Why didnt Tolkien ever respond to this?

Why didn’t Tolkien ever respond to this?

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because he didn't think about GRRM at all.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Also he was dead at the time

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        that's no excuse

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >WHAT SAY YOU??

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I snorted

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    GRRM seems to forget that the Hobbit / LOTR books were MADE FOR CHILDREN. They're literal fairy tales with a peak target audience of seven to twelve year old boys

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      So is ASOIAF

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Hobbit was made for children. LOTR is for the Hobbit fans that grew up, so it's not really a children's book at all. Tolkien wasn't stupid like Lucas, who moronicly refused to grow the maturity level of it with the audience who were fans of it.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >moronicly refused to grow the maturity level of it with the audience who were fans of it
        If only that was the case. OT felt like it was targeted for teenagers and young adults while prequels are literally for 10 year old kids.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        haha what a moron selling billions worth of toys

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      LOTR was one of the books we were advised to read when I was a young teenager at school. But that doesn't change anything, you should read LOTR at the point in your life when you really start to get interested in sexual relationships, so that's no excuse for censorship.

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Uhh because he's old???

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tolkien was too busy having sex.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hahahahahah

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >grimms first wife left him after just 4 years
      lmao

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It is literally this, GRRM can't get any so he writes about it.
      Also hobbits had massive families, I really don't think they grow their children farming.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      haha say that again chud

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >he cute

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >israelite & his Golems.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Does he buy special jeans without belt loops lmao

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Now we know what he's doing instead of actually writing Winds of Winter

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I understand that this was a funny maymay, but grrm is in fact married

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Thinking being married means GRRM is having sex.

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I could totally imagine Sam banging his busty Hobbit wife tbh senpai

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    he’s was a christcuck terrified of intimacy

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      As opposed to a sexually degenerate atheist whose every waking moments are preoccupied with cooming.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        the papal states have always been a lair of gays, don't you know?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Holy frick you people get so easily offended

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          easy to get offended when subhumans like you are allowed to post here

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      If he’s was a christcuck terrified of intimacy, why did he have children while you don't even Have Sex?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He adored his wife.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      "intimacy" is something intimate, duh, not something to be exposed to the whole world

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        But if you don't talk about intimacy you can't talk about how special you are for being gay or liking shit or whatever. It's why trannies flip out about being seen as trannies yet constantly announce themselves as trannies everywhere instead of even trying to pretend they're women.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah that's why there's 2 billion Christians on Earth. No sex going on.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Public degeneracy is not intimacy.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Christians have giant families, especially Catholics. Christcucks are Christfricks.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      projection

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be creative writer
    >can't imagine hobbits having sex

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >you can't imagine Hobbits having sex, can you?
    Oh I can George

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    But there’s plenty of romance across Lotr and the Hobbit movies? Just because there isnt any blatant sex scenes the world is incomplete? lol lmao even

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gurm is genuinely a moron.

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >can't imagine hobbits having sex, can you?
    Has this moronic lardass ever used the internet?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      no, he famously uses a computer from the 80s

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hobbits get married and have kids in the books.
    Is this a request for hardcore hobbit impregnation porn?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's just a fricking wrong'un. There's entire geneaologies of people having children, there's multiple stories where love is the main focus, and inheritance is a major theme. But because Tolkien wasn't crass enough to put a damn Hobbit gangbang in his world, it's "incomplete". GRRM is a degenerate hack.

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't Tolkien describe severe diarrhea after drinking foul water? Surely it happened at least once in their travels.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't listen to fat people. If you can't pay attention to what you put in your mouth, why should I pay attention to anything that comes out of it?

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >aside from hairy large feet, hobbits are just small humans
    >"how on EARTH could anyone imagine hobbits having sex"

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >small humans
      >having sex
      umm, mods?

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    When tolkien wrote lotr it was literally illegal to write about sex outside of medical journals.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't think that's what prevented him from writing an explicit hobbit creampie chapter

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't have to be pornographic about it though you can write about sex more intimately, that being said It just wasn't part of the world spirit of the times Tolkien was living in.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >you can write about sex more intimately
          To what narrative end?
          The books are full of intimacy, from lovers to friends to even Frodo feeling a genuine intimate connection with Gollum.

          Why does it need an explicit sex scene? What does that add?

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Why does it need an explicit sex scene? What does that add?
            nta but the sewer orgy in IT was kino

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          So like when he talks about people having kids? It's already in there.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >write about sex more intimately

          No you can't, the more detail you go into about sex the less intimate it becomes. A feeling of intimacy is created by how the characters think and interact, and no amount of "she gently kissed his firm but yielding penis" will ever be able to come close. Sex is base, animal, physical, instinctual, it works best when you're doing it. Love is spiritual, ethereal, abstract, elevated and artful just like literature.

