14 seasons and multiple films and SpongeBob doesn't have one love interest the entire time

14 seasons and multiple films and SpongeBob doesn't have one love interest the entire time

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
    What are you suggesting?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he's gay

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's for kids. I didn't care about girls until I was like 12. Girls are the ones who want to kiss boys before then, we don't give a frick.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Its true. Females sexually objectify males first.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I didn't care about girls until I was like 12
      That's not normal, anon.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I knew kids growing up who couldn't watch SpongeBob because their religious parents thought he was gay for Patrick

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I knew kids growing up who couldn't watch SpongeBob because their religious parents thought he was gay for Patrick

      Wait those people exist? Half my childhood was Spongebob, the other half Pokemon.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I personally wasn't allowed to watch Pokemon or DBZ because my church said it was le bad. Then my parents decided that was stupid and let me watch them, but my cousins still weren't allowed so I had to change the channel when they were over. We were all allowed to watch Spongebob but only because my family determined Spongebob was "effeminate but not gay".

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I had a friend whose parents wouldn't allow him to play Pokemon because it was "satanic"

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My mom hated Sabrina the Teenage Witch because she thought it promoted witchcraft. My mom legitimately believes in witchcraft.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Unironically many such cases in the American south. New many people who couldn't watch/read Harry Potter for promoting witchcraft.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe. But my mom isn't a Southern Christian fundie. She's a Muslim from Northern Morocco. A Berber. For some reason, the modern day American idea of witchcraft always came across as very 'reddit' to me, if that makes any sense. My mom always made that North African/African witchcraft she was referring to sound a lot more sinister like

            I used to think that was silly, because my view of witches was shit like the Wizard of Oz and Halloween decorations. But if you think about it from the perspective of someone who believes in them, it's fair. I only realized it when I was talking to a fundamentalist Christian African woman who was describing witch doctors in her home country and how they actually eat people and shrink their heads and shit. If you get into this mindset, it makes sense why they wouldn't want that sort of thing promoted. Even from a practical, non-religious standpoint, because those types of people are evil.

            mentioned, though she never got into specifics. I think that's part of why she hated Sabrina so much. Sabrina was this cute, normalish, all-American girl who happened to be a witch. I guess to her, it would be like depicting Johnny USA, the all-American high school quarterback heartthrob GigaChad as a member of ISIS and making terrorism seem like a totally chill laid back thing.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >I guess to her, it would be like depicting Johnny USA, the all-American high school quarterback heartthrob GigaChad as a member of ISIS and making terrorism seem like a totally chill laid back thing.
              Exactly.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I used to think that was silly, because my view of witches was shit like the Wizard of Oz and Halloween decorations. But if you think about it from the perspective of someone who believes in them, it's fair. I only realized it when I was talking to a fundamentalist Christian African woman who was describing witch doctors in her home country and how they actually eat people and shrink their heads and shit. If you get into this mindset, it makes sense why they wouldn't want that sort of thing promoted. Even from a practical, non-religious standpoint, because those types of people are evil.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >legitimately believes in witchcraft
          It's real

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Witches are real. Witches who believe they can perform witchcraft are real. Witchcraft/magic itself is not real.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Witchcraft/magic itself is not real.
              It's been practiced since the dawn of man there's obviously something to it, it's just not what we think it is

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It's an expression of the human desire for control. People who seethe and lack control come up with copes for it. One of these copes is a belief in magic. This can take the form of witchcraft or sorcery or spirits or divine aid. In reality, you have no control. This is difficult - impossible, even - for some people to admit to themselves. Like, "Your son who died from plague is dead and never coming back". The peasant woman can't admit this to herself or she'll go insane. So she comes up with some cope how she can communicate with the dead. For another example, some butthole's ruined your life. Now your cope is that you can curse his family with black magic. Still not true.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Have you ever met anyone who practices magic? There are many of them outthere.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                That anon never leaves his gooncave

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Of course I have, at least half of women today believe they're "witches" or can divine their fortune through star signs or heal with crystals. It's impossible to not run into magic-believers on a daily basis.

