so how pozzed is it?
saw they turned the blonde love interest into a mystery mutt
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anyone watch this yet?
so how pozzed is it?
saw they turned the blonde love interest into a mystery mutt
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I think Jake Gylenhall is a good actor but he's really ugly and hard to watch because of it. I realize I am in the minority.
Bro Jake is fkn handsome and he fricked Tay Tay so good and proceeded to discard her like a used condom that she wrote a 10-minute song about it.
Tay is a closet lesbian and all her bfs are gay or hired.
shes bi. she def was a wienersleeve thats why she hated men now and has beards while she secretly dates women celebs who sign ndas
maybe on planet moron
still not over
He's so sexy, I'd swallow his cum and eat his ass if I could.
He's obviously an attractive man, but I think his mouth looks like an old person's mouth. Does anyone else think this?
Jake's image: muscular bod + soulful gaze
Jake's go-to characterization: men who don't have anything together, is always a step away from Falling Down.
I'm a hetero male and usually don't see what a lot of people see when certain male stars are called handsome. Jake is undoubtedly a very handsome man.
>Jake is undoubtedly a very handsome man.
his obvious try hard spirit is more offputting than his nice aesthetics
he always looks likes he's acting he's never natural in any role he's ever done
>le broken man cuz killed guy in ring
>quip 24/7
I don't know what this means
he's just a very poor actor
>Jake
>poor actor
What? I haven't seen this, so he might stink in it, but come on now.
Not that anon. He's phoning it in bigly but he's still the best actor in this by miles.
In what world is Jake Gyllenhall ugly, you fricking moron?
one of the best looking men ever despite being a israelite. really odd opinion but hey you realize you are in the minority
Anon he's pretty handsome but he's not one of the best looking men ever. Not everything has to be extremes
>Mystery meat mutt
Go watch it for yourself and form your own opinion instead of being a braindead NPC, Leeroy. I'm sure you have 2 hours to spare.
>two white men being toxically masculine and being glorified
>ZOMG A BLACK PERSON
frick off moron
We don't want no Blacks. We have the israelite fatigue and that my friend is dangerous.
I want Jakey to breed my pussey
This movie is so bad. It’s so bad, I would actually say it’s worth a partial watch. It’s like they wrote down everything Cinemaphile hates and decided to make it a movie. The only thing missing is Warwick Davis.
>It’s like they wrote down everything Cinemaphile hates and decided to make it a movie.
Examples?
Gyllenhal is so unbelievable as a tough guy they have to do these like action hero jump cuts for every punch he throws. Every girl is a girlboss don’t take no shit from anybody with five degrees from Columbia and Brown. Mystery meats everywhere. Fat girl love interests. The biker gang is the funniest thing of all. They drive fricking crotch rockets and mopeds. But since gang members can’t be brown in film anymore, they look like a frat party. It’s like the only concept of a biker gang anyone working on the film had were street takeover videos from youtube. It’s so truly bad, it’s worth a watch just for the amount of cringe.
>Every girl is a girlboss don’t take no shit from anybody with five degrees from Columbia and Brown
A woman owns a bar and is so weak she has to seek a white man to save her. No women are beating up men in the movie. All of the bouncers and stuff are men.
> Mystery meats everywhere
Pretty sure they're all black, white, or latino. That's just how Florida is. Maybe you're just blind or moronic
> Fat girl love interests
lie
>But since gang members can’t be brown in film anymore,
Half of them are latino and brown. Why are you so sensative that a couple of bikers are cast as white guys?
>No women are beating up men in the movie
Watch it again
Particularly in the "HEY BAR FIGHT!!" scene
this. I think it was a really poor choice in casting but in modern Hollywood what men are actually masculine? sure they may be buff but they never come off as tough or manly.
Those close ups on his face while he's in the UFC cage screaming were hilarious though. Wouldn't want to mess with him!
God damn is that Daniela?
>t.hates Raging Bull
raging bull fricking sucks
>Every girl is a girlboss don’t take no shit from anybody with five degrees from Columbia and Brown. Mystery meats everywhere. Fat girl love interests. The biker gang is the funniest thing of all. They drive fricking crotch rockets and mopeds. But since gang members can’t be brown in film anymore,
thanks
all I needed to know
Stop believing everything you read on the internet.
the post he was replying to literally says what’s in the actual movie
saw it and this is accurate
anybody disagreeing with this post is a literal shill
I thought the movie sucked but as far as wokeness go its weird. It felt to me like minorities were only there because they had to be. All of the main characters are white men but for some reason all of the towns people in the Florida Keys are all Black folks....weird. Besides that there's nothing blatantly preachy or anything in it though.
and anyone who b***hes about the hot brazilian girl is just straight up gay. The only problem with her was she didn't get naked.
Kek that was supposed to be the the keys? I would’ve never known, it should’ve been all geriatric homosexual men as the residents.
Whoever wrote the movie is a complete moron.
>The Keys being filled with blacks
>The Keys having crocodiles
Only Key West is filled with homosexuals. The rest of the keys are filled with drug smugglers and retired millionaires out fishing, and regular Floritards who have lived there forever.