          Arwen and Aragorn's relationship is very intimate based on the way Tolkien writes it is very clearly different and much more sexual than the childish infatuation the hobbits have with the beautiful Galadriel, there's a sadness and longing and Aragorn is torn up by the fact that he must maintain his virtuous path to eventually be with her. It's a very obvious parallel to Tolkien's Catholic virtues of withholding sex before marriage, and anyone can see the obvious end to that, but he never even casts a hint about it.

          In picrel, another classic long winded high concept book written by a huge autismo Lem never mentions more than a kiss, but the loving way he describes Kelvin's perception of his wife builds a clearly implied sexual tension, and the psychological implications of being faced with the choice of consummating your relationship with a semi-sapient apparition of your dead wife that you drove to suicide are a key part of what makes the book invoke such an emotional response after reading. If we saw penis in vegana or even directly implied it it would lose all its magic.

          Basically sex isn't artful or mysterious - it's a clear act of self satisfaction - the interactions surrounding it are

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >the more detail you go into about sex the less intimate it becomes.
            Not true. I've written romantic but sexually explicit stories between a male human and female dragon, it can be done.

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >cant imagine hobbits having sex
    why not? because they arent attractive to most humans? animals arent attractive to most humans either but they still have sex.

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    this is kind of like that batman writer saying that no one would ever live in gotham city because its a crime ridden shithole

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >looks at los angeles

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        what is los angeles
        what is baltimore
        what is chicago

        Los Angeles isn't even in the top 10 american cities with high crime, you morons

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          t. American being proud of his country being worse than India

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      what is los angeles
      what is baltimore
      what is chicago

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cleveland exists
      People still live in Detroit

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >People still live in Detroit
        >People

  18. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    GRRM sounds like a closet case

  19. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >fat ugly manlet thinks sex is everything

  20. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    He is right in one respect, in wondering where little Hobbits come from, since in all my imaginings Rosie Cotton gets turned out by Big Human wiener

  21. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm a huge admirer of Tolkien...
    >BUUUUUT
    Lazy commie liar.

  22. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it drives us, it motivates us
    >last book came out 11 years ago
    >childless at 70 years old

    It is safe to say that Martin likes to talk about sex, but doesn't have any.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe he's exclusively a back passage man

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe if some of those black girls would frick him he'd finish the book.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Winds of Winter never ever.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe if some of those black girls would frick him he'd finish the book.

      Lol you think with as popular as that show was and as eager as women are to use their pussies to get what they want he didn't get fricked at every convention by moronic bawds looking to find out how it ended?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        No, he didn't because if he did his books would be of higher quality IF HE WROTE ANY.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >get fricked by tons of bawds
          >become rich from the show
          >show ruins the reputation of the series anyway
          It killed his motivation. If he actually still had any wants he'd be writing.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >show ruins the reputation of the series

            Reminder that it was his endings, he just saw that they were shit when they were put on screen.

            >fricked by ton of bawds
            Proofs?

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              >it was his endings
              It was a truncation of his endings using only the characters they decided they weren't cutting out. Remember they cut out zombie Catelyn and Aegon and Victarion entirely along with their entire storylines. Most of the people who hated the end of the show hated that Dany turned into her father and lost, killing their stronk womerns power fantasy.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                You will never convince me that GRRM was moronic enough to have the walker threat be ended by Arya. That was D&D's invention. Whatever GRRM said for the end of that they hated so changed.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. Tolkien's world was incomplete? You know what was complete? THE FRICKING STORY.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      GURM has no kids? Bummer no wonder he lives like a man child

  23. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Modern people have polluted minds.
    There is more to life than sexual intercourse, in fact it is something that should always stay confined to the private sphere and not be spoken about loudly or in public

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      t. Sexually repressed

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ah yes, if somebody isnt as corrupted as you, as obsessed with sex and what not he surely must be "sexually repressed"

        Because pure and innocent things dont exist for you people

  24. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Why didn't Frodo goon on an Orc dildo?

    Gee Wiz idk.

  25. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    sex is low culture, its that simple.
    now theres is nothing wrong with low culture, but lotr is not low culture

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's a time and place for certain things, and high myth fairytale isn't it. It's this weird cringing desire of some to degrade and make baser and more vulgar something. Like yes I get it as an unga-bunga fantasy I'll get off to taking a beautiful and elegant elf and slamfricking her. But that's the porn lizard brain - you turn it off. Constantly wearing your fetishes on your sleeves and thinking horniness is a personality trait should be shamed.

