I'm convinced Thulsa Doom is a symbol for israelites, mind control, and his golem minions. Creating a Golem was never a real "statue", but mindcontrol. And here, this was the power of "Flesh" that Doom relished over and gave up the Riddle of Steel for. Conversely, Milius used a Nietzsche quote at the beginning of the film to describe an ubermensch that Conan represented. He's the man of pure Will and only controls himself.
Yes, yes.. I know.. another antisemitic schizo chud. But think about it.
Well, there's good israelites. Whatever later israelites adopted is similar to this though. They didn't start talking about golems themselves until the medieval era. It probably predates them. Like traditions of entrancing and mesmerization everywhere really. But it definitely abounds now, and definitely in Hollywood, which Milius would know. He's pretty much persona non grata, as far as directors go.
Look up the order of assassins (the same as in Assassins Creed)
Bill Cooper has a FANTASTIC hour long lecture on their rights and rituals. They lived in a LAVISH castle deep in the mountains, where they were treated to the wealth of the world, but at a cost. Their lives were forfeit to the order, literally to the point where if commanded to cast themselves off the mountain they would (and regularly did to demonstrate fealty)
I don't like when they kill the woman uselessly.
I have all the books downloaded and I feel like the whole series is going to be rife with dead girls and violent sacrifices.
It's really bad. The filmmakers clearly display an absolute lack about even the basics of the source material, its world, Conan's character, or the general tone of Howard's sword and sorcery adventures. It's a generic globe trotting epic fantasy, at complete odds with real Conan.
No he isn't, and you clearly have never read the books.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Yes I have, Frick you.
2 years ago
Anonymous
How is he not?
You just can't go "nah-uh!"
2 years ago
Anonymous
Cuz Conan was a slave for 20 years pushing a wheel.
2 years ago
Anonymous
How is he not?
You just can't go "nah-uh!"
2 years ago
Anonymous
Conan is said to have smoldering blue eyes that study and move with intense energy. He's also white, and his dark skin is from traveling so much. He wears his hair with a simple cut and it's long and dark, not like Sully from Doctor Quinn.
Momoa on the otherhand is way to Hollywood looking. He's got lazy dudebro eyes and his hair looks like someone spent hours on it. He's not white, he doesn't at all look like he came out of the grey mountains of the north
2 years ago
Anonymous
Instead of arguing over whether he looked the part, and I will say I actually thought he was good for the role, I have to ask. Who would you cast instead in the role of a young Conan?
2 years ago
Anonymous
Probably just get someone entirely new. There's thousands of aspiring actors. Not exactly sure why we have to choose the same faces all the time. Conan is non exactly traditionally pretty so going outside of Hollywood is the best bet.
>moves like a Cat
It isn't a Conan story unless he's compared to a cat once every four sentences.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Moving with pantherine grace as he gnaws a thick leg of meat before tossing the bone aside and rising, fire burning in blue eyes framed by a square cut black mane.
No disrespect to Arnold at all. But Momoa looks & moves & acts exactly like book Conan. I am never going to say he is the best Conan, just that he was perfectly cast & every other part of the film sucked
He wasn't tall enough though, Conan's built like a brick shithouse
Even Arnold is a bit of a stretch, but close enough. Original Conan is a Celt (Cimmeria, but Howard based them on Celts). The blue eyed, black haired type. But pale.
Conan was always described as bronze skinned because he was out in the sun so much as a wanderer
2 years ago
Anonymous
6'4 isn't tall enough?
2 years ago
Anonymous
More like 7', 300 lb.
2 years ago
Anonymous
I mean, he's caucasian. Sorry. Mamoa is cool, but he ain't no Celt.
2 years ago
Anonymous
He's the perfect skin tone for Conan
Put in some ice blue contacts and the dude would be exactly what Howard would have wanted
2 years ago
Anonymous
Mamoa is an "exotic" type. Although that term is usually subscribed to women. He doesn't look like a Northern Euro. Conan is just one of the "black Irish" basically. Like Colin Farrell or Gabriel Byrne... he's just tanned.
2 years ago
Anonymous
None of them are roided like Jason
We may have to agree to disagree here anon. I read all the books and I think he was a fine cast for the part.
Are you gonna say that every israelite needs to be played by Schlomo Shekelstein tier dudes? Or every black dude needs to be played by Terry Crews?
