Why is Superman friends with a guy who's constantly thinking up ways to murder him?
Why is Superman friends with a guy who's constantly thinking up ways to murder him?
Why is Superman friends with a guy who's constantly thinking up ways to murder him?
he's not
I can list more than 50 ways Batman has thought up to kill or maim superman before
1. Use green kryptonite ring
2. Create strand of red kryptonite that turns his skin transparent and overloads on solar
3. Create strand of red kryptonite that puts him into coma
4. Kryptonite gum
5. False kryptonite tooth that spits kryptonite dust
6. Gold kryptonite that permanently deletes his powers
7. Yellow kryptonite
8. Blue kryptonite
9. Silver Kryptonite
10. Black Kryptonite
11. Periwinkle Kryptonite (Kryptonite Gauntlet)
12. Dispersed Kryptonite Gas
13. Doomsday Virus
14. Kryptonite Tank
15. Boobytrapped Fortress of Solitude
16. Fenrir Suit
17. Hellbat Suit
18. Final Batsuit
19. Red Solar Lasers
20. Shrunken Red Suns
21. Magic weapons
22. Kryptonite boxing gloves
23. Kryptonite batarangs
24. Turning the sun red
25. Kryptonite Lightning
26. Mindrape with Joker Toxin
27. “Kryptamite” torpedos
28. Suit superman cannot detect
29. Kryptonite satellite EMPs
30. Kryptonite lining inside batsuit
31. Red Solar Core Generator
32. Hypothalamus Inhibitor
33. Exploding kryptonite arrow
34. Hypersonics
35. Lead-backed mirror that reflects heat vision
36. Failsafe
37. Kryptonite Prison Cell
38. Kryptonite Chains
39. Kryptonite Sword
40. Kryptonite Spear
41. Kyrptonite Knife
42. Kryptonite Laser
43. Nuclear Bomb
44. Jarro
45. Nanite Mindcontrol
46. Becoming Batmanhattan
47. Harnessing Crisis Energy
48. Anti Life Equation
49. Stealing Darkseid’s Powers
50. Kryptonite Bullet
A lot of those just look like kryptonite with extra steps
Now do 200 ways Superman can main or kill Batman
1. firing a gun at The Joker so that Bruce jumps in the way
2. He can rape him
Not with the Kryptonite ballgag and butt plug. Prep time, bitch!
>Stealing Darkseid’s Powers
This is the only one that sticks out to me. What happened here?
One of the Dark Multiverse timelines. An evil Batman killed Darkseid and stole his powers, then used them to beat up Superman until the moon was broken and he was enslaved.
I meant they're not friends. Superman is pretending, he's an alien who cannot truly grasp human emotions.
You have no friends.
mental illnessu
>Batman is pretending, he's an alien who cannot truly grasp human emotions.
ftfy
It’s probably kinda exciting when you’re the most unkillable guy on earth
Like the only guy that could kill you is your partner instead of your enemy. I’d feel mega confident with that
better question is why supes is friends with a guy who constantly breaks the law as s vigilante and a woman who has no problem snapping necks
Vigilante, Noun
A member of a self-appointed group of citizens or person who undertakes law enforcement in their community without legal authority, typically because the legal agencies are thought to be inadequate.
Sounds to me like superman is also breaking the law and is a vigilante, Is he not ?
And as to the reason why their friends.
Superman
>Has a secret identity,
>Beats up bad guys
>Doesn't like to kill
>Likes to wears tight spandex costumes
Batman
>Has a secret identity,
>Beats up bad guys
>Doesn't like to kill
>Likes wearing tight spandex costumes
Seems like their friends cuz they like a lot of the same shit ?
I don’t know and I don’t care. Superman is fucking hot, and I like to see him and Bruce fuck each other in fujo art.
i'm not even gay and i agree
Superman did give him kryptonite just in case.
superman trusts batman with kryptonite as a fail safe in case he needs to do it
but in most stories where the league learns batman is planning ways to defeat them, the team is always understandably pissed at the breach of trust
whether they just take in stride and move on or are actually livid at him depends on the overall direction of the story but they dont just ignore it
Which is ridiculous when they're constantly getting mind controlled. Of course they all need a way to incapacitate each other.
>Of course they all need a way to incapacitate each other.
But you tell that to everyone in the group, not just keep it to yourself so you can always come on top of everyone and give an illusion of trust.
Then what happens when Batman gets mind-controlled? Seems kinda dumb to put every weakness for every member in the hands of a single person
Batman made his own contingency plan, it involves taking his loved ones hostage should they be unable to just beat a mere human.
The contingency plan is Flash speedblitzes him 10 trillion times
Won't work, he has technology that is faster than Flash.
What, robots can have speedforce now?
Also he can freeze Flash in time and remove Flash's powers and has an AOE gun that has oneshotted Flash before
They addressed this in the Failsafe arc. Superman admitted after Tower of Babel than when Batman knows t heir weaknesses, the justice league would not be able to stop him if he turned evil (as proven by The Batman who Laughs).
So instead Batman realised the only person who can defeat an evil Batman, is another Batman. So he built a robot Batman called "Failsafe" that would activate and kill him if it ever detected he had killed a villain.