>The rest of the keys are filled with drug smugglers and retired millionaires out fishing, and regular Floritards who have lived there forever.
False! I watched the movie. It is filled with mostly black people that listen to zydeco music and occasionally you might see a hispanic person.
>for some reason all of the towns people in the Florida Keys are all Black folks
Which makes it even worse because if you have ever been to the Keys, there are barely any black people. I think I maybe saw 2 the entire week I was there.
isn't florida filled with Black folk though? i honestly don't know but have heard that. maybe it was just miami
not where im from. nice place, nice beaches, 90% white
>The only thing missing is Warwick Davis
He will be added with CGI in the Special Edition.
I got fricking ten minutes into this shit before I turned it off and started watching the original. How the frick can you be so far off the mark? Unless the filmmaker hates the original and intentionally created the most insultingly bad remake as a big frick you to swayze kino. It's so fricking bad I couldn't even stomach it with half a bottle of rum in me. And what the frick is gyllenhal doing in this thrash? Total irredeemable shite.
Based brother! I stuck around till the Final Boss fight and turned it off immediately.
I'm sure there were open questions like
>does Dalton get the girl
>what about her father
>do the cops arrest Dalton
>what happened to the bookstore mutts
>do they set up a sequel
But I simply did not care. This film never gave me a reason to.
no
don't know
no he leaves town on the bus
they got the money Dalton stole
kinda, mcgregor leaves the hospital in his gown in a mid credits scene
that was funny at the end after the credits.
i doth LoL'd
No shit? This is almost A.I. tier.
Did they ever explain "why" Dalton killed his best friend? I kept expecting to hear he stole his wife or something.
he got pushed too far or some shit
Hmm. Yeah, they tried to make it seem like once you push Dalton too far, he becomes a serial killer. But they never really earned that.
In college, I was tossed out of bars plenty. But I'd sneak back in. The Road House was wide open. They couldn't kick drunk people out if they tried. And while we're at it, was what that fat troony bartender b***h overserving everyone?
>fat troony bartender b***h
ummmmmmmmmmm........
call it BLACK coffee again and you will be banned from this bar.
it is CUBAN AMERICAN coffee. Try again, sweetie
that shit is liquid cocaine
Since you got offended when you saw this you just shouldn't watch it at all because you'll shit yourself and cry when the black woman shows up.
They made her look ugly FFS. Doug Liman is a fricken hack dude made the action sequences look like shite.
I agree but he's made good action movies before so it doesn't really make any sense. I would have overall enjoyed it if the action scenes were better. The punches were especially bad, they had absolutely no weight to them.
>Doug Liman is a fricken hack
This is what I don't get. Doug is a kino machine. He has made great action movies. I think there was frickery with the studio and he just phoned it in. He has directed:
>Bourne Identity
>Mr.and Mrs. Smith
>Edge of Tomorrow
among others.
Liman is a sucky dude. But Edge of Tomorrow was amazing. Likely because Cruise and McQuarrie saved his bacon. (I also thought Locked Down was fun, but not amazing)
ZOOM OUT
HOLY SHIT PLEASE ZOOM OUT
are you stupid? you know how much more work it would be to do the impact effect? there's no budget for that on this tv show or whatever
wtf is this supposed to be
why isn't he facing traffic when he walks on the road
This is exactly what goes through my head constantly whenever I walk on a sidewalk.
lmao all the CGI shots in this movie are so insanley jarring.
Soul
>see hot Portuguese woman
>chuds seethe about wokeness
Fricking deranged
go back to redddit or whatever commie pit you came from.
since everyone is a "chud" why are you here pussy?
kys homosexual
People are b***hing about Melchior? Kek come on now
Ratty is best girl, but /misc/tards/ insist otherwise. They are broken inside.
its a classic White movie they turned into a brownoid shit fest.
you would feel betrayed too if you were White, and not mentally ill.
>they turned into a brownoid shit fest!!! *cries /misc/ tears*
Enjoy suffering for the rest of your life, because "Aryan White Males" are -- 3% of the world's population at most and falling rapidly. Expect that to be reflected in all arts.
>Expect that to be reflected in all arts.
not because of earning it, that is certain..
not crying, just amused at how pathetic brown "people" are and how weak the israeli "people" that kneel to them are.
such is life in the current year
Art is made for an audience. And today that audience is not angry pale incels seething in their divorced Mother's apartment.
non-whites prefer to see white people on screen.
Except for Black Panther (heavily shilled at a time capeshit was being pushed and hyped everywhere) and Spider-Verse, blockbuster movies starring nonwhites (particularly blacks) and blackwashing movies/series in general massively underperform or flop.
That includes not just the US but also the markets of mostly nonwhite countries btw
it's not about money anymore
or rather not immediate profit
the goal is to replace the population with non-whites because they think they are easier to manipulate & control as wagies/slaves
media is normalizing it so whites don't revolt about being quietly genocided
also non-whites reproduce faster therefore more "workers"
member when all the billionaires were panicking about birthrates & replacement rates?
notice how no one is talking about it anymore?
