I watched them all at once a couple weeks ago. It's pretty hilarious actually, you can see an insane lack of planning over the course of half a decade distilled down to a few hours. The first movie is totally bland, the second tries to do something innovative but utterly fails, while the third retcons the second as much as it can while going back to the bland formula of the first (but somehow made even worse).
The quipshit and dialogue just gets worse and worse as well.
To elaborate on this, I think the funniest moment is when they do the exact same "The Rebellion calls out for to the galaxy for aid!" moment at the end of the second and third movies.
At the end of the second nobody comes, and it's meant to be a sad reality check for the rebellion.
At the end of the third movie they all come to their aid. But why? Nothing has fricking changed.
>But why? Nothing has fricking changed.
the final order destroyed a planet and everyone felt threatened. at the end of last jedi, the first order was just destroying the rebels... although they did destroy a few planets in force awakens. i don't know -- i'm grasping at straws here.
The only one that at least manages to be interesting is The Last Jedi. It still sucks but there was an attempt and a few impressive moments. The Abrams shit is irredeemable.
Something I never see mentioned about these piece of shit films is that by the end of this film(which to be honest I don't think many people with brains made it to, and I only did because I worked at a theater during its run) they give Chewbacca a medal that he didn't get during A New Hope. Except this medal comes after literally all his friends are dead/MIA. It's the equivalent of receiving the Medal of Honor for watching all your friends die but rather than taking the PTSD veteran route of smacking the worthless metal out of the butthole eye alien lady's hand he's satisfied
Why was butthole eye lady even giving him a medal?
In the first movie she's just some random lady who knows people and runs a cantina. In the second it's the same thing, she knows an elite hacker for the main characters to find. In the third she's some senior member for the resistance? I guess they were desperate for members after being reduced to like a dozen people at the end of TLJ
I think a lot of leftoids were upset because they hired Lupita Nyongo for some big diversity inclusion, and then they make her a CGI midget and give her about 30 seconds of screen time.
What the frick were they thinking with that honestly.
She's one of very few sexy full-blooded African actresses and they reduce her to an ugly voiceover role? They should've got some older, established actress for that role since she was meant to be some font of knowledge with connections across the galaxy.
No one cares /misc/brain. I'm on the left and I have never heard anyone give a shit about gay-ass identity politics other than Millennial dog-mommies on Twatter.
Something I never see mentioned about these piece of shit films is that by the end of this film(which to be honest I don't think many people with brains made it to, and I only did because I worked at a theater during its run) they give Chewbacca a medal that he didn't get during A New Hope. Except this medal comes after literally all his friends are dead/MIA. It's the equivalent of receiving the Medal of Honor for watching all your friends die but rather than taking the PTSD veteran route of smacking the worthless metal out of the butthole eye alien lady's hand he's satisfied
# >Why was butthole eye lady even giving him a medal?
Because Chewie never received a medal onscreen in ANH, so JJ wanted to "correct" that.
I watched all the disney wars media but episode 9 i couldn't finish kept falling asleep. genuinely a 3/10 movie. Even force awakens is a 6/10 and 8 is a 7/10. This movie was so bad though.
Force Awakens is not a 6.
It is genuinely one of the worst film experiences I've ever had and made me realise that Disney only made it to get people to go to a fricking Theme Park
no, they are all completely insincere blockbuster schlock worse than Skyscraper by the Rock.
I didn't go see any of the other films because I knew they would somehow be worse.
TFA is a 1/10. The 1 I give because when the characters are on the screen the worldbuilding is decent but not memorable.
that is 100% not what you thought when the film was new. cut the shit
Force Awakens is not a 6.
It is genuinely one of the worst film experiences I've ever had and made me realise that Disney only made it to get people to go to a fricking Theme Park
I think it's more a case of TFA being a 4/10 and TLJ a 5/10
no, they are all completely insincere blockbuster schlock worse than Skyscraper by the Rock.
I didn't go see any of the other films because I knew they would somehow be worse.
TFA is a 1/10. The 1 I give because when the characters are on the screen the worldbuilding is decent but not memorable.
