>character wakes up at 7 a.m. for work
>has enough time to exercise, shower, shave, cook breakfast and get dressed
>character wakes up at 7 a.m.
>character wakes up at 7 a.m. for work
>has enough time to exercise, shower, shave, cook breakfast and get dressed
>>has enough time to exercise, shower, shave, cook breakfast and get dressed
>this is somehow impressive to autists and NEETs on Cinemaphile
Gottem
how long do you exercise in the morning
It's pretty impressive if you got 30 minutes to commute and keep it up consistently.
I guess first thing you would do is set breakfast cooking on background so it takes about 3 or so minutes.
Then you would do 5 minute exercise and shower while brushing teeth followed by a shave in 10 minutes.
You eat your breakfast while drying up in 10 minutes and spend remaining minutes getting dressed up.
Zero free time before work sounds like a pain though.
i have to have zero free time before work or else i wallow, after work i get to maximize my time until i push it late at night
Well, yeah it is. Why do you imply it isn't?
>7 a.m.
waking up in the morning,
Gotta be fresh
End of Days....at the end of the world...even in Alcoholic mode - breakfast is the most important meal of day
>character wakes up
>10 minute shower
>5 minutes drying off
>5 minutes to shave
>10 minutes getting dressed
>10 minutes to fry some eggs
>10 minutes eating
That's 10 minutes spare before you get to 8am. Then a commute less than an hour would have him/her in the office by 9am.
The place where I'd frick up (and maybe you would too) is that I need to spend an hour waking up after I wake up (normally on social media).
>The place where I'd frick up (and maybe you would too) is that I need to spend an hour waking up after I wake up (normally on social media).
cringe
kek
>being connected to the outside world is le cringe
Grow the frick up
No. I was being generous with time. If you want to rush all that shit quickly then you do you.
>browsing twitter
>being connected to the outside world
Fricking golem, go back.
>implying
I don't use twitter, that's just weird
You wake up and reach straight for some golem programming site like a good little normalgay b***h, whatever the frick you're browsing you're subhuman and you have to go back.
>If you want to rush all that shit quickly then you do you.
>taking 3 minutes to get dressed is considered "rushing"
You're genuinely moronic. Kys my man.
>taking 3 minutes to get dressed is considered "rushing"
Not everyone has their clothes sitting in a pile on the floor
>autist doesn't organize his closet/dresser
>thinks you need to pick random clothes from a pile on the floor in order to get dressed quickly
Every post (You) make, you're just digging that hole deeper for yourself.
>picking out then ironing your shirt, pants, jacket, and tie
>in under 3 minutes
>ironing before work
>not doing it all at once on the weekend
Again, moronkun, you're not helping your case.
>he doesn't make a "pick my outfit today" thread on Cinemaphile in the morning
>not having your wife set them out for you before you go to bed
you have already failed at life
>being connected to the outside world
DOUBLE cringe.
>I need to spend an hour waking up after I wake up (normally on social media).
Go back.
>>5 minutes drying off
>>5 minutes to shave
>>10 minutes getting dressed
>>10 minutes eating
>needing this much time to do this shit
Are you mentally moronic?
do you not shit
Shit in the day/evening
>projecting this hard
>malding over nothing
lmao stay salty dipshit
Do people really shower and shave every single day? I shower maybe twice a week and it has literally never been a problem
>I shower maybe twice a week and it has literally never been a problem
based pajeet
I sweat a lot especially if I walk or bike to work so yeah I kinda do have to shower every day. If it's winter though and I'm not sweaty, or if I'm off work and not going anywhere or doing anything, then yeah a few times a week is enough, just a clean set of clothes every day and I look and smell fine. I actually used to get told I smell nice by women in my younger years (back when I actually spoke to women) and it was always when I didn't shower that day.
same, and I shower in the evening, never had an issue with hygeine
>>10 minute shower
Do you jerk off in the shower?
I do. I don't see how that changes anything though.
>5 minutes drying off
?
Truly restful sleep (6~8hr), high protein lower grains, enough water/sun/exercise solves this. No digital screen use 1hr before bed.
>10 minutes pretending the alarm didn't ring
>5 minutes getting off after the backup alarm rings
>5 minutes to waddle to the bathroom, brush teeth and turn on the shower
>5-10 minute shower depending on how much hot water there is
>5 minutes to get dressed, get coffee and settle down in front of the computer
>~20 minutes to play chess and drink coffee
>10 minutes to take a shit
>5 minutes to leave
the perfect morning
homie you dry af
lol wut that last part must be bait, I'm the type that wakes up at 8 am, brushes my teeth gets dressed and go straight to work making it in by 845 so I can get stoned in the parking lot. I make dough for a living
>brushes my teeth
Here's another fun thread to unravel/american media representation
Do you eat breakfast before, or after, having brushed your teeth?
during
I always did it after and was confused by movies where they brush immediately. But apparently it's better to brush first, particularly if drinking coffee.
how is it better?