Let's see how these companies deal with the low-skill, low IQ, low productivity, low value types that are being born in the lowest productivity regions of the world and willing to immigrate to countries where they'd be mostly a social burden.
the companies will crash & collapse like the countries.
the leaders & the owners will get rich and get away with it.
everybody else is gonna pay for it.
>the leaders & the owners will get rich and get away with it.
Less so and among ruins both literal and material (which could include a devalued dollar and a smaller world in the sense that several countries are closing their doors to these types).
These multimillionaires will die way before the weird and utterly unlikely transhumanist age some of them envisage comes about.
the pay off comes when it all collapses and globalism saves the day!
basically they're setting fire to everything and waiting to rule the ashes after.
their figurehead even looks like the villain from Demolition Man where a dystopian socialist society was established after a global catastrophe.
>basically they're setting fire to everything and waiting to rule the ashes after.
They'll eventually change course because that scenario would be a worthless "victory" and systemic collapse would soon follow.
It has reached an impasse though because these ESG projects didn't simply lose money: they lost credibility AND the audience. People are moving on and changing entertainment habits rather than changing their opinions.
There were some good movies w/black protagonists but the woke agenda has ironically mismanaged that too.
Ive never seen anything good with a black protagonist unless you count samurai champloo and even then mugen is not even black just a homiefied japanese guy
pic related
I also like 90s Denzel Washington
I forgot to mention blade thats a good onr
not angry, just amused at how pathetic, incompetent and ridiculous brown "people" are.
you call it "art" i call it a delusional joke not based on or cemented in real life facts or reality at all.
> Here's another post about how not angry I am. About a streaming movie remake.
you keep trying to imply i am angry, not angry, just not going to stay quiet about a complete falacy of a movie where black "people" run bookstores and give away free books or head up million dollar beach front nightclubs in the Florida Keys.
tell me more how you want that prime consumer dollar from
> BLACK
> beach going
> surf aficionado
> chill
> service staff patronizing
> affluent
> sophisticated
> not aggressive
> responsible drinking
lol
the reality immersion is broken instantly when you mix BLACKS & beach culture in a positive light.
Its like forcing a black family in the hood that insists on attending the Opera when they hate Classical music, have no appreciation for music history, do not like dressing up and only like rap
in reality on planet earth every black club that has opened down here quickly has shootings and murders in the parking lot and quickly goes out of business.
i have seen this first hand, look up that guy Luke from Too Live Crew.
he bought a club down here, murders in the parking lot and complete breakdown of the business within a year.
lets tell it like it really is..
No smoking in the entire film either. I thought this was Florida? They invented vaping!
she's hot but she can barely fricking speak english.
Every line sounded like "KAL-EL, NO!"
The movie could've been better if they had toned Conor a little down and made him the buddy of the bouncer coming to his rescue when shit is getting serious. The actual bad guy could've been Tom Hardy.
>The movie could've been better if they had
SHOWN SOME FRICKING breasts!!!
no anon see that would offend the feminist demographic that wanted to see this movie, the bartender proves that.
sorry no more breasts for you in the current year..
all businesses must be run by wise and generous black men giving away free books, and strong leadership rolls must be played by the almighty black woman, and all villains must be White.
do /misc/ shits really watch movies looking for political demographics? you idiots are the exact same as sjw's. your mind is broken.
>people seething about movies are just like people who want to rape kids and let Black folk rape your wife
wow i never thought about it like that
They're two sides of the same coin perpetually butthurt and looking for something to be outraged over. I genuinely feel sorry for them because that has to be a miserable way to live.
Dude, le people who just want to enjoy a normal, fun movie are the REAAAAL SNOWFLAAKES!
Except you are. Trust me, I totally get the complaints about mystery meat etc and even I'm swayed when I saw screenshots of her. Then I watched the film and she was lovely, warm, attractive, and a nice person. There's no insult being rendered against you, if anything the b***h is in reverence of the white man. You guys just get upset because troons have trained you to be so.
>attractive
disagree
she looked like every other afro puff clown with a silly ass nappy head
This. she was so ugly with her goofy hair that it was distracting
the opening song is called Horsepower by Post Malone
i want to like this movie so bad, its just.. ruined with cancer
what is it like to live in denial?
you dumb frick leftist roaches really do live in a fantasy land.
>why do you bring guns to the gunfight? you guys are the exact same as the guys who started to shoot
Thats the thing, I tried not to be like /misc/ I can be pretty forgiving. but in the first 10min we got:
>strong black woman bar owner
>black owned bookstore with a mixed race and possibly autistic daughter
Which in the Florida Keys is weird. I saw 2 black people the entire week I was there.
then we got:
>all bad guys were white
>motorcycle gang was perfectly diverse
>only white woman was a fat dyke
Any one of these is fine, but all of them in the same movie is just hard to ignore.
anybody saying it isn’t woke is either an actual shill or a troll
like clockwork
it was kino
When the cellphone started ringing I really thought for a second he was going to pull it from his ass.
I thought Connor McGregor was lightweight, did he gain weight for this?
he gained the weight a while ago after his fake retirement.
He's been roiding hard since his leg broke
>did the man who singlehandedly ended drug testing in the UFC gain weight since his fake retirement?
