>You lookin' for a dance partner?
How do you respond without sounding mad?
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>You lookin' for a dance partner?
>You lookin' for a dance partner?
How do you respond without sounding mad?
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
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Yes
>I don’t know how to dance, so no
>let’s boogie
It’s that easy
>why? is your mom free from getting ass rammed?
>without sounding mad
I'll give you the mom one, but the others don't sound mad at all.
I'm just here for the peach cobbler
>No, I'm looking for something more long term.
Is that an offer?
i make a quip which heavily implies i'm a homosexual
as i'm in a netflix production i am now immune to having the main character instigate violence against me
then i suck him off
>Stay back. If you come one step closer then that means you're gay, and no backsies.
what if he's really gay though? he can still whoop your ass
>Let's get down, wood
>yard, keyed
>TV claims there's no wokeshit in this one bro trust me bro it's based and redpilled bro
>Suddenly his gay black lesbian nonbinary asexual questioning ex-special forces ex-marsoc ex-navy seal ex-delta force elite hacker private detective who's actually a lot smarter and stronger than him shows up
What the FRICK did Cinemaphile mean by this?
>gay black lesbian nonbinary asexual questioning ex-special forces ex-marsoc ex-navy seal ex-delta force elite hacker private detective who's actually a lot smarter and stronger than him
Christ, is anything not woke to you chuds?
>chuds
Why are you so transphobic?
anything without any lgbt subhumans for starters
>is anything not woke to you chuds?
Yeah but how does their criticism affect you PERSONALLY?
that's an exaggeration btw they never said she was marsoc
Sorry chuddie, another show that's VERBOTEN for you.
>Suddenly his gay black lesbian nonbinary asexual questioning ex-special forces ex-marsoc ex-navy seal ex-delta force elite hacker private detective who's actually a lot smarter and stronger than him shows up
She's literally not, she even says Reacher taught her everything she knows, and she very obviously defers to him.
This entire show is literally "white man with enormous muscles who is also a genius detective beats the shit out of multi-ethnic villains who are comically outmatched while everyone else fawns over him and women want to frick him" and Cinemaphile still finds a way to complain about it being woke
its a gay fantasy
Nazism is a gay fantasy if you think about it.
mad max fury road, lmao. Random white guy saves everyone, no one could succeed unless he was there. Women are kept literally as sex slaves. But its woke because he hands the rifle to a woman, who actually owned and knew the rifle and was a better shot because it, for one scene. 10 seconds later he walks alone to where the woman shot and single handedly kills like 20 heavily armed people himself.
Reacher ain't a random White dude. He's a top investigator all-around, specifically with his time as a MP. He understands humans and human behavior. He knows the correct questions to ask. He's basically sherlock holmes, if sherlock was 6.5' tall, had 30" biceps, worked as a military cop for like a decade, and a hobo.
right, but i was talking about max
ah
>He's a top investigator all-around, specifically with his time as a MP. He understands humans and human behavior. He knows the correct questions to ask. He's basically sherlock holmes, if sherlock was 6.5' tall, had 30" biceps, worked as a military cop for like a decade, and a hobo.
That sounds incredibly based. I will now watch this show immediately.
If you're new to reacher, he's a retired military guy who wants nothing in the world except wandering around and experiencing the freedom he fought for. He lived on military bases his whole life, so he really doesn't like being tied down. to anything. including girlfriends, houses, and basically every state in the union. He's pretty much always on the move, and he gets caught up with the troubles of people.
where the FRICK has this been all my life? this couldn't sound more up my alley, it's insane. I know the show has a tiny bit of pozz but it's reasonable to assume the books are straight edge and based whiteguycore, right?
> but it's reasonable to assume the books are straight edge and based whiteguycore, right?
Correct. Bear in mind, the author has been writing these books since like 1990 i think, and he puts out basically a new book every year. There's a lot.
sounds like the comfiest shit possible. It seems almost episodic in nature. I really am going to check it out, could do with some good fiction to let off steam.
One of the neat things lee child did was he made reacher age as the books went on. the book series starts with reacher somewhere in his early 30s, and i think hes getting close to 60 nowadays. Reacher does get a bit slower as the books go on, but he's still sharp. and he still chugs coffee.
