>and for you 'Sam'. >a gift of rope. >may it support you in your darkest hours

>and for you 'Sam'
>a gift of rope
>may it support you in your darkest hours

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  1. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    This makes sense if Sam was a troony.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >And for you, Samantha Gamgee, an elven dilator made of mithril.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think she was calling him fat

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      huahue

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Samwise the brave? Samwise the troon!

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Heil Hitler gentlemen. Heil victory.

  2. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >no scene where the Fellowship spends thirty minutes arguing about which character should get which magic item

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      star trek trope

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >player that demanded the plot ring and the +1 sword of orc sense and the mithral chain shirt and just got a phial that acts as a permanent Light spell also wants the other player's magic rope and belts

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >keeps justifying it by claiming he has "worse stats"

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >dumps charisma and intelligence and wisdom to borderline animal levels
          >refuses to roleplay their character as an unlikeable moron

  3. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd just dump that shit in the river and be the biggest road trip grump from that point on. Like cool frodo got some magic light and I got some fricking rope

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Charlie Bronson’s always got rope.

  4. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    he's literally me

  5. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's Samantha!

  6. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    He actually got a box of magical dirt and a malorn acorn, what with being gardner and all

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >magical dirt

      A reminder that he'd prefer to be six feet under.

  7. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how the movie makes it seem like he wouldn't want rope.

    He is given rope not by Galadriel but another of the Lorien elves. He had been, until that point, lamenting that he left Rivendell without any rope. Rope making is in Sam's family, and his cousin, Andy Roper, had a tightrope walk, and taught Sam a bit of the craft. His only issue with the gift of rope is that he didn't learn how the elves made it, to which the elves reply they would have taught him had they had the time.

    His gift is actually a small box of dirt with a Mallorn seed, which Sam uses to help heal the Shire, and plants the Mallorn in place of the Party Tree, which was cut down.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      why cant they just go back later after the quest is over and learn how to make rope?

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        The elves left

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          where did they go?

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            valhalla

            • 6 months ago
              Anonymous

              go to valhalla then god damn

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sam does actually, since he was briefly a ring-bearer.

                >galadriel stops and laughs for a moment while looking at you
                >the other elves laugh in the background
                >she just moves on to the next one and keeps giving out gifts

                Nice, it's just like Christmas at the in-laws.

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                He eventually does

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >andy roper
      bravo tolkien

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        You are now aware of where most anglo last names come from
        You make shit out of iron? Okay Anon Smith.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ye beat me to it.

      I hate the part in the movie where sam says "gee, cant I get one of those nifty daggers tho?". He didnt even get a fricking rope in the book, he got a box of dirt and my man was fricking hyped about it. He spend the entire trip to rivendell kicking himself for forgetting rope and when he comments on the quality of elf rope on the boat trip they give him some and he is just over the moon with gratitude. Total mischaracterization on hacksons part. Probably the most offensive case in that movie.

      I kneel, lorebeard

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        I have a page with 10k followers and this pepe is still my most reposted artwork

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I hate the part in the movie where sam says "gee, cant I get one of those nifty daggers tho?". He didnt even get a fricking rope in the book, he got a box of dirt and my man was fricking hyped about it. He spend the entire trip to rivendell kicking himself for forgetting rope and when he comments on the quality of elf rope on the boat trip they give him some and he is just over the moon with gratitude. Total mischaracterization on hacksons part. Probably the most offensive case in that movie.

      based lore chads

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >It's real

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      LoTR is such a hack job when you dig into it.
      >hmm what if we made Sam upset about the rope gift because modern people don't understand the value of good rope and we are too fricking moronic to include a single iota Sam's backstory

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      so what was the name of the Shire's rapist?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why didn't Sam ever use his tight rope walking skills his cousin taught him?

