>He's being polite and deflective about his addiction?
There's porbably a lot of shame involved in being an alcoholic
Imagine going into the same small shop at the same time every morining and seeing the same bloke behind the counter to buy your cheap reality number
Can't be easy
Anon do you dress like a hobo or mentally deficient? Because otherwise she's into you.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Not a hobo. I got there every day at lunch time in my work clothes which is just jeans and white shirt.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Is she qt
7 months ago
Anonymous
I don't know how to objectively answer that question. She is not fat.
7 months ago
Anonymous
It's time to come out of the closet, anon.
7 months ago
Anonymous
I'm not gay I'm just very formal and autistic.
7 months ago
Anonymous
You can still have an objective view on her as being hot or ugly. That's an actual latent homosexual redflag.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Or just kind of asexual. He might also be constantly drunk enough to doubt his own judgment?
7 months ago
Anonymous
I can’t find a cartoon girl hot or ugly. I can’t imagine fricking a cartoon. I base my sexual attraction off of that, and cartoons are like ghosts. I imagine my naked erection thrusting aimlessly on the bed and there’s only ghost pussy there
7 months ago
Anonymous
I'm not good at describing people. If you told me to tell you what my mothers face looks like I couldn't even tell you what colour her eyes are.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Your mother's got brown eyes
7 months ago
Anonymous
you can't remember the colour of your own mother's eyes, or you can't name it? if I handed you a set of coloured pencils (or, let's be real, crayons) and paper could you draw her?
7 months ago
Anonymous
>could you draw her?
no way. 0 chance. I cannot tell you at all what her face looks like. Also the Art teacher back in school said I was the worst student he had even seen in his 30+ years of teaching. I had zero creative ability at all. I had high grades in subjects like Math and Science and History but I failed Art and Woodshop.
7 months ago
Anonymous
What about her shoes?
7 months ago
Anonymous
Dunno. I don't recall things like that about other people.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Serious question, are you depressed?
7 months ago
Anonymous
Yes extremely
7 months ago
Anonymous
It's time to come out of the closet, anon.
Two options here: Sperg or Gay. I'm leaning towards sperg who hasn't realised that the girl giving him free coffee every day is into him, because gay people generally have a little more social awareness and know when to turn a girl down.
7 months ago
Anonymous
>Thanks for these coffees you get me, are you free this Friday, perhaps I can buy you some drinks in return
Just do it anon
7 months ago
Anonymous
That's smooth man
7 months ago
Anonymous
More like >hey, thanks for the coffee I definitely owe you a coffee or drink in exchange
If she laughs and says “ok” then >how about Friday?
But bear in mind she may not have “weekends” like you do if she works at a drugstore, so go with another day if she needs to shift
7 months ago
Anonymous
you don't have an opinion on whether a girl is cute or not?
I'm not gay I'm just very formal and autistic.
I didn't realize autism took away your sex drive. probably for the best, I suppose.
He's an alcoholic who is coping and futilely attempting to keep up the appearance that he's not one throughout the whole interaction despite the fact the same shopkeeper sees him do this same song and dance every single day. If you're an alkie, your neighborhood cashier will eventually know it.
I used to rotate liquor stores because of this but I gave it up because several workers eventually transferred and practically at least one cashier in every ABC store knew me by name. The only time its embarrassing is when a new qt starts working and they go from bubbly and flirty to eventually realizing you're an alcoholic they're going to see multiple times a week.
Acquire a still and make your own.
Buy the sugar at costco, make a gallon of 80-90% at a time, works out to around 2gallons of store booze for ~$10-15
Never hit up the liquor store, after that. However, if you have that much and cannot control yourself, you'll die.
He's an alcoholic who is coping and futilely attempting to keep up the appearance that he's not one throughout the whole interaction despite the fact the same shopkeeper sees him do this same song and dance every single day. If you're an alkie, your neighborhood cashier will eventually know it.
