>And to you, Frodo Baggins, I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places when all other lights go out.
>And to you, Frodo Baggins, I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star.
>And to you, Frodo Baggins, I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places when all other lights go out.
>is not red shifted
The human eye is so shit, if you were actually out in space you wouldn't see any of this. All cool astrophotography is super high exposure and the colors are added in after.
yes it would look like vast darkness.
1. Yes, stars are famously impossible to see
2. That's not what a redshift is
3. Look through a fricking telescope some time, frickwit
>3. Look through a fricking telescope some time, frickwit
I do. Everything is black and white, except that one time I saw Jupiter and it's moons.
Space is fake.
Oh yea then what is between two objects that are touching nothing
Nothing
If you look at the Star Sirius, it's blue. If you look at the star Betelguese, it's red. So yes you can see the colors just not a lot of detail obviously. If you go to a dark sight and wait for your eyes to adjust you'll see a lot more detail and color. It's true that a lot of astrophotography is photoshop and filters but using filters isn't bad or something.
Space is literally not real
Earendil is the Evening Star - the planet Venus.
>t. le Black Science Man
>absolute FRED actually believes their lies
Fricking moronic, Extra Dumb
Why didn't they just take an einstein-rosen bridge to mordor?
I wonder what it would taste like if you drank it. Would your piss glow?
I think you would glow like a super saiyan and it probably tastes like baja blast
I wonder what Galadriel's piss would taste like haha
Imagine if ranged_weapon did one of those glowing nuka piss drawings except instead of a Fallout womeme it was Galadriel
It would be a strong umami flavor, mixed with salty milk and coins (because it's juice from her pussy)
It's actually Nuka Cola Quantum
>Pay no mind to the fact that it looks like a penis, Frodo Baggins. For those thoughts belong in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.
if that's what your penis looks like, talk to your doctor anon
but don't cut it off
lay off the porn, homosexuals
>NOOOOOO STOP POSTING GROSS DEGENERATE THINGS REEEEEEE THIS IS A PURE FRANCHISE
Welcome to Cinemaphile, Black person.
IN MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
IN MOORRRRRRRAAAAADOORRRRRRR WHERE THE SHADOWSSSSSS LIIIIIIEEEYIIIIIIEEEEYIIIII
IN MOR-DOR WHERE-THE-SHADOWS----LIEEEEEEE
IN MORDORRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHERE THE SHADOWSSSSSSSS LIEEEEEEEEEE
IN MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
IN MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
IN THE LAND OF MORRRRRYADORRRRR WHERE THE SHADOUGHS LAY
IN THE LANDDDDIYANDYAND OF MORRRRRRREDOR WHEREEEE THE SHADOWS LIE
IN THE LAND OF MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIEEEEEEEEUHHHHHH
IN HODOR WHERE THE HOLD DOORS LIEEEEE
IN MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
EIN MORDORLAND WHERE IST SHADOWS ZIEG HILLIEEEEEEEEE
IN MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
INTHELANDOFMORDORWHERETHESHADOWSLIE
IN
THE
LAND
OF
MORDOR
WHERE
THE
SHADOWS
LIE
IN MORIYIODORI WHERE LE SHADOWADOS LIEEEEEE
IN THE LAND OF MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE
I freaking love Summoning
it doesnt look like a benis
man LOTR is way ahead of its time for bath water
>I asked her for one pube from her golden bush. She gave me three.
Oh no.
it would have been funnier if it were Cuckleborn
Totally forgot Celeborn was in the movies
> Wow thanks, I was totally unable to see in the dark before this magical gift, I can’t wait to show it to Arag-ACK
kek, everybody forgot this happened after a week, "lawd dem rangz" was a decent meme though
Yeah, that show melted off of the Cinemaphile catalog the moment it was released. It must have been nu-Willow tier with no audience at all in mind
This isn't funny at all. Cinemaphile sucks
ywnbaw
Oh lord dem rangz.
So true sister!
>NOOO DON'T YOU KNOW HOW HECKIN' TOXICARINO THIS IS
>HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE AMAZON.COM, INC. AND THE HECKIN' PRECIOUS DIVERSITY
>YOU GUYS SUCK
rangz was a total trainwreck, imagine coming to Cinemaphile from r*ddit to defend it
What is that thing? Surely not a hobbit
Uncanny
Oh yes it is, holy shit my sides.
Lawd Dem Rangz.
WE A GET DEM RANGZ!
this looks like a low budget pornhub spoof version
>$1 BILLION
post the vagisil one
This looks so awful. Does have have even a single redeemable thing about it? You could cut a few scenes out of The Witcher that were good, but is that even possible with this?