      Above all I just find that lurid desire to desecrate and violate, outside of private erotic fantasies (emphasis on private), disgusting. I am not a fan of harry potter, I never read harry potter or saw any of the films, but I flip out and seethe at one of those British cynical wienersuckers, Ennis or Ellis or some other homosexual, who had the temerity to have a harry potter as a school shooter who also rapes one of his teachers and is an inbred anti-Christ or something. This is not healthy behavior. This is the behavior of people who do those chibi-bean touhou or fricking my little pony fluff-balls and have these saccharine cute creatures experiencing horrifying misery. It's happy tree friends. If you're not a teenager or early 20 year old and you still engage in that kind of behavior you aren't going to be a sadistic murderer, but you are a fricking cretin.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        What about the rape and slaughter depicted in your picture, Warhammer Fantasy? Is that fitting of its place or is that also unnecessary?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          read the first sentance moron

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >sentance

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          nta but beastmen were retcon'd and no longer rape and impregnate women

  26. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why doesn't everyone write about taking a shit?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      because everyone is not from India

  27. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you read LotR it definitely seems like Sam likes Frodo. A lot.
    They toned that down for the movie but in all honesty, people claiming that Sam wanted to frick Frodo aren't that crazy or degenerate. Sure, Tolkien probably didn't intend it this way but if you read these parts you'd definitely thinksSam is an uphill gardener

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >doesn't know what friends are

      Sad

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know about you but I never had a friend's head in my lap and thought about how beautiful he was.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Because you don't have friends.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >platonic relationship of two men who grew up together and have been best frends for decades
      >gay
      youre a woman or autist troony

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          haha, you got me. looks like ive been discredited by your spicy meme.
          you will never be a man would be more accurate, but yea

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Literally imagine believing trannies are real and actually exist. Chuds are so delusional.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >bring up homosexualry where there is none
          >respond with this image when that anon implies you might be a homosexual
          Come on guy. It's not a unreasonable speculation.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're not denying it and you said you saw gay romance in the books.
          He's completely right to imply you're some sort of gay.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          you proved him right by the mere fact that you kept this image saved on your computer to deflect because you've been called out before

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like how this simple post buckbroke the troony into spamming his wojak folder

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I'm so atomized I can't imagine friends who value each other to any serious degree
      >it must be sexual attraction; the only form of human valuation I understand

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      They had a master/servant relationship. Frodo was a rich kid from a wealthy family with an even wealthier childless uncle who chose him as heir. Sam was his gardener. Their relationship is extremely British. They become closer friends because of what they go through together, but their officer/batman style relationship remains in place. Sam's devotion to his master and Frodo's indulgence of his servant looks strange to people unfamiliar with the British class system and romanticism surrounding it, and they process it through their limited experience into buggery as the only way they can conceive of two men behaving in a mutually supportive dynamic. It didn't help that the hollywood movie looked hella suspect, probably because hollywood is full of gays.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I’m not sure how Batman’s relationship with the cops compares exactly but excellent post otherwise.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm glad I'm not the only one who forgot what a British Batman was.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Something about gordon wanting batman to rape the joker

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >but their officer/batman style relationship
        did Alfred correct to officer? cause it's more like batman and alfred than batman and the police

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Sam's devotion to his master and Frodo's indulgence
        Honestly being a willing servant, and a diligent and faithful one too seems like such a cucked concept to me.
        If i ever found myself in subservient position to another man i wouldnt hesitate to proverbially stab him in the back just to regain my standing

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Some people thrive as second in command

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why? What if he's a good leader?
          Sounds like major insecurities to me. Hierarchy isn't cucked. Being bypassed in the hierarchy is.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      You don't know friendship or brotherhood and therefore I pity you.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      t. a woman

  28. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    LOTR literally ends with that hobbit making a hobbit family

    I really hate GOT. Aside from being a huge letdown I feel like it represented a major shift in mid 2010s for people to act like thinking they are some machievelian main character cringe sociopath

  29. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >life is f-full of sex amiright guys?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      imagine the aroma

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Conceptualise the scent.

  30. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    GRRM is moronic. Tolkien literally put stand-ins for himself and his wife with Beren and Luthien, he was just right in also keeping sex a special thing that two people truly in love do in private, instead of a perverse thing that degenerates do whenever their animal brain comes knocking.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >keeping sex a special thing that two people truly in love do in private, instead of a perverse thing that degenerates do whenever their animal brain comes knocking.
      Insanely based
      Its a shame that men like this are gone now and sex has lost all mystery, sanctity and intimacy

  31. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Fought in the WW1 meatgrinder.
    >Married with a pretty wife and children.
    >Wrote and FINISHED one of the greatest books in history.
    Vs childless draft dodger who can't finish his goddamn books.