2 years ago
Anonymous
I don't mean to say any particular Irish actor is right. I just listed some examples to describe the black Irish. Pierce Brosnan is another. There's probably some dude out there who's perfect, but not even Irish. Maybe some Slav. I think Arnold, but especially Milius, captured the spirit though.
Even Arnold is a bit of a stretch, but close enough. Original Conan is a Celt (Cimmeria, but Howard based them on Celts). The blue eyed, black haired type. But pale.
Pretty dookie overall, however, I got frickin PUMPED during the final battle. Saw it in theater and it was about a 6 until that moment, spiked into an 8 then died back to 6. If you got time to waste, why not?
She made a lot of femcels seethe at that time, when she was dating peak aryan dna. She might have started the whole 'I hate white guys and only date black guys' movement.
>back when chuds didn’t care about Black folk being forced into everything because they were there organically
no one complains about Childs in The Thing or Apollo Creed you disingenuous homosexual moron israelite. come approach me in the street and I’ll Kyle Rittenhouse your sou boy ass
I work with a fricking moron like you. he’s in his 50s. one day, we were talking about bias in the media. he gets a confused look on his face, and he says >what? what do you guys mean, bias in the media? how is the media biased??
my co-workers and I never saw him the same way again. he lived over 5 decades and never noticed any pattern in the media. *that* is how fricking stupid you sound. you seriously sound like you’re mentally handicapped
by media bias are you referring to the most popular news media corp, fox news, being larger than all other us news corps combined?
i agree, it is sort of weird more than half the country gets their political opinions an australian named rupert murdoch. also crazy they lie so much they repeatedly deny being "news" in court.
KEK. morons like you always make laugh. Let me guess, you still believe in right vs left politics and democrates vs republicans right? And you follow "alt-right " media right? And you are very smart because you are subscribed to 20+ eceleb "political commentators" right?
She was actually strong irl, not to mention blacks were really chill back then compared to today. israelites ruined it all once Obama became a president.
She was legit strong, She lifted a full grown man in a Bond flick.
She made a lot of femcels seethe at that time, when she was dating peak aryan dna. She might have started the whole 'I hate white guys and only date black guys' movement.
good times when chuds didn't give a shit about stronk black wimin
>strong enough to lift up a grown man
While I see she does have a strong core with that waist, I thought muscles in the arms add to it, but her arms are thin in pics. Is a healthy core is all it takes to be fricking strong? im moronic, but interested how it works
He's perfectly utilized, what are you talking about? This isn't a quippy one-liner fest like his later films, Conan should be presented as a foreigner with an odd accent. Cimmerians are immensely rare to see beyond their homeland.
I'm not saying I wanted him to quip, but he just sounds like he's struggling with the lines in real life and sometimes he puts weight to the wrong words in a way that doesn't sound like a foreigner not completely understanding the language and more like Arnold as a person just reading off a script with a coach.
how hard is the pin to pull out of a grenade? wouldnt it be dangerous to just tie them onto your vest by the pin? what if you catch on a tree branch and dont notice it
Apparently the film rights to Conan are fricked up and belong to some random small company who won't do shit with them. Look up the story, it's weird. Arnie wants to do it but just can't.
Apparently the film rights to Conan are fricked up and belong to some random small company who won't do shit with them. Look up the story, it's weird. Arnie wants to do it but just can't.
CGI and special effects come from the office, from the directors of the office, but Kinetography is your director. Kinetography, and he lives in the Studio. Once producers lived in the Studio, Anon, and in the darkness of greed they fooled Kinetography, and they took from him the enigma of movies. Kinetography was angered, and the Studio shook, and CGI and special effects struck down these producers, and threw their bodies into the ovens. But in their rage, the directors forgot the secret of movies, and left it in the Editing Room. We, who found it, are just men: not directors, not producers, just men. And the secret of movies has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Anon, you must learn its discipline. For no one, no one in this world can you trust. Not normies, not roasties, not beasts... This you can trust.