TLJ might even be a 5.5 or a 6, it definitely has potential even though it ultimately didn't deliver on it. TFA was a 3 *at best,* there was literally not a single scene in the entire movie worth watching.
>TFA was a 3 *at best,* there was literally not a single scene in the entire movie worth watching.
Yeah actually I think you're right. I would never want to watch it again, I don't think there's anything I really liked about it.
I been watching alias recently and I have come to realize that jj abrams is a hack who can't tell a meaningful story to save his life. Who ever started the idea that he is better suited for star wars because of his star trek movies was an idiot. Those star trek movies are terrible even as a star wars movie. When tfa was announced and he was the director, it should have been a huge red flag.
I mean in a good execution of a sequel trilogy, you could still have a throne room scene. Rian's throne room scene hardly looks anything like the one in RotJ, because its devoid of any meaning other than a surprise gotcha moment.
>implying she wasn't possessed
After the battle is over, Rey goes and buries Luke's lightsaber at the Lars family homestead where Luke grew up. But Luke never told her where he grew up. She had no way of knowing that was his family home. Yet Palpatine would have known.
And then Rey flicks a switch on the old staff she'd been carrying all along and it turns out to be a yellow lightsaber staff like what the Jedi Temple guards carried. Again, Rey didn't know that, but Palpy would recognize what it was.
she just made the staff into a lightsaber. By that point she’d used one multiple times, I’m sure she knows how they work. And they’re never going to let anything interesting be done with Rey. She just sucks.
I liked the idea they had with luke being a failure because it sort of justifies the worse things anakin had to go through to reach the same conclusion. I just think tlj executed it in the worse way possible
I'm so glad I haven't watched the sequels, every screencap I see posted here makes them look like absolute shit
I watched them all at once a couple weeks ago. It's pretty hilarious actually, you can see an insane lack of planning over the course of half a decade distilled down to a few hours. The first movie is totally bland, the second tries to do something innovative but utterly fails, while the third retcons the second as much as it can while going back to the bland formula of the first (but somehow made even worse).
The quipshit and dialogue just gets worse and worse as well.
To elaborate on this, I think the funniest moment is when they do the exact same "The Rebellion calls out for to the galaxy for aid!" moment at the end of the second and third movies.
At the end of the second nobody comes, and it's meant to be a sad reality check for the rebellion.
At the end of the third movie they all come to their aid. But why? Nothing has fricking changed.
>But why? Nothing has fricking changed.
the final order destroyed a planet and everyone felt threatened. at the end of last jedi, the first order was just destroying the rebels... although they did destroy a few planets in force awakens. i don't know -- i'm grasping at straws here.
The only one that at least manages to be interesting is The Last Jedi. It still sucks but there was an attempt and a few impressive moments. The Abrams shit is irredeemable.
>there was an attempt
Yes, in being moronic
ok so which one of them was anakin then?
are they both anakin at the same time?
Who would make whom cum first, Rey or Ms. Marvel?
whoever had to look at ms marvel naked would be unable to cum so I guess she would win by defauly
idk, I'd cum.
>I am all the Sith
>not having him say "I am the Sith" like how he says that he is the senate
Something I never see mentioned about these piece of shit films is that by the end of this film(which to be honest I don't think many people with brains made it to, and I only did because I worked at a theater during its run) they give Chewbacca a medal that he didn't get during A New Hope. Except this medal comes after literally all his friends are dead/MIA. It's the equivalent of receiving the Medal of Honor for watching all your friends die but rather than taking the PTSD veteran route of smacking the worthless metal out of the butthole eye alien lady's hand he's satisfied
Why was butthole eye lady even giving him a medal?
In the first movie she's just some random lady who knows people and runs a cantina. In the second it's the same thing, she knows an elite hacker for the main characters to find. In the third she's some senior member for the resistance? I guess they were desperate for members after being reduced to like a dozen people at the end of TLJ
A good question - for another time.
*sigh* somehow, butthole eye lady has returned
I think a lot of leftoids were upset because they hired Lupita Nyongo for some big diversity inclusion, and then they make her a CGI midget and give her about 30 seconds of screen time.
What the frick were they thinking with that honestly.
She's one of very few sexy full-blooded African actresses and they reduce her to an ugly voiceover role? They should've got some older, established actress for that role since she was meant to be some font of knowledge with connections across the galaxy.