  32. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tolkien was a devout Catholic and believed in romantic monogamous marriage not degenerate coomerism. They could have had a lot of sex, and old people do have a lot of sex, it was just private.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Russian edition of the LOTR book with flowers is a nice touch. The Russian Tolkien fandom is one of the biggest and most devout.

  33. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    now do one where he says ywnbaw and trannies pull some unrelated 1980s c horror movie title out of their ass as a response while crying
    you know, to show the origins of the chud meme

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >N..nobody even knows what this refers to!!
      >LMAO YOU THINK THIS OFFENDS ANYONE??

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nice basedjak greentext response, but whomst are you quoting?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          the voices in his head

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Seems like an incredibly sad life, being obsessed with some strawman like that. I'd bet that's all he posts here in every thread, every day.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        chud refers to a israeli school shooter, I don't know why the left is being so antisemitic, seems out of character

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I still think it's funny people actually have to wear glasses. Never taught how to focus their eyes lol

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Never taught how to focus their eyes lol
            Wat?

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Imagine how many millions of people get milked for this shit every year. Just learn to focus

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Explain
                I've been wearing glasses since 1st grade and I'm legally blind, help me

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                There are men who are also legally women, doesn't make it true. Spend a few days working your eyes out the same way you'd exercise any muscle

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Cinemaphile me up bro, give me some exercises

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Your eyes have been laying in bed since first grade, just walk around with them. You're the one who has to wear those funny things

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Walking around without glasses just means I can't see anything. What's the exercise?

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Walk around with your eyes you silly nerd. It's not my fault your parents never taught you how to focus. It's like parents who substitute parenting with ADD meds

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Your inability to give me a straight answer is leading me to sadly suspect that you don't actually have one.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Your inability to use your eyes properly is leading me to believe you're a four eyes silly billy

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Walking around without my glasses strengthens other senses, not my eyes. It's helped me not by making me see better, but by teaching me to listen and smell and touch better.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                That would have been the case if you didn't use glasses as a crutch. Now you're like someone addicted to mood stabilizers

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Exactly my brother, the first step

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Legally I'm not allowed to drive without them.
                And it's nice being able to see the people I encounter on the street, instead of vague shapes.

  34. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I doubt this fat frick has ever had sex in his life

  35. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Nice basedjak greentext response, but whomst are you quoting?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      imagine not being an incel chud in the current year

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine thinking mutant sewer zombies from some 80's film actually exist, and trying to use that as a comeback because you're raging about your feelings getting hurt.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          chud is just how the trannies call normies

  36. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    grrm talking about an incomplete world is fricking hilarious when he'll never complete his own

  37. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because Tolkien had sex unlike Gurmm

  38. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tolkien didn’t write about hobbits shitting either, thankfully gm surpassed him by making a realistic world. Whatever would we do without being able to read about fricking and shitting in our fantasy literature.

  39. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >imagine not being an incel chud in the current year

  40. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >autistically detailed family trees tell us that LOTR is written by Sam's grandkids
    >"I can't imagine hobbits having sex!"
    sounds like a skill issue tbqhwy

  41. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    The definitive and correct version of this meme should have the same face on the guy holding the picture

  42. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >this is literally happening as we speak as the chudcord defense force is swarming this thread coping and seething at being called chuds
    Don't you homosexuals ever get tired of being played like fiddles?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >haha I acted moronic and people called me a moron, I win, played you all like fiddles
      When will people stop being this fricking stupid

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        The only ones acting moronic in this thread are the chuds taking the low-effort bait

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >haha I acted moronic and people called me a moron, I win, played you all like fiddles

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Whatever moron, keep seething because someone called you a name you don't like. If it triggers you this bad go back to your safespace

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              >troony spazzes out and starts spamming over one post implying he's a troony
              >haha stop falling for the bait you guys are morons

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Trying to flip you opponents' rhetoric around and use it on them instead of having it used on you will never work by the way, it just makes it crystal clear to everyone that you're coping and can't come up with a single thing by yourself.

  43. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    what was the shire's tax policy?

  44. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Why didn’t Tolkien ever respond to this?
    He did even though he was dead. His work is the only response that needs to be made to someone as untalented as grrm.

  45. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Can't imagine Hobbits having sex
    Totally disagree there. Elves, maybe. But everything about Hobbit culture implies they frick like bunnies.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thing is GRRM wanted Tolkien to write graphically detailed smut about hobbits having babymaking sex.

  46. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tolkien didn't respond to this, he listened to what GRRM had to say, and that's what nobody did.