>conan is king of aquilonia >amicable but loveless marriage to cement power >sons are hedonists and sorcerers >muses sadly over once-great tales of how he took the throne >other nobles scheme against him >while returning from some mind-numbing diplomatic event, his carriage is ambushed >the leader of the bandits says he's conan's bastard son, sired decades ago with a zamorian prostitute >conan takes him back to the palace >shenanigans ensure with conan's wife and his overtly homosex sons >conan and his bastard uncover a plot by evil heirs to overthrow and rule the kingdom >conan finds respect for his wife who disowns her shit kid sons, and after slaying the men he never considered his kin, he escapes with his real son to live out his final years wandering the land >epilogue is the son, now an old man himself, visiting conan's cimmerian cairn, with the original atlantean sword in the grip of conan's bones
>King Conan >troubled brow >asked what is best in life, yet has no answer anymore >harem of women >feisty but oldish wife >trying to teach his only son how to be strong >noble think while when he was young he was a mighty conquerer >he is now too old & backwards >They want a king who knows politics & trade >Conan will not "get with the times". >They plan to send a young man to seduce his wife, befriend his son, & ultimately slay Conan. >The assassin befriends the son but when he goes to seduce the wife she rebukes him & warns him about her husband's wrath >The assassin is bold though & instead kidnaps her & flees to the scheming noble's palace. >Conan then prepares for battle & brings his son with him >Sneaks into the palace, kills a bunch of guards >Gets caught & the scheming noble sics a huge pet monster on them. >Conan is mortally wounded/poisoned & the son kills the monster. >Conan continues to rescue wife despite being terminal >Crushes his enemies. >Sees his son come into his own strength >Passes dies from battle, with his sword in his hand & not from old age in bed. >Is brought before Crom & is asked the Riddle of Steel.
Credits roll before he answers.
Even while
watched the movie recently and honestly wasn't expecting a lot from it considering it's pretty much Arnold's first movie
to my surprise it's been in my mind ever since and can't stop playing the OST on the loop
genuinely probably the best fantasy movie with one of the best music in a movie
watched the movie recently and honestly wasn't expecting a lot from it considering it's pretty much Arnold's first movie
to my surprise it's been in my mind ever since and can't stop playing the OST on the loop
genuinely probably the best fantasy movie with one of the best music in a movie
I actually thought Predators was quite good. The casting was a bit meh but Brody brought his A-game even if he was a bit miscast. He certainly wasn't another Ahnold though.
i thought the books were average while i was reading them, i read all of them and when i realised there were no more conan adventures i genuinely felt empty
One of the best not-Howard Conan books was called I think Conan the Valorous. The absolute highlight isn’t the climax, but when he jumps into an arena to battle a King Bull in an arena, this monstrous 20-30 handspan tall bull and he has to do it hand to hand, no weapons. It’s a chapter that feels in some ways like it could have come right out of Howard.
Conan also goes back to Cimmeria for a while in it. >talks about the shit he’s seen >Cimmerians think it’s nonsense >grumbles, bunches up some snow (there was a blizzard) as a pillow for a nap rather than argue >Cimmerians conclude that he’s gone soft in the weak south because he needs a PILLOW to sleep now, he’s so far gone
When Howard wrote for money and marketing, they weren't as strong as earlier tales, but they he still made them fun and appealing. Read his Bran Mak Morn/Pict tales, they're highly underrated and span pretty much Howard's entire pre-modern timeline, from Atlantean Kull to 13th century Ireland/Scotland.
It's not a Conan movie, his motivations are against the character, it's dumbed down and PG-13, with zero philosophical musings between barbarians and sorcerers that made the original so intriguing. The violence isn't hefty or visceral. There's just o heart to it. It's a poor pastiche of itself
Crom laughs at your Conan thread, laughs from his mountain.
that isnt jason momoa
I'm convinced Thulsa Doom is a symbol for israelites, mind control, and his golem minions. Creating a Golem was never a real "statue", but mindcontrol. And here, this was the power of "Flesh" that Doom relished over and gave up the Riddle of Steel for. Conversely, Milius used a Nietzsche quote at the beginning of the film to describe an ubermensch that Conan represented. He's the man of pure Will and only controls himself.
Yes, yes.. I know.. another antisemitic schizo chud. But think about it.
But there are israelites in Conan they're the Shemites.
Well, there's good israelites. Whatever later israelites adopted is similar to this though. They didn't start talking about golems themselves until the medieval era. It probably predates them. Like traditions of entrancing and mesmerization everywhere really. But it definitely abounds now, and definitely in Hollywood, which Milius would know. He's pretty much persona non grata, as far as directors go.
But it goes deeper than that anon. There is a lot of symbolism in the movie.
