a literal dud
Comparing pseud magnet Robert eggers with Mel gibson and Ridley scott is a mistake
why?
he tried to reach similar heights in a similar genre and totally shit the bed
you ok big guy?
Don’t ever reply to me again until you remove dick from mouth
d-do we kiss now?
everyone in my theater stood up and clapped during the scene where Amleth pledges his allegiance to the American Nazi Party
Mom just watched it and liked it.
same
she normally just tolerates movies, but she wanted to talk about this one
part of the appeal for her besides the style was amleth's ambiguous status as a hero
It wasn't good
I will find you and avenge this misdeed. Songs of the misery I visited on your family will be heard for a thousand years.
Because it was boring and falsely advertised.
Those who went to see it, loved it. But it couldn't compete with pig slop Marvel flick #176 so that's why is didn't break even financially. Also I don't understand how the budget for this film was so high.
This entire thread (after reading it for 15 minutes) is once again proof that Cinemaphile has no idea how to differentiate between the arts and entertainment.
>Why didn't the audience like it?
because a decade of marvel movies have taught people to only enjoy films that actually entertain
Eggers needs to make modern liberal and diverse movies if he wants to be successful.
I like the Northman. It touches my soul. But white culture is dead. It is dead forever. Nobody will support it anymore.
Meanwhile top gun rips at the office. Muh white culture. The northman was marketed as a viking 300 and plebs got an arthouse flick
The "America, frick yeah" movie? I haven't watched it yet.
>VikingBlack folk
>White culture
They made you hate what you are.
Snowchimps were savage failures, indistinguishablee from Black folk until being civilized and converted. White excellence is that of the Cross, not of your weird viking larp lmao
Jesus was a israelite.
Yes, israelites are evil because they rejected their divine heritage in favor of the selfish subversive tribalism that defines them today. Christ is the greatest good the word has ever seen. This is immediately evident when loooking at Europe's utter global dominance while guided by the Cross.
It's even present in Northmen when Amleth rejects his beautiful life of virtue in favor of the doomed cycle of selfish vengeance, and is dragged off screaming into hell because of it.
>P-projection.
You and your beliefs are repulsive to 99% of white people.
>My people
You have infinitely more in common with the Black person living next door to you than you do with marauding savages from 1000 years ago. Please go back in time and tell the Saxons and Danes that they're all the white race and need to preserve racial unity lmao I would love to see how that goes over.
>You and your beliefs are repulsive to 99% of white people.
And what are my beliefs exactly?
>You have infinitely more in common with the Black person living next door to you than you do with marauding savages from 1000 years ago.
Yes. So what? I have not claimed otherwise. Again you have this figure in you mind but that is not me. You are terminally online and therefore think I have to be like all online anons you see. Im just a normal dude who appreciated the take on the sagas.
>Please go back in time and tell the Saxons and Danes that they're all the white race and need to preserve racial unity lmao I would love to see how that goes over.
LMAO!!!!!!! The one who mentioned racial unity is you. No one talks like this irl and you try to call me incel. HAHAHAHAH
Evidently some type of putrid race cultist, this is proven by your implication that I somehow am a feral viking because of my magic skin color.
If you have more in common with people who share identical lifestyles to you, then you are not a viking by proxy of your magic skin color lol
Everyone sees right through you, maggot.
>this is proven by your implication that I somehow am a feral viking because of my magic skin color.
Where did I claim this? I don´t even know your skin colour? Wtf.
>If you have more in common with people who share identical lifestyles to you
yes?
>then you are not a viking by proxy of your magic skin color lol
Who the frick tried to be a viking? What are you even talking about?
>Everyone sees right through you, maggot.
Yes, very observant of you. Such a colossal mind you have sir. HAHAHAHA. Go outside and talk to real people and youll realize not everyone is a nazi bro.
According to your logic, Thor: Love and Thunder is the rebirth of Christianity. Here is a new role model for all white men - a(n old) israeli woman. For Christ's sake! Just imagine the expression of the audience when that lovely israeli goddess will thunder right in their faces
You demoralized shit. It is not dead as long as we keep it alive.
>How will we save the white race?
>By pretending to be vikings on the internet.
No wonder you're a friendless virgin.
>How will we save the white race?
How is this relevant to anything mentioned?
>By pretending to be vikings on the internet.
Liking a mythical film is not larping. you have no coherent thoughts.
>No wonder you're a friendless virgin.
lmao projecting hard
>White culture such as this hollywood film about vikings is not dead so long as theres one based aryan like me who likes vikings!
I'm so happy I don't have to interact with creepy incels like you irl.
Its nice that you try to paint me as some nazi when all I do is appreciate an artistic take on the ancient myths of my people. Shows the good faith and brainpower you posses. and yes. Culture is alive as long as there are humans living it you moron.
>I'm so happy I don't have to interact with creepy incels like you irl.
Again with the projection. Ad homs and ridicules is literally all you have. No substance.
The Revenant did it better, and didn’t feel rushed
Reading the one star reviews for this movie is just loaded with idiots and women.
funny the 5 star reviews are all soibois and closeted dudes acting tough
Are the trannies in the room with you now?
Tyre in this thread.
Cultural misandry.
Misleading marketing campaign. Movie was excellent
Don't know but I loved it
Because modern people are illiterate. Everyone who are familiar with the sagas liked it.
>the virgin Green Knight
"Is there anything after?"
"Why would there be?"
>the chad Northman
Valhalla is real and the main character achieves it.
>Valhalla
>Real
>Character dies at the gates of hell
anon, I...
Damn, thanks for the new wallpaper, anon.
right. I also saved it.
because general audiences are actually moronic
History repeats itself.
>In a 2011 interview, Carpenter remarked that it was perhaps his favorite film from his own filmography.
>He lamented that it took a long time for The Thing to find a wider audience, saying, "If The Thing had been a hit, my career would have been different.
> I wouldn't have had to make the choices that I made
>But I needed a job. I'm not saying I hate the movies I did.
>I loved making Christine (1983) and Starman (1984) and Big Trouble in Little China (1986), all those films.
>But my career would have been different.
Northshit will still be bad in the future
They're conditioned to only approve of woke, pozzed trash.
Just a run of the mill revenge movie with some mysticism, not good or bad just is.
Frick this film. I took my bros to it and it let me down. I was honestly embarrassed.
it was mediocre. /misc/oids need any cultural victory they can get at this point though so they’ll praise it as a masterpiece.
It was like Gladiator with none of the fun or Russel Crowe's good acting
Northman is a shitty superhero name
It was just bad.
Just admit it. Actual good movies don't need stans
Watched it, liked it, and you can suck my dick. Watching those slavshits being brought to their knees made me ROCK hard.
Just a bunch of men screaming at each other
Because general audience didn't appreciate the honest portrayal of norse age mindset, mythology etc. People have strongly skewed vision of what a viking movie "should" be like and it's quite different from that with no epic likeable heros, constant battles etc. Also it was just too weird like all Eggers flicks
I didn't like it.
I loved it. It's gorgeous. Masterfully done. Went in fully knowing the broad strokes and how it would end and was still captivated throughout. Exquisite, visceral, gorgeous. I was completely immersed and it felt like watching a norse legend unfold through the mind's eye of a skald. What an experience. If I were any more nordic myself, I'd be outside cavring out an idol to Odin right now.
holy cringe
Too white for normies