OOOOHHHH LAWD DEM RAAANGS DEM RAAANGS SAWROHN GON GET DEM RAAANGS
Never gets old
>as Helena Bonham Carter
Audibly laughed
For me it's
>Little House on the Patriarchy
>Doc Brown
the 'cuck sucks, you cannot even post webms with sound here. what a shithole
Your sound plugin bro?
>i give you this glass butt plug
why would she do this
it was in her butt. that makes it valuable.
She even tells him to put it where the sun don't shine.
Imagine the aroma
but how do they have sex?
isn't the tolkien lore is that nobody has sex
>and to you, Gimli, i give an unwashed pair of panties that i wore for three days of climbing up and down giant trees
>I asked for one....and she gave me three!!
Now the elves call me 'three for free'
"Here Frodo, have some of my warm piss, because I know you're into all that"
why would anyone want the fake reflection of the fake light from a fake tree?
You'd think she'd give him an invincibility potion.
In fact you'd think all the elves would have them.
But no, they can die in this and Frodo gets shitty tiny chainmail that doesn't protect his limbs or neck properly.
Real chain mail almost covers the entire body except where the helm is.
>Frodo gets shitty tiny chainmail
Were you too busy looking at your phone when it's shown that it's made of mithril?
frodos chainmail isn't from elves
bilbo looted it from smaugs hoard (previously thorins)
it is called Mithril
the Dwarves mined and created it and it was not "shitty chainmail" because it is stronger than steel and lighter.
Is it me, or are the elf ears in LotR too small?
They're sorta odd looking and they resemble vulcans more than elves to me now.
Or have they just become super large and pointy in pop culture to the point where I now associate larger pointy ears with elves?
Jackson should alter a scene just to test the waters for this. They just don't look right. I don't think they have ever looked right to me, even as a kid when I watched this.
They were very conservative and the makeup doesn't look too crash hot (which is insane because this film had the best orcs in anything I've ever seen computer generated or practical and those were just practical makeup effects).
They should look like beautiful humans, no pointy ears.
what a dogshit take, the ears in
are hot as frick and should be the standard
>no pointy ears
>beautiful
Leave this thread.
Remember Galadriel and her Mirror!
Only cute part of that breed is it's ears to be frank.
I am forever playing with my Kelpie's ears however and she is a damn sexy beast.
>YMS has entered the chat
>YMS
who?
Literally-who israelitetuber who is a known nonce and dog fricker.
Why he thought putting all that and more out there on the internet for everyone to mock him over was a good idea, I don't know. He must be one of those types where even negative attention is good attention for him
this guy has the ugliest coom art i've seen outside of scatgays.
they all look like grannies
the latter
i think lodoss was the first to do that style of long ears
Lodoss is still the high standard I think.
But that came out in the 90s and was ignored for so long in western media it seems.
I'm guessing it's because we used them for xmas elves back then or demons.
But it's definitely not the length that puts people off. People are forever annoying their dogs and their pointy ears in fascination and obsession... especially me because they're just cute!.
yes
Not sure what started it, but in modern fantasy "high elves" are often distinguished by longer ears. This is usually because they are more pure elf than others that mixed with humans.
All I'm saying is... I really really want to touch an elf's ear. With sexual vigour.
>Or have they just become super large and pointy in pop culture to the point where I now associate larger pointy ears with elves?
America and Japan have been catastrophic for the fantasy genre.
Long elf ears are an asian bastardization and they should be burned away in nuclear hellfire like all asians
Remember, the pointier the ears and iris are, the superior the being is.
That's right and don't you forget it roundy
>he doesn't know that goblins and orcs are the superior elf species
They may be green, but their sex is mean.
dilate
I passionately hate the dogshit jap/WoW style long ears on Elves. Looks cartoonish, silly and ridiculous. Jackson's small pointy ears nailed it.
The more stubby Jackson ears were given to Ghim in Lodoss, very likely to make him distinctively inhuman from the actual humans in the story, like Parn and Woodchuck. Deedlit was given even longer, more elegant ears, to also separate her from the others. I think it was a really good aesthetical choice
Pointy ears on Dwarves is just plain moronic. Halflings too.
Ears are kinda redundant full stop for humanoids.
We must leave our ears behind to the past and embrace the dawn of the earless future before us.
Are high elves a thing in LotR?
Elf races are very tricky in LotR. There are heaps of them.
>https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Calaquendi
>The Calaquendi (singular Calaquendë) were the Elves of the Light, those that reached Valinor on the Great Journey.
