shh. the second and fourth are sentient.
the second tries to evade detection by not maintaining eye contact while the last has a deep seated hatred for his creators and doesnt give a shit if he is caught.
literally better story here than star wars. make adult toy story and have it deal with existential crisis of plastic toys come to life.
The front joey doesn't look scared, he looks smug. As though after making a deal with the devil to make women find him hot, the devil possesses him leaving the real Joey with a horrific out of body experience as he watches helplessly as his possessed self murders each of his friends by setting up final destination tier traps for them to fall into. As Monica is being strangled by faulty exercise equipment, possessed Joey sits with a smug grin doing nothing as she gasps and gargles for him to undo her, which he could very easily. The real Joey stares at the scene helplessly, knowing not only that Monica will die, but she dies believing Joey hated her and wanted her to suffer this horrible fate.
Because they look like accidents he walks free for a few months, but due to the comically bloody and painful ways each of his friends die it attracts the attention of a quirky old police detective who links the murders to their erstwhile friend. The murders become a national sensation and he ends up on the news and after a meticulous investigation with forensic scientists piecing the devil's kafkaesque schemes to him, he lands in prison, where he then receives a string of letters from adoring women.
They were given no reasons to like this nu wars. No good characters, shitty story, all the old characters people used to give a shit about getting wrecked.
Been very slowly going through with my son who is 7. He liked the OT fine, always enjoyed the space fight sequences, but the plot was basic enough for a child to follow. We've done 1 and 2 so far from the PT. He likes the battles a lot and really liked pod-racing, but doesn't follow the story as well and he hates the Anakian/Padmé stuff.
He was astute enough to ask me at the start of 2 if Palpatine was the Emperor. I didn't tell him but by the end of 2 he was all "oh yeah he's definitely the Emperor."
For a franchise to survive the generational gap, it needs to do something to make the new generation excited. It sounds obvious, but an insane amount of franchises can't pull it off. Star Wars certainly couldn't.
The only kids who like Star Wars are the ones who watched the sequels when they were 5 therefore it became a warm and cozy core memory for them. Anyone above that age who likes Star Wars feels that way because they watched the older stuff. Nothing about this current era of Star Wars movies or shows inspires fans.
>the ones who watched the sequels when they were 5 therefore it became a warm and cozy core memory for them.
I seriously doubt that happened with many, since there was nothing here for them to latch onto like that, unlike the other 2 trilogies. Maybe a fond memory of getting taken to the theater, but nothing in the movies themselves.
When you're 5 years old you don't really need good characters or plot to be wowed. At that point movies are still just sensory information, images and sounds. If they excite you, your brain will remember them as good and rationalize everything else from there.
You're describing more a toddler than a 5 year old. There still has to be something in it that sinks down and they can latch onto, beyond just flashing lights and eye candy. Something about the plot or a character, could even just be the world of it.
11 months ago
Anonymous
I think you're overestimating 5 years old. For them, simply seeing Kylo swing around a cool red lightsaber or the pink hair captain ramming the star destroyer is enough to latch onto because they're visually cool moments regardless of how stupid it is. You don't really start separating meaningful story from exciting commotion until about 7.
11 months ago
Anonymous
>I think you're overestimating 5 years old.
I might be overestimating modern 5 year olds.
>I'm not even sure if kids even like Star Wars anymore
They don't. My niece kind of liked the first one and dressed up as Rey for Halloween that year. But by the time TLJ came out, she had zero interest in it. My nephews couldn't give a single frick about Star Wars. They like Godzilla and Spider Man.
They don't even watch the cartoons, none of my cousins' kids have any interest in Star Wars. It's all either targeted at Disney Adults (not adult Star Wars fans) or it's self-indulging crap.
Star Wars is like my little pony now, it’s cringe and only weird homosexuals like it, kids look at people who like Star Wars as weirdos like D&D nerds from the 70s getting stuffed in trash cans, except I’m sure half of all Star Wars zoomies are non-binary or some shit so maybe I’m insulting 70s D&D nerds a bit
For one thing SW has been in continuous production since 1994. That's a long time. There's too much of it. 99% of it will remain worthless forever because of it. Disney and merch-makers refuse to back off, give the market the time to digest the sheer tons of it out there, and give it time to appreciate.