  8. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's for shibari play with Rosie when he gets back to the Shire dimwit. Galadriel is never wrong.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      What is shibari play? How much of a weeb does someone have to be to use a term I don't know. I'm guessing it means bondage.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Edit: No, I'm not going to "just google it", but thank you for pretending to care

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >immediately recognizing japanese words
        >calling others weebs
        kys

  9. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >And for you Frodo, a bottle of water

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >>And for you Frodo, my anal plug

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's her bathtub water.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      that is her grool get it right please

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >may it quench you in your dryest moments

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      It was vodka.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >yes, ordinary water. Mixed with a few spoonfuls of LSD

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >LSD makes food taste better
        stupid ass futurama writers.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          t.has never been cool enough to he offered any lsd

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          That's not egregious, what's egregious was it kicking in instantly instead of the judges sitting around for an hour wondering when it's going to kick in before they're suddenly feeling g-forces out of nowhere.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >and for you Frodo, in case you run into an African immigrant security guard in an amusement park after hours and need something to pour over his face to cause permanent psychosis

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >he was talkin about how I put the ring on my hand

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Yes, but what does it do?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      b***h literally just grabbed trashcan and started handing out random shit from it

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Some magical daggers and a bow nice practical weapons
        >Some rope, bread and water- good things to have on a journey I guess
        >And umm how about some of my hair? It's worth like half a silmaril
        >And for you Aragorn, I shall allow you to continue to frick my grand daughter

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Does Boromir not get anything?

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Here's some arrow proof armour, oops it doesn't fit you

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            Movie he gets told to stop being hopeless, book he gets a belt of gold that does nothing but serves as a metaphor.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      that glow in the dark water would have really been useful in the mines of murder, where they went after their good friend sauronman was revealed to be secretly allied to sauron and was impeding their passing through mount caramba from his tower in the city of orc tank

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        frodo forgot about it

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      and for you Frodo, a Bo'ohw'o'wo'er

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        ESL

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's actually a vial of her foot sweat
      One could purchase an entire kingdom with a single drop.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >here, give your man this crystal of pepsi as a reward

  10. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    and for you ‘Sneed’, a gift of seed and feed.
    And for you ‘Chuck’, a gift of -

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      i don't get it

  11. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's a magic Elvish rope that will undo any knots and come back to you if you tug on it right. Also, Sam almost got Frodo killed for some seasoning

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      > Fallowhides don’t season dey food.

  12. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >And for you, Legolas, our Woodland kin, a stick and a string

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >may it pluck up your courage when tje music stops

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >gimli gets three strands of galadriels pubic hair
      >legolas gets a bow string of twined pubic hair
      >sam gets a whole rope

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous
  13. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you were in the Fellowship, what gift would Galadriel give you?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      the gift of eternal virginity

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      love and best wishes

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      her used panties (do female elfs wear panties?)

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sorry, elves do not wear underwear

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >galadriel stops and laughs for a moment while looking at you
      >the other elves laugh in the background
      >she just moves on to the next one and keeps giving out gifts

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous
      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        *chair clattering*

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        i didn't know middle earth would be just like my highscool experiences

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        sad_boromir.jpg

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >borrowmir just wanted to borrow the ring for.. reasons
          >fathermir is desperate for his dads affection and approval
          Pottery, Token

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous
      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      About three fiddy

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      She'd spit in my hand and I'd scamper off giggling to myself.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      genuinely would forget im there
      my gift from birth has clearly been blending into a crowd

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      A beheading.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >And for you, both moderately brave and moderately overweight Inceldore, who has never known even the most chaste of touches from a woman, I gift you a kiss... on your chubby cheek.

