More about this amazing movie.
So much hidden secrets
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20 years later still finding out
More about this amazing movie.
So much hidden secrets
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Holy shit
such lore
All those shitty dwarves blended together. They didn't bother to characterize any other than Thorin
Having only seen the trilogy once in theaters and not caring to re-watch it, I remember
>Thorin
>The wise advisor (left of OP pic)
>the competent, angry bald fighter with tattooed scalp
>the completely normal human archer dwarf who romances an elf
>the fat comic relief with the mustache braid-loop
That's it, but I think it's a good chunk of them, right?
I wish I was a manlet romancing an Evangeline Lilly giantess.
the chill one who catches bilbo sneaking away twice, and sees through his bullshit both times
Irish guy
Hearing horn guy (guy on right's dad)
Human guy's brother
Guy with the forked beard who had the red knife
They all looked like shit
They made them all moronic looking just to differentiate but it didn't even help
Try reading the fricking book then. The films are leagues better for characterisation
Book makes no difference either
>Thorin
>two young brothers
>two brothers who have the only tinderbox in the group
>fat guy
I forget the rest.
John, Paul, George and Ringo.
You forgot Balin, the “One who sometimes gets dialogue so you remember there are other dwarves”. They even kept that in the movie
Those stupid dwarves were a list of names in the book.
Pretty book accurate then.
There were so many good places to expand on the book but instead the added pointless orc fights, the weird Killi elf romance and fricking Alfrid Lickspittle. I like what they did with Bard and Balin but with three movies they had more than enough time for all the dwarfs.
Leaving out the Beorn introduction in the theatrical and even the fan edits deprives us of some fun insight into the company. What's more annoying is that's it's more book-accurate than massive battling worms.
Eh it's a children's movie, characterization doesn't matter too much
Or at all apparently. Bilbo, Gandalf and Gollum are the only ones with any real characterization. Even Smaug in the movie was a bit lackluster.
Book accurate.
I've read the book and the all looked the same to the point that I just ignored the names and replaced them with "background dwarf" in my mind
Just like the silly one-off children book then.
Hilarious seeing you guys shit on Hackson when Tolkeen is guilty of creating the most one dimensional characters in fantasy.
Gilgamesh and Achilles are also "one dimensional characters".
And? What point are you trying to prove here senpai
It was never Tolkien's intention to write "realistic" characters. They're intentionally archetypes, with just enough nuance to be more interesting than the countless ripoffs that followed.
>It was never Tolkien's intention to write "realistic" characters. They're intentionally archetypes, with just enough nuance to be more interesting than the countless ripoffs that followed.
So Hackson's flicks did the dwarves just right.
He also didn't write them as burping morons, with one of them looking very handsome and trying to frick an elf.
How can that work? He's so tiny.
One made a book for children the other mad a gorillion dollar Hollywood blockbuster
You should read the hobbit. Tolkien doesnt even try to characterise anyone.
>bofur, bombur, blomblur, bumber, booba, kili, wili, fili, jili, balin, blalin, marlin, seth mcfarlane
I thought the film did a really could job of saving tolkien trash there
different coloured hats would have helped
And name tags, like in McDonalds.
for me, it's the rankin-bass dwarves and the delightful folk music renditions of tolkein's songs
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15 birds!
In five fir trees!
the greatest adventure really hits hard
The whole score in that movie is kino. Vastly superior to Hackson.
These* guys are those guys.
Wait, so Bignose and Spadeface were the ones in that room? Why wasn't Gandalf more upset? That heartless bastard, after traveling with them for all that time.
it had been almost 80 years since he'd seen them
>is an immortal angel who was born at the start of the universe and was revived and upgraded by the literal God and creator of the universe himself
>80 years ago is somehow significant
It wasn't all of them, just a couple of them went on this stupid, obviously doomed to fail trip to retake Moria.
Because he's several thousand years old, he watches mortals die all the time. He knew these two idiots went on a suicide mission a couple decades ago and never came back, any grieving he needs to do is done and dusted.
Gandalf popped in and out of their party a bunch of times, and he was only ever using them to eliminate a potential ally of Sauron's.
So as far as Gandalf was concerned these were just some random expendable contractors? What a terrible boss, leaves halfway through the quest to hang out with his mates and doesn't return until the end to share in the glory.
Gandalf is an immortal angel who's addicted to weed, he doesn't give a frick about a couple Cinemaphile manlets he knew 80 years ago
Gandalf has been in middle earth for 2000 years. He traveled with those dwarves for like a year and it was more of a business relation than a fellowship by choice. Those dwarves also kind of behaved like dicks and their fellowship parted on semi-bad terms.
Can't expect Gandalf to give a shit about everyone he had contact with at some point.
How many can you name?
Bifur
Bombur
Fili
Kili
Thorin
Dorin
Nori
beardy boy
Tattoo head
Antisemitic stereotype guy
idk, bombur is my spirit animal.
Why cannot chuds into subtlety?
That's rich coming from you.
LotR is just Harry Potter for conservatives.
