>But why must I be the one to bear the burden, Gandalf? For I am but a little hobbit with not a single violent bone in my little body?
>Well, Frodo, Hobbits are the most moronic of the races, lacking any ambition or cunning, meaning the ring is much less of a burden. However, at the final hurdle you will still lack the will to destroy the ring, so I will have to break your mind and leave you mentally disabled.
>I don’t quite understand what you mean Gandalf—
>I know, Frodo, I know.
I’m so depressed
Don’t see the relevance
Gandalf you are a fricking wizard just use "teleport without error" and i will drop it into the lava
no you cant just kill the dark lord you have to defeat him with muh principles because my author is a moronic cuckservatard christcuck
Ok let's check logic given that you wanted to use that
Sauron is just their general they have an entire army, you need to handle the army the morals the myths the reservoir troops etc, then destroying the ring means what it should
>author is a moronic cuckservatard christcuck
And he is and will be one of the most influential authors of this era. Seethe Black person
...because he stole european lore to make a cool fantasy setting, not because of the dumbfrick mythology no one cares about and even the man himself didn't even publish, only his greedy son trying to make some cash
>he stole european lore
Oh no he wrote about elves and wasn't an Odin wiener worshipper like the based nords
Kys, your folklore WILL be used to spread Christianity
What an angry troon. Forget to take your mood stabilizers with your hormones today?
I'M FRICKING RIDDLED WITH DEMENTIA YOU LITTLE SHIT
I COULDN'T TELEPORT MY STAFF DOWN THE GODDAMN STREET
YOU WANT TO END UP BURIED 5 MILES UNDER MORIA?
Did somebody say moria?
>protection from elements 10 radius
Ah yes, Moria! My couisn Balin, from whom nobody has heard in the 25 years since he left to face the ancient demon that lives in Moria and wiped out its previous inhabitants, will give us a royal welcome!
By the way now might be a good time to mention that I don't know where the door is and I don't know the password for the door
You know who enjoys coronations? Why my cousin Balin from Moria! We should send him an invite.
Oh yeah? Why didn't they make the eagles fly the ring into mordor then?
The eagles are as powerful as Gandalf, if they have the ring, it will affect them and they will use it to do Sauron's bidding. No demi-god like figure is allowed to be near the ring.
Solves nothing they eagles get shot down afterwards or during and the whole army rampages on revenge
>invisibility on eagles
>improved haste
They may notice sauron blowing up anon
>time stop
>teleport without error
>drop ring in lava
>walk outside cave
>cast projected image of giant laughing gandalf in front of eye
>teleport back to hobbiton
Underrated
Dimension door has limited range.
Transmutation (Teleportation)
Level: Sorcerer 7, Wizard 7, Travel 7,
Components: V,
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Personal and touch
Target: You and touched objects or other touched willing creatures weighing up to 50 lb./level
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None and Will negates (object)
Spell Resistance: No and Yes (object)
As teleport, except there is no chance you arrive off target. You must have at least a reliable description of the place to which you are teleporting. If you attempt to teleport with insufficient information (or with misleading information), you disappear and simply reappear in your original location.
>nu-dnd rulesets
troony
Thats 2nd edition dumb frick
Never seen that spell in my life.
Thanks for the info, tard.
Rohan and Gondor would be going to war over border disputes or colonialism within a few decades.
They have a cave toll
*They have a crust troll
Do NOT summon those homosexuals
I read one of chris tolkien's lore compilations in middle school and got so bored I just pretended to read and made shit up for the assignment. This was after reading and enjoying the hobbit and the trilogy.
>my final request is that you kill all of Sauron's army and destroy the One Ring in Mount Doom
>and then I will finally release you
Okay now someone tell me for real why Sauron didn't leave guards at Mount Doom. And don't give me that bullshit about not wanting to waste people guarding it. He had a billion fricking orcs, trolls, and god knows what else. None of this "he didn't think anyone would want to destroy it :^)" either. Then he shouldn't be smart enough to breath let alone almost conquer Middle Earth.
Hubris
all he had to do was make an iron door
A Man would never want to destroy it, he just didn't even consider that a Hobbit would make it that far.
no one wanted to be the janny of mount doom and work for FREE, imagine working for free lmao
>Tell me why without telling me the actual reason
In books Sauron doesn't even consider it a possibility that they would try to destroy the ring in secret. He thinks that Aragorn carries it.