  14. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate the part in the movie where sam says "gee, cant I get one of those nifty daggers tho?". He didnt even get a fricking rope in the book, he got a box of dirt and my man was fricking hyped about it. He spend the entire trip to rivendell kicking himself for forgetting rope and when he comments on the quality of elf rope on the boat trip they give him some and he is just over the moon with gratitude. Total mischaracterization on hacksons part. Probably the most offensive case in that movie.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Come to think of it, do the movies do anything at all with Merry and Pippin's daggers? As far I can recall they are forgotten immediately and were even left out of the theatrical cut.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Merry stabs the Witch King with his one i think

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          pretty sure even in the movie he uses the barrow blade (given by Aragorn in the movie). The only thing I remember with the knives is the burnt up scabbard of one Gimly finds in the pile of dead uruk hai

  15. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >and for you Boromir, a belt
    >may it hold up your pants or some shit man i dunno there's like eight of you how the frick am i supposed to have enough gifts for eight people goddamn get outta my forest

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      > You can always give me the gift of your pussy m'lady. Your frick husband Teleporno can watch us make a real porno, if you know what I mean. Now talk is cheap, get on your knees and suck this dick.

  16. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    ELF BREAD IS SO FRICKING TASTY

  17. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    IRL or D&D having a length of rope will save your fricking life, let alone a magical elvin rope.

  18. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't she give them a map that shows everybody's location and invisibility cape?
    Would make the sneaking mission easier

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      That would be dangerous! Imagine if the enemy got a hold of it

  19. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    https://vocaroo.com/1iHvgMcO0kid
    >Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
    Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow!
    >Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

    Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
    >Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
    Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
    >Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
    There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,
    >Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
    Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
    >Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
    Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o!
    >Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
    Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
    >Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
    Tom's going home again water-lilies bringing.
    >Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

    Hop along, my little friends, up the Withywindle!
    >Tom's going on ahead candles for to kindle.
    Down west sinks the Sun: soon you will be groping.
    >When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open,
    Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow.
    >Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
    Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
    >Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waiting for you!

    Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!
    >Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties.
    Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!

    >Now let the song begin! Let us sing together!
    Of sun, stars, moon and mist, rain and cloudy weather,
    >Light on the budding leaf, dew on the feather,
    Wind on the open hill, bells on the heather,
    >Reeds by the shady pool, lilies on the water:
    Old Tom Bombadil and the River-daughter!.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      i hate this incoherent homosexual so much

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Get out, you old wight! Vanish in the sunlight!
        >Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
        Out into the barren lands far beyond the mountains!
        >Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
        Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
        >Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.

  20. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    what was his problem?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      His arms got tired from holding the bow because Aragorn was an idiot telling them to draw and never telling them to loose.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        More like Peter Hackson told them to draw and never loose.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Shooting by drill like that with bows makes no sense anyway.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      racist

  21. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >and for you Sam
    >have some special string you frickin homosexual

  22. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw you receive 3 of Galadriel pubes

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >mfw

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      So what did Gimli forge with her pubes ?

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        an rock hard boner

  23. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Nah frick that, you're getting MY rope b***h
    >Rapes her

  24. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it's your turn to meet Galadriel and receive one of her thoughtful gifts
    >you've heard so many rumors about her - how beautiful she is, but also how terrifying
    >she stands before you, bathed in white light like a goddess
    >her pale skin and long blonde hair are the most beautiful things you've ever seen in your entire life
    >you are entranced by her captivating blue eyes
    >your legs feel like jelly - you fall to one knee, eyes towards the ground - you cannot look upon her beauty
    >she slowly reaches out her hand towards you...you feel her warm aura surrounding you in pure heavenly bliss
    >her sweet soothing voice calls to you...
    >"pull me finger, mate"
    >you look up in confusion
    >her finger is right in your face
    >"pull it, lad. c'mon don't be shy."
    >"uh... ok, my lady"
    >you pull her finger and she lets out the most glorious aromatic flatulence you've ever smelled in your entire life.. suddenly you are re-invigorated with the will and spirit to carry out your solemn oath to destroy the one ring
    >Galadriel giggles.. "that was a propa jolly fart, wasn't-it?"

  25. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >dwarf asks for a single stranding of her hair
    >the frick why, asks the lady of the forest
    >I'm literally going to simp and bust ropes over your hair, and so will my children for generations to cum
    >gives him 3 strands of her hairs

    What a chad

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >gives him 3 strands of her hairs
      >mutters dark oaths of vengeance from the Halls of Mandos

  26. 6 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      ...her back?