Look up the order of assassins (the same as in Assassins Creed)
Bill Cooper has a FANTASTIC hour long lecture on their rights and rituals. They lived in a LAVISH castle deep in the mountains, where they were treated to the wealth of the world, but at a cost. Their lives were forfeit to the order, literally to the point where if commanded to cast themselves off the mountain they would (and regularly did to demonstrate fealty)
>Yes, yes.. I know.. another antisemitic schizo chud. But think about it.
You're among friends, not reddit
What was his problem?
I always thought that Thomas Jane was playing the young Conan
Hah, I can kind of see it.
The world of Conan is a very hostile and difficult place to live. Koonts will cut your head off on a whim.
I don't like when they kill the woman uselessly.
I have all the books downloaded and I feel like the whole series is going to be rife with dead girls and violent sacrifices.
Why i laught so haaaaaard? Why? I iteraly cant stop
Is the Jason Momoa one any good. I haven't heard anything good or bad about it.
It's not terrible if you just want a dumb adventure flick but it wont give you the answer to the riddle of steel.
It's really bad. The filmmakers clearly display an absolute lack about even the basics of the source material, its world, Conan's character, or the general tone of Howard's sword and sorcery adventures. It's a generic globe trotting epic fantasy, at complete odds with real Conan.
Momoa is a fantastic perfect cast for Conan, but the writing & movie shit the bed.
>Momoa is a fantastic perfect cast for Conan
wrong
He's closer to book Conan, He moves like a Cat.
>book Conan
doubt it, but i never read them because they're irrelevant
>I'm pround being an ignorant pig.
The evil scientist lady that wanted to make exos for zombies.
the arnold film is all you need. everything else is fan fiction.
Frick off, It's not even Conan's Story.
It's Kull's.
i don't think you understand me when i said everything else is fan fiction. it is NOT krull's story. whoever that is...
>fan fiction
Stop using words you don't understand.
>krull's
Oof are trying to make a funny?
stop referencing irrelevant media
Stop being an ignorant pig.
Conan is a literary character.
Arnold Conan is just Arnold
>Eaugh!
End yourself my man
i can't imagine anything more ironic than pale and pasty homosexuals reading books about conan.
All Conan nerds are big guys that will kick your teeth in.
Truth. I'm 6'5". Taller than Mamoa. Just not roided out.
Seconded. I'm average height but Cinemaphile. Also married with kids
You're missing out.
You can find short stories online; they are public domain.
You’re a moron.
No he isn't, and you clearly have never read the books.
Yes I have, Frick you.
Cuz Conan was a slave for 20 years pushing a wheel.
How is he not?
You just can't go "nah-uh!"
Conan is said to have smoldering blue eyes that study and move with intense energy. He's also white, and his dark skin is from traveling so much. He wears his hair with a simple cut and it's long and dark, not like Sully from Doctor Quinn.
Momoa on the otherhand is way to Hollywood looking. He's got lazy dudebro eyes and his hair looks like someone spent hours on it. He's not white, he doesn't at all look like he came out of the grey mountains of the north
Instead of arguing over whether he looked the part, and I will say I actually thought he was good for the role, I have to ask. Who would you cast instead in the role of a young Conan?
Probably just get someone entirely new. There's thousands of aspiring actors. Not exactly sure why we have to choose the same faces all the time. Conan is non exactly traditionally pretty so going outside of Hollywood is the best bet.
>moves like a Cat
It isn't a Conan story unless he's compared to a cat once every four sentences.
Moving with pantherine grace as he gnaws a thick leg of meat before tossing the bone aside and rising, fire burning in blue eyes framed by a square cut black mane.
Indeed. That's why I kinda liked him as Conan. He wasn't better than Arnold, but he was more faithful to the source material.
No disrespect to Arnold at all. But Momoa looks & moves & acts exactly like book Conan. I am never going to say he is the best Conan, just that he was perfectly cast & every other part of the film sucked
I love how he fought, all unorthodox & like a black whirlwind of death.
He wasn't tall enough though, Conan's built like a brick shithouse
Conan was always described as bronze skinned because he was out in the sun so much as a wanderer
6'4 isn't tall enough?
More like 7', 300 lb.
I mean, he's caucasian. Sorry. Mamoa is cool, but he ain't no Celt.