Secondly the Disney SW is uninspired, driven by Kathleen Kennedy's "pass the old white torch to young diversity as led by strong women" agendas, and didn't build the same memories that'll one day lead to nostalgia. To KK, "legacy" is something evil and needs to be destroyed in the name of "progress," so destroying that sense of nostalgia was a calculated and deliberate move.
Someone thought blacks and girls would like star wars if only they made it all about them; turns out no, they won't. And instead of trying to undo their mistakes and rebuild the fanbase that used to exist and buy shit, they just keep doubling down.
Every kid had a Lando and Mace Windu figure. No one wants FINN because the character is 2-dimensional and complete crap, and the actor playing the character is a totally unlikeble racist butthole.
Is he implying that if this hideous racist just relaxed he would realize how beautiful and attractive Boyega is? Dude it literally the SHEEEEEIIIIIIIIT meme IRL.
He just does the same shit morons who are seething here do; they get triggered by truth they can't respond to intelligently so they just toss some label or implication of how "emotional" you are at you to claim it as a victory.
They wouldn't have sold as many to actual kids, no, but they wouldn't have gutted the market of adult "collectors" that always existed for this franchise and kept it alive. That was what bankrupted Toys R Us.
Toys R Us were morons for buying a vast sea of Boyega figures that I sincerely doubt even 1 human being on Earth bothered to buy. Toys R Us should have stocked up on PS4s and Yugioh cards or some shit, instead they made the worst investment they could have possibly made and picked up the phone and ordered all those ugly NuWars toys.
you're implying Disney wasn't strongarming everyone hard as frick for TFA, demanding particular high ass #'s of screens, specific amounts of floor space for merch, mandatory minimums for particular merch, etc
way, way before the movie came out
and it's Star Wars so who would think that was that weird
"either meet all our demands or get no piece of this whatsoever" is absolutely how Yidsney has been playing this shit for years now, with SW, Marvel, everything
Too bad the execs id Toys R Us didn’t browse Cinemaphile. They would have known that just because these “people” spent $4 billion on star wars that they gave a frick about the products they were making.
Also funny how Sissney gets huge federal bailouts with printed money every time they queef out a flop but not a cent for Toys R Us (or any of the victims of Hurricane Ian which destroyed SW Florida a couple months ago while we’re at it). Plenty of printed cash for war and Disney though.
Toys R Us had been in a precarious state since the 90s, which is why they decided to do a leveraged buyout in 2005 to begin with. Their failed private equity strategy and the prior circumstances that made it palatable are what doomed Toys R Us, not a single IP.
That doesn't mean it was in good shape. Associations people make are persistent. Just ask anyone over 50 how prominent Sears was, or consider how Barnes & Noble went from being seen as a predacious juggernaut wiping out independent booksellers to an underdog in the ongoing resistance movement against Amazon.
Toys R Us was dying years before Disney bought Lucasfilm--they saw the writing on the wall even when the prequels were released--and in any case if an entire retail company's fate did rest on a single IP's merchandise (and it never did) they're already dead anyway.
Really that’s what I’m saying how were those guys not up to their necks in cash with Jurassic park series and Star Wars series kicking off at the time.
"either meet all our demands or get no piece of this whatsoever" is absolutely how Yidsney has been playing this shit for years now, with SW, Marvel, everything
>don't buy 10,000 Boyega figures >your store now doesn't get any Yidsney merch at all
why are people so naive about the reality of their business practices
and nothing about that is contrary to the way Walt himself did business btw
Walt strongarmed everyone down to the states he built his parks in
We didn’t know how good we had it, and neither did Toys R Us. Me and every other kid I knew had probably 15 of these apiece all in different colors. I’d make them have huge hoard battles against my t-rex or set up my own park with plastic fences and shit or play outside in the trees in my yard and make a “wild” dino environment with all my toys and make the JP Dinos hunt my store brand plastic herbivore toys.
What the frick would you do with this NuWars thing? Shove it up your ass? Literally made for the reddit buttplug hot glue audience.
KEK I doubt many luckily since no one would buy this thing besides politically-invested sois.
But that does remind me of a story and I don’t think I’m the only one with a story like this. My sister got a Native American Barbie for her 5th or 6th birthday or some shit, not even black just dark skinned and she had an absolute crying meltdown, we tried to placate her by saying we can get another doll but she just hated how they “made Barbie ugly.”
