wyd in this situation?
kill somebody so i can get kicked out
link up with hitler and dahmer
>That shit isn't as pearly as I was led to believe.
Then go back to earth because israelites have a collective restraining order against me ans I can't get closer than 200m.
protest against the chimneys spewing out so much smoke
Why? Because i’m about to BTFO so called God.
>you used anal stimulation using masturbation! explain yourself mortal!
>Sure, israelite God. You have me a prostate, I just used it.
I chuckle as the angel slaves stare on horrified
>YOU WRETCH! I DOOM YOU TO H-
>you first, I quip, holding up a piece of paper
>WHAT IS THIS?
>evidence, I say blithely. it’s bible verses of every time God justified slavery, homophobia, racism, genocide
>B-BUT THAT DOES NOT APPLY TO ME! I AM YOUR GOD!
>and by your own rules you belong in hell. know what else doesn’t apply to you? logic.
>I begin reciting the dawkins I know off by heart as God dissolves in a puff of fairy dust, and the angels start panicking
>who will lead us now??
>lead yourselves. it’s what I did
and then I walk into so called hell to hang out with nietzsche and john lennon
He has some good ideas but he is kinda of a pussy and never follows up on them. So now no one listens to him and just let him sperg while we mind our own business
Be reunited with my dogs. Go for the greatest walk ever
What do dogs get up to in heaven before their masters arrive? Is there just an endless pile of roast chicken or something
Catchable mailman and T bone steaks
Apologize to my father
the gate is clearly closed
i need to see the book so i know my stats
Probably just shitpost on a Chinese basketweaving forum all day tbh
anime image board*, reddit
If heaven is real i’m 100% tracking down people I argued with all day on here with and laughing about how silly we used to be together
The idea of an eternal afterlife terrifies me, and so does the idea of there being nothing after death. Sometimes that existential dread pops into my head and there's nothing I can do except try my hardest to distract myself until it goes away.
eternity would be timelessness rather than infinite time so it wouldn’t really “feel” like a suspended duration. time is a condition of material things occurring and wouldn’t apply to some metaphysical existence. it’s completely incomprehensible and would basically be like being born into a new life, sort of like the way you’re not the same person you were as a kid but more extreme. I wouldn’t worry about it. if there’s nothing, well life is futile and ultimately sucks but you will never be aware of it. if there is something, you’ll adapt
I feel like eternal life means a benevolent omniscient force behind it all anyway, who would obviously know what is best for the spirits of the dead. At the end of the day that’s what faith is, trust. You’re basically trusting that reality is ultimately good to people.
Yep, I forgot to delete my internet history, didn't I?
>[Laugh track, applause]
>[Full House credits play]
I'm going to hell for sure. There's no way any of us will get in. Shit is too fucked.
if there are more chilled out parts of hell that are just depressing emptiness rather than genuine torment im ok with that
>arrive in hell
>placed in the anal rape pillory
>turn to 17 inch barbed penis demon
>”hey excuse me sir I think I’m in the wrong place. I’m supposed to be in the chill part of hell.”
>the chill part? oh ok, our bad!
>demons penis is now made of ice
Kill myself again
turn 360° and walk away
knock and run away
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