Layer of protection before eating food.
If you drink coffee first then apparently you're just shoving the acid deeper into your enamel and then putting a layer over it.
>apparently
pick up your toothpaste, read the back of it, it'll tell you to brush -after- eating
>this guy believes big tooth's propaganda
And qtip boxes say to never put it in your ear.
my life is literally filled with deep depression before work if I don't immediately head in after using the bathroom and brushing
>5 minutes to shave
>10 minutes getting dressed
How the frick do you spend twice as much time getting dressed than shaving? For me it would be like 5 minutes getting dressed and 15 minutes shaving.
>Wake up at 6:30 a.m.
>Have enough time to give the wife a morning rape
I wake up at 0300 to get ready for the day. By 7am I'm usually taking a nap at work.
>characrer wakes up at 6 am
>lays in bed until 7
>makes coffee and cooks breakfast until 8
>faps in bed until 9
>takes a shower
>waits until around 10 to eat breakfast
>shows up at work some time around 11
>boss still thanks him
Is this a dream season or something? Surely he can't keep getting away with this.
>waking up that late for work
lucky
You're not supposed to make coffee until an hour after you wake up. Fricks with your cortisol.
>character wakes up at 2:45 AM
>Character wakes up at 2:45 am
>Checks phone really quick
>Couple of hours have gone by
>Tries to desperately sleep for 1 hour before heading out to work
>Is lethargic and tired as frick at work and doesn't do shit
>character showers in the morning
Is this just a TV/film thing that isn't as common IRL but still influences people to do the same? Like Americans wearing shoes indoors.
When else you gonna shower?
In the morning, you've just been asleep for several hours, sweating and entrenched in your bed sheets. That's when you shower so that you're fresh and don't have obvious bo when interacting with others.
But how will I attract a mate if all my musk is washed off?
I dunno, try repeating a funny joke you saw on tv
I don't know about you but I actually sweat during the day when I'm exercising and moving around, not laying motionless and sleeping.
Also I don't bring all of the world's daily filth into my clean bed with me at night.
again how are you people sweating more asleep at night than you when active during the day
it's the night terrors
>my clean bed
Nope.
Dirt free maybe. But not free of odor causing microbes
do you ever think your bed smells bad because you bring all of the world's filth into it?
do you not have deodorant
Do you you wash your hands before peeing and not after?
Technically both? I don't limit my hand washing to just piss & shit time.
Yeah I wash my hands after handling my dick and balls and pubes and everything, but I also wash my hands when handling food or sanitize them after touching common surfaces.
But let's go with the ass-wiping analogy instead.
One should wipe their ass -after- shitting, right? When their butthole is at the most dirtiest shittiest state possible?
That's why you should shower when coming home in the evening.
>One should wipe their ass -after- shitting, right? When their butthole is at the most dirtiest shittiest state possible?
Okay. One should shower after shitting right? When their butthole is at the most dirtiest shittest state possible?
That's what bidets and zoomer wipes are for.
>liking getting sprayed directly in the ass and using baby wipes like a homosexual
have a nice day, dick lips
I don't, but it's an alternative to awkwardly showering your butthole.
How would yo even do that? Sit on the edge of the bath with your pants still on?
>doesn't shower and covers it with deodorant
Lol what's next, "just wear a black hoodie then nobody will notice your BO"?
the hoodie is clean and in itself does not smell
I showered at night, and went to sleep in a clean bed.
Why would I be smelling in the morning? I don't weigh 500 lbs.
>went to sleep in a clean bed.
>Why would I be smelling in the morning?
Because the bed is not free of odor causing microbes. You are laying in them for 8 hours.
And you're collecting all sorts of dirt and bacteria and sweat on your skin for 16 hours and bringing that shit into your bed.
No wonder your bed smells like a petri dish at the bottom of a smoker's dumpster.
Morning showerers are at their cleanest when they walk out the door, and with every minute that passes they become sweatier and dirtier and filthier and then at the end of the day when they're at their greasiest and filthiest they decide to roll around in their own juices
>Morning showerers are at their cleanest when they walk out the door
I'm glad we agree
Evening showerers are just as clean as them. because sleeping in a clean bed isn't the same as running a marathon.
They also don't have to stress and waste time in the morning.
>getting stressed over taking a shower in the morning
now THIS is autism
Nah, like the other anon said my morning are 2 hours of me sloooowly eating breakfast, relaxing, watching a couple of episodes of whatever. Get some stretching done. Wake up nice and easy.