He wants to get something else but suddenly feels very thirsty and has to spend all his money on beverages. A further complication arises when it is implied he may become too sleepy to continue on his way. This is a simple but effective sketch about difficulties life throws in your path while you attempt to accomplish even basic tasks.
It's like how fatties go to McDonald's and order 4 small cokes so the cashier won't think fatso is going to eat all that food by himself. The cashier knows. Everyone knows. Nobody says anything, just to spare the fatty the added shame.
Did you not see the end of the sketch where he just lays down in front of the store? You can do that shit in small corner shops, but major supermarkets will frick your shit up if you try that
Alcoholism is so sad bros. Some woman at my elementary school started showing up to pick up her kids drunk, she had always been lovely. Eventually her husband left her over it and she never saw her kids. Last I saw she was on the bus with three bottles of wine, and then she died not long after at the age of like 35
Working remotely from home and being a functional alcoholic is a bad mix. I do all of my work in half the day and then by around 3pm I'll be having a drink.
on the way home today i got off the bus and swore silently that i wouldn't buy any booze. 3 minutes later as i approached the store i thought how nice it would be to drink some wine with dinner. since buying wine and a good dinner is too expensive for me i am eating a frozen pizza tonight and half the bottle is gone already.
In my state (Alabama) only bars and liquor stores (or state-run ABC stores) can sell liquor as they're the only ones usually granted a liquor license. Our grocery stores and convenience stores (everything from gas stations to corner store pharmacies) can get a license for beer and wine, but not liquor. Some US states allow grocery stores to sell liquor like anything else which is cool. Not here, though.
>Go to PA >Try to buy 3 six packs from the grocery store >"You can't buy those at this register, you need to go to the beer shop in the corner" >Go to beer corner >"You can't buy that many in one transaction. I can ring up these two and then you have to place them beyond that line over there and then I can ring up the other."
It's all fricking stupid.
Wait until you try to buy wine from a gas station at 11:01PM. Sorry sir but we can't sell wine after 11. Feel free to buy six 4lokos with the same volume and % until 2AM tho
I'm in Ireland and I call it a liquor store but all my friends and family always make fun of me for saying that instead of saying off licence. I use a lot of more American centric terms due to the internet.
A liquor store is a place specifically to buy alcohol.
Corner shops like in the sketch are for all sorts of things. The cashier at 10am isn't surprised to sell booze at "da likka sto'" (Black person) unlike at a corner shop where they're expecting to sell bread, papers and milk.
Do what I did. Try to break your neet-dom by being social and going to parties. Get panic attacks due to social phobia and then have your brain connect the panic attacks to alcohol, causing the taste of alcohol to trigger panic attacks even when not in social situations. Worked like a charm.
I did this but instead of going to parties it was drinking ginger ale and instead of panic attacks it was being too hung over from whiskey gingers. I can't drink ginger ale any more without tasting the bite of alcohol I expect to go with it.
I hate limes because of a similar thing. Buddy was always making rum and cokes with big lime slices in it and it made me nauseas gulping them down. It took me ages to realise I could no longer stand limes in food or drinks because I LOVE lemon in drinks and you'd figure they're similar enough that you can't revile one and love the other.
get a job first, then you can drink as much as you want. i'm 100% serious. get something to do, then drink to your heart's content. frick the world, drinking is completely understandable but you should at least provide for yourself and be of some use.
>ran out of booze money Saturday morning >decided to try to quit drinking again >have basically been laying in bed unable to sleep watching YouTube videos for the past 48 hours
I don't even necessarily feel that terrible physically beyond above average heart rate and some night sweats, but I feel like hell mentally for letting myself get to this point again
I go to the same shop all the time. There are two guys, Indian or something relatives. Once the younger one said to me "do you really enjoy this?" talking about the disgusting cider I was buying. I lied and said "yeah if it's cold it's ok". Other than that, never had any issues. They don't care - they just see you as a source of cash.
