*blasts loud bongo music from your television when you’re supposed to be asleep*
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
 UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
*blasts loud bongo music from your television when youre supposed to be asleep*
They were steel drums you gay
>bongo music
hawaiian noises
Bangin’ on them bongos like a chimpanzee
That ain't working, that's the way you do it.
Get your, money for nothin and your checks for free
>makes you fap when you're supposed to be going to bed
i miss them lol
Pretty sure at least some of them are on the archive
What archive
sneedplebsarchive.chuck.org/moe
Internet
I'd watch a doc where they find these bawds and show what they're up to now.
I think /b/ had a few threads where they doxxed some but they're probably scrubbed from the archives.
VEF for sure still has the where are they now boards for Playboy College Girls and Girls Gone Wild. Those boomers have created a digital Great Library of Alexandria for coomers.
Watched one recently. They are terrible. Would rather watch the man show
yeah they suck but as a kid they were the holy grail
the thing is they advertised almost exclusively using the candid flashing clips which were only a tiny fraction of the content on the actual videos
the real content was them dragging a drunk girl to their RV and trying to get her to get naked and play with herself, shit was always awkward as frick because the girls were super uncomfortable and never really went through with it before leaving
GGW tapes sucked
lmao
double lmao
they planted the seed that sprouted into only fans
Yeah the only full one I watched was some shitty gameshow style. Glad my horny ass never figured out a way to buy them
They couldn't even get drunk girls to show their breasts most of the time. Most of the ones in the videos were local strippers and prostitutes who traveled with them on the tour bus
>all this time it was barebones content
Im not mad just disappointed.
there was a whole gooner Saturday night playlist you could follow if you had cable in the mid 00s
>turn on E! around 9pm, they'd be playing Howard Stern and there was a chance it would be a lewd episode
>switch to Comedy Central where the man show as on
>switch back to E! where Wild! ON was starting and there was a better than average chance it would be a lewd episode
>by 2 am switch back to Comedy Central and the 30 minute Girls Gone Wild infomercial would be playing
good times
Holy frick this took me back
Anyone else remember Naked News? Crazy that stuff like that was on television.
Naked News was always exclusively online, except for some PPVs in the early 00s
the REAL holy grail are the PPVs that the reality show Blind Date did that were co-produced by the GirlsGoneWIld company
had actual quality nudity and kept the onscreen graphics that made fun of the participants like the regular show had
there are 3, the spring break one is the "worst" but it's also the easiest to find
makes me nostalgic for being a teenager in the mid-00s thinking life and homeownership would be attainable
https://spankbang.com/49xaz/video/blind+date+uncensored+spring+break
My dad had a black box so I would watch naked news sometimes when I was like 10
there was like a 1-in-5 chance the infomercial would be the gay-focused GuysGoneWild version of the infomercial which was a terrible fricking way to end that playlist
literally head canon
WHAT A FRICKING GOON. HOLY SHIT.
Unfathomably based btw.
Who was honestly so horny that they """gooned""" to the man show?
Soul
The world we lived in. There’s a good chance half of you freaks got Cheeto’s debris on your junks by 3AM.
Fricking hell I would follow this shit to a T. I would also swap back & forth to Adult Swim to see if there was any lewd cartoons playing & if I struck out on everything you listed I’d always have Kim Possible playing for 3 hours straight on Disney
I'm a broadcast tvgay. Didn't have cable but I had a similar Saturday routine.
>Howard Stern Show
>Cindy Margolis Show. it was like a Miami beach dance part with bawds in loose clothing
>Girls Gone Wild and phone sex commercial
I remember watching the Cindy Margolis Show since sometimes the chicks would take off their tops and then they'd have to censor it. Also Caliente, which was similar, but on the Spanish channel. It was like a beach party, but they'd also have side features on featured bikini babes for each episode.
I remember watching entire GGW infomercials, Weare18 commercials, and some weird VHS clip collection of nude or sex scenes that featured movie celebs.
Wild On!
USA UP all night
Ah these take me back
The only habitual fap I had back then, was waiting for Thursday nights, and watching HBO. Cathouse or Real Sex would be on.
Other nights I would watch some HBO show about a mormom family or something, that had a bunch of lesbian scenes
Was the Mormon show Big Love?
Yeah that was it.
Based Gen Xer. I remember Cinemax too.