Nah, he deliberately stopped mentioning his age. It's like he got to about his mid 40s and it's never been mentioned since.
The "most dangerous game" book i mentioned has him somewhere in his early or mid-50s, i specifically remember that. i'm fairly positive he has continued to age, but i haven't gotten any of the new books beyond that one. some young guys pick a fight with reacher since he's an old man, but he just basically breaks their hands as soon as they get close to him
Yeah, that's Past Tense, where his age does come up a bit. The ones after that revert back to not really mentioning it.
Every book follows about one of about 3 plots as well
1.Reacher goes back in time to a story from his military days
2. Reacher ends up in some small town and takes on the local corrupt police force/businessman. Basically like an episode of Knight Rider or the A Team
3.Reacher stumbles in to, or is hunted down by the CIA/FBI to help with an assassination attempt/kidnapping/save the world/ripoff from some film you've seen before
Also 9 times out of 10 he will end up fricking the first female character he comes across, usually the FBI or CIA agent, or the woman he ends up helping in some way.
The books are peak slop for boomers at the airport that need something to read. The reason Reacher has no back story or ties to anywhere or anyone is so that the books can be read in any order and you won't be lost. They are an easy read though, even if they do all start to merge in to one.
>peak slop for boomers
No, they're based and good and proper fictional entertainment for any generation.
hey, if you got a good recipe, no need to change it up. just ask r l stine.
read most of the books and you are a homosexual. reacher is based and would frick you up.
How does he keep up his routine and macros?
It still has a homosexual aura somehow
I’m an unapologetic chud and I thought Reacher S1 was pretty fricking good. Reacher wasn’t a complete Gary Stu (came close though) and the supporting characters were actually characters, which I thought was nice. Especially liked the tweedy Black detective who was into dad rock and didn’t speak like a stereotype from a 90’s Wayans brothers movie.
reacher is as unwoke as it gets these days. which means it's 95% normal main character, surrounded by a diverse but ok supporting cast
the other 5% will be a dip into the truly woke gay shit. lie how james bond needs a scene where a powerful black queen kills a white man after he says something racist
They lie like always. The moment the black chief showed up I tuned out. The guy was obnoxious and inhumane. Don't hope for anything in any slop made in current year.
But everyone points out that the guy is obnoxious. His character is supposed to be the curmudgeon who doesn't get along with anyone and only took this assignment because he thinks he needs to self-flagellate after his wife's death. People tell him to his face that he's being stupid about it
Hmm yeah i guess I did like him and Reacher becoming friends and him getting over his wife's passing. The black dyke on the other hand..
All that is well and good but that meaningless scene of her stopping some guy just grabbing a woman's arm was maximum cringe.
Don't count on it. S2 is still yet to come out. They reel you in and then demoralize you.
What a gem the lead guy is. Where the frick has he been? Absolute unit, good enough actor and has decent screen presence and charisma. I've never seen him in anything else. He should really become a big action star and do some movies. He's at a good age for it too.
>Where the frick has he been? Absolute unit, good enough actor and has decent screen presence and charisma. I've never seen him in anything else
He was Raph in the Michael Bay TMNT movies and was on that Titans show as the best part of said show, which he left to do this.
I'm just glad Alan appears to really understand being Reacher. He's got all the mannerisms down, except his hair is supposed to generally be ratty/unkept.
that might have been due more to makeup departments or whatever then his actual preferences since his acting is so on point
>Raph in TMNT
Oh yeah? That is really fitting and based. He's 40 or something but I feel like he can squeeze out some kinos. He just has it all. I'd imagine he'd be an all-timer if the timeline was fixed so he was in his prime in the 80's or 90's. I think he can be Batman in that new universe that pedo Gunn is building. Just dye his hair black. That's if they're going for comic accuracy.
>Where the frick has he been?
You really really need to watch Blood Drive, especially if you’re a fan of schlocky 70’s grindhouse movies.
black detective is in the book though. i cant recall if picard was supposed to be black. finley is a jaded guy who had a rough hand dealt.
apparently neely (the lesbian half-breed) is a real character that appears later on in the books, but ive read like six books and havent come across her yet.