  47. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    where r the orc women?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      southeast morder, by the lake where the farmland is

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      there are no orc women and orcs simply spring from holes in the ground

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        then how did Azog have a son

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          he's adopted

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          He fricked a hole in the ground.

  48. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >and he would go on to spend the rest of that day coping, seething, and spamming, over that one post that called him a troony

  49. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ill just ask here. I only seen the movies but whats up with Aragon flirting with the redgead when he still is technically in a relationship with the elf girl. Also why does the movie treat it as a good thing? It sticks out so much in the film.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      She's flirting with him, he shoots her down
      He's as old as her grandfather and is never interested in the books or films. He views her as a child.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        He doesn't, he flirts with her back and treats her romantically. I watched it with a group and everyone noticed and thought it was weird. The movie clearly treats it as a romance arc.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          No, he tries to be polite, because she hadn't outright stated her interest and was basically just flirting around with him awkwardly. When she does he shoots her down.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Anon there's romantic mysic every time she they talk, they make eyes to each other. The movie treats it as a romance.

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              >The movie treats it as a romance.
              Because from her perspective it is. She really thinks he's into her and it's love. But it isn't for him at all. He's just too chivalrous to be a dick to her about it and hurt her feelings.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                I think younguys are coping, Jackson simply messed up by portraying it as a romance for some reason.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's just how it's portrayed in the books without the benefit of Aragorn's internal dialogue, which makes it clear he's not interested or going to be.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Anon there's romantic mysic every time she they talk, they make eyes to each other. The movie treats it as a romance.

                He doesn't, he flirts with her back and treats her romantically. I watched it with a group and everyone noticed and thought it was weird. The movie clearly treats it as a romance arc.

                There's supposed to be some romantic tension between them (at least from her end, since he's a handsome king) but he never acts on it and has no intention to. Real life is like that some times. Not that you would know, I guess.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                >real life is like that
                LOTR is not some realism or postmodernist tale on the genre. It simply feels out of place because Aragon is supposed to not do something like that, he goes from noble king to be, to emotionally cheating weirdo.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                A girl having a crush on you isn't emotional cheating. If anything, the fact that he doesn't act on it at all shows just how committed he is to Arwen

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Aragon is supposed to not do something like that, he goes from noble king to be, to emotionally cheating
                >Aragon
                >emotionally cheating
                Reddit speak.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                Name one line of dialogue, one action of Aragon in the films (extended or theatrical cut) that's him expressing romantic interest or being flirtatious. He is polite, courteous and chivalrous but not once does he express an interest in pursuing a relationship with Eowyn.
                Go on, just one example.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            This.

            >The movie treats it as a romance.
            Because from her perspective it is. She really thinks he's into her and it's love. But it isn't for him at all. He's just too chivalrous to be a dick to her about it and hurt her feelings.

            and this.

            I think younguys are coping, Jackson simply messed up by portraying it as a romance for some reason.

            It only existed in Eowyn’s and your fiends’ heads.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Aragon flirting with the redgead
      Aragorn wasn't flirting with blonde Eowyn in the books and movies, he hugged her when he came back from being considered dead after a skirmish with the Orcs.
      It's one of the Jackson's mistakes - he showed it like they had some feelings for each other while in the books Aragorn was immediately worried when Eowyn fell in love at first sight with him. He politely rejected Eowyn and she became the Shieldmaiden of Rohan because of her broken heart. Aragorn always loved Arwen.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I dunno what the frick you're on but it was pretty clear that Aragorn was dismissive towards her and being polite, his heart was set on Arwen.

  50. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    George R.R. Martin is a weird perverted hack who wrote ASOIAF to force all of his disgusting fantasies on the rest of us and he should be discarded posthaste

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      many such cases

  51. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ah yes, on the book he wrote for all ages including kids he should had put multiple scenes of orcs in brothels

  52. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    “Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew.”
    ― George Rape.Rape. Martin

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I always though Sunset was a person

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Drogo and Dany called each other the moon and the sun so I guess it works.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Me too

    • 11 months ago
      Anomalous

      I always though Sunset was a person

      https://vocaroo.com/1c8JjTuXYO6s

  53. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    He couldn't think of a response without sounding mad.

  54. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    all this homosexuals carreer was a moron attempt to "improve" tolkiens work with modern sensibilities, it all feels so empty and pointless at the end of the day

  55. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just watched The Two Towers last week, why didn't they use the eagle things from the first movie to get closer to Mordor.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Its a plot hole but no one wants to admit it.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >get closer
      Just give the ring to an eagle
      >if you drop this thing in that big fricking volcano over there ill buy you a salmon

  56. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    We we need 10 pages of describing hobbit sex and penis shapes? Or can things just be implied?