He's the perfect skin tone for Conan
Put in some ice blue contacts and the dude would be exactly what Howard would have wanted
Mamoa is an "exotic" type. Although that term is usually subscribed to women. He doesn't look like a Northern Euro. Conan is just one of the "black Irish" basically. Like Colin Farrell or Gabriel Byrne... he's just tanned.
None of them are roided like Jason
We may have to agree to disagree here anon. I read all the books and I think he was a fine cast for the part.
Are you gonna say that every israelite needs to be played by Schlomo Shekelstein tier dudes? Or every black dude needs to be played by Terry Crews?
I don't mean to say any particular Irish actor is right. I just listed some examples to describe the black Irish. Pierce Brosnan is another. There's probably some dude out there who's perfect, but not even Irish. Maybe some Slav. I think Arnold, but especially Milius, captured the spirit though.
Even Arnold is a bit of a stretch, but close enough. Original Conan is a Celt (Cimmeria, but Howard based them on Celts). The blue eyed, black haired type. But pale.
Don't expect anything and you'll enjoy it. It's just a popcorn flick.
Pretty dookie overall, however, I got frickin PUMPED during the final battle. Saw it in theater and it was about a 6 until that moment, spiked into an 8 then died back to 6. If you got time to waste, why not?
You're gonna get kicked out of Valhalla and laughed at if you talk like that.
And that's a good thing.
bros what is best in life ?
To See Conan
To See Conan played before
And to hear the lamantation of Conan
To shitpost all day.
To see your posts reported.
And to hear the indifference of the mods.
To have tendies in your hand
To watch top kino
And to hear the lamentation of the jannies
Hell ya
Good dentistry and soft lavatory paper
We'll never have King Conan kino, will we?
That timeline was robbed of us.
>The script exists at least
good times when chuds didn't give a shit about stronk black wimin
She was legit strong, She lifted a full grown man in a Bond flick.
She made a lot of femcels seethe at that time, when she was dating peak aryan dna. She might have started the whole 'I hate white guys and only date black guys' movement.
>race mixing is good now
>back when chuds didn’t care about Black folk being forced into everything because they were there organically
no one complains about Childs in The Thing or Apollo Creed you disingenuous homosexual moron israelite. come approach me in the street and I’ll Kyle Rittenhouse your sou boy ass
I work with a fricking moron like you. he’s in his 50s. one day, we were talking about bias in the media. he gets a confused look on his face, and he says
>what? what do you guys mean, bias in the media? how is the media biased??
my co-workers and I never saw him the same way again. he lived over 5 decades and never noticed any pattern in the media. *that* is how fricking stupid you sound. you seriously sound like you’re mentally handicapped
by media bias are you referring to the most popular news media corp, fox news, being larger than all other us news corps combined?
i agree, it is sort of weird more than half the country gets their political opinions an australian named rupert murdoch. also crazy they lie so much they repeatedly deny being "news" in court.
That’s literally CNN that denies being “news”, you lying homosexual.
KEK. morons like you always make laugh. Let me guess, you still believe in right vs left politics and democrates vs republicans right? And you follow "alt-right " media right? And you are very smart because you are subscribed to 20+ eceleb "political commentators" right?
Its funny to me that your post immediately got two people mad because they don't wanna recognize an obvious bias in media.
She was actually strong irl, not to mention blacks were really chill back then compared to today. israelites ruined it all once Obama became a president.
>strong enough to lift up a grown man
While I see she does have a strong core with that waist, I thought muscles in the arms add to it, but her arms are thin in pics. Is a healthy core is all it takes to be fricking strong? im moronic, but interested how it works
What's best in life, anons?
The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
WRONG!
>*guffaws derisively*
lmao what a gay
I wish Arnold wasn't so terrible in this movie, a few years later and the acting dialogue might be a bit better from him. Otherwise a great movie
He's perfectly utilized, what are you talking about? This isn't a quippy one-liner fest like his later films, Conan should be presented as a foreigner with an odd accent. Cimmerians are immensely rare to see beyond their homeland.
I'm not saying I wanted him to quip, but he just sounds like he's struggling with the lines in real life and sometimes he puts weight to the wrong words in a way that doesn't sound like a foreigner not completely understanding the language and more like Arnold as a person just reading off a script with a coach.
god she was so beautiful, the only good thing about that lump of shit sequel
Both were beautiful. The queen is the same chick with Zod from the Superman movies. She never played in enough.
Sarah Douglas
She's in Return of Swamp Thing & Return of the Living Dead Part III.