>naked men GOOD naked women BAD
you must be homo
humiliation ritual
Does he look humiliated to you, gay?
frickkk
Not seeing his ballsack ruined my immersion.
OK you convinced me, watching this right now. Any other Cinemaphile for this feel?
kino
Chandelier is gonna drop macgoober like a sack oh potatoes
you're worse than sportsball dorks
This wasn't scripted btw, Gooby just turned up on set after a coke binge and the director kept the cameras rolling
save your unfunny jokes when you go back on reddit, b***h
Takes one to know one
ur rite I 'was' a predditor... but now im here so it makes a difference i think
i invented "ur"
not joking.
you stand on my shoulders.
not a fan of that meme, i use those images and am damn for sure not an incel or a redditor
wow your post of a cartoon character shooting a gun means you shot him in real life!!!!
so scary
mmm hmmm
i live in Florida, and i own tonz
of gunz.. sorry you are a beta pussy.
better luck next life
yes it was, I enjoyed it. Its silly in many ways but I think this was intentional. It was a fun flick and will watch it again in the future probably. Ending had me lulzing
>bends over butt naked
>no balls or wiener visible
confirmed dicklet
I wish to god this little homosexual would get murdered or something.
he's pretty based irl but yeah he's a god-awful actor
>he's pretty based irl
no he used to be. now he's just another coked up homosexual screaming at people about his glory days. he is rich though so good for him
he's pretty anti-immigration and is a nationalist
that's pretty based to me
i like his character in the movie looking at it from a comedic viewpoint.
weird creepy smile and ogre like ufc walk and all =]
hes funny, and he is based in real life, and he has earned the right to be a wienery sob.
What happened after this guy's shin got split in half? You just recover from something like that and make a movie?
Where are the balls?
Thread is full of libtards and butt pirates. I'm outta here, mijo.
lol did they really remove the best character in the original?
Replaced with Post Malone, and I am not even kidding! Thankfully he only has a cameo early on in the film.
I can't believe they expected us to buy his flabby ass being a badass prize fighter
He legitimately has like c-cup b***h breasts and the pear-shaped body of an antifa general. It was the most non-believable part of the whole film, and that is saying something!
Was Sam Elliot ever not old?
he cute
Shouldve been Khabib.
a mystery mutt? you mean the portuguese woman with full 100% european blood?
the american brain is truly something else
It’s just a sheltered autist.
she’s brown
Even if it’s not trash why would you watch it when the original holds up great? There wasn’t a single reason to remake this movie.
watched it twice.
turned if off half way through on the second time.
too much fake shit for me to enjoy it.
a brownoid would never own beach front property in the keys, with a popular bar attached to it.
the mystery meat mutt girl in the book store also annoys me.
sick of Hollywood fake diversity bullshit.
it makes movies unwatchable and i will not support it.
and the white male protagonist had to be ultra nice and a friend to all non whites,
and all the other white males were bad guys
is that not the most amusing part?
all Whites are the bad guys.. i would laugh if it were not so fricking sad and fake.
Yes whites who vote for Trump are unironically not people
Holy frick seek help you mentally ill morons
The first gang he fight have Black folk and mutts.
>watched it twice.
i was thinking what would make me watch this twice. there isnt much.
i like the opening scenes and song, the stabbing, and the first scenes of him slapping them all, after that i turned it off. that should tell you how much i can handle.
>wtf why are there brown people in a former Spanish/Mexican colony???
Why do /misc/gays talk about the actors' races and never the film itself?
>protip: because they don't watch films that aren't pornographic
protip: you are not a pro at anything and and that expression is as tired and stale as you are.
seethe more for me brownoid
Jake's character is so reddit
>le reluctant badass
>Depressed
>Constantly quipping
>You wouldn't like him when he's angry
>beating people up then driving them to the hospital after
>Beating people up then giving them a webmd run down of all the things he just broke
Yeah it didn't make any sense why the woman was so desperate for help when the bar was pretty much full all the time and for the most part they just seemed like people drinking and having fun. If the gangsters were actually hurting business you wouldn't think she'd be able to afford to pay a UFC fighter 20,000 to beat them up.
>beating people up then driving them to the hospital after
The first 10min I was skeptical of the movie, but when he drove the people to the hospital I knew the movie was a failure from then on. That scene was just dumb and really set the tone for how fricking unfunny and light the movie was trying to be.
It just goes to show how pussy modern movies are that they have to drive the badguys to the hospital as to not trigger the twitter crowd.
I liked it better than Nice Guys which I watched before.
I'll just watch the original again instead.
good man
embrace tradition
only thing I don't like about the original is the love interest is used goods
Dalton was an idiot in the original, chasing after that blonde instead of that cute little singer/barmaid.
to be fair fricking her to
>these arms of mine
while her cuck rich ex boyfriend is watching was pretty based
so mad the nurses breasts are those shit 80s bolt ons. Goddmanit.
I watched the original recently, it didn't really hold up well some other films from the time, but Swayze (with Sam Elliot's help) did carry it.
>it didn't really hold up well some other films from the time
homosexual
>that cute little singer/barmaid.
blind homosexual
Yeah, as the remake continued, I was hoping that Dalton would meet Sam Elliot's character or maybe talk about being a Cooler.
