why do we like boat movies so much bros?

why do we like boat movies so much bros?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because 70% of this board has actual autism and autists obsess over transport

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      robots can't have autism

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I have level 2 ( moderate ) autism

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      then why don't we obsess over train movies?
      I haven't seen a Silver Streak or Horror Express thread in forever

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Because there aren't as many of them. Boats are a promise of adventure. You know exactly where a train is going to go.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          So it's not about transport, it's about adventure.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They're not nearly as common. Would you count Hell on Wheels as a train series?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Hell On Wheels was oddly forgettable for having such a clear-cut "life in a railway camp" premise. All I really remember is this scene and an angry black guy. Deadwood has way more memorable stuff despite its premise having been done so many times before.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >autists obsess over transport
      Don't get me wrong, I find gigantic cargo ships incredibly impressive from an engineering standpoint, but it's a completely different feeling when it comes to old wooden sail ships.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    natural male desire for exploration
    same reason why people like star trek

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Boats are kino because when you're on the water, away from land, you feel an a profound and fearsome sense of autonomy and agency. And you know you could die at any moment because fricked up shit happens off-shore. It's frickin' great.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      boats are kino
      also
      if you haven't at some point had the desire to see famous landmarks around the world, take a cruise and view a foreign biome, or travel through the backwoods of some eastern european shithole in search of an urban legend, you're not only not a man, you're just a plain old homosexual and need to be removed from the gene pool.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >wtf in the sigma
        Settle down sport.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Actually people like Star Trek because everyone is insanely professional and reasonable 99% of the time, which makes all the whacky sci-fi aspects somehow seem believable too.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      "It began long before us, we who now live our perfect and dull, endless lives. It began long before these moon-palaces and body-markets hurling around our golden sun. It began long before our light-coil thinkers, our radiation wars, our oil, smoke. It began with us. The continuity and its twin, wanderlust. The need for unseen shores deep in our marrow. No judge, jester, queen, or king can escape this old blood. We are nomads, eternal. And when no ocean, mountain, or sky could contain us... our gaze hungered star-ward. Afar, they mocked us with their brittle light. Winking and jeering like dangling Ayatans, forever out of reach, illuminating the truth: immortal as we are - we die with the sun. That's where I come in."

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >natural male desire
      It seems to be mostly Europeans. Africa didn't really push out and seek to develop ships, and neither did Japan push far outside their immediate region.

      age of sail was a wild ride
      spain raped an entire race into existence

      the rickety sound of wood and rope is so fricking kino. I'm going to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies again right now.

      >There was a time before our time,
      >It will not come again,
      >When the best ships still were wooden ships
      >But the men were iron men.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Most people still incorrectly shit on water world.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'll never shit on a movie with Dennis Hopper in it. He can make anything watchable.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ships like that are literally and figuratively the perfect vessel for stories of action, adventure, death, survival, commraderie, faith, exploration, courage, cowardice, nationalism, lawlessness, etc etc. Sailing in the old days brought out the absolute best and worst in us because it was inherently dangerous (storms, piracy, mechanical malfunctions, disease), so its fitting that it would make for great story telling. Also there's hardly any women in old boatkinos so the stories arent about shit like romantic entanglements n shit.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Notice that the greatest kinos are always about man vs nature, redemption, or comraderie, any movie with women heightens the chance of it being worst. I like women in movies when I watch flicks, when I watch kinos it's mostly male stories.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're not wrong. Even B movies with those elements can be enjoyable.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    wish there were more

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    age of sail was a wild ride
    spain raped an entire race into existence

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    cause they sometimes play criggy

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    We belong to the sea,
    to the waves you and me.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's a great setting for a crust story

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      frick you for reminding me of how crusty Black Sails got

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        [...]
        haven't watched it
        let me guess lots of women writers who think men can't be friends and love each other without bumming each other

        It's barely crusty at all, these people are exaggerating.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Maybe they're confused with Our Flag Means Death

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Now that one definitely got rather crusty.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      frick you for reminding me of how crusty Black Sails got

      haven't watched it
      let me guess lots of women writers who think men can't be friends and love each other without bumming each other

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        basically yeah. season 1 was starting off the show to be an amazing pirate kino then season 2 introduced a crust arc out of absolutely nowhere. instead of being crust busters the two characters in question could have easily been best friends who shared a lofty ideological goal but for whatever reason the writers decided to make them homos instead. it's a shame because there is some serious wench kino in black sails, it could have been one of the greatest shows of all time.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Not quite. It had an amazing, great first season and then they pull a fast one by lightly crustifying the badass main character. Nothing too crazy but enough that it made me want to roll my eyes over how writers/producers seem incapable of not forcing some lgbt angle into everything.