>Return of the Dead 3
What role did she play now again?
She's 14 in this pic
17
yeah and I was even younger when I saw this the first time, so what?
Is this worth watching?
did you like conan the destroyer and do you hate women?
Yes and yes. Would I like the movie?
>movie where the poster is the best part
many such cases
I watched it for the first time recently, enjoyable but not Conan tier kino. Actress is qt and the angry chink kid is funny
>Actress is qt
Its better than second Conan. You just have to pretend his name is Conan and it is fine.
Yes. Brigitte Nielsen was hot but Arnold still mogs her.
Peak toxic masculinity, the way it should be
REH knew what was up.
Commando is the modern (80s) equivalent.
how hard is the pin to pull out of a grenade? wouldnt it be dangerous to just tie them onto your vest by the pin? what if you catch on a tree branch and dont notice it
You have to squeeze the spoon first
It's possible but it's really fricking hard
You need to squeeze the spoon first for a good release.
What makes you think it would be more likely to catch the round body of the grenade on something than to catch the loop of the pin?
>You will never see movies like this in your lifetime again
Feels bad man
Conan or Predator? Which is the best Arnold film?
Conan is the best Arnold Film
That would be Total Recall anon
Trick question T2
ANONS WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE
>conan thread
finally, a chance to post my conan apus!
Hearing the lamentations of the women, conanon?
CONANON...
**cue fight training montage & music**
here's a (You) for nicely done apu.
That's a fine apu you got there!
You WILL watch and sing along
God tier
The commentary on this is funny/great too. Also, Total Recall. Arnold DVDs are worth it for that.
ANONS?
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!
KING CONAN FRICKING WHEN
Not the way things are now. Even though Arnold kept dropping hints he wanted to do it.
King Conan with literal old man Arnold would be amazing. If Cruise can do Maverick, Arnold could do this
Apparently the film rights to Conan are fricked up and belong to some random small company who won't do shit with them. Look up the story, it's weird. Arnie wants to do it but just can't.
That is a very good point.
Damn...I'll have to look it up.
arnold was too beefy to swing the sword around in conan so he had to drop weight. it was no problem because he is arnold and just did it.
CGI and special effects come from the office, from the directors of the office, but Kinetography is your director. Kinetography, and he lives in the Studio. Once producers lived in the Studio, Anon, and in the darkness of greed they fooled Kinetography, and they took from him the enigma of movies. Kinetography was angered, and the Studio shook, and CGI and special effects struck down these producers, and threw their bodies into the ovens. But in their rage, the directors forgot the secret of movies, and left it in the Editing Room. We, who found it, are just men: not directors, not producers, just men. And the secret of movies has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Anon, you must learn its discipline. For no one, no one in this world can you trust. Not normies, not roasties, not beasts... This you can trust.
Nice.
Needs a reboot.
Arnie 🙂
Full film when?
Holy kino
Still waiting for King Conan...
>conan is king of aquilonia
>amicable but loveless marriage to cement power
>sons are hedonists and sorcerers
>muses sadly over once-great tales of how he took the throne
>other nobles scheme against him
>while returning from some mind-numbing diplomatic event, his carriage is ambushed
>the leader of the bandits says he's conan's bastard son, sired decades ago with a zamorian prostitute
>conan takes him back to the palace
>shenanigans ensure with conan's wife and his overtly homosex sons
>conan and his bastard uncover a plot by evil heirs to overthrow and rule the kingdom
>conan finds respect for his wife who disowns her shit kid sons, and after slaying the men he never considered his kin, he escapes with his real son to live out his final years wandering the land
>epilogue is the son, now an old man himself, visiting conan's cimmerian cairn, with the original atlantean sword in the grip of conan's bones
every conan story where he's king is just the same shit over and over
Yeah and it's kino
Every conan story is just the same shit over and over, thats kind of the charm of pulp. King Conan stories are the weakest of the lot though.
>King Conan
>troubled brow
>asked what is best in life, yet has no answer anymore
>harem of women
>feisty but oldish wife
>trying to teach his only son how to be strong
>noble think while when he was young he was a mighty conquerer
>he is now too old & backwards
>They want a king who knows politics & trade
>Conan will not "get with the times".
>They plan to send a young man to seduce his wife, befriend his son, & ultimately slay Conan.