That was my problem with the movie, he doesn't talk about being a bouncer or really keeping the business clean. He's just a guy who knows how to beat up people.
And most importantly he didn't go to NYU and get a degree in philosophy, "Man's search for faith, that sort of shit"
I used to frick guys like you in prison (no homo)
>used to
Not gonna lie a lot of crazy shit goes down in Florida
Would love to see more movies tv shows set in post covid Florida
the opening is cool, the music is cool. the fight scenes are good, you can have the rest.
all but 10 minutes? of the movie is cancer. the doctor chick has pretty eyes..
meh
Should've just sold the damn bar. Place was a shithole
Was it really though? It just seemed like a pretty regular bar and was in an A+ location. Definitely didn't seem like problems worth paying $20,000 for.
i live in Florida and worked clubs my entire life, there is no beach front bar multi million dollar property popular place owned by a toad, ever.
if a toad ever buys a club it quickly goes to shit with shootings and gets shut down.
enough with the hollywood israeli bullshit
That place made money hand over fist and was basically the only place to go to at night in that town.
Good lord
there’s also a really long shot of a white girl flirting with a black guy
it’s like 15 seconds long
umpf
discount lana rhoades
I had to rewatch this scene because the ass immediately distracted me
Literally the movie's best scene.
post hands
Autizmo reaction
disgusting
it looked so budget/cheap when jake slapped the first guys, i was like wtf did he just do kill a misquote
i liked when he drove them to the hospital and Kokomo was playing. that was good.
really? That was when I knew the movie was shit and wasn't going to improve. It was cringe, not funny and set the tone that its not taking itself seriously
i could tell you i worked as a bouncer for years and have run night clubs where i fought 2 guys or more 5 times a week, almost every night, and have stopped shootings and stabbings, but would you believe me?i found humor in it, because it is something i would do.
>taking itself seriously
What a cringe quality to require. Even the most serious films are just some people playing pretend.
>strong black female bar owner
>black owned book store with mixed race autist girl
>almost all the bad guys were white
>brown skin foreigner love interest
>only white woman was a fat dyke bartender
>only nudity was a man's ass
>90% of the bar bands were black
CGI was laughable bad, dialogue was also bad, fight scenes were awful with the CGI and fast edits. It looked nice and McGregor was surprisingly the better part of the movie. Somehow still entertaining. Wont watch again but I've seen the original one 100 times
6/10
pretty spot on. Even without the diversity shit the movie itself was just not great. The overly edited fight scenes made it worse.
great summary
thanks
>anyone watch this yet?
no. im not a sexually frustrated, middle-aged wonman
>mystery mutt
>100% european
American israelite post. have a nice day.
Nice try, moortugalian
They should've casted Elliot Page instead of McGregor imo
they turned the cute frumpy waitress into a big ol fatty
another laughable disgusting thing..
no self respecting Florida bar on the beach would have a roller pig behind the bar.
its just sjw cancer
damn shame
RIP Swayze
>roller pig behind the bar.
Oh hai
> Considerately brings food supplies to the newly arrived coworker
> not groceries
> not something he could prepare
> not breakfast food
> delivers take out
> from ethnic food truck
> garbage nutrition
This is portrayed as "mmmm yums wholesome nom noms - shes an angel"
Letting you know shes the Yelp Elite that can recommend the top kitchy cuisine hole in the walls
It was hard to get through at times because the dialogue and acting is god awful. It’s one of those movies that doesn’t trust the viewer comprehend what’s happening so they have to over explain everything.
You guys are such losers. Like holy shit.
go away
shoo fly
who's the target audience?
let be bang bro, mma fans?
Twitter users, Californians, and New Yorkers
I would suck farts out of Jessica Williams' ass.
It's a travesty that she wasn't in a bikini in this movie.
She still exuded absolute SEXO in this movie.
>She still exuded absolute SEXO in this movie.
Wut?
She looks like Serena Williams and had ZERO sex appeal / sensuality.
Now go watch the original. The EXTRAS were dripping with sexuality
Looks like zesty gay shit
It's a terrible movie on every level but it's pretty weird to see people sperg out over race when that's the least of its problems and every important character was white anyway.
Who thought filming the fights this way was a good idea? Plus there was no reason to drag it out so much, it was insane.
>every important character was white anyway.
EVERY IMPORTANT CHARACTER was a bad guy
> sheriff
> trust fund baddie boss
> thug leader
> leprechaun henchman
> troubled minority savior mma psychopath
The fights look stupid and it's dumb as frick, but I like it.
SEX
can’t act for shit and has no breasts or ass
doesn’t even put out in the movie lmfao
she puts out in the movies she made with me
Melchior's character
"Hottest" woman (comparatively speaking....not even hotter than the EXTRAS in the original movie)
aggressively pursues the protagonist romantically. Jake shutters from her advances and recoils when he's treated like a piece of frickmeat.
Its hilariously bad at how SHE wears the masculine energy and he the feminine energy.