          >crust this crust that
          Oh no is this a thing now lmao

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >now
            found the tourist

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >implying I'm not here every day
              >implying everyone is talking about crust busting all over the chins
              Cringe af

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you're clearly new or you wouldn't be phased by the use of crust. nice try, tourist.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              As someone who is heterosexual (not a zoomer) I'm going to need you to explain this crust meme to me

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i can't, you're already too crusty

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Not quite. It had an amazing, great first season and then they pull a fast one by lightly crustifying the badass main character. Nothing too crazy but enough that it made me want to roll my eyes over how writers/producers seem incapable of not forcing some lgbt angle into everything.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          it's a core element to his entire character at least. it's not like he's going around fricking tons of guys. he doesn't even express interest in anyone. there's plenty to criticize black sails for but he was the best character on the show and it wasn't close.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >t. crust aficianado

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was a light layer of crust, but it was there. Once you go crustin', you'll never stop bustin'

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I gave up Black Sails like 3 episodes into season 2. They killed off too many good characters and changed actors too much. Did the Captain and John become crust brothers together?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Did the Captain and John become crust brothers together?
        no, he was busting the crust of some wealthy nobleman back in england. people found out they were crust brothers so the captain's boyfriend got disappeared by his father for the shame that was brought on their family. the captain hated england ever since and became a pirate to wage war on the english empire and their anti-crust policies. i am not joking.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I thought he was just his assistant! They became crust-brothers? GROSS! No wonder his father had him killed. That storyline was so boring, it was part of the reason I stopped watching.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Literal crusty butt pirates? What will they think of next?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      frick you for reminding me of how crusty Black Sails got

      [...]
      haven't watched it
      let me guess lots of women writers who think men can't be friends and love each other without bumming each other

      It was a light layer of crust, but it was there. Once you go crustin', you'll never stop bustin'

      I like how crust has become the dirty euphemism for homosexualry in films.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Did they even talk about crust in the last of us homosexual episode or is that a thing the poster made up?

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the rickety sound of wood and rope is so fricking kino. I'm going to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies again right now.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah good call. The ambience is top notch. I think that's why Morrowind starts in a boat. Skyrim starts in a creaking wagon for the same reason.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I've unironically never watched a boat movie but I played Return of the Obra Dinn and it was pretty good. I recommend it.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    THREE MEN'S ALL THEY WERE
    THREE MEN OUT AT SEA
    THREE MEN CAME ABOARD MY SHIP
    AND TOOK MY TRUE LOVE FROM ME

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just love em
    simple as

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because men used to adventure and get into some crazy shit. We aren't allowed to do that much anymore, not like how it used to be

    ?si=m0oMNR4xTCRryjcw

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I'm not allloooowwweeeed

      Cringe. Pack a tent and gear and go camping up a mountain alone. Nobody will stop you. It's real life kino and will help you break out of this womanly social warrior cringe mentality talking about what you're allowed to do lmao eww bruh

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >We aren't allowed to do that much anymore
      nobody other then your self is stopping you from doing it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Literally no one's stopping you, bro. This could be you, instead of watching music videos of some shitty metal song accompanied by clips from Disney movies.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My grandpa used to be a sailor and taught me how to sail. The whole family used to go on sailing trips with him.
    Boat movies remind me of when things were better and he was still around.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I lived on a sail boat as a young boy that my crazy father built. My earliest memory is him telling at my mom and brother to turn the winches faster while tacking. It was called The Messiah and he still has the blue prints. What a psycho.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That sounds exciting, anon. Tell us more. What ages did you live on the boat between? Where was your homeport? Where did you travel to?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Florida on the Atlantic. Home Port was in the St. John's River, but we would go up and down the state coast. I was on it from about 0-5. Hard to remember a lot, I'm almost 40 now. It was hot, at least being small it made the boat feel big. I think our main mast was about 60+ feet. My mom is like "wtf were we thinking living on that thing with babies."

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I still don’t understand how boats like this don’t roll over and capsize with a cross wind

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they put as much heavy shit as they can down below

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they have keels

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because that energy is converted by the sail into thrust, pushing the boat forward rather than toppling it over.

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Love boats.