  57. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Umm BUT EHADANOU SEXMSEX COOM COOM SEX COOM

    can you imagine this hideous blob of fat having sex? Even in his """prime"""?
    One talks about what he misses the most

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >One talks about what he misses the most
      Suddenly all the troony spam about chuds makes sense.

  58. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >What is Aragorn’s tax code
    >When is the standard hobbit frick party scheduled?
    >Where is the secret prostitute dungeon in the Prancing Pony?
    Grrm asking the important questions.

  59. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >BUT WH-WHAT ABOUT THE SEX, THE HOBBIT SEX???
    GRRM sounds like a tumbler user, what a moronic homosexual

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think he just wanted to see cute hobbit girls getting railed, his passive aggressive argument is pretty lame tho.

  60. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    incomplete world oh the irony!

  61. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/yy1v7o1.jpg

      Why didn’t Tolkien ever respond to this?

      Chad Tolkien vs. Virgin Martin

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      A true chad. This was exactly Tarkovsky's perspective too.

  62. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is why I'm re-writing the Lord of the Rings as a fan edit to make it more modern and with the times. Things I've changed/ added
    >40 page long orgy when they're in Lothlorian with the elves
    >Gandalf comes back as Gandalf the Black, dabs over Saruman at Isengard in Two Towers
    >Got rid of all the boring songs and background lore, replaced with cool descriptions and stories of the heroes killing orcs in badass ways
    >Merry and Pippin are women and have a lesbian relationship
    >Gimili and Legolas die at Helm's Deep, need to keep the readers on their toes because people die in war

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hi, i'm from Netflix and want to buy your script for forty billion shekels I mean dollars

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Let's face it, it's still better than the Ring of Power

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >You're hired!
      >t. Hollywood.

  63. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    typical Hebrew pervert mentality

  64. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Read the Hobbit in 6th grade, LotR in 8th. Loved Tolkien. Hated the movies.

    Never heard of the fat moron with the weird hat until HBO made them into a film. Watched one episode, thought it was shit and never watched any others.

    My gut instinct is always proven right.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I thought the show was overrated back when it first released, lots of people in my class would constantly compare it to LOTR and shit on Tolkien cause they liked being edgy or some shit.

  65. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    he predicted GRRM and refuted him 60 years before that fat frick put pen to paper

  66. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Cinemaphile - Television & Film

  67. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do his criticisms of Tolkien get increasingly dumber?
    >wh-what about aragorns tax policy!!
    How is that in ANYWAY relevant to the story?
    >what about muh hobbits having sex!!!
    Again, how is that at ALL relevant to the story? Did he just expect for two hobbits to plow each other in the room nearby while Aragorn talks about his tax policy?
    >Aragorn was said to become a wise king and it’s not like that in the real world!! what about his policy on orc genocide!!!
    The story’s DONE. It’s over with. It’s hardly relevant anymore. That’s why Tolkien ended it by saying Aragorn ruled wisely.
    >>TL;DR frick this dude

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Why do his criticisms of Tolkien get increasingly dumber?
      because they aren't criticism they are answers to questions interviewers ask him about ASOIAF vs LOTR and then those quotes get regurgitated online to create seethe

  68. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only good book GRRM ever wrote was Meathouse Man, rest of it is pretentious reddit slop

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      qrd?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Incel man is working low prestige job in sci fi future. His job is basically is controlling the dead to do manual labor, he is also very good at it. Tries to find love in the world but is shunned by all women eventually. In the end decides to embrace his profession and engages is undead gladiator fights winning and becoming semi famous. He also abandons 3d roasties and goes to corpse brothels instead where others like him control the bodies of corpses for others to frick

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          That sounds disgusting. Only a israelite could come up with such a twisted idea.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Dunno i liked it because it was so edgy yet so relatable. At first sight the story seems disgusting and edgy without any reason but really its just a parallel to modern world

  69. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    is epic pooh good?

  70. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    where does George Rape Rape Martin think all of Samwise's children came from?

  71. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >modern literature
      >I must coom, consume and troon

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          The lotr movies were gay, superheroes are gay, george Martin is gay, his books are gay, the HBO show was gay

          Tolkien is a God and will be remembered for hundreds of years

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Adulthood is realizing that in real world there is no "gray morality" and good and evil exist and are real

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Adulthood manchild ethos is realizing that in real world there is no "gray morality" and good and evil exist and are real

        weird flex but ok

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Look mom!
      >I made a meme where the postmodern normieslop is actually the tough Chad and the good stuff is actually a weak and effeminate wojack!