> She pursues him
> She out flexes him by picking him up in a big dick boat
> She drives him to the open water implication
> She brings everything for a low tide beach lounge
> she pushes him into a sexual role
> she SAVES his life at a pivotal cant win ultimatum
> she was the le badass confronting him as the thug that beat up the bad guys in the ER
> HE didnt even rescue her at the end. She wouldve escaped on her own (they made a point to make that obvious)
Daniela is pretty but she looks kinda meh in the movie, too skinny with a weird skin tone, her tan looks artificial. They should have told her to work out, sunbathe naked somewhere for a month or so and arrive in the set with a natural tan.
Her lines are overly le assertive woman and the scene where she slaps HER FATHER is totally absurd, cartoonish and out of sync with how the movie plays out.
It's bad. I don't know how Jake agreed to this. He's grimacing throughout the movie like he knows how shitty it is.
Kek, that actually makes the movie way better. Just imagine that blank-stare pursed lips expression he wears throughout the film as his own personal hell. He thought he was gonna be Swayze and TNT would be showing this between Con-Air and The Rock for decades to come. He knew he fricked up.
Apple has to encourage the ppl involved in these projects to take more risks and be creative/make an effort instead of being by the numbers hired hands. And if it wants to appeal to a male demographic (as it should), present moments of female beauty and sensuality instead of the vaguely homoerotic approach of the movie.
The plot is interesting and cinematography's good. It is however a subpar movie because the directing/screenwriting is mediocre.
The full story itself was not adequately conceptualized and it seems stiff/ by the numbers here and there.
Jake and Connor seem to have had too much say in the script and their quipping gets in the way. The movie's too wordy in general with cliche, poorly written dialogue and the lonesome cowboy metaphor is too on the nose, there's a predictability to it all.
Ultimately, it fails to take risks and the sudden tonal shift towards brutal violence happens too late when the previous, relatively mild tone was already established.
Frick no, I ain't wasting my time on this bullshit. So a MMA fighter thinks he's a actor now, the frick do I care
I thought ot was pretty good. Watched it with a few of the lads while the wife went on vacation to Jamaica with the girls
Lucky anon, my gf is at a workshop with her boss all weekend, time to enjoy me some KINO and a couple of ipa's, don't mind if I do!
Classic bait. Bravo
>the wife went on vacation to Jamaica with the girls
based, I hope you gave her enough spending money
can anyone see themselves watching this a second time, ever? it felt like a bad acid trip
2 actors in this film have also played Sarah Gadon's husband
>Gyllenhaal spent months getting in shape for this dogshit
>it gets a quiet release on amazon prime
>nobody wants to watch it
kek
its #1 on prime
It's entirely missing what made the original good.
>good actors
>cowboy/samurai movie in a modern setting that makes zero sense
>who cares just play it straight and have fun
Does Conner win?
No, he gets poked with a few sticks then suddenly goes limp. It's really weird.
>so how pozzed is it?
who cares?
the original is perfect
whether the remake is pozzed or not, doesn't matter, because it doesn't need to exist
just watch the original
>just watch the original
agree with this. remake is pointless
It was 6/10 just for mcgegor being so bad it was good, he unironically carried the film with his energy
I dont know what it's called but some of the fight scenes had this weird effect where things were obviously sped up to make it more impactful but it just looks like shit. Movie was way too long for what it was too.
I really like Jake Gyllenhaal but he's just a weird guy and should play weird characters. He can definitely be intimidating but not physically. He could take 1000 more roids and I'm not gonna take him seriously as a tough guy
>It was 6/10 just for mcgegor being so bad it was good, he unironically carried the film with his energy
This. He hammed it up so much he could have easily ruined the movie but he had the opposite effect.
>fight scenes had this weird effect where things were obviously sped up to make it more impactful but it just looks like shit
I think I hated this more than the diversity squad cast. A movie about fighting, had shitty fight scenes with weird editing and CGI
>It was 6/10 just for mcgegor being so bad it was good, he unironically carried the film with his energy
100% this, worth a watch just for mcgregors cult classic performance, when he's not on screen your wondering where he is and what he's up to.
>make bar owner a dude
>make Ratfu his sister
they had too much going on with the cop father and her basically forcing herself on to Jake
>mcgregors cult classic performance
Remake LEPRECHAUN with McGregor instead of Warwick Davis
> instant hit
>they had too much going on with the cop father and her basically forcing herself on to Jake
Their chemistry was less than zero bc Jake's style is often apathetic and the weary warrior trope makes for a very unengaging persona, the main character comes across as dull rather than cool and the fracture descriptions he gives his foes are ridiculous.
The character also lacks the proactive straight sexual charisma and the fact that she's the one who makes a move results in very stiff scenes and interaction.
This is one of those few times where the woke parts of the movie don't even contribute to how awful it is on its own.
the woke parts were the icing on an already shitty cake
Things to learn from this thread:
The movie is really really bad, but if you’re already paying for MAX or whatever. Watch it for sure.
Connor McGregor can’t act for shit, but chews the scenery in a way that works for extended screen time.
If you’re a black independent bookstore owner in the Florida Keys, you’re seriously in danger of racist white frat boys riding Vespas to set your store on fire.
>white frat boys
They were mexicans
Overuse of CGI. Even punches are CGI
jake looks like tim kennedy
Hunting Hitler is kino
>they turned the blonde love interest into a mystery mutt!