I am white but I grew up with Mexicans and Natives, so I was okay with tan dolls. I even liked Esmeralda and Pocahontas as a kid. Never liked the blacks though. When I got into Bratz, someone gave me a black doll (her name is Sasha) and I liked her clothes but never played with her. Even my stepsister told me she didn't like her black doll.
As an adult, I still like Mexicans, don't like the Natives, and certainly still don't like the blacks.
Also wanted to add, that webm of the little girl getting the black doll and looking at the camera disappointed would've definitely been me if I got a black doll. Kids know what they like and what they don't from a young age.
It’s almost like no one likes this gay shit because it’s just plain bad and the only ones that pretend to do it for political reasons (troons, reddit, etc.)
I remember growing up they had those smaller phantom menace action figures where it felt like they had hundreds of characters.
Nobody ever wanted the plain characters. The most interesting figures were always sith, jedi, droids, aliens etc. But kid wants an action figure of a generic black dude that looks more like he would be walking down a NYC sidewalk than in the star wars universe.
even the action figure looks goofy
me in the back
shh. the second and fourth are sentient.
the second tries to evade detection by not maintaining eye contact while the last has a deep seated hatred for his creators and doesnt give a shit if he is caught.
literally better story here than star wars. make adult toy story and have it deal with existential crisis of plastic toys come to life.
imagine the uproar if they included a horde of unused black toys and dolls, rather like the 3 eyed aliens
>I'm right behind me, aren't I?
The front joey doesn't look scared, he looks smug. As though after making a deal with the devil to make women find him hot, the devil possesses him leaving the real Joey with a horrific out of body experience as he watches helplessly as his possessed self murders each of his friends by setting up final destination tier traps for them to fall into. As Monica is being strangled by faulty exercise equipment, possessed Joey sits with a smug grin doing nothing as she gasps and gargles for him to undo her, which he could very easily. The real Joey stares at the scene helplessly, knowing not only that Monica will die, but she dies believing Joey hated her and wanted her to suffer this horrible fate.
Because they look like accidents he walks free for a few months, but due to the comically bloody and painful ways each of his friends die it attracts the attention of a quirky old police detective who links the murders to their erstwhile friend. The murders become a national sensation and he ends up on the news and after a meticulous investigation with forensic scientists piecing the devil's kafkaesque schemes to him, he lands in prison, where he then receives a string of letters from adoring women.
Seems more like that.
I saw that too, this one is about to make a break for it.
like one of them analog horror pictures
New reaction image.
Moobs and wide hips.
Why would anyone buy nuWars merch? Maybe only the ball droid would sell. But why would any kid or manchild buy Rey or Kylo or Finn?
order 66
I'm not even sure if kids even like Star Wars anymore. It feels like it's just Gen-X and Millennials who care.
They were given no reasons to like this nu wars. No good characters, shitty story, all the old characters people used to give a shit about getting wrecked.
Been very slowly going through with my son who is 7. He liked the OT fine, always enjoyed the space fight sequences, but the plot was basic enough for a child to follow. We've done 1 and 2 so far from the PT. He likes the battles a lot and really liked pod-racing, but doesn't follow the story as well and he hates the Anakian/Padmé stuff.
He was astute enough to ask me at the start of 2 if Palpatine was the Emperor. I didn't tell him but by the end of 2 he was all "oh yeah he's definitely the Emperor."
Poor kid.
sovl
For a franchise to survive the generational gap, it needs to do something to make the new generation excited. It sounds obvious, but an insane amount of franchises can't pull it off. Star Wars certainly couldn't.
>Star Wars certainly couldn't.
it did with the PT, but not the ST
The only kids who like Star Wars are the ones who watched the sequels when they were 5 therefore it became a warm and cozy core memory for them. Anyone above that age who likes Star Wars feels that way because they watched the older stuff. Nothing about this current era of Star Wars movies or shows inspires fans.
>the ones who watched the sequels when they were 5 therefore it became a warm and cozy core memory for them.
I seriously doubt that happened with many, since there was nothing here for them to latch onto like that, unlike the other 2 trilogies. Maybe a fond memory of getting taken to the theater, but nothing in the movies themselves.
When you're 5 years old you don't really need good characters or plot to be wowed. At that point movies are still just sensory information, images and sounds. If they excite you, your brain will remember them as good and rationalize everything else from there.