      That's great honey, you're very special, I'm sure you'll get lots of (You)s

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Complex Characters
      >Looks at Bran.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >childhood: there's clear good and evil
      >teenagehood: everything is morally grey
      >adulthood: there's clear good and evil
      Tolkien wrote for children (The Hobbit) and for adults (LOTR). Martin writes (or rather "wrote", he'll never finish this shit) for teenagers

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >adulthood: there's clear good and evil

        only if you´re manchild who consumes capeshit 24/7

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Go drive your sister to her 28th abortion.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I don't like capeshit. Posting a wikipedia screenshot is absolutely embarassing and there is no intelligent point made in it. Good and evil obviously do exist and you can't act without this assumption. When people burn your house and murder your family, that is evil. When someone helps douse the flames, bury the corpses and gives you food and shelter after the disaster, that is good. Only cowards and children yet to grow up and mature don't assume the essence of good and evil in the ways people act.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Good and evil obviously do exist and you can't act without this assumption

            angloid mentality, the same mentality that leads to Black person worshipping and the spread of sjw ideology across the entire planet

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        this meme has never been correct, denethor, boromir, galadriel, eowyn, etc. are great examples of morally grey characters.
        the difference is that tolkien treats the evil in men as a tragic flaw, that they have to either overcome or be overcome by, while martin treats it as a necessary part of life in a hostile world. there's a certain kind of contemptible person who's intimidated rather than inspired by tolkien's view, and comforted rather than disgusted by martin's.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          The anon here who defends "good and evil." What I mean is that good and evil exist as concepts, not that every person is 100% good or 100% evil. There's some good and some evil in everyone. But there's no evil in good and no good in evil. That's how Tolkien saw it.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            yeah, that's basically right and one sense in which tolkien's view really is close to black and white.
            >But there's no evil in good and no good in evil.
            the one exception is that divine providence can work good even out of evil, hence gollum being the reason the ring gets destroyed in the end.

  72. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Life is very full of sex, or should be.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He 128% fricked passed-out girls at college parties.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      REALLY TOLKIEN? REALLY?????

  73. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I regret reading Martin's works.

  74. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  75. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lord of the Rings: Be appreciative of what you have because you don't know when a great war will take it all away.

    A Song of Ice & Fire: Psst! That Noble Knight over there fricks his sister!

  76. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I feel like Martin gets a bad rap on this issue, if only because Phillip Pullman somehow gets a pass despite being infinitely more obnoxious in this regard (has outright called both LOTR and Narnia shit and attacked the character of the authors while writing pure slop that makes Martin's work look like gold).

  77. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    do tolkien homosexuals really??? lmao

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Muh money
      You are just proving everybody how morally deficient you are

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Look mom!
        >I made a meme where the postmodern normieslop is actually the tough Chad and the good stuff is actually a weak and effeminate wojack!

        That's great honey, you're very special, I'm sure you'll get lots of (You)s

        tolkien was an old homosexual who didn't know how to write, he had to make fantasy (cape)shit in order to get popular

        now the same fantasy (cape)shit culture is dragging his stupid works and remaking it for the 21st century, it's kinda poetic in a way

        what's the difference between 50s fantasy shit with 21st century fantasy shit? more diversity of course

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Tolkien didn't know how to write
          >Practically defined the fantasy genre and his work is the measuring stick everything else is measured against.
          Hmmmmmmm

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            defined the fantasy genre and his work is the measuring stick everything else is measured against.

            lol

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Assmad zoomer thinks his diarrhea & taxes is le deep.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >what's the difference between 50s fantasy shit with 21st century fantasy shit

          Idk probably the fact that Tolkien invented the genre you're referring to as "fantasy", a name that came into use as a way to categorize the tens of thousands of swords and sorcerer shelf-filler paperbacks that poorly aped his style and setting

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Idk probably the fact that Tolkien invented the genre you're referring to as "fantasy
            see this

            defined the fantasy genre and his work is the measuring stick everything else is measured against.

            lol

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              Congrats on being too moronic to read. Fantasy as a concept didn't exist until Tolkien. You just looked up fantasy author on Google and picked the first one you found you dweeby ass wikipedia ass gettin no pussy ass unable to read past a 5th grade level ass homie.

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                seems you're the illiterate one

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous

                You haven't read any of these authors because you're a posturing bait posting contrarian moron. This is like calling the legend of King Arthur or the Mabinogion a "fantasy story". The use of the word fantasy as a popular term for a genre didn't even come about till after Tolkien. Learn to read you dumb Black person

              • 11 months ago
                Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tolkein is clearly worth more than that; didn't Jeff Bezos pay a half a billion dollars just for the video rights to the Silmarillion alone?