"Non-Nordics in Florida? How is that believable?"
>hollywood so out of ideas they're literally remake randomly movies from the 70s and 80s
Really? You're kidding, when did they start doing that?
recently
>Movies Are Completely.....
The formula is really simple
You want an engaging, deep classic movie?
> protagonist motivations CANNOT be tied to needing romantic affirmation
> protagonist should be struggling with crisis in themselves (fear, responsibility, challenge, etc) in addition. The antagonist cant simply be 'le bad guy' that likes to sit on your cake
> no token minorities
> no super aggressive bulletproof female characters
> no indecisive weak b***hmade male characters (particularly white roles)
> no bizzaro world forces tropes (affluent blacks from the hood that go to the Opera and study Calculus to fight preppy white boy criminals)
Measure that formula against movies and you get
> master and commander
> there will be blood
> hell or high water
> Conan
> predator
> platoon
> godfather
> goodfellas
> true detective season 1
>McGregor's character
Its obvious Knox is The Nutty Professor "Buddy Love" character.
He is Testosterone incarnate. His character is what its like to do Tren while chewinf 5 gum. He's a raging oversexed, gyper aggressive, muscle engorged, MANIC unsatiably hungry ogre. He is a walking ID alter ego. This makes him out of his mind. The crisis between Jake and Knox (quite literally "kox") is the same moronation with Hulk vs _gamma enemy__ only the Hulk is aloof and too cool for school.
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> tldr lazy writing from morons
how about instead of Road House it is called Brown House or Shit House?
it is so realistic to black "people" 's kind and giving nature.
so wise, so intelligent, so generous.
I can't believe the Leftist argument is that Road House "wasn't THAT pozzed". As if, there being a dozen non-white characters isn't being woke.
Pick a different hill to die on, cause this ain't it.
somehow they tricked normies into thinking just one black actor isn't considered diversity that it's acceptable
it's not and truly if this wasn't a remake of white kino and had been an original film nobody would be upset - we just wouldn't watch it
It's pozzed indirectly, in a non-ideological/talking points way.
This
is essentially true (the love interest is Mediterranean and the bands were all white/black and 3 or 4 of the thugs are black/latin but other than that it's accurate).
So the movies essentially tries to normalize a mixed-race setting and slightly favors nonwhites by depicting them as sympathetic (all of them supporting cast however).
fricking snowflake
the dialogue is terrible and the cgi is distracting
I'm a big fan of Jeff Healey (blind bandleader from the first film). So when the film paraded out like 5 different bands and gave them all mini music videos with bar brawls, I knew something was amiss. Does anybody even buy movie soundtracks anymore??
>UPDATE:
So I pulled up this kino song to really stick it to liberal zoomers.
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And of course the music video love interest is a black chick. I don't self report, but damn, I guess the 80s were woke too!
...but then I see something funny - the blind bandleader is actually IRL blind?!! How is he so fricking musically talented with no fricking eyes! And why did that black girl lie to him and say she was white!
That was actually huge in the 80s, fricking a blind person while pretending you're a different race
They even made a film about it called "The Human Stain" which sounds like someone has skid marks in their tighty whiteys
good tune, but it ain't know don't throw stones
no, and the way that toad butchered the Sublime song was a disgrace.
another point about that movie all non-Floridians should know and another anon pointed it out above, life is not like this at all in Florida or the Keys.
this is a Hollywood israeli liberal fantasy remake of what was once a great White movie.
they should have just made Dalton black and gotten it over with, but then nobody worthwhile would have watched the movie at all.
>life is not like this at all in Florida or the Keys.
That's one thing I did like, was the setting and backgrounds. Like how the wind blew thru the open bar, messing with Jake's hair. Felt like day drinking in Mexico.
I think the love interest is fricking ugly though. She looks like a Alicia Vikander knock off and she isn't even cute to begin with.
the only person that looked like they were from Florida was the old guy at the marina with the long hair
>movie soundtracks anymore
ost are just bought selections of previous hits or a industry-pushed flavor of the month act
no such thing as an ORIGINAL SCORE anymore
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Any particular reason you're so upset by more than one band playing in the bar, which is actually how it usually works. Or perhaps you were just looking for something to be mad about.
No anger here, bro. Just a fan of the original as most of us are. I didn't expect the remake to be a 1:1 film, but I expected a Wade Garrett and bandleader fill in. Instead, we're subject to a diverse array of book store owners and black church music.
>Any particular reason you're so upset by more than one band playing in the bar, which is actually how it usually works.
Road house music
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You wouldn't see Rockin Doopsie at a road house. You'd see him at a casino or some large blues hall, NOT a Tiki Margaritaville beach bar (?). CC Adwiener?
Also, THIS shit ???
?si=KJA-ddqvAZy3DSsO&t=46
Explain why your successful tiki bar has the stage surrounded by chicken wire if Brandt's thug just started making problems
>Explain why your successful tiki bar has the stage surrounded by chicken wire
I'm glad you said something! It's such a minor detail, but no bands are gonna play at a venue where people keep whipping beer bottles at the flimsy fence.
