Ah, Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans!

Ah, Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans!

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I used to love Jelly Bellies. Grew up eating them by the handful. I haven’t eaten Jelly Bellies since they came out with “Bertie Bott” ones that had flavors like earwax and snot mixed in them. Saw that shit piled up on clearance shelves. With Jelly Bellies you can’t always identify a flavor by appearance. The idea of accidentally eating one flavored like literal vomit forever turned me off to eating them ever again. I can’t help but wonder if it had the same effect for others. Thanks for reading my vlog.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah I don't know what the frick they were thinking

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        probably russian roulette style playing with friends

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Immediately reminds me of this advert

          Which I still think of every time I have revels once in a blue moon. And yes, I like orange.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Great ad

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          that's exactly what I did

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They were literally just reusing failed recipes for other flavors.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I mean it did it for Dumbledore.
      >I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit flavored one, since then I've rather lost my liking for them. But I think I will be safe with a nice toffee...*eats golden bean*. Alas...earwax.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Look it up
        >No such thing as the toffee bean

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >But I think I will be safe with a nice toffee...
        >Alas...earwax.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >But I think I will be safe with a nice toffee...
          >Alas...pigfrick flavor.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >But I think I will be safe with a nice peach…
          >Alas…Dumbledore’s taint.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That was probably one of the most heartwarming Dumbledore moments.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        In actuality what he bit into was one that tasted like Hermoines sweet unspoilt clown hole and shortly thereaftee he Imperio'd her to come to his office and he got a taste of the real thing and it was even better.

        He was a great Headmaster.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          and a good friend?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Jelly Bellies were always trash. Even with the non intentionally shitty flavours there was unholy garbage like bubble gum and buttered popcorn. Imagine putting those in your mouth at the same time. The superior jelly beans were always these

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I have never heard of jelly bellies in my life. I thought he was just mistakenly trying to refer to jelly beans. Jelly beans are top notch.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Jelly Belly is a brand of jelly beans that seem to specialize in meme flavors now.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >now
            It's been 20 years dude.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              oh no

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The popcorn flavor ones always caused me physical pain to eat. Like muscle pain in my mandible. I can't really explain it and no other food does this

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Never eaten those but I know exactly what you mean. I think it's a certain type of fizzy cherry-flavored cola bottle-shaped candy that does it for me, what the frick is up with this physical reaction?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That’s pretty funny. I always picked out the popcorn ones. Bubblegum was a disappointment whenever I expected a Tutti Fruity. I liked cinnamon one but it was always jarring when you were expecting very cherry or red apple. You know they sell “belly flops” where not only are they misshapen but also can have the wrong flavor to color? So, yeah- I suppose I already had issues with them.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        the GOAT

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        the GOAT

        Brach's is too soft and gets stuck in your teeth worse than Jelly Belly

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I actually like the buttered popcorn ones honestly, but it's not a flavour that mixes well with anything. I always just pick them out and eat them first by themselves.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          buttered popcorn and blueberry tastes like a muffin

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Those are only the bean boozled thankfully

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >looks up “Bean Boozled”
        >it’s disgusting Bertie Botts flavors, but rebranded
        Oh now COME ON!!!! Talk about doubling down on stupid.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I've never tried them, but lawn clippings and toothpaste probably taste ok.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >licorice
            >skunk spray
            kinda redundant

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Why?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Licorice is worse than any of them

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            This has to be the worst marketing idea ever in the history of mankind.
            >*spits* What the frick? This tastes like shit!
            >ACHXSHUALLY that one is named baby wipes! You should try barf next! Or, is it peach? Hmmmm.
            >WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU????!!!
            >

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              It's meant to be a challenge tuing you do with these things called friends

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Be younger me
            >Playing Bean Boozled with my sister
            >Coconut or baby wipes
            >We eat the beans
            >I get baby wipes
            >It's good

            Was I weird or is this just not a good choice for a bad flavor?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Did you boozle her bean afterwards?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              do they taste like how baby wipes smell, or how they actually taste?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I did this with a gf, it was fun. You'd both get the same colour and eat it simultaneously so someone gets owned

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I remember juicy pear being the tastiest candy I had ever eaten

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Tutti frutti > Dr. Pepper > peach > juicy pear

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            My grandpa bravely ate any of them we gave to him. He was a stoic old man, and said they all tasted like sugar. Truly I aspire to be like him.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              They did all taste like sugar. Obviously they didn't really taste like any of those things

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah I don't know what the frick they were thinking

      They didn't taste like actual boogers and vomit, dumbass. Had a box myself, and they just tasted like jelly bellies with a spicy twang mixed in. All the flavors were clearly labelled on the box.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Not true.

        https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/62593/how-does-jelly-belly-create-its-weird-flavors

        >Smells play a huge part in how we taste, so Jelly Belly’s first step in creating a jelly bean involves analyzing the real thing in a gas chromatograph. The machine converts the target object into vapors in an oven (either after dissolving it in a solvent and then boiling it or simply by heating it), and then analyzes the chemical makeup of those vapors and converts them to flavor markers, which is what Jelly Belly’s team uses as a starting point for its beans. “This is how many of our flavors are analyzed and created, particularly those found in the BeanBoozled and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans lines,” Perry said.

