I went to Otakon for 3 years in a row, the last year my friends canceled on me at the last minute so I took my gf instead and paid for her just so I'd have someone. On the drive home from the con she told me she had been thinking of breaking up with me for a while and wanted to do it there "on a high note" since we had fun at the con. Never went back.
"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses. "Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves." "I love Japan, period" said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt, slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation. "Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop. But then things took a turn for the worst. "J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy-haired delinquent, quite obviously high on something. "Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor child," Kobayashi thought to himself. But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the make-up on his face still smeared across his fleshy visage. "GIRUGAMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaims, stabbing the air vehemtly with two massive, pudgy digits.
"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thinks to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear, and morbid fascination. "I LOVE ANIME!" shrieks a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender. "AND MANGA" yells the man-lady's back-quatto, the horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across his/her eyes. Kobayashi is speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him. "AND GAYMEN!" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spews forth, every diabolical syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity.
"Uh...DDR?," says a man quite plainly. "Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next. "SMILE D.K." squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair.
As these things happened, a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON NI IKIMAAAAAAAAAASU" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family. As Kobayashi leapt over the table, the gathered masses began morphing, face tearing asunder to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth, as new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true bestial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior, however, he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with a precision afforded him by his years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as bucket upon bucket of blood was spilled, the organs and flesh of his former patrons spewing forth like water down a hill. He and his restaurant alike were soon strewn with every type of viscera, and he gave an animalistic howl to the still-rising moon.
Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee-high pile of cadavers, and, having finally exited the restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his cleaver and strode off into the horizon. He knew that he had honored his ancestors with this true act of bravery, and helped to rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
As these things happened, a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON NI IKIMAAAAAAAAAASU" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family. As Kobayashi leapt over the table, the gathered masses began morphing, face tearing asunder to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth, as new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true bestial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior, however, he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with a precision afforded him by his years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as bucket upon bucket of blood was spilled, the organs and flesh of his former patrons spewing forth like water down a hill. He and his restaurant alike were soon strewn with every type of viscera, and he gave an animalistic howl to the still-rising moon.
Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee-high pile of cadavers, and, having finally exited the restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his cleaver and strode off into the horizon. He knew that he had honored his ancestors with this true act of bravery, and helped to rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
Did any anons go to Sakura con?
not me but i went to anime weekend atlanta in 2009 with my high school weeb friends who introduced me to Cinemaphile. it was aids
No I was just an extra in the commercial (unpaid)
No but I went to Lulzcon 07 in Chicago, the one and only Cinemaphile convention
I went to Otakon for 3 years in a row, the last year my friends canceled on me at the last minute so I took my gf instead and paid for her just so I'd have someone. On the drive home from the con she told me she had been thinking of breaking up with me for a while and wanted to do it there "on a high note" since we had fun at the con. Never went back.
GIRUGAMESH
This was from like 2012, but feels much more like a video from 2009.
oh...
anon, it is from 2009
Man late 00s to early 2010s westaboos were such cancer. i can only imagine its gotten even worse.
Jaay-Rooock!!!
I like SneeDR!
fr tho I dead ass do love anime and manga and gaming
I like literally everything they said in the commercial.
I wonder where are these people now
Girugamesh kid didn't even get to go to the con because he was grounded, so hopefully he grew out of his phase.
He's a woman now.
whoa me too! hivemind moment
50% chance you're right, with these types. All nerds after the class update that came out around 2014 or so have a 50% chance of trooning out.
"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses. "Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves." "I love Japan, period" said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt, slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation. "Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop. But then things took a turn for the worst. "J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy-haired delinquent, quite obviously high on something. "Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor child," Kobayashi thought to himself. But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the make-up on his face still smeared across his fleshy visage. "GIRUGAMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaims, stabbing the air vehemtly with two massive, pudgy digits.
"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thinks to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear, and morbid fascination. "I LOVE ANIME!" shrieks a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender. "AND MANGA" yells the man-lady's back-quatto, the horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across his/her eyes. Kobayashi is speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him. "AND GAYMEN!" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spews forth, every diabolical syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity.
"Uh...DDR?," says a man quite plainly. "Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next. "SMILE D.K." squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair.
kek
As these things happened, a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON NI IKIMAAAAAAAAAASU" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family. As Kobayashi leapt over the table, the gathered masses began morphing, face tearing asunder to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth, as new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true bestial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior, however, he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with a precision afforded him by his years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as bucket upon bucket of blood was spilled, the organs and flesh of his former patrons spewing forth like water down a hill. He and his restaurant alike were soon strewn with every type of viscera, and he gave an animalistic howl to the still-rising moon.
Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee-high pile of cadavers, and, having finally exited the restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his cleaver and strode off into the horizon. He knew that he had honored his ancestors with this true act of bravery, and helped to rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
deepest lore
I LOVE JAPAN EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE FRICKING COUNTRY
HOLY HELL MAN THE HARPOONS
AND COLLEGE ANIME CLUBS!
AND ATTENTION prostituteS
What I wouldn't give to have sex with all of them
Convention women are easy you literally have to dodge their advances