You have fun living out your mornings in 5-minute sequences though.
>relaxing
Yeah it's called taking a shower
*BZZZ* BZZZ* BZZZ*
ALERT: SHOWERING TIME HAS EXCEEDED THE ALLOCATED SCHEDULE OF 5 MINUTES, YOU WILL NOW RECEIVE A SMALL ELECTRIC SHOCK TO RECONDITION YOUR BEHAVIOR
literally the opposite of autism (obsession with a rigid unwavering fixed schedule) but okay
>literally the opposite of autism
Me? Yes. You? No. kek
Taking two hours of preparation to leave the house is also autistic behavior
>two hours of preparation
what preparation? I'm relaxing, eating a healthy breakfast, watching anime or even playing a bit of video games.
Meanwhile morning showerers be all OH NO I'M BEHIND MY 5 MINUTE WINDOW FOR BREAKFAST, TIME TO SHOVE HALF COOKED EGGS DOWN MY THROAT AS I CATCH UP TO MY DESIGNATED DRESSING SCHEDULE *GUG* *GLUG* *ACK* I GUESS I'LL PEE IN THE CAR AS WELL
I pee in a big plastic mug in my car so you got me there
Holy shit how long does it take you to shower?
An hour or some shit. He's autistic, remember?
I don't time it, which is the luxury morning showerers don't have.
Really it's like ~20 minutes or something, but yeah if I wanted to I could take an hour, hell I could take a bath as well.
>I don't time it
>it's like ~20 minutes or something
I'm still aware of the passage of time frogboy.
>watching anime
more like ocd
I can't enjoy my mornings like this because I have work to go to. I can't take as long as I want, I can't really have fun knowing I have to be at work in a couple of hours, it feels like time wasted from my day. I'd rather get ready in 10 minutes and add that extra time to my evening when I can actually relax and do what I want, knowing the whole evening is mine until I fall asleep. I know some guys at work who are like you and enjoy long mornings but I just can't. Wage slavery is so depressing.
thats me
u smell
>how are you people sweating more asleep at night
There are people who don't have continual nightmares?
deodorant covers up BO well enough
>washing your hands after you pee
Do americans really?
Exercise just for 15 mins a day is more than good enough
Eggs take just a few mins to prep
Shower should only be 5 mins
Shaving and dressing should also take 5 mins max for both
Total time 30 mins
real life people actually shower in the morning?
did you piss and shit in your bed all night long?
I shower in the morning, and at night I wash my face, arms and feet before going into be. Sometimes I'll shower at night too if I've sweating a lot
>and at night I wash my face, arms and feet before going into be.
My face and hair feels greasy if I don't shower. It's been this way since I hit puberty. I'm 31 now, and I don't leave the house without having a shower first.
but you're fine with sleeping with greasy hair?
It doesn't feel greasy until after I wake up.
uh yeah, normal people shower before going to school or work
I am guessing you were the smelly kid in school
we can all smell you bro
People who shower daily kill their self cleaning biome. You're the pajeet
The morning vs. evening shower thing has always been a white collar vs. blue collar thing. Anyone who has to do physical labour for a living is going to need to shower in the evening because they will inevitably be very sweaty and dirty. 2 showers a day isn't economical and no blue collar workplace expects you to be perfectly fresh and groomed in the morning, so 1 shower in the evening is the obvious choice.
Yeah but just walking around in office buildings and parking lots and shitting out your ass during the day at your white collar job, you still get dirty during the day.
Take a shower when you get home, not immediately but sometime between that and going to bed.
Take your shoes off too.
Correct, but also two showers a day frick up your skin. Actually even daily showering does that, but twice a day is worse.
ONE shower a day dries my skin so much it turns into a damn pond overcompensating. 2 is totally out of the question.
shower warm and then rinse out with cold water, your skin won't be dried up anymore. Better for the hair, as well
Also white dudes don't know about skin lotion.
They think it's only for black women, or women in general, gay men at best.
t. white dude who started moisturizing in his 30s and wishes he had started in his 20s.
i grew up with clinically dry skin and literal grandma hands and so by the time of HS i had adapted to ignore it and now I'd rather just be dry then have that oily lotion on my skin
I started moisturizing face in late 20s for vanity, and then dated a girl who had tons of Kiehl's cosmetics, so I started using that type of facial moisturizer. it's great, along with prescription strength Retin-A, at keeping your face youthful looking, and the moisturizer feels great after you shave. I sound like a gay talking about this tho lol
>wake up
>lay in bed for 60 minutes
>sit on toilet for 45 minutes
>go back to bed
My Black person
Just boil your eggs in the same kettle as the water for your french press. Get your coffee and breakfast done in half the time.
Just shit in your kettle too and you save another 5 minutes!