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        her buttcrack

  27. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this true?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >15, likes feminine pretty boy
      >21, masculine chad
      >28, servile beta

      checks out

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      make it she 32 and he having an engineering career

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I hate women so such it's unreal

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >guys I want to frick when I'm young and hot
      >the guys who are hot no longer want to frick me, so now I pretend I'm attracted to chubby flabby needs

      Yeah most women who hit the wall end up like that

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      No no no you don't get it, based Sam was saying that she looks like (a sack of ) PO TAY TOES.

  28. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be on vacation in lothlorien
    >see Lady Galadriel gliding down the tree stairs
    >like a graceful penguin with gout
    >follow her for a block
    >working up courage
    >gently touch her shoulder
    “H-hello, I’m Anon. Y-you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?”
    >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with a Mirkwood rope
    >stares intently for a few moments
    >then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence
    “YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!”
    >quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has menus
    “FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON!
    >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it’s leg caught in a wood chipper
    >head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table
    >Galadriel wieners her head and squints at the menu
    “ERE NOW, WATS THIS SHITE? IT’S ORL IN FAKKIN SINDARIN! OI CARNT READ THIS, I’LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?”
    >look at the menu. It’s in English, just a fancy script
    >she shoves her menu at the waiter
    “I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!”
    “I’m sorry, madam, we don-“
    “I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!”
    >he slinks away without even taking my order
    >Galadriel pulls a pipe of Old Toby from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket
    >starts rubbing at her crotch
    >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles
    “JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT’S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A SECRET FIRE INNA LOO, AIN’T WE?”
    >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check
    >turn around
    >Galadriel is slumped over the table
    >raped to death by Uruks

  29. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just watched the M4 Edit of the hobbit. I still think the Maple Edit is better.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      1977 version still reigns supreme

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        https://archive.org/details/TheHobbit1977Version

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Where there's a whip

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          wrong movie

  30. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    what would Karl Pilkington say to Galadriel?

  31. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    O Galadriel, fairest lady of the woodland realm. Please grant me 6 inches more in height, and 6 inches more in weiner size

  32. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >youngest elvish daughter
    >she's 400,000 years old

  33. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Based galadriel knowing Sam was into shibari. Elf females can tell these things.

  34. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    What would happen if Conan was given the quest to destroy the Ring?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      he would be dead in minutes

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Depends on the author.
      Tolkien would have him serve as not!Boromir.
      Howard would have him bend the ring to his iron thewed barbarian will and beat up Sauron.
      Grrm would have him get a nasty infection and collapse in a filthy alleyway where some ruffians rape him before stealing the ring.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Conan would be captured and tortured by orcs, use the ring to break out and kill a hundred or so enemies but destroy it in the end. Maybe even kill Sauron himself.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like Conan would be much like Sam in that the ring doesn't really have much to tempt him with, since Conan is a simple man with simple pleasures.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like Conan would be much like Sam in that the ring doesn't really have much to tempt him with, since Conan is a simple man with simple pleasures.

      >I feel like Conan would be much like Sam in that the ring doesn't really have much to tempt him with, since Conan is a simple man with simple pleasures.
      This. TOR tempts Conan with hologram wenches and big piles of other meats, but then Conan realizes he prefers to acquire the spoils on his own and carelessly tosses it into Mt. Doom.

  35. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Galadriel: Alright, here's your stupid frickin' rope.
    Weird, but she says it in the books too

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Well! "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid frickin' rope for."

  36. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    In the books she implies her and Sam could have had a little fun with that rope if you know what I mean.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Like jumprope?

  37. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I asked her for one lick of her golden armpits.
    >She gave me three.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      frick..

  38. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    So like, couldn't some of the Elves there go with them for a little ways? At least help them out until Rohan or something. Why is it like "oh a quest to save the world? Have fun with that dudes!"

  39. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why don’t these gods give them advanced future weapons?

    What’s that Frodo? you need to destroy a target at a strategic scale? here’s a B-21 armed with a nuclear bomb

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