Finlay is in the books.
The weird thing is how they fricked up his relationship with his wife. In the books it was much, MUCH worse. At least, I personally think so. She wasn't dead. Instead, after he stopped being the all important high ranking detective, she straight up told him she didn't love him, that she was using him and that now that he has no status, she doesn't care for him. She dumps him then and there, after 20+ years of marriage.
The story as it is paints her as a great person who died, but that isn't at all how it was. She was a shitty piece of shit who lied to and used a good man for years. And despite how she showed her true colors to him, he still can't get over her and Reacher calls him out on it.
My guess is that "MUH BLAK WOMAN CAN'T BE BAD". Which is fricking stupid.
Who knows why they changed that. Probably in their moronic brains thought it furthered stereotypes about women which is funny because this is an occurence happening all over the world and as real as the blue sky. Most women are soulless sociopaths. That's the truth of it. It's not sexist, it's the truth.
>Who knows why they changed that
You fricking know why they did.
I think the book mentioned that he and his wife didn't have children. its been a while since i read it, but i think it was hinted that his wife left him because he's middle-aged, in love with his job, and no kids.
you left out the part where she beats up a guy at a strip club
neely wasnt supposed to be in this book/series, reacher doesnt call for her help
Yeah that was fricking gay and moronic
Go back to fricking Shin.
Its a literal amazon prime show. Never trust the shills. Shills love lying and pretrnding like there isnt any woke shit in anything they shill. When you confront them they either deny it or pretend like it doesnt matter somehow. I remember
You expect none woke movies in the 21st century? Even alien had a black complaining about shit.
imagine actually watching any tv show produced by netflix/amazon etc, nevermind defending it
just don't watch anything produced after 2017, simple as
"I have one lady in mind but it's complicated."
sorry bud you're not my type
why yes. i was waiting for you to ask.
Sorry pal, i'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet ain't got no rhythm
>Sorry pal, i'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet ain't got no rhythm
you could start sucking his dick and it would look less gay than you saying this shit.
george michael was no gay
Remember that gay also means lighthearted and fun you big party pooper.
this show is like a guilty pleasure. sorta like Terminal List
>Using that term unironically because your reddit friends will take offense
Go back.
>guilty pleasure
You could not be more of a homosexual if you tried.
Literally the only reason you call the phrase gay is if you derive pleasure for sucking dick and feel guilty about it.
i only feel guilty after sucking dick if i waste a single drop of cum
>Reacher is being followed by a couple assassin spics
>he sets them up and shoots them in the back
>with a deagle
i was honestly impressed and surprised they used that scene in the series. reacher is a very practical guy and seizes any opportunity to put down a bad guy. also when reacher pretends to drop the stand-off with picard, then just frickin shoots him.
i enjoyed it. only issue with the show is that the main guy is a bit too handsome for reacher. reacher is supposed to be entirely 5/10 on his best days, and downright intimidating/spooky when hes mad
This show felt like the most straight white male pandering shit I've ever seen. It was surprisingly fun.
i havent looked up the show production or anything, but it definitely seems like lee child had a decent influence on it. the few changes they made from the books were marginal and not really important, so i dont care. i was confused why the kliner kid was the mastermind in the end, but eh, it was fine. the kid wasnt supposed to be a criminal organization kingpin, he was just a loose intelligent cannon
I've never read any of the books or seen the Tom Cruise flick. But I like Alan Ritchson and was thoroughly entertained by the show.
Did you pay for it? If not you're part of the reason we don't get more shit like this.
I mean...I have an Amazon Prime subscription. That's where I watched it.
the show was VERY true to the books. the thing with reacher books (in my opinion) is that lee child writes like 90% of the book as exposition and background and setup. frankly, the books can be boring if youre expecting action. all the action builds up through like last two chapters.
a midwit would honestly be bored reading the books and watching the show. but the payoff is great nearly every time. there's a very recent book where some rich guys are hunting The Most Dangerous Game and reacher shows up accidentally. hope they do that one
oh god that one was fricking terrible, almost as bad as the one where he stops Russia sending Fake News.