It's dumber than that. He created a tulpa in his mind that's just Batman without Bruce Wayne holding him back, had THAT Batman build the robot, then said Batman erased his own memory in case Batman tried to call tulpa!Batman for help.
Said robot is capable of taking out the entire Justice League by itself(because about halfway into the arc it does just that) and is built with so much advanced technology that a superweapon from New Genesis is onyl capable of chipping it's armor.
The trigger for the robot activating is if Batman kills a single person ever, relayed via a random news report. Apparently there was no failsafe(ironically) for said person faking their death and pinning the blame on Batman, and the robot does zero research into if the murder victim is actually dead(he's not).
This is also the same arc where Batman got blasted off the moon by the watchtower exploding. He proceeded to land in the arctic by the Fortress of Solitude after falling from orbit. He walked away with zero injuries from the fall.
he's a regular human without powers, just kick his shit in
He's gotten mindcontrolled multiple times. Nothing happens, he just becomes useless fodder.
Robin is Batman's best friend
Until current Robin has had enough of Batman's shit.
What are we on, robin #5? 6?
4
You forgot Steph and Carrie. I'll happily sweep the one from Robins under the rug though she might of been called something else.
Carrie isn't main canon, there's only been 5: Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, and Damian.
As soon as they start complaining, he switches them out.
Robins are like interna.
Wrong. It’s always Clark or Alfred. No Robin has ever been close to Batman’s best friend, at least not as far as Batman is concerned.
He's also thinking of ways other people should kill him. He's that weird friend who does things out of principal.
Sometimes you just shrug off your friend's autism
Or you come to appreciate it.
True, it's the Dale Gribble effect
A BAT CREDIT CARD?!
if I was non-powered I would be thinking of ways my super powered friend could kill me or be hurt by his enemirs
kys
You're welcome, fujo
money
They're only friends because they're the main DC characters, same with WW and the trinity
They've been in team up comics together for the better part of a century.
get a grip.
I’m constantly thinking up ways to murder my friends and we’ve known each other for decades. You’re not friends with someone unless you have concocted a perfect get out a jail free murder scheme with the works at least a dozen times
the attempts on his life make him laugh
Why are DC fans so fucking stupid? Every time I click a DC capeshit related thread it's full of morons acting like complete dipshits with no rhyme or reason. That and they have the worst memory out of all the other capeshitters. I have never met a worst group of people who don't even read or watch their own shit yet bitch and complain nonstop about shit that never happened. Is DC in general a shitpost? Because you people are fucking STUPID.
Read this
The "people" who make these threads are not fans
Superman thinks it's cute.
Like a small kitten trying to bite him.
Why do nonreaders always go out of their way to misrepresent characters for shitty thread ideas?
Well considering that Batman doesn't kill this thread feels kind of click baity. Maybe he thinks of ways he can subdue Superman but not kill him. The only time I've seen his methods used as an attempt to kill Superman was when Ra's Al Ghul stole his notes and attacked the JLA. Perhaps the reason they're friends is because Superman knows if he ever goes on a kill spree for any reason he can count on Batman to have those plans to incapacitate him
Because it's better to have Batman inside pissing out than outside pissing in.
Clark is the strongest thing on the planet and he's susceptible to mind control.
Not planning for a rogue Superman is like Tony Stark not building the Hulk Buster, it's not very smart when you consider what might've happened had they not planned in advance.
Hell, they've even been attacked either evil duplicates or evil alternate universe versions of themselves often enough that even if they were literal saints who would never turn evil for any reason, not having a counter for them would still be idiotic.
If there's two crazy millionaires plotting how to murder you better to befriend at least one of them just in case.
Disregard anything printed in comic books from TDKR kn
Because he knows Bruce is the only one who could stop him if he went too far. That's trust.
Love is blind
plastic man is the contingency for if batman goes rogue
It's amusing that Batman's contingency for Plastic Man going rogue is "please for the love of god don't ever go rogue."
Batman has two different contingencies for Plas
1 is freezing him then shattering him (Babel)
2 is a virus he created that makes Plas lose control of his powers and turns him to a motionless puddle of goo (used against Plas’ son, presumably Batkek used it on him too)
The Batman who laughs confirmed that Bruce ties dildos to his butthole at night so he can masterbate without him doing it itself.
This is what happens when you're friends with a nutjob whose insecure about his superiors.
Because he knows Bruce will never pull the trigger at him unless one of them snaps and endangers everyone.
And Bruce knows Clark would never become a ruthless psycopath unless something else drove him into that path by hurting his family and friends, which is why he keeps vigilance on them all time and gives assistance to the kents.
And both trusts each other to a point only one of them can deal with the other.
One of the best friendships I have to this day is with a dude who I met by fighting in a bar
Anyone can kick Batman's ass. It's not that hard.
In fact the Justice League as a whole including Batman has jobbed so many times that I stopped taking them seriously. Now watch DC retcon everything, then go full retard and do the same stupid shit again.
>batman
>trapped in a dream where he's married to Zatanna
>wakes up
>immediately thinks of Superman
bro he's gay for him
That could be all of us. Any one of us can have a best friend, coworker, relative, parent, lover, anything…that does nothing but think of ways to kill you. But they never do it, because you never do it. Because we all have someone we would kill if we knew it wouldn’t have consequences.