>character doesn't spend 2 hours minimum eating breakfast and slowly drinking his coffee while browsing the internet
Honestly this. I don't care about lunch or dinner I'll scarf that shit down in 5 minutes while standing at a counter, but breakfast really is the most important meal of the day
I don't get people who wake up just AAAAAAAH QUICK TIME TO LIVE OUT IN THESE FRANTIC 5 MINUTE SEQUENCES OH GOD I'M ALREADY 45 SECONDS BEHIND MY SCHEDULE I'LL SHIT IN THE SHOWER LIKE A GOOD WAGIE *MMFFPFBMBMBPLPLRPLRNTTTT*
Character doesn't wake up.
>no burning 9000 calories in your sleep and sweating right through your mattress everyday
>Character is an unemployed alcoholic
>Gets up at 7am, takes a shit, and goes back to bed
>alarm
>get up immediately
>turn on shower
>light smoke
>dress
>coffee
>check new solo female porn
>get a chub, no finishing
good start to the day I'd say
work should start at 10/11, 9 is inhumane
also we should only work 3 days a week
Please think of the banks and insurance companies
think of the inefficient production lines anon!
Think of all those hardworking landlords who would accrue less rental income
I only take a shower before I go to bed. It keeps my sheets clean.
I used to do this until I realised extra time sleeping is far more valuable for your health.
Shower before bed and in the morning just wash and dry your hair a little. Shave every 2-3 days. Eat something quick like protein powder plus banana. This shit is simple and easy to do, and you won't have to wake up 3 hours before work. it's not rocket science
I'm a self employed Youtube personality with 400,000 subscribers. I wake up whenever I want and I eat caviar for breakfast
Never eat in the morning. Unironically its a israeli trick. You should fast for 16 out of 24 hours of the day.
it's a israeli trick to normalize not eating
>main character has to take the bus to go to work
>there's a mentally disabled 2/10 woman in front of his seat, she can't barely speak for shit
>a hilarious moment happens when the main character gropes her ass through her pantyhose or legging, she notices it but doesn't speak about it at all
>after a few days of this, he begins to take it a little further
>boob groping, nipple tweaking, fingering through her leggings, and then just straight up fingerblasting
>he never heard her moaning, her speech impediment is so terrible that nothing can be done about it
>main character has been fingering a mentally disabled woman for months now
haha I fricking love this nutjob.
I found her picture on a local tard home website. Trips and I will reveal the unedited.
you're not on /b/ you underage kid leave this board and have a nice day
You think i'm doing a le ebic 4chin sekrit klub troll pussy ass b***h?
Trips and I will reveal pic related in full size.
>the autistic OCD moron who relaxes in the morning and evenings
>the very normal cool not-autistic person who has their entire mornings scheduled down in increments of 5 minutes on an excel spreadsheet
Yes
This thread has convinced me to wipe my ass before shitting.
Also to brush my teeth before breakfast.
Nah prelube your butthole so it always comes out clean
Would this actually help?
It does. I've been doing it for years.
If you aren't shitting the bed as you sleep you're ngmi
>Character is an alcoholic
>Doesn't have hangover rage
>is not morbidly obese
Who makes this movies?
>wake up at 07:00
>it takes me around two hours to shave, go to the bathroom, gather my trash and go to the Supermarket
>it takes me another hour to shop
>it takes me around another hour to clean them
>by the time I'm done the morning's gone
Time has always been my enemy and I do not understand why I am so slow. Before I school, I'd wake up an hour and a half earlier, and I lived literally 2 minutes away from school. My whole family is slow too. My schizo theory is that I was supposed to live as a Lord, but I did something bad in the previous iteration and now I'm being punished with this life.
i shop autistically fast running around the store rapidly cause I like being a social pariah
hes like a woman getting dressed, my wardrobe is like an animated cartoon character
I talk to myself as if I'm narrating my list and thoughts to some unseen audience while I shop. I know it looks weird to the regular people, but I cannot stop it.
women love it when you wish them good morning and your breath smells like eggs & coffee with the slightest hint of fake mint
>Character doesn't piss or shit the entire movie
Dammit, Jack.
I'm convinced some people have a few hours extra in their day. Fricking reading? Fitness? How does anyone find the time for anything but the very essentials?
By not being a moron. Half the posts ITT are from autists who need an hour to take a fricking shower kek
I haven't shampood my hair in 6 months.
it can be done, but in the movies they usually do everything so slowly like they're not even in a rush
>character comes back from work
>has enough energy to exercise, shower and cook dinner
I never understood this. It takes me like half an hour just to shave let alone shower, brush my teeth and eat forget about cooking or exercising
I shower before and after work. I'm sweaty and drink a lot
>character doesn't wake up to pee 8 times a night