>I remember Cinemax
aka Skinemax
>switch to VH1 with pants off dance off
>switch to E! for girls next door
>switch go G4 for cinematech nocturnal emission
Pants off dance off was awesome. A lot of the participants were pretty good looking. And it'd usually be a sexier pop music video. I remember it being on Fuse. I'm sorry but I can spank it to sexy dancing and stripping but infomercials where it shows 5 seconds of breasts with "buy now" over them does nothing for me.
Are you me?
And people actually had sex back then.
>parents got cinemax/showtime for free for like half a year when I was 13
>all those shitty softcore movies I'd sit through for the girl-girl scenes
That was the start of it all.
Anybody else remember Wednesday 2 or 3 am on BET??
>not tuning to Locomotion and gooning to Agent Aika
gay.
SOUL
Although the Wild! ON episode better be Jules Asner or it was worthless
>Jules Asner
now there's a name i haven't heard in a long time
a long time
Brooke was the hotter host
we've gone from booba tapes being shilled on TV to zoomies who don't like sex on TV
boobs on TV was great because online video porn was barely a thing and breasts were hard to see, the censored nudity was somehow 10x more titillating than the explicit hardcore shit you can see with one click now
I legit don't blame zoomers for wanting a break from sex considering it's literally everywhere now compared to 20 years ago
see above
>boobs on TV was great because online video porn was barely a thing and breasts were hard to see
Are you sure about that anon? I distinctly remember finding all kinds of good shit circa 2000 to 2004, exactly 20+ years ago now. It would be short 30 second clips or less but they were great, usually mpg or if you were unlucky realmedia files, sometimes shockwave/flash player based. And pics were pretty high quality. Anna Nicole Smith was pretty popular, and photoshops of Anna Kournikova later on, and Jenna Jameson. You could also find weird creepy gross Russian porn easily too, and thinking back on it I bet their taboo sites were the real deal, not the modern "step-mom gets stuck in washing machine" bullshit. Limewire didn't quite exist far enough back but you had Kazaa or whatever which I didn't use but I'm sure you could easily find all kinds of gold there. I think soulseek started around 2004.
Basically you had to be under the age of 12 to think censored TV shit was better. GGW commercials were decent because they required a little imagination but... why not just use the material you had at school if you're gonna use your noggin? There were way hotter girls IRL than I've ever seen in professional porn or GGW.
>oversexed but underfricked
>Boobs on TV shows 😐
>Boobs on onlyfans you pay 100 dollars a month for 😀
She said my name and thanked me, you'll never understand old man.
gay
Can your prostitute do cameo shit? Can you onlyfans sneed?
I got caught jerking it to GGW commercials, Stern, and Wild On! on E! so much as a kid my mom cancelled cable.
Lol even as a kid I didn't get it. Yeah breasts I guess but it's not sexy at all. Music videos were better than that.
Oh yeah what about the knock-offs. One was called Wild Party Girls or something.
As far as late night spank goes there was a 'male enhancement' one where these girls would talk about size and stuff and it was honestly close to a humiliation video lol. I forget which drug.
it was awesome if you knew one of the chicks or they reminded you of someone you knew. i can watch normie girls acting loose non stop
>Wild Party Girls
I’ve looked for the commercials countless times because I’m sure I saw my hot older cousin in one of those videos. She had giant boobs and a petit frame, she was in college at the time, so I think it could’ve ben her.
here are my fond 90's fap memories:
>scrambled porn on cable. every 10 minutes or so you'd get a clear shot then nut. it was always women servicing men
>finding a VHS of showgirls at my grandpa's house and watching it when he was out running errands
Takes me back, I have so many but one that stands out:
>dad buys a huge satellite dish
>build it together, poured concrete to set the pole in, attached the motor, assembled the panels
>it works and now we get like 200 channels from all over the world, amazing
>find the porn channels one day
>can catch a glimpse when you initially change it to the right channel before the image scrambles
>realize that if you rapidly change the channel back and forth you can basically watch it
>never seen porn before, in fact the only thing even close was a post card of a naked woman my dads friend sent him from Hawaii that I’d commandeered and had been jacking to for months
>mesmerized by all the huge breasts, muffs, dicks and bizarre positions
>fake sick the next day and marathon jerk while home alone until I have nothing left to give
>a few days later I’m outside playing by the dish
>it rotates every time you change the station, if you flip between different banks of channels it rotates a lot, if flipping between individual channels it moves just slightly
>notice the dish is making rapid micro adjustments back and forth back and forth
>dad’s inside and just discovered the porn trick
>that girl in the maroon bikini shows up for 2 seconds
>try to coom before the scene changes
Yo, anybody got the /gif/ compilation of pornstars going insane with steeldrums in the backdrop?