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Boats.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Only white men like boat movies. That's how you know it's kino.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maritime general on /n/ changed my life. I make a six figure salary working half the year roleplaying as a Star Trek character.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I make a six figure salary working half the year roleplaying as a Star Trek character.
      qrd

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I work on deep sea vessels as a second mate. After a few years I’ve gotten comfortable enough navigating through Mexicans and Indians to the point where I can just enjoy myself when I’m on the bridge, and have learned to multitask. I pretend foreigners are star trek aliens and sometimes I go out of my way to call them on the radio and make passing arrangements

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          oh that's pretty based. also that bacon beast you have there looks delicious.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I pretend foreigners are star trek aliens and sometimes I go out of my way to call them on the radio and make passing arrangements
          based autism. best of luck avoiding any ferengi on your ship.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >any ferengi on your ship
            The Ferengi own the ships.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I pretend foreigners are star trek aliens
          Stealing this autism.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because you're a sodomite who wishes to be on a boat with men

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not only exploration but also being in a small group of like minded men stuck together with a common task and purpose. It's like generation kill where they were on HMMWVs instead of a ship.

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's the professionalism and calm under unpredictable conditions that really puts a man to the test.

    If you haven't heard the Estonia mayday call when they sank and almost 900 people died this is what really makes BOATS! such a great and manly theme

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no women

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I need some new boat kino. What I've seen so far:

    The North Water
    The Terror (S1)
    The Bounty
    Black Sails
    Master and Commander

    Are the Horatio Hornblower movies good? They are kind of hard to find online.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Have you seen To the Ends of the Earth? I liked that one

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      never seen the movies, but the 1998-2003 TV show is good
      its very sharpe-esque

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      if sailing gives you a chub, try some of the old sinbad movies, or early pirate kino like captain blood.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Deadliest Catch is good for when you don't feel like a whole movie or complex plot just wanna spend some time on the water. Time at the helm, time on deck, time at the docks. It's got it all.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        the coast guard rescue episodes are some of the greatest television I've ever seen. and that's with the show already being 9/10

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I was in the Coast Guard. Maybe that's part of the reason I like boatkino so much. It was cool, but not quite as exciting as TV shows like Deadliest Catch make it seem. I was on a ship that went on patrols down in the Caribbean and South America looking for drugs and illegal immigrants. No badass rescues.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A lot of the Hornblower movies are on youtube, they're pretty good

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Blocked in the USA. Thanks anyway, anon.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Add “pi” after YouTube and just down the thing

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I've been shilling Hornblower for an age.
      It's swashbuckling!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Hornblower movies are all on YouTube. Highly recommend.

      >You're close-hauled on the port tack, beating up the channel with a north-easterly wind blowing strong, with Dover bearing north two miles. The wind veers four points, taking you flat aback. What do you do?

      If you can't answer this scenario question within ten seconds, you fail your Lieutenant exam, Midshipman.

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why won't they make a live action treasure planet bros? Imagine the original pirates team producing that Kino.

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Frick it, here's the full video.

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Official Cinemaphile Boatkino

    >Master and Commander
    >Hornblower
    >Treasure Island (1990)
    >Pirates of the Caribbean
    >In the Heart of the Sea
    >Titanic
    >The Hunt for Red October
    >K-19 The Widowmaker

    What am I missing bros?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      muppet treasure island but that's just for my personal taste
      also you forgot das boot
      i'd also like to argue in favor of the original king kong. while i liked the jackson remake it did focus more on the romance than it needed to, whereas the original 1933 flick kept a delicate balance of romance, exotic sets and top-notch special effects.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Watching the terror Rn, artic exploration Kino, light dusting of fictitious supernatural stuff but mostly man v their environment.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >light dusting of fictitious supernatural stuff
        Then don't finish the show, else you'll be disappointed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      das boot

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Bounty

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Star Trek
      Star Trek: TNG

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      African queen

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      All is Lost

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      U-571

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no women in it

      U-571

      gaygits

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wanna see the boat movie.

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I take a boat to work everyday and it's awesome. This morning pic rel was anchored outside the dock because of high winds. Was not expecting to have two awesome boat experiences today.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      do you ever find yourself looking at the crew and wishing you were one of them?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        there actually a few cute girls on the crew.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Quantum of the Seas
      that doesn't make sense.

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Everyone who likes movies should watch this clip. You have done a great service posting it.

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Any good boatkino made within the last decade?

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm in it for the environmental suffering. Man vs nature and it's hilariously one-sided.

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What do they eat?

  35. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wanna see the boat movie.

  36. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I WANNA SEE DA BOAT MOVIE

  37. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Moby Dick with Gregory Peck as Ahab is a very underrated film. You all should watch it before the normalgays discover it

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