First Tom Cruise movie is the only good Reacher content, everything else is just a cool idea for a main character in a dull setting
I thought that Russia plot was hacking the election.
Or is there more than one post-2016 Russia plotline?
Oh good thanks for pirating it butthole
Idk how to dance. Wanna teach me?
Why yeth thailor, you have beautiful eyes by the way.
scenes that radiate moistness
>Hey Finlay, you know you're kinda jacked
>...really?
>...no
But finlay was pretty in-shape
They had the chance to actually make Finley and Reacher somewhat friendly and instead it comes off making reacher look like a dickhead.
It's kind of sad knowing Ill never have a body like that.
t. 140lbs lanklet
I'd bust a move or three and hit him with a
>you tell me
>afraid I've already made plans with your mother
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.
>Oh? You're Approaching Me?
>i-i'm y-your huckleberry
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
I was pleasantly surprised with Roscoe's body of work (the shower scene)
It's either die trying or running blind that has a blonde bombshell as Reacher's assistant during an investigation. Lee Child makes it a habit to describe how she never wears bra, she's a solid 36DD, tall, and legs for days. here's hoping we get some actress that looks like 90s pam anderson
White male secret agent literature is always like this. James Bond, Jack Reacher, Jack Ryan. It's the most kino stuff there is. It's clearly made by guys for guys. Such comfy reading. i remember there was this lesser known one in the vein of Reacher where the author took nearly two whole pages describing this woman character like she was his waifu so his self-insert can plow her after. It spoke to my soul. If only BlackRock and israelites didn't exist and all media would be like this.
Lee Child spent two whole paperback pages describing how a man with only one hand gets himself dressed in the morning. and the one-handed man has a hook for a fake hand. It's that sort of channeled, subtle autism i can appreciate.
Holy SOVL. I need to dust off the two Reacher books I got in my shelf. I could use some less internet and more reading. I don't like books because they're generally gay as shit except of the 'white ubermensch is based and fricks a lot of girls while doing cool secret agent stuff' genre. Any similar line of books that suit my needs, anons?
I don't know what the frick you're talking about. yes, back then it was israelites making shekels but it was still giving the people what they want and them solely vying for shekels now they've gone full blown psychotic after the culture war and won't spare you some escapism. Frick them. Also, yes I want more media like this and exclusively like this. In fact, all media should be cool white guy is perfect at everything and fricks hot women. End of.
>back then it was israelites
exactly your problem
you're anti-white, have a nice day
cause your own life is shit and garbage, and you are a weak little white racist incel in real life.
I may have some hangups about myself but at least I'm not either of you.
project more
i think i misremembered hook hobie getting dressed. it goes on for more than two pages.
eh, different strokes. i liked it. old mid-50s reacher cleaning house.
Is that the secret of books? Authors can just unload autism and soul and get paid for it?
yeah. Read american pyscho. There is a straight up chapter where patrick says the name of an item in his apartment, where its from, how much it cost, and what makes it better then anything else. Thats it. Repeat for mutliple pages. Yeah we get it hes a materialistic shallow frick, jesus do we need another 4 pages of this frick
the entire chapter about a whitney houston album lmao... easily my favorite book - absolutely hilarious.
books have always been a much more enjoyable medium for autists that want to live vicariously through fiction. Movies are audiovisual but just too short and you can't get immersed. Language makes all the difference. I write some times, only stuff for my eyes only and for my own enjoyment and it's carthartic.
>I write some times, only stuff for my eyes only and for my own enjoyment and it's carthartic
I do the same thing!
based. I do what Lee Childs and Ian Fleming clearly do which is make up a self-insert that is the perfect version of myself and he goes on cool escapades and fricks girls I make up and that suit my tastes and live out some fantasies and scenarios. Fiction writing is the best therapy there is. I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my chest. Would kill someone if they ever looked at it though lol
Flashman. They’re historical novels, not modern day, but he’s basically Bond before Bond.
based
He also wrote that pecs can stop a .38spl
Your pecs can't?
>Lee Child spent two whole paperback pages describing how a man with only one hand gets himself dressed in the morning.