Those weren't real Indians. When I was an alkie, the liquor store I went to was owned by an OG Indian who was perpetually drunk. He had a severe limp too, the true sign of an alcoholic
I never got this sketch at all?
You have to be druk to understand this sketch
So it's "I'm pretending to be thirsty but I'm really just an alcoholic buying booze at 10am?"
He's being polite and deflective about his addiction?
I'm spergy and miss shit like this all the time.
See you got it. Proud of u.
>He's being polite and deflective about his addiction?
There's porbably a lot of shame involved in being an alcoholic
Imagine going into the same small shop at the same time every morining and seeing the same bloke behind the counter to buy your cheap reality number
Can't be easy
that’s why you mix up what off licence to go too. you don’t want them to start to build up a profile about you.
well this is an English country village and he probably lost his driving license
I'm this way about literally everyting
God forbid I build an ounce of familiarity with anyone
>They must'nt know
Exactly, ‘they’ mustn’t know
now we know, now we know
They know regardless. I mix mine up, but after a while they recognise and give you the regular's price all the same.
>off license
>colour
redcoats off my FRICKING board
British TV show.
You can literally buy from apps like Uber and JustEat now. There's no shame involved anymore.
Neither of those are in my town.
I do this everyday but for coffee and I feel embarrassed as the woman there stopped charging me and just gives it to me for free
Anon do you dress like a hobo or mentally deficient? Because otherwise she's into you.
Not a hobo. I got there every day at lunch time in my work clothes which is just jeans and white shirt.
Is she qt
I don't know how to objectively answer that question. She is not fat.
It's time to come out of the closet, anon.
I'm not gay I'm just very formal and autistic.
You can still have an objective view on her as being hot or ugly. That's an actual latent homosexual redflag.
Or just kind of asexual. He might also be constantly drunk enough to doubt his own judgment?
I can’t find a cartoon girl hot or ugly. I can’t imagine fricking a cartoon. I base my sexual attraction off of that, and cartoons are like ghosts. I imagine my naked erection thrusting aimlessly on the bed and there’s only ghost pussy there
I'm not good at describing people. If you told me to tell you what my mothers face looks like I couldn't even tell you what colour her eyes are.
Your mother's got brown eyes
you can't remember the colour of your own mother's eyes, or you can't name it? if I handed you a set of coloured pencils (or, let's be real, crayons) and paper could you draw her?
>could you draw her?
no way. 0 chance. I cannot tell you at all what her face looks like. Also the Art teacher back in school said I was the worst student he had even seen in his 30+ years of teaching. I had zero creative ability at all. I had high grades in subjects like Math and Science and History but I failed Art and Woodshop.
What about her shoes?
Dunno. I don't recall things like that about other people.
Serious question, are you depressed?
Yes extremely
Two options here: Sperg or Gay. I'm leaning towards sperg who hasn't realised that the girl giving him free coffee every day is into him, because gay people generally have a little more social awareness and know when to turn a girl down.
>Thanks for these coffees you get me, are you free this Friday, perhaps I can buy you some drinks in return
Just do it anon
That's smooth man
More like
>hey, thanks for the coffee I definitely owe you a coffee or drink in exchange
If she laughs and says “ok” then
>how about Friday?
But bear in mind she may not have “weekends” like you do if she works at a drugstore, so go with another day if she needs to shift
you don't have an opinion on whether a girl is cute or not?
I didn't realize autism took away your sex drive. probably for the best, I suppose.
>free coffee hookup
she wants to frick you, moron.
Doubt it. I'm balding and skinnyfat.
I used to rotate liquor stores because of this but I gave it up because several workers eventually transferred and practically at least one cashier in every ABC store knew me by name. The only time its embarrassing is when a new qt starts working and they go from bubbly and flirty to eventually realizing you're an alcoholic they're going to see multiple times a week.
Acquire a still and make your own.
