>Alllright. Internet porn? Check.
>Tissues? Check.
>Lotion? Check.
>Ok. Let's go.
 |
 UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
|
>Alllright.
>Alllright. Internet porn? Check.
>Tissues? Check.
>Lotion? Check.
>Ok. Let's go.
|
UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
|
>I gimmy yiy U simmy yop jimmy silly weren't k to the last G wen whre uy gimmy yoi fiby I
>lotion
What?
what's wrong with that? are you telling me go dry and deal with chafed skin?
lmao you gays are moronic
the easy way and the right way rarely intersect.
if you get chafed skin it means your doctor botched your circumcision dude
Tell me you've never had long-lasting raw sex. Bro being balls deep for over an hour
of constant pumping into her no condom on, ur dick gets raw. Even if she's soaked.
This, my dick is bright red like an indian burn after I'm done fricking, there's bumps too from the friction.
Bro same
Fricking lost my wiener from fricking this one b***h for ten hours straight. Just eroded my shit down to nothing. Now I'm single and got no dick
Damn, i'm praying for you brother.
Most of you virgins wouldn't know this but pussy juices are actually quite acidic. I suggest submerging your dick in an alkaline solution before sticking it in.
Should I also measure the pH levels of a pussy before going in, doc?
Yes
I once randomly told my gf "I know your vegana pH is 9.6 and it needs to be 7-8 max" she was astonished I even knew such a thing.
Funny part is, vegana pH should be 4-5 max.
Oh, that's just superstition.
Not if you're planting gummy bears.
>Eating a girl out
>Wake up the next day
>All my teeth fell out and I have cancer
Women... not even once.
Can you really get cancer from going down on a chick or was he just being a lying homosexual?
I have it plenty, weed is great for lasting a while and my gf puts out every night. Again, your circumcision was botched
>your circumcision was botched
Botched implies there's a correct way to mutilate a baby's penis for no reason.
Stop being gay?
Yes, stop it!
dinosaurs have scales dumbass
Lotion is used non-stop to jerk off in American movies. It's essentially a staple and due to the high prevalence of mutilated penises in the US, particularly amongst the ~~*writing staff*~~.
seethe harder troony
I don't have to seethe about anything, my parents didn't mutilate me.
>parents got him bottom surgery
>accuses someone else of being a troony
kek
Poor bait
Y'all never heard of spit? Way fricking cheaper. Just use pre-cum and spit morons.
It's a israeli thing. You wouldn't understand.
Imagine being Chad and sending all the girls you frick to get abortions because they all think you're their boyfriend. LEL!
>lotion
Americans... do this?
>lotion
Unnecessary if your parents didn't have you mutilated soon after birth.
I was mutilated and I don't use lotion
>I was mutilated
I'm so sorry.
>meth? Check
Any intact guy that claims they never used a lubricant is lying out their ass.
I have used it but only because I saw it done in movies. It's not worth it. It's messy and not remotely necessary and just doesn't justify the clean up afterwards.
Humans had sex for 300k years without lube dude
coincidentally most of those humans weren’t circumcised
You dont know the amount of pre-cum that I produce when Im horny
OMG ITS A DINO WATCHING INTERNET PORN HAHAHAHA HOW RANDOM I HOPE THE WRITERS KILLED THEMSELVES
its a metaphor for how porn addiction(hedonism) makes you extinct
I laughed at this bit because of the realistic dinosaur sounds and stomping and destruction and shit, started off as a lame overdone gag but that got me.
?
What?
I just don't cum, nothing quite like edging for a week, only to blow a load that feels like you are ejaculating cottage cheese.
The shot of the guy getting drained still cracks me the frick up.
>a load that feels like you are ejaculating cottage cheese.
I think you might have some kind of infection, mate.
I haven't watched porn or jerk offd in ages. I have zero libido. I have lost all my desire to do anything.
theres a guy that jogs around the neighbourhood which is about 3 miles around and does it several times. started around 2020 and still at it
he was fat at first and jogged normally, also i think he's in his late 40s to mid 50s
now he's like christian bale in batman begins but jogs with that weird t-rex arm thing
thanks for reading
>jogs with that weird t-rex arm thing
>uncutgays immediately go crazy like they always do
>everyone arguing over lotion vs no lotion
>nobody mentioning that using tissues for masturbation is messy as frick and also wastes paper
use a towel for god's sake, it's so much easier, contains the mess a lot better, and you can wash it to re-use it
Ah, a fellow cum rag bro.
Gross. Just spring for a $1 box of tissues, you cheap frick. Get bamboo fibre ones if you're concerned about wastage.
I cum into a water/soda bottle then cap it, no mess, no smell
i just jack off in the shower
The t-rex went extinct because all the males couldn't jerk off normally, so they started anally jerking off and became transgender. They ended up getting TOPPED by triceratops and never reproduced.
I only need lotion when my gf jerks me off. Why does it hurt when she does it?
Girls are so fricking mean. I make my gf cum like 4 times a session and she puts the least amount of effort blowing me possible. Like, don’t bother it doesn’t even feel good.
>Girls are so fricking mean.
homie she's just that into you
I have phimosis and it's unironically the only reason why I'm still a virgin and never had a gf
I'm going to save your life right now. Every time you shower, pull back your foreskin as far as you can before it hurts. Hold it there for 30 seconds then release. Repeat 10 times every shower (daily). I fixed mine entirely by doing this for a month. Depending on severity it could be more or less time.
I did this same thing but it took two sessions. I don't think my case was too serious.
I think I also might have phimosis but I'm trying to ignore it for as long as I can before I have to deal with it. Never had sex so haven't had to yet. But yeah sometimes it just fixes itself haha right cutbros?
Might have to start doing this
Do the stretches. Phimosis makes sex very painful and stretching is the best way to fix it.
You'd still need to further stretch it with your fingers to account for the extra girth during sex.
Eventually it gets to a point where it's no problem at all.
itt: “heterosexual” men obsessing over other “heterosexual” men’s penises
>that gif
>Been circumcised
>Never needed to use lotion
I jerk off a lot too, I'm 90% sure it's just a thing in Hollywood and just doesn't exist
It's for people smart enough to know how sex works. You are obviously capable of chapping your dick to orgasm, but it's much more enjoyable with lubrication. You know, like in a vegana.
>lotion