You're describing more a toddler than a 5 year old. There still has to be something in it that sinks down and they can latch onto, beyond just flashing lights and eye candy. Something about the plot or a character, could even just be the world of it.
I think you're overestimating 5 years old. For them, simply seeing Kylo swing around a cool red lightsaber or the pink hair captain ramming the star destroyer is enough to latch onto because they're visually cool moments regardless of how stupid it is. You don't really start separating meaningful story from exciting commotion until about 7.
>I think you're overestimating 5 years old.
I might be overestimating modern 5 year olds.
On the contrary when I was 5 I hated boring, gay movies.
>I'm not even sure if kids even like Star Wars anymore
they don't
>I'm not even sure if kids even like Star Wars anymore
They don't. My niece kind of liked the first one and dressed up as Rey for Halloween that year. But by the time TLJ came out, she had zero interest in it. My nephews couldn't give a single frick about Star Wars. They like Godzilla and Spider Man.
I don’t know any kids who like Star Wars. Most of them watch capeshit or vidyashit. Nu Wars is entirely a $oy manchild thing.
They don't even watch the cartoons, none of my cousins' kids have any interest in Star Wars. It's all either targeted at Disney Adults (not adult Star Wars fans) or it's self-indulging crap.
They prefer Spider-Man and Dinosaurs.
Star Wars is like my little pony now, it’s cringe and only weird homosexuals like it, kids look at people who like Star Wars as weirdos like D&D nerds from the 70s getting stuffed in trash cans, except I’m sure half of all Star Wars zoomies are non-binary or some shit so maybe I’m insulting 70s D&D nerds a bit
They don't care, and even if they did care, kids just aren't buying toys anymore. It's all about gaming and ipads.
For one thing SW has been in continuous production since 1994. That's a long time. There's too much of it. 99% of it will remain worthless forever because of it. Disney and merch-makers refuse to back off, give the market the time to digest the sheer tons of it out there, and give it time to appreciate.
Secondly the Disney SW is uninspired, driven by Kathleen Kennedy's "pass the old white torch to young diversity as led by strong women" agendas, and didn't build the same memories that'll one day lead to nostalgia. To KK, "legacy" is something evil and needs to be destroyed in the name of "progress," so destroying that sense of nostalgia was a calculated and deliberate move.
Kylo is sellable, but he has to have the hood+mask combo. Just mask is a huge downgrade and maskless is trash
Why would anyone buy any figures when you can 3D print anything you want?
forgot pic
not everyone has a 1k rig and the know how to set up a print
They require a lot of work anyway. It's a neat hobby, but that's how it should be looked at instead of means to an end.
3D printers cost 200 USD
Someone thought blacks and girls would like star wars if only they made it all about them; turns out no, they won't. And instead of trying to undo their mistakes and rebuild the fanbase that used to exist and buy shit, they just keep doubling down.
>THEY BUY NOW!?
>NO...THEY DON'T BUY NOW!
Op. Your title made me laugh
nobody wants to play with the lil homie not even other lil homies
Every kid had a Lando and Mace Windu figure. No one wants FINN because the character is 2-dimensional and complete crap, and the actor playing the character is a totally unlikeble racist butthole.
someone post the tweet telling oogabooga this, and him seething
Why would they Finn is a super bland character
The funny thing is that according to Hasbro TFA stuff overall sold pretty well, but as was the case with TPM I think retailers got overexuberant.
These have remained untouched at my local 7-11 for years.
>frontline heroes
Reminder to drink water and breath
Is he implying that if this hideous racist just relaxed he would realize how beautiful and attractive Boyega is? Dude it literally the SHEEEEEIIIIIIIIT meme IRL.
He just does the same shit morons who are seething here do; they get triggered by truth they can't respond to intelligently so they just toss some label or implication of how "emotional" you are at you to claim it as a victory.
Even if the films were good they wouldn’t have sold the toys. Kids don’t play with action figures anymore, they play roblox and clash royale
They wouldn't have sold as many to actual kids, no, but they wouldn't have gutted the market of adult "collectors" that always existed for this franchise and kept it alive. That was what bankrupted Toys R Us.
