It was alright. The definition of an alright movie. Not as woke compared to the other two. The story is probably not as well suited for a feature film compared to the two previous, most famous Christie stories, so it kinda feels disappointing by the end.
only poirot that matters
also best japp too
and 'Astings
I'm never gonna watch it just tell me who did it and where and with what
The mom
In the bedroom
With poison
You're mum with my peepee in your dads bum lmao
damn
Sneed at Chucks by sucking and fricking.
It felt way less epic and interesting than the other too despite the less "woke" aspects
They need to forget about the source material and make original stories with this dude
The only good things about these movies are taken from the books. If they make original stories it's just gonna be endless woke slop.
this
you end up with shit like glass onion
>glass onion
yikes
>They need to forget about the source material and make original stories with this dude
This was pretty much an original story apparently, never read the book though
>less "woke" aspects
>Venice if full of black people
>in 1947
it is less woke, at least compared to Death on The Nile. No Black folk in the cast, you only see a few niglets running around which is dumb but a small price to pay by todays' standards
Can the pollen of poisonous flowers be poisonous and also turn the honey poisonous?
Yes.
that's how lcd is made
hallucinogenics on a mushroom that are destilled and soaked into paper
I never knew tv screens were so difficult to produce
hwy at least it's all natural, easy to recycle
>BBCs adaption of Murder is Easy is airing over Christmas
Christiebros, we can't stop winning
>Murder was the case is easy
do brits not notice that black and "asians", as they call them, are over over over represented in their media?
>Over represented
Blacks have always been an accepted part of upper class society, didn't you know
sheeeit
in reality that lady would have called the police to arrest that Black person who somehow got on the white peoples train and robber a gentlemen off his clothes
they've got "BIPOC" "black indigenous people of color" a catch all term
they've got asians aka pakis and pajeets
they've got east asians aka nips and chinks
they've got mailboxes - muslims in burqas
everyone is a paki if they're brown
everyone is nigerian if they're black
everyone from north america is a yank even if canadian, especially funny because canadians get so mad about it
people over there are slower to notice, but are starting to notice it since BLM was imported, especially since blacks are ~3% of the UK population and not even ~15% like US
we wuz Romans n shiet
at least choose a better looking homie
The Mystery of the Missing Penny-Farthing starring Inspector Loquavious Golliwog
That's the most moronic gorilla looking Black person I've ever seen. The Case of the Missing TV. homie can find clues but not his dad.
Holy frick can Briton not put on a Black person in literally every show for once
specifically raceswapping every protagonist of everything with a very ugly Black person
I'm not watching this nigslop.
das rite
ayo hol up, so yo be telling we wuz Poirotz n shiet?
>A very clear chink called Mary Elizabeth Jamie Smith
>Why the FRICK would the mom call a fricking medium meeting, if she was bleeding money, and would also attract attention when she was fricking clear
>why didn't the mom, nor the police officer, reacted to each other, when he was the lead fricking men and they should have very vivid and clear emotions towards eachother, if the case was so important for the cop and it's been only a year
>Why would the fricking assistants be suspects??? they had 0 fricking reason to do ANYTHING there, the "oh she run so they are guilty" was so fricking forced
>The crime method was alright
>The bees in the basement practically near water is stupid and unrealistic
A very, very meh movie
The worst offender in my opinion is being part of a soft trilogy art I guess? I didn't watched the middle movie and felt awfully left out of important information for like 50min, untill the medium says Poirot lost someone
>Why the FRICK would the mom call a fricking medium meeting, if she was bleeding money, and would also attract attention when she was fricking clear
She thought the medium was blackmailing her so she called her to kill her.
>I didn't watched the middle movie and felt awfully left out of important information for like 50min, untill the medium says Poirot lost someone
These are all anthological stories and have no relation to one another. The middle movie is mega woke thou so it's shouldn't been seen anyway.
>so she called her to kill her.
What? No she didn't, the medium called her, if I recall
And still doesn't explain why would she make a medium session with lots of people, like who invited the female writter? The mom or the medium?
It's all so loosely connected that I dunno
>and have no relation to one another.
They kinda do I guess, in the train movie the guy was eager to help and on this one he was like, emotionally destroyed and I didn't get why, and assume it's something that happened in the middle movie
Still, I feel a decent movie would outright give me a couple lines on why he was retired, at the fricking start of the movie
>and assume it's something that happened in the middle movie
It's not, they have no relation, they just made Poirot retired in this film randomly.
>they just made Poirot retired in this film randomly
wow lol
But they didn't tho
The medium clearly opens a wound when she talks about how he lost someone and there's a flash of a girl! I'm not crazy it was on the movie
They just randomly shove in his war flashbacks in every movie for some forced character complexity. There is no relation.