>The Calaquendi included the Vanyar, Ñoldor, and Falmari, as well as the Sindarin king Thingol alone of all his people. The kindreds who settled in Aman and their descendants were also referred to as High Elves, or Tareldar, especially by mortals. The Elves who had refused the summons of the Valar or did not complete the Great Journey to Valinor were named instead Moriquendi, or "Dark Elves" (those who had not seen the Light).
Oh they were the ones that left to Valinor (and definitely not to their deaths for some imaginary promised land).
The Calaquendi would be the ones considered high elves. So, the Vanyar and the Noldor.
Well assuming the fan wiki is right because I cbf going through several books to find out the reality of a fictional world.
Yeah, LotR has a ton of elves and they aren't all so clearly distinct from each other in terms of how they look and their cultures. When Dungeons & Dragons came along, the elves featured in it began to get more condensed. Generally it is High Elf, Wood Elf and Dark Elf in the D&D play books. The High Elves are ones like Galadriel, very regal and wise and often have blonde hair and white skin, living in castles. The Wood Elves are more distrusting of others and seclusive, choosing forests to live in away from others. They have brown, black or reddish hair and aren't as fair skinned. The Dark Elves live in caves and swamps and are hated by everyone due to practicing evil magic and getting corrupted by it. They've got white hair and very dark complexions, shades of brown, black, or even blue skin
I think a lot of stories now featuring elves, especially ones from Korea or Japan, take a lot of inspiration from Dungeons & Dragons type elves and what makes them different from each other. The Record of Lodoss War was a session from Dungeons & Dragons adapted into an animation
I think Warhammer (in particular 40k) has really begun to stretch the concept of "elf" again with... slaanesh.
Those beings are more terrifying than orcs by a long way.
I think LotR, franchise wise, might actually struggle to compete with 40k one day, because 40k has begun to push the boundaries of LotR into something completely new now.
Sauron and the orcs used to terrify me.
Now I know things like slaanesh exist they're no longer as fearsome.
But it still amazes me how so much of the groundwork is purely Tolkein's inspiration. Before him our folk stories were kind blah with these creatures. WWI is a hell of drug.
>LotR, franchise wise, might actually struggle to compete with 40k
It's been dying fast since the hobbit.
>Before him our folk stories were kind blah with these creatures. WWI is a hell of drug.
I guess when you are sitting in a trench until you can't remember when you weren't, with mustard gas, corpses and explosions making you half deaf, you're going to come up with an assortment of nightmare fuel in your mind. I'm glad Christoper imagined wonderful and beautiful visuals to contrast it too. Horrific trauma and brotherhood in the face of death allowed to him make some truly amazing stories
Jesse, what the frick are you talking about?
Prophesy.
Which is why content nowadays that is inspired tends to be censored now. It's so terrifying that the state simply cannot accept it.
Sauron did nothing wrong.
The age of light is over.
>LotR has a ton of elves and they aren't all so clearly distinct from each other in terms of how they look and their cultures
The cultural split between the Noldor and every other elf is pretty fricking big. The only Elves with a lot of overlap culturally are the Silvan Elves because what's left of them are Sindar/Green Elf mutts.
wear some pants, you prostitute
Functionally, the only "high elves" in the lord of the rings are noldor, the ones who went to aman and then came back with the knowledge and power they had gained there, and speaking the language of aman. Even in the story it's a bit of a subversion though, the noldor were banished and their status as the greatest and wisest and fairest of middle earth is pure cope because they're actually the shithead frickups of aman who still aren't even allowed back in the undying lands, when they sail west they have to stay on tol eressea, the fricking guest house of the gods where even mortals are sometimes allowed.
Deedlit was my grade school waifu back when vhs tapes were on a tiny rack labeled japanimation at Hollywood video
Still is a waifu for many because that show has never been topped quality wise since.
I don't know why the 90s never got to the high point again, but after 97 it was all over when digital emerged.
That show, while probably at liberties with direction and some cinematography, is by far the greatest masterpiece of animation to have ever been created and I never knew about that until this year, thinking it was just "overrated oldgay shit". I've been consuming garbage my whole life compared to it.
It's also got games and shit out again now because it's still big.
Lodoss was created in an age when telling a proper story was the first priority. They got a great composer to do the songs and a very talented traditional artist to do the artwork. The story wasn't Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together levels of intricate fantasy, but it was serviceable. The beautiful visuals and engaging music, alongside how captivating and cute Deedlit is, makes it timeless.