      Also I know suspiciously wealthy fangirls would pay good money for Tolkien's porno film.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Also I know suspiciously wealthy fangirls would pay good money for Tolkien's porno film.

        yeah, it's called Rings of Power

  78. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >As much as I admire Tolkien - and I do

  79. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >can't imagine hobbits having sex
    there are a lot of round ruddy-cheeked bongs who look and act just like hobbits and they all have a frickton of children
    plus the first thing sam did after the war was marry a sexy bar wench and get her squirting out kids
    grrm is a fricking idiot

  80. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >you've got an incomplete world
    JRR finished his fricking book series so his world is a lot more complete

  81. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's a based boomer, and I wish there were more like him.

  82. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    But what was King Bran the Cripple's tax policy?

  83. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tolkien finished his books while teaching full-time & raising 4 kids.

  84. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >just because you don't read a 2 page description of Aragorn fricking Arwen doggy style it means they don't have sex at all!

  85. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't give a frick who invented what. That's not an argument. Tolkien wrote great stuff, and fat man in a strange hat doesn't and that's the end of it.

  86. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can have Tolkien's rebuttal in an interview from the BBC:

    >"You are a childless spinster, kek"
    Also, Tolkien had a successful, life-long marriage with 4 children.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Timestamp is 17:20 minutes in.
      Links don't work right on this site anymore.

  87. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Leave it out, and you've got an incomplete world.
    You know what else makes a world incomplete? Abandoning your series halfway through

  88. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    The joke is that he's short.

  89. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I thought lotr was rather explicit w/ sam smashing the frick out of that lady hobbit at the party
    didn't they have a dozen kids or something in a later scene

  90. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's true but there is also more to life than sex. just look at Cinemaphile today, it used to be that /b/ was really the only porn board. now you pretty much have to post a woman to get any replies in on any board. too much of a thing is a bad thing.

  91. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    How much sex can a round ball really have
    WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW grrm

  92. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sex isnt a big part of life past 25, it just is. Just like taking a shit and eating a burger. It's interesting how GRRM focuses on sex and not on every other mundane part of existence like work, taking a shit, eating and so on.

    I dont think writers should even focus this much on either because the only result, if done well is that you've made your reader ether horny or hungry and wanting to put down your book to have a wank or make themselves a meal.

    And how a person fricks tells me very little about them unless there's some deeper, comprehensive character study going, in which most writers are incapable of making a sex scene anything but superfluous fluff to seem more mature. While it's arguably very juvenile.

    I dont need to know how Aragorn likes his dick sucked or if he shakes his dick 3 times after pissing to figure out if he's a noble person or not.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man uses sex as one of the most important themes and narrative devices and it still doesn't feature a 2 page long bestiality rape scene. George can't convey any idea he has with brevity or nuance and ends up writing porn because of this personal failing. Instead of acknowledging this shortcoming he lashes out at writers better than him.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      See, I can tell you've never read anything written by George, because there's about as much shitting in his writing as there is sex, and a lot more food

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Sex isnt a big part of life past 25, it just is. Just like taking a shit and eating a burger. It's interesting how GRRM focuses on sex and not on every other mundane part of existence like work, taking a shit, eating and so on.

      WTF are you talking about? The fat man LOVES writing about food.

  93. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >LE SEX AND LE CUM AND LE breasts HAVE TO BE PRESENT IN EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF LIFE

  94. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is that fat pervert ever going to finish his books?

  95. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    GRRM is the eternal LARPer who overcompensates for having no experience by hyper-fixating on those things he's inexperienced with in his writing. Tolkien is the Chad experienced man who moderates his disclosure of that experience.

    >GRRM
    >virgin with no kids
    >includes graphic hardcore sex content in his books

    >Tolkien
    >gigantic family and wife he loved and wrote romance stories about
    >keeps sex implicit, no need to fixate on something that's not relevant to the greater story or adventure, assumes it's something everyone does and so no point making it a big deal or focusing on it

    >GRRM
    >never seen a day of combat in his life
    >fixates on graphic horrific violence and war constantly in his writing trying to make things as brutal as possible

    >Tolkien
    >was literally in the most horrific human conflict ever in history, was at the battle of the Sommes, saw direct combat and his friends being ground into the muddy fields of France in front of him never to return
    >keeps battles tasteful and not gory, uses just enough violence to punctuate the action and scenes where appropriate

  96. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only George RR Martin thought about hobbit sex tbh.

    Except for me and Sam's Rosie.

    But seriously even if he WERE alive he never would need to respond to the likes of someone who wrote drivel like this.

    "Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water."

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