Thats Robert ludlum levels of autism, in every bourn book his wife is kidnapped and almost raped because she's that hot. Wait she was actually gang raped in the first book. kek.
That's the fantasy. Having a woman who is so hot but she's loyal and devoted to (you) so others are so blinded with rage and envy that they break the statues of society just to get a taste of her. But even if they take her, they have to deal with the reckoning that is (you). So you go save the princess. It's based and will never get old.
>if only all media could be this consumerist slop made by and for the sake of the exact system I claim to hate
no thanks
Oh boy, do I have an antihero for you, Cinemaphilebro.
this genre is making a comeback (male escapism that is)
but with how pozzed big publishing studios are now most based authors just self publish now
most are Harem based
The books are goddamned moronic though. I finished the first three and they're just so ridiculous I can't take the writing seriously. It's also obviously written by a complete brainlet trying to make Reacher out to be super smart. At one point he's tied up in the back of a trunk and does some bullshit calculations with the bullet holes in the trunk, that's just simple multiplication but it's written as if he's some sort of beautiful mind savant.
Fun books, but only because they're so silly.
>i remember there was this lesser known one in the vein of Reacher where the author took nearly two whole pages describing this woman character like she was his waifu so his self-insert can plow her after. It spoke to my soul.
This is what is missing from Hollywood. The passion of it. Women and homosexuals just don't fricking understand.
It was Die Trying. He mentioned her long blonde hair a lot as well.
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
Spread my legs
Only very puny, weak and effeminate men like this character.
bullet to the head
>it's up
>kinos for this feel
>cast her/him
>now that the dust has settled
>oh no ___-bros!
>anime can't be kin-
>what's next for [X]?
>how do you respond without sounding mad
>Chris Watts/Stayvun
>get woke go brok-ACK
>/druk/
Reacher? I just met her!
>i'm sorry. are you saying "dance partner" or "dance, partner"?
season 2 is going to be shit, expect a huge bait and switch
You could say they’re going to give us… a Reacher round!
Real life gigachad
Dance pardner or dance part-en-ner?
Sorry im not gay go get topped by someone else
>eyyy im reachin ova here
Let’s dance you fricking roid monkey.
Why was the ending fight in S1 so shit? The fake fires looked so bad.
How everyone went off and conveniently fought their own boss battles was really forced too
>knock him out
>take him home
>[REDACTED]
Without making a sound the entire time
>"Please frick my boy-pussy."
>You should buy me dinner first
everytime i see a muscle dummy like that i think of carls timeless advice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6MQUaXFfLY
>back the frick off?!?!?!?
The most unrealistic aspect of the series was how many guys weren't intimidated by this hulking brawler who clearly wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty.
i would stay for she
She was perfect casting.
I'm glad I saw her breasts
His breasts are bigger than hers.
His everything is bigger than hers
"Only if you promise to keep your hands on my hips this time"
>I will have my friend, Larry, here, stick his fingers so far up your ass your breathe will smell like Larry's fingers.
>That part when Thad takes the oreo out of his ass, takes a big whiff and eats it
This show was such a fricking trip
Please rupture my colon.
>No, thanks. I'm straight.
>”buy me dinner first”
>”nobody puts baby in the corner”
>”you’re a lot prettier than my last prom date, I’ll give you that”
he felt too overpowered - too smart, too powerful, etc. he needed some kryptonite. It was fun for a first couple of episodes but then it lost my interest
He's literally supposed to be larger than life, but he basically has the body of any pro basketball player. His weakness is that sometimes he misreads a situation. He usually gets things correct, but he does make some small strategically-written mistakes with his assumptions. But the thing is, reacher knows that while he operates under the notion that people act reasonably, he acknowledges he can be surprised.
he also generally doesn't care about any little things, whether it's small talk, favorite things like colors/flavours, clothing, or frankly friends. he doesn't chat with friends at all, until someone close winds up dead or in trouble. he's very standoff-ish, but not a bad guy. people avoid him in the books and he just shrugs
>colors
>flavours
Must be bilinguine
>kryptonite
Jack Reacher is one of the world's most terribly average drivers. He can kinda drive, but he tends to void warranty agreements and can't park very well. He prefers to take buses or just walk.