>Harry Potter for conservatives.
isn't SHE a radical feminist? i.e. a conservative by modern standard?
LotR is for normal people, specifically written for Western Christians though
You're equating conservatives with normal people. Just because we think it's wrong to roll over and let a backwards medieval barbarian culture usurp your country and people, and that it's wrong to tell mentally ill people they'll feel better if they get their wieners cut off and a lifelong subscription to troony pills, doesn't mean I'm what we would have called a conservative just ten years ago.
Don't you have to cut yourself because someone mentioned the evil wizard game again?
>Antisemitic stereotype guy
Fake nose dwarf
Tough dwarf
Aargorn lite dwarf
Good actor dwarf
Cringe hair dwarf
Irish bad actor dwarf
Handsome normal dwarf
Half normal dearf
Bomber
Older dwarf who isn't the good actor
They seemed like a likeable bunch.
7/10 would have dinner with
>Brofur
grumpy
sleepy
dopey
jackie chan
Bofur, bombur, thorin
>porkins
bifur, bofur, bombur, kili, fili, oin, gloin, dwalin, balin, ori, dori, nori, thorin oakenshjeld
how'd i do
I chuckle'd.
Appreciate the effort
Thorin, Balin, Fili and Kili (though I don't remember which is which)
I gave it a genuine attempt.
It's funny because it's close but also wrong
for some reason Durin is the funniest
the more I look at it the funnier it gets
is the one in the top left even a dwarf? he doesnt even have a beard
also: biffur bofur bombur tiffy liffy keely koofy thain glain gloin thorin borin and gimli
They designed him to be just a short but chiseled human so he could believable try to bang an Elf because of course the prequel also needs a shoehorned inter-species relationship.
Oin. Gloin. Biffor. Boffor. Bombor. Fili. Kili
Thorin
Borin
Snorin
Bilford
Horin
Wilford
Stalin
Glóin
Also gave it an honest shot. I've only ever watched the Tolkien fan-edit that makes it into one movie, but my kids listen to the audiobook when we're driving so I remembered most of the names.
midget
midget
midget
midget
midget
midget who died in lotr
midget who died in lotr #2
midget
king midget
midget
midget
oh look, a midget
Dopey
Doc
Bashful
Sneezy
Happy
Grumpy
Sleepy
>I'M JUST KEN
Thorin Oakenshield. Bifur, Bilbo, Bombur, Bofur, Botenks, Bob the builder
thorin
Fili
Kili
Thorin
Doc
Thumper
Dorin
Nori
I only know the names because I read the book as a kid. The movie was for people with no male genitalia.
feedin
and
sneedin
suckin
and
frickin
the
sign
it
is
a
subtle
joke.
Who the frick is this guy? I have seen this trilogy on cinema theaters and I have no recollection of him. I only remember that white orc boss, legolas hoping on falling stones, these dwarves in barrels going down a river bank, and that smug dragon
that's Kyle
Fricking kyle
It's Handsome Jack, the Debonair Dwarf.
That’s Groin the dwarf that fricks
Groin was Gloin's father
That's Hoddy the hot dwarf
doesnt it defeat the point of their shoehorned interracial romance to make that one dwarf look completely different from all the other dwarves, to the point that hes pretty much human? they're saying "love has no bounds" while doing behind the scenes plastic surgery to make him look frickable
I think that hackson added the romance subplot in just to spite Christopher Tolkien who absolutely HATED the movies
Had to fill up an extra movies worth of shit with something. Remember, it was only supposed to be 2 movies.
ori nori thoring
I watched all three films when they came out, and I can only vaguely remember a couple of scenes from them. Have a better memory of reading the actual book almost a decade prior to their release, don't even remember if I enjoyed any of them or not. Worth re-watching? How do they hold up vs other IPs which have been butchered in more recent times?
Watch the maple edit, anon
left to right
top row: Benjamin, Ari, gayin, Yehudah
2nd row: Rabbi Schleimann, Shlomo, Rabbi Molochowitz
3rd row: Shem, David, Boaz
Bottom row: Mohel Mitzvah B'peh, Chayim, Azriel
Goomba Josh Mike Karl
Shlomo Droopy Abram
Rick Thorin Baldin
Nurin Bombur Geordi
we eating good sno wite bros
The bald one was the only chad out of the group
Was he the one with an ax stuck in his head?
Thorin, Gloin, Ori, Dori, Nori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Dwalin, Balin.
Bilbo Baggins!
Balbo Biggins!
Bablo Bravins!
Barble Bapkins!
Bazbo Bibbons!
Bulbo Buttons!
Boffo Brappins!
I can’t get over some looking cartoony and some looking like humans
.....but how many space Marines would take to -simply- walk into Mordor with the ring?
A Neophyte could get it done in half a day.
Bro. Spesh Muhreens get corrupted by minor artifacts of Chaos all the time. The One Ring is like a major artifact of Tzeentach. They will succumb within minutes.
what about a tyranid then
If they were infested marines they could blow the place up quite easily.
>nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure
MAH WEE LAD GIMLI
If they shoe-horned Legolas in the Hobbit they should have had a scene with young Gimli, maybe as a lieutenant to Dain
They wanted to, but the dude refused because getting in and out of makeup was apparently a big hassle
i think he was allergic to the latex
That makes Galadriel a fricking liar. In the opening monologue
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowledge.
That's because nobody knew that Sauron actually poured his own essence into the One Ring. The thought it "just" a powerful magical artifact. Which is why Isildur was allowed to take it as wergild, blood ransom.
That explains why the elves didn't wage war against him over the ring.
>allowed to take it
I think the Elves knew exactly what the Ring was, since they are all linked. That's why they didn't use their three rings because they knew Sauron would be able to mess with them. If it was just a random ring then why would Elrond be so insistent that Isildur destroy it in Mt Doom, the only place that would work?
I remember doing this as a kid, then I played the original Mechwarrior on DoS, shit was cash.
seeing the mechwarrior 2 intro for the first time on a demo cd was better than any film i've seen in the last 20 years.
sat there with my friend, replaying it several times.
same goes for the c&c red alert intro with the russian music.
i had and still have somewhere a little stick with a spiky ball on the end that came free from a magazine and was for cleaning inside the mouseball cavity
>ywn take broken mice from the computer lab just to fling the roller balls at your bullies
good times.
I miss these threads
Nobody will miss you chud
yes very good.. but what was their tax policy?
How the FRICK did Gimli not know that moria had fallen SO LONG AGO that his relatives had become dusty skeletons?
There were only 7 telephones in the entire world and all were being tapped by the gloweye.
saruman the first full remote worker MelCorp
When you live hundreds or thousands of miles away and the world has no cars, no planes, no internet or telephones it suddenly makes it a lot harder to keep in touch. Add to that the dwarfs being a folk that like staying in their cave kingdoms. They probably don't have much inclination to go visit.
It is hard to imagine, with how moronic The Hobbit made them
I saw the extended Hobbit trilogy last week and it was honestly pretty boring, is the fanedit that turns it all into a 4 hour long movie any good?
I think the biggest issue is lack of memorable scenes and dialogue.
Most of the fan edits cut out the Gandalf/Dol Goldur stuff, all the non-essential elf stuff, comic relief and a majority of the action scenes and the actions scenes that are still present are cut down. Most of them aim to make the films about Bilbo rather than the dwarfs. The only one I've seen is the Maple cut or something and its pretty good. Much better than sitting through all 9 hours.
I daresay there's too many mountains in lotr. Everyone has their own mountain. Sauron, different dwarven groups, Smaug, Minas Tirith is built into a mountain, Helms Deep, elves
fili
kili
sili
bili
mili
nili
gili
jili
zili
pili
hili
tili
wili
Good. Hobbit movies sucked.
Try the M4 edit. It's pretty good.
I fricking hate fantasy dwarves.
So you prefer real dwarfs like Warwick Davis?
yes
t. midget
The guy on the right was pathetic and ruined the Hobit
The dwarves looked like shit in hobbit
>Thorin calls for an assault with his strongest dwarves
>It's him, the one warrior dwarf, and the two human looking dwarves
The two human looking dwarfs are actually his nephews and by far the youngest of the dwarfs, the movies don't explain that very well for some reason
>that one dwarf that looks pretty much human just because they couldnt have him have an elf love interest while looking goofy
Always took me off the movies
I feel like you could make a great movie about the doomed expedition to reclaim Moria
Whoa, wasteeeeeed! Can I get some??
I can't get over how fricking funny Ori looks
CHU
EEPS
XBOX
TURN HOBBIT ON
XBOX TURN ON NBA 2K
How stupid are people? It’s in the book
Did Gandalf ever have a wife?
pretty sure he is gay.
> sequel to a children's book is more mature and most of the characters fricking die
Based
>beardless dwarves
FUKING SHITTT
YOU GOD DAMN HACK
YOU CAN NEVER MAKE A MOVIE AS GOOD AS LOTR EVER AGAIN
Well the women don't have beards. Or do they?
>hidden secret
It’s not hidden at all
I don't understand this one
the dwarf kingdom in the hobbit isn't moria or am I wrong?
Dwarven kingdoms have a nasty habit of being lost to dragons and goblins.
it's not moria, but after the hobbit some of the dwarves in the main cast went to moria to take it back and we see their dead bodies in lotr
source?
Lord Of The Rings you fricking idiot.
did they say especially that it was the dwarfs from the hobbit?
Hard Mode: How many can you name (left to right). Answers in followup
ANSWERS TO
I know Thorin was supposed to be the oldest dwarf in the book but when I read it I couldn't picture him as an old-ass man like he is here
This is the crack troop of infiltrators and fighters who were going to reclaim their gold from a dragon.
All the dwarves
Bilbo
Gandalf
why are they all israeli?
Why do you guys insist on pretending the Hobbitses [trilogy] is bad movies
They were good and the extended editions make them better