        >For example, when the company decided to add a new bean called Stinky Socks to its BeanBoozled line, “our flavor scientist aged his own socks in a sealed plastic bag for a couple of weeks,” Perry said. The scientist then took the socks and put them in the gas chromatograph, which generated a report of the socks’ flavor makeup; the bean’s flavor was created using that data.

        They use the actual thing they are trying to replicate to generate the taste

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          That sounds like marketing bullshit to me.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Who should you believe? The guys that work at the company or me, a random guy who is doubting them?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I'll go with the random guy. He isn't trying to sell them or generate buzz.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Well I fricking ate the Stinky Socks flavor and it sure as shit didn't taste like aged socks.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Because it's not actual aged socks. It's a replica they created by modeling it after the chromatograph data. It probably smelled worse than it tasted.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              It didn't smell like much of anything. I smelled that shit too. Basically just pepper.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous
          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Lol why is this age restricted? Youtube is a hot mess.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >one flavored like literal vomit
      To be fair, Americans love it

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That's incorrect, but ok.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        If you dont eat American chocolate for awhile and then try it again you can taste the vomit flavor and its gross. But then after awhile chocolate tastes strange without it

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I can eat m&m's fine but if you put your nose in the bag and inhale it is very obvious they put this shit in it. And i

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            A-anon?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >why yes I go to the candy store and fill a 2lb bag solely with buttered popcorn jellybeans, how could you tell?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >piled up on clearance shelves.
      it's an unsustainable business model. the only people who will buy them are doing it for the novelty or trying to prank someone. it's something you do once or twice. so people would buy some once or twice max.

      >one flavored like literal vomit
      To be fair, Americans love it

      not even americans eat the garbage anymore. i saw a few of the hershey bars in my local supermarket a few years ago but milka and cadbury will always reign supreme

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Milka
        I really hope you are just baiting

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The gross beans aren't even that bad

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Gotta say that’s not an impressive story at all

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    deh

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Alas, Sneed flavor!

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Alas, cum

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Hmmm yes that’s the distinct taste of my uncle’s wiener. That takes me back. By the way Harry, have I ever told you I was a homosexual? Probably unrelated

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    alas, amber heard

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Ah yes, the Holocaust flavoured bean. My personal favourite.
    >But professor, you haven't even opened the pack yet.
    >Dumbledore flashes a wink to the camera.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I laughed

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Also used as food at Azkaban

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Ah, Bertie Butt's Every Flavor Bums

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >alas, that cute second year Hufflepuff Jimmy's anal cavity

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >But I think I will be safe with a nice caramel strawberry...Alas, Ron Weasley's butthole
    >But professor, how do you know what Ron's butthole tastes like?
    >Obliviate!

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >candy from a children's book meant to appeal to little kids that think gross stuff is funny
    >the adults of Cinemaphile: "this is stupid, i don't like it"

    become an heroes

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Flirty Dott's Every Scent Queefs

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    *eats the entire box at once*

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >jellybean thread on Cinemaphile
    Based

    Starburst jellybeans are pure distilled cavities but god damn if they don't taste delectable

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Candy corn is the worst treat and that's a fact.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      For me, it's licorice
      I honestly do not understand how people can enjoy licorice. It smells like a rotting animal and tastes worse.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't enjoy a nice sal ammoniac licorice
        ngmi

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Your brain actually just has fricked up wiring. It's the same thing that makes some people taste soap when they eat cilantro.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Twirl

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Mmm, Hermiones menstrual blood!
    >Dumbledore... How do you know what Hermiones menstrual blood tastes like? She hasn't even begun menstruating yet.
    >A wizard never reveals his secrets, Harry.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Alas... Synthetically flavored corn syrup with potentially toxic food colorings

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >buy up multiple packets of magical jelly beans
    >single out all the cum flavoured ones
    >don invisibility cloak
    >sneak into grills dorms at midnight
    >swap out all the beans in their stash with the cum flavoured ones
    Harry you piece of shit

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How could anyone invent a product where you could get Dog Shit or Rabbit Hutch Scrapings flavors?

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Berti Vögts every flavor beans.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Mmmmmmm. Piss.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    FLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPENDO

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