Buy the sugar at costco, make a gallon of 80-90% at a time, works out to around 2gallons of store booze for ~$10-15
Never hit up the liquor store, after that. However, if you have that much and cannot control yourself, you'll die.
you don't know any alcoholics, lmao
Lager Beer.
for me its Larger Beer
He’s an alcoholic
Consider yourself lucky.
He's an alcoholic who is coping and futilely attempting to keep up the appearance that he's not one throughout the whole interaction despite the fact the same shopkeeper sees him do this same song and dance every single day. If you're an alkie, your neighborhood cashier will eventually know it.
The joke is supposed to be surreal because its just an ordinary gentleman quenching his perishing thirst before going to work.
He wants to get something else but suddenly feels very thirsty and has to spend all his money on beverages. A further complication arises when it is implied he may become too sleepy to continue on his way. This is a simple but effective sketch about difficulties life throws in your path while you attempt to accomplish even basic tasks.
It's like how fatties go to McDonald's and order 4 small cokes so the cashier won't think fatso is going to eat all that food by himself. The cashier knows. Everyone knows. Nobody says anything, just to spare the fatty the added shame.
Why didn't he buy his booze in a supermarket?
People like that get easily banned from major supermarkets
people who buy booze everyday? no one's kicked me out, i consistantly support the store.
Did you not see the end of the sketch where he just lays down in front of the store? You can do that shit in small corner shops, but major supermarkets will frick your shit up if you try that
I'm too Maryland to understand this question
Whiter cider is cheaper in offies
T. Student
>that's my bit of lager
Alcoholism is so sad bros. Some woman at my elementary school started showing up to pick up her kids drunk, she had always been lovely. Eventually her husband left her over it and she never saw her kids. Last I saw she was on the bus with three bottles of wine, and then she died not long after at the age of like 35
You still go to elementary school? Underage b&
How did you find out she died? Did she just quit coming to class suddenly?
Liar
>Some woman at my elementary school
underageb&
Working remotely from home and being a functional alcoholic is a bad mix. I do all of my work in half the day and then by around 3pm I'll be having a drink.
Thats not being an alcoholic
Oh gosh, one whole drink? At 3pm? After working all day? You have a problem dude.
"It's the Continental Way, isn't it?"
>2.70 for a loaf of wholemeal, the Telegraph, an apple and a lager beer
it was a different time
on the way home today i got off the bus and swore silently that i wouldn't buy any booze. 3 minutes later as i approached the store i thought how nice it would be to drink some wine with dinner. since buying wine and a good dinner is too expensive for me i am eating a frozen pizza tonight and half the bottle is gone already.
>tfw not remotely addicted to things like alcohol or smoking or drugs but need to coom everyday
find something else to occupy your time, you're probably just bored
What do yanks call an off licence? A liquor store?
Yes! They call it a liquor store!
They call the store that sells liquor a liquor store, instead of the MUCH BETTER AND MORE LOGICAL NAME, off license.
I call it an ABC.
alcohol, beer, cigarettes?
Dept. of Alcoholic Beverage Control
ah
F
A pub is a licensed premises that can sell and serve alcohol. Offies can sell alcohol but cannot serve it. So they’re off licence.
and your nan can sell her clam but she can't get it wet
Well she’s been dead for 20 years so that doesn’t surprise me
In my state (Alabama) only bars and liquor stores (or state-run ABC stores) can sell liquor as they're the only ones usually granted a liquor license. Our grocery stores and convenience stores (everything from gas stations to corner store pharmacies) can get a license for beer and wine, but not liquor. Some US states allow grocery stores to sell liquor like anything else which is cool. Not here, though.
We call them state stores here.
>Go to PA
>Try to buy 3 six packs from the grocery store
>"You can't buy those at this register, you need to go to the beer shop in the corner"
>Go to beer corner
>"You can't buy that many in one transaction. I can ring up these two and then you have to place them beyond that line over there and then I can ring up the other."
It's all fricking stupid.