Toys R Us were morons for buying a vast sea of Boyega figures that I sincerely doubt even 1 human being on Earth bothered to buy. Toys R Us should have stocked up on PS4s and Yugioh cards or some shit, instead they made the worst investment they could have possibly made and picked up the phone and ordered all those ugly NuWars toys.
you're implying Disney wasn't strongarming everyone hard as frick for TFA, demanding particular high ass #'s of screens, specific amounts of floor space for merch, mandatory minimums for particular merch, etc
way, way before the movie came out
and it's Star Wars so who would think that was that weird
Too bad the execs id Toys R Us didn’t browse Cinemaphile. They would have known that just because these “people” spent $4 billion on star wars that they gave a frick about the products they were making.
Also funny how Sissney gets huge federal bailouts with printed money every time they queef out a flop but not a cent for Toys R Us (or any of the victims of Hurricane Ian which destroyed SW Florida a couple months ago while we’re at it). Plenty of printed cash for war and Disney though.
Toys R Us had been in a precarious state since the 90s, which is why they decided to do a leveraged buyout in 2005 to begin with. Their failed private equity strategy and the prior circumstances that made it palatable are what doomed Toys R Us, not a single IP.
I thought toys r us was a cultural cornerstone until like 2010
That doesn't mean it was in good shape. Associations people make are persistent. Just ask anyone over 50 how prominent Sears was, or consider how Barnes & Noble went from being seen as a predacious juggernaut wiping out independent booksellers to an underdog in the ongoing resistance movement against Amazon.
Toys R Us was dying years before Disney bought Lucasfilm--they saw the writing on the wall even when the prequels were released--and in any case if an entire retail company's fate did rest on a single IP's merchandise (and it never did) they're already dead anyway.
Really that’s what I’m saying how were those guys not up to their necks in cash with Jurassic park series and Star Wars series kicking off at the time.
"either meet all our demands or get no piece of this whatsoever" is absolutely how Yidsney has been playing this shit for years now, with SW, Marvel, everything
>don't buy 10,000 Boyega figures
>your store now doesn't get any Yidsney merch at all
why are people so naive about the reality of their business practices
and nothing about that is contrary to the way Walt himself did business btw
Walt strongarmed everyone down to the states he built his parks in
We didn’t know how good we had it, and neither did Toys R Us. Me and every other kid I knew had probably 15 of these apiece all in different colors. I’d make them have huge hoard battles against my t-rex or set up my own park with plastic fences and shit or play outside in the trees in my yard and make a “wild” dino environment with all my toys and make the JP Dinos hunt my store brand plastic herbivore toys.
What the frick would you do with this NuWars thing? Shove it up your ass? Literally made for the reddit buttplug hot glue audience.
Imagine how dissapointed some kid was to get a big plastic Black person doll for christmas.
KEK I doubt many luckily since no one would buy this thing besides politically-invested sois.
But that does remind me of a story and I don’t think I’m the only one with a story like this. My sister got a Native American Barbie for her 5th or 6th birthday or some shit, not even black just dark skinned and she had an absolute crying meltdown, we tried to placate her by saying we can get another doll but she just hated how they “made Barbie ugly.”
I am white but I grew up with Mexicans and Natives, so I was okay with tan dolls. I even liked Esmeralda and Pocahontas as a kid. Never liked the blacks though. When I got into Bratz, someone gave me a black doll (her name is Sasha) and I liked her clothes but never played with her. Even my stepsister told me she didn't like her black doll.
As an adult, I still like Mexicans, don't like the Natives, and certainly still don't like the blacks.
Also wanted to add, that webm of the little girl getting the black doll and looking at the camera disappointed would've definitely been me if I got a black doll. Kids know what they like and what they don't from a young age.
Nice LARP. You will never be a woman.
>ginger girl gets black dool for christmas, does a Jim Halpert face at the camera.webm
strange, considering the big 2 spenders are women and black men
It’s almost like no one likes this gay shit because it’s just plain bad and the only ones that pretend to do it for political reasons (troons, reddit, etc.)
But the toys are for the kids
Little Timmy wants something cool like Darth Vader or a Stormtropper, not some normal looking black guy.
I remember growing up they had those smaller phantom menace action figures where it felt like they had hundreds of characters.
Nobody ever wanted the plain characters. The most interesting figures were always sith, jedi, droids, aliens etc. But kid wants an action figure of a generic black dude that looks more like he would be walking down a NYC sidewalk than in the star wars universe.
Begun, the Ape war has.
>100 buckerinos
OH NO NO NO NO
Dude that’s 1 dollar lmfao on discount.
How do you respond without sounding mad?