No one cares /misc/brain. I'm on the left and I have never heard anyone give a shit about gay-ass identity politics other than Millennial dog-mommies on Twatter.
>I'm on the left
no you're not, homosexual. you just get mad that people are richer than you. that doesn't make you a leftoid.
#
>Why was butthole eye lady even giving him a medal?
Because Chewie never received a medal onscreen in ANH, so JJ wanted to "correct" that.
he never needed a medal. he was happy just going home and absolutely slaying some midget ewok pussy with his 18 inch kashyyyyk dick
>kashyyyk dyyyk
ftfy
Apparently it's supposed to be Han's, not that that ever came across onscreen.
I watched all the disney wars media but episode 9 i couldn't finish kept falling asleep. genuinely a 3/10 movie. Even force awakens is a 6/10 and 8 is a 7/10. This movie was so bad though.
Force Awakens is not a 6.
It is genuinely one of the worst film experiences I've ever had and made me realise that Disney only made it to get people to go to a fricking Theme Park
that is 100% not what you thought when the film was new. cut the shit
I hated Force Awakens when it came out. You're insane.
im just not buying it. everyone sang praise for the movie when it came out, even on Cinemaphile.
Then your opinion is correct and nobody can possibly disagree.
I think it's more a case of TFA being a 4/10 and TLJ a 5/10
no, they are all completely insincere blockbuster schlock worse than Skyscraper by the Rock.
I didn't go see any of the other films because I knew they would somehow be worse.
TFA is a 1/10. The 1 I give because when the characters are on the screen the worldbuilding is decent but not memorable.
*off the screen
TLJ might even be a 5.5 or a 6, it definitely has potential even though it ultimately didn't deliver on it. TFA was a 3 *at best,* there was literally not a single scene in the entire movie worth watching.
>TFA was a 3 *at best,* there was literally not a single scene in the entire movie worth watching.
Yeah actually I think you're right. I would never want to watch it again, I don't think there's anything I really liked about it.
I been watching alias recently and I have come to realize that jj abrams is a hack who can't tell a meaningful story to save his life. Who ever started the idea that he is better suited for star wars because of his star trek movies was an idiot. Those star trek movies are terrible even as a star wars movie. When tfa was announced and he was the director, it should have been a huge red flag.
Rian already ripped off the throne room scene from RotJ so JJ had to steal the final battle scene from Endgame.
I mean in a good execution of a sequel trilogy, you could still have a throne room scene. Rian's throne room scene hardly looks anything like the one in RotJ, because its devoid of any meaning other than a surprise gotcha moment.
it gets repetitive, like he also had a twin sunsets scene in TLJ, yet JJ also has a twin sunsets scene
well thats a little more specific, but a throne room scene is vague enough that you can do all sorts of things
>Strike me down, girl!
>NOOOOOOOO NOT LIKE THAT
>implying she wasn't possessed
After the battle is over, Rey goes and buries Luke's lightsaber at the Lars family homestead where Luke grew up. But Luke never told her where he grew up. She had no way of knowing that was his family home. Yet Palpatine would have known.
And then Rey flicks a switch on the old staff she'd been carrying all along and it turns out to be a yellow lightsaber staff like what the Jedi Temple guards carried. Again, Rey didn't know that, but Palpy would recognize what it was.
she just made the staff into a lightsaber. By that point she’d used one multiple times, I’m sure she knows how they work. And they’re never going to let anything interesting be done with Rey. She just sucks.
I liked the idea they had with luke being a failure because it sort of justifies the worse things anakin had to go through to reach the same conclusion. I just think tlj executed it in the worse way possible
It's just baffling looking at TROS when Duel of the Fates would have clearly been a much better movie
Thats an anime style ending the sequels suck.
Reminder that the man who wrote this has an Oscar for screenwriting
I think he was put under some bullshit time constraint for it. JJ and the crew had to have it done from scratch in a year
This scene was glorious. It's like two kids playfighting trying to one-up each other with their imaginary superpowers.
>I am all the sith!
>And I...I am rubber and you are glue
>behold the power of TWO SWORDS