Congratulations on Madame Web being the movie with the first women of our time I stood up and clapped.
 Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
 UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Congratulations on Madame Web being the movie with the first women of our time I stood up and clapped.
What are you saying? I can't understand sorry
I am saying that this film has women. And those women are the first women. This film has the women that are the first. The women that are, the first.
No I don't think so. I think madame web is like second woman because he was born from her mom and got spider powers. I'm not sure where the rest supposedly will get their power
Jesus zoomers are moronic
Course they are. I'm purposely ruining the world with my wealth just to fricking sink them; I'll die happy.
we need more bawds like megan back in hollywood
Congratulations on being the first pedophile of our thread.
Course they are. I'm purposely ruining the world with my wealth just to fricking sink them; I'll die happy.
Your moronic zoomer-speak isn't proper English so nothing went over my head, tiktard.
Whatever you say, paste eater.
Don't worry, you'll be begging for paste to eat with how bad I'm leaving the world.
I don't give a shit. For me, it's the McChicken.
Oh it won't be around for you either, you stupid uneducated little fricker.
There'll be three and they'll all be for free you fat faced knob gobbler.
Don't worry, it won't. You are fricked.
No, it is your mother who is fricked. She also had three for free.
It's that sort of unintelligent "frick your mother" dogshit that solidifies the fact that you are an uneducated moron. I accept your concession.
Calling me a stupid head is not going to make you seem less moronic, three-for-free.
I accept your concession.
Your mother accepted my cum session. Ooh momma.
Thank you zoomer; I accept your concession.
You might not want to kiss your mother's face when she comes home tonight. Just a warning.
I fully accept your concession with open arms. Thank you.
And you might want to throw away all the produce in the house.
I fully accept your concession with open arms. Thank you.
Lmao embarrassing redditer
change the bed sheets, flip the couch cushions...
You're about 14 lmao you wouldn't know how to tuck a real woman lmao tragic; in any case, I fully accept your concession with open arms. Thank you for conceding, even though I know it hurts with your samegayging.
Fifth guy, I shat on her dick.
He's not wrong. Your mother's a total bawd dude.
Lmao obvious samegay
Hi, I'm the third guy. Why does she moan your name when she fricks other dudes?
Samegay
Fourth guy here, she shat on my dick.
if This film has the women that are the first, where did they faint or draw menstrual blood? no movie company in this world has the capabilities
It's the current zoomer joke. Instead of saying
>it's the best movie of all time
They say
>it's the movie of all time
The joke is they aren't giving it praise which is what it sounds like is going to happen. They're just acknowledging it exists. Scroll through any YouTube comment section and you're guaranteed to see a dozen of these replies. It'll last for another month or two before tiktok tells zoomers what the new joke is.
All these flavors, and you choose to be salty.
They always say I'm mean but they never say I'm wrong.
Nobody wants to argue with a tard. That is why.
Go back to tiktard.
I'm not gonna argue with you, tard.
I'd rather frick on. With your mother.
She be bussin, as in bussin back to Mexico after I'm done with her.
>Bussin
I know it went a little over your mongoloid brain but that's okay.
>esl is a trumper
privet
>Can't be a "trumper" when I'm not even American, you twit.
cringe
She did when she cleaned my toilets, Pablo.
have a nice day
Cooked
Cucked
Your mother's rancid pussy may just finish me off, Juan.
LMAO all the browns seething at this post
Let’s focus on mocking Madam Web not each other. She’s now in the Amazon guiz! Where he mother dies where she was researching spiders
Imagine the smell of her mother's pussy after weeks of walking around in the humid rainforest.
There’s some web in her panties for sure. Also by this point North Dakota is really phoning it in
I used to read these books as a kid. Not even christian.
because he's being mean to you, but you can't disprove him?
I'm not gonna argue with you, tard.
frick off back to tiktok, forever
Why don't you go cry into your own gaping butthole then stand on your head naked in your front lawn and become a birdbath? At least then you could be somewhat useful for once in your life.
Dude you got BTFO.
Yes, I do have balls that feel oval, thank you.
Can I suck them?
After that one Anon's mother is done.
this joke has been around since at least 2016...
I don't want facts. I want to be autistically angry over jokes.
Well it just shows that you're the zoomer newbie, since you thought this was a recently developed joke by zoomers.
>newbie thinks "I accidentally xyz" format is a zoomer meme
you probably also think this is the "reddit frog" because you saw it there first
The joke has been around for a few years at this point.
Since The Victorian age, I foresooth; such a tale of morbid humidity survived unto this modern age? CUMRAH AND UNFURL THE HERALDRY FOR SUCH A JOKE-SMITH COME HITHER INTO MY DOMAIN
i think it got popular when morbius came out
She has gorgeous feet
I will come see it Madame. I will come twice.
is it hot?
is this wank film?