                That anon never leaves his gooncave

                Ah yeah, if you don't believe in magic you have a "gooncave". Makes sense.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I've met a lady who met witches. There's actually whole communities in cities of people who practice this stuff. She used to practice herself.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Down here in south Florida there's a whole city of psychics and witches called Cassadaga

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          so do the majority of 20 year olds with septum piercings

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I knew a woman who would constantly talk about Jesuits and their ties to witchcraft and how Hollywood was named so by the wood they made their wands with.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My Mormon neighbors said SpongeBob was a psyop to make kids stupid

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      When I was growing up I had 2 very close friends who were both heavily christian and one of them loved SpongeBob so much that we still watch it together when we hang out sometimes, and the other friend wasn’t allowed to watch it “because my parents didn’t like how they cuss in that one episode” but after reading your post, I bet that was the real reason kek

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My mom hated Sabrina the Teenage Witch because she thought it promoted witchcraft. My mom legitimately believes in witchcraft.

        Oh I forgot that same friend also couldn’t watch Harry Potter because of le witchcraft

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you realise millennials lying about this moronic shit doesn’t fool people anymore? younger adults know about the finders cult and shit like that, claiming you all have trauma from insane fundie parents isn’t psyopping anyone under 30

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Redditors don’t tend to realise how ridiculous their echo chamber stories come across to everyone else.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Redditors don’t tend to realise how ridiculous their echo chamber stories come across to everyone else.

        I realize it must seem insane to a zoomer who grew up is a pozzed globohomosexual ESG score world where the president preaches about how great homosexuality is, but back in the 90s things were flipped completely around. Most of the politicians who say that today used to say the exact opposite, "Marriage is between a man and a woman". We were raised going to church, and our parents believed whatever the pastor/priest said. It's a different world now. You're raised on an iPad watching TikTok and Elsa/Spiderman videos and told cutting off your dicks and taking hormones is epic and cool. It makes sense that you wouldn't believe it. But it did, in fact, happen. Back in the 90s and early 00s, the religious right controlled culture. It must seem crazy to you the same way segregation seemed crazy to me as a kid in the 90s.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          So things were universally better when the religious right controlled culture?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Obviously

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I think so, yes. I can't think of anything that's better now except medical technology.

            YOU caused all this insanity by habitually and ceaselessly attacking those people. they weren’t insane, and you weren’t traumatised. i’m not buying it. those fundies were the sane people and you’re the mentally ill ones inventing fictional stories about your childhood

            >they were right but it also didn't happen, also it was your fault society collapsed because you wanted to watch Spongebob as an 8 year old
            Please take your meds.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          YOU caused all this insanity by habitually and ceaselessly attacking those people. they weren’t insane, and you weren’t traumatised. i’m not buying it. those fundies were the sane people and you’re the mentally ill ones inventing fictional stories about your childhood

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I am a millennial and I agree with you moron. You have hardcore atheists putting on drag shows for toddlers and for some reason i’m meant to care about some soccermom seething about pokemon 30 years ago.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              pokemon unironcially created a ton of trannies. go on their board if you don’t believe me

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you know if you fricking losers spent as much time on literally ANYTHING else in your lives as much as you spend obsessing about trannies, you'd all probably be confident and successful men in your day to day

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >I'm not allowed to talk about how silly it was that my mom wouldn't let me watch spongebob or pokemon because drag shows exist

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        fricking dumbass zoomer

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >dude I know secularism directly correlates with every horrendous political process occurring right now, but my christcuck parents totally beat me for reading a science book! look at all these reddit posts saying the same thing!!!

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            This. When you actually look into it the satanic panic was 100% a media machine. The people complaining about dnd early on had nothing to do with christianity at all for example. I’m sure it happened with a couple of people, but when you see literally millions of posts online with the same incredulous stories I start to smell bullshit. It’s people reacting to a media smear campaign and having it willed into their own memories when there’s zero direct evidence for any of it.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Literally nobody ITT said any of that you fricking dumbass troony. Nobody cares what you read on reddit. Go back there and while you're at it, just have a nice day. Fricking spastic.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My parents were pretty normal, but I went to a kid’s birthday once where we all hung out at an arcade before seeing the newest Harry Potter movie.
        One kid said his parents wouldn’t allow it and sat outside for the entire movie.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why should he

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sandy?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He pines for Sandy's attention and approval in many episodes and it doesn't exactly seem platonic

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She's more of a confidant than a love interest

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/vHZXk3h.jpg

        14 seasons and multiple films and SpongeBob doesn't have one love interest the entire time

        What about Mindy in the movie?