Friday night was for Rhonda Shear's Up All Night
>USA Network
>titty comedies minus the breasts
>still fap
We did what we had to.
>doesnt know the difference between bongos and steel drums
I can't find the coke and mentos video where the frick am I supposed to look
Who owns the porn industry?
The funeral home cartel.
What's that? Hawaiian noises? Banging on the drums like a chimpanzee
There was one GGW episode where this chick has lesbian sex with her hispanic friend(they were both probably escorts, but whatever), and the hispanic friend has one of the most banging bodies I've ever seen. I haven't been able to find it for years though.
Pornography is a israeli weapon
>cusping puberty
>family gets cable boxes in each room with hbo/cinemax
>channel 1xx happens to air some action movies but goes softcore porn at midnight or something
>always fall asleep with remote on "last channel" button ready to press for animal planet
>accidentally asleep myself one night after some lesbian trash
>mom wakes me frantically demanding what was going on why i'm on that channel
>american ninja III aired around 11pm
thanks american ninja III. thanks shitty cable boxes that let you go back a few hours to see what you missed in the on-screen guide
inb4 hannah hilton webm
>Late at night
>Show called REAL SEX
>Oh boy, time to pull my dick out
>It's just a show about women calling in about their bullshit sex life problems
The HBO Real Sex? That one had actual hot scenes.
Yes it did but you could get unlucky and get the episode featuring 70+ year old men skiing naked while their shriveled dicks flipped around. It was like seeing war footage. That show was a dice roll.
>not blowing loads to her every chance you got
shame
This was my go-to before my mom got us the illegal cable box in our rooms. Then I went full coomer tier. The first month of having free access to every porn channel was mind blowing.
I downloaded this for posterity but have barely seen any of it
i had the DVD and i actually had to go back and rewatch it after the lawsuit because it was so shit snd the girl wasnt even hot
there was only like 1 or 2 hot girls, most were developed hags
you can find hotter girls on tiktok
I have a distinct memory of this coming on while my family was all watching tv together. I guess my parents thought it was a brief commercial so they let it play, but it dragged on and on until finally they changed the channel. It was an awkward few minutes for sure.
classic. the full vid with her ripping ass while wiping up the coke off the floor is hilarious.
What the frick possesses a woman to agree to this shit
Same thing that I wonder when I see a video of a woman drinking 100 dudes’ cumshot from a tall glass, or eating a banana out of another girls ass
How the frick can they bring themselves to do that shit in front of a camera
Probably the same thing that makes her pull a shit-covered plug from her anus and slurp it up like a soft-serve ice cream.
And I'm not talking about little flakes she might not have noticed. I'm talking a big creamy turdlet.
lack of healthy male affection growing up
One former porn star said in an interview that she was always "heavily medicated" before doing especially gross or intense scenes. I've always assumed that's the standard operating procedure.
I dunno man. Mentos and Coke up the pooper sounds like a good time to me. I'd probably have a big laugh over it.
believe it or not women are just as fricked up as men and the only thing keeping in them in line was domestic violence and a healthy dose of bawd shaming.
from what I've seen they are actually into even more fricked up shit than most men
Not really, they live longer on average for a reason.
did any anons ever watch the naked news
it's so much better than I could've hoped for, thank you
Too young or too poor to have a computer/modem in your bedroom in the late 90s?
Half these b***hes are grandmothers now .
GGW is the biggest millennial psyop ever when you compare how ubiquitous its existence is in their lexicon to how godawful it actually is bordering on straight up disturbing to watch and not sexy at all. Imagine actually being some rube that bought a volume expecting good stuff and what you got was some weirdo israelite and his camera man awkwardly trying to get some mildly drunk b***h to take her shirt off in a shitty RV.
almost nobody bought that shit, just a bunch of young dudes wanking to the wild on b***h in bikinis, stern maybe, if you're unlucky, you could end up on food network when it was just getting going when giada first got there, or holding onto your load looking for anything on tv to make a decent finish.
some weird long nights. the fact that so many guys had the same routine is hilarious though, laziness is king.
I can only imagine how many Jerry Maguire tapes were ruined in that era.
gay
Samegay
I have the HD webm of like the only hot girl that was ever on GGW taking her top off, everyone ITT knows the one she looks like what I always imagined a 3DPD Tifa would look like. But jannies ban me instantly when I post it. I always wonder if she was one of those "plant" girls GGW had since she was unusually attractive compared to the regular small town bawds they actually got for their weirdo voyeur scenes.
Those bawds are all dead now.
RIP girls who went wild