>everyone itt arguing over Reacher S1 is woke
I hope they do go through with S2 now following the books with Book 2
the Cinemaphile threads would be hilarious with the main villains in that book
not gonna spoil it but I think it's very topical and why the series was greenlit to begin with
aw man I guess I was wrong
they didn't have the guts after all lol
?si=h1oweyaXFp4NxjQJ
was it neo nazis?
worse it was Libertarian Insurrectionists that wanted to secede from the ~~*USA*~~
i think turning that book into a season would be kinda rough. it was pretty hard against the american military. a genius fatfrick military strategist successfully beats the american military at a game of king of the hill. kino villain though, but i dont think the general public wants to see a cave of rotting soldier corpses
as a accelerationist I would've loved to see them do it
maybe even tie it to reality by using the Jan 6 protest
>>You lookin' for a dance partner?
yes, that's my Craigslist ad
>wow that was cringe
No? (With a very confused look on my face as if I was talking to a moron)
Pocket
Pussy
I walk right past him and beat the shit out of that lady in the background so he knows I mean business.
You’re a large individual
Can I suck your breasts?
is Reacher better than Terminal List?
>looks massive on screen
>only 6'2 irl
lol
He is wearing a pair of Red Wings
Why did Jack have trouble fighting the scrawny kid with a crowbar in the pool?
Reacher is a solid guy, but you understand he's mortal, right? He took a frickin' direct-hit with a crowbar to his chin. You ever get hit by a pitch in baseball?
he fought bigger and more skilled guys with knives earlier, but some punk kid got the better of him?
The guy who played Ares in Xena died by slipping and falling.
he was in a full on fight with him, he didn't have any accidents or surprises
Even the best fighter in the world can get BTFO unexpectedly, just look at Bruce Lee in ‘Once upon a time in Hollywood’.
it wasn't unexpectedly like John Wick getting jumped in the dark. He was facing him head on you moron.
I enjoyed it, reminded me of smallville.
I'd just reach out and tweak his nipples. Even if he beats me to death there's no way he comes back from that with his ego and dignity 100% intact.
the biggest flaw of the series is how badass he was in the prison shower fight
it set the bar too high that when future fights happen you find yourself asking why isn't he that badass anymore
Possibly. Think about it from reacher's point of view though. He excels in close quarters combat, but he also takes any advantage he finds in a fight. He doesn't karate everyone he meets because fighting hurts and he's been severely wounded a few times, it feels unpleasant. Reacher will shoot someone without warning if he can.
>I'm not looking for anything fella, now you stay back 10 feet from me because I am in mortal fear for my life right now. I am not joking.
30-45 minutes of exercise a day
pizza and ice cream
trt
it's that simple.
in reality
49% genetics
49% supplements growing up
1% diet
1% exercise
he admitted to doing steroids
I feel like I would enjoy the series more if I didn't watch the first Tom Cruise movie. It painted a picture of reacher in my mind and set a kino tone for the franchise. I think the Amazon shows drag on too long and I really didn't care for the romance aspect of it.
>person gets shot at night
>he goes out the next night
>hmm actually last night the moon would've been a waning gibbous crescent moon and it would've been 5 lumens brighter and the moon would've been 13 degrees higher on the azimuthal bismuth angle therefore the shadows would've been shorter and the shooter would've been unseen hiding behind this tall grass here
that shit was fricking hilarious and it was ep1 or 2
>WELL, WELL...WHAT'VE WE HERE?
>ANOTHER BLOWHARD TRYIN' TO SQUARE DANCE IN A ROUND HOUSE?
>YALL'RE FRIGHTENIN' MY GIRLS SOMETHIN FIERCE, DAMNIT!
>..HANSEN, YALL CAN WAIT A MINUTE WHILE I ACQUIESCE THIS FELLER'S INVITATION.
I will never get tired of Hansen cowboyposting
>dicky ROADS
>TAKE ME HOME
>Takes two to tango
>three is company
>Dancing is fourbidden.
>No. Duet partner. *raise fists* How about you take this mic? I got a backup mic right here.
I like that.
let's dance, bastich!