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    explicitly went on a date with sandy

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he is confirmed to be asexual by his late creator.
    >you will now chudsperg out as well as cope and seethe

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He's asexual in the sense that sexuality isn't a concept that has any bearing in the show for obvious reasons. Something like the Sesame Street characters are "asexual" in the same way.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Well, sure, but he's also quite literally asexual. There was a gag in one of the early seasons showing Spongebob reproducing asexually by budding.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          he was also watching the equivalent of porn in an early gag. in the end it doesn't matter and shouldn't matter. he's a funny little sponge man.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >watching real footage of an anenome moving around on the seafloor
            >gary walks in and meows
            >"GARY!"
            >"I was just flipping to the uh, sports channels."
            god early spongebob was so fricking good

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sponges are litterally asexual moron

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why does a cartoon character need a love interest?

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    every time i look at that derpy flanderized post S2 spongebob i wanna shot him and burn him!

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Americans parents are so weird.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ripped his pants

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I KNOW I shouldn’t mope around, I shouldn’t curse,
      But the pain feels so much worse

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the original sigma

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he creampied the frick out of sandy on god

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He is asexual, which is actually real within sponges unlike humans

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what did this thread devolve into. why are you all like this.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Spongebob never had a love interest because he's asexual so we had to find something else to talk about. And I guess that's... Christian fundamentalist parents. I would've preferred discussing why a Krab is the father to a whale, personally.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Spongebob is asexual
        He watches porn.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He was just looking for the sports channel.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sandy and Pearl letting him hit on the dl bruh

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sponges can reproduce asexually.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that isn't the same as being in love or having a muse

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Watching Spongebob after Hindenburg left

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    jesus christ this thread
    do americans really?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      /pol/tards really can make any thread devolve into schizophrenic babbling nobody gives a shit about huh. its like i'm walking down a sidewalk and some naked homeless man covered in shit ambushes me from the shadows and has to lecture me on how all the godless heathens are forcing kids to chop off their dicks and breasts and attend drag shows. bro its a spongebob thread.

      >muttmericans start political sperging about their fictional medieval childhoods
      >someone says that didn’t happen
      >WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU… JUST WOW

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        seething about americans and liberals today are we. very daring and original.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >moronic seething troony schizo having meltdowns over irrelevant reddit posts is also a brown turd worlder
        Wow. Color me surprised! Go eat your fricking beans and frick off, Pablo.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Europe is far, far more first world than muttland on every metric

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You don't live in Europe and you're not White. You're a shitskin crying about nonsense and whining about Americans on a website made by Americans in a thread about an American cartoon. Please please please kill your fricking self already, you are a complete waste of space.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I am and i’m doubtless whiter than you. Which is why you little beaners get so insecure about this stuff. Post hand

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Holá overcompensating spic

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    /pol/tards really can make any thread devolve into schizophrenic babbling nobody gives a shit about huh. its like i'm walking down a sidewalk and some naked homeless man covered in shit ambushes me from the shadows and has to lecture me on how all the godless heathens are forcing kids to chop off their dicks and breasts and attend drag shows. bro its a spongebob thread.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You brought it up

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He’s very excited to meet and impress Sandy in the very first episode.
    He goes to her house and brings her flowers. That’s a love interest.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Right wingers are a fricking disease. Ruining another comfy thread. This is why you lose every generation- nobody wants to be constantly harassed you you fascist freaks

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >it’s another /misc/c**t incel thread

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    True sigma grindset

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I vaguely remember an episode of Plankton telling Spongebob to be more assertive, but he misheard it as insertive, and then there was a hard cut to Spongebob fricking 2b. So there's that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw you know exactly what video this anon is referencing

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      who's 2b

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he's a sponge

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I thought he liked sandy

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        kino

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He was into sandy

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