A reminder that the film has literally nothing to do with the original story. I don't know why they even cite it as a basis of any kind. It's set in England, there are no 'ghosts', no honey, no part of the story is similar in any way. The murder, the characters, the motives, the reveal - everything is completely different. Did they need the "based on" line for some sort of legitimacy? It's a scam in that case.
Going over this unrelated, original film, it's pretty dumb; which is why you should follow the novels written by the famous author and don't just come up with your own shit under the pretense of her name. Why would this thin middle aged woman be strong enough to throw people over balconies, strong enough to hold a man twice her size inside a bucket. That she would somehow alone be smart enough to play all these 4D chess is completely unprompted by the story and utterly unbelievable.
This is the definition of slop.
so was the ghost real or not?
It's ambiguous
no
yes
maybe
Yes, he didn’t have the information to construct an accurate hallucination of that little girl, so what he saw was real
no, ghosts don't exist in Poirot
poirot
>movie set in Italy
>Scamarcio is there
every single time
Not sure if this because this is a whodunnit or whatever, but something about the shots was extremely strange. It seemed like they were exaggeratedly jumping between scenes, expressions, people etc. without letting the viewer have much time to grasp what was going on. Felt extremely amateur unless that’s just the style
overuse of the dutch angle
It's Branagh's amateurish editing style.
He's clearly still learning how to make movies.
And there are stories about how some of the actors for Orient Express weren't given proper direction so didn't know how to act and were angry at how they appeared in the final product (approximately iirc, need to fact check).
He gave me the impression he was a bit like Nolan or maybe he picked up some bad habits from Nolan where he just wants the plot or scene to carry it and just improvises like Nolan did with the Bane scene which leads to a bit of weirdness.
In any case Haunting in Venice was great. Best of the three so far. Liked the original story and think Poirot needs more original stories.
Setting was great and I was happy to see it actually tried to evoke the Halloween mood. Probably the best Halloween movie this year.
>And there are stories about how some of the actors for Orient Express weren't given proper direction so didn't know how to act and were angry at how they appeared in the final product
Sauce?
Couldn't find any article on it, so maybe I misremembered.
It was a rumor when Orient Express first released.
>No israeli sex scene
I sleep
Anons, what should I watch that's like this?
the original movies with Albert Finney and Peter Ustinov as Poirot
something modern
This entire series is just alright.
1: okay
2: shit
3: meh
1: meh to shit
2: shit
3: ok
Wheres Hastings?
>Trailer advertises it as a spooky movie
>Look it up
>It's actually some Sherlock Holmes movie instead
I don't watch bait and switch shit.
Cope
6/10 slop, watch Suchet kino instead
>The definition of an alright movie
Exactly. It's hard not to be at least entertained by it. But it's highly forgettable, and had so much unrealized potential.
>It's hard not to be at least entertained by it
More like occupied while it's airing.
Poirot.
They keep trying to make these poirot movies a thing but they kinda suck
SHEEEEIT
look I know it's basically a "spooky" castle themepark ride, that's just the nature of films as commodities these days, but I'll take this over frickin Glass Onion any day. I didn't expect a mind blowing clockwork mystery - I can get that elsewhere- I expected theatrical artifice, charm, beautiful sets, a wonderful self-insert in Poirot that is smart but thoughtful and not an elitist or quip machine. I got what I wanted and found it very comforting, a balm for my spirit much like 'The Holdovers' 1970s period setting and warm style.
it's an exceedingly rare quality on offer these days thanks to Brannagh's passion for the IP. Tell me what are you alternatives from the last few years for atmospheric mysteries that aren't dour pozzed Netflix slop or oppressively dour Scandi grim series
>other slop is worse so we should enjoy this slop!
based moron
I'm saying there's a middle ground and this definitely clears that bar. As an actual fan of "genre" one learns to appreciate works that do rise above the muck and have a bold character or stylization despite apparent flaws - not unlike horror afficionados.
Or just keep being a cynical misanthrope with nothing to watch nothing to praise. I ask again, where are your alternatives?
>heh, actually, I'm a slop aficionado!
I’m giving it a watch specifically because of this take.
The other 2 movies were mid as well but they have been far more respectful of Christie than they´ve been of Conan Doyle.
If i had to say something about haunting is that it had the superior cinematography compared to the other 2. I always appreciate good cinematography.
>superior cinematography
hardly
>Less woke
>every female is wearing suit-jackets with shoulder pads
>including the Chinese woman, who appears to be wearing a full suit
>in Venice
>in 1947
compared to the previous film full of Black folk?
yes
BIG
BELGIAN
SLEUTH
OF
Much better than the first two. Went in with low hopes since the second was dogshit. Would like to see another now since there is a lack of good whodunit movies as of late.
It's the weakest of the three, stronger only due to it's lower woke value. I will still watch the next one tho, as you said they don't make sleuthing pictures anymore.
Where is Hastings tho?
blacked
>It was alright. The definition of an alright movie. Not as woke compared to the other two.
translation: this movie fricking sucks
nah
Poirot.