>The assassin befriends the son but when he goes to seduce the wife she rebukes him & warns him about her husband's wrath
>The assassin is bold though & instead kidnaps her & flees to the scheming noble's palace.
>Conan then prepares for battle & brings his son with him
>Sneaks into the palace, kills a bunch of guards
>Gets caught & the scheming noble sics a huge pet monster on them.
>Conan is mortally wounded/poisoned & the son kills the monster.
>Conan continues to rescue wife despite being terminal
>Crushes his enemies.
>Sees his son come into his own strength
>Passes dies from battle, with his sword in his hand & not from old age in bed.
>Is brought before Crom & is asked the Riddle of Steel.
Credits roll before he answers.
Even while
Kino concept anon
Thank you guys it means a lot to me. Now if i could just make it in hollywood
This is a great concept and i love it.
I just wanted to tell you I got the joke
Can you explain it for my friend?
when is he going to star in a battlecats movie?
Sandahl Bergman was peak snu-snu.
All Conan women were pretty hot. It's ridiculous.
The OST is definitely among the best too.
Listen to the Conan commentary, Milius fawns over her every time she's on screen, man had a bad crush on her
>snu-snu.
Ugh.
I fricking hate Futurama
watched the movie recently and honestly wasn't expecting a lot from it considering it's pretty much Arnold's first movie
to my surprise it's been in my mind ever since and can't stop playing the OST on the loop
genuinely probably the best fantasy movie with one of the best music in a movie
John Milius gonna do what John Milius do best.
Been watching this on tubi. Good ideas for D&D sessions
Roy Thomas was too lax of a loremaster, Arnold should've had black hair.
Gay ass shit movie. Cheap 80s shlock. Boring story that is borderline nonexistent, lame fights, decent score though I'll give them that
t.
Its ok, there is a minimum testosterone threshold to enjoy Conan. Maybe ask your doctor for some trt.
should I watch the destroyer or the barbarian
both
Barbarian. Destroyer is dogshit, despite the hot chicks and Wilt the Stilt.
Roy Thomas.
There's never been another great action star since Arnold.
He would have been Brandon Lee. RIP
I actually thought Predators was quite good. The casting was a bit meh but Brody brought his A-game even if he was a bit miscast. He certainly wasn't another Ahnold though.
>a bit miscast
>a bit
He's a rat fink who no man with a drop of testosterone can admire.
I still feel utterly sad when thinking that Legend of Conan movie got canceled.
RIGHT
i thought the books were average while i was reading them, i read all of them and when i realised there were no more conan adventures i genuinely felt empty
pleb
Look up the Robert Jordan pastiches.
Based, they’re some of the best pastiches I think. Conan always ends up fricking some large breasted woman.
One of the best not-Howard Conan books was called I think Conan the Valorous. The absolute highlight isn’t the climax, but when he jumps into an arena to battle a King Bull in an arena, this monstrous 20-30 handspan tall bull and he has to do it hand to hand, no weapons. It’s a chapter that feels in some ways like it could have come right out of Howard.
Conan also goes back to Cimmeria for a while in it.
>talks about the shit he’s seen
>Cimmerians think it’s nonsense
>grumbles, bunches up some snow (there was a blizzard) as a pillow for a nap rather than argue
>Cimmerians conclude that he’s gone soft in the weak south because he needs a PILLOW to sleep now, he’s so far gone
Solomon Kane is far superior in my opinion. Or at least I feel a much greater affinity with him.
Good shit too.
When Howard wrote for money and marketing, they weren't as strong as earlier tales, but they he still made them fun and appealing. Read his Bran Mak Morn/Pict tales, they're highly underrated and span pretty much Howard's entire pre-modern timeline, from Atlantean Kull to 13th century Ireland/Scotland.
Burt Lancaster would've been a great Conan.
WHERE is the new 4k HDR restoration? Conan is in dire need of a new scan and color grading.
Red Sonja getting a UHD release first is a joke
Was Conan The Destroyer any good? I really liked the first kino.
nah it's trash.
it's alright, not as good as the first
It's not a Conan movie, his motivations are against the character, it's dumbed down and PG-13, with zero philosophical musings between barbarians and sorcerers that made the original so intriguing. The violence isn't hefty or visceral. There's just o heart to it. It's a poor pastiche of itself
what is best in life?
Kino.
it would have literally taken only 1 bullet to test if it was a hologram or not