Imagine the if the Japanese knew about nukes and instead of focusing on defending themselves from them they had to worry about the Americans destroying them. Sounds mighty moronic right?
Sauron cannot conceive of anyone willingly destroying the Ring because it is impossible to willingly destroy it. Frodo got as close as anyone in the setting could have gotten to destroying it and even he couldn't do it.
why the FRICK didn't they take this route?
>well outside of Sauronman's range
>totally chill forest and river
>travese sea of rhun overnight
>Sauron caught totally unawares while he continues his assault on Gondor
Probably would’ve taken too long
Ok, but why didn't they take THIS path?
Minas Morgul is controlled by Sauron
They go around it in that map you moron
Yeah just walk in front of it and go through Osgiliath which totally isn’t where Sauron launched his entire invasion
>Simply walking into Mordor
That's just crazy enough to work
That almost is the path taken by Frodo and Sam. They go through Minas Morgul because Gollum convinces them it's a good idea since the alternative at that point is just literally walking through the front door with the massive army massing around it.
that's the joke i was trying to make. i like your map.
rhun was always the home of brownoid scum (morgoth and sauron worshipers), traveling through the region is guaranteed to get you killed and the ring captured, the same goes for eastern mordor
Easterling Black folk are all Sauron supporters.
once you cross the sea of rhun you're in easterling territory, just as bad as going through mordor
Is the high pass where they crossed in the hobbit? I can't remember any reason they couldn't have gone through there in LOTR. It couldn't have been worse than caradhras or moria
They originally try to through gap of Rohan, Caradhras was plan b and Moria plan C.
Yeah but why couldn't they use the high pass
>During the War of the Ring, the Fellowship of the Ring bypassed the High Pass because the eastern side of the Misty Mountains had become too dangerous due to a winter snow storm. It was also the most obvious route they could have taken from Rivendell.
I want to live on the island of Himling being completely unaware of what was happening on the mainland and not giving a frick either.
I don’t get people like you, who just want to live in some isolated place and not make something of yourself
>NOOO YOU CAN'T JUST LIVE A HAPPY CONTENTED LIFE OF GROWING CROPS AND FRICKING YOUR WIFE EVERY DAY! YOU HAVE TO BE "SUCCESSFUL" AND GET A CORPORATE JOB SO YOU CAN MAKE MONEY FOR OUR SHAREHOLDERS AND FEED THE ECONOMY
You've been brainwashed. Industrial society was a scam.
You’re just totally fine to live in the middle of nowhere, completely forgotten by history, nothing to leave behind except children and a shitty house?
like you would ever be a great person remembered by history homosexual
anon "einstein" ymous-wienersucker
The point is that you try do something, c**t, and not just give it before even starting
Yeah
>except children
Why do you think having children that love you is not enough?
(You) will be forgotten by history AND you won't even have a family to live or remember you
Because am brown an ethnic, I know anon my tribe is labeled as extinct
so if sauron took over middle earth all the godlike angel beings would just have left him to it? because da humans didnt deserve their help cuz dey didnt have da principles?
No, I think a similar think happened in the first age and the Gods intervened
Why didn't Sauron just make another ring?
you're a good man Frodo... my god I'm sorry it had to be you to find this cursed ring.
He doesn’t seem very bothered by sacrificing Frodo
The fate of middle earth lays in risk.
Seems like grooming
You must have a heart of stone.
>Hey Gandalf I'm so happy you're ba-
>LISTEN! Your uncle was mixed up in some shady shit, this ring here has the power to destroy the world as we know it, so keep it safe OK??? There's an unspeakable evil looking for it right now. I have to go now. See you in 17 years.
>B-but...
>DON'T FRICK UP! *Slams the door shut*
>"A wizard is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to."
>cut to Prancing Pony
>"Excuse me, is Gandalf the Grey here? Let him know we've arrived."
>"What? I haven't seen him in over six months."
>cut to Frodo getting stabbed and becoming a wraith
>Frodo wakes up in Rivendel with Gandalf smiling over him
>"Gandalf what the frick?!"
>"Uh... I was delayed."
why didn't Sauronman ever use his 'speak to mountains' spell again?
Why didn't Rohan dropship some Dark Templars in Mordor and kill one their Hives?
>Why didn't Gondolf cast Shadow Wraith Lvl 30 and combined it with Holy Fireballs +20 to destroy the Trolls in the cave
This is (You) btw. This is what you sound and look like