The artist illustrating Deedlit gave her so many varied and vibrant expressions throughout the story. Smiling as she plays her lute, pouting from not being paid attention to by Parn, terror as a Dark Elf charges her with a sword, pity looking at Ghim as he drinks in worry, a playful grin as she splashes her face with water from a brook, etc. Every scene with her is really a treasure
Dunedain and Elves used to get misrecognized as one or the other by one another. If you had giant ears shooting out half a foot of either side of your head that wouldn't have happened, so no super long ears in Tolkien.
They don’t even have pointed ears in the books. Just an aesthetic choice in the movies since everyone associates that trait with elves.
I think Chris described the Hobbits having pointed ears, but not long ones, just a bit sharp on the end
who
They're leaf shaped, but I don't think Tolkien specified what leaf.
Personally, I like the expressive long ones.
> Is it me, or are the elf ears in LotR too small?
>They're sorta odd looking and they resemble vulcans more than elves to me now.
>Or have they just become super large and pointy in pop culture to the point where I now associate larger pointy ears with elves?
>t. WoW virgin.
I hate this depiction of elves hentai coomers frick off. In Norse myth they are the immortal spirits of the honoured ancestors, not floppy eared frick dolls.
>spirits of the honoured ancestors
I don't remember that part
Woah a flashlight pretty cool
Then she gave same some rope to ack himself with, what a b***h.
This is definitely her bottled magic elf pussy juice right?
I would say frick it, frick using this in the case I'm trapped in a spider's cave system being actively hunted, and just chug it right in front of her.
>One golden hair from her armpit
>One golden hair crowning her pussy
>One golden hair encircling her butthole
>>One golden hair encircling her butthole
Her butt hole is not hairy.
Gang Gang!
no one seems to remember this ethot managed to make Cinemaphile md5 hash ban all her images from being posted
QRD?
that was it. attempting to post any of her images resulted in a copyright notice claim. its the only time ive ever seen that warning on Cinemaphile. even the weird, fan made creations like the webm of her bodyless head getting a dildo in and out of her neck while she did that stupid aheago face
it happened to me
the most powerful force on the internet, some ethot. how did she do it
>how did she do it
She perfected the carrot on a stick formula, only showing a little bit, but not the full package. At some point though, she went full moron and threw all of that away and started posting her pussy and butthole, along with some sex videos. Instantly her appeal died, now she's just another cosplay prostitute. I don't know what she was thinking
no i mean get Cinemaphile to md5 hash ban her images. matt fury couldnt do it, celebs and the fappening couldnt do it, so on so fourth
Probably got enough money, got bored of playing that game and knew people would massively pay for her first real sex video.
>Probably got enough money, got bored of playing that game and knew people would massively pay for her first real sex video.
Only it's got diminshing returns and would work better in the long run to string people along. Money isn't that great since people who win the lottery or pro athletes who earn millions also go bankrupt because of the lifestyle.
shes been making 1 million a month for years now, if she was going to blow it all she would be doing blacked by now. shes clearly hired a decent accountant/manager
she literally has videos of her sucking black dick my man
on her own contract and terms, yeah. blacked is a company, not just a term. blacked pays shit, her own contract makes her a million a month.
would you suck black dick for a milly?
if i was a ehtot with nothing else going for me? yeah probably, but im a guy, and apparently, i will never be a woman so i think im safe.
that just means the going rate is 15 dollars instead
that's a lot of work to do to make that million
i reckon i could get 3-4 blowjobs in an hour, easy. 12 hours a day, thats roughly 13 grand a month leaving weekends free for myself. thats a million in 6 years. shit, why am i not gay
Damn, anon
not seeing it
No she doesn't cuck.
cope and sneethe, she does
>Money isn't that great since people who win the lottery or pro athletes who earn millions also go bankrupt because of the lifestyle.
that doesnt prove that money isnt great, its just because those people are morons.
The memes laughing at tlou2 got that too.
That never happened. Its' a rumor. There are several threads even to this day.
She just used to dmca Cinemaphile posts about her on slower boards like /hr/ and /gif/. Then those posts that got took down ended up having their files hash banned.
God she was so much hotter before the boob job. That hip to waist ratio is pure kino
>Tone, what's the Elvish word for c**t?
>get frodo on the phone, butthole!
all that elvish magical bullshit she no doubt has access too and this dumb broad gave him a fricking flashlight.
She thought he was gonna die right away.
To be fair, it was a really good flashlight. It was like holy water that you didn't have to sprinkle, you just needed to shine it on things
yay thanks for the halogen bulb
>what's in the vial
>pcp
5 liters?
>and for you Frodo my bath water, drink it when you feeling horny aight?