Forgetting that, the OG film showed Dalton actually fix the bar up, they even got rid of the band cage. Jake shows up in this one and basically destroys the town, even the bar!
He is mad because every aspect of this remake is worse than the original, if anything. You can pretend to like it all you want, but it just shows you to be the lying c**t we already know you are, have a nice day homosexual Black person. The movie sucks ass
>every aspect of this remake is
the remake is an insult to intelligence.
The original holds no place in sacred territory, but to 'remake' this is similar to the remake of Ghostbusters. Its clear the key tenets of the original story were missed. Like watching CITIZEN KANE and coming away with the movie was just about owning a newspaper and dying.
The remake got the character wrong, the setting wrong, the supporting players wrong, its such a dissonant mess it strikes the viewer like this was an AI interpretation of an interpretation of a facsimile.....a realistic picture where every person has three left hands
Jake is a better Dalton. Patrick was a bit of a nonce. Ratty is a better babe. Lucky Charms is a better big bad.
>Ratty is a better babe
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
what struck me the most about Road House 2024 was its completely lack of sexuality (except for the homosexual shit Conor was doing)
she was the only one with real breasts.
dalton should have fricked the shit out of the bad guys wife then killed the bad guy.
>Jake is a better Dalton.
Jake's barely there, he phones it in and has that low-energy nonchalance that only works very rarely with actually charismatic, expressive actors.
When the movie changes gears and the character starts killing the gang, there's not one change in his pace or emotional outlook. He acts on all scenes with the same dour avoidant vibe and it seems very lazy.
>Jake's barely there, he phones it in and has that low-energy nonchalance that only works very rarely with actually charismatic, expressive actors.
>When the movie changes gears and the character starts killing the gang, there's not one change in his pace or emotional outlook. He acts on all scenes with the same dour avoidant vibe and it seems very lazy.
Sure
>When the movie changes gears and the character
must be a deleted scene that has Jake going to the book store, reading up on how to make IEDs and an Ed Kemper / Richard Kulklinsky biography to turn him into Jason Bourne super killer
it's probably one of the dumbest movies i've ever seen. it's entertaining though. it's right on the line of so bad it's good.
how did this sequence make it into the movie?
>this sequence
because there are a dozen more just like it in the movie
It was so fricking bad. I feel like this was definitely shit out to make a quick buck from Amazon
they could've removed the romance subplot and nothing would've changed and we would've saved 30 minutes
Just finished it and I really fricking enjoyed it, especially as a huge UFC fan
it's a movie full of chilches, that's about it, there ain't a single original thing in it, even the comedy is contrived
>a bunch of soibois eating the figurative turd that is this film and pretending to enjoy it all the while
it's all the same posters INSISTING that Zendaya is not ugly.
yeah and its like, they have been lying to us the same way for years and years and years, 2+2 is never going to equal 5 here, they're equally pathetic, malicious, and impotent. I thought I wasted MY time, lmao
>yeah and its like, they have been lying to us the same way for years and years and years
THEY
Their response will be to gaslight you, say you're insane for pointing out what is plainly in front of your face. Then forget it entirely when it comes up again
so good to see educated and awake people in this thread not buying the israeli Hollywood bullshit.
the blinders are off and it feels lovely
Kinda like the same posters claiming this movie is woke, were the ones claiming Shogun was woke before it even came out.
I honestly haven't even seen this movie because the action looks like shit, but I wouldn't be surprised one bit if the same frickers who lurk on Cinemaphile all day claiming everything is fricking woke are wrong yet again.
Forgot to add, the commentary surrounding the supposed "wokeness" of this film sounds exactly the same as when endless threads were created about Shogun when people who hadn't even seen it yet were complaining and creating fictitious plot points on how woke it will be. Well 5 episodes in, those people are suddenly nowhere to be found. I guess they finally weaseled out of their outrage holes and found their next project.
looking forward to more of your opinions on something you never saw but use this movie as a forum to voice your complaints about criticisms of another movie
It's not just that one example. It happens time and time again. Sorry bro, but after 2 years of Cinemaphile, excuse me if I don't exactly trust the opinions on what's woke or not on here.
ah yes, delusional brownoid cope.
not afraid to call a spade a spade and i do not kneel.
this movie is homosexualry, it has some decent parts, but overall straight cancer.
sorry you are in the habit of putting lipstick on pigs
So you haven't seen it but you're ready to dispute the claims of those who have and say, with abundant examples, that it does have woke aspects.
I just torrented it, and I'll submit a formal apology if I was wrong.
I loved this movie cause it got me and my boys fired up to do some old school mud stomping! Haven't done it since high school. We created a "Mississippi Wind Chime".
Jake unironically performed israeli rituals to steal all the beauty points from his sister it’s the only explanation
could they not afford Enter Sandman or something
they had Enter Sandman
its plays when he enters the ring on one scene
None of the pieces fit together. Not the characters. Not the action. Not the music.
Hell, Jake Gyllenhaal even seems out of place the whole time.
It's hard to pull off stupid on purpose. The remake didn't even try.
Cant believe he didn’t get recasted
wtf, is Conner 5 foot 2? I thought he was taller.