Nobody stopped me when I jerk offd in the theater. But the theaters were pretty empty.
there's a moment where she is teaching the girls cpr repetitions and it was awkward as they all take turns with the camera slightly above the view of their hands
Im watching this now on flixwave and it’s so bad. DJ is so wooden, and her like deliveries are awful. “Oh actually my mother died in childbirthz. Oh it was the that bad teehee.” Plus you know the flash forward with the spider b***hes and Ezekiel (who they had to make bare footed to really make it obvious it’s him) is probably all we’ll see of then in costume.
Is it Morbius tier?
I can see it becoming meme worthy, but i’m 40 mins in and wanted a beer after 20
The ending is quite the ass blast.
>sponsored by Pepsi
Fricking kek, it wouldn't be a Sony movie without egregious product placement.
>Oh actually my mother died in childbirthz.
I haven't seen the rest of the movie but i saw that scene and you actually missed the joke? She gestures to the pregnant lady at that moment. It's an 'awkward moment' joke like on the Office or something and you thought it was a badly delivered serious line, you're a fricking moron
You’re a fricking moron. The whole film is full of bad line readings and that was one of many. Stupid c**t.
You clearly just hate Dakota. That scene was the best line delivery of the movie.
>How dod you realise you could change the future?
>Oh I stopped a pigeon from ohko itself on my window
Anyway I just hit the train bit, so everything past this was basically in the trailer anyways. Just gonna get drunk while this shit finishes then play Street Fighter. The table dancing to Britney better be hot at least
The movie of our time.
>have you found some dumb shit your mom wrote about spiders she wrote when she was in the amazon researching spiders right before she died? Well make sure you read it out loud to yourself, then ask your cat about the specifics. How else will the audience follow along?
The toxic dance scene wasn’t even hot >:(
Oh what can we do if we get killed by this dudes venom hands?
Uhhhhh, CPR?
Don't knock it. I once revived a severed head with CPR.
Did you phuket?
How do you think it got severed in the first place. On that note, I need to eat more pineapple.
Also surely they could track a taxi’s position in 2003? She steals one and its like everyone forgets about it. 30 minutes left…
>okay now the old lesbians steal a taxi
>Are you sure this will make a good superhero movie?
>Superheroes?
LAS ARANAS EL LOCO
>My mom didn’t care about me!
Yeah no shit. She was in the amazon researching spiders right before she died. But pregnant.
>I can’t do your leapy crawly death person!
>yeah but you got visions of the web lulz
does anyone have the clip of the films climax when the pepsi logo kills the villain?
it's already torrentable anon
No but it’s on flixwave.to if you know how to make webms. I have 20 mins left so almost there. It has been awful
capture it if you can please anon! the site is barely working for me
I’m streaming it through a smart tv browser so I can’t unfortunately, sorry!
>When you take on the responsibility great power will come
oh frick right off lol. I watched The Wolverine last night and that is like a masterpiece compared to this
>First Spider-Man film to star a woman
>First Spider-Man film with no Spider-Man
>The web is female (so empowering)
How is this not a hit? What else do you people want!?!??!
I’d like a competent story line. But i know that makes me a toxic incel misogynist for even thinking it
Spider-Man film to star a woman
98% of people have no idea what Madam Webb is, or that it has any connection to Spiderman.
are you saying shes the wife of the president of our time?
the first women to be the first women in this movie
The end scene is incredible.
>Madame Web has just saved some people
>Some guy wants to thank her as she's leaving, but he doesn't know her name
>"Wait, miss..."
>"It's 'madam', sir."
K I N O
>her name is "Madam Sir"
does she just change names on a whim?
>It's madame, weeb
There’s a scene where Emma Roberts waters burst and she is absolutely mogged by Sweeney Bod
Oh noes I’m trying to take my preggers waaifu to hospital and I got jacked by weird spider crawly venomman
Lolllll they attack him with electric paddles through the ambulance roof when he lands on it
Shit you weren't joking, this is in fact the worst movie of 2024
https://www.metacritic.com/browse/movie/all/all/current-year/metascore/?page=4
If the stars were ugly, critics would be gushing over it.
The year has just started, there's still time.
That's what they said about my life too
Smug c**t needs to be beaten with a shovel
There’s a running scene with all of them! Titty bounces!
Journos are piling on this shit because it's Sony. How is it worse than marvel slop?
Wow. So if you want to defeat a spider-man you just need a warehouse full of fireworks and some flares
I'm going to watch this movie with a nice cold beverage. And Pepsi is the only soft drink with the bubbly fizz that satisfies. Just pop the top and enjoy, like I do. I even got three for free at my local convenience store.