>Sam, fr you get a free month to my onlyfans, may my butthole guide you in your times of desperation
>for you pimpin and mary, you low key get a used pair of panties to smell
>gimly you wanted a thread of hair from my golden bush? No cap, here's 3
>aragon... find me after the meeting and I'll give you your reward 😉
>and Legolas, you an elf frfr so no gift for you *dabs*
>And for you, my dude; I got this dank old skool flashlight, yo. It's like, mad bright and shit. Light saber shit, fr fr, no cap, G. Keep dat' shit on your quest, bro.
Somehow this elf lady giving them a flashlight, magic rope, and strands of her hair is more touching than isekai goddesses handing out broken weapons left and right to protagonists
because bugman tranime has no soul, literally
First, you tell Frodo to swallow the ring to keep it secret and safe, and that the plan is to get him to Mount Doom and shit it out into the lava. He is not to tell anyone about its existence.
Then, you get 15 or 20 other hobbits together and tell them that they are Frodo’s honor guard and that they are taking him on an important secret mission and are to shoot arrows at any bad guys that get too close. Then you tell the Eagles that all of the Hobbits are actually evil goblin shapeshifters, and they are not to be spoken or listened to under any circumstances, but only dropped into the lava at Mount Doom.
Then everyone takes off and a cloud of eagles stoop on Mt. Doom from all directions, with Frodo in the middle. You also have decoy eagles fly north and south of Mt. Doom.
So the eagle flies to the big cave, and Frodo starts unbuckling his pants to shit the ring out, but then the Eagle just drops him in the lava. Fricking sorted one afternoon.
If you fed or otherwise inserted the ring into someone wholly unaware would they still be ensnared by it?
If I was dying I would like to watch all episodes of Pawn Stars followed by LOTR trilogy.
you are dying, just slowly
Its a buttplug isnt it
"Whops" *drops it and it smashes into the floor"
not a joke but i love the music when she says this
musics for gays
>Ah yes, there you are, do come in. This is my most trusted advisor, Grimy Liarbetray.
was theoden fricking moronic?
is that gamergirl pee?
>DID YOU DO IT FRODO, DID YOU THROW THE RING INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE???
Genuinely one of the best moments
Mother to the fellowship
Literal fricking magic
>Frodo did I ever tell you about my creepy genocidal uncle, Feanor?
>He was a good friend
>hands her some folded bills with a handshake
>yo thanks for hooking a brother up
HEART? The power of HEART? No fireballs or summoning a suckmebus? This is bullshit, you frickin *SHTONK, gets killed by an arrow*
Can you just, like, sit on my face or something?
>live for thousands of years in shitty ass Middle Earth
>finally get to leave for the Undying Lands
>wait lol Elrond/Galadriel orders you to die a pointless death just before you leave
>yfw
elves get remade in the undying lands when they die anyway, no big deal
Never happened in the books
Hackson is shit
Unfortunately, Christopher canonized one of his father's more moronic ideas (which Tolkien himself never put into neither LOTR, Hobbit, or the Silmarillion) - that Elves reincarnate after a period of time, which breaks so many storylines I wouldn't even know where to begin.
There was literally ONE Elf in history who refused reincarnation.
Feanor was put in the tard cage forever, his mother simply gave up on life forever after giving birth to such an autist.
Which storylines precisely are broken by this? Im not contradicting you but it certainly ties into elves being fundamentally tied to THIS world while humans go on to an unknown place even to the Valar.
Do they ever elaborate on what respawned Elves do? It seems like their world-weariness and sea-longing and such basically means that once dead they will just chill in eternal valinor bliss either way (except feanor) so its not like they can keep coming back
source?
Check out my twelve year old sister's little ring a ding dingers.
???
>Scented elf bath water
Imagine the smell. Just what you need to keep your motivation high when things are getting grim
I think I'll try watching the first episode of the new Rangz. What am I in for?
slop
It can't be worse than The Witcher, right? ...Right?
>What am I in for?
It's ok, Clark pretty much carries it though
Sounds like Henry in The Witcher, having to carry the entire show himself and got it really heavy, especially in season 3. It is near unwatchable, mostly because Henry doesn't get much screentime
>And to you, Chosen Undead, I give you a full restore. Now I don't want to see you hoarding these and ending up with 5 by the end of the game. Use it you little shit.
OUH LAWWWWWWWWWWWD DEM RANGZ DEM KHANGZ DEM CHICKEN FRIEND WANGZ
>"...and to you samwise gamgee...a rope, go hang urself u little gayet"
what did she mean by this?
>And for you, Samwise Gamgee, Elven
rope made of hithlain. the finest and strongest silk known to middle earth, its the only thing that can hold your weight when you hang urself u fat gayet
>it's just water
Is this Middle Earth's version of homeopathy?