Did this actually happen?
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Did this actually happen?
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Movie was such a fricking letdown
IT IS EGGERS BEST WORK YET; «THE NORTHMAN» DEPICTS MEDIEVAL NORDICS WITH VERISIMILAR ACCURACY, AND THE FICTIONAL ARTIFICE AS A WHOLE ITSELF DRAWS INFLUENCE FROM THE SAGAS.
we all like having an anonymous forum. it brings us happiness. can you please just let us fricking be happy and have an anonymous forum you butthole.
THE FORA IN THIS WEBSITE HAVE NEVER BEEN ANONYMOUS.
AS A PERSON, I WANT TO SHOW & CONVEY MY PERSONALITY IN EVERYTHING THAT I DO, POSTING ON MANGANIME WEBSITES INCLUDED; IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU ARE A NAMELESS AUTOMATON.
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WELLBEING, NOR FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL STABILITY; IF SEEING A USERNAME ONLINE AGITATES YOU, YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL.
No it wasn't
What were you expecting?
a good movie
Ywnbaw
why not
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO NOTHING IN LIFE BUT CONSUME ENTERTAINMENT, AND CANNOT DISTIGUISH BETWEEN CINEMA, AND DOCUMENTARY; BETWEEN FICTION, AND NONFICTION.
GROUND YOURSELF, BREATHE SOME FRESH AIR, TAKE IN THE SUNLIGHT, STAND IN THE RAIN, TALK TO OTHERS, GET A HOBBY.
you first creep
>expected a epic
>got a squabble on a farm
WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT AN EPIC SET IN MEDIEVAL SCANDINAVIA? MEDIEVAL NORDICS WERE SORDID BARBARIANS THAT VEGETATED IN VILLAGES WHEN THEY WERE NOT RANSACKING AND RAPING.
>MEDIEVAL NORDICS WERE SORDID BARBARIANS THAT VEGETATED IN VILLAGES WHEN THEY WERE NOT RANSACKING AND RAPING.
yea a epic
«THE NORTHMAN» IS EPICAL, NOT AN EPIC; IF IT IS ELEVATED AT ALL, IT IS DUE TO EGGERS' ARTISTRY, OVERLAPPING THE LEGEND WITH ACTUAL HISTORY VIA MAGICAL DEVICES, INTRODUCING THE DYNASTICAL EPIPHANIES OF THE PROTAGONIST, SHOWING THAT HIS DAUGHTER, APPARENTLY, WOULD BE SAINT OLGA OF KIEV.
This poster is a filipino teenager.
INGEST YOUR MEDICAMENTS.
off yourself tripgay. all tripgays get the rope
i was expecting to watch a viking version of pathfinder
It is lame and boring which leads to being a let down but that doesn't make it bad, just ok.
IT SUSTAINS TENSION FROM BEGINNING TO END, THE PHOTOGRAPHY IS PERFECT, CHARACTERIZATION IS FLAWLESS, AND THE STORY IS ENGAGING AND WELL PLOTTED; IF THAT IS LAME & BORING TO YOU, CINEMA IS NOT FOR YOU.
have you even read any of the sagas? it's all squabbles on farms.
Why are you here? Tired of being made fun of at Cinemaphile?
He’s been on Cinemaphile longer than you zoomie
great film
the movie portrayed a norse burial mildly. Ibn Fadlan recorded his travels with a group of Rus' and it included a burial of a great man.
>great man has boat made for his funeral
>dead mans family ask the slave girls to choose who will go to the after life with him
>if one does not volunteer then one is picked
>girl is given a lot of wine to drink
>girl is then raped by all the family
>meanwhile a dog is cut in two and thrown on the boat
>girl then taken in to tent on boat
>men hold her down while another wraps rope around her neck and others stab her in the ribs
white people be crazy
kray kray
white boiiiiiieee
Not a good look whitey
I think this was in a portion of Europe that was still Pagan.
No shit
the Rus pretended to be Christian. Pagans were not allowed on Islamic land and so they lied so they could trade. Ibn Fadlan realised probably around the burial that they were not Christians.
The burial happened somewhere on the Volga river btw
>the Rus pretended to be Christian
some things never change anon
As if Christians have some moral high ground all they do is frick little boys and tell you you'll burn in fire forever if you don't love their israelite sky Daddy
pedo rates are higher in synagogues than in churches
also the catholic church seems to have been overtaken by gays that use the cover of religion to frick little boys and protect each other
i dont think that has anything to do with the religion it self
i grew up protestant and i never heard of any incident
than again our priest had a wife and kids
>pedo rates are higher in synagogues than in churches
nope
If you think the rate in church in synagogues is bad, you should check out the rate within atheists. Sad!
Why do Gi Surgeons and nurses make so much money in the Middle East?
Shalom
Haha but whats with the dog part tho
>>girl is then raped by all the family
so bro has to spend eternity with his family's leftovers?
we used to be a civilization.
that never happened
I'd believe the articulate Arab that comes from a civilization with a written language over white pagan savages who still lived in mud huts on up to 900 a.d. and well past.
Basert
Thirteenth Warrior was a better movie.
>film scene like this
>dont make her naked
why would Eggers do this
Wonder how this actress felt while they filmed this.
Paycheque’s a paycheque
Holy frick I hate white people. We need to educate everyone more of fricking insane their culture is.
still does in my town
lat/long?
Who cares it's fake and gay trash for women.
IF CINEMA IS FOR YOU, YES, YOU SHOULD WATCH «THE NORTHMAN» (2022).
MOST PEOPLE WERE EXPECTING AN «3P1C NORD MASTER RACE» FANTASY SCHLOCK IN THE STYLE OF THE «MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE», WHICH IS WHY THEY REGARD IT AS «DISAPPOINTING»: IT DID NOT FULFILL THEIR CRETINIC PRECONCEPTIONS OF IT.
thanks nordposter, I'll make sure to check it out
What does Cum Genius mean anyway?
someone had to carefully apply dirt to those soles
Not only that
someone had to tie her up
think about it anon
good god
and she had to stay like that for hours and hours on set
damn fine acting
with a brush or do you reckon they just used their hands?
do you think she is ticklish?
Probably one of those brushed they use to detail cars which would have tickles a lot
Do you think that's her actual spit discoloring the gag?
What kind of gag is this?
cleave gag
It's happening right now all over the world
happens at my house daily
Can someone post homosexual.jpg please
Another northman thread is up
It's the best telling of Hamlet I've ever seen. If you go into it expecting "le epin vikangs battle slop" you will be disappointed. I knew nothing about it, don't pay attention to any marketing and thought it was the best movie of the year by far. I unironically cheered at the final shot of the volcano. Absolute kino.
i went into it not expecting anything and I got a stripped down version of hamlet.
The Shakespeare play Hamlet is bloated and derivative of the Nordic tale of Amleth. The Northman is the Tale of Amleth, and pure uncut kino.
I love hogtie bondage.
How do I get an ATJ gf?