Omfg. They all escape to the top of the building after the fireworks. Then the skateboard chick boardslides a girder with a piece of metal and hits Ezekiel after. It’s turned into Legolas tier shit
He gets crushed by a S from a Pepsi Cola sign
It is the first soda of the movie.
This should have been a Pepsiman movie.
He's being foreshadowed as the next villain for Madame Web 2.
All you contrarian gayolers can go sit on a dick. It was the least unenjoyable capeshit I've seen in a very long time. No regrets.
didnt read post more dakota
dakota
good good. now make it sexy
Most dressed she's been in a while, but the girls are cute
they tried really hard to desexify SweeneyThot eh?
Right? Thick sweaters and boob limiters
Waste Spider-Moner on this fakeout, no suit, no action boring ass Madame Web origin story. Frick modern Sony is a group of fricking idiots, did the same c**ts from the insomniac game work on this?
>nig
>mutt
>man
none of these are cute
I'll give you the negress, but regarding the other two, kindly see GIF related.
Sweeney was so horribly miscast.
sexy dakota
good good now say it like a french maid
sexy dakota it like a french maid
Webb gets pwned by fireworks, falls in water, saved by Sweeney. The girls do CPR together. She comes back. Thank god she taught them this earlier right. Peters mom survives and gives birth to him. Webb is in hospital, bandages round eyes. Cuts to a scene with all of them together. She now wears blind people sunglasses but can see what they are doing. “She can see better than she ever had, can see them in the future standing up for what they
Believe and never giving up” “whatever the future holds we will he ready. The best thing about the future is it hasn’t happened yet” Then you get a 5 second shot of her in costume. Holy shit. I am drained. It took 8 beers to get through this and all the website hanging bullshit. A 2 hour movie took almost 4. What am I doing with my life
I'm waiting for the YMS video
>be prostitute known for a twilight fan fiction softcore porn movie
>get a "real movie"
>shit all over it and burn every bridge
What is her endgame?
fifty shades is more of a real movie than htis
Am I the only moron who has watched this all the way through?
Never put LGBT people in charge of male franchises again, unless you want to lose money
I have made 20 posts on this thread and now plan to kms
Another victim of covid.
No just general depression and seof destructive personality
I want a Morbius vs Madame Web movie. Or Madame Web vs Morbius? Who should go first in the title?
go back to twitter you dumb fricking Black person
Go play with your sister's balls you homosexual mangina.
>4.3mil opening Friday
This shit won't even reach it's already terrible prediction of 26mil
Hmm if only there was some way to increase viewership ........ nah guess not.
It's Ma'mm Web!
oh
the first
So guys are you going to "see it twice"?
Women directors suck at getting good performances out of women.
What's the best performance by a woman directed by a woman?
Scarlett in Lost in Translation?
Amado Carillo Fuentes Araña says the moment that Ezekiel stole the spider and kill all the people he was cursed with the vision of his death over and over again but I don't know when he actually started to get those visions.
At least he have sex, better than some Disney heroes.
i read the summary on wiki and it sounds like they dropped the ball with this guy. could've made him into a norman osbourne type ceo villain with interesting henchmen. actor they cast also looks too much like a male model, not convincing as "researcher". would've been cool if he was disfigured, and the spider healed his facial scars.
tldr: a shitty movie can be saved with a compelling villain
The mere quantity of aromatics required to sustain a female in a sane state would drive many movie studios bankrupt this thread is pure fantasy
Great! The very-first superhero movie with a woman as a lead!
I'm sure her lead was deleted post-humorous via a computer. To let an un-collared female to walk the streets? Unfathomable in a stable society which we live in Sir.
uhm, ackshually, there was an earlier one, chud!
O RLY?
What is that expression supposed to convey? I can't believe they picked that as the poster.
I collected a poster at the movies while watching Argylle.
Can someone explain why this movie even exists? Serious question. Sony already has the film rights to Spider-Man and approximately 900 other Spider-Man characters and it's not like they're going to lose those rights by not releasing this turd in theaters.
They ran out of villains. Basically the rights only extended to so many characters, including the villains. They've run through the villains too many times now. They want to keep profiting off Spiderman but they don't want to keep going back to the same well. So now they're running through other spiderman characters because they have to
>They've run through the villains too many times now.
Huh? People have been asking for a Sinister Six movie for like 15 years. They could have done that. Instead they chose to make a movie about a literal who character that no one has ever heard of and not even put her in a costume until the last 30 seconds of the movie.
Would a woman sculpt a work of art, or paint a great masterpiece? NO!! Rather your dog shits a Rembrandt then a female born with artistic abilities
do she shoot web out of pussy?