Wait until you try to buy wine from a gas station at 11:01PM. Sorry sir but we can't sell wine after 11. Feel free to buy six 4lokos with the same volume and % until 2AM tho
why are you buying wine at a gas station you fricking bum
Off licenses sell sweets and stuff too
beer library
I'm in Ireland and I call it a liquor store but all my friends and family always make fun of me for saying that instead of saying off licence. I use a lot of more American centric terms due to the internet.
Sounds like our cultural colonization is going smoothly
It only works on people who spend 24/7 online like me
If you’re in Ireland post a picture of a leprechaun otherwise I don’t believe you
If you’re in Ireland post a picture of a cartoonishly ugly person otherwise I don’t believe you
you just reminded me of Rory Powers who's a Youtuber. he's Irish but also lived in the southern US. interesting to hear him talk sometimes
I call it the liquor store. I've heard all sorts of crazy shit; the package store, the ABC, Total Wine, BevMo, but I just call it da likka sto'
A liquor store is a place specifically to buy alcohol.
Corner shops like in the sketch are for all sorts of things. The cashier at 10am isn't surprised to sell booze at "da likka sto'" (Black person) unlike at a corner shop where they're expecting to sell bread, papers and milk.
i'm a neet who is slowly turning into an alcoholic. any tips from alcoholic anons?
Get a job. The world needs more forklift operators.
Become a career criminal. Go on interstate crime sprees. But DON’T kill anyone!!! You are allowed to rape 2 women as long as they’re prostitutes
Don’t
Do what I did. Try to break your neet-dom by being social and going to parties. Get panic attacks due to social phobia and then have your brain connect the panic attacks to alcohol, causing the taste of alcohol to trigger panic attacks even when not in social situations. Worked like a charm.
I did this but instead of going to parties it was drinking ginger ale and instead of panic attacks it was being too hung over from whiskey gingers. I can't drink ginger ale any more without tasting the bite of alcohol I expect to go with it.
I hate limes because of a similar thing. Buddy was always making rum and cokes with big lime slices in it and it made me nauseas gulping them down. It took me ages to realise I could no longer stand limes in food or drinks because I LOVE lemon in drinks and you'd figure they're similar enough that you can't revile one and love the other.
>going to parties
h-heh y-yeah i’m sure i could find one…
This but with weed. True terror
If you get spooked smoking weed you are just a pussy inherently
get a job first, then you can drink as much as you want. i'm 100% serious. get something to do, then drink to your heart's content. frick the world, drinking is completely understandable but you should at least provide for yourself and be of some use.
its a holiday I just wanna have a few. oh right advice. I mean just get a job unless neetdom is sustaining you financially
Quit drinking alcoholism is way darker than the funny tv shows depict.
Get a job, don't drink ever for any reason.
go to pubs and bars and network with the smokers and you can find a gf or job
keep going. neets deserve to die.
>ran out of booze money Saturday morning
>decided to try to quit drinking again
>have basically been laying in bed unable to sleep watching YouTube videos for the past 48 hours
I don't even necessarily feel that terrible physically beyond above average heart rate and some night sweats, but I feel like hell mentally for letting myself get to this point again
Sometimes I go to my local corner shop and don’t buy any alcohol just to show the guy I can go without it
>loaf of bread, an apple, a newspaper and a can of larger
>so how much is that
>£2.70
those were the days
I go to the same shop all the time. There are two guys, Indian or something relatives. Once the younger one said to me "do you really enjoy this?" talking about the disgusting cider I was buying. I lied and said "yeah if it's cold it's ok". Other than that, never had any issues. They don't care - they just see you as a source of cash.
Those weren't real Indians. When I was an alkie, the liquor store I went to was owned by an OG Indian who was perpetually drunk. He had a severe limp too, the true sign of an alcoholic
oh john it appears this nice-looking pub's just opened
on a day like this
oooo! what a good idea!
>go home and get your shine box
Frick, I can relate to this sketch a lot more than I'd like to admit. Been to shop countless times at the crack of dawn to buy more booze.
